you uneasy However I would have you part with us resolved if possible to see this Lady that so Adores you at the time appointed I will endeavour Reply'd he to perswade my self which is as much as you can desire So immediately they call'd a Reckoning which Ariadne would needs discharge And then parted at the Door Polydor walking towards Westminster and Ariadne took Coach with Miranda for her Brothers House into which they got the back way as they came Where we may leave 'em to shift themselves for I hold it not convenient to peep into Ladies Privacies In the mean time my Friend Polydor was making Reflections on what had pass'd sometimes he was for going to meet 'em then presently Cursing himself for being such a Fool as to give ear to so improbable a Story as he then thought it Staggering all the way home both in Mind and Body At last he reach'd his Apartment to speak Gentilely And I think without saying his Prayers he went to Bed where he fell fast asleep till next Morning about 5 or 6. When Waking he began afresh to recal the last Nights Adventure and the Proposition Ariadne made to him Ha! said he to himself 'T is very odd Yet there is something in it looks very Reaâ— The two Sparks very Rich and Gay especially my particular Friend whose Pockets were doubly lin d That Watch that Gâ—â—â— and those Rings I took notice of on his â—â—â—gers were marks of no ordinary Qualiâ—â— His Meen was a la mode Easy and Sweet His Conversation Free and Generous Sure he can have no Ends in this How Fool Replyd he to himself is it not very possible he has been and may be is her Gallant who now is sated and would willingly turn her on my hands with thâ— advantage of a Great Belly Yet as â—â—â—rid why might not another Man any Rascal might have serv'd his ends What shall I do I am already fallen a Stern very finely and unless I meet with a good Pilot I shall run a' ground to rights This Lady then must be my Pilot I was mor'd before but now I only hold at one Anchor and that too drags too fast Well! I will ' een throw at all Saying so he was just going to leap out o' Bed when a second and contrary Thought surpris'd him and threw him again on his Pillow What art a' going to do Fool cry'd he to himself See all thy old Acquaintance some of 'em Witty Satyrical Rogues others Daâ—n'd Dull Dogs all of them Barking at thee aloud Is this the Spark we have so long mistaken for a Man of Sense Is this he who was wont to help us Laugh at all those Sots that durst hazard their Carkasses with one Woman for better for worse And is this Jolly Debauche at last overtaken Nay more Jilted by a Lewd Woman pretended Heiress Very fine i' faith No no I 'le ha' none on 't I shall hardly give 'em the Opportunity to ease their Spleens at my cost Yet continu'd he turning on t' other side My little new Acquaintance did urge what he said so vehemently and with so much concern that I must believe him Well Hang 't The Die is thrown and it is Decreed At these Words out he jump'd as resolutely as Caesar into the Rubicon Makes himself as fine as the best of three good Suits could make him Puts all the Guineys he cou'd then come at in his Pockets which I think were just three Then down he drops on his Knees lifting up his Hands and Eyes but where his Heart was at that time I will not pretend to determin Well! At length up he gets and out o' doors he marches very courageously to Sir Francis's where he met just coming out one of his Acquaintance who was very intimate with our young Knight O Jack said he assoon as he saw him you are the only Man I cou'd wish to have encountr'd And if you are not busy we must drink one Bottle this Morning I am no Morning drinker said his Friend However to wait on you I don't much care if I take one Glass provided the Wine be good Where will you go The blue Posts in the Hay market I think is the nearest place where we may venture our Carkasses answered Polydor. Now I really believe he was in the right on 't For he had an excellent Palate for French Wines I dare assure you And I wou'd assoon take his Judgment of 'em as any Man's I know To the blue Posts then they went Where after they had each of 'em drank their two Glasses a piece Polydor began to inform himself of Ariadnes Fortune and Humour which he found answerable to the Character she had given him of her self the Night past in every particular The Gentleman who gave him this account did so enlarge on her Beauty and Gayety of Humour that Polydor began to be Jealous he lov'd her himself Which made 'em part the sooner by a Bottle or two Polydor now long'd for Eleven a' Clock being perfectly resolv'd for once to make a blind Bargain with Fortune and wholly Committed himself to her Guidance I think 't was between Nine and Ten when he shook off his Friend so he went directly to the Park where he expected Ariadne as eagerly as if he had Lov'd her for seven years together and that the first time she had ever made him an Assignation I can but think what Reflections he made on his Friends Relation of Ariadne's Person Beautiful said he to a Miracle and of an Humour as extravagantly Pleasant Is she so Sir said Polydor to himself as he walk'd so much the more happy is your Friend and Polydor like to be Little dost thou think Dear Heart continu'd he that I am going to be Marry'd with her this very Morning And ' gad 't is her own fault too If she will throw away her self and her Estate on an Honest Fellow of a younger Brother who can help it The Devil take them that wou'd hinder her for me I speak nothing but Reason I am sure I think it is fit she shou'd have her Humour Shee 's like to pay for 't I believe He told me too she Sung finely That 's another excellence I mightily well approve of We may make shift to Sing two parts I fancy Let me see what new Song have I to Surprize her with Charmante Douce c. Dam these French Songs No I 'le Entertain her with plain down right English As thus said he humming it softly to himself Tho' your Pride be great as your Beauty And my Vows you hear with scorn Yet Alas 't is but my Duty Silently to Love and Mourn In hopeless Anguish I 'd chuse to Languish Rather than wish to break the Chain 'T is more Glory Thus to Adore yâ—â— Than 'ore all your Sex to Reign Pox on 't said he I made these Words my self to a French Air I don't know whether shee 'l like 'em or no. But shee must
were confin'd till now I never was indeed replyed Polydor. But I have visited some of my acquaintance in such like places several times Well Sir since you are so obstinate and will not be prevail'd on for your own good said one of the Serjeants you shall e'en have your humour but I fear you 'l repent it I shall not however acquaint you with my Penitence if I do answer'd Polydor So let 's know what 's to pay that I may be gone to my Palace Dear Friend continued he speaking to Marwoud oblige me so far as to enquire into this business for me and see what must be done in 't and give your self a little farther trouble to send Harry Will or Tom any one of 'em or all of 'em together to me by to Morrow Noon I will not fail replyed Marwoud Can I do you any better Service I am sorry at the Heart that I must leave you Yet if my Company may add any thing to your satisfaction command my stay with you as long as you please and where you will I 'le put off all business so I may any way contribute to the easing of your Misfortunes O by no means answer'd Polydor again Embracing his Evil Angel I cannot suffer it I know you will be at no great ease in such a place which will but encrease my trouble As they had ended this Discourse the Drawer brought up a Bill of about eight and twenty Shillings which these Vermin had devour'd in less than three hours time and yet the Dogs were so greedy that they were craving still they were for Money for waiting with so many Plagues to them as they drank Glasses of Wine Money for waiting cry d Polydor yes let them pay you that set you awork They look'd a little sower but said no more because they saw their Pay-Master in the Room who wou'd needs pay the Reckoning out of the extraordinary satisfaction he receiv'd in Polydor's Affliction But Marwoud pretended it was for fear Polydor shou'd have occasion for Money in his ill Circumstances Polydor took leave of him to go to his Enchanted Castle with a Resolution worthy an Hero who makes such desperate Adventures He was attended only by four of the Giants Warders The other two stayd with Marwoud till they had squeezed three Guinneys out of him He charged them when he was going to look strictly to their Prisoner and not to allow him any liberty that they might lawfully deny him They promised to be very observant of his Commands and left him to go homewards without his Companion for my part I wish Polydor had gone homeward without him and had left him to keep his Bed warm in the Compter But hang 't 'T is ridiculous to wish Impossibilities Well! Let the Treacherous Marwou'd e'en trudge on Wee 'l return to my good friend Polydor who by this time had enter'd the Fort and pay'd all Dutys belonging to it All the rest of the poor Enchanted Souls look'd upon him as the wretched Ghosts in Hell did on Hercules and Theseus whom they were in hopes came to deliver 'em and truly if Polydor did not altogether enlarge their Bodies yet he did much encrease their Commons during his stay there Insomuch that they all esteem'd him their Deliverer from a lingring sort of Famin For he dayly gave Alms to the meanest You may see Providence in this now For had he not been sent thither many a poor Soul might have Perish'd of Hunger and Thirst His Charity to all and his kind easy Conversation with the most â—nferiour and Miserable Creature there was so signal that the Keepers took particular notice of it and told him after he had been there two Days and some Hours by way of Complement as I suppose they intended it that They shou'd be mighty sorry to lose his Company at least they added the Prisoners would have no small cause to Lament his Departure tho they ought to wish it for his sake He Smil'd and told 'em ' He thought he was oblig'd to it as he was a Man if not as a Christian and a Fellow Sufferer They had more discourse as they walk'd at the end of which a Jolly Honest Soul and so you wou'd judge by the Ruddy Complexion of his Face one who had no small Authority there Invited him into the Lodge telling him and that truly that it was the sweeter place of the two He Embrac'd his kind proffer and to shew he was not ungrateful for favours sent for half a dozen Bottles of good Clarret from Matt. Fowlers and bespoke two good substantial Dishes of Meat for his Friend his self and the Prisoners As they were drinking a Glass or two before Dinner in came those two Officers that stay'd behind with Marwoud who had heard of his Generosity to those in the House and of his Civility to every Body and who perceiv'd he had Money enough O cry'd Polydor looking on his Friend in Authority These are some of the Gentlemen that brought me hither to be acquainted with you Sirs Pray walk in and drink with us continu'd he to the Officers They were easily prevail'd on and sate 'em down After a Glass or two had gone about said the Serjeant I wonder Sir No body has been with you yet Ay said Polydor 't is something strange But I doubt not my Friend whom you saw with me t'other day is busie in getting my Liberty and means I suppose to surprize me with it yet I admire he has not sent some other Friends to me whom I expected to see here the next day after my Confinement You have been very patient Sir said the Officer I don't hear that you have sent to any Friend yet No no I need not trouble my self I 'm sure reply'd Polydor my Friend is labouring for my ease You mean Squire Marwoud answer'd the Serjeant I do so said Polydor. I can then assure you continu'd the Officers that he is indeavouring labouring all the ways imaginable to keep you in a Prison all the days of your Life How Sir Interrupted Polydor strangly Surpris'd what do you know what you say Ay ay Sir said the other Serjeant and I l swear it Sir and two Witnesses are enough to cast a Suit at Common Law That may be Sir answer'd Polydor but a thousand Witnesses will hardly make me suspect my Friend But pray what ground have you for what you say Why Sir replyed one of 'em since we have found you here among us a Civil Obliging and Charitable Person I 'l tell you the whole truth which I will Swear to and so will my Friend there Be assur'd then that it was he who set you for three days together till the very day he secur'd you in the Coach where we took you I dare swear it before any Magistrate in England Interrupted t'other Serjeant â—t may be so Sir replyed Polydor. Besides pursu'd the Serjeant I 'm sure we had three Guinneys of him If this be true cry'd
return'd for all that and told him thâ—â—â—dy was to Impoâ—â— that to bâ—â—ny'd that she must speak with him Tell her she may said Polydor If she will take the pains to meet me three or four hours hence at the Golden Lyon in Southwark He did so and return'd once more to let Polydor know that Sir Francis Heartwell would see him if he pleased Sir Francis Heartwell cry'd Polydor in a great surprise Thou mistakest sure No Sir reply'd the Servant so he call'd himself I am certain Dâ—â— him let him come in said Harry If he do's affront thee I shall find a time to cut his throat I cannot blame thy zeal for thy friend replyed Polydor tho it be mistaken He is a man of too much honour to offer any Rudeness Saying so he went as far as he might to wait on Sir Francis who was just coming into the House with his Sister Marwoud leading Miranda and Dorothea After having saluted each other Sir Francis desir'd Polydor to leave his friends to entertain one other for a quarter of an hour that he might discourse him a little privately Polydor spoke to 'em of it and went into another Room with the two Gentlemen and the Ladys Sir said the Knight lifting up his Sister's hood which till then cover'd her face Do you not know this Lady Too well Sir Reply'd Polydor you had not found me here Sir otherwise Have you any pretentions to her said Sir Francis Pretentions Sir answer'd Polydor no no and I wou'd she never had had any for me What 's the meaning of this said the Knight To my knowledge she loves you Do you know who she is Yes and what she is too reply'd Polydor she call's her self Ariadne but the pretty Imposture will not pass for such in this Lady's Company At these words he took Dorothea's hand 'T is well continued he they are both come together I hope my Ariadne will not any longer pretend to the blood of the Heartwells before you Sir Your Ariadne said Sir Francis why are you Marry'd to either of 'em Yes yes Sir Francis cry'd he in a great Passion To my eternal shame I am marri'd to this false Beautifull creature yes I am sped with her Well Sir answer'd Ariadnes Brother And Heaven give you joy with my Sister Ah Sir says Polydor Do not triumph in the misfortunes of an unhappy Gentleman I know you do but Impose now for that Lady 's your Sister said he bowing to Dorothea If you please Sir answer'd Marwoud That Lady shall be my Wife before Noon yet as late as ' t is It shall onely trouble me replyed Polidor for the Lady's sake Come come Polydor said his kind bâ—other in Law pen your Eyes view her well Is not your Ariadne more like me than my Cousin Dorothea for so is that Lady call'd who has hitherto only personated my Sister the more to perplex you Ah Polydor cry'd Ariadne I bring thee now thy True and Faithfull Ariadne Let me embrace you together said Sir Francis And now Polydor cryd Marwoud taking him by the hand Let here all Picques and Feuds cease I wish thee and will not envy thee all those joys thou art like to possess in that Lady To whose Embraces and caresses I will at present leave you to withdraw the Action that is against you which I protest I do with much more content than I lay'd it on Ha! cryed Polydor This is too much happiness for me in one day To find my dear Ariadne true to be reconcil'd to my friend whom I thought past it and to be so nearly ally'd to one whom I have always been ambitious of serving Marwoud went out and discharg'd him of the Action and fees of the House while the other two Ladys complemented him and began to confess how they had all contributed to his seeming misfortunes Heaven cry'd Polydor that I should not know that face again and that shape out of Breeches But I am now awake Yet continued he I must beg you would permit me to distrust your kindness to me before my friends in t' other Room Be it as your humour Commands answer'd Ariadne But don't let the counterfit last long Marwou'd now return'd and brought news of Polydors Libertie who strait led 'um to his other Friend After Complements had pass'd he call'd his three Friends aside and told 'um how things had succeeded but withall added that he durst not yet trust their Kindness where fore he intreated they wou'd acâ—ompany him to Sir Francis's where he was going and that he wou'd plant 'em so near that upon the least call they might come to his assistance if occasion were They all promised to hazard their Lives and Fortunes in his Service Polydor then taking some Money out of his Pocket to bestow on the poor wretches that wanted it at the same time pull'd out the mock to his Pindarique and shew'd it to Dorothea asking if she knew the hand She answer'd yes 't was her Consin Ariadnes who smiling confess'd that she had stolen his melancholy stuff with design to abuse it He was not a little pleas'd with this Confession As soon as every one had Distributed their Charities they left the dismal place and Polydor took Coach with Sir Francis Ariadne Miranda Marwou'd and Dorothea But Harry Will and Tom were forc'd to walk into Cheapside where they likewise took a Hackny Coach following Sir Francis's Coach as close as they could They came in time to their Journey 's end Where Polidor dispos'd of his three merry Boys in a very convenient Room leaving 'em Wine enough to supply 'em till he had dispatch'd his affairs in the next Room Where as soon as he came he was amaz'd to see the Tables already spread and all things in as much order as if it had been design'd a week before But this was not all the occasion of his surprize for when his Brother in Law and his dear Ariadne led him into an Inner Room he was there presented with all the Writings of her Estate and a glorious sight of Rich Jewells and of Gold and Silver some in Bags and some loosly scatter'd about the Chest This sight was not altogether ungrateful to Polydor tho he did not absolutely do at on Riches Immediately after the shew was over Sir Francis was for calling for the Person whom he had provided to speak some fatal words as strong as any Witches Charm I 'm sure to him and Marwou'd and the other two Ladys But Polydor beg'd his three Friends might first be admitted to which they agreed and he gave the sign immediately for them to come in Who no sooner heard it but with all the Violence and Resolution imaginable they rush'd in with their Swords drawn Ha! cry'd Polydor whence is this Rudeness what do you mean Gentlemen How now Polydor said Harry Have you forgot we came to your Rescue Rather to Divorce me from the greatest happiness imaginable reply'd he drawing his Sword which Sir Francis and Marwou'd did likewise This is strange said Will. It is indeed answer'd Polydor very strange that a man should betray himself into twelve hundred a year besides thousands in Money and Jewels and throw himself away on so Beautifull a Creature as Ariadne You Harry I confess might have expected it but for such a person as mine Death we are fool'd then cry d Tom well we shall find a time continu'd he offering to go Hold Gentlemen pray be'nt angry said Polydor you must not go yet till you have din'd with us and been Witnesses to a little Business that these two Gentlemen and Ladies have to dispatch Come Put up Put up We are all friends Ay Gentlemen said Sir Francis we must intreat your Company to day Nay added Marwou'd ye must be our Guess Upon this they all put up and were as good as so many Certificates to Miranda and Dorothea that Ceremony ended they eat and drank plentifully had the Fiddles Danc'd and were wondrous Pleasant so wee 'l leave 'em till night when I suppose the three Hero's went to Bed with their Ladys where wee 'l leave 'em to be more Happy than I dare tell you they were FINIS
To my Worthy Friends Mr. W.C. and Mr. A.P. HAD it not been a necessary Acknowledgment I had not presum'd Gentlemen to have occasioned you a Blush in throwing such a Trifle as this unto your Protection And yet I fear that what I design as an Expression of my Gratitude for your many Favours may draw on me a greater Obligation from you I mean in receiving this into your Patronage It is the first thing I have done publick Pennance for in a Sheet Which yet had Mr. Blount been less hasty had been more Correct and Pardonable You know the Circumstances that provoked me to this Attempt I shall only put you in mind that Nil habet Infaelix Paupertas durius in se Quam quod Ridicules homines facit I shall not need to trouble you with the English on 't to whom the Latin is as familiar and easy as your own English Tongue Nor wou'd I have the Ladys understand it lest it spoil my Fortunes I must confess there is much in that But there will be infinitely more in your goodness if you will not for this lessen the kind opinion you have hitherto had of most Dear Friends Your most sensibly Oblig'd Obedient and Humble Servant A. O. THE Fair EXTRAVAGANT OR THE Humorous Bride AN ENGLISH NOVEL IT is expected perhaps I should say somthing by way of Introduction to this Discourse an play the Philosopher before I play the Poet. But at present I am not disposed to be serious besides I never was fond of that tedious Paradox the farthest way about is the nearest way home and so am willing to be Trudging on to the Story which tells us Ariadne was as Beautiful as any of her Age as Witty as Fair as well Educated and as Humorous as either Add to these the advantage of her Uncle's Death who left her sole Heiress to Twelve Hundred Pounds a Year besides some Thousands in Money and Jewels and you will conclude he was the happiest younger Brother in Christendom that Married her And so perhaps he was for I never heard her Virtue call'd in question and 't is hard if a Man could miscarry among so many Excellencies at least it must be his own fault Her Birth two was Honourable enough being Daughter to a Knight Baronet by which you may guess she was an English Woman and our Neighbour for by the way I am not going to put any Spanish Intrigue upon you The last fatal time she was in Town being about the seventeenth year of her Reign for Beauty give me leave to tell you has a large Empire she Lodged let me see somewhere about St. James's I need not describe her Lodgings to you I must only say they were agreeable to her Humour and Fortune which made 'em both splendid and pleasant being richly hung and adorn'd with Cabinets China Glasses and what not But much more with excellent Pictures of the best Hands and those cheifly in her Closet where if ever you were there you might have observed that of Don Quixot and Sancho Panca which hung just over against Amadis de Gaul and directly opposite to Oroondates and Caesario in Combat when they had mistaken one another with many more fantasticks Nor were her Books better match'd Here you might see Frances Quarles bound up with George Withers Sir John Suckling and Sir John Denham Randolph and Broom Shakespear and Johnson though they could hardly ever agree before Bâ—â—â—â—â—â— and Flâ—cher you know always worâ— together many other Modern Poets were pil'd in a heap my Lord Rochester was laid aside only Mr. Cowley stood alone but what was most pleasant of all this satyrical pretty Lady had bound Rablais with Dod upon Clever In short here lay a Play there a Sermon here an Academy there a Prayer-Book here a Romance and there a Bible not but that she was a good Christian for all this I dare say Now be pleased to take notice when she was weary of singing and dancing she did often read in one or other of these Books especially Romances for she was a great lover of Knight Errantry and was a little 〈◊〉 way addicted as I fear you 'l find she had had the tender of many Hearts the proffers of many a fair Service but either this was a Squire or that a Clown or t'other a Fop and so to the end of the Chapter she never yet had liked any so well as to Mâ—â—â—y One day being very long and 〈◊〉 at her Devotion I mean her 〈◊〉 on a suddain she starts up and run◠〈◊〉 a Cousin of hers whom she lâ—â—ed â—â—ry dearly My heart said she I am resolved on 't my own Miranda she continued it must be I am confirmed in the reasonableness of the project and I will go through with it therefore make hast and prepare to second me The young Lady her Cousin was surprised but knowing her humour pretty well she straight concluded there was some frolick intended and boldly said Lead on my Dearâ— I le follow thee assured that still thy Virtue will guide us always Perhaps reply'd Ariadne the zealous and the scrupulous may at this time call it in question but thou shalt be my Judge Know then thou tender'st part of my Soul I am just now weary of that o'repressing weight of a Maidenhead which I have laboured under these five long years and since I have not been Courted by any man to whom I could engage my self for ever and for Ay I am resolved we will put on two of my Brothers 〈◊〉 and ramble all the Town over 〈◊〉 will meet with the man with whom I can find in my heart to commit the dangerous Sin of Matrimony Thou wilt be witness of all my actions which I hope shall â—â—â—er cost thee a Blush Ah dearest friend reply'd Miranda I know your Virtue keeps too strict a Guard to permit any thing to be acted contrary to it's Prerogative 't is absolute and allowes but few priviledges to the Subject but those most wholesome and pleasant and for this little extravagance you have proposed I think it so Innocent especially reguarding the design that leads you that I protest I am fond of it my self Come along then said Ariadne let 's to my Brothers Chamber and dress 't is now about three a Clock and Evander that was her Brothers name is just gone out to take a Bottle before Play-time How know you tâ—â—t said her Cousin As I sate in my Closet reply'd Ariadne I heard him ask if the Coach were ready 't was answer'd yes upon which he went down stairs This blessed opportunity must not escape us by 〈◊〉 means said her loving Second Without making any more words therefore they went directly to Evanders Wardrobe 〈◊〉 fitted themselves with two of the richest and most modish Suits that were there which indeed were very Glorious and fashionable for by the way Evander was a Spark of the first Rate his Father having left above 3000 l. a year clear Estate in Land
the Man I confess continued she turning to Polydor to prevent any further discourse on this matter I have heard before of this old Gentleman but I never gave my self the trouble to be better acquainted with him than by Hear-say You are the happier man Sir said Poloydor for certainly you have avoided giving your self a great deal of Perplexity By this time the Curtain was drawn up and they suffered themselves to be entertained by the Players And truly they did themselves no great Violence for I think 't was a good Play They had however some Discourse between the Acts which perhaps was more Harmonious than the Musick especially to Ariadne who was so extreamly pleased with our younger Brother for so was Polydor that she had engaged to go with him to Lockets after the Play Now ought I in course to give you a Character of this same Polydor and so I will He had lived about thirty Years and those cheifly in Paris and London and a good Christian too was he I mean no Papist nor yet a Presbyterian but perhaps of Mr. Lestrange's Faction if I may call the Church of England a factious Party but pardon me I think it more proper to name those so who dissent from it For pray take notice I mean to represent him as he was a very honest brave Gentleman of a good Family well educated and of good natural Parts for his Singing and Dancing I cannot say much but of his Poetry the Town has had sufficient opportunities to Judge He was as handsome too as the best Here I have ever seen upon our Stage Not so cruel as Almanzor nor yet so timerous as Sir Nicholas Culley Not so vain as Sir Fopling nor so plain as my worshipful friend Justice Cloapate In short he was a very deserving man you may believe for I have drunk some Bottels with him He had an excellent virtue too besides all these which you will have occasion to observe I mean his Constancy This was therefore the Man on whom our fair Amazon had already thrown her self away To Lockets therefore they went in a Coach together where my dear friend Polydor lost twenty Guinneys which both the Masquerading Ladies were witnesses of but they observed him so undisturbed at it that they concluded him a Stoick Said Ariadne to him Tempt your Fortune 〈◊〉 once more here are some Guinneys at your service Pulling out a Purse that held forty or fifty truly I cannot tell which I thank you Sir said Polydor very obligingly but I must not accept them I have lost already what I proposed to my self to hazard besides I am yet so much a Stranger to you that I ought not in modesty to receive so great an obligation of you for I have not as yet forgotten that the Philosopher said Qui beneficium accepit â—â—ent aâ—om vendidit Pray what is that Sir in English said Miranda O Sir replied Polydor I am sensible of my want of breeding and I know it was an Errour to speak Latin in Gentlemens Company especially in such a Place No matter said Ariadne since we know Sir you will not accept of my Service But proceeded she I have a proposition to make to you if you can find in your heart to divorce your self from this good Company and drink a Bottle or two with my Cosin and me in another Room I could wish you would Sir said Miranda for I vow to you I am uneasy among so many Strangers Call then for another Room said Polydor and I will wait on you immediately Gentlemen I will but just take my leave here They did so after having made their Conge to our Gamesters and expected him not long but no sooner were they gone e're one enquired who they were Another whether they would Play A third what Estate either of them had And how long he had known them Nay god said he I have not been long acquainted with them tho one of them is a Relation of mine which was that cry'd his friend Harry Why he that offered me Money answered Polydor. Dam thee for a Coxcomb said his other friend Tom for refusing it No no interrupted our third Gamster I fancy he has better Business with him hereafter You may swear it Will said Polydor the Gold and I had not parted else at least this Night for be pleased to take notice I should not have played an Ace more Well However sit down and drink a little more for the Money thou hast lost already said honest Will No faith cry'd Polydor going out I am engaged He went directly to his new Acquaintance who perhaps were very glad to see him so punctual and after having saluted him a fresh said Ariadne Let us now lay aside all formality for if you please Sir I mean to be very intimately acquainted with you A pretty sort of a Phrase had he known who spoke it It will undoubtedly be my unhappiness if I be not said Polydor. You do not know cry'd she very pleasantly how it would contribute to the whole felicity of my Life if you vvould but endeavour it Hovv do you mean Sir ansvvered Polydor by the vvay of Question I mean said she that all things might be in common betvveen us tvvo For believe me I vovv it most sacredly to you vvere I a Woman you are the only man I must love Hovvever I vvill novv make you an offer that may not happily be vvholly disadvantageous to you though it vvill add much to my Quiet Dear Sir Interrupted Polydor pray spare your Complements and assoon as you please propose if you can what I dare refuse to you Come To the Business to the Business Cousin said Miranda You shall know then Sir continued Ariadne I have a Cousin that is a rich Heiress being at present possessed of twelve hundred pounds a year in Land besides some thousand pounds in Money and Jewels her Person is Tolerable I think at least it is so if mine may be thought so for we are more like than any other two you ever saw Her humour I think exceeds that Pardon me interrupted Miranda they are both so excellent that it is no easie matter to determine which is most Beautiful and Charming She is obliged to you said Ariadne her Age continued she addressing her self to Polydor is the same with mine being very near Seventeen You may believe in these Circumstances she could never want the Addresses of many Persons and those perhaps of no mean Quality But she is very curious in the choice of that fatal thing we call a Husband for I dare swear for her she means to make no Property of him but to love him as immoderately unmodishly and aâ— virtuously as ever Husband was loved in the old Sacramental days of Matrimony And were she mine interrupted Polydor I would love her so heartily she should almost complain on it Not that I mean to kill her with kindness for if I should attempt that I die first my self but I
But I don't care for 't at second hand Lord cry'd Polydor lifting up his Hands and Eyes what a delicate reasonable Wife have I got I warrant continu d he looking pleasantly on Ariadne you could be satisfy'd barely with Kissing Eating and Drinking with me Nay I can't tell that said she But I see you are providing against the worst No no Dear Heart cry'd Polydor transported with Joy for the best for the best Ariadne Nay said she I know ne'r another of the Name besides my self and if all these pains be taken for me I am much oblig'd to you for methinks you sweat at it I shall before we ha' done said he no doubt Thus did they eat and talk till they were weary of both The Cloth was taken away and the Glass went round merrily as long as one Bottle lasted Then fell Polydor to kissing again Till he made both himself and his Lady mad And I 'm afraid he did not a little disoblige Miranda who was fain to go humming about the Room to divert the Thoughts that sometimes did Assault her Well now cry'd Ariadne I swear I can endure no longer Pray sit farther and let us parley a little You may remember continued he you gave me a Ring to day Ay said he I fancy I did what of that Only I mean to return your kindness said she pulling of a Rich Diamond-Ring of her finger pray wear this for my sake And now continued she I must beg you would Entertain your self with the Bottle till our Return for my Cosin and I must be private for a Minute or two And that you may not altogether be Drinking pray take the pains to tell over this Gold said she throwing a Purse full on the Table There should be a Hundred peices See Sir Your Servant for a time Nay nay said Polydor I like the Employment pretty well since I must be rob'd of thy dear Company so long as these two Minutes Good Sir said Miranda don 't be Jealous I 'le be your Argus If I thought my Ariadne needed Watching replied he I would e'en leave her to the wide World And her own Roving humour This he spoke Kissing her she dropt him a Cursey and out she went with Miranda He presently fell to telling the Broad peices which he found exact y an Hundred in Number He put them up very carefully and laid them again on the Table And took a March three or four times about the Room At last he bethought himself and takes to the Bottle Well honest Polydor said he her 's to thee Thy dear Ariadnes good health But I gad methinks she stays sweetly He drank off his glass and expected almost a quarter of an hour longer with indifferent Patience But seeing no Ariadne come yet he called up a Waiter and asked him where the two Ladies were that went down about half an hour ago They took Coach Sir said the Waiter assoon as they left you Why 't is Impossible Thou art Drunk sure Saying so He took up the Gold in all hast and ran down to the Bar to be more fully satisfied of his Misfortune which he was too soon He ran up into the Room again like a man distracted where he shut the Door to himself and fell a railing at all Women kind What! fitted thus said he 't is very devilish What a dam'd Sot was I to lâ—t her go But rather what an Eternal Coxcomb to Marry such a Jilt This is no more Ariadne I warrant than I am Ariadne 'T is impossible a Person of her Quality and Education should be guilty of so lewd an Action Where the Devil should she go Or what Business had she but with me I find I am meerly drawn into a Prison Ay ay shee 's in Debt I 'le lay my Life on it and I must suffer the weight of all the Actions that are laid against her So hey for a Prison But may she not happily be gone to her Brothers Then shall I look on my self as a rash Jealous Fop. Well continued he I am resolved I 'le see Immediately upon this thought he flies down Stairs calls for a Bill but he was answered 't was all paid Paid Ha! marry said he to himself I like the Matter the better for this Come come Chear up my Heart All may be well yet He call d presently for a Coach and on he drives to Sir Francis's but just as he came near the House his Courage fail'd him and he was set down within five or six doors of it He stood still sometime considering what he should do whether it were Convenient to go directly thither and ask for her or to pretend a Visit to her Brother and so learn in discourse what was become of Ariadne But at last he bethought himself of a better Expedient He knocked at the door and asked if his Friend were there with whom he drank in the Morning The Footman that opened the door told him he was just risen from Dinner with Sir Francis Prithee then tell him said Polydor I would speak with him here The Footman did so and presently led him to Polydor. O my dear Friend said Polydor with a great deal of Concern I must needs drink another Bottle with you this Minute you shall not deny me I am so very Melancholly and out of humour that you will be very unkind if you do Well said he I 'le but just make my baise les mains to Sir Francis and stay one half hour with you He just went in and return'd to his perplex'd Friend They went to the same House again where they drank their Mornings Draught together And Polydor began his Circumlocutions before he came to the business Dear Friend said he how happy am I to meet thee again at a time when I stood in most need of thy Company I have met with un untoward Accident since I left thee which has so disturb'd me I cannot yet Compose my self But come continu'd he Help me to divert the thought on 't Let 's drink and talk of things indifferent When saw you the Beautiful Ariadne whom you so lowdly commended in the Morning Not since last Night answered his Friend she went out o' Town this Morning before seven a' Clock as far as St. Albans to a Cousin of hers who is taken desperately ill one whom she loves most dearly Sir Francis went with her himself as far as High-Gate She had an Hackney-Coach and four Horses that waited on her thither empty till she left her Brother Ha! said Polydor does she go often out of Town has she such frequent Excursions She 's hardly at Home reply'd his Friend three days in a Week together A pretty sort of a Lady cry'd Polydor Is it a he Cousin or a she Cousin she 's gone to Visit A very pretty Lady 't is ile assure you said he Why dost not thou strike in with this same Ariadne or with some of her fine Cousins said Polydor. O she 's too great for
or fearing the Vermin that might assault him Now if I had been he I would rather have sat down and drank with my Horse than have ventured my Boots in so suspicious a Place For all my delight is in clean Linnen as the VVench said when she washed her dish-Clout But he not at all Curious Sollicitous Anxious or uneasy for his Apartment began a large and bitter Satyr against VVomen and concluded with no great Encomium of his own Discretion Ah said he was ever man so Credulous so easily deluded by a little Lewd â—ilting Scrumpet O Beast and which is worst O Cuckold continued he scratching 〈…〉 â—re it did not itch Now had 〈…〉 â—enchify'd and had it been 〈…〉 â—e or Fall of the Leaf it were not Ridiculous to suppose he might have Entertained his fingers ends with a budding Maid or two But I dare assure you he was as sound as a Roach and besides it was Summer Yet tho he was thus tender of his Honour he could not but admire and commend to himself his Ariadnes Beauty and Humour O! cry'd he aloud were not this Creature false for did you mark that 's generally the first word your Jealous or forsaken Lovers call one another had she not been false repeated he she were worth a Thousand such Ariadnes as I saw last yet I must own by the little notice I took of her she was extreamly Beautiful too But continued he all in a rage my Devil is so Charming that if she were already really a Devil as in time no doubt She may she would invite a Saint to her Embraces Well! I am a Cuckold and I le go herd in the City my Horns will not be perceived there at least they may not be so notorious as my Elder Brothers the Deputies of the Ward where I fix Ay Ay pursu'd he and I 'le throw off my Sword and turn as great a Cheat as any Tradesman of them all As great a Rebel and as great an Hypocrite as any Puritan Villain among them nay more added he fiercely I couâ—d almost find in my heart to write-Pamphlets against the D. and call the Kings late most Gracious Deâ—laration a Libel But hold said he coming a little to himself It must not go there No let her be damn'd by her self I will not perswade my self to these Impâ—â—ties lest I keep her Company Ah Polydor continued he what will thy Mother thy Brother thy Sisters and all thy Relations say to this will they not scorn thee will they not point at thee and shun thee For there is nothing in the World so contemptible to each other as Relations when any one of them Miscarries Nay and it carries with it some shew of Reason 'T is a disgrace to the whole Family What says one Marry a VVhore A Jilt O Devil Why I shall become a Town-talk Be sung about the Streets in a Ballad to the tune of Fortune my Foe Married says another with a Plague what need he have Married He always seemed averse to it But I beg your pardon Sir pursu'd he If this Woman had been really what she pretended I would not have been unmarried for an Empire But shee s False and I am Lost Ruin'd and Eternally miserable If all this shou'd be true now that he says there is no body but would pitty him But Well! He said no more for the present only he hurried up and down about the Room most Violently as I have seen a Mouse looking for a hole to escape at In this motion Ariadnes Messenger found him and delivered his Lady's Letter to him which held these words SIR Though you mistook when you thought you had found a Ring and Gold that belonged to me yet I am not mistaken in accusing you as the Man that has stoll'n my Heart and Rob'd me of my Quiet which unless you immediately restore with your Presence I am resolved to haunt you as long as I am Ariadne Hey day cry'd Polydor with a scornful Smile What 's here more sport for Fortune Her Ladyship methinks is merrily disposed at presenâ— Pray honest Friend and fellow Travellor said he to the Footman what does your Lady mean by this Alas Sir reply'd the Footman I thought that Paper had fully discover'd her Intentions to you I am only to entreat you would please to let me wait on you to her Immediately Humh Immediately cry'd Polydor to himself Her Ladyship 's mighty warm on the suddain But I' gad shee 's mistaken her Man as it happens The curse on 't is nothing will go down with me now but that same other false Ariadne How ever I shall oblige her so far for her Brothers sake for Civility's sake and for our Families sake who never refus'd a Visit to a pretty Lady There may perhaps too be more Gold or more Rings coming but I fear I shan't deserve ' em Poor Lady I 'm sorry for her I am an Elder Brother in my humour and cannot drudge for a Livelyhood Well! Come Friend continued he turning to the Footman I 'le go with you so on they walk'd to the Lady where I 'le leave 'em a while His Guide soon Conducted him to the Couterfeit Ariadne who expected him in her Closet assoon as she saw him she was in such disorder and her thoughts were so confus'd that she cou'd not say one word to him She blush'd and cast down her Eyes as if she had really been Guilty of loving him Polydor took notice of it And began shewing her the Billet she sent him If this Paper Madam has discover'd more than you will own be pleased to condemn it to the Flames and Sacrifice it to your Indignation I must confess continu'd he 't is that has occasion'd you the trouble of a second Visit By this time she had pretty well recover'd her self and answer'd him 'T is true Sir that Paper has caus'd the Confusion which perhaps you might observe I was in at the sight of you But if it had not done me the good Office of discovering my dearest thoughts to you believe me I shou'd have had no little difficulty to perswade my self to it And continu'd she I must needs Justify what you have read there But I must Chide you pursu'd she with an obliging Smile I must Chide you Beaufort for calling that a Trouble which is the greatest Obligation you could have done me at present Pray sit said she taking him by the hand they both sat down Polydor fixing his Eyes on hers as if he seem'd to ask them what she would be at You expect perhaps said Dorothea that I should make an Apology for my Modesty which probably you may think I have violated in treating thus familiarly with a Stranger But I shall only say you are very unkind if you do since you were the cause of it your self And give me leave to add 't was Love 't was Almighty Love that forc'd me to this Extravagance Besides pursu'd she I did not know how soon you would
of Piety or some such Book or for ought I know it might as well be torn out of the Famous History of Valentine and Orson which indeed is the most likely of the two For as I understand it was a Quarter of a sheet of Paper on which he wrote a piece of his Mind to the Counterfeit Ariadne giving her notice where she might direct her Commands to him at any time which he dispatch'd to her by a Messenger he found there who undertook to deliver it that Night for a Tester So immediately he mounted and came for London where he Arriv'd about eleven at Night He set up his Beast very carefully and stay'd till he had seen his Bed made and till he had eaten a hearty Supper of Corn. Then God-a-mercy Horse said Polydor and left him to provide for his own self which he did taking Coach and driving directly to his Lodgings where he vow'd Pray'd a little and Sigh'd more so put out his Candle and went to Bed What with Travelling and Vexation he was so tir'd that he slept very soundly till seven the next Morning without the help of Wine When he ' rose he found himself much better for having drank so little the Day past But still he found his Troubles return into his Thoughts as fresh as ever He knew not what in the World to do to ease himself At last he bethought himself of his Friend Marwoud To whom he resolved to discourse his Misfortunes at large and ask his Advice what to do in his miserable Condition For he had fully determined in his Thoughts to drink no more so largely and frequently as he had done hitherto To his mistaken Friend then he go's finds him hardly awake in Bed What! Not awake yet said Polydor drawing open the Curtains Who 's that cry'd Marwoud rubbing his Eyes O Polydor What Return'd already Will you believe your Eyes or no reply'd Polydor you see I am Hardly answer'd Marwoud for faith thou hast made such hast 't is almost incredible to me Since I presume you stay'd some time with your Friends you went to see And for my part I declare to you I don't love to ride so hard But did you not travel some part of the last Night continu'd he I did reply'd Polydor I shou'd not-like that without Company said Marwoud 't is dangerous there are Highway-Men abroad every Night on that Road Besides if it were never so clear of them I shou'd nevertheless be Assaulted by all the Melancholy Thoughts my Soul cou'd muster Ay! interrupted Polydor Those were my Entertainment all the way I never was so melancholy in all my Life added he nor ever had reason to be so How Prithee why said Marwoud sit on the Bed and let me hear the reason You shall said Polydor sitting down I am Marry'd my dear Friend continu'd he embracing Marwoud sighing and almost weeping at every word At last he summon'd all his Resolution and made shift to discourse all his Adventures with Ariadne to him which he did in such pitteous Accents and with such mournful Gestures that Marwoud often sigh'd in Consort with him But perhaps it was more because he understood that Polydor had rob'd him of his Mistress tho he did not know it himself But as if it had been to make him more enraged Polydor shews him the Ring and Gold Ariadne left with him Marwoud soon knew the Purse and the Ring Which made him say coldly On my Word I shou'd think by this she were a Person of Quality but her leaving you so strangely confirms me in a contrary Opinion Polydor then proceeded to tell him how passionately in Love the true Ariadne was with him all along mistaking Dorothea for her But said he tenderly embracing Marwoud again I will have nothing to say to her because I know your Heart is engag'd there How came you to hear that said Marwoud The Foot-man that I overtook on the Road discover'd it to me by a trick I put upon him Well then cry'd Marwoud how do you like the true Ariadne What manner of Woman is she for perhaps continu'd he you may be still deceiv'd That 's impossible replyed Polydor and to convince you that I am not I will describe her to you Her Hair is of a pale brown her Eyes are Gray full and Languishing She Lisps a little and she has a Mole on her left Cheek which become her extreamly Nay nay I 'm sure 't is she Well I am satisfy'd said Marwoud who knew well enough 't was Dorothea â—y the Description He presently imagin'd 't was one of Ariadnes Caprices that set Dorothea to personate her He began to be very uneasy and impatient of Polydor's Stay When Polydor asked him Am not I the most wretched Creature breathing Dost thou not pitty me heartily What shall I do â—rithee assist me And a thousand other things that a man in his Condition might propose He reply'd I believe 't is Nine a Clock I must rise to take Sir Francis ere he go out What shall I drink a Bottle with you at Night I will not fail to meet you at Eight at Lockets or where you will I 'le see you therâ— if you please reply'd Polydor buâ— I can't Drink You dull Dog said Marwood to his Valet de Chambre arâ— these Clothes for this Weather Whaâ— occasion have I to Sweat this Weather more than I must of Necessity Doâ— your Rogueship think I 'm Pox'd yoâ— are but an ill Physitian to prescriâ—â— me a Sweat amid'st all this Heat 〈◊〉 I were The poor Devil answer'd nereâ— word but with all submission imagâ—nable brought him another Suit that look'd a little Cooler He put it on and dressed till he had occasion for his Perruke by ill Luck that which he designed to wear that day was not Comb'd out Defend us How many Dammees How many Oaths How many Insipi'd Rascally Negligent Beasts were there utter'd Polydor observing him out of Humour did not know what certainly to attribute it to but thought it very â—onvenient to leave him Marwood said he good Morrow To Night at Eight at Lockets remember your Servant answered he in the same Tone he had spoken to his Valet de Chambre Down Stairs went Polydor and not long after Marwood took a Chair and went to Sir Francis where he appear'd very much discompos'd all along insomuch thaâ— Sir Francis took partâ—cular Notice of him Marwood said he What the Devil ails thee Thy looks are enough to give the most Costive Body a stool What 's the matter Come impart impart 'T is not wholsome for your knowledge of all Mens reply'd Marwood 't will blister your Ears if I relate it You seem to imply said the Knight that it Concerns me And your words have rais'd my Curiosity to that height that you must explain 'em or I cannot esteem you my Friend My silence answer'd Marwood is now the greatest Argument of my Friendship to you that I can make you I beg you would not
the Knight and Ladys in a very hot Dispute concerning the Constancy of Men and the Inconstancy of Women in affairs of Love Marwoud had gotten on Horse-back just as they were beginning to be warm in their Arguments and ordered one of the Footmen to tell Sir Francis if he should ask for him that he was gone to make a Visit to a Drunken friend of his about 7 or 8 Miles thence and that he should not wonder if he did not return to Night for he doubted there might be hot Service Having left this Charge with the Servant he Rode for London with all the Convenient speed that might be where he found himself about Nine a Clock He was so Impatient that he hardly could give himself time to change his Boots for Shoos ere he went to see for Polydor. By good fortune for him he could not light on him that Night But the next Morning early he took him in Bed Polydor said he you must rise I have Business with you This he spoke in a Tone so different from that he used to salute his Friend in formerly that Polydor almost guessed what he intended which made him say Rising Certainly your Business with me is very strange and urgent that you Visit me thus early and with that unusual Roughness which you are not wont to accost me with But continued he I am ready to give my Friends all manner of satisfaction becoming a Gentleman I know it Polydor said Marwoud else I had not given my self the trouble to call you to an Account for an Injury done to a Person of Quality and my most respected Acquaintance I don't know what you mean answer'd Polydor but I 'le give you the best account I can You must restore the Ring and Purse which you pretended was given you by Ariadne How Marwoud said Polydor pretended to be given me And must Restore them Prithee to whom To me reply'd Marwoud No Marwoud cry'd he Not so Bring me to that Ariadne that gave me the Ring and left the Purse with me and you may prevent farther Mischief Talk not of preventing said Marwoud I came to seek it On my word reply'd Polydor you are fonder on 't than I am However I will help you to as much as may satisfie you within this Hour if you please to let me see you behind Clarenden House Well! Good Morrow said Marwoud I 'le expect you there an hour hence He went directly to the place appointed where Polydor after he was dressed according to a laudable Custom which he had always observed threw himself on his Knees and recommended the Care of his Soul and Body to Heaven And I believe if with Honour he might have avoided it he woâ—â—d not have fought any man in cold Blood much less one that had been his Friend He could not yet imagine what obliged Marwoud to demand the Ring and Gold He went considering on the odness of that Mornings Encounter till he came to the aforesaid place where he found Marwoud ready to receive him with all the Gallantry and Resolution of a Generous Enemy Said Polydor I could wish Marwoud that this matter might be otherwise determin'd than by the Sword Especially between us two 'T is in vain reply'd Marwoud drawing The Sword alone must end this Dispute with one of our Lives Forbid it Heaven said Polydor standing on his Guard Marwoud was very Furious and Violent in his Passes which Polydor very calmly put by But Marwoud continuing very eager made one home Thrust and slightly wounded Polydor in his left Arm who immediately threw himself into his enraged Enemy and â—â—â—arm'd him Here Marwoud said Polydor take your Sword I will not injure your Courage so muâ—â— as to expect you sâ—â—â—â—d ask your Life What damn'd misfortunes this cry'd Marwoud receiving his Sword I thank thee Polydor but I must again employ it against thy Life I must be ungrateful continued he my unhappy Circumstances oblige me to it That 's somewhat hard reply'd Polydor however I cannot fear to fight that man a second time whom I have once disarm'd And now Sir added he with a threatning Gesture This bout may be more fatal to you than the former I 'le take it as it comes said Marwoud They both made several Passes and Polydor was run quite through the right Thigh but it was only a Flesh-wound having mist the Sinews This vex'd him heartily and he prest most Vâ—gorously on his Rival insomuch that he made him retreat about two yards of Ground and pursuing his Advantage ran him into the Sword Arm almost as far as his Breast There his Sword was so engag'd that he could not easily get it out mean while Marwoud was shifting his own Sword into his left hand that he might shorten it and run him into the Back but Polydor prevented him by throwing him on the Ground where he took from him both the Swords Marwoud's he stuck into the Earth and broke it short almost to the Hilt Now said he Marwoud thou hast the Reward of Ingratitude farewell if thou canst I 'le send somebody to help thee assoon as I reach the Town No hold said Marwood let me walk with you I have my due and I am satisfied And I thank Heaven that we have both scap'd with Life No thanks to you though Sir said Polydor. They both made shift to get to St. Jamses where they took Coach and were both Carried to the same Chyrurgeon who assur'd 'em there was no great danger on either side but Marwoud's was somewhat the worse When the Wounds were dressed they embraced very kindly and were as good friends seemingly as ever they had been formerly I dare engage that Polydor was real but for Marwoud I can not say much for he plaid him an ill trick after this They parted for the present and went to their several Lodgings About twelve a Clock Sir Francis came in puffing hast to Marwouds whom he found upon his Bed asleep and in a fine breathing Sweat He was going to steal away softly to leave him to his Repose but it seems he could not avoid making so much Noise as waked Marwoud Who 's there cry'd he Your Friend said Sir Francis I 'm glad to see you alive How is it with Polydor Marwoud was amaz'd to hear him ask so pertinent a Question not apprehending how he should know any thing of their last dispute I think Sir said he Polydor is as well if not better than I am I 'm sure his Fortune was But in the name of wonder how came you acquainted with our Difference Ariadne when you were gone was fearful of what might ensue on what she had said to you reply'd Sir Francis and could not rest till she had told me where you were gone which brought us all to Town this Morning by ten a Clock in hopes to prevent what I see is already too severely performed Ay alas cry'd Marwoud with too severe Success on his side Curse on this weak Arm that
belonging to that Blessed place I told you on before who presently seiz'd on both their Swords and wou'd have hall'd Polydor out had he not calmly ask'd 'em what they meant and promised to make no resistance if they cou'd shew any Authority for what they did One of 'em told him he had an Action against him and wou'd shew him the Warrant assoon as they came to any Tavern that he shou'd name and withal like the rest of the wheedling treacherous Fraternity promis'd him all the Civility imaginable provided he wou'd obey the Kings Law Well said he let the Coach-man drive to Fowlers at the Half-Moon The Rascals lik'd that well enough and very obediently trudg'd along by the Coach sides till they came to the place aforesaid Marwoud all along seem'd Amaz'd at this Accident and appear'd as the most Concern'd man of the two Now said Polydor to one of the Officers at whose Suit am I a Prisoner At the Suit of one Sir Tenacious Heedy reply'd the Rascal here 's the Warrant Sir you may read it if you please Certainly friend said Polydor you are mistaken though I confess I find my name here but may there not be more of my name than my self think you for upon my Reputation I never so much as heard of Sir Tenacious Devils name till this time Pray what is he A rich Merchant answered one of the Furies and belongs to the East-India Company Then be satisfied said Polydor I never had Trading with any of the Profession in my Life No Sir that may be return'd one of the Goblins for I suppose it is a Debt contracted by your Lady O damn'd Impostor cry'd Marwoud on a suddain who had instructed this Rogue before It must be so I am confident if the Officers have not mistaken you for another 'T is impossible we should Sir said one of ' em This Adversary was with us when he took Coach at to ther end of the Town and told us this Gentleman was the Debter Dear Harpies said Polydor Smiling How could you forbear your Prey so long O Sir reply'd one you were out of our Territories till you came within Temple Bar where yet we did not think our selves secure enough of you because of the Templars and some desperate Blades that we might have met with in Fleet-street You have reason Sir said Polydor smiling I think here within your Dominions 't is a matter of Imprisonment at least for a Gentleman to draw his Sword in his own defence It scares your whining Zealots out of the little Sense they had Besides they are always apprehensive of their own Guilt and fear the Punishment they might reasonably expect from the Sword for their Rebellious Seditious and mutinous Endeavours against the Royal Prerogative I 'le tell you continued he all in a flame not so much for his own Circumstances as with Zeal for his Prince I will not be Prisoner within these wicked Walls within this City in whose Great Streets and highest Places the best of Kings O hellish Riddle That Glorious Martyr for the Liberty of his People was proclaim'd a Traitor I say I will not be confin'd to herd one Week to amend with 'em lest I get the Infection at least if a Hundred pounds will remove me to the Kings-Bench I will not Why the Devil could not my Kt. Merchant Adversary have taken me at our end of the Town Was there a Necessity that I must be brought hither to this Stage where the factious Schismaticks are playing the old Gaim again with some of the same Cards only the Knaves are all Chang'd where little Machiaville is playing his Pranks A worthy Puss indeed But there are Dogs that may Worry him at last While he rav'd thus and Marwoud walk'd frowning about the Room The Officers you may be confident were not Idle they had top'd off a matter of Seven or Eight Bottles of Canary and devour'd the best part of two Neats-Tongues At last one of them beg'd leave of his Gut to speak to Polydor. Well Sir said he What do you propose will you send for Bail Send for a Whore Sir I 'le go to Prison cry'd Polydor O fy said Marwoud do not think on 't If I thought my Bail would be taken I would offer you my Service O by no means dear Friend replyed Polydor Embracing the Snake I am resolved to stand it out my self Then Interrupted one of the Troublesome Attendants Since your Worship will go to Prison yet however you shall not go into the Compter but if you please you may Lie at a Prison House over against it till you have Composed this Business No Sir I 'le go to the Compter upon my word reply'd Polydor. Indeed you shall not nor must not said Marwoud who wished nothing more in the World than that he might Roâ— there What Exquisite Mischeif may be done with the face of Friendship I am sorry answered the true and faithful Polydor I must be obstinate but I have some Reasons for it Now the Duce take me If I know what Reason he cou'd have for it Unless it were to avoid the Extortions of a Sponging House which nevertheless had he been in the Compter so often as I he wou'd have endur'd rather than have seen the inside on 't Indeed Sir I wou'd not advise you to go into the Compter you will find it very disagreeable to your humour The Prisoners there will be all ready to tear you in pieces for Guarnish said one of the Officers I shall prevent 'em Sir for I 'le pay it said Polydor. Nay if you please to like it Sir Reply'd one of 'em whose Brother in Law kept a Sponging House you may go into the Prison But there 's the Turnkeys Fee and seven shillings a Week for a dirty dark hole with Cobwebs about your Bed instead of Curtains When if you wou'd be persuaded Sir you may lie in as good a Bed as my Lord Mayor and have what Meat and Drink you please and Dress'd how you please besides the Liberty of walking down into the Dining Room But I must pay for it Sir Interrupted Polydor I shall have there my Landlord who perhaps Drinks like a Dane Cringes like a French man Grins like my Lady's Monkey when he sees Money coming but if that be not ready he looks as surly as a Butchers Dog or as the Butcher himself who is the rudest Beast of the two His Company I shall never fail of then one or two of your Worships will come to Visit me three or four times a day and make me as uneasy as this Sir Booby that Arrests me will be when he hears I 'm gone over to the Kings-Bench No Sir I am bound for the Compter there I 'le treat my fellow Prisoners that want a Bottle of Wine and a lusty Joint of Meat 'T will be well bestow'd How long is it since you have had so good knowledge of these Houses you have describ'd said Marwoud I hope you never
Polydor I am a very unfortunate Fellow indeed For the loss of a Friend grieves me a thousand times more than my Imprisonment But continu'd he did he say I ow'd him any Money No Sir replyed the Serjeant he told us the Debt was real and Contracted by a Lady whom you had lately Marry'd This is all a Riddle to me said Polydor But I thank you Gentlemen for your Information I find I am made the sport of Fortune of late I was a happy Fellow and at Liberty once But now Well! Gentlemen your Servant I thank you for this Liberty Why Sir will you be going already said he who Invited him into the Lodge Dinner is just a coming I believe by this time Be pleas'd then Gentlemen reply'd Polydor to feed heartily when it do's come and Invite some of your Friends in the House to eat with you that want it most at least be pleased to send 'em what you think fit for my part I care not for eating I must mind my own business I see And pray let me entreat the favour of you to let me have a careful Messenger sent to me and you shall command me as much another time if I ever am in a Capacity of serving you Ay Sir wee 'l be sure to send you a very honest Fellow answer'd one of 'em but we are sorry you will not Dine when you have already given order for Meat I thank you Sir said Polydor I have business of greater concern than Dining once more your Servant The Gate was soon open'd to him you may believe and to his dark Apartment he went directly Where after two or three hearty Sighs he began How shou'd Marwoud come acquainted with my Ariadne How came she to employ him And how durst he undertake so base a thing as to betray his Friend Yet what made him fight me for the Ring and the Gold What Title had he to either of ' em 'T is a strange Mystery profound and dark And I am lost in 't He must know my False Ariadne if he did really betray me to this place that 's certain Ariadne did I call her A very Improper Name it is methinks for her For she has led me into a Labyrinth I see all Ariadnes are not of the same humour Her Name sake bravely led her Lover forth spite of a Cruel Father Ventur'd all and lost her self at last for a false Man When I Disarm'd and naked of deceit have got into the Labyrinth and met the Monster So much for Honesty So much for Truth But O! How much for rash Credulity Had I been practic'd in the World 's great Arts Treason Rebellion and Hypocrisy cou'd I have nos'd my Prince and to his Teeth have told him that his Power was but painted cou'd I have sworn a Maid into belief of any feigned Love and when I had enjoy'd have thrown the Rifl'd Broad Blown Flow'r behind me cou'd I in my Dear Friends Bosom lying pierce it to reach his Heart and after all cheat Heaven with pretended Piety serve God with lift up Eyes and dismal tone but Heart of Marble sinking down to Hell then I had been a Glorious Devil Then my Prince might ha' been pitty'd the lost Maid have Fruitless Tears with my Friends unrevenged Bloud They 'd only suffer'd O! No I mistake They had been Blessed perhaps and with their Sighs have blasted all my hopes of future Bliss and blown me down to Hell for Heaven sees and is not to be mock'd He fetch'd another deep Sigh at the end of this long Sermon and threw himself on his Bed Within a little after the Fellow came to him to know what Service he had to command him He rose and dispatch'd him away to his three Gaming Friends and being then somewhat tir'd with Grief and not having yet slept well in his new Lodging he fel into a slumber for two or three hours About which time the Messenger return'd with his three Friends He was almost out o' Countenance when he saw 'em and hardly knew how to receive ' em At last said Will Why how now Polydor What brought thee hither E'en my own Folly replyed Polydor you will not pitty me when you hear it However I must discourse it to you that you may give me your Advice you must know then I 'am Marry'd Marry'd cry'd all three in a strange Surprize Ay Marry'd continu'd Polydor and to one of the most Beautiful Creatures breathing One whom I wou'd not leave for the Empire of the World were she but really what she seem'd You appear Amaz'd at what I say pursu'd he but sit ye down and I will relate you the whole Adventure 'T is pure Knight Errantry that you must take notice of before hand Then he began and told 'em every Circumstance till the very Minute that they came to him They heard it with a great deal of Patience and Wonder but with no little trouble for their Friends sake I 'm sorry said Will you are fallen into the hands of Sir Tenacious Heedy I have heard he 's a meer Jew to any Man that ows him Money No Pox on 't cry'd Harry Nothing troubles me but that he is Marry'd And what 's worse added Tom that he shou'd throw himself away without ever so much as asking the advice of any of his Friends You see Friend said Harry what comes of Weddings Pox take me if I can pitty you for the heart of me Why were there not Wives enow in the Town of other Mens but you must needs get one of your own And added Will to believe a little Rascally Lad in a matter of such moment A likely piece of business indeed cry'd Harry that a Lady of twelve hundred a Year and some thousands in Money and Jewels shou'd dispose of her self on such a Person as thine There had been some reason had some probability that I might have had such Fortune I might justly expect it Yes from such a Lady as Sycorax in the Tempest with a Dowry of Enchanted Lands cry'd Tom which you may take Possession of when you can discern ' em No Faith continu'd he to give the Devil his due Polydor has the advantage of us all that way Ay reply'd Harry and to give the Devil his due he 's the silly'st Devil that ever I heard of Come You are Merry Gentlemen at my Cost interrupted Polydor but this is nothing to my Liberty this is no Advice tho 't is what I did really expect from you Advice cry'd Harry why prithee send for thy Wife Ariadne with her Clue if thou know'st whither I believe she 's gone to my Sycorax for their Lands lie very near together No no interrupted Tom I rather imag n Bacchus has taken her up too into Heaven he 's an old Dog at Ariadne's You shall see he 'l fetch Sir Francis's Sister and all shortly Enough enough of this cry'd Will very soberly Let 's think what 's to be done Why I 'l tell you my opinion