never tir'd with Novelties his Hands with scraping up Riches his Tongue with uttering Vanities nor his Heart with desiring Superfluities You ask me What a Man is neither able to Conceal nor Dissemble I Answer Love Grief Riches and Ill-will For Love is discover'd by Sighs Grief bursts out in Complaints Riches appear in the Countenance and Hatred shows its self in the Eyes You ask me Sir what may easily be lost and yet can never be Recover'd I Answer Four things Virginity Time a Stone cast and a Word spoken You ask me What a Man has most reason to value himself upon I Answer Being a good Christian sincere in his Actions Patiént in his Sufferings and Secret in his Intentions You ask me Who are those that most readily get Friends and most easily lose ' em I Answer Rich Men Young Men Powerful People and Favourites For How soon do the Rich grow Contemptible when Poor the Youth when Old the Potent Person when he loses his Power and Courtier when his Prince withdraws his Favour You ask How many are the qualities requir'd in a Servant I Answer Four To be Diligent Patient Faithful and True For he that is willing to learn what he knows not can suffer when Rebuk'd discharges his Trust honestly and makes use of no falsity Let a Master make much of such a Servant and that Servant never doubt Preferment You ask me What the more a Woman desires the less she is contented I Answer fine Cloaths Beauty Freedom and Credit For above all things she loves to be well drest Esteems her self Handsom Longs to go where she Lists and would have every Body believe what she says You ask Sir What a Man must have regard to before he parts with a Benefit I Answer to the Thing Person Reason and Time For he must consider the thing that he may not be Niggardly The Person that he may Relieve or Refuse according to Merit The Reason that he may Exercise his Charity and the time that he may not be tardy in Necessity You Ask me What are the best Qualities in a Prince I Answer Four Courage to Suffer Generosity to Give Justice to Reward and Clemency to Pardon All other Imperfections are the easier born with where there can be found in him Mercy Justice Liberality and Patience You Ask me What a Gentleman ought most to avoid and which soonest brands him I Answer Covetousness Cowardise Lies and Injustice You Ask me likewise What Properties a Virgin must have to get a good Repute I Answer Four To be Handsom Honest an Enemy to Liberty and Despiser of Bawds Thus Sir are all your Demands Answer'd and where I have not happen'd to come up to your Expectations I hope you 'l at least Accept of my Endeavours No more but God keep you and give me Grace to Serve him Valencia Oct. 11. 1528. LETTER XIX To the Governor Don Lewis Bravo occasioned by his falling in Love in his old Age being a familiar Satyr on such fruitless attempts as likewise a serious warning to all Old Men not to go beyond their strength Noble but Inconsiderate Sir TO Stile you Noble or right Noble Virtuous or right Virtuous Magnificent or very Magnificent were doing you a palpable wrong without the least Honour since at the Age you are of joyn'd with the Life you lead there appears neither Nobility in your Person nor Modesty in your Manners The Letter you sent plainly shows it was product of your own Brain and work of your own Hand since it is thereby demonstrable how little account you make of Honour and at the same time how void you are of Shame If you did not deceive me and your Brother spoke truth you wanted then but two Months of Sixty three allowing first-Fruits to the Bishop of Cordoua and all the Tithes to the Parson of your Parish It were but reasonable therefore to expect at so great Age you should at length have recover'd your Wits and come to your self But such is the obstinacy of hardned sinners they still run on to the end of their Lives before they think of mending I am oblig'd to say this Sir tho ' not so much troubled at what you write as that you give me cause to answer it after an ungrateful manner for since you treat of a subject so Mal a propos I may well think my self at liberty to answer with severity To come to the point then I must tell you it seems to me a meer jest that being a Christian Divine Preacher Priest Religious Person and even the strictest of St. Francis's Order you should now talk to me of Love and even enroll me among the Gallants For where I grant it my duty to hear your confession I do not think my self at all oblig'd to guide you in your Amours You writ me one particular you ought have been asham'd to propose since I cannot but blush to answer it and that is that at Seventy Years of Age you are now fallen deeply in Love and moreover would needs have me to send you a Love-Letter for your Mistress as well to perswade her to yield to your desires as to suspend her Duty to God for a while Sir in the mean time since I am not acquainted with your Mistress nor so much as know who she is I should be very glad if you would communicate to her this Letter which being carefully read and rightly understood I need not doubt being reveng'd on your imprudence your being inform'd of your folly and she convinc'd of your madness But lest I be thought all this while in Jest it is high time my Pen should freely tell you my thâ—ughts on the whole matter At your Age it is great falshood to say you Love since you cannot so properly now be term'd Amorous as decrepit a Gallant as Leacher Pleasing as Doating At your Age you should rather observe theNine-a-Clock Bell to go to Bed than four-a-Clock Chimes i' th' Morning to go home at At your Age perhaps you may Love but it is ridiculous to say you are belov'd since the wretch you Court gives not ear to you for the sake of your Person but is wholly enamour'd on your Fortune At your Age all you can say becomâ—s a Jest for where Women entertain Young Men for Pleasure they only give old ones the hearing to laugh at At your Age you are unfit to write Songs Serenade climb Walls make a figure in the Streets or quarrel in the Dark and yet Vain and Conceited Women will not only think to be Courted and well paid in private but also expect to be Gallanted and Defended in Publick At your Age it is not proper to wear thin Shoes a Hat high-cock'd a streight Coat large Steenkirk and your Mistresses Favours and yet these sort of Animals will not barely require a Man should write wit but also be veâ—y Beauish in his Dress At your Age it is impossible to endure the continual Importunities of asking and everlasting
SPANISH LETTERS Historical Satyrical and Moral Of the FAMOUS Don Antonio de Guevara BISHOP of Mondonedo Chief Minister of State and Historiographer Royal to the Emperor Charles V. Written by way of Essay on different Subjects and every where intermixt with both Raillerie and Gallantry Recommended by Sir Roger L'Estrange and made English from the best Original by Mr. Savage Menos fuera LONDON Printed for A. Roper at the Black-Boy over-against St. Dunstans Church in Fleetstreet and F. Saunders in the New-Exchange in the Straâ—d TO The Right Honourable ARNOLD Earl of Albemarle Viscount Bury Baron of Ashford in England and Baron Keppel in Holland Master of His Majesty's Robes c. My LORD PRoductions of the Brain like the Noble Fruit of the Vine have always had the Fortune to be Coveted and Desir'd Yet how Rich and Generous soever the Crop the Stock it Sprang from could never have arriv'd at sufficient Strength to sustain its own Weight and Erect it self had not Art found out Means to supply its Wants of Nature by reclining it on and propping it up with Trunks of abler Plants So likewise the Generosity of the Great in all Ages has afforded comfortable Support to the Humble Self-dejected Writer without which he must have continued a poor Groveling Reptile expos'd to the Insults and Tramplings of Ignorance and Barbarity My LORD 'T is the Sense of this Necessity has so often given Persons of highest Rank and Merit the Trouble of this Nature and whiâ—h I must needs own has wholly directed me in this Address Your Lordship could not reasonably expect to lie hid after having been so Publickly and Honourably Pointed out and Distinguish'd even by the Wisest as well as Bravest Prince that ever fill'd our Throne Nor that the Muses should any longer forbear giving publick Testimony of their Satisfaction in the Advancement of Virtue and Merit Permit me therefore My Lord to Congratulate both you and the Nation in the Happy Choice of our most Auspicious Sovereign who has singled you out for a Title which receives as much Lustre from your Person as your Lordship derives from it The World may Envy but can never Blame me for this early Endeavour to Plant my self in so Rich a Soil as your Lordship's Favour where I may enjoy the Warmth of the Reflected Beam's of that Sun whose happy Influence not only ours but even the greater Part of the European World Rejoyce and Flourish under It was the Happiness of our Learned Author whose Version is humbly offered to your Lordship to be Favourite and Chief Minister to the greatest Heroe as well as Prince of his Time and in that Right My Lord he seems very naturally to have a Claim to your Lordship's Protection in whose Power it is to Introduce him to a Greater Heroe than any that Age could boast of A Prince whose happy Influence makes Virtue spring so fast at home and whose Prudence takes care to transplant Merit so from abroad that like the most curious Plants both Honour and Illustrate our Island Among these your Lordship must needs be acknowledged the First and Most Deserving even by those who envy your Fortune whilst the Impartial of which I am proud to profess my self one with Ioy Applaud and wish a long Continuance of it I am My LORD Your Lordship 's most Humbly Obedient And Faithfully Devoted Servant IOHN SAVAGE CORRIGENDA IN the greatest part of the Impression Page 1. Messeur for Messer p. 13. l. 22. Reber for Remember p. 14. near the bottom Antarxerxes for Artaxerxes p. 47. l. ult alwasy for always p. 131. l. 30. of left out p. 139. l. 15. consulted left out c. which the Intelligent Reader may easily reconcile there being 't is hop'd but few remaining Spanish Letters LETTER I. To Messer Perepollastre an Italian the Author's Friend in which he proves how ridiculous a thing it is for a Man to be Powder'd and Perfum'd Suspicious SIR but my very good Friend IN the time of Quintus Fabius then Master of the Knights Two Noble Romans fought upon a set Challenge and the one having cut off the others Arm the Conqueror thus spoke to the Vanquish'd Unsay what you have hitherto Pretended and Retract what you have impos'd upon me or my cruel Sword shall silence your Unlucky Tongue To which the Wounded Person immediately Replied You speak rather like my Mortal Enemy than a Roman Knight since you think I have not a greater Regard to my Honour than my Life for tho my Arm fail me to fight yet my Heart still encourages me to die in Vindication of a good Name I have brought this ancient Example Sir as a Paralel to put you in mind of what I am almost asham'd to Express That you Swore and Forswore your self about a Perfum'd Wash-ball which you thought you had left in my Chamber and which you would needs have me either to have stolen or to have conceal'd or protected the Thief And here you did not content your self with telling me the same thing over and over but were also pleas'd to write me a Scandalous Letter endicted I suppose by your Judgment as it was sign'd by your own Hand The Contents whereof were as full of unjust Reproaches as they were void of Breeding and good Manners Several Friends of yours as also Neighbours of mine have frequently inform'd me you went Murmuring and Complaining to every Body about the Black Wash-ball affirming that in my Chamber you left it and in my Trust you lost it so that by your Letter you Challenge me and by your Tongue Reproach me But with the aforesaid Roman I must tell you you neither speak like a Friend nor treat me like a Christian since you have a greater regard to a trifling Wash-ball than my Honour Sir upon this Occasion I have neither determin'd to take notice of your Reproaches nor to Answer your Letter with Heat for I value my self much more upon the Habit I wear than the Unspotted Race from whence I descend because I am well assur'd at the general day of Account it will not be so much Enquir'd into whether I behav'd my self like a Gentleman as if I liv'd like a Christian. The Arms that I do or would always fight with are these viz. The Headpiece of Patience Shield of Hope Sword of Abstinence Gauntlets of Charity and Breastplate of Humility with which I dare die and without which I will never live But still providing in this Case I am unwilling to revenge the Affront offer'd me yet it is not just you exclude me from giving my Opinion of it which I intend to do here with all the Candour imaginable and the least or no Reflection Whatever Men do rashly or unadvisedly in this Bad World proceeds from small Prudence and a superfluous Hope for Passionate People ought rather to encline to what Reason persuades than what Anger advises Seneca in his first Book De Ira says that 't is almost needless to give Councel
confirm'd the Bitch bites full as hard as the Dog Further as to Perfumes Suetonius in his Tenth Book of the Caesars tells you that Vespatian being about to confirm a benefit to one of his Courtiers and smelling a very sweet scent about him he immediately threw away his Pen and tore his Paper and with an angry Countenance thus Reprimanded him I Recall my Grant and get thee out of my Presence for by the Immortal Gods I had rather thou shouldst smell of Onyons and Garlick than of those Effeminate Unguents Plucius a Roman Lord when proscrib'd by the Triumvirate was found out in the Salernian Caves not by his Footsteps but the Train of Odours he left behind him so that having otherwise clearly escap'd his Enemies he was meerly betray'd by his Scents Hanibal the Carthaginian having been in his youth a Prince of great Courage and Conduct yet in his old Age the Ladies of Capua and Unguents of Asia weakned him so in Body and so enervated the vigour of his Mind that from thence forward he was neither able to gain a Town nor get a Battle Aulus Gellius relates that the Roman Senate being in debate what Captain to send against Pannonoa and the Vote coming to Cato the Censor he said Of the Two you propose I am against my young Kinsman Pulius because I never yet saw him come wounded from the Wars but have often seen him go smelling to a Perfum'd Handkerchief about the City Fourteen years were the Romans besieging the Great Numantia in Spain and never could take it till at length Scipio came afresh and sent great Bribes into the City to employ their Gluttony busie their Whores and burn Perfumes and then they took it in a trice and destroy'd it as quickly Licurgus in his Laws commanded the Lacedemonians under severe Penalties neither to buy or sell Perfumes of Precious Ointments except for Offerings in their Temples or Physick for their Sick From these and many more Examples might be brought it appears that Men have always been forbid Odours and Scents for speaking truth there is but little Pleasure got by 'em when on the contrary a great deal of Reputation to be lost And I must tell you moreover this is a very costly Vice for it not only occasions pains in the Head but also a Vacuum in the Purse What causes me a great deal of Mirth sometimes I might better say Disquiet is to see many vain fluttering young Fellows buy Perfum'd Gloves of 10 Ducats a Pair for their Mistresses yet have not the Heart to give a Crape Gown to a Sister or Poor Relation Whence it comes to pass that in a Mad Man's House Fancy rules the Roast whilst Reason turns the Spit If Men would be Advis'd by me I would take care they should smell well without Sweets for nothing under the Heavens has a more Odoriferous Savour than a clear and Unblemish'd Name Let me conclude therefore with this Truth That a good Christian is the Sweet Ointment a good Conscience the rich Amber and a good Life the choicest Wash-ball which I 'll assure you I would only steal or carry about me No more but that God Bless you and give me Grace to serve Him Vâ—lladolid Decemb. 6. 1520. LETTER II. To Doctor Melgar a Physician in which are handled the Good and Harm occasioned by his Profession together with the Progress and several Interruptions of that Art as also the Author's Thoughts of it from its first Original Honour'd Doctor and Imperial Physician YOurs I Receiv'd together with the Recipe enclos'd and you may hereby satisfie your self or be inform'd by your Boy that I have dispatch'd your business with the President according to desire So that as you have dealt by me like a Physician I have treated you as a Friend Now which of us has done better you in Physicking me or I in Soliciting your Assair all good Men may judge for I 'll assure you at the very same time I got your Order Signed I was very sensibly Afflicted with the Gout Sir I procur'd the Herbs and Roots and bruiz'd and drank 'em according to Order but better regard may God have to your Soul than they brought relief to my pains for they not only fir'd my Liver but also benum'd my Stomach And I must tell you plainly in this Distemper you have been so far from performing a Cure that you have done me a great deal of injury and every time the Cold of my Stomach obâ—iges me to Beâ—ch I presently resolve never to have any more to do with Doctor Melgar since he couâ—d noâ— distinguish a Malady above from one below for I did not desire you to purge the Humours but rid me of my Pains not being able to Guess why you should Punish my Stomach when all the Pain lay in my great Toe I once consulted Doctor Soto about a Sciatica in my Hip and he prescrib'd a Blister on my Ears but which only occasion'd all the Court to laugh and my poor Souses to suffer Another time I had recourse to Doctor Carthagena in Alcala about the same Distemper and he order'd me Cow-turds Rats-dung Nettle-leaves Rose-buds and fri'd Scorpions to make a Plaister and apply to the part afflicted but all the good I got was that it did not suffer me to sleep one wink in Three Nights and yet I paid the Apothecary above Six Reals for making it Whereupon for the future I utterly renounce any Man's Friendship that shall advise me to the Aphorisms of Hypocrates Maxims of Avicenna Experiments of Ficinus Treatises of Racis and Recipes of Erophilus providing in any of their Writings there be the least mention made of this Cursed Plaister which as it suffer'd me not to sleep or be at rest so I not only tore it off immediately but also instantly buried it for as on the the one hand it burnt me on the other it almost struck me down with its stench I remember in Burgos about 20 years since Doctor Soto cur'd me of an intermitting Feaver but withal made me eat so much Sellery and Barley and drink so great quantity of Endive Water that for a time I was quite depriv'd of the use of my Pallat nay more could scarce smell Some few Years afterwards happening to visit the same Doctor when sick at Tordesillas I observ'd he Eat an Orange and Drank a cup of good Canary at the very time his hot fit came upon him which I not only wondered but was very much offended at since he treated me after another-guess manner Whereupon forcing a smile I thus accosted him Tell me I beseech you good Doctor What is the reason you Cure your self of your Feaver with Wine of St. Martin and me of mine by Endive Water To which he readily replied with a great deal of Assurance You must know Mr. Guevara our great Master Hypocrates under penalty of his displeasure Commanded us his Successors to recover our own healths with the Iuice of the Grape when he
to be reclaim'd by Hellebore than a Jest. No more but God keep you and give me Grace to serve Him Burgos Febr. 8. 1524. LETTER IV. To the Magistrate Nunnio Tellio concerning the Qualifications of a True Friend Honour'd SIR tho Unadvis'd Young Man HAving read your Letter over and over I found in it many things worthy to be Answer'd and more to be blam'd for considering what you write and how you write it is impossible but you should weary your Pen and tire out your Reason You ought not only to have regard what but to whom you Address your self for Men of Quality and Slaves are not to be accosted after the same manner too much haste and negligence for the most part savouring of Disrespect Take it for granted Sir the Reader 's Authority is very much lessen'd by the Writers Assurance and therefore I would advise you for the future to sit down and consider what you are to say and how you shall express it before you begin your Letter for an Absurdity if it be folly to speak it will be much greater to write it Never begin any Letter of importance till you have first made a rough Draught of your Design for otherwise you will write what will certainly be laughed at and request what will as surely be rejected Sir you say you desire me for your Lord yet have chosen me for your Friend but I must tell you there is so great difference between these two Offices that were you sensible of it you would neither ask the one nor think of the other at the same time for where a Friend is engag'd at liberty a Lord is taken thro necessity a Friend serves a Lord requires Service a Friend gives a Lord takes a Friend endures a Lord blusters a Friend is silent where a Lord condemns and lastly a Friend Pardons when a Lord Revenges So that this being true I hold it impossible they should ever agree together you to be my Vassal and I to be your Friend In making me your Lord you must serve follow obey and fear me all which are both prejudicial to Liberty and Enemies of Repose so that you must often feel disquiet and likewise cause me some trouble It may also happen where I command you as a Lord you may think to obey me as a Friend and so believe your self justified where I am disappointed and wrong'd To ask me likewise to be your Friend is to require the greatest Slavery imaginable for I am thereby oblig'd to be yours all my life lâ—ng for true Friendship cannot be such where the Person belov'd does not continue the same with the Lover Friends are to be so absolutely united that they are to have but one Tongue to talk with the same Feet to waâ—k with and but one Heart to produce inseparaâ—le Affections in a manner that one Lise supports and one Death ends ' em It is very strange for one Friend to tell another He won't do such a thing or he cannot when the Laws of true Friendship oblige him to give all he has and do all he can In a Friends House ought neither to be Weights nor Measures Bonds nor Bills Property nor Thievry for there we may enter without knocking and take without asking He ties himself up very strictly that enters the Lists of Friendship for in such Case he has neither power to denâ— nor leave to excuse I cannot take him for my Friend or even a good Neighbour that when he gives does it by Weight and Measure and sometimes when I ask refuses me for where is the reason that he should not partake of my Wants who is the only Object of my best Wishes Seneca in his Book De Ira says A Wise Man ought to have but one Friend and likewise must take care he have no Enemies Which was well advis'd since Enemies are dangerous and too many Friends troublesome for the Rules of Friendship are so very nice that where many pretend few are able to perform ' em A True Friend's Motto is that He would sooner suffer for our Honour than be reliev'd by our Fault The Philosopher Mimus said He had a greater regard to the Love in his Friends Heels than Grief in his own Heart Also true Friends are oblig'd to have the same sense of anothers Misfortunes as they have of their own and at the same time are not only to be sensible but also assisting in a Remedy for otherwise where they accept their Tears they will have reason to complain of their Stinginess or Neglect The Philosopher Eschines being ask'd What was the greatest trouble of this Life answer'd To lose what one Wins and part from what one Likes Which was happily spoken for in the one a Man loses his pains and in the other his pleasure It is another priviledge of Friendship that we resent a Wrong done to a Friend in the same degree as to our selves for no sooner can he be afflicted than we are to be disquieted We ought to make choice of such as are Discreet to Advise and Powerful to Defend for if they want Discretion we shall need Councel in â—rosperity and if Power Relief in Adversity so that even amidst our Pleasures we may as well be lost as in our greatest Troubles ruin'd Great occasion has every Man for a true Friend who may assist when present and defend him when absent insomuch that he that has met with such a one may well boast himself possess'd of the greatest Treasure upon Earth for he is to Relieve him with his Estate Councel him with his Prudence Defend him by his Power and Correct him when he does amiss so that it is both his Duty and our Happiness to keep us from falling when staggering as to lift us up when down It is also requir'd in a true Friend to be both Discreet and Secret for if he be a Fool he is not to be endur'd and if a Babler may soon ruin us Our Estate Person Conscience or Life may be entrusted with a Relation Acquaintance or Neighbour but our Secrets must only be confided to a Friend It also comes under the Rules of Friendship not only to conceal all one hears but also to be silent of all one sees For Men have ever valued themselves upon holding their peace when they generally repent of too much talking Never must one Friend flatter another for the more we love the more we are oblig'd to Favour Defend Counsel and Correct Also never reproach for Benefits done but be satisfied with our bare trouble for a Reward for the Heart is never more at ease than when it has discharg'd it self honourably to a Friend Also in a dangerous Distemper we must not always expect a Friend should ask our assistance for oftentimes he may grieve long before he cares to complain Virtue has sometimes Friends and Prosperity is never without 'em but be they what they will they are both known in Adversity for where the better sort follow Virtue
I must inform you what my Steward the other day told me that from October to April I had spent above 140 Ducats in Wood and Coal and the reason was because this City of Medina is rich in Holidays but poor Woods in a manner that here our Fires almost stand us in as much as our Feasts There are other things to be had at a much easier rate such as dreadful Lies ridiculous News Debauch'd Women Feign'd Friendship continual Envy Ungenerous Malice Vain Words and false Hopes all which we have in so great Plenty that we might even set up a Fair on their single account You likewise ask whether Matters are easily dispatch'd at Court you having occasion to sollicit something I answer that in regard all things here are either Weighty Irksom Prolix Costly Intricate Unfortunate Hunted after Wish'd for Lamented or Disorder'd Of Ten you shall get well dispatch'd you shall find above Ninety nine succeed otherwise Then you would know if our Fair be extraordinary Why in good Faith as I am a Courtier and deeply engag'd in Law I have neither Merchandize to sell nor any Money to buy and therefore where I cannot commend I find no occasion to blame But however I sometimes walk a turn or two among the Shops and observe so many rich things that as I have a kind of pleasure in the bare sight so I must needs own I have no ordinary uneasiness in not being able to purchase ' em The Empress was pleas'd the other day to honour it with her presence but as a most wise Princess would carry not so much as one of her Ladies along with her well knowing their Sparks to be so very poor and Inclinations so fervent that where it might be proper to aâ—k a Fairing they would infallibly be oblig'd to pay for it themselves You next enquire whether the Court be healthy or not Why truly as to Corporal Infirmities we are pretty well in health except the Licentiate Alarzon only who talking the other day earnestly in Councel dropt down dead of a sudden whose death tho it frighted all yet reform'd none But as to Spiritual Maladies we have good store such as Anger Envy Lust Malice Pride Covetousness Gluttony Villany Perjury and what not all which are not only damage to the Body but also pernicious to the precious Soul I have often had recourse to your Letter to consider whether I had answer'd it fully or not and find there is nothing left but to tell you it seem'd to me rather a parcel of Interrogatories to Examine Witnesses than an Epistle sent to a Friend I have nothing more to add but that I am very weary and quite tired out and that not with Answering but Construing your confounded Letter God keep you and give me Grace to serve Him Medina del Campâ— Iune 5. 1532. LETTER VIII To the Duke of Alva Of Sickness and its Benefits Most Illustrious and highly esteem'd Sir AT the time Palomeque your Servant came to visit me and brought your Grace's Letter I was seiz'd with so violent a Feaver that I had neither power to Read nor so much as Inclination to speak a word But afterwards my fit a little abating I had more leisure to Peruse and was exceedingly Obliged by your Grace's kind Wishes for my Health and Concern for my Misfortune Believe me Sir whilst my Feaver was on me I had much greater desire to Drink than Read for I 'll assure you I would then have given all my Library for but a glass of Cold Water By yours I understand your Grace has also been ill and that you are therewithal very well satisfi'd both because happily recover'd as also for the future resolv'd to keep even with your Sins and abstain from all manner of Excess For my part my Lord I am extreamly sorry for your Sickness as I am exceedingly pleas'd with your Pious Resolutions althô it be true I should be much more contented to see you fulfil than hear you Promise for where Sick People always abound with Vows and Wishes Paradise admits only of good Works But however in my opinion there is nothing shews a Wise Man more than to behave himself well in Adversity and to benefit by his Infirmity As there is no greater Madness than to Misemploy one's health so there is no Wisdom exceeds his that is the better for his Illness for as the Apostle said Cum infirmor tunc fortior sum The Weaker I am the Wiser I grow The Prudent Sick Person being neither swell'd by Pride nor Combated by Luxury assaulted by Avarice nor Molested by Envy rais'd by Anger nor Abased by Sloth nor in a Word is he ever troubled with points of Honour or any such Fooleries Would to God My Lord Duke we could become when well what we promise to be while Sick All the concern of a bad Christian when ill is to get soon well not that he may repent but rather Sin on and take a farther glut of the World when the chief desire of a good Man is to recover his health only that he may have more time to amend his Life In time of Sickness we are neither sensible of Kindness or ill-will either of Friends or Enemies mind neither Riches nor Poverty Honour nor Dishonour Delights nor Disgusts Commanding nor Obeying heaping up Wealth nor losing it Nay in fine would be willing to part with whatever we had been getting all our Lives time to be but rid of a single pain in the Head When ill we cannot have the least relish of Pleasure and when well the greatest fatigue is tolerable What can he be said to want that has his health or he to enjoy that stands in need of it What does it signifie to have a Down Bed if we cannot take a wink of Sleep on it Or the best Wine if our Physicians forbids us the tast of it What does it avail to have many Dishes set on our Table if the bare sight offends us or our Chests full of Gold if the greatest part must be spent upon Doctors and Apothecaries Health is so great a Treasure that we must not only watch diligently over it but pray continually for it which nevertheless is commonly neglected since we find that Blessing is seldom sufficiently known till lost Plutarch Nigidius Aristonius Dioscorus Plotinus Nicephalus and others have writ many Tracts and Discourses how to restore and preserve health Yet I am of opinion where they have once happen'd to be in the right they have a hundred times rel'yd barely upon Fancies and Conjectures which generally prove ineffectual Believe me my Lord Duke in what I am going to affirm by Experience that the best and surest means to Establish Health and abate most Maladies is to avoid Discontent and eat but verysparingly How exceedingly advantagious must it needs be both for our Souls and Bodies to live without Epicurizing or Melancholizing for excess in Eating corrupts the Humours and too much trouble Enervates the Mind If
Wrath answer'd Only he who valued not losing his Friends nor creating new Enemies After what so many and grave Philsophers have left upon this Subject I can only add That it is easie to write of no way difficult to persuade copious to preach upon fit to advise upon but extreamly hard to curb We may reasonably exclaim against Vice in general but much more may be said upon Anger for that does not only deprive us of our Reason but also renders us odious to all the World To moderate Anger is a great Virtue but to lay it quite aside is much more safe because it is easier to resist what is evil than totally to cast it off At first we have power to admit or reject many hurtful things but having once admitted 'em if Reason stands not our Friend they will undoubtedly keep their ground and plead possession Anger is of that perverse temper that wherever we have once resign'd our will it afterwards enforces us to what we would not We blame not those who have the administration of Government so much for being slack or severe as shewing too much Passion in their Proceedings for tho they have Authority to Punish yet they have no Liberty to express their Anger It is but reasonable those who transgress should be chastis'd but still the Penalty must not look like revenge for be a Man never so brutish he is ever more sensible of Malice shew'd him than of the greatest Punishment can be inflicted on him A Lash or Blow of a Hand or Cudgel which all light upon the Flesh tho they smart yet soon wear off but an abusive Word immediately sinks into the Heart and is scarce ever forgot To have a power of bridling ones Anger is not a Human but Heroic and Divine Virtue for certainly no Victory is so great as that which a Man obtains over himself Socrates the Philosopher having lifted up his Hand to strike a Servant held it in that posture and cry'd Because I consider I am a Philosopher and am now angry I do not punish thee as thou deservest An Example worthy to be remembred and much more to be imitated and from whence we may infer that whilst Anger is predominant we must not offer to speak much less chastise The Law-giver Licurgus order'd those who had the Government of the Common-wealth to condemn and punish all they found evil and pernicious Nevertheless they were by no means to hate Offenders affirming there was no Plague so destructive as a Judge whose Reason was drown'd in Passion Very few follow this Advice at present and many practise the contrary for now a-days no body is angry with Sin but the Sinners It must needs be a great trouble to any who have to do with furious and impatient Men for they are both insupportable to those that serve and dangerous to such as are their Familiars Now I have told you what Anger is and the ill Consequences thereof let us see what Remedies may be prescrib'd against it for my design here is not to teach you how to be angry but rather how to be appeas'd I am of Opinion one great Remedy against Anger were to bridle the Tongue when in a Passion and put off Revenge till another time for an angry Person oftentimes does says and threatens what he afterwards could wish with all his Heart he had never thought on We ought not immediately to importune a Man in Passion to forgive an Injury but first pray him to respite his Revenge for as long as the heat lasts we can never expect he will Pronounce a Pardon It is either thro' want of Sense or over-diligence we endeavour to reduce a Man in Fury to Equity and Justice for Passion when high and a Heart when enrag'd will neither receive Comfort nor give ear to Reason I do again and again charge and advise every Man of Sence not to be too busie with Persons in Wrath for if they do the best they must expect to come off with will be either some reproachful Language or a broken Head Tho a Man be Friend to him that is Angry yet it is better to let him alone than speak or offer to assist him for at that time he has more need of a Bridle to hold him in than Spur to set him forward More Art than Force is requir'd to deal with one in Passion for tho his Anger swell'd all of a sudden he must nevertheless be appeas'd by degrees Plutarch in his Commonwealth advises the Emperor Trajan to be patient in Sufferings easie in Business and calm towards Furious Men assuring him Time settles many things which Prudence cannot We have seen great Animosities between Mighty Men which could not be reconcil'd or appeas'd by interposition of Friends threats of Enemies presents of Money or multiplicity of Sufferings and yet in process of time when each had thought better on it they have been made up alone among themselves In fine I say that where a Man sees his Friend in Fury he must rather throw Water to quench than Fuel to heighten his Passion Sir I have stretch'd out this Letter much longer than either I design'd or desir'd but your great Sorrow and Afflictions I must confess made me the more free of my Pen. Endure say nothing take no notice let a little time pass and the business be somewhat forgot and I am much mistaken if you will not see that same Fire rage in their Bowels which they cast into your House Solomon the Wise says A Prudent Man has his Tongue in his Heart when an Angry Person has his Heart in his Tongue Agis the Grecian was wont to say A Mad Man was troubled for what he suffer'd and valu'd himsâ—lf upon what â—e said but â—he Wise Man was sorry for what he said and proud of what he suffer'd Now or never make use of your Learning Prudence and Judgment for I 'll Assure it is no small Weakness to know how to cure others and yet neglect to apply a Remedy to ones self I have not forgot when my Sister Donna Francisca died at Torre Mexia you sent me such wholesome Advice as suffic'd to ease my Grief tho not wholly to eradicate the Memory of my Loss I must now therefore put you in mind hereof since it is but reasonable you should reap some of the Fruit you had so plentifully sowed in my Ground I have no more at present as to any other particular but that I give the same power to your Servant to Answer as you gave him to Inform me God Bless you and give me Grace to serve Him Toledo Apr. 6. 1526. LETTER XVII To the Ambassador Don Geronimo Vique shewing the ill Effects of over-much Liberty Very Magnificent Lord and Imperial Ambassador I Received yours here in Granada this 20th of Iuly and must needs say it made good haste to arrive so soon from Valencia being sent but on Saturday and reaching hither Monday night Since you come from so remote
to grow great The one to share what you have with the Poor and your Friends the other always to lay up for Old Age The on◠to be very Circumspect in talking the other to value your self much upon your Tongue The one to believe only in Christ the other to make it your business only to get Money If upon these Twelve Conditions My Lord you are willing to be a Roman much good may it do you but no doubt at the day of Judgment you will rather wish you had been a Plowman in Spain than Ambassador to the Holy See I will say no more but pray God to keep you and give both you and me an happy end Granada Iuly 20. 1525. LETTER XVIII To Doctor Micer Sumier Regent of Naples in Answer to several Moral Questions Magnificent SIR but Importunate Friend NEither is it Untrue nor am I Sorry for Saying and Affirming that as I make it my Business to Serve you you do nothing but Study to Plague me which is demonstrable in that you now send me a-new Questions never thought on nor I believe ever so much as heard of before Nevertheless I am of Opinion you do not so much Ask out of a desire to have 'em Answer'd as to try my Ability and therefore must tell you that on one hand your Letter caus'd me a great deal of Mirth and on the other no less Disquiet you being in some places extreamly Pleasant when in others extravagantly Curious I would not have you Proud because I say you are Curious since you do not fail to shew at the same time you have little else to do As it must be allow'd you are Prudent in most you say so it will as easily be granted you are over-capricious in what is said to you for should I take the same liberty as you have done no doubt you wôuld soon conclude I had either too much leisure or too little Judgment Nevertheless where you seem'd to Write but in Jest I am resolv'd to Answer you in good Earnest imitating herein the ancient Orators who were always wont to exert their Eloquence most where they found the least Occasion You first Ask me Sir How one Man shall do to know another so that he may either safely receive or carefully avoid him I Answer 4 ways By his Undertakings Productions Words and Companions For the Man that by Nature is Proud in Business Negligent in Words a Lyar and who keeps bad Company I am sure is neither fit to be Trusted nor proper to be Believ'd You Ask me How many things in this Life can have no Equal I Answer Four which are our Liberty Learning Health and Good Works For Liberty lightens the Heart Learning enriches the Mind Health preserves the Body and Virtue saves the Soul You Ask me What are those things that most easily deceive a Man and soonest ruin him I Answer Four Desire of having much Inclination to know much Over-experience of the World and too great Presumption of ones Abilities For too much Knowledge ends in Madness too great Wealth creates Pride Living long makes Men Negligent and Self-conceit renders 'em Unmindful of their Frailties You Ask me Sir What is to be requir'd in a good Judge I Answer Four Qualities That he hear with Patience Answer with Prudence Condemn with Justice and Execute with Mercy For he that is impatient in Hearing Foolish in Answering Partial in Sentencing and Cruel in Executing I am sure is rather fit to stand at the Bar to be Tried than sit on the Bench to Determine You Ask me What makes a Man Discreet in his Behaviour and Wise in his Words I Answer Four things Reading many Books Travelling many Kingdoms Suffering many Hardship and Managing great Affairs For to raise a Man to the true Estimation of Wisdom he must have seen the World been conversant in Books Undergone Troubles and Exercis'd no Ordinary Employments You Ask me What are those things a Man thinks himself frequently possess'd of and yet generally wants ' em I Answer they are Four Many Friends Much Knowledge Great Wisdom and Extraordinary Power For there is none so Great but may be Vanquish'd so Wise that do not sometimes Err so Knowing but are often Ignorant nor so Happy but have many Enemies Therefore we may well be said to have fewer Friends than we imagine To know less than we Fancy and in fine to have both our Power and even our Wisdom but very imperfect You Ask me Sir What frequently ruines a Man and from which he rarely recovers I Answer To Neglect his Business Forsake the Councel of a Faithful Friend To meddle with what he has nothing to do and lastly To spend more than his Income For he that is Negligent in what he Undertakes Rejects the Advice of his Wise Friend Concerns himself in anothers Affairs and Spends more than he has shall soon have a downfal and find no body to raise him You ask me what are those things a a Man would rather die than suffer I Answer in my Opinion they are Four Poverty in old Age Sickness in Prison Infamy after Honour and Banishment from his own Country For to be Poor when old Sick in Prison Infamous when Honour'd and Banish'd without hopes of return A Brave Man would sooner accept a Virtuous Death than such a Miferable Life You ask me Sir Who are those that both God Abhors and Man Abominates I Answer a Proud Beggar a Rich Miser an Old Leacher and Young Rakeshame For where Youth loses its Modesty Age its Chastity Riches its Charity and Poverty its Humility there can be no Virtue Cherish'd much less Practis'd You ask me Sir Who are those that may properly be said to have true Friends I Answer Four sorts of Men which are the Eloquent Liberal Powerful and good Natur'd For they who speak with a Grace give with a free Heart are wise in their Commands and Courteous in their Conversation shall live in every Bodies esteem and never want Friends You ask me What are the greatest troubles of this Life I Answer the Death of ones Children Loss of ones Estate Prosperity of ones Enemies and weakness of ones Friends For it must needs be a grear Torment to Bury a Child one has bred lose an Estate one has got be subject to an Enemy or have a Fool to ones Friend You ask me Sir What are those tryals wherein a Man commonly loses his Patience I Answer to Serve and not Please to Ask and not Receive to Give without Thanks and Hope without Success For a Mans endeavours to be ill Rewarded his Petitions Rejected his Debts with-held and Hopes Frustrated he may indeed Suffer but nevertheless can never prevail with his Tongue to conceal ' em You ask me Sir What are those things that sooner cease to be than care to be satisfied I Answer Four the Ears with Hearing Hands with Hoarding Tongue with Talking and Heart with Coveting For be a Man never so Old and Diseas'd his Ears are
to an Angry Person for we know he has neither Ears to receive nor Heart to digest wholsome Instructions but what is yet worst of all the Words we only use to appease prove oftentimes means to fire him the more because by them we do as it were bring into his Memory the source of his Disorder I speak this to you Sir that for the future you may neither be a trouble to your Friends nor a scandal to your self for you and I both know that one Blot many times stains a whole Generation A Vulgar Person 's Crime ends with himself when a Gentlemans extends to all his Family It clouds the past calls in question the present and corrupts the Blood of all that are to come The Abbot Casiano relates that a Holy Monk of Scythia having been much Abus'd in Words and Actions by Pagans and Ill Men and at length being ask'd What Profit he got by his Christ The Good Man immediately answer'd Is it not Profit enough that I am able to withstand your injurious Actions and Pardon your Reviling Words O Noble Expression and worthy to be engraven in the Hearts of Men in indelible Characters since it teaches us the true value of Patience and how useful it is to Human Life How is he to be Esteem'd that Patience does not Govern What can he pretend to that can't endure Reproaches How does he live that wants the use of Patience Of all the Moral Virtues this is what we have occasion for every Moment so many and sudden Misfortunes happening in our Lives that to Suffer and Endure are almost of the same Necessity as to Eat and Drink Now if I had not been accustom'd more than you to bear with Injuries and put the best Construction upon Words at the same time you writ me such reviling Language and accus'd me falsly of so great a Crime I might have presently Answer'd your Bloody Challenge or sent some Body to have broke your Head and that as well to punish your Rashness as to vindicate my own Innocence What belongs to War the King is to determine What to the Commonwealth the Law What to Conscience the Confessor What to ones Estate Justice but what to ones Honour the Sword can only decide For if it be just Sinners Repent it would not be unjust that false Witnesses should be Punish'd But however remembring I am a Christian and no Pagan a Regular Priest and no Secular a Gentleman and no Yeoman I had much rather forget an Injury than Revenge it For as Alexander the Great was wont to say A Man had need of more Courage to Pardon a Friend than to kill him If you had pleas'd to slander me with Stealing a handsom Parrot a good Mousing Cat a Thrush that could Talk or Canary Bird that could Sing perhaps I had been Guilty and not Angry and you found to be no Lyar because these are Trifles I often ask of my Friends and if they won't give 'em I steal 'em But to steal a Wash-Ball good God! sure 't was what was never in my thoughts and a perfum'd one too as I understand yours to be Why if I had stolen it I could never have carried it away or at least given it to any body and that either out of regard to my Conscience or my Modesty To wear Scents and Pride one self in Perfumes although it be no great Sin yet it is a superfluous Charge and it would be much more commendable for so accomplish'd a Gentleman as you to value himself upon the Blood he lost in the Wars of Africk rather than the Musk and Civet he bought at Medina As all Women naturally have some unpleasing Scents they alone may be allow'd to smell well tho not to live ill for if their Manners don't exceed their Civet Bags they cannot properly be said to be Well-bred Let your Wash ball be never so well scented a F t will outsmell it for as good Fame travels rarely farther than a Kingdom Ill goes all over the World Be a Woman Married a Widow Maid or Girl she should live very reserv'd and take more than ordinary care of her Honour for it would be a great Folly nay next to perfect Madness to have her Cloaths smell of Perfumes when her Manners stink of a Whore I have travell'd many Kingdoms and liv'd in many Courts yet never saw that Woman that did not Marry for Perfumes or some such foolery and yet I have seen a great many Divorc'd for ill Customs and the reason is plain because no body asks whether a Woman be sweet or not but all whether she be Rich and Vertuous Let us now leave the Women and return to the Men to whom all the Philosophers nay Aristotle himself forbid Perfumes under severe Penalties councelling 'em moreover with moving Words not to Prink themselves up with Odours and Ointments condemning all that did it not only for Vain but Senceless Rome was 300 years without either Spices to eat or Scents to smell but after they grew weak in War they grew strong in Vice from whence we may infer that had there been no idle People in the World there had been no Vicâ—ous Livy Macrobius Salust and Tully begin and never cease to Curse and Lament the conquest of Asia by Rome for if the Persians and Medians were overcome by the Roman Arms the Romans were likewise conquer'd by their Vices and Effeminacies To make Sumptuous Funerals Wear rich Rings Use Arromaticks in Eating Drink Wine with Ice and Carry Perfumes for Scent says Cicero in a Letter to Atticus These are the 5 Vices presented us by the Asians in revenge of their Cities we had taken and their Blood we had spilt Greater damage had Rome by Asia then Asia by Rome for those Countreys the Romans had of theirs they presently lost but on the contrary their Vices are still like to stick close by ' em Escaurus a Grave Censor once in Rome said one day in the Senate 'T is my Opinion and Vote Conscrib'd Fathers that we should fit out no more Fleets to conquer Asia since you know where we kill but few of them they cause most of us to perish by their ill Customs and Habits introduced among us He that goes to the Wars to fight or into the Field to labour takes more care to maintain his Family honestly than to smell of precious Ointments from whence we may conclude that Idle and ill busied Persons take care to smell well but are careless of living so In the 320 th year after the building of Rome the Senate prohibited the Women to drink Wine and the Men to buy Perfumes so that it was an equal Penalty for the one to busie themselves in Smelling as for the other to be found Drinking Which Law were it now in force I am of Opinion there would scarce one day escape in which some Woman would not be Arraign'd for tho I will not say flatly They drink now as much as ever yet I am
the greater part will be sure to wait upon Fortune All Acquaintance are not proper for Friends for tho they may be honest enough yet they are generally indiscreet and where we may be allow'd to have a respect for their Persons it will not be prudence to trust 'em with our Secrets These and many other Qualities are to be requir'd in a true Friend all which tho you may find in my Mouth yet I would not advise you to expect ' â—m in my Heart and therefore you would do wisely neither to think of me for your Lord nor choose me for a Friend for as to one I am not powerful enough and the other not good enough No more but God Preserve you and give me Grace to serve and obey Him Logronio May 3. 1526. LETTER V. To the Abbot of Monserrat in which he Treats of the Oratories of the Ancients together with some few Reflections on the Court. Most Reverend and Holy Abbot THe Eleventh of May a Monk of yours Father Roderigo gave me your Reverences Letter which I not only receiv'd with Joy but also Read with Pleasure and that because sent from so Noble a Friend and brought by so good a Brother Of the Emperor Aurelian 't is reported that the Consul Domicius his Dispatches were so very troublesome to him he would run 'em over slightly indeed but never take any farther notice of 'em when on the contrary those of the Censor Annius Turinus he not only Read deliberately but speedily Answered with his own Hand In truth Sir there are some Men so very troublesome in Conversation and impertinent in Writing that one would sooner chuse to endure a Calenture than either hear them Talk or Read their Letters But this is not to be wondered at since the various Constitutions and Conditions of Men often occasion the Heart to desire what it should hate and be indifferent in what it should Love I mean I am always too negligent to hear from Monserrat and yet am still pleas'd at Court You desire to know Reverend Father if the Ancients had Oratories like us and where they were to be found in which I will satisfie you as to what I have Read or can at present Remember The Oracle of the Sicilians was Bacchus Of the Rhodians Ceres of the Ephesians their great Diana of the Philistines Belus of the Greciâ—ns Delphos of the Numidians Iuno of the Romans Berecinthia of the Thebans Venus and lastly of the Spaniards Proserpine whose Temple was in Cantabria now Navarre What we Christians call an Hermitage they then nam'd an Oracle which was always plac'd in some Remote part or City of great Veneration There one Priest always attended close lock'd up for they that went on Pilgrimage thither were to kiss the Walls and pay their Devotion without entring except the Priests only and Foreign Ambassadors Near this Oracle were Trees planted within it Lamps continually burning and the Roof of it was all of Lead At the Door stood a great Image to receive Devotion near which was an Altar placed for Sacrifice and a House built to lodge Pilgrims Plutarch exceedingly commends Alexander the Great because where-ever he Conquer'd he order'd Temples to pray in and Oracles to Visit. King Antigonus once Page to Alexander and Father of Demetrius thô he was blam'd by Historians for being Arbitrary and Dissolute yet they greatly magnifi'd him for his Devotion in going once a Week to the Temple and once a Month to the Oracle The Senate of Athens honour'd Plato much more after his Death than when he was Alive and their Reason was because he at length retir'd from Study and Books to the Oracle of Delphos where he Liv'd Dy'd was Buried and afterwards ador'd for a God Archidamas the Grecian Son of Agesilaus having govern'd the Common-wealth of Athens 22 Years and moreover obtain'd many Signal Victories both by Land and Sea at length caus'd a Famous Oracle to be Built upon the steep Mountains of Argos where he ended his Life as also chose a Sepulchre Of all the Oratories of the Ancients that in the Isle of Delphos was the most Famous for thither all Nations had recourse brought most Offerings and there made most Vows and received most Answers from their Gods When Camillus had overcome the Samnites the Romans vow'd to make an Image of Gold and send it to theirOracle Whereupon the Ladies tore off the Chains from their Necks Bracelets from their Arms and the very Rings from their Fingers to promote so Pious a design whereby they receiv'd great Honour as also some Privileges I thought fit to give you these Examples Reverend Father that you might know 't is no new thing to have Oratories and Oracles The difference betwixt ours and theirs being the one was appointed by Men and the other chosen by God I never pass by your thick Woods daring Mountains frightful Precipices and gaping Gulphs but I immediately dispose my self to Devotion and would to God I could continue the same here But woe is me Wo is me Father Abbot that the older I grow the worse I am for in Wishes I am only a Saint where in Works I still continue a Sinner I know not whether it be because Friends advise me Parents importune me Enemies misguide me Business hinders me Caesar imploys me or the Devil tempts me that the more I resolve to retire from this bad World the more I find my self engag'd in it But is there any sincere Pleasure in the Court No certainly For here we suffer Hunger Cold Thirst Weariness Poverty Sadness Trouble Disgrace and Persecution and this because we have no body to deprive us of our Liberty or take account of our Ease Believe me Father Abbot Your Country is much safer to live in both for Soul and Body than ours here for at Court 't is better to Hear than Act See than Reflect and Suffer than Resent At Court he that is Poor is soon forgot and hethat is Rich is quickly Persecuted At Court the Poor Man has nothing to Eat and the Rich rarely any Vertues to boast of At Court there are few Live satisfi'd yet all are Ambitious of it At Court every body is for displacing and no body for obeying At Court none care for dying there yet all are for keeping there At Court most do what they should not but few what they ought At Court all rail at it yet none care to leave it and lastly I affirm what I have oftentimes Preach'd that the Court is only fit for Laicks that may get by it and Youth that can abide by it If on these conditions Reverend Father you have a mind to come hither I am ready to change with you for Monserrat when you please But nevertheless as my Friend must tell you at the same time you 'l sooner repent being a Courtier than I an Abbot From the Hands of Father Roderigo I receiv'd the Spoons you sent and return you a Book in Exchange So that as I shall
for where he makes profitable use of Dirt the Miser will not so much as touch his Gold Also the one gets his living by selling Pots whilst the other forfeits his honour by heaping up Riches The safer a Miser keeps his Wealth always the more satisfied he is and where three Locks suffice his Chest a hundred will scarce content his Heart A generous Person ought to take a great deal of care not to fall into this Vanity for where once it has taken the least possession it will cause a Man to degenerate more and more every day To revenge ones self on a Covetous Man the best way were to wish he would live long for certainly no Pennance under the Sun can equal his rigid self denial May I never be credited if when I was Visitor at Arevalo I did not know a very rich Man who of all his Plenty eat nothing but the rotten Fruit perished Grapes tainted Flesh Mouldy Corn sower Wine Mouse-eaten Cheese and rusty Bacon so that he liv'd upon only what he could not sell or otherwise dispose of Also I confess I went often to visit him but more out of a desire to observe than have to do with him for I always found his Rooms full of Cobwebs Doors off the Hooks Windows shatter'd Sashes torn Floors full of Holes Roofs until'd Chairs broken-back'd and Chimneys ready to drop so that his was a Hovel fitter to burn than live in and more proper for an Alms-house than a Gentleman 's Altho it be pity to prosecute my ill nature farther yet I cannot help telling you moreover what I heard from his Neighbours that whenever any Friend or Relation came to visit him he was wont to make use of their Houses and borrow all his Entertainment Very miserable must Avarice needs be since an ill Reputation can't repress nor thoughts of Death prevent it The Covetous and Griping Person 's business being only to seek out Cares for himself Envy from his Neighbours Jealousie from his Enemies Plunder for Thieves Danger for his Body Damnation for his Soul Curses from his Heirs and Suits for his Children All these things Sir I have thought fit to put you in mind of that you may know what a wretched Profession you are engag'd in and how extreamly you have been misled which as to your Friends it is Matter of Disquiet to your self it will likewise be indelible Scandal Reclaim therefore your past Obstinacy and resolve for the future to live after another manner for where a Gentleman may casually suffer some breach in his Estate he is to endure none in his Honour If notwithstanding all has been said you are still bent upon being Miserable and Covetous be assur'd from this very moment I renounce your Friendship and disclaim any knowledge of you not thinking it at all for my Reputation to be acquainted with a Man that will Lie or Hoard up his Money I send you this Letter without either Head or Feet for being on a Subject of Anger and Satyr I could not think it reasonable it should either be known to whom writ or by whom written No more but God keep you and give me Grace to serve him Medina Apr. 4. 1535. LETTER VII To Don Henrique Henriquez in Answer to several pleasant Questions Much Respected SIR and my good Old Friend VAldivia your Solicitor gave me lately a Letter which I presently ghest to be yours by its few Lines and many Blots And cannot but think had God made you a Scrivener as he did a Gentleman you would have been much more expert at dying Cordavant Felts than Writing either Bills or Bonds Always endeavour Sir when-ever you write to keep your Lines streight Letters even Paper clean Folding exact and Seals clear for it is a receiv'd Maxim at Court that by what one Writes is shewn one's Prudence and in what Manner our Breeding In yours were contained many Questions in few Words and therefore my Answers cannot be expected of larger extent You first Ask me what made me come to Court To which I Answer theCause was rather thro Necessity than Inclinâ—tion for in the Suit I then had with the Church of Toledo it was absolutely necessary I should come to defend my self and promote my right You next enquire what it is I do here Why setting aside grapling with my Enemies and enlarging my Business every day I do nothing but undo my self Then you have a mind to know what is my chiefest Employment Why truly according to a Courtier 's Office of Wishing ill Sowing Strife Blaspheming Epicurizing Lying Undermining and Defaming I may rather be said to be ruin'd than Employ'd Next you would be inform'd who I most converse with To which I answer that from our Childhood our chiefest business here is not to seek whom we may converse with but rather whom we ought to avoid We have scarce time sufficient to defend our selves from our Enemies and yet you would have us employ the greatest part in looking after new Friends In Princes Courts there may indeed be Conversation but seldom any Association for there Enmity is generally a Native when Friendship is an utter Stranger The Court is of that pernicious Quality that they are always worst thought on who are visited oftenest and worst dealt by who are spoken best of Those who have a mind to live at Court if they will be curious and no Fools may find many things to stand in awe of but more to desend themselves from You Enquire Sir how stand the Differences between the Admiral and Count de Miranda in which I can satisfie you no farther than that they both still find wherewithall to keep one another in play You also ask what News from the Empeâ—our Whether will he speedily return or not As to both which all we know at present is that the Turk is retreated Florence Agreeâ— the Duke of Milan reduc'd the Venetians have furl'd up their Topsails the Pope and Emperor have a right Understanding between 'em the States of Naples are divided the Cardinal of Colonna is dead the Marquess of Villafranca made Viceroy the Prince of Orange Murther'd and the Chancellor and Confessor have each a Cap given ' em Other secret News they write from thence as it may be pleasant for us to hear it must needs be much more grievous to them that suffer and which is that many of those Gallants that waited on the Emperor into Italy are there fallen deeply in Love and have fool'd away most of their Money but in this case I can assure you their Ladies are resolv'd to be even with 'em for if they leave any great Bellies behind they must expect to find the like here when they come home You desire moreover Sir to know how our Provisions hold out this Lent To which I answer that thanks be to God we are neither like to want Store of Fish nor Sins to confess You likewise Enquire whether things with us be dear or cheap As to which
do those that become Martyrs for the Faith Now to come to the purpose I say and affirm you have merited all these three Honours and they ought worthily to be conferr'd upon you since in Age you are Seventy five as to Matâ—imony have had Eleven Children and then four of them been kill'd in the Wars of Granada Nevertheless I am of Opinion you would willingly resign the Honours you have gain'd by living so long having so many Children and losing four in the Wars providing you could but have escap'd the vast Troubles you have under-gone for in this unhappy World Reputation every day grows less when Troubles daily increase Sir I have computed my Age and find I am but Forty four yet as I hope to be saved am so very full of Discontent and exceedingly tir'd out with Sufferings that I covet not so much to live a great while as to Repent sincerely of my Sins and this because our Salvation depends not upon a long but Virtuous and Pious Life Vivere erubesco mori pertimesco cry'd St. Anselm as who would say Comparing the wickedness of my Life with the Punishment I deserve for it on one hand I am asham'd to live and on the other afraid to dye for with God no Merits pass unrewarded nor Guilt unpunish'd Suitable to the saying of which Saint I protest when I stand to consider how long I have liv'd and how little good have done I can neither forbear Sighing nor give over Weeping reflecting how at the hour of my death a strict Account will be taken not only of the ills I have committed but also the good Actions I have declin'd I find but one good quality in my self and that is I commiserate my own Failings and envy the Perfections of others and would to God I could with the same ease amend as I can discover my own Faults for then I assure you the Crime would be no sooner committed than I should begin to do Pennance for it Therefore now since you are past Seventy and I am onwards of Fifty methinks it is no ill Advice we should begin to lay aside superfluous Care and put in execution our good Purposes for frequently the best part of our Life is spent only in designing to grow better But yet when we least think of it death often prevenâ—s us before we have begun and so leaves us in a State of Perdition Remember Sir in how many Wars you have been how many Famines have seen how many Friends have lost and how many Plagues escap'd from all which dangers Almighty God has deliver'd you not because you have not deserv'd a thousand deaths but that you might have more time to repent In order to be Healthy and prevent Diseases I confess a Man must live temperate and somewhat indulge himself yet at the same time I avouch we are neither to attribute to our Physician nor Care of our selves the length or shortness of our days for that depends only on the will and good Pleasure of our Maker Sir I intreat and charge you to be moderate in Discourse temperate in Eating charitable in Giving and grave in Advising so that you may value your self more upon your Gravity than Age otherwise as you reckon your Years others will not fail to count your Vices I remember this time twelve month when you were laid up of the Gout and I came to visit you you then requested the same thing you now write about that is to inform you of the Priviledges and Immunities of old Men. This Sir is what might very well have been asked of somebody else who were wiser and had more Years over their Heads chiefly considering tho' I am past my Youth I have not yet arrived at Old Age for as Aulus Gellius says the Romans enjoyed not the Priviledges of Age till they were Forty Seven Years Old Nevertheless I am willing to perform what you so earnestly desire on condition you shall neither be offended nor dissatisfied for I intend to write and acquaint you only with the Prerogatives of humoursome old Fellows without offering in the least to touch upon any whose Gravity and Age are equal and by whose Prudence States are frequently Govern'd and Youth as often directed It is only just my Pen should launch out upon such as me who am a Vagabond you that are Humoursome Alonso de Ribera who is an eternal Babler Pedro de Espinel a continual Gamester Roderigo de Orejon newly set up for a Spark Sancho de Najara for an Epicure and Gutierre de Hermosilla who is most immoderately Fretful Tullius Possidonius Laertius and Polycrates spent many Hours and writ several Treatises to prove that Old Age was Profitable and Advantagious and yet how far were they from the Truth and how little was their knowledge of what they affirm'd since we find by experience it is nothing less than a Disease whereof we never recover and a sickness which at last deprives us of our being Sir I will here reckon up some of the Priviledges which Old Men enjoy and Age carries along with it which yet will be nothing in respect of the many infirmities attend grey Hairs being so exceeding numerous and very grievous that they can hardly be comprehended much less recounted Several Remarkable Priviledges of Old Men full of Raillerie and Facetious Reflections It is a Priviledge of Old Men to be short Sighted and blear Eyed and very often where there is not a Cloud to be seen in the Air they are to be found in their Eyes It is the Priviledge of Old Men to have a ringing in their Ears and to be much troubled at their not hearing well and this is discernable in that they often turn their Heads on one side to listen and understand not what is said without hollowing But still the worst is they frequently imagine what is spoken and which they do not understand to be a design upon them and in their Prejudice It is the Priviledge of Old Men to have their hairs fall off without Combing and Itch grow in their Necks without Sowing wherefore will stand a whole day sunning their Heads and complaining the Dandrif makes 'em scratch when for Cure they should be washed in Chamber-lye but dare not for fear of the weakness of their Pericranys It is the Priviledge of Old Men to want Teeth in their Mouths to have some Loose and others Rotten but still the worst is that many of 'em complain when they Drink and Lifâ— when they Talk It is the Priviledge of Old Men to put Pepper-Corns into their hollow Teeth and afterwards to take a little Wine and Rosemary to wash their Mouths It is the Priviledge of Old Men I mean such as are past Three-score to give largely to Young Wenches to pick their Heads and scratch their Backs It is the Priviledge of Old Men whenever they complain or Limp by reason of some Swelling in their Legs hard Nodes nails grown under the Flesh or their Veins being
two or three times over laying the Guinea's by themselves Crown-Pieces in one place and Broad Gold in another but of which they would not part with a single Piece either to save their Souls or relieve their Bodies It is the Priviledge of Old Men to be naturally Covetous Niggardly Penurious and Close and that not only in regard to their Neighbours but even to themselves which is plainly discernable in that they keep their best Cloaths to wear the worst sell their best Wine and drink the poorest and part with their best Wheat to eat the coursest so that they live poor to die rich and all that they labour'd to purchase whilst living is afterwards sold by Outcry It is the Priviledge of Old Men when call'd to Councel Weddings or at Church to take the upper end of the Table and propose first what they think proper to be Debated but still the mischief is that most are so very tedious in their Narrations and various in their Sayings that they rather exact Scorn and Contempt than Respect and Veneration It is the Priviledge of Old Men to Speak without being spoke to Answer without being Ask'd Give Advice without being Consulted Take any thing without being offer'd Go into any House without being sent for and sit down at Table without being invited which I happening once to reprove in a Friend of mine he answer'd Sir trouble not your self with matters of such small importance for you know well all Places are free to Honourable Age. It is the Priviledge of Old Men to be naturally Quarrelsom Passionate Melancholy ill Humour'd Jealous and hard to please and the reason is because through Age their Blood being cold Choler corrupted and Humours chang'd they take more Satisfaction in Quarrelling than Laughing It is the Priviledge of Old Men in long Winter-nights and Summer Holidays to sit down and tell what Countreys they have travelled through Wars been in Voyages made Dangers escap'd and Amours have had but yet they will never tell you how many years they are old or how long it is since those Passages happened but if you chance to mention any such thing they immediately turn the Discourse another way It is the Priviledge of Old Men to be always in Apothecaries Books often dealing with Physicians consulting old Women to be Skill'd in the Qualities of many Herbs to Understand Distilling of Waters Sunning of Bottles and to keep Pots of Physick in their Cupboards But notwithstanding all those of my Country which is the Mountains are much better acquainted with Vintners Buts than Apothecaries Books It is the Priviledge of Old Men to hate sower and love sweet things such as Dates of Oran Citron of Candia sweet Lemmons of the Canaries Marmelade of Portugal and Preserves of India yet I know some old Fellows so very healthy and robust that they 'l prefer a good Westphalia Ham to all the Sweetmeats in the Universe It is the Priviledge of Old Men to extol past Times and rail at present saying in their Youth they were acquainted with such and such who were Brave Resolute Generous Noble and Stout but now the World is so far degenerated that Men are all Cowards Niggards Lyars Misers and Knaves The cause of which Discontent is that being then in the heat of their Youth they liked every thing but now grown Aged nothing is pleasing to ' em It is the Priviledge of Old Men by Authority or through Necessity to wear a Fox-Skin on their Arms to dry up the Rheum and next their Head a Quilted Cap to suck up the Sweat Then to lie on a soft Feather-bed to keep 'em warn and wear at night a Linnen Wastcoat for fear they should be uncovered in Bed also a Scarlet one by day to please their Eyes and lastly a warm Stomacher to help Digestion It is the Priviledge of Old Men in Winter to put on as many pair of Stockings as they please Shoes with Cork and Hat in them and Galloshes over all They may also wear Woollen Leather and Fur Gloves all at once Nay they may at the same time wear Doublet Wastcoat Coat Surtout and Cloak and on their Heads a Cap Wig and Hat They may likewise lie on a Down Bed Quilts and Feather-bed and be covered with Blankets Rugs and as much Bedding as they please They may also lie in an Alcove Matted keep a Fire there and have their Bed well warm'd But still notwithstanding this the Wretches never cease coughing all night nor grunting all day It is the Priviledge of Old Men when they go to Bed to have their Shins scratch'd and Backs rubb'd and if it be a neat Old Fellow he sees his Breeches first well look'd and has his Legs stroak'd after which he cries to the Maid I pray thee Mary open the Bed and bring me a Dram. It is the Priviledge of Old Men when at home alone or awake in Bed they may think on their Youth past and all their old Acquaintance gone also how useless Age has made them and how little they are now to be valued The Memory of which often-times makes 'em Heavy and Melancholy because they see they must die without remedy and rot without redemption It is the Priviledge of Old Men to talk often with the Parson of the Parish about their Funeral and frequently consult their Lawyer concerning their Will But the Jest is there is hardly one hour in a day in which they do not alter their Resolution about being buried in this or that place and leaving what they have to this or that Body It is the Priviledge of Old Men to be known where-ever they come and heard where-ever they go that is by Coughing as they Walk dragging their Feet and many times by the Noise they make with their Cane but most commonly by muttering and scolding at their Men. It is the Priviledge of Old People to turn every Bit they eat a long time from one side of their Mouths to 'tother before they swallow it and to hold a Glass of Wine the mean while in their Hands so that their Throats being better at swallowing than Jaws at chewing their greatest comfort is to take two or three gulps with every Morsel for tho what they eat may be but ill chew'd yet then it must needs be well soak'd It is the Priviledge of Old Men to carry the Keys of their Money close in their Fobs and those of their Wine and Corn in their Pockets so that when they are to give out Corn to Grind or Money for usual Expences they frequently make the House ring and often spoil their Wives Dinners It is the Priviledge of Old Men to be peevish to those that ask how old they are and pleas'd with such as talk of their past Amours but the worst is they could even murder such as do not honour them for their years and yet are always angry with those that compute 'em so that they love the Respect due to them but conceal their Age