good-man let them say what they list we are neuer a whit the worse for their words we haue enough to doe with our money though we spend it not in apparell you knowe wife when we met together we had no great store of houshold stuffe but were fain to buy tâ—… afterward by some and some as God sent mony and yet you see we want many things that is necessary to be had besides the quarter day is neere and my Landlord you know will not forbeare his rent moreouer you see how much it costs me in law about the recouering of the Tenement which I should haue by you God send me to get it quickly or els I shall haue but a bad bargaine of it for it hath already almost cost me as much as it is worth At these words his wiues coller begins to rise whereupon she makes hâ—… this answere Iesus God saith she when you haue nothing else to hit me in the téeth withall yée twit me with the Tenement but it is my fortune Why how now wife saith her husband are you now angry for nothing Nay I am not angry I must be content with that which God hath ordained for me but I wis the time was when I might haue bene better aduised there are some yet liuing that would haue bene glad to haue me in my smock whom you know well enough to be propper young men and therewithall wise and wealthy but I verily suppose I was bewitcht to match with a man that loues me not though I purchased the ill will of all my friends for his sake this is all the good that I haue gotten thereby I may truly say I am the most vnhahpy woman in the world doe you thinke that Law Tom. N. M. who were both suters to me doe kéepe their wiues so no by cochs body for I know the worst cloathes that they cast off is better then my very best which I weare on the cheifest dayes in the yeere I know not what the cause is that so many good women die but I would to God that I were dead too that I might not troble you no more seeing I am such an eie sore vnto you Now by my faith wife saith he you say not well there is nothing that I thinke too good for you if my abillitie can compasse it But you knowe our estate we must doe as we may not as we would yet be of good cheare and turne to me and I will straine my selfe to please you in this or any other thing Nay for Gods sake let me alone I haue no mind on such matters and if you had no more desire therto then I I promise you you wou'd neuer tuch me No wife saith he hoping so with a iest to make hee mery by my honestie I sweare I verily thinke that if I were dead you would not be long without another husband No maruaile sure saith she I lead such a good life with you now By my christian soule I sweare there should neuer man kisse my lipps againe And if I thought I should liue long with you I would vse meanes to make my selfe away herewithall she puts finger in the eye making shew as though she wept Thus plaies she with the sillie sot her husband meaning nothing lesse then to doe as she saies while he poore foole is in mind both wel and ill apaid he thinkes himselfe well because he imagines hee of a cold constitution and therefore exceeding chast he thinkes himselfe ill to sée her fained teares for that he verily supposes she loues him which doth not a little gréeue him being so kind and tender hearted Therefore he vseth all meanes possible to make her quiet neither wil he giue her ouer till he hath effected it But she prosecuting her former purpose which she hath alreadie set in so faire a forwardnes makes as though she were nothing moued with his gentle perswasions Therefore to crosse him she gets her vp betimes in the morning sooner a great deale then she was wont pouting and lowring all the day not giuing him one good word But when night comes and they againe both in bed laying her selfe sullenly downe and continuing still silent the good man harkens whether she sléep or no feeles if she be wel couered or not he softly plucks vp the cloaths vpon her lapping her warme being dubble diligent to please her ying all this while winking noting his kindnes and carefulnes towards her séemes on a suddaine to awake from a sound sléepe gruntling and â—…ssing under the shéets giuing him occasion thereby thus to begin How now swéet hart what are you a sléepe A sléepe saith she I faith sir no a troubled mind can neuer take good rest Why womaÌ„ are you not quie yet No doubt saith she you care much whether The or no. By lady wife and so I doe and since yesternight I haue bethought me hauing well considered your words that it is very meete and requisite that you should be better furnished with apparell then heretofore you haue bene for indéed I must confesse thy cloaths are too simple And therfore I mean against my cousin M. wedding which you know wil be shortly that you shall haue a new gowne made on the bell fashion with all things sutable thereunto in such sort that the best woman in the parish shall not passe you Nay quoth she God willing I mean to go to no weddings this twelue moneths for the goodly credit I got by the last By my faith â—…aith he but you shall what you must not be so headstrong and selfe-wild I tell you if I say the word you shall goe and you shall want nothing that you aske or require That I aske alas husband quoth she I aske nothing neither did I speake this for any desire that I haue to goe braue trust me for mine oâ—…ne part I care not if I neuer stirre abroad saue onely to church but what I said was vpon the spéeches which were there vset and such other like words which my gossip N. told me that she had also heard in company where she was With these words y e good kind foole her husband is netted for on the one side he considers his sundry other occasions to vse meney and his small store thereof which is perhaps so stender that his single purse cannot extempery change a double pistolet And so ill bested is he of houshold stuffe that perhaps the third part is not a sufficieÌ„t pawne for so much money as this new suite of his wiues will stand him in But on the other side he waighes her discontent the report of neighbours spéeches and lastly how good a wife he hath of her how chast how louing how religious whereof the kind Asse hath such an opinion that he thankes God with all his heart for blessing him with such a Iewell In this thought he resolues that all other things set aside he must and will content her And here with all
forted to take extreame toyle and paines and yet for all this thankes God for vouchsafing him so great a grace as to be matcht with her If now and then they grow to â—…ot words together as ofte it happens then presently in vpbraiding and menacing sort she tels him that herfriends did not match her to him to be his drudge and that she knowes well enough of what linage she is come and will brag withall that when she list to write to her friends and kinsmen they will presently fetch her away Thus doth she keepe him in awe and in a kinde of seruitude by telling him of them who would perhaps haue matcht her better and not with him but for some priuie scape that she hath had before whereof the poore soule knowes nothing or if perhaps he hath heard some inkling thereof yet because he is simple the credit that he might giue thereunto is quickely dasht by a contrarie tale of others subbornd by them who perchance will not sticke to sweare that this is a slaunder raised by euill tongues and forged malitiously against her as the like is done against many other good women whose good names are wronged and brought in question by bad persons on their tipling bench because themselues cannot obtaine their purpose of them notwithstanding if her husband be not able to maintaine her according to her minde then will she be sure to haue a friend in store that shall afford it her if her husband denie it and in the end she remembers that such a Gentleman at such a feast proffered her a diamond or sent her by a messenger some 20 or thirtie crownes which she as then refused but now purposeth to giue him a kind glance to renew his affection who conceiuing some better hope and méeting soone after with her chamber maid as she is going about some busines cals to her saying Sister I would faine speake with you Sir quoth she say what you please You know quoth he that I haue long loued your mistresse without obtaining any fauour but tell me I pray you did she neuer speake of me in your hearing In faith sit saith she neuer but well I dare sweare she wishes you no harme Before God sister saith the Gentleman if you will shew me some kindnes herein and doe my commendations to your mistresse assuring her of my loue and loyaltie it shall be worth a new gowne vnto you meane while take this in earnest with that he offers her a péece of gold She then making a lowe cursie sayth Sir I thanke you for your good will but I will not take it By my faith saith he but you shall and with that he forceth it on her adding these words I pray you let me heare from you to morrow morning She being glad of such a bootie hyes her home and tels her mistres how she met with a Gentleman that was in a passing good vaine and to be short after some questions vsed by her mistres it appeares to be the very same man whom she would faine intrap I tell thée saith she to her maide if he be as kinde as he is proper he were worthie to be any womans loue Beléeue me mistres saith the maide his very countenance shewes that he is kind it séemes that he was onely made for loue and withall he is wealthie and thereby able to maintaine her beautie and her person in brauerie whom he affects By this light saith the mistres I can get nothing of my husband The more vnwise you saith the maide to be so vsed Alas quoth she what should I doe I haue had him so long that I cannot now set my heart on any other Tush quoth the maid it is a folly for any woman to set her heart so on any man for you know they care not how they vse vs when they are once Lords ouer vs. Beside your husband though he would yet cannot maintaine and kéepe you according to your degrée but he of whom I speake will furnish and maintaine you gallantly what garments soeuer you will haue and what colour and fashion soeuer you like best you shall presently haue it so that there wants nothing else saue onely a quaint excuse to my Maister making him beléeue you had it by some other meanes By my troth quoth her mistres I know not what to say Well mistres saith the maid aduise you well I haue promist to giue him an answere to morrow morning Alas saith the other how shall we doe Tush mistres answeres the maid let me alone As I goe to morrow to the market I am sure he will watch to meete with me that he may know what newes then I will tell him that you will not agrée to his desire for feare of discredit this will giue him a little hope and so we shall fall into further talke and I doubt not but to handle the matter well enough According to promise next morning to market she hies somewhat more earely then she was wont and by the way she méetes with this lustie gallant who hath waited for her at least thrée houres he hath no sooner spyed her but he presently makes towarde her and at her comming thus salutes her Sister good morrow what newes I pray and how doth your faire mistresse Ifaith sir saith she she is at home very pensiue and out of patience I thinke that neuer any woman had such a froward husband Ah villaine saith he the diuell take him Amen saith the maide for both my mistresse and all the seruants are wearie with tarrying with him Out on him slaue saith he but I pray you tell me what answere gaue your mistresse touching my sute In faith quoth she I spake vnto her but she would not agrée thereunto for she is wonderfully afraide to purchase her selfe discredit and is beside plagued with such a froward and suspitious husband that although she were neuer so willing yet could she not being continually watcht by him his mother and brethren I thinke on my conscience vnlesse that it were that she spake to you the other day the poore woman talkt not with any man these foure moneths yet she speakes very often of you and I am well assured that if she would bend her minde to loue she would choose you before all men in the world He being rauished with these words râ—…lies thus Swéete sister I pray you be my friend herein and I will alwaies rest at your command In good faith saith she I haue done more for you alreadie then euer I did for any man in my life And thinke not saith he that I will be vnmindfull of your kindnes but what would you counsell me to doe Ifaith sir saith she I thinke it best that you should speake with her your selfe and now you haue an excellent opportunitie for my maister hath refused to giue her a gowne whereat she stormes not a little you shall doe well therefore to be to morrow at the Church and there
lesson taught them well enough knowing by custome how to behaue themselues to wearie their maister well he comes home to his aforesaid friends calls presently for some of his seruants but one of the maides make answere of whom he demaunds whether all things be readie In good faith sit my mistresse is very sicke and here is no body else can doe any thing with that he being angry â—…des his friends into the hall or some other place according to his estate where he findes neither fire made nor cloath laide Iudge then in what a taking he is although it may be that his friends perceiued by the sending of his man that his commaundements were not of such force as an act of parliament The good man being ashamed calls and gapes first for one man then for an other and yet for all this there comes none except it be the scullion or some chare woman that both vse his house whom his wife hath left there of purpose because shée knew they could serue to doe nothing Being herewith not a little mooued vp he goes into his wiues chamber and thus speakes vnto her Gods precious woman why haue ye not done as I wild ye Why saith she you appoint so many things to be done that I know not what to doe Before God saith he and with that scratches his head you haue done me a greater displeasure then you thinke these are the dearest friends that I haue and now here is nothing to set before them Why quoth she what would you haue me to doe I wis if you cast your cards well you shall finde that we haue no néede to make banquets I would to God you were wiser but sith you will needes be so lustie euen goe through with it your selfe on Gods name for I le not meddle with it But what the diuellment ye saith he to send all the seruants abroad Why quoth she what did I know that you should néede them now yet did she knâ—…w it will enough and had of purpose sent them forth on â—…eeuelesse arrands the more to anger and despight him who seeing that he can preuaile nothing giues ouer talking to her and gets him downe in a bitter chafe for it may be that his guestes be of such account and he so much beholding vnto them that he had rather haue spent a hundred crownes then it should so haue fallen out But she cares not a whit being well assured that howsoeuer she thwarts him he will hold his hands and in scolding she knowes her selfe to be the better To be short the poore man being vexed with shame and anger runnes vp and downe the house gets as many of his seruants together as he can If his prouision be but slender at hoâ—… he sendes presently abroad in the meane while he calles for a cleane towell the best table cloath and wrought napkins But the maide answeres him that he can haue none Then vp to his wife goes he againe and tels her that his friends doe intreate her to come downe and bare them companie shewing her what a shame it is and how discourteously they will take it if she come not And finally he vseth all the fairest speeches that he can to haue her come and to welcome and entertaine them for his credites sake Nay in faith quoth she I will not come they are too great states for my companie and no doubt they would scorne a poore woman as I am It may be shée will goe but in such sort and with such a countenance that it had bene better for him she had not come at all for his friends will somewhat perceiue by her lookes and gesture that howsoeuer they be welcome to the good man she had rather haue their roome then their company But if she refuse to come as it is the more likely then will he aske her for the best to well table-cloth and napkins Napkins quoth she as though those that be abroad alreadie be not good enough for greater and better men then they are when my brother or any of my kinsmen come which are I wis their equals in euery respect they can be content to be serued with them but were these your guestes neuer so great yet could I not now fulfill your request though my life should lie on it for since morning I haue lost my keyes of the great chest where all the linnen lies I pray you bid the maide looke for them for in good truth I know not what I haue done with them and no maruell for I haue so much to doe that I know not how to bestir my selfe well I wotte I haue spoyled my selfe with continuall care and trouble Now in good faith quoth he you haue drest me fairely but it is no matter Before God â—…le breake open the chest Now surely then quoth she you shall doe a great act I would faine see you doe it I would for my part you would breake all the chestes in the house The poore man hearing her in these termes knowes not well what to doe but takes that which he next lightes on and therefore shifts as well as he can he causeth his guestes to sit downe at the table and because the beere then a broach is on tilt and therefore not very good he bids one of the seruants broach a new barrell and fill some fresh drinke but then there is neither tap nor spigget to be found for his wife of purpose hath hidden them out of the way Towards the end of the dinner he cals for cheese and fruite but there is none in the house so that he is faine to send to the neighbours for the same or else be vtterly destitute meane while his boy being at the table with the guestes at last tels them how his mistresse faines her selfe sicke because she is not pleased with their maisters comming Well when bed time comes he can get no cleane sheetes nor pillowbeeres because forsooth the keyes are lost so that they must be content to lie in those that be foule and haue bene long laine in The next morning they get them gone betimes séeing by the good wiues countenance that they are nothing welcome By the way their Lackies tell them what the Gentlemans boy reported whereat they laught hartily yet finde themselues agréeued vowing neuer to be his guest any more The husband also getting him vp betimes in the morning goes presently to his wife and thus begins By Iesus wife I muse what you meane to vse me thus I know not how to liue with you Then she replies saying Now God for his mercy am I so trouble some God wot I am euery day poore soule troubled with kéeping your hogs your geese your chickens I must card I must spin continually kéepe the house looke to the seruants and neuer sit still but toyling vp and downe to shorten my daies and make me die before my time and yet I cannot haue one houres rest or quietnes with you
feare of discredit for thereby her name might haue bin brought in question therefore all things considered she doth vnwillingly God knowes let him supplie her husbands place garnishing his temple for pure good will with 〈◊〉 badge Thus hath she got a newe Gowne which her good man refused to giue her to bleare whose eyes and kéepe him from suspition she gets her mother in her Husbands sight to bring home the cloch and giue it her as though it were her cost and least also she should suspect any thing she makes her belieue she bought it with the money which she got by selling odde commodities which hér Husband knewe not of But it may be and oft happens so that the Mother is priuy to the whole matter and a furtherer thereof After this Gowne shee must haue another and two or thrée silken embrothered gyrdles and other such costly knacks which the Husband seeing will in the end suspect somwhat and begin to doubt of his wiues honestie or shall perhaps receiue some aduertisement hereof from some Friend or Kinsman for no such matter can be long kept close but in the end wil by some means or other be made knowne and discouered Then falls he into a fâ—…antick vaine of Iealousie watching his Wiues close packing and for the better finding of it out hée comes home on a sudden about midnight thinking then to discouer all and yet perhappes may misse his purpose Another time comming in at vnawares he seeth some thing that he likes not and then in a Furie falles on railing but be sure that she answers him home not yéelding an inch vnto him for besides the aduantage of the fight which is waged by her owne trustie weapon her Tongue I meane shee knowing withall that she is of better birth hits him in the téeth therewith and threatens him to tell her Friends how hardly he doth vse her To be short the poore man shall neuer haue good day with her but either with thought of her incontinencie or if he speake to her he is borne 〈◊〉 with scolding lies and despised of his owne Seruants his state tunnes to ruine his wealth decayes his body dries vp and weares away with griefe Hee growes desperate and câ—…elesse Thus is hee plunged in Lobs pound wearied in a world of discontents wherin notwithstanding he takes delight hauing no desire to chaunge his state but rather if he were out and knewe what would follow yet would he neuer rest till he had gotten in againe there to spend and end as now he must his life in griefe and miserie CHAP. VI. The Humor of a Woman that striues to maister her Husband THe next humor wherevnto a Woman is addicted is when the Husband hath got a faire young Wife who is proper and fine in whome hee takes great delight yet perhaps she is bent altogether to crosse and thwart the man being of a kinde and milde nature louing her entierly and maintaines her as well as he can notwithstanding her frowardnesse It may be also that she hath care of his credite and honestie and doth abhorre such leaudnesse as shee of whome we spake before did vse yet hath shee neuerthelesse an extreame desire of Soueraigntie which is knowne a common fault amongst Women and to be her Husbands commaunder and a busie medler in his matters be hee a Iudge a Nobleman or Gentleman she will take vpon her to giue sentence and answere Suters and whatsoeuer shee doeth he must stand to it This is I say a generall imperfection of Women be they neuer so honestly neuer so kindly vsed and haue neuer so much wealth and ease to striue for the Bréeches and be in odde contrarie humours of purpose to keepe her Husband in continuall thought and care how to please her He gets him vp betimes in the morning leauing her in Bed to take her ease while hee stirres about the house and dispatcheth his busines looks to the seruants that they loyter not â—…auseth Dinner to be made readie the Cloth to be laide and when all thinges are ready he sends one to desire her to come downe who brings backe answere that she is not disposed to Dine No saith he I will neither sit downe nor eate a bit till she be here So receiuing his second message by his Maid or perhaps by one of his children replyes thus Go tell him againe that I will not dine to day He hearing this is not yet satisfied but â—…ends likewise the third time and in the ende goes himselfe and thus begins How now what ayles you Wise that you will eate no meate hereto she answeres not a word The poore man maruels to see her in this melancholy dumpe although perhaps she hath plaid this pageant many times before and vseth aâ—… entreatie he may to knowe of her the cause thereof but in vaine for indéed there is no cause at all but onely a méere mockerie Sometimes she will persist so obstinately in this humor that for all the perswasions and kindnesse that he can vse she will not come Sometimes it may be she will and then he must leade her by the hand like a bride and set her chaire readie for her meane while it is so long before he can get â—…er downe that the meate is cold when it comes to the table Being set she will not eate one bit and he séeing that like a kinde Asse will â—…ast likewise whereat she smiles inwardly hauing brought him so to her bowe first in crossing him then in making him to fast from dinner wherein to say the truth she hath reason for what néedes a woman to seeke his fauour who doth alreadie loue her and shew her all the kindnes that he can Sometimes the good man ryding abroad about his businesse méetes with two or thrée of his friends with whom perhaps he hath some dealings and hath bene long acquainted with them It may be also that he inuites them home to his house as one friend will doe to another and sends his man before to his wife to make all things readie in the best sort that she can for their entertainment the poore seruingman gallops in such hast that both himselfe and his horse is all on a sweate when he comes home he doth his arâ—…and to his mistresse telling her withall that the guests which his maister brings are men of good account Now by my faith saith she I will not meddle in it he thinkes belike that I haue nothing else to doe but drudge about to prepare banquets for his companions he should haue come himselfe with a vengeance and why did he not Forsooth saith the seruant I know not but thus he bad me tell you Go too saith she you are a knaue that meddles in more matters then you haue thanke for The poore fellow hearing this holds his peace she in a fume stings vp into her chamber and which is worse sends out her seruants some one way some another as for her maydes they haue their
but you are alwaies brawling doe nothing your selfe but spend wast your goods and mine with odde Companions What odde Companions satch hee as though you knowe not that these are such men as can either much further or much hinder me It is a signe that you deale very well that you must stand in distrust of such persons â—…erevpon shee takes occasion to raile and scolde all the day long the man being wearied with her waiwardnesse and Age being hasted with griefe and sorrow doth vnawares ouertake him Briefly he is in euery respect wretched but such is his follie that hee reckons his paines pleasure and would not though he might be againe at libertie out of Lobs Pound or if he would it is now too late for he must of force continue there in Care Thought and Miserie till Death make an ende of him and them together CHAP. VII ¶ The humor of a couetous minded Woman THe next humor belonging to a Woman is when the Husband is matched to a modest ciuil woman who is nothing giuen to that thwarting and crossing humour whereof I spake before But be she good or bad this is a generall rule many wiues hold and stedfastly belieue that their owne Husbands are worst of all others It oft happens that when they match together they are both young entertaine each other with mutuall delights so much as may be for a yeare or two or longer till the vigor of youth grow colde But the woman droopes not so soone as the man the reason whereof is because she takes no care thought nor griefe breakes not hor sléepe and troubles not her head as hee doeth but doth wholly addict her thoughts to pleasure and solace I denie not that when a Woman is with Childe shee bides many times great paines and is often verie ill at ease and at the time of her deliuerance shee is for the most part not onely in excéeding paine but also in no lesse daunger of death But all this is nothing to the Husbands troubles on whose handes alone restes the wholecharge and waight of maintaining the house and dispatching all matters which is oftentimes intangled so with controuersies and so thwarted with crosse fortune that the Poore man is tormented with all veration of minde Being thus wearied and as it were worne away with continuall griefe troublous cogitations toyle and trauell haue no minde on any other pleasure whereas shee on the other 〈◊〉 is as lustie as euer she was means while his storke dâ—…ayes and his state growes worse and worse and as that diminisheth so must he perforce shorten her alowance and maintenance which is almost as great a Corosiue to her as the former You may be well assured that this change in him makes her also change her countenance from Mirth and chéerefulnes to lowring Melanthalie seeking occasions of disagreements and vse them in such sort that their former loue and kindnes was not so great as are now their brawles iarres and discords It doth also ofteÌ„times happen that the Woman by this meanes wastes and consumes all giuing leaudly away her Husbands goods which hee with great paines and cares hath gotten The Good-man he goes euery way as neare as hee can and warily containes himselfe within his bounds casting vp what his yearely Reuenues are or what his gaine is by his profession bee it Marchandize or other and then what his expences be which he finding greater then his commings in begins to bite the lip and becomes very pensiue his Wife and he being afterwards priuate together in their chamber he speakes thereof vnto her in this manner In faith Wife I much maruel how it comes to passe that our goods goe away thus I know not how I am sure I am as rarefull as a man can be I can not finde in my heart to bestow a new coate on my selfe and all to saue monie By my troth Husband saith she I do as much maruell at it as you I am sure for mine owne parte that I goe as neere in Housekéeping euery way as I can To be short the poore-man not doubting his wife nor suspecting her ill carriage after long care and thought concludes that the cause thereof is his owne ill Fortune which kéepes him downe and crosseth all his actions with contrary successe but it may be that in processe of time some Friend of his being more cleare sighted in the matter perceiuing all goes not well â—…oeth priuily informe him thereof who being astonished at his report gets him home with a heauie countenance which the Wife seeing and knowing herselfe guiltie begins presently to doubt the worst and perhappes gesseth shrewdly at the authors thereof bâ—…t howsoeuer shee will take such an order that she will be sure to escape the brunt well enough The Good-man will not presently make any wordes hereof vnto her but deferre it a while and trie in the meane time whether he can of himselfe gather any further likelyhood for which purpose hee will tell her that he must néedes ride some tenne or twelue miles out of Towne about some earnest busines Good faith husband saith the I had rather you should send your man and stay at home your selfe Not so wise saith he but I will be at home againe my selfe within these three or foure dayes Hauing told her this tale he makes as though he tooke his tourney but doth priuily lye in Ambush in such a place where hee may know whatsoeuer is done in the house But shee smelling his drift sends word to her sweet-heart that he doe not come in any case and all the time of his dissembled absence shee carryes her selfe that it giues no likelyhood of suspition which the silly man seeing comes out of his Ambush enters his house making as if then he were returned from his iourney and whereas before he lowred now hee shewes a chéerefull countenance being verily perswaded that his Friends report is a méere lye and that hee thinks so much the rather because she doth at his comming run to méete him with such a shew of loue and doth so embrace and kisse him that it seemes impossible so kinde a Creature should play false But long after being in Bedde together he thus speakes to her Wife I haue heard reported certaine wordes that like me not Good faith Husband saith she I know not what is the cause thereof I haue noted this great while that you haue bin very pensiue and was afraid that you had had some great losse or that some of your Friends had bin kild or taken by the Spaniards No saith he that is not the matter but a thing which grieues mee more then any such matter can doe Now God for his mercy quoth shee I pray you Husband let me know what it is Mary wife saith he a friend of mine told me that you kept company with R R. the veriest Ruffian in all the Tolâ—…e and a many other matters be told me of you â—…ere at she câ—…ssing
her selfe in token of admiration though smiling in wardly replies thus Deere Husband if this bee all then I pray you giue ouer your pensiuenes I would to God I were as free from all other sinnes as I am from that Then laying one hand on her head she thus proceedes I will not sweare any thing touching him but I would the Diuell had all that is vnder my hand if I euer touched any mans mouth sauing yours or some of our Friends and Kinsâ—…en or such at least as you haue commanded me Ha ha is this the matter In troth I am glad that you haue tolde me I had verily thought it had bene some greater matter but I know well enogh wherupon these spéeches grew and I would that you did likewise know what mooued him to speake them I know you would not a little maruell because he hath alwaies professed such frienship towards you In good faith I am nothing sory that he hath awaked the sléeping Dog What meane you by that word qd he Nay quoth she be not desirous to know it you shall knowe it soone enough some other time Birlady saith he I le know it now By my troth Husband saith shee I was ofte wonderfully angrie when you brought him in hither yet I forbare to speake of it because I saw you loued him so well But speake now saith he and tell me what the matter is Nay nay quoth she it skills not greatly Goe too wife saith the good man tell me for I will know it Then takes she him about the necke and sweetly kissing him saith thus Ah my deere Husband what Uillaines are these that would seeme to abuse you whome I honor and loue aboue all men in the worke Well Wife saith he I pray thée tell me the man that so misuseth vs. In troth quoth shee that vile dissembling Traitor that flattering tell tale that put this badde report in your eares whome you estéeme so much reposing such great confidence in him he is the only man and none but hee that hath earnestly vrged me any time this two yeares to commit follie with him but God I praise him hath giuen mee grace both to refuse him and his offers although I were continually troubled and importuned by him â—…is when you thought he came hither so often for your sake it was for this cause for neuer a time that he â—…me but he was in hand with me to obtaine his filthy desire till in the end I threatned to tell you of it but I was loath to doe it fearing to bréede a quarrell betweene you so long as I was sure to keepe him from doing you herein any â—…cie beside I had still a good hope that he would at length giue ouer â—…is it was no fault of his that he sped not Gods for my life saith the good man being in a great rage what a treacherous villaine is this I would neuer haue suspected any such matter in him for I durst haue put my life in his hands By this light husband saith shee if euer hee come more within the doores or if euer I may know that you haâ—… any talke with him I le keepe house no longer with you Ah deere husband and with that shée clips and câ—…ls him againe about the necke should I be so diâ—…oyall as to abuse you in this sort so sweete so amiable and so kinde a man who lets me haue my will in all things God forbid I should liue so long to become a strumpet now But for Gods sake husband forbid him your house with whom this knaue hath flaundred me withall yet I would the diuell had me if euer he made such motion to me neuerthelesse by Gods grate hée shall not come henceforth in any place where I am and with that shée beginnes to weepe and hee kinde foole doth appease and comfort her gromising and swearing that he will doe as â—…he will haue him saue onely that he will not forbid him his house with whose companie the other had charged her and withall hee vowes neuer to beléeue any more of these reportes nor so much as to harken to any such tales againe notwithstanding hee still seeles a scruple of suspition in his conscience Within a while he begings to fall at defiance with his honest friend who informed him of his wiues wantonnesse and hee seemes to bee so deepely besotted with her loue that you would saye hee were transformed without inchauntment into Acâ—…ons shape his charge of houshold still increaseth he hath many children and is perplered on euery side but his wife followes her pleasure farre more then before for though it be neuer so openly knowne yet will no man tell him thereof because they know that he will not beléeue them and which is more ridiculous he that abuseth him most shall be best wlecome vnto him of any To be short age will ouertake him and perhaps pouertie from the which he shall neuer be able to raise himselfe Loe here the great good and pleasure that he hath gotten by entring into Lobs pound euery man mockes him some saith it is pittie because he is an honest man others say it is not a matter to be sorrowed for sith it is the common rule of such They of the better sort will scorne his company thus liues he in paine griefe and disgrace which he takes for great pleasure and therein will continue till death cut him off CHAP. VIII The humour of a woman that still desires to be gadding abroad THe next humor of a woman is when the husband hath bene in Lobs pound some fiue or sixe yeares part whereof he hath spent in such pleasures as wedlocke doth at the first affoord but now the date of these delights is out he hath perhaps some thrée or foure children but his wife is now big againe and a great deale worse of this child then she was of any other Whereat the poore man greeues not a little who takes great paines to get her that which she longes for well the time of her lying downe drawes néere and she is wonderfully out of temper so that it is greatly feared that she will hardly escape Then falls he on his kneees and praies deuoutly for his wiâ—…e who soone after is brought to bed wherefore he is not a little â—…ocond making sure account that God hath hard his pâ—…aiers The Gossips kinswoman and neighbours come in troupes to visit and reioyce for her safe deliuerie She for her part wants no good cherishing whereby she recouers her strength and is as fresh and lustie as euer she was After her Churching she inuited by some of her Neighbours who also inuites fiue or six others of her Neighbors and friends who is receiued and feasted with all kindnes which Banquet doth perhaps cost her Husband more then would haue kept the house a whole fortnight Amongst other she propounds a question and makes a match to goe all together to a certaine
estéeâ—… and loue thâ—… chiefest of all other And at his departure he recommends them to the care and curtesie of his chiefest Friendes Yet some there be whose tender harts melt so easily with kind compassion that one of their Wiues teares the leaâ—… of their intreats will tye them so fast by the Legge at home that they will not stirre one foote from her sweet side neither for King nor Keâ—… wealth nor honor These ate Crauens and vnworthy to be â—…lled Gentlemen But to returne to this vallorous and braue minded Gentleman of whome wee spake before it may bee that either by the long continuance of the 〈◊〉 or by his 〈◊〉 in â—…eing taken Prisoner or some other lâ—… hee comes not home in foure or fiue yeares and all that while there is no â—…es of him you may be sure that his Wife is a sorrowfull woman whollie surcharged with griefe being thus deprined of her louing Mate hearing nothing of his estate But all things haue an ende and shee seeing that in so long time shee can heare no tydings of him doth peremptorily conclude that he is dead Then considering to liue comfortles in Widowes estate were an vncoath life she determines to marry her selfe to some one so soone as conuentently she may which will be soone enough for a faire Woman if willing can want no choyce Thus her former sorrow is somewhat alaide and within a while after cleane extinguisht by the fresh delights pleasures contents and sollace which this newe choyce doth yéelde So that now her other Husband is whollie forgotten her Children which shee had by him little regarded and the Goods which belong to them are spent on others while the poore wretches want things néedfull but not blowes hard vsage To be short the teares which she beâ—…owed on her other husband at his departure is dryâ—…d vp her imbraces vanished And whosoeuer should see her with this second Husband and what kindnes shee shewes vnto him would verily thinke that she loues him far better then she did the first who in the meane while is either taken prisoner or else fighting in extreame hazard of his life But in the ende it chanceth so that by paying his Ransome if hee haue bene Prisoner home he comes cleane chaunged through the many troubles he hath had And being come somewhat â—…éere failes not to enquire of his Wife and Children for hee is in great feare that they are either dead or in some great distresse And doubtles in the time of his Imprisonâ—…ent or other dangers hee haue oft thought oft dreamed or them and oft sorrowed for them oft besought God to preserue and blesse them And that perhaps sometimes at the very instant when she was in the others armes toying and dallying and in the middest of her delights Well enquiring as â—…eforesaid heares that thee is married againe then iudge you with what griefe hee heares it But his griefe is bootelesse for now the matter is past remedie if he haue any care of his credite any regard of his estimation hee will neuer take her more though perhaps the other hauing had his pleasure of her could be well content either to restore her to him or to leaue her to any one else Shoe on the otherside is vtterly shamed and her name stained with perpetuall reproch and neither hée nor shée can marry whiles they liue Their poore Children are likewise grieued and shamed at their Mothers infamy Sometimes likewise 〈◊〉 happens that for the Wiues cause the Husband being 〈◊〉 doth quarrel perhaps combat with him who being better then himselfe doth either wound or kill him and the occasion hereof sprung from their Wiues pride because forsooth she will take the wall of the others wife or sit aboue her whome shee 〈◊〉 no wise suffer nor loose an inch of her estate and here vpon the Husbands must together by the eares Thus the supposed blessednes which hee expected by plunging himselfe in Lobs-Paund is turned into sorrow trouble danger and continuall discontent while life doth last CHAP. XIIII The humor of a Woman that hath bene twise married THere is another humor belonging to a Woman which is when a Young man hauing found the way into Lobbes Pound méetes with a Wife of like yéeres fresh lustie Faire kinde and gracious with whom she hath liued two or three yeares in all delightes iores and pleasure that any married couple coulâ—… haue neuer did the one displease the other neuer soule word past betwixt them but they are almost still colling and billing each other like a couple of Dones And Nature hath framed such Simpathy betwéene them that if the one bee ill at â—…ase or discontented the other is so likewiss But in the midst of this their mutuall loue and sollace it chanceth that she dies whereat hee grieues so extreamely that hee is almost beside himselfe with sorrowe hee mournes not onely in his Apparell for an obtward shewe but vnfainedly in his very heart and that so much that hee shunnes all places of pleasure and all companie liues solitarily and spends the time in daily complaintes and mones and bitterly bewailing the losse of so good a wife wherin no man can iustly blâ—…me him for it is a losse worthy to be lamented and a Iewell which whosoeuer hath is happie but this happines is very rare To be short his thoughts are all on her and shee so firmely printeâ—… in his minde that whether he sléepe or wake shee séemes alwayes to be in sight but as all things hath an ende so heere had sorrowâ—… After a while some of his Friendes haâ—…ing spyed out a second match which as they thinke is very fitte for him doe preuaile so much with him through her perswasions that he accepts it and marries himselfe againe but not as before with a young Maide but with a lusty Widow of a middle age and much experience who by the fryall which she had of her first Husband knowes how to handle the second but that she may doe it the better she doth not presentiy discouer her humor till shee haue throughly markt how hee is inclined what his conditions are and what his nature is which finding it mild and kind very flexible the fittest mould to cast a Foole in hauing now the full length of his foole then shewes she her selfe what she is vnmasking her dissembling malice her first attempt is to vsurpe Superioritie and so become his head and this she obtaines without any great difficultie for there is nothing so lauish as a simple and well-natured young man being in subiection that is married to a Widowe especially if she be as the most of them are of a peruerss and crabbed nature I may very well compare him to an vnfortunate wretch whose ill happe is to be cast into some strong Prison vnder the keeping of a most cruell and pittilesse Iaylor that is not moued to compassion but rather to great rigour in beholding the miseries of
this pore wretch whose onely refuge in this distresse is to pray vnto God to giue him 〈◊〉 to endure this crosse for iâ—… he complaine of his hard vsage it will afterwards prooue worse But to procéede This iolly Widowe will within a while growe Iealous feare and suspect that some other Dame hath part of that which shee so earnestly â—…reth and wherewith she could neuerbe satisâ—…ed so that if hee glut not her insatiable humor straightway shee conceiueth this opinion If he doe but onely talke nay which is worse looke on any other Woman for she by her good will would be alwayes in his armes or at the least in his companie For as to the Fish which hauing bene in water that through the heate of the Sommer is halfe dryed vp beginnes to sticke full of mudde séekes for fresh water and hauing found it doth willingly remaine therin and will in no wise returne to his former place Euen so an olde Woman hauing gotten a young man will cling to him like Iuy to an Elme But on the other side a Young man cannot loue an olde Woman howsoeuer hee doth dissemble neither is there any that more endaungers his death for it is with him as with one that drinketh muâ—…y wine who if hee bâ—… thirstie séeles nothing whiles hee is drinking but at the ende of his draught hee féeles such a displeasing take that it doeth almost fume his stomacke But if Young-men in no wise can fancie old Women what loâ—…e thinke you young-women can beare to olde men when besides the suudry imperfections of their Age which are so loathsome that it is impossible for a fresh young tender Damsell be she neuer so vertuous to endure their companie much lesse the kisses and imbraces of the person which hath them All the lusty Gallants thereabouts will not faile to vse whatsoeuer denises and meanes possible for the horning of the old Dotard hoping that shee will be easily wonne to wantonnes and surely they ground this hope on great likelyhood For sith it is no difficult exploite to grafte the like kindnes on a Young-mans forhead who is able in farre better measure to féede his Wiues appetite and shee hath therefore more cause to bee true to him it may surely séeme no great matter to performe the likepiece of seruice with this other vnfortunate Dame But now to returne to our Young-man yoakt as before I said to this old Widow I thus conclude that his estate is most miserable For besides the daunger of his health anâ—… besides the subiection Nay rather seruitude which hee liues in this third euill I meane his wiues Iealousie is alone an vntollerable torment vnto him So that be he neuer so quiet neuer so desirous to content her neuer so searefull to displease her yet cannot hee auoyd her brawles obiections and false accusations of leaudnes and disloyaltie for an olde Woman infected with Iealousie is like a hellish Furie If hee goe to any of her Friends about businesse yea to the Church to serue God yet will shee alwayes thinke the worst and assure her selfe that hee playes false though indeede he be neuer so continent who whatsoeuer he pleadeth in his owne defence yea though hee proue himselfe blamelesse by such reasons as shee can by no reason confute yet will not all this satisfie her such is the peruersenesse of her stubborne crabbed and malicious nature made worse by Dotage and raging Iealousie for being priuse to her owne deâ—…ectes and knowing that he by reason of his youth and hansomnes may perchance fall in faâ—…our with a yong dame thinking withall that a yong man when he may haue such a match will be loth to leaue it for a worse or preferre sower verince before swéete wine She concludes peremptorily in these suggestions as before Loe heere the issues of this asses turning into Lobs pound intangling of himselfe againe when he had once gotten out to his former libertie which if he once more looke for he is mad for he must now perforâ—…e continue there while life doth last which by this meanes will be farre shorter and he looke farre older hauing béene but two yeares married with this olde crib then if he had liued ten yeares with a young wife CHAP. XV. The humor of a young woman giuen ouer to all kind of wantonnesse THere is yet another humor that a woman is subiect too which is when an vnfortunate yong man hauing long laboured to get into Lobs pound and hauing in the end obtained his desires doth match himselfe with a lustie wantoâ—… young wench which without feare of him or care of her owne credit takes her pleasure fréely and withall so ouerboldly and vnaduisedly that within a while her husbanâ—… perceiues it who thereupon being not a little inraged doth in the heate of his impatience after much brawling on both sides roughly and desperately threaten her thinking thereby to terrifie her and make her honest by compulsion But that makes her worse for whereas before she did it for wantonnes now will she doe it for despight and what with the one and the other be so inflamed that were she sure to be killed for it yet would she not leaue it Which he perceiuing watching her â—…oings so narrowly that in the end he sées her swéete heart come closely to his house then being on fire with furie runnes hastily to surprise him and enters his wiues chamber with full purpose to kill him though he had ten thousand liues But iudge you in what a taâ—…ing the poore yong man is in seeing himselfe thus surprised and looking for nothing else but present death because he hath nothing to defend himselfe But she for whose sake he hath incurred this daunger â—…oth kindely frée him by this stratagem for as her husband is readie to strike or stab him she catcheth him hastily about the middle crying out Alas man what doe you meane While shée thus staies her husband the younger betakes him to his heeles running downe the staires amaine and out of the doores as if the Diuell were at his taile and after him the good man as fast as he can driue But when hee sees that he cannot ouertake him hee turnes backe in a like rage to wreake his anger on his wife But shée dreading as much gets her hastily before his returne to her mother to whom shee complaines of his causelesse suspition and diuellish furie iustifying her selfe as if she were not the woman that would commit so leaud a part But her mother sifting the matter narrowly her daughter cousesseth her fault but to make it séeme the lesse shee tels her a large Tale of the young mans unportunitie who for so long time together did continually trouble her and whether soeuer shee went hee would be sure to follow her begging pittifully her loue and fauour that she had often sharpely answered him and flatly denied his sute yet could she not for all that be rid of him so that in the end she was
vncourteous and vnciuill which will not vouchsafe the hearing or gentlie answering to those that loue her and wish her well If hee offer you Money take none in any case if a Ring or a Gyrdle or any such thing at the first refuse it yet kindely and with great thankes but if hee vrge it on you twise or thrise take it telling him sith that hee will néedes bestowe it on you you will weare it for his sake Lastly when hee takes his leaue aske him when hee will come againe These Instructions being thus giuen and the Plot laide for the fetching in of this kinde foole into Lâ—… Pound The next day he commeth and is on all hands more kindely welcome and entertained after dinner hauing had great cheare the Mother falles in talke with the other Guests and this frollicke Nouice gets him as neere to her Daughter as hee can and while the others are hard in â—…hat he takes her by the hand and thus begins to coâ—…rt her Gentlewoman I would to God you knewe my thoughts Your thoughts Sir saith she how should I know them except you tell them mee If may be you thinke some thing that you are loth to tell Not so saith he yet I would you knew it without telling But that saith she smiling is vnpossible Then qd he if I might doe it without offence I would aduenture to tell you them Syr saith she you may fréely speake your pleasure for I doe so much assure mee of your honestie that I know you will speake nothing that may procure offence Then thus saith he I acknowledge without faining that I am farre vnworthy of so great a fauour as to bee accepted for your Seruant Friend and Louer which art so faiâ—… so gentle and euery way so gratious that I may truely say you are replenished with all the good gifts that Nature can plant in any mortall creature But if you would vouchsafe me this vndeserued grace my good will diligence and continuall forwardnesse to serue and please you should neuer faile but I would therein equall the most loyall Louer that euer liued I would estâ—…me you more then any thing else and tender more your good name and credit then mine owne God Syr quoth shee I heartily thanke you for your kinde offer but I pray you speake no more of such matters for I neither knowe what Loue is nor yet care for knowing it This is not the lesson that my Mother teacheth me now adayes Why saith hee if it please you she shall know nothing of it yet the other day I heard her talke of preferring you in marriage to one Maister G. R. How say you to that quoth shee Marie thus answeres the Gentleman If you would vouchsafe to entertaine me for your Seruant I would â—…uer marry but onely relie vpon your fauour But that saith she should be no profite to either of vs both and beside it would be to my reproch which I had not thought you would seeke Nay qd he I had rather die then séeke your discredit Well sir saith she speake no more hereof for if my Mother should perceiue it I were vtterly vndono And it may be her Mother makes her a signe to giue ouer fearing that shee doth not play her part well At the breaking vp of their amorous Parley hee conueyes into her hand a gold Ring or some such toy desiring her to take it and keepe it for his sake which at the 〈◊〉 according to her Mothers precepts shee doth refuse but vpon his more earnest vrging of it she is content to take it in the way of honestie and not on any promise or condition of any farther matter when it was brought to this passe the mother makes motion of a iourney to be made the next morning some ten or twelue miles off to visite or feast with some Friend or to some Faire or whatsoeuer other occasion presents it selfe To this motion they all agree and afterwards sit downe to supper where hee is placed next the Daughter who caries her selfe so toward him with her piercing glaunces that the young Heire is set on fire therewith Well morning comes they mount on Horse-backe and by the opinion of them all there is neuer a Horse in the company that can carry double but his So the Gull is appointed to haue the Maiden ride behinde him whereof he is not a little proude and when he feeles her holde fast by the middle which shee doth to stay her selfe the better he is euen rauished with ioy After their returning home which perhaps will be the same night the Mother taking her Daughter aside questions with her touching all that had passed betmâ—…ne the amorous gallant and her which when her Daughter hath rehearsed then procéedes the wilie Gran-dame thus If he Court thée any more as I knowe hee will then make him answere that thou hast hearde thy Father and mée talke of matching thee with Maister G. R. but that thou hast no desire as yet to bee married If he then offers to make thée his Wife and vse any comparisons of his worth and wealth as though hee were euery way as good as he thanke him for his good will and kindnes and tell him that thou wilt speake with mee about it and that for thy owne part thou couldst find in thy hart to haue him to thy Husband rather then any man else vpon this lesson the Daughter sleepes reuoluing it all night in her minde The next morning shee walkes into the Garden and this lusty Yonker followes when hauing giuen her the time of the day he falls to his former sute Shee willes him to giue ouer such talke or she will leaue his companie Is this the Loue you beare me qd shee to seeke my dishonestie You knowe well enough that my Father and Mother are minded to bestowe mee otherwise Ah my sweete Mistresse saith hee I would they did so farre fauour me herein as they do him I dare boldly say and sweare it and without vaine glory vtter it that I am euery way his equall Oh sir answeres thee I would hee were like you Ah sweete Miâ—tres saith he you deigne to thinke better of mee then I deserue but if you would farther vouchsafe me the other fauour I should esteeme my selfe most happie In troth Syr saith she it is a thing that I may not doe of my selfe without the counsell and consent of my Parents to whom I would gladly moue it if I thought they would not bee offended But it would be so much the better if you breake the matter vnto them and be sure if they referre the matter to mee you shall speede so soone as anie Hee being rauisht with these words and yeelding her infinite thankes trots presently to the Mother to get her good will To be short with some little adoo the matter is brought about euen in such sort as he would desire they are straight way Contracted and immediately Wedded both because that her Friends feare
that the least delay will preuent all and because he is so hot on the spurre that he thinks euery houre a year till it be done Well the Wedding night comes wherein shee behaues her selfe so by her Mothers counsel that he dares sweare on the Bible that hee had her Maidenhead Within a while after it comes to his Friends eares without whose knowledge he hath marryed himselfe who are exceâ—ding sory knowing shee was no meete match for him and it may be they haue heard withall of his Wiues humâ—…r but now there is no remeâ—…y the knot is knit and cannot be vndone they mâ—…st therefore haue patience perforce Well hee brings his faire Bride home to his owne house where God woâ—…e he hath but a small time of pleasure for within three or foure moneths after their Mariage she is brought to Bed Iudge then in what taking the poore man is If he put her away his shame will be publike shee growes common and hée not be permitted to marrie againe while hee liues and if he kéepe her still loue her he cannot suspect her he will and she both hate him and perhaps séeke his ende Finally all the ioyes pleasures and delights which before time they had are all turned to brawles banning cursing and fighting Thus is hee hampered in Lobs-Pound where he must 〈◊〉 force remaine till death ende his liues miseries CHAP. XII ¶ The humour of a Woman being matched with an oucrkinde Husband THere is another humor incident to a Woman which is when a Young man hath turmoyled and tossed himselfe so long that w much adâ—… he hath gotten into Lobs-pound and hath perhaps met with a Wife according to his owne desire and perchaunce such a one that it had beene better for him to haue lighted on an other yet hee likes her so well that he would not haue mist her for any golde for in his opinion there is no Woman aliue like vnto her hee hath a great delight to heare her speake is proude of his match and peraduenture is withall of so shèepish a nature that hee hath purposed whollie to gouerne himselfe by her counsell and direction So that if any one speake to him about a bargaine or whatsoeuâ—… other businesse he telles them that he will haue his Wiues opinion in it and if she he content hee will goe through with it if not then will he giue it ouer Thus is he as same and pliable as a Iack an-Apes to his kéeper If the Prince set forth an Arnâ—…e and she be vnwilling that he should goe who you may thinke wil aske her leaue then must he stay at home fight who will for the Countrey But if shee be at any time desirous to haue his roome which many times she likes better then his company she wants no iourneyes to imploy him in and hee is as ready as a Page to vndertake them If she chide he answers not a word generally whatsoeuer shee doeth or how souer hee thinkes it it well done Iudge now in what a case this sillie Calfe is in Is not hee thinke you finely drest that is in such subiecion The honestest Woman and most modest of that Sere if shee weare the Bréeches shee is so out of reason in taunting and controlling her Husband for this is their common fault and be shee neuer so wise yet because a Woman scarceable to gouerne her selfe much lesse her Husband and all his affaires for were it not so doubtles GOD would haue made her the head which sith it is otherwise what can be more preposterous then that the Head should be gouerned by the Foote If then a wise and honest Womans superioritie be vnseemely and bréede great inconueniences c how is he drest thinke you if hee light on a fond wanton and malicious Dame Then doubtles hee is soundly sped she will not stick to kéepe a swéet heart vnder his nose yet is hee so blinde that hee can perceiue nothing but for more securitie shee will many times send him packing beyond-Sea about some odde errand which she will buzze in his eares and he will performe it at her pleasure albeit she send him foorth at midnight in Raine Haile or snowe for he must be a man fit for all weathers Their Children if they haue any must néeds be brought vp apparelled fedde and taught onely according to her pleasure and one speciall point of their learning is alwaies to make no account of their Father If anie of their Children be Daughters she wil marry them according to her minde to whome she list when she list and giue with them what dowrie shee list without acquainting him therewith till shee haue concluded the match and then shee telles him not to haue his consent but as a Maister may tell his Seruant to giue him diâ—…ien how to behaue himselfe to deale therein Finally thee orders all things as shee thinkes best her selfe making no more account of him especially if hée bee in yeares then men doe of an olde Horse which is past labour Thus is he mewed vp in Lobs-Pound plunged in a Sea of cares and Corâ—…slues yet hee kinde Foole deemes himselfe most happie in his vnhappines where he must now perforce remaine while his life doth last and great pittiâ—… it were hee should want it sith he likes it so well CHAP. XIII The humour of a Woman whose Husband is gone beyond the Seas vpon some businesse ANother humor of a Woman is when the Husband hath bene married some seuen or eight yeeres more or lesse aâ—… as hee thinkes he hath met with a good Wife as any man can haue with whome hee hath continued all the aforesaide time with great delights and pleasures But adâ—…t hee bee a Gentleman and that hee is desirous to purchase honour by following Armes and in this humour bee is resolued to make a steppe abroade and not to tarry alwayes like a cowardly Drone by the smoke of his owne chimney but when he is ready to depart she hauing her chéekes blubbered with teares falles about his necke colles kisseth and embraceth him then wéeping sighing and sobbing she thus begins to him Ah sweete Husband will you now leaue mee Will you thus depart from mee and from your louing Children which knowes not when we shall see you againe or whether you shall euer come home againe or no Alas sweete Husband goe not Tarry with vs still if you leaue vs wee are vtterly vndone Ah swéete Wife saith hee disswade me not from this enterprise which concernes my credite and alléageance for it is our Princes commaundement and I must obey but bée you well assured I will not be long from you if it please God Thus doth hee coâ—…rt and quiet her in the best so it that he can and be she neuer so importunate be her teares â—…uer so manie her intreaty neuer so forcible yet goe hee will essoeming his renowne and duty to his Prince and countrey more then wife and Children though next to it hee