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friend_n answer_v great_a king_n 1,075 5 3.7673 3 true
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ID Title Author Corrected Date of Publication (TCP Date of Publication) STC Words Pages
A61403 England's merry jester: or, Court, city and country jests new, and suitable to the humours of the times; witty and familiar, for the encrease of merriment, and improvement of friendly conversation, as they are used among the wits of the age. To which are added, as a second part, Bulls; banters, quibbles, repartees, pleasant stories, and poems: the qualifications of an expert town-wheedle; with the art and mystery of wheedling. All profitable, pleasant, and delightful. The like never before published. Done by a lover of merriment. J. S. 1693 (1693) Wing S54; ESTC R219786 62,071 198

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search to be made for him to cause him to be punished but he could not be found till some of his Friends prevailed with the King to make his Peace And where then said he do you think all this while I have hid my self We know not reply'd they Why said Archee I 'll tell you even in the Chappel-Pulpit for I knew his Grace never wou'd come there to look for me 14. A down-right Country Farmer coming to bring this great Prelate Rent for some Tenures he held of him and having never before been in the presence of any but a Justice or the Mayor of a Corporation accosted him with May it please your Worship at the same time giving a scrape with his Hob-nail Shoes but was jogged by the Servants behind him and order'd to say Grace instead of Worship What said he must I say Grace where there 's no Meat but if it be the fashion here 't is an odd one then lifting up his Hands he said The Eyes of all things c. and so went on to the Admiration of the Bishop who took him to be distracted till he found he had done it by Misunderstanding 15. King Charles the First riding a Progress and coming to a Country Knight's House who though proud of the King's Visit yet his Coffers could not reach to a very sumptuous Entertainment for so great a Train but having very fine Orchards and Gardens it being Fruit time of year what wanted in Fish Fowl Sweet-meats c. was supplyed by the Tables being loaded with Pears Apples Plumbs Nuts c. insomuch that the King said What means this we shall ruin the Country which a blunt Country Fellow who waited hearing and thinking to put a fine Gloss upon the matter replyed Your Majesty need not fear that for we have so many that we are forced to give them to the Hogs which pretty Complement set the whole Company in a Laughter 16. Hugh Peters the Bell-weather Holder-forth who was a kind of a Buffoon Jester to Oliver Cromwell Preaching at White-Hall before him began commend the Officers for their Courage and Bravery telling how they had been Advanced what Favours they had received from the Protector but here 's particularly one amongst you that has been as deserving as the best of you a Man that has had Experience of Hemp in his Calling for some say he 's a Shoe-maker others that he 's but a Cobler but let him be which of these he will his Name is Hewson and here sits a sleep under the Pulpit This Banter upon the cobling Colonel made such a tittering among those that sate next to him that he awak'd and thinking all was done was about to go out which Peters perceiving said Nay Colonel since you have had such a large Nap you are by this time sober enough to take 'tother Glass and turning up his Pulpit-glass went on with another Hour's Harrangue much to the like edifying purpose 17. The French Ambassadour residing at Court in the Reign of King Charles the Second to boast the Greatness and Success of his Master went vauntingly about shewing a Distich he had made Una dies Lotheros Burgundos Hebdomas una Una domat Battavos Luna quid Annus agit This proud Insult displeasing the witty Lord Rochester since dead he was resolved to put upon the Monsieur and looking over his shoulder turn'd them thus into English Lorrain he stole by Fraud he got Burgundy Holland he bought but Faith he 'll pay for 't one day Upon this the French-man made his Complaint to the King but to no purpose the King telling him he was a person that would have his Humours of that kind do what he could 18. This Noble-Man being very early in St. James's Park walking and musing for new Crotchets of Poesie met the King with his Brother and the Duke of Lauderdale walking from White-Hall to St. James's the King seeing him said How now Rochester what makes you so early here I warrant you have some new-minted Fancies in your Head Come let us hear one of them the Earl excused it as not convenient but the King pressing it promising he would not be angry whatever it was he thus descanted on them For Maiden-Head-Bargains your Majesty's best The Duke for his Valour and breaking a Jest And Lauderdale that is so wondrous pretty By his Politicks gains the Applause of the City O my Conscience says the King he has Satyr'd upon us all well go thy ways thou art an Arch Wag and so they parted 19. King Charles the Second was a very merciful Prince to Offenders and extended his Clemency to a great many that were condemn'd the condemn'd Roll one day being presented to him by the Recorder of London to know his Pleasure who should Suffer several Courtiers being present interceded some for one and some for another whom he crossed out till there was but one left then he asked who spoke for him but none answering O my Conscience says the King this is a poor Fellow and wants Mony I 'll stand his Friend and struck him out 20. When the great Heat of Petitioning was one Foot a Petition among others was Delivered by which being read King Charles looking upon those that brought it said very familiarly to them Well Neighbours I cannot but wonder you should trouble your selves about my Business however we 'll defer it for this time and tell the rest of my Neighbours when I come to Windsor I 'll discourse it further with them over a Pot of Ale and so dismissed them smiling at the Answer they were to return to the rest of the Subscribers 21. A Woman who was adapted to some-what of the Frailty of her Sex being brought to bed of a Boy her Husband sitting by the Bed-side was consulting who should be Gossips and amongst others he named a person who was by some suspected to have a hand in the pye saying he knew he would stand whereat lifting up her Hands she reply'd O the Father that you should think of him 22. A plump Country Lass being in a London Service her Master wheedled her to his Embraces so that after repeated Dalliances she proved with Kid and one day there being a Pig for Dinner she happening to Long for the Ears eat them as knowing if they came to the Table they would not fall to her share and therefore made sure work before-hand the Mistress however missing them made Enquiry and being told the naked Truth by the simple Girl demanded how she came to be in that condition Why truly and indeed forsooth reply'd she by my Master's help the Woman then wishfully looking upon her Husband who sate by said Is this true Yes indeed reply'd he I believe it may And when was it done said she Why truly Sweet-heart when you were sick last Ah! reply'd she with a Sigh and was I so sick can a Woman be so sick that her Husband must needs go astray O unkind Man 23. A Woman in the Country