Carriage to her was too high and peevish apprehending her too little submissive to me as a Husband and too ready to invade the Authority I thought my self to have a Right to here I might mistake but however by it see abundance of Pride and Corruption in my Nature the Good Lord humble me for that 6. My not discharging it may be all Marriage-Duties as I ought might provoke the Lord. 7. It may be I have done this in cumbring my self with so much worldly Business in bad times and when I had no need Now the Lord seems to knock me off from such Cumbers by taking from me her that was wonderfully assisting to me in them Present Thoughts I have had with reference to my Removal since the Death of my Wife as to a retired Life After my seeking God by Prayer about my Settlement the Encouragements for my continuing at Ollercarr were such as these 1. THE Lord's Providence bringing me to this Place more particularly manifest in my Diary in the first part of my Life and his giving me great Encouragement in my enjoying Gospel-Ordinances here without very much Interruption or Disturbance 2. The Favour and Respect he has been pleased to give me from the whole Neighbourhood 3. A Settlement by House-keeping Necessaries being concerned to take care of some whom I would provide for according to my Ability 4. My having a great Husbandry upon my Hands and eleven Years Lease of this Estate 5. The Capacity I am in of serving this Neighbourhood by the publick Opportunities the Lord has blest me with here Reasons and Encouragements for Removing from Ollercarr 1. THe Loss of my Dear Wife upon whose account at first I was chiefly induc'd to this Place but now very uncomfortable to me 2. The irregular Carriages and Behaviour of Servants in Family-Affairs and my Unfitness to manage and look after them 3. In regard that I have Encouragement enough that I may let this Land or else manage it with two or three faithful Servants in my Absence and it may be more to my advantage than now 4. The very great Unsetledness of Present-times and my Obnoxiousness to their Effects seems to call me to a more retired way of Living than here at Ollercarr 5. The Debts which at present I am in I am apprehensive can no better way be soon discharged which I much desire than by giving up House-keeping at least for some time 6. By a more retired way of Living I may have greater advantage for Self-Reflections and more time than here I can have for the Management of Soul-Concerns 7. The Cumbers of the World will ill sute me in my solitary and lonesome Condition when the Language of present Providence seems to call me off from these things 8. By giving up House for a time I shall have the advantage of Visiting Conversing with and serving some Relations that need Help and Assistance and I have been too much wanting to 9. Because my present Purpose after seeking the Lord in the case is but to leave my House here for the Winter half-year it being uncomfortable enough then 10. Mr. Coats and his Dear Consort whom I heartily love and honour need be no Losers by this Alteration they may here keep House take Tablers serve their Generation and live at as little charge I believe as any where else and if so then the great Objections I have against leaving this House will be removed and my leaving it encouraged and the Ordinances of God will still be kept up here to the Refreshment of this hungering Neighbourhood 11. I may the rather go upon this account that Mr. Coats the last Year had given me notice to remove from me The Author having gone so far by his own Hand in the Account of his Life to June 86 some farther Passages since that time to the time of his Death be pleased to take a view of in the Preface written by his Worthy and Reverend Pastor In which Place it was thought best to insert them rather than to interrupt what he had collected and recorded himself LETTERS A LETTER to a Relation inviting him to forsake Sin and to pursue Holiness April 1685. SIR COnsidering the ill use you have made of some former Advice given you I have not upon that account much encouragement to make further Attempts of that nature yet knowing that the Work of Convincing and Converting is the Lord's and that the Wind blows where and when it listeth I may not despair but some Good through the Blessing of the Almighty may yet be done upon you I do indeed purposely conceal my Name at present lest you should despise or slight the Advice upon the account of the Adviser whom you have too lavishly and unjustly reproached though I am confident I have deserved better Treatment at your hands But this is not the thing such Passages I can pass by yet sadly bewail them in you as knowing them to be some of the dismal Effects of your drunken Frolicks but remember for these and the like things God will bring you to Judgment I am not ignorant that many of those that wish you well have advis'd and reprov'd you again and again for your sinful Follies and would fain have you as well remember that terrible Threatning That he that being often reprov'd and hardens his Heart shall suddenly be destroy'd and that without Remedy Wherein you have injured me by your Tongue I can pass it by I would not return Slander for Slander nor answer Railing with Railing nor Reproach with Reproach I have not so learned Christ I can heartily pity you forgive you and pray for you and would now fain perswade you to be good and what can be more your Interest than to be so Come Sir if you have any respect to a dear and tender Wife that lies in your Bosom to a small Babe to indulgent Parents to well-wishing Friends to your own Soul Body or Estate but above all to the Commands of a great God you must be good make a stand consider and take up in time It 's my Love to you makes me thus plain with you for I dare not flatter Whatever you may think or however others may endeavour to palliate great Sins by giving them easy Names Sin will be called Sin and Wickedness Wickedness Drunkenness will be call'd Drunkenness and Sweating Swearing at the Great-day and punished as such and why not now Repentance is your Duty and that can never be right and evangelical without Reformation I do believe it is your desire to be eternally happy and can you expect it if you be not holy Without Holiness no one shall see the Lord Heb. 12. 14. Can you ever expect to get in at the Strait-gate while you walk in the Broad-way no Strait is the Gate and narrow the Way that leadeth unto Life and few there be that find it O that you may be one of those few Will you do the Devil's Work and expect the Lord's
and I did enjoy more of God in a few years than I had done perhaps all my Life before There indeed it was we sat under our own Vine with delight there could we go to our solemn Assemblies where Multitudes with us did keep Holy-Day there did we long enjoy our Sanctuary-Blessings none making us afraid There had I opportunity of conversing with those serious Christians in whom was my delight viz. Mr. Lupton my first Acquaintance a holy Christian and one useful loving and assisting to me in all Offices of Love whilst he lived James Coates a near Neighbour a plain Man but a hearty Christian a Person most unwearied in Labours of Love and always active in serving the Church of Christ Mr. Musson a most lively and refreshing Companion a Man of as meek humble and heavenly a Frame as any I think I ever observ'd And the Reverend my worthy good Friend Mr. Reyner who was extreamly useful whilst he liv'd and most heartily lamented when he died his Memory is precious to me and I believe will be to all good Men that knew him but these are all gone to Heaven and surely then it was time for me to leave Nottingham having before parted with so many Friends I dearly lov'd Others in Nottingham I soon got acquaintance with and People of great Worth but these named were my intimate Friends and familiar Acquaintance whom I especially valued because they fear'd God I bless God for this Experience as to my first inducing Motive to Nottingham 2. Another Reason inclining me to Nottingham being also very perswasive was this That I should come into that Town a perfect Stranger and was perswaded I should find it a much easier matter to make choice of new good Companions there than it could be to shake off my old bad Companions at Lincoln if I should settle there when the Lord toucht my Heart and set my Face Heavenwards I durst not again trust my self amongst the Snares and Temptations of those near Lincoln that had sometimes been Brethren in Iniquity with me I was now much upon my Watch my Heart having too often deceiv'd me to be much trusted I had found it too treacherous at London Swinderby Barkston and Lincoln and therefore durst not but guard it well at Nottingham Though I can say and heartily bless the Lord for the Experience God has wrought up my Heart to an universal Abhorrence of Sin and a Love to the Ways of Holiness sometimes indeed and too often Hurries of Temptation runs me into too great though blessed be God not gross Miscarriages and Pride I see at the bottom of all But O! after such Stumbles God has help'd me up again and humbled me and made me more watchful and circumspect I now experience blesbe Free-Grace God has given me a tender Conscience I am now afraid of Sin yea of any thing that looks like Sin I can indeed remember the time when I could have committed apparent Evils with less Trouble and Terror of Conscience than now through Grace the very appearance of Evil in me is accompanied with And this I do experience that all the Service that Sin has ever done me is this I have been after the more enlarg'd in Prayer I have put through assisting Grace greater Fervency into them and I have been much humbled in bewailing them and very importunate with Tears for the Lord's Pardon 3. The third Thing that perswaded me to Nottingham was that my Self Wife and all our Relations did approve of our Design when they understood the Reasons of it here we continued with great Content and Satisfaction at Mrs. Gamble's for almost a Year and half And then we finding through the Lord's Blessing our Circumstances somewhat altered and advanc'd and we in a Capacity to furnish part of a House we then concluded to take Lodgings partly furnish'd which we did and entred upon Rooms at Mr. Roger Ryley's as Tennants the 18th of February 1673. Here we had a little Family but observ'd partly the same Methods for Family-worship we do now not only for our own advantage but I hope to the advantage of several of Mr. Ryley's Family too His eldest Daughter liv'd with us and Nelly a younger Child came very often to join with us both on Week-Days and Sabbath-Days and I do trust God made us some ways useful to that Girl who I observ'd to have a good appetite to spiritual Things she came to Repetition and Catechism and indeed was pretty forward for Religion and I do hope retains her Appetite now being a Servant in the City of London We continued there not quite three Years where though we could not expect to get much good from our Neighbours in the other part of the House they being generally too carnal yet the Lord made it a comfortable Settlement in regard I trust the Lord so far blessed our weak Endeavours as that we did some good there as some of them yea Mr. Ryley himself did acknowledg But now yet finding our Condition as to worldly Matters encreasing through the Lord's Blessing and our Family also enlarging I took a House of Mrs. Smith's over against the Castle and entred upon it the 29th of September 1676 and that House we furnished compleatly the Lord pardon our Pride in that After we had continued some time here I was invited to go to Lincoln and my Father's Design then being shortly to leave that City and to live in Yorkshire at Brother Stanyforth's at Firbeck he did earnestly and importunately sollicite me by several Letters to live in Yorkshire with him His main Reasons for cohabiting were 1. That I might the better be acquainted with his Business which after him he told me would be mine 2. That he might in his old Age be eas'd in Business usually very great by my bearing a part with him 3. That we might especially be helpful one to another in the best Things for though I had reason enough from the meanness of my Abilities to believe I could be but little serviceable to him in any thing yet he was pleas'd to think otherwise and would some times take notice of my Improvements in Spirituals Once I remember before the Year 1680 he told me I having pray'd pretty much with him at that time of my being as a Visitor at Lincoln That God had given me the Gift of Prayer I reply'd to this purpose being indeed troubled in my Mind lest Gifts were all they being too in my own Apprehensions mean Sir the Gift of Prayer I look upon as nothing where there is not the Grace of Prayer it 's that I mostly desire and wait for and without which Prayers would little avail My Father to encourage as he thought my living with him told me he would turn over his Estate to me and help me whilst he liv'd in the Management of it but this was no Argument to me his Son comparable to the Commands of a Father I being through Mercy not at all of late Years
Wages it cannot be for your Bible tells you What you sow that shall you reap and he that cannot lie hath said If you live after the Flesh you shall die but if you through the Spirit do mortify the Deeds of the Body ye shall live I am not for inviting you to a Party or for tying up Salvation to this or that Opinion but I would fain prevail with you to be good for be of what Opinion you will the Scripture warrants me to tell you That without Strictness Self-denial and Holiness you cannot be saved Mat. 16. 42. Mat. 11. 12. 1 Pet. 1. 15 16. Dear Sir as you tender the everlasting Welfare of your Soul do no longer as the most but imitate the best and endeavour to be a Follower of those who through Faith and Patience inherit the Promises or things promised Forsake bad Company for you know who has said The Companion of Fools shall be destroyed Prov. 13. 20. Be you a Companion of those that fear God and let not the Wicked any longer intice you or however prevail with you for the Scripture is very clear and positive in it That except Drunkards repent and reform they shall be shut out of the Kingdom of Heaven 1 Cor. 6. 9 10. That except Swearers repent of their prophane Swearing and reform they shall fall into Condemnation James 5. 12. That unless Liars put away their Lying and speak every one Truth to his Neighbour they shall have their part in the Lake that burns with Fire and Brimstone Rev. 20. 8. That if Company-keepers forsake not the Foolish that is the Wicked and live they shall be reckoned amongst the Companions of the Wicked who shall be destroyed Prov. 13. 20. I charge you not but leave it to your own Conscience to consider how far you are guilty in any of these Matters and then get into your Closet down upon your Knees bewail before God your sinful Miscarriages and beg a new Heart and Grace that you may live a new Life and be assured that what I say is out of a sense of your deplorable Condition whilst you remain in your Sins and a Desire to see you return to that God who waits to be gracious Come to Christ and heartily accept him for he is offered to you O that I could see this great Work done what a rejoycing would it be to all that are good about you Then might your Wife bless God for such a Husband who would help her Heavenwards then would your pious Relations delight in your Society and your Parents with joy say as the Father of the Prodigal This my Son was lost but is found was dead but is alive yea the Conversion of a Sinner on Earth causes Joy in Heaven That the Lord would bless this Advice to you is the earnest Prayers of him who shall then approve himself always Your Friend and Servant in Christ Jesus G. D. A Letter to my Mother Mrs. B. D. upon the Death of her good Daughter and my dear Sister Stanyforth Ever honoured Mother AT this time I have much Business upon my hands and some that requires quick dispatch otherwise my coming to see you would have prevented my writing to you and now I should be sorry that these Lines should add weight to your Sorrows by setting your Wounds a bleeding afresh I am much readier to bear a part of your Burthen having reason enough to be concern'd for and sensible of so sad a Breach as it has pleas'd the Lord to make upon us by the Death of my dear Sister Stanyforth Something I would contribute to your Support and Refreshment under such a Dispensation therefore desire your perusal of the under-written Considerations which has wonderfully supported me the Blessing of Heaven render them useful to you 1. We may and ought to consider the necessity of Dying 2 Sam. 14. 14. For we must needs die Preceding Generations made way for us and shall not we make way for others when God calls 2. The Friends we lose are not so much ours as God's God has taken but what he first lent This comforted Job when amongst other things he had lost his Children The Lord gave saith he and the Lord hath taken away blessed be the Name of the Lord. 3. God has a hand in the Death of Friends My Times are in thy Hand says holy David and is there not an appointed time to be upon Earth 4. God in the saddest Passages of Providence aims at his People's Good All things shall work together for them that love God c. 5. God is still with us Psal 46. 1. Though Friends forsake us through unavoidable Mortality yet an everlasting God is where he was There is Sweetness enough in God to sweeten all outward imbittering Circumstances Though the Conduit-Pipes thrô which Mercies were convey'd unto us be taken away the Fountain runs still entire in God May we have a care of doing any thing to dim the Eye of our Faith for Hagar we read had a Fountain by but her blubbering Eyes kept her from beholding it 6. How great soever the Stroke and Affliction is we yet deserve greater our Sins are heavier than our Sufferings the Fire of God's Wrath is not proportion'd to the Fewel of our Sins 7. God has taken away one great Comfort but he might have taken away all Shall we receive Good at the Hands of God and shall we not receive Evil 8. Consider the Evil that comes by Discontent and immoderate Sorrow Discontent makes us our own Tormentors Luk. 21. In Patience possess your Souls by Impatience we are Possessors of our Sins and turn'd out of our Understandings Peace and Comfort Too immoderate Sorrow wastes the Spirits Prov. 15. By Sorrow of the Heart the Spirit is broken 2 Cor. 7. Worldly Sorrow worketh Death it greatly provokes God A meek and quiet Spirit is in the Sight of God of great price but a froward peevish Spirit is abominable to him Prov. 11. 20. 17. 20. 22. 5. Psal 18. 26. God may be provoked by this Sin to lengthen out Misery and to adjourn Mercy 9. God gives and takes away Relations at his own Pleasure let us rather praise God we have enjoy'd such a Blessing so long than repine she is gone so soon bless we a smiting as well as a smiling God a taking as well as a giving God 10. The Breach made is sad but herein God has 1. Done us no Wrong 2. He has done our dear Friend no Hurt Done us no Wrong he has taken but his own his own by his Creation by your Donation by Purchase and Redemption and by her own free Resignation And has our dear Father hurt her Is it to hurt her to put her to Bed to throw off her filthy Garments from her to gratify her in her own longing Desire which was To be dissolv'd and to be with Christ and to enshrine her in Glory 11. Think of the Invalidity of Weeping If Tears could possibly bring my
1690. THat I have particularly mentioned the Sins of my Youth c. I must acquaint all Perusers of this Book That I am not asbamed to do it for the advance of Free and Rich Grace Some PASSAGES of the LIFE of Gervase Disney from my first Marriage especially with many Particulars before such as either occur'd to Memory or by the help of my Diary I was capable of taking In which I have endeavoured as Impartially to view my dark Side as Bright and both for these Reasons By the former I discover the miserable Corruption of my wretched Nature the Wiles and Subtilties of a busy Devil who goes about like a roaring Lion seeking whom he may devour By the latter I would discover the wonderful Free Grace of God to me who was one of the worst and greatest of Sinners in bringing me from under Satan's Slavery and Dominion I The said Gervase Disney was born the Day of March 1641 at of Religious Parents viz. John Disney of Swinderby in the County of Lincoln Esq the Eldest Son by a Second Venter of Sir Henry Disney of Norton-Disney Kt. and Barbara his Wife who was the Eldest Daughter of Gervase Lee of Norwell-Hall in the County of Nottingham Esq They had nine Children lent them by the Lord viz. Cornelius Elizabeth Gervase Mary John Sarah Samuel Dorcas Daniel Sarah and Samuel died very young The former of the Purples and tho very young yet had a good Savour of Spiritual Things upon her Heart and in that Sickness a longing desire to be dissolved and to be with Christ She was esteemed one of the beautifullest Children that ever was seen her Hair being Milk white and Complexion pure white and red yet it was judg'd her greatest Beauty lay within the Lord having betimes adorned her Soul with Ornaments of Grace and from the abundance of her Heart her Mouth did often speak to the great Comfort and Refreshment of weeping Friends that stood about her She called much upon God as her Father My Father one Day standing by her Bed-side and hearing her frequently cry out O my Father my Father asked her who she meant did she mean him O no no said she it 's my Heavenly Father I cry after you are my Father on Earth but it 's my Father in Heaven I want You cannot help me but he can Many such like Passages I have heard my Father Disney report of her which shewed her to be more sit for Heaven than Earth Samuel also died young of a Lethargy being removed from Earth to Heaven when about the Age of 4 Years He was a Child of most pregnant Parts and had a strange understanding in the best Things He was indeed a good Young Samuel and feared God from a Child He was my Father's great Favourite and Darling in his Company and with his pretty Talk my Father did much delight and would therefore usually at his walking Hours which he did pretty much for Exercise he must lead his young Samuel by the Hand and then could not but admire his pious Talk his strange Questions in Divinity which I have heard my Father say sometimes he was astonished at and sometimes his Questions would be so deep that lie was almost non-plust to answer He was extraordinary Inquisitive and would usually demand a Reason for every Thing under Debate He loved Prayer and would not tho so very young be got to Bed without it his wonderful Ripeness in his Infancy seemed a Presage and Prognostick in his Friends Apprehensions that he was not like to be long one of this World he seemed indeed to be tho a Bud yet ripe for nipping As soon as Sickness seised him my Father sent down Hill at Lincoln to good Old Mr. Reyner to desire his Prayers for him and not long after went down himself to make Enquiry after him Mr. Reyner presently told him I believe with Sorrow enough that as to his Son Samuel he must resign him to God and prepare to part with him for â—he did not believe he was long for this World and saith he I ground my perswasion upon this when I pray for his Recovery I find strange Restraints upon my Spirit and am much dampt strained but when I pray that the Lord would fit him for himself and crown him with Happiness to Eternity when I beg for the Eternal Welfare of his Soul I am then much enlarged Thus the Secrets of the Lord was with that good Man that truly feared him for the Child died at that Time thâ— I suppose as likely to live according to Haimâ—â—â—â— Conjecture as any of us being all 〈…〉 of the Small-Pox at that time but my Brother Cornelius who had that Distemper young and my Sister Mâ—…y who through God's Goodness escaped the Infection by my Mother's removing her to Sâ—â—inder by when we were dropping down of them one after another My Brother Cornelius died of a Consumption about the Year 1664 and in about the 28th Year of his Age at my Uncle Thomas Disney's at Stoke-Hammond He went to School at Lincoln where his quick and ripe Natural Parts were soon observed at School he was so extraordinary industrious and studious that in a short time such was his Proficiency in Humane Learning the was accounted one of the â—…st Scholars not only of that School but perhaps of that Town and Country As to Grammar-Learning his Master Mr. Clark was pround he had such a Scholar to boast of being indeed the very Credit of his School and would therefore usually put him upon the most difficult Tasks in Learning and Disputing He was a great Improver of Time in his younger Years I having been credibly informed he would hardly allow himself time for those necessary Repasts that Nature might warrantably challenge the spare time that he had from School which other Scholars spent in Play and youthful Recreations he would constantly with great Delight spend in his Study usually rising early and sitting up late for such end His great Prosiciency in Learning was such that he proved very useful I may not say serviceable to the Scholars of the same Form for whilst they were spending their spare Hours with delight in Play he would be spending his with as great delight in his own Studies or in the Service of those Idle Lads who commonly engaged his help in preparing their School-Exercises for them they knowing well that what he did of that Nature would pass in School as current Pay for the discharge of those Debts they by their idle trifling Humour had contracted He was likewise very forward in the best Things truly Conscientious as in Charity must be believed in his Closet-Duties he spending much time there a constant Attender upon Ordinances both on Sabbath-days and Week-day-Lectures He took Sermons very exactly in Short-Hand and repeated them as distinctly after in my Father's Family He was very useful to those of us that were Younger and would most frequently upon a Sabbath-day
being so But here let me stop a while to admire the transcendent Goodness of my Heavenly Father to me a most vile Wretch That he should do more for me than others who I think had done less for him and more against him than most others What such a Brand as I snatch'd out of the Fire Such a wandring Prodigal brought home to God! O my Soul stand and wonder What so hard a Heart as mine softned So proud a Heart as mine humbled So obstinate a Will as mine subdued O amazing Goodness This is the Lord 's doing and must always 〈◊〉 marvellous in mine Eyes Though alas alas whilst I am here in the Body I must say with the Apostle Paul I find a Law in my Members warring and rebelling against the Law of my Mind that when I would do Good Evil is too often present with me So that the Things I would not do I do Corruption I find too much stirring and even â—…ainting the best I do for God Yet through Grace I have these present Grounds to hope for Salvation God in infinite Mercy has made me sensible not only of my great Sins but of the â—ileness of my Heart and Nature he has made me to abhor my self for my Sins and I hope truly to repent of them For I do find that what was before the delight of my Soul is now become as bad as Hell to me That God has brought me so far off from mine own bottom as to convince me that all my Prayers and Tears and Duties are not able to save me A Christ alone I must have have thrown my self at his Foot for Mercy resolving if I must perish I 'le perish there I love him above all and can I hope through Divine Assistance part with all for his Sake About the Year 1670 I was by many Friends recommended to several good Matches but particularly by that Reverend and Worthy Minister of Jesus Christ my Cousin Sylvester who providentially I met with at my Brother Hatfield's who there acquainted me that he had it long and much upon his Thoughts to recommend a Person to me he believed would make me a good Wife That he knew her to be a Person of great Worth and the only unmarried Daughter of Mr. Spateman He encouraged me very much that though I should not proceed in that Affair yet the Acquaintance of so good a Family would sufficiently recompense my Pains and Journey After some mature Consideration I returned him Thanks and embraced the Motion and soon after went to that House where though I was then a perfect Stranger yet through the very great Freedom and Kindness of the good old Gentleman I soon became acquainted was received with much Candour and entertained with a hearty Welcome So soon as his Daughter came down which was about 6 a Clock to Family-Prayers he put us I remember both to the Blush by telling her here was one Mr. Disney come as recommended to her for a Sweet-heart After some short time I had encouragement to proceed in the Affair was much pleased with the Family and with the Report I had of the Person to whom I was to make my Addresses Providence seemed to smile upon the Transaction our Parents after some Debate came to an Agreement as to Terms So that when we had sought God solemnly upon a Day that I desired we might keep for that purpose by Mr. Porter and Mr. Otefield we came to a Conclusion And that happy Union betwixt my Dear Wife Mrs. Rebecca Spateman and my self was made the 29th of June 1671 being Thursday We were married by Mr. Nixon of Morton at Trinity-Chappel And here methinks I cannot but take notice to the Honour of God what a Wife he was pleased to lend me God has made her to me the greatest outward Blessing and Comfort that ever I had to the time of her Death The usual Properties of a good Wife are such as these Piety Prudence Love Faithfulness Chastity Housewifery Frugality Self-Denial Meekness Patience Subjection Simpathy and Helpfulness I do not know any in the World that can â—oust of a Wife exactly thus qualified but do believe most of them to be in mine a valuable Portion indeed to this time when we have been married 14 years I have found her first and last She is a truly good Woman yet but a Woman and therefore subject to humane Frailties her Spirit was somewhat too high and my Humour a great deal too proud and this occasion'd too often Jarrings betwixt us but through Grace we have both seen the ill Consequences of such strife and the Lord has made us more useful and less provoking one to another It was then considered where we should make our setled abode Roadenooke Friends were desirous we would either be there or near them when at the same time my Father and Mother Disney desired we would be with them at Lincoln and several Reasons of weight were urged on both sides which put us into a great Strait and Labyriâ—th being desirous as near as we could to please them all and not disoblige any So that this Medium was by me propos'd and as readily approv'd of to fix some-where between our Friends and the Place concluded on was Nottingham where though I was a perfect Stranger to the Town and knew not one Person in it yet after seeking of God in the Matter we were wonderfully induced to take a Settlement in that Place And now being resolv'd and that with the Approbation of our Friends upon a Removal thither we concluded Tabling would best comport with our Circumstances at that time We soon then enquired and found out by the help of Mr. Reyner a Religious Family to table in viz. Mrs. Gamble's in Bridlesmith-Gate whither we came the 24th of September 1672. And I must say it was a good Providence that brought me thither not only upon on the account of a good Land-lady we tabled with and the good Society we had with worthy Mr. Secker and his Wife who were Tablers there at the same time but especially upon account of the good Acquaintance I there presently got and the comfortable Opportunities for our Souls we there enjoy'd The Reasons inclining us to Nottingham were such as follow 1. The very good Society there to be had and the comfortable Ordinances there to be enjoy'd not only on Sabbath-Days but Week-Days too Mr. Whitlock Mr. Reynolds and Mr. Barrett being the Ministers of that Society there that I and my dear Wife entred our selves unworthy Members of blessed be God for that they carried on the Work for the most part on Lord's-Days and every Wednesday there was a Lecture carried on by all or most of the Non-conforming Ministers there-abouts in the Counties round they taking their turns in that Work And O what cause have I to bless God to eternity for the comfortable Enjoyments of that Place there I think my Heart was more carried out after God in an Ordinance
inclin'd to expect or depend upon much of the World nor ever lay under the temptation of desiring any Friend's Death for my worldly Advance My Father 's most perswasive Letter for my living with him I answered largely the 22d of February 16â—5 After I had considered and debated the Thing deliberately advis'd with Friends sought God by Prayer and weigh'd Reasons for it and against it which was of late Years my constant Method for the deciding any difficult Case and answered him in the Negative for the Reasons under-written if he would please to approve of them which he did Reasons against leaving Nottingham such as these 1. We came to Nottingham with the concurring Consent of all our Friends now by removing further from them we must I see necessarily disoblige some 2. After my seeking God for Direction in the Matter and keeping a Day to that purpose at Roadenooke we found our Inclinations more to this place than any though Lincoln was before most in our Thoughts in compliance with Friends there 3. Here our main ends in coming have been answered viz. the enjoying the Gospel and the Society of good quickning Christians in this respect I thought few Towns priviledged like Nottingham 4. Here God has used me as an Instrument though the weakest of good to some and I know not what further Service he may have for me here in this Place 5. Here we have the Love of all sober Christians and Favour beyond Expectation from different-minded Magistrates 6. Here God has providentially disposed and committed to me the Education of Children yea the Children of Religious Parents And I think I cannot so faithfully discharge that Trust nor answer the end of him I honoured now with God if whilst I may I have them not under my Eye especially whilst so young 7. Both my Wife and my Self are very much averse to Tabling for many Reasons 8. Another Reason that I thought material at that time was this I can by no means away with a Country-Life I having here the advantage of improving my self and doing good to others I cannot expect in a Country-Retirement 9. I have some Years unexpired in my Lease of this House I am in 10. I have taken several Tablers These Reasons fully satisfied my Father Disney and Mother and I had their Leave to continue at Nottingham and here the Lord blessed me wonderfully though now and then I was under the rebukes of Providence yet was stisfied all was in love to my Soul and to the advantage of my Inner-Man Several Troubles I met with upon account of my Nonconformity though I did believe and did accordingly practise that it was my Duty to go as far as I could with a safe Conscience in obeying the Authority I liv'd under And was perswaded in my own Breast That I could never take Comfort in those Sufferings I brought upon my self by not doing what Authority enjoin'd and I might lawfully comply with without Sin About April 1682 when the Spirit of Persecution grew hot in Nottingham and much of the Malice of the Magistrates seem'd to be levelled against me I thought I had a Call and was thereupon resolved with the Concurrence of God to remove and that as sometimes we thought to London grounding my Opinion of the Lawfulness of it upon some Reasons but especially upon that Text of Scripture If they persecute yon in one City flee to another For about half a year I sought Counsel of God in the thing having always a desire to be where God would have me But having all this while by my self and Friends us'd all the means I could to provide a convenient Habitation I met with constant Disappointments as to those Houses which lay most convenient for the Management of my Affairs which were Shipley Codgrave and Brameote and as for London I was perswaded it was too remote from my Business and too far distant from Friends On October the 19th 1682 Winter being far come on and Ways bad I took up a Resolution with the advice of Friends to settle at my own House in Nottingham that I had bought upon the High-Pavement These were the Reasons that prevailed with me 1. Most of those whom I consulted with were of opinion where-ever I went I should be liable to Sufferings if I kept from sinful Compliances and might be as safe in Nottingham as elsewhere 2. God did at that time wonderfully incline my Self and Wife to make a trial of that House 3. It was at that time providentially at liberty the Tenant I had being gone and the House upon my hands And here though blessed be God from my Marriage I did not neglect Family-Duties I set upon a more strict conscionable and methodical Discharge of all the Duties of Religion both Publick Family and Private than before and did strive against the Sins of my Constitution which I found were Pride of Heart and Passion c. Many Troubles I met with and was often disturbed yet it was not throÌ„ Mercy for sinning against God but serving him Much Money it cost me to take off Fines and Excommunications Some Ministers were taken being Lodgers at those times at my House as Mr. Barrett and Mr. Shelverdine Upon Mr. Shelverdine's Taking I find this Memorandum in my Diary viz. The first Day I begun the course of having Ministers to help me in my Sabbath-day-work Mr. Shelverdine being that Day the Person my Sister Wigley who liv'd then by us desired might take the first turn and begin the Work He was taken by an Officer at the Lady Berresford's who had desired some help from him and was committed to Prison where he lay some Weeks but was as soon as might be with Mr. Barrett who was afterwards taken at my House released out of Prison by the said Lady Berresford's Kindness who paid down 40 l. for that purpose they having both suffered in her Service And now methinks I have cause to fear my Sins had a hand in stripping me of such a Mercy and O that my heavenly Father would shew me wherefore he thus contends with me It looks in my Apprehension as if the Lord judg'd me and my Family unworthy of such a Blessing as the Gospel is The Lord pardon those Sins that thus provok'd him and give me to understand so dark a Dispensation but in all my Sufferings I still experienced much of the Goodness of God in moderating often the Spirits of Men towards me in raising me up Friends and in restraining some that had very ill Will though without cause against me Well now I soon found Nottingham too hot longer to hold me and my Thoughts went much upon removing but wither I could not tell though a speedy Removal was necessary I being under the Sentence of Excommunication and feared a Writ would be soon taken out And besides I found that there was no way to take off that Sentence which I feared most upon the account of Orphans and others business lodged in my Hands
we have enjoyed most sweet and comfortable Sabbaths mostly by the help of Mr. Coates whom the Lord has made a Blessing to our Family and sometimes other Ministers O the comfortable Seasons of Grace we have here had the refreshing and rousing Sermons we have here heard what full Meetings the Neighbourhood for many Miles round flocking hither have we had Here we had Line upon Line and Precept upon Precept here a Little and there a Little nay here Abundance and there Abundance Here Heaven's Dews dropt about our Tents the Gospel brought into our very House Sanctuary-Blessings were restored us which we had sinned away at Nottingham Here could I through Divine Indulgence keep open House for God none making me afraid O the comfortable Sabbaths Sermons Sacraments Fasts and Family-Duties here enjoyed O the sweet Repasts we had for our precious Souls Now did I begin to make a more strict Scrutiny into the state of my Soul than ever and was now for weighing the Reasons of my choice of Christ in the Ballance of the Sanctuary did sit down and consider with my self what it might cost me to be Religious and whether or no I could be at that Charge Well but did these Halcion Days always last Did my Sun suffer no Eclipse Alas alas we soon sinned away our Comforts and by Sin as soon involv'd our selves into the Depths and Labyrinths of Misery and Trouble An Account of which take from my Diary to this purpose Upon the 15 th of June 1685 being the Day that the first Tidings of the D. of M's Landing in the West came into the Country I had by several Friends one after another Information that the Nottingham Magistrates had intercepted a Letter of mine in which they found a Paper written in Characters and presently cry'd Treason Treason This Paper they presently sent to many Persons in the Town if possibly to get it read but it seems all in vain either they could not or would not read it A very great stir they made about it concluding it was the D. of Monmouth's Declaration and contained a Call to me to appear in Arms for his Assistance These were their idle and ungrounded Conjectures which put them upon threatning me in a most dreadful manner and sending out their Warrants to seize me either at Nottingham or Derby that I might read the Letter as was alledg'd This Paper they never sent me nor could I possibly suddenly know the Contents of it though I did understand it came from my Brother Daniel Disney who was that Term in London I confess this Tidings did somewhat startle me and made me some Days then absent my self from my Habitation as not knowing what Injury my reading the Characters might be to my Brother though I knew it could be none to me whatever it prov'd to be I therefore thought it best to lie incognito till I could understand from my Brother what he had written in those Characters to that purpose I sent my Cousin Watson to London or to Epsom-Spaw 12 Miles further to find him out which Journey he went and came in safety though altogether without success my Brother being newly come down to his own House at Kirkstead contrary to his former Intentions In a Day or two after my Cousin Watson being now return'd to Ollercarre was seiz'd by Souldiers at my House and presently committed Prisoner at Derby who by his most imprudent Answers to those Interrogatories put to him by the Officers did somewhat prejudice Mr. Chauntry a young Minister taken at my House with him and might have done hurt to others by Imprudency had not the Lord's over-ruling Providence prevented The D. of Monmouth's Army now increasing things begun to be in a great Uproar and Confusion many Gentlemen of this County were imprison'd and several of them sent to Westchester a Place far remote from their Habitations and so near the Sea that People were fill'd with sad Apprehensions concerning the further Consequences of such a remote Consinement many Rumours there were that I should be fetch'd in immediately Friends advis'd me to withdraw which at first I did decline as concluding my Innocency would be a sufficient Protection to me but when I saw it did not prove so to others and did consider the Character-Paper the Contents of which I knew not I took their Advice and did abscond about the 30th of June 1685 and I bless God did find most hearty welcome and Entertainment in the several Families the Lord in his Providence did direct me to But no sooner was I gone than the Countries round as well as Derbyshire did ring with Hue-and-Crys after me great Sums of Money now offered for the taking me by those who were as full of Rage and Malice as could be breathing out nothing but Threatnings against me suggesting most wickedly and falsly that I had furnished the Duke with 600 l had entertained him two Months in my House and was certainly gone to him Others as falsly reported that I was taken with his Declarations in my Pocket and a Letter of Thanks from him for my Kindness to him in befriending his Interest At my going away from Ollercarr I first went to Mansfield upon the 29th of June 1685 that Day being their Fair whither as I hear since I was followed by the Sheriff of Nottinghamshire and was very much in danger many I met upon the Road coming from the Fair begg'd of me to have a care of my self for great Inquiry was made after me and search for me A little before that time I being in Chesterfield upon Business with my Landlord Burton which occasioned my stay 3 or 4 Hours and had no sooner taken Horse than as I understood since Officers came to my Inn to seize me Here the watchful Eye of the Lord was upon me for good On Mansfield Fair-day at night Soldiers came to Ollercarr to apprehend me others were making diligent search for me at Nottingham at a great many Houses giving me most reviling Language and threatning me with Death when ever taken and some as was reported said I should never come to a Trial for they would shoot me and tear Bit from Bit where-ever they met me These poor Wretches who I never injur'd but have often served I can heartily pity and pray for and if ever I have opportunity of serving them do hope to let them see that my Religion teaches me to do good to my Enemies and to requite Evil with Good the Lord forgive them they know not what they do About this time I was at Friends Houses not far from home but thought it now convenient for greater safety to remove further and was directed by a Friend who very kindly did accompany me into Leicester-shire Thither we went and as the Lord was pleas'd to order it just in time for presently after I could not have got away there being strict Watches set night and day for me in all or most of the Towns for many Miles round about
her weakness by Asthma and Feaver increasing and prevailing upon her she had some Disturbance by Temptations from Satan that grand Adversary of Souls to question her right to Happiness c. and whether God would accept so vile a Wretch Yet blessed be the Lord through Faith and Prayer and the never-failing Mercies of a Good God she got over all baffled Satan and was filled with unspeakable Joy in the Holy Ghost The Doctor prayed with her and afterward she her self prayed a considerable time distinctly and aloud and for her then Comfort and Support many Passages of Sermons she had heard especially some from Mr. Coates on that Text Come unto me all ye that labour c. came fresh in her Memory which the Lord helped her to improve to the great Comfort and Refreshment of her Soul She was now full of Heavenly Thoughts and from the abundance of her Heart her Mouth was now speaking c. She uttered nothing but what was savoury religious and serious and being spent by great Weakness went triumphantly to Heaven upon the 29th of May 1686. The Doctor told me it was the comfortablest Night that ever he enjoyed in all his Life Here at Leicester worthy Mr. Clarke the Nonconformist waited my coming that he might accompany me to Ollercarr which he did and the Lord made him mighty useful by his Christian advice to me June 3. I got home where I found a most sad and disconsolate Family I that needed others to comfort me was fain to be their Comforter June 5 1686. This Day my Diary manifests that I was grown more calm under the Lord 's mighty Hand and the loss of a Dearest Wife but yet too full of miserable Complaints and quarrelling Thoughts against my Maker the Lord forgive me and compose me for the Duties of the Sabbath following June 6. This Day was a very comfortable Sabbath with reference to my Enjoyments but the want of my Dear Wife occasioned Floods of Tears and violent Passions the Lord pardon my tumultuous Thoughts and in the Multitude of my Thoughts within me let his Comforts more refresh my Spirit June 7. This Day my Dear Wife was Interr'd at Crich where if the Lord please so to order it I desire and intend to lie by her the Lord pardon Sins while I had her and such as I have been most guilty of since I parted with her June 8. This Day through Mercy not much quarrelling with the Lord's Dispensations more calm than I was O that I could be dumb with Silence and not open my Mouth in a fretting and repining way because the Lord has done what 's done unto me the Lord sanctify this sad Breach upon me to my Soul's Good May I remember my Sins that have provoked God and be humbled for them and return to the Lord that smiteth June 9. This Day I find my Heart better fitted and framed to bear this sad Stroke This Day was preach'd by Mr. Coats my Dear Wife's Funeral-Sermon from these words 1 Thess 4. 13. But I would not have you to be ignorant Brethren concerning them which are asleep that ye sorrow not even as others which have no hope Passion in the Sermon I was guilty of when in the Commondatory Part he was shewing what a Wife she was the Lord pardon my unbecoming Carriage to her Several days after I gave account of the Lord 's quieting my Mind under the sad Loss sustain'd June 20. This was a very comfortable Sabbath and the Lord gave me great Delight under the Droppings of the Sanctuary Mr. Coats preach'd from these words Hear the Rod and who hath appointed it O! I would fain make application to my self O that I could hear the Voice of this sad Providence and take out the Lessons of this Rod O that I may carry my self like a Christian under this mighty Hand of God! I have cause to fear I did not improve Last-Summer's Mercies as I ought and God has made this a much more uncomfortable Summer O that as ever I desire the Lord should not go on in this way I may better improve this Dispensation Several Letters I receiv'd from Friends heartily sympathizing with me in my Trouble take the Copies of some of them as follows A Letter from Mr. J. R. dated June 4 1686. Dear Sir BY a Letter I received Yesterday from Mr. Coats I perceive the Letters I sent you in Town on Monday Night were like Job's Messengers one bringing you sad the other sadder News but I hope you receiv'd the News with Job's Temper or mind viz. The Lord gave and the Lord hath taken away blessed be the Name of the Lord and God hath taken away the Delight of your Eyes and removed her out of sight she is in a state of Rest and you must behold her no more among the Inhabitants of the World this must needs be a pressing Affliction to lose so near so dear and so pious a Companion and that which aggravates the Affliction is that she was taken away in your Absence so suddenly and so unexpectedly But Dear Sir though God has crost your Will herein yet I hope a Tumult doth not arise your Passions and Affections are not in an uproar Why shall not God take away his own in his own time way and manner But Sir I am not to teach you God has rarely qualified you with the Graces of his Holy Spirit so that you know how to receive and how to resign a Mercy you know how to add to Faith Patience as you lately heard There is an animal Life of a Soul void of Grace accommodating it self to the Interests of the Flesh to all such things as are grateful to Sense but then there is a Spiritual Life which is a Principle enabling a Soul to bear up when God takes away our greatest Comforts such a Principle there is in you All I have to do is to sympathize with you and to pray that God would afford you more of the Assistances of his Holy Spirit that you may exert that Principle now at this time under this Loss The truth is 't is one of the most lovely Sights in the World to see a Christian acting Faith Patience Humility Submission Resignation c. in times of Affliction this makes the World say that there is something more in Religion than Talk but as I said I am not to teach you You have the teachings of the Spirit which will enable you to improve this Loss to better Gains The Lord sit us all for our last and great Change and in the midst of our private Losses let 's remember the Afflictions of Sion now sitting in the Dust So prays Your Sympathizing Friend and Humble Servant J. R. I hope you will return up again after some Days I think it will be convenient to divert your self with your Friends here some time after you have performed the last Office of Love to your Yoak-Fellow c. A Copy of a Letter from Cos M. S. dated
Sister from Glory would you or any of us have a Heart to invite her from so blissful a State Does not the Spirit of God by several Passages of Scripture seem to say to us as Judas said in another case What needs all this waste Tears are a good Ingredient for Prayer and Repentance let 's not be too prodigal of them in other cases Humanity does allow of some Sorrow but Divinity forbids much Dear Mother refuse not to be comforted receive the Comforts and refuse no longer the Creatures God affords you for the refreshing and supporting Nature Let David I pray be your Pattern in this case he pray'd for his Child while living he fasted he wept For says he who can tell whether God will be gracious to me and the Child may live this I doubt not but you did But when the Will of God was signified in the Death of his Child 2 Sam. 12. 22 23. Now he is dead says he wherefore should I fast can I bring him back again I shall go to him but he shall not return to me O that you could do likewise The Child being dead he wipes his Eyes falls to his Refreshments and submits to God Let not the want of one Mercy we all priz'd deprive us of the Comfort of the many Mercies we do enjoy 12. If we consider who we have lost methinks our Sorrow should be abated One who gave most excellent Demonstrations of a good Heart and a good Condition one I trust ripe for God and fitter for Heaven than Earth one panting for Glory long before she died and had set all in order for Eternity before she was sick she long'd to be dissolv'd that she might be with Christ Methinks I still hear her Ah says she how long O Lord how long when wilt thou come And to By-standers says she I 'm jealous you are conspiring to keep me longer out of Heaven And ah what a Sight did I see in my dear Sister when upon the very wing for Heaven and just ready to take her flight Ah! the heavenly Language she uttered while she did speak which was almost to the last and then when she could not speak the Movings of her Lips the Pantings of her Heart the Liftings of her Eyes and indeed every Motion of her Body spoke her to have strong Workings of Heart after God and to be upon the very Confines of Glory What cause of Mourning now it's our Loss but her Gain She had before a good Husband but now O now the Match between Christ and her Soul is compleated Me-thoughts she held my Father Disney's Hand so fast to the last as if she long'd to take him with her yet by degrees let go as if she had said God has more work for you here and I can freely let my Hold go of best Creature-Comforts as longing to be in my heavenly Father's Embraces I doubt not but to her to live was Christ and to die Gain therefore well might she leave that to be preach'd on at her Funeral and as her last Legacy to surviving Friends Weep not for me but weep for your selves and for your Children The greatest Reason for such Weeping present times seem to prognostick My dear Mother labour for a Christian Carriage under such a Cross God's Rod has a Voice as well as his Word and it 's our great Concernment to hear it and him that has appointed it Let us say Righteous O Lord art thou and in very Faithfulness thou hast afflicted us Let 's not entertain hard Thoughts of God but with Aaron hold our Peace for God has done it Dear Mother you know well that spiritual Comforts are the best Comforts Is not Christ better than ten Daughters than ten Sisters than ten Children Is not his Loving-Kindness better than Life Is there not more in a God than ever was or can be in a Creature We have no reason to sorrow as those without hope She whom we dearly lov'd is gone to her dearly Beloved she 's reaping the Fruits and Benefits of her Labours in the Lord and is blessed For blessed are the Dead that die in the Lord c. Like another Mary she chose the better Part which will never be taken from her She is it 's true taken away in the flower of her Age and when we most expected Satisfaction in such a Relation but God knew it the best time to gather such a Flower Mr. Baxter well observes Such have run long enough who have reach'd the Prize have sail'd long enough who are safely harbour'd and liv'd long enough who are ready to die We have more cause to rejoice that once we did enjoy such a Wife such a Child such a Sister such a Niece such a Friend to give up at God's Call than now to murmur that she is so suddenly remov'd she is I doubt not happy God has preferr'd her to Mansions of Glory before us let us prepare to follow God has call'd home another of your Children but you are not Childless O take heed by Repining Carriage of provoking God to farther Strokes but if God should write you Childless you are not yet bereft of Comfort while the God of all Comfort is yours If God will not let any part of your Happiness lie in Children then let it wholly lie in himself The Love and Delight we plac'd in such a Friend may now be placed to greater Advantage upon Jesus Christ That the Stream of our Affection to him may be so much the stronger as there are fewer Channels for it to divide into is the earnest Prayyer of Your Obedient Son G. D. A Letter to Sister W. upon her Husband's Death Dear Sister MY Wife being indispos'd by a Cold cannot write but you may be assured we are both hearty Sympathizers with you in your sad and solitary Condition The Breach the Lord has been pleas'd to make upon you indeed is great and such as none can express but those that experience it but God having made it who alone can make it up I hope you will endeavour to be satisfied and not to mourn as one without Hope If the Lord will not have any part of your Happiness to lie in a Husband then let it wholly and intirely lie in himself labour to bring your Heart and Mind to a sweet Submission to the Pleasure of your Father And though a Bosom-Friend be not yet God is who is the same yesterday to day and for ever Relations may and must die but God lives who is stiled The Father of the Fatherless and a Husband to the Widow I question not but you can suck much Sweetness from the many gracious Promises made for the Encouragement of such as you The poor Interest I have at the Throne of Grace was improv'd for him and shall be for you That 's best for us that God does and this being God's Doing you must kiss his Rod in Silence and give Glory to the Hand that rules it c. A Letter
prosper that love her I am Madam Your most obliged Friend and humble Servant G. D. A Letter to Mr. Lob at London Jan. 25 83. SIR I Receiv'd your very kind Letter and Christian Lines some time since and had return'd you my Thanks sooner had not extraordinary Business prevented I have cause to bless God for your Acquaintance and for that Christian Society I had with you whilst at London O that I could be as serviceable to you in the best things as you have been to me Poor unworthy Me who needs jogging Heavenwards It 's with us as with others a very dark and gloomy Day but Light is sown for the Righteous who shall reap if they faint not and Gladness for the upright in Heart as the Psalmist speaks O that we could be like the Doves of the Valley mourning after the Lord who seems to be departing from us The Sons of Violence with us act high our Sufferings many but O that none of these things may move us neither may we account our Lives dear to us if call'd to lay them down for the Sake of Christ and his Gospel If the Lord give us but a fixed Heart that we can trust in him we need not then be afraid of the worst times nor the saddest of Tidings but may encourage our selves in the Lord our God under the greatest Discouragements from Men whatsoever Surely the People of God have greatly provok'd God O that we may repent and return to him that smiteth God will certainly arise in the behalf and plead the Cause of his People he will work Deliverance for Sion if not in our time yet in his O that this may satisfy us And that when Foundations seem to be out of course we may with Faith and Patience look up to the Rock of Ages Dear Sir pray for us and for me in particular who need your Prayers that my Faith fail not that I may with Constancy and Courage own the good Ways of God and hold fast my Integrity the very desire of my Soul being to keep close to God I would fain win as many into Heaven's-ways and as much strengthen such Hands as hang down as such an unworthy Wretch as I may What Interest I have at the Throne of Grace I hope shall not fail to be improv'd for the Church of God and for you my dear Friend Being Sir Your hearty well-wishing Friend and Humble Servant G. D. A Letter to Mrs. Sarah Reyner one of my Charge Jan. 85. Dear Mrs. Sarah I Receiv'd yours which though the first receiv'd is not I perceive the first sent for which I thank you and have according to your Desire sent you by paying it to Mr. Charleton's Clerk 50 s. I much wonder your Sister Elizabeth would not vouchsafe me one Line since she left the Country but however do rejoice to hear upon enquiry you both do well as to this World and I would fain hope you will not be negligent in minding the Affairs of a better World nor dare be regardless of your precious and immortal Souls You are both the Children of Religious Parents have been blest with a good Education and many Prayers are I believe lodg'd in Heaven for you so that you cannot miscarry at so cheap a rate as others may who have not had your Advantages for being good O that I could prevail with you to live up to such distinguishing Mercy You have I perceive good Settlements in the World bless God for that But O! are you well setled and interested in Christ Have you made sure of a Treasure in Heaven have you laid hold on eternal Life and secured the everlasting Welfare of your precious Souls Be your worldly Accommodations never so great till this be done your Work is not half done You are in a City of great Advantages I pray attend upon the best most powerful Soul-searching and Conscience-awakening Ministry you can with the Leave of those who are your Superiâ—rs Be thorow-pac'd in the Ways of God dare not to be slighty and indifferent in the Family-Duties I hope you are priviledged withal nor to neglect Closet-Duties as Prayer Reading the Scriptures Self-Examination Meditation and the like at least Morning and Evening Shun and avoid Temptations as much as may be considering the great Corruption and Depravedness of Nature Remember your Creator in the Days of your Youth and having set your Face Heavenward look not back It will be much my Rejoycing to see you and all of you the Off-spring of most pious Relations now with God do well and if my poor Prayers and Endeavours may any ways contribute hereto they are not they have not they shall not through Grace be wanting I being Yours c. G. D. Some Passages of a Letter in answer to my Mother Disney complaining of Decay of her Sight Honoured Mother I Return you my humble Thanks for your welcom Lines and do hope that the uncertainty of my Man's last Journey to Lincoln will excuse my then Silence It troubles me much to hear of your Eyes Decaying and Dimming which as you please to observe is one Effect of old Age It 's great Mercy the Lord has given you the use of them so long but far greater that he has given you a Heart to use them to his Glory and your own and others Benefit and Advantage I fear your too much Reading in the Day-time and at all by Candle-light has and does that way prove prejudicial to you I would therefore humbly beg you to favour them as much as may be and this am consident of would you please to take up your Abode with us there 's no Eyes in my Family but would chearfully and readily be at your Service to excuse and preserve your own which I trust the Lord will yet continue to you My good Aunt Thornton I am perswaded will not be against my improving this Argument for the Enjoyment of your good Companies here most desirable to us My Eyes I can perceive are not so strong as they have been O that as our bodily Eyes dim and decay the Eye of Faith may grow more clear for certainly a Look within the Vail must be most refreshing and supporting to a gracious Soul and a renewed Mind Those indeed that see best in our Days with bodily Eyes see en'e little or nothing but what has a sad and frightful Aspect and may occasion Matter of sad Thoughts but by Faith we may look into an unseen World take a View of unseen Comforts and live upon unseen Riches and Happiness which are the most pleasant things the most certain and the most lasting The worst in this World need not nay cannot dismay us Whilst we look not at the things which are seen but at the things which are not seen for the things which are seen are temporal but the things which are not seen are eternal 2 Cor. 4. 18 c. A Letter to Mr. Whitaker Jan. 24 1683. SIR THis Day I receiv'd yours till
wherein is Rending and Tearing Work with more of himself and the Influences of his Blessed Spirit O Brother it's one of the bravest Sights in the World to see a Christian in the Exercise of Grace sutable to the Dispensation to see him acting Faith Patience Humility Submission Resignation and Divine Joy in a time of pressing Affliction This will recommend Religion to the World and convince the Men of it there 's more in it than meer Talk Heartily glad we should be if you would come for a while to London to divert your self here among good Men I hope it might be for your Advantage and do conclude it highly necessary for you a while to leave Kirkstead we all send our hearty Remembrances to you and yours the Lord fit us all for our great and last Change and in the midst of our private Losses let us remember the Affliction of Sion So prays Your sympathizing Brother and Servant G. Disney POEMS The Damneds Doom or some Meditations in Verse upon the last great Sentence at the Day of Judgment made by me Jan. 1685 upon Mr. Dunton's Paraphrase of Mat. 25. 41. Depart from me ye Cursed into everlasting Fire prepared for the Devil and his Angels Dunton's Heavenly Past-time pag. 96. HEark heark the Trumpet sounds the Court is met Christ as Chief Justice on the Bench is set Adorn'd with glorious Robes and rich Attire Not now abas'd on Earth advanced higher Guarded by Saints and Angels such as they Must all attend the Service of this Day He who when Prisoner here was forc'd to stand And at a Mortal's Bar hold up his Hand Was mock'd at spit upon reproach'd and bled Must now be Judg alone of Quick and Dead Thô here debased yet now Heaven rings With Hallelujahs to this King of Kings Jesus Call forth the Prisoners then they must appear To answer for themselves thô Crimes are clear Hear what they 'l say thô all they say alas Can never â—inder th' Sentence that must pass Sinners appear come forth your Graves arise You all are summon'd to the grand Assize You called are into the great Court-Royal And may not stay you must attend your Trial Make way for wretched Prisoners there make room They 'r going to receive their final Doom But now methinks I see those trembling Souls Gazing about to find some hiding Holes Calling to Rocks to hide them but in vain For such late Calls and Cries can nought obtain Their Hearts were hardned in a Day of Grace When God did sweetly call and give them space For to repent and now those rocky Stones Has no regard at all unto their Groans The Mountains will not fall to hide them from The Wrath of him that sitteth on the Throne O what a Sight I see the wretched State Of Fools bewailing Folly when too late From Hell and Graves they come but must not stay They are to pass Accounts and so away Now Soul and Body meets and must remain By Righteous Sentence in eternal Paâ—â— They Partners were in Sin whilst here below And must together groan in endless Wâ— The Graves do open and the Prisoners rise And now methinks I hear the dolâ—ful Cries Of those poor Sinners who on Earth took Pains To make their Souls as black and full of Stains As any could be grudging always when They were out-stripâ— in Sin by any Men Methinks I hear their Pleas and see them quaking And all the little Shifts they would be making And all because they would appear at th' Bar Of God a little better than they are The griping Vsurer now looks about To find some better Hands than his Hands 〈◊〉 Which he do's well remember heretofore Did often by Extortion wrong the Poor The Wanton dare not own his wanton Eye I must says he have better or I die Mine oft unâ—hastly upon Women gaz'd And for laseivious Looks I stand amaz'd The Lawyer would reject his gâ—lded Tongue By which be Thousands in the World did wrong He knows that he being fee'd or brib'd ne're stood To make a good Cause bad a bad Cause good The Gallant dare not own his strutting Feet Which often â—rudg'd thrâ— thick and thin to meet A dirty Whore or hectoring drunken Friend To help him vainly precious Time to spend My Feet were swift in running to do Evil I must have other Feet or go to th' Devil The Politician dares not own his Head Another he would fain have in its Stead What that contriv'd he always was pursuing And finds his wicked Brain was his undoing Some they would part with Fingers and would have E'ne any Fingers out of any 's Grave So they may miss their own which was too beâ—â— To sign Decrees against the Innocent Thieves they would part with Hands and Liars Tongues The Instruments of many grievous Wrongs Long-winded Sinners they would part with Lungs The Hypocrite too has a mind to part With his to change it for a better Heart Ill-minded Sinners now would change their Mind For any others of a better Kind And others other things would swap if then They might hereby but pass for better Men Kings would disown their Crowns and Grandure too And now appear in Rags if that woâ—ld do But O! prodigious Madness herein's shown Eâ—r every one must keep what was his own And wicked Men must see their monstrouâ— Folly Who would not whilst on Earth be strict and holy Well! are the Prisoners come then let them hear They must my Wrath and Fury ever bear Sentence Depart 〈◊〉 sed Wretches ne're return Into a Fire that must always burn Prepared for the Devil and a Crew Of wicked Wretches just like such as you Prisoner Ah dreadful Word Depart and that from thee Must needs be th' upshot of all Misery Lord let me stay but here the Sinner â—ries My clamorous Conscience and my blubbring Eyes May Tormoâ—â— be enough dear God abate Some pity shew me for my â—retch'd Estate Is such I cannot bear let Sentence be A little bated by a Sight of thee Judg. Nay Sinner â—noâ— my Presence heretofore Thou did'st noâ— like thô offer'd o're and o're Thou would not entertain me in thy Heart And now my Sentence Sinner â—â— Depart An offered Christ and Pardon thou didst slight And what can follow on 't but dismal Night Prisoner And must I now depart and undergo This dreadful heaâ—y Doom yet let me know That thoâ—â—ilâ— bless me Lord and then I caâ— Refresh my Soul with this where â—'re I am I 'm loth to go but if I must I crave That I before may Heaven's Blessing have Jesus Sinner be gone nay more I must thee tell My Curse shall go along with thee to Hell My Blessing thou despis'd for many Years And canst not have it now thô sought with Tears Thou must for ever fry and flame and rot Depart then Sinner for I know thee not Prisoner And must I be accurs'd and never see Thy blessed Face again then Lord let me Find out for an