sleeps upon the Brink of a Precipice or as some others that will rather flye with all Might and Main as far from the Danger as they can which makes them to be look't upon as Thieves But on the contrary when he hath marched some Thirty Paces very modestly with his Booty instead of minding his Pace to gain ground for fear he should be followed or stopped he will turn Tail about and set his Face towards the Place from whence he came out And if he sees any Body in pursuit of him he goes softly up to them and so passes by on the one side of them and so saves himself and his Prey together Sometimes he will put on a Petty-Coat over his own Cloaths a Scarf over his Head and a Mask before his Face and so in this Disguise he will attack the Burgors in the Streets in clear Day making them pay him Tribute as they go along Passengers as they go by imagining it to be only a Contention betwixt Man and Wife and therefore will not meddle in their Affairs He carryed out one Evening two Fancies made of Oziers and cloathed them in light Garments and so disposed of them in the Corner of the Street and then went and demanded a Purse of a Man which as soon delivered it because as he said he could not hold combat with Three at a time which appeared all very suitable to his Sight One of the Company called Beauliou which was lately come from serving the King under the Discipline of a Committee began to inform Rustaut That there were many of the Brotherhood which he could not see asking Where they were To which he answered him thus Thy very good Friend La Boline being so well known in the Town for a Boulineux he is gone to Range the Country with a designe of changing his Calling and to betake himself to Play for he is the most Subtle of the Hand But as it is alwayes a Truth that the Affairs of a Man cannot alwayes prosper or stand in the same Degree as they are in when we undertake them So it is fallen out here of late For within these few Dayes last past it was his Fortune to take some certain Pieces of Gold out of a Cup of a Church-Mans pretending only to have changed them for a less But he was Coffered up or Imprisoned in true English notwithstanding all that he could alleadge for himself that the Church was a Refuge for Sinners and the like La Forest and Du Buisson after they had a little while used the High-Wayes about Normandy and there-abouts had the Fortune to be hurt at the Cross of the Shooters and are since dead of their Wounds that is they are Hanged and so Dead Longeuin la Jeunesse and La Fleur are gone to Fence against the Bottom of the Sea with Wooden-Swords that is they are gone to the Galleys I understand you now sayes Beaulieu for you will say They are gone to take my Place But for the following of St. John St. Charles and St. Andrew la Balaffre replyed Rustaut they are Martyred with the Blows given them with the Knees and are inchased at the Chyrurgeons that is being Martyred with the Knees It is a Custom in France when a Man is Hanged that he may be quickly out of his Pain the Hangman thumps him on the Breast with his Knees and being inchased they were begged for Anatomies and this is the Meaning of it And La Ramce was called aside and ty'd from his Meat in England But as they were leading him out towards Tyburn which is the Place of Execution out of the City of London This Fellow believing that the People of that Country were of another Understanding than that of France he prayed those that guarded him to this Fatal Place that they would permit him to make a Step over into his own Country for he had something of Consequence to say to his Father before he dyed making them to believe that they ought not to deny any thing to their Patient But his Request was not heard because he spake to those that were deaf in his Cause Therefore sayes Rustaut there is nothing more certain than this for when the Measure is full it must be emptyed Our poor Young Man had by this time made many a fair Escape already and amongst the rest he had the good Fortune one Evening being perceived a breaking in through a Wall he was immediately beset by the Archers of the Gust or the Sheriff's Watch which inclosed him so quickly that he by a Subtilty mingled amongst them so that they mistook the one for the other seizing of their own Comrades for the Thief which they had away towards the Prison whilst he got away and made his Escape to my Lodging no Body espyed him running away So I put him into his Bed with his Cloaths on and a Night-Cap on his Head whilst the other was hal'd to the Prison-Door and well beaten But when they found their Mistake insomuch that they knew the Party in hand to be one of their own Company then they began to hunt as fast for the Thief judging him not to be far off because they had not seen any Body run away so they pursu'd their Game too into my Chamber where they found their Man in Bed whom I told them was my Kinsman and he was very Sick And what served me better than all the rest was three Porringers of Blood which I had sent for into the Town the Blood being still upon the Table insomuch that my Lie passed for a perfect Truth and the Archers took it for no less and so took their Leave of me Telling me withal That if they had not found the Hat and Cloak lying on the Ground they should have taken this Encounter for an absolute Allusion Therefore says Rustaut I would advise all the Brotherhood be they Travellers or others that they above all things be sure to keep a fair Correspondence of Love and Friendship with the Officers of Justice or the Executioners and their Deputies So that they may be sure to have a Kindness done them in time of need when there is an occasion That is Truth sayes Beaulieu laughing for such an one may save a Man's Life when he is Condemned to be Hang'd by putting the Nose of a pair of Bellows down his Throat like a piece of Cinamon and so it may hinder him from Expiring No sayes Rustaut Laughing also that is not it but they can put a Slice of Bacon on the Patient's Shoulder before they put the Princes Arms to it besides many other Favours when the Patient 's ill Fortune hath destined him to their Discretion So when Rustaut had ended his Discourse the Cloak was brought with the Ring to be put into the Possession of him that was the Master who came in very shortly after and received them both according to Promise So the Burgor made Rustaut a Present but he was long deliberating whether he
you please that I shall teach ou to study the Metamorphosis upside down I will be Andromede and you shall be Perseus Do but behold this Knave saith she aloud Laughing with a full Mouth They say sayes she that he doth not know what is a troubled Water and yet he is the nimblest Stalion in all our Stable But Lucas all this while was like one stupid who spake not one word nor moved at the Table so well as the others But when Ragonde saw it she cryes out Why how now Mr. Bridegroom What Can you make Money of nothing For by your sad and heavy Countenance you are able of your self to put us all into the Dumps Come warm your self well with your Wine and chear up a little Mrs. Bride your Spouse What Would you have her to leap about your Neck But if she should it would be contrary to the Custom Besides she is too Modest and dares not now since she is Married so much as look upon a Man without Blushing But this Old Fool Lucas being entred a little into Jollity replyed That he had seen her continually Twattling with one or other and therefore is now more Reserved than she us'd to be for she admits of none but French and Strangers But as concerning the Affairs you spoke to me about Me sayes Roger who having by this time learnt that she was English Born sayes to her If this may pass for a Stable you may also pass for one of the best Geldings in it And besides having so good a Stalion as this you may both together Engender very good Colts But there are more Days than Weeks therefore you must give a little Rest All this is Truth Replyed Ragonde to him and yet you have already well beaten the Wood since you were Conjugally bound to Jacqueline in Marriage And besides you ought alwayes to consider that a Place not well Victualled is easily Taken by the Enemy But she said for Answer That if she had not been Marryed she must never have drank Wine Wherefore it was rather to have the Entertainment of a Woman than for Carnal Actions And that he believed his Wife to be wiser than to go about by Force to take that Purity from him which he had so long preserved intirely to himself But this being over-heard by Ragonde and the rest of the Company who began all very heartily to laugh at such a Discourse as this at which the Old Belldam began to sing thus upon this Subject as followeth Ragonde's Song for Lucas When thou art in Hell Biss The Old Man Lucifer Biss Will ask out of what Mue They have hunted this Faulcon Which hath not led his Life Neither amongst Wine nor Women But stay a little then cryes La Breeche to another young Gentlewoman of the Gang which Ragonde had there to be Broken up you have stollen away my Heart and I will feel in thy Belly to find him again But the Woman was very much troubled that he should be so Insolent as to offer such a rude Discourse before those Girls But Roger takes up the Word and asked If there were any Body in that Place that had their Ears more Chast than all the rest of their Bodies But as they were at that time become all good Friends again she made him answer That there was none but very honest Girls with her now Laughing But that their Government was a little Scandalous whil'st Angilberd began to sing the Song of Dupont and Guimbarde upon which Quintine sung Prosperity to Lubeine and his Loyal and Noble Friends and then every one in Course gave his Song as he pleased as some for Bacchus some for Mars and some in favour of Vulcan's Wife So that every one gave a Song as they pleased except Bondrille who could not possibly sing because he had his Mouth alwayes full which was espyed by one who loved Rallying as her Life who sayes Come on my brave Cavalier now is your turn to sing but you are above the Potter now Why that were good for a Dance sayes he but do not speak one Word more of Dancing above the Potter for thereof I am suspected And besides I am Tall enough and need not to be stretched After this Answer given which was Merry enough for the Matter it concerned But this foolish Gigglet that thought to Laugh alwayes replyed That he was a very fit and proper Personage to study Youthfulness in the Doctors School Which words by a Mis-understanding very much offended Bondrille insomuch that he rose from the Table in a great Heat with a design to have evilly intreated her but she fled amain and he pursued after to catch her and when he had over-taken her he went to pull her by the Ears and as he went to lay hold on them he found none which made him return almost chok't with Laughter to the rest of the Company to relate his Adventure That is very good cryes Roger and a most excellent Commodity for a Combe to pass without Molestation And so consequently each had something or other to say of Gallantry about the Loss of the Ear. Some counselled her to put some pieces of Carton collour'd for Ears but to take heed of letting them fall for fear that People in the Street should cry after her Madam take up your Ears before you go Another made a kind of a Moral Discourse by way of Reflection upon this silly Fool and her Talk either as much discoursed her manner of Life saying That she would not be exempted one Day or other from serving for a Model in the Academy of Death But another made answer That when that Holy-Day came they would Consume her But Ragonde to reproach this Lady without Ears told her That she would not have her to Dress her self in the Mode but with Coronets only With that stood up one of the bravest of the whole Company who was drest in a Coronet with a few light Hairs over it and ruffled out in a Dozen of small Curles or Trusses saying Hold there Governess for I have taken part elsewhere With that our Gentlewoman without Ears being a little freed of her Fears and pretty well come to her self again would begin to enter the List to babble again saying That she would take a new Party also and would make her Quarters in Normandy and had already given Earnest for a Place in the Coach that goes to Roan VVhat then you think to do some strange Matters in that Country replyes Roger which is the only Rendezvouz of those Girls which are out of Trade and Communes with these that are here or else it may be you imagine to draw great Profits from the Portugals and Flemmines But by the Faith of Roger thou wilt sooner cause all the People in the Town to flye from thee when thou comes there without thy Ears if they do but come to know it sooner than thou wilt be able to induce one to follow thee by all thy Charms But
Refusing c. But when Rustaut had made an end of Reading his Letter he begun to stand and muse a little by himself imagining that this Burgor might by some Subtilty or other have invented and written this Note himself only after the Report of the Vulgar and ignorant People or else some certain People might be commanded to stop the Thieves and would not as favouring their Actions in hopes to share the Cake with them But on the other side he thought it a great Presumption of this Burgor to throw himself like a lost Body into the middle of his Enemies without being back't or set on by some great and extraordinary Might and Strength Besides he considered that it might be a dangerous thing to make a Discovery in such a Rancounter as this and if so it might happen that he might come to those that should be ordered to carry them to the Prison and from thence to the Bar to be forc'd to beg their Pardon or their Lives and to caress sometimes those that sought only the Means to take them at the greater Advantage and betray them at one time or other and cause them early or late to fall into the Paws of the Woolf such as they called their Sheep These Diversities of Cogitations put Rustaut into a strange Perplexity of Spirit at the present But at the last in Imitation of the Old Woman which gave a Wax-Candle to St. Michael and at the same time gave another to the Devil answering those that asked her why she did so To get me a Friend in Heaven and another in Hell So he was resolved in all he could to keep the Note sooner than all his other Doubts and so took a Resolution of rather serving an unknown Person than at length to run the hazard of knowing him so well And so turning himself about to the Burgor told him although but softly We may do you reason to the Two first Articles comprized in your Demands but for the Third it is only Wine for the Company and therefore Silver-Mony is never found amongst us in case of a Restitution I shall very freely forgive my Mony sayes the Burgor with all my Heart to Rustaut for Joy of the Hopes that was given him of having the rest of his Things again and yet my Mony shall be but as it were a taste of the Thankfulness that I intend to make you Then go sayes Rustaut about your other Business and come hither again about Two Hours hence and you shall have your Desire for I will go and take care about it But first May we not take Leave to drink a Health to a Stranger and then I shall go and acquit my self of this Business and so Here 's to you and you may if you please do me Reason or Pledge me This being said he caused two great Glasses to be filled with Wine which were reciprocally emptied After which the Burgor pray'd Rustaut to give him leave to send him in some Bottles of better Wine But as honest Men are alwayes suspected in such Company Rustaut desired to be excused giving him Thanks So the Burgor retired till the Time appointed was come When the Burgor was gone forth Rustaut began to speak to the whole Band that was there after a Majestical manner saying Children Which of you can give me any Tydings of that which was last Night upon the Bridge of Nosterdame and have not given me an Account of it At which Words the Intermixed Discourse which made such a Confused Noise in that Place was as soon Converted into as great a Silence as if every one had been struck Dumb or had lost their Tongues the Guilty not daring to declare and the Other fearing to be accused of a Fault they had not committed chusing rather to be silent than speak except it came to be excused with a Heat But when Rustaut saw that he look't as if his Eyes had been all in a Flame of Fire and Cocking up the Brims of a Broad Hat which he alwayes wore continued his Chiding and said Is there any Rascal here that dares afront me and cosen his Comrades in this manner Where is the Brigadier So What Appartment had they Yester-day for their Quarters Whom were they that had this Side for their Station But What is this here But Will no Body make me any Answer It must be for all this when you have made your selves both Deaf and Dumb that this certain Cloak and certain Ring must be found if the one were already converted into the Covers of Chairs and the other if it were beaten into Leaves and those Leaves already applyed for the Gilding of the Leaves of some Books yet these must be found and restored And to shew you Gentlemen that my Discourse is not without ground but that I have a very good Foundation for what I say see this Note throwing of the Writing down upon the Table to them all saying Gentlemen This Letter without all doubt was sent from some Body whom we ought to give Respect unto the Orders or else we shall assuredly be forc't to pay for the Prize that we have taken Wherefore pray think of our Preservation betimes and the Preservation of the Goods of Violence from all such as may put a Scandal upon us and our Society With that up rises Bondrille and another called Brindestoc and goes immediately out of the Chamber without speaking one word in Obedience to the Commands of Rustaut which did but a little surprize our Youth La Breeche to see a Man who could scarcely go without the Help of his Staff make those tremble at his Commands who could make others Gallop at the Sight of them for very Fear With that so soon as they were gone out Rustaut addrest himself to La Breeche saying That that Person which was gone out with Bondrille was the Nimblest and and most Activest Man in all the whole Company and brought in much Profit into our Society For in the Markets he will counterfeit the Country-Man and in the Hall a Practitioner that is amongst the Lawyers he is clad like a Student and when amongst the Great Ones he is cloathed like a Gentleman But in any of these Places he seldom miscarries For if he sees any thing that is proper or fit for his purpose his Hand is upon it as soon as his Eyes have discovered and if he doth but lay his Clutches on it he assuredly brings his Prey along with him He will furnish his Companions with Blades for their Swords which he buyes for nothing for if he comes to a Cutlers with an empty Scabbard by his Side he will be sure to have one whil'st the Cutler is looking for another to shew him And so likewise it is his Custom too in Mens Lodgings and if he finds no Body in his way he will take up that which he thinks to be the Best then bidding them very softly Farewel And so with a wonderful Stupidity and not like some that
should or should not receive it as not being accustomed to part with any thing that he had gotten till now so easily neither did he ever make any Acquisition but only against the Prepriators in any Degree whatsoever But however for fear that the Burgor should see him make Ceremonies and Complement with him and so might carry away his Present again he as civilly took the Present and dismissed the Burgor This being no sooner ended but in comes an old Man to Rustaut named Angleberge and was accompanyed by another old Man that was Lean and Dry and as free from Moisture almost as a Stock-Fish in full hopes of marrying a Maid as he had been informed of that was very Rich and one who had served already a long time for the Production of Mankind and the Propagation of Human Society And this he spake aloud without fear of putting himself or any of the Company to the Blush Why how now Lucas sayes one to this old Man for so was his Name What! Do you Court a Mistriss without any Complement or Formality at all With that a great lusty fat jovial Fellow whose Name was Roger and one who had accompanyed this old Man thither replyed saying That one could not choose but use more Ceremony than this to a Simple Girle who never had the Wit to be gotten with Child and therefore he must not expect to gain this so easily who was fitter for him by many degrees than another by reason she was fitting to govern his House and Houshold-Affairs But Rustaut who was near of Kin to this Damosel whose Name was Jacqueline having heard the Demands that Lucas made to have his Kinswoman and seeing him to be in a better Habit than he was accustomed to be in and withal knowing of him to be a Cryer of Strong-Waters about the Street he answered him thus My old Friend It is certainly the Custom for Lovers to put themselves into their best Accoutrement when they come to appear before their Mistresses and it is as certain that an ample and well made Beard which you now have was not long since so heavy that it covered almost all your Face although it is now abated shews a great Disproportion in your Years she not having much more than one Quarter of your Age so great is the Disparity of your Years So that by the Course of Nature you will be ready enough of your self to sound your own Retreat rather than to make it your Business to charge your self with an Equipage which can stand you in no other stead but only to hasten your Dispatches into another World This Buxom Girle that you look after were fitter for a young Husband and would agree much better with one that hath not nothing near so many Years over his Head as you have And besides a young Woman is like an old Clock which never Goes well except it be often Wound up But an old Man is like a Vessel of sowre Wine For you have not above a Turn of Hair of the colour of a Baracan which looks on both sides of your Jaws like two Whisks which are only to make clean Cloaths and the Hair of your Head looks like a Cap of a flesh Colour and your Nose resembles more the Neck of an Alimbeck that is alwayes dropping and you are as wetted as if it had rained out of a Glass on your Stomack and you are upon the very Brink of the Streams of Forgetfulness and you may travel a great way before you arrive at the Fountain of Pleasures it being as it were in Retrograde against you And when you come there you may chance to have the Cheat put upon you there also for How can you expect to have a Wife to your Self that is accustomed to serve others And now What can you think of these Affairs sayes Rustaut turning himself towards Roger who had very diligently hearkened to all their Discourse and made Answer to it thus Why truly I think sayes he Laughing that Lucas may be like one of those Cowardly Souldiers which dares not give the Assault till the Breach be wide open And Jacqueline makes Love like the Wolves who alwayes make their Choice of the Ugliest Males But in spight of all these Reasons and the Jars of them all Lucas and Jacqueline pledged their Faith to each other in Marriage and it was stupiltulated betwixt them both that she should have a Dowry of One Thousand Crowns to be raised upon the Goods and Estate of Lucas although he could not name to the Value of One Farthing of his own proper Estate And as for that Jacqueline her Riches consisted most in many good Acquaintance which she swore was worth a great deal of Mony But withal she was very ill Clad of which Lucas complained very much But Roger answered him That it was a very good Commodity For sayes he you must undress her quite before she goes to Bed with you But at length the Match was signed and the Ceremony of Marriage accomplished and the Feast provided which was some gross Meat and some as delicate Inter-Messes and all was to be at an old Creator of Love otherwise a Bawd called Ragonde the most Experienced of all the Trade And for her better Traffick she had made Choice of a House in a By-place and in a Quarter of the Town where very seldom or never any honest Man went except by Accident or for a Wager She used Divinations lending of Mony treating of Marriages and traded in Brokery But particularly in Girles or Whores of which sort she had alwayes a sufficient Number in her House of whose Virginity she had already taken the first Tribute but ceast not every Day to raise some new Impost upon them For this cunning Gipsey knows so well her Trade that she can tell how to Accommodate them with Roach-Allom Salt of Saturn le Consolida Major with other Ingredients which she by her Subtilty made use of So that she could oftentimes sell one Maiden-Head in the same Person for as good as it was at the very first And in the mean time she ordered her Affairs so well that the Thieves for the most part brought all or the greatest part of their Booty to that Place or some such like which alwayes made the more Water come to her Mill and withal the Burgors could live more secure and at their Liberty But the Pensioners of Ragonde seeing of Jacqueline coming they all went out to meet and salute her they being as it were then all undrest and in such a Confused manner that it would have frightned any indifferent Beholder to have seen them For the one had a Bigen so bedawb'd with the Yolks of Eggs that you would have thought her Head to have been wrapped up in a Namlet Others held a Box of Pumade or the Shells of Vermillion Another had her Hands so besmear'd with the Paste of Almonds that she could not tell what Countenance to make Another had her Face
this time that it seemed to be according to the sayings of Socrates that for the better Establishing of a Society sayes That every Man should Imagin himself to be the Husband of each Woman and every Woman to be the Wife of all those Men. At which words one of the Company being one of the most Rejoyced or Frollicksom began to look about her saying That if there were any Eunuches in the Company they ought to be Expulsed out of the Company as useless and rotten Members which to be cut away for the Preservation of the rest of the Body that was sound and good to which Roger Answered That those Men were very good Coverers for it never Rained where they Wrought that is a Truth sayes she But they are very bad Arithn eticians for they cannot Multiply and they are as troublesom in their Conferences for they never come to a Conclusion At the same time another who sought to lay hold on something alwayes began to tell one who was in her Year of Novice or the beginning of her Practice that he had heard one say That she was a Cuclet to which she Answers I do admire how you come to know that already for it is not long since my Whether go you or Stay for this time here or the like was by me O but replyed he you should have made him Answer to this half Term thus And I pray How do you call the next Week for the People of Monasteries change often their Names and Habits So he finding that he had not to do with a Fool he left her and addrest himself to another Cocket whose Name was Diana and told her That one of the Company pointing at them with his Finger had assured him that it was not long since the best of her Employment was Shelling of Beans and that she could not go in high-Heel'd Shoes as being only accustomed to wear only Sabous or Wooden-Shoes having never wore any thing else till now of late and that her Right Name was Friacrine But another whose Name was Philipotte but because she would have a more Gallant Name she was named Silvy This took the Discourse upon her self because there was a Discourse about her Quality and Greatness and as if she had been mounted upon her great Horse replyed and swore That those had undertaken to talk on that Fashion knew full eâ—sily that she was a Gentlewoman of good Fashion and had paid a good Price for her Letters of Testimony That is a Truth indeed replyed the above-said Roger speaking into the Air like a Buffoon or as he made himself a Fool that there were many as he had heard say that could say as well as himself That she was Noble And if she did want a more sufficien Testimony than this she might apply her self to some sweet and loving Notes which he had sent her whose Superscriptions were thus A Mademoiselle Houst-Houst a La Mothepress de Trouliput But as she had her Spirits at that time very slat and stood as one speechless she could not revenge her self upon Roger by any thing but by making an ugly Face at him But by this time Diana was come into the Light and began as furiously to attack Simonette otherwise call'd Louyson du Marais the same which Roger had shewn and at this they joyned with the above-known Silvia insomuch that these Three being become Enemies by the Force of the Wine they began so furiously to pull Quails that in a little time they were obliged to quit the Field and Combat leaving the Place of Battle covered with their Cloaths some of brave Gaze Musline Taffities and other Silks insomuch that about Day-light the pieces of Ribbond and other things which before had served to dress and make them fine lay all here to be seen in pieces So that at last they were fain to cover themselves with what was left of their Cloaths which was torn almost as small as their Scarffs And their Quoiffs hung down to their Heels which made look more like Witches then Courtizans for they were obliged to put Patches upon their Faces as big as Silk-Worms and as long to serve for Plaisters to cover the Scratchings of each other which were given in this Battle Rustaut would have undertaken to have interposed himself betwixt them and so to have made them Friends again But Ragonde undertook the Charge and made them Reciprocally give each other Satisfaction upon the Field insomuch that they should all be acknowledged for Gentlewomen But then Roger who had not only been the Author and Beholder of their Combat but was also a Witness to their Agreement and so to express his Joy for the same told them That he would give them an Elogy or a Song which he began after a rude and ridiculous Fashion But yet after his manner the Verses were convenient enough for the Occasion which are as followeth To the end that we may finish all Contentions That swims above all Good Conditions A Maid so soon as she is entred into the Commerce Ought not to dispute above her Quality For Love's Children are all in Equality And will not be suffered in a Controversie This Piece concluded and every one having again taken his Place they began a fresh to fall a Drinking and a Discoursing where Mademoiselle Cloris who had an indifferent good Voyce began to sing Learn you first the Use of Wine Phillis for it is a Beveridge Divine Which will increase your Glory If you can charm the Heart with your Divine Apparel When you have learned how to Drink You may make up all Breaches and Trespasses For your fine Eyes will give a better Lustre And you may look more coyly there And make you Slaves every where Without using these Famous Warriors Who come from their Onyons and Radish And manage your Affairs for Lorilles And now What think you of my Song Cupidon with your wide Chops sayes Cloris to Roger who gad listen'd very attentively to her all the while Why sayes he I think it is very like you she is displeased I know it already by Rote and would Joyne with you in Consort if my Fosset could but be Accommodated to your Voyce but I can neither lead on my Party nor bate of my Measure But this young Sleeper may sayes she speaking of Theodore who look't up with a kind of Lecherous Eye be better for my turn Yes I believe sayes Roger if he had his Spigot in your Fosset called a Croperpice he might turn it easie enough if not too easily feeling for the Corners of it as a Shoo-maker doth a Pair of Boots when he stuffs them But you answer not a word to this But with this she replyed to Theodore Up my Lecherous Friend for I suppose you hearken to all this Discourse but for your better Instruction A-ho sayes Theodore it will take up a great deal of Time for a Prentice to Learn a Trade so well that he shall out-do his Master But when
which the Governour who was an Antient yet Venerable Man enough answered That they might And so brought them into a little Hall and first shews them a Looking-Glass to see themselves giving them to understand that it is not good to Insult too much over the Misfortunes of others But this Antient Man brought us into a little Court where the Diseased were shut up in little Rooms asunder At which the Poet began to cry out Stay here Gad it is sufficient it suffices me for I have seen the greatest Part of all their Fooleries And I think that these Separations would do well if they were but big enough to be an Inclosure for the greatest Part of the World to shut up Fools in For there are but very few People who are not tainted with that kind of Disease Which Discourse made the Governour laugh a little and making a Signe with his Head to shew that he approved of our Discourse But I as soon espyed a Great Man who look't very Pale and Wan and cryed out without ceasing with all his Force That there was no Mercy for him at all I have defaced That which God made for I have eaten Heaven and Earth At which I asked the Governour What the Meaning of that Extraordinary Discourse should mean Who told me That that Man had Eaten up the Revenues of a Piece of Ground and all the Houshold-Stuff that was left him to the very Tester of his Bed which now was all he had left of all his Goods at which he became Distracted and so took up these Words and continues them ever since in his Mouth And so we came against another who cryed out as loud and fast That the first that came ought to set him at Liberty by Releasing of him out of that Place for he was no more a Fool since he came in again of himself uncompelled To which I made Answer That this Man spoke nothing but what was very good Sense To which the Governovr replyed Frieud do not mistake your self for there is more of Malice than Folly in his Case For the Business why he tarries here is only this He having on a time Layn with his Daughter for which he was put into Prison and had undoubtedly Dyed for it but that he Counterfeited himself Distracted and so was Committed into this Place to Sequester himself from the Hands of Justice Then the Poet who had been all this time without speaking of one word asked the Governour If there were not some that were Distracted for Love To which he Answered Yes for the greatest Part of the Men that were in for that very Distemper return'd afar if they do but speak of a Woman they presently cry My Love my Heart my Dear my Soul I Burn I Dye and the like And all this is but to nourish up a Company of Twattling Foolish Women who believe all they say to be True and vant it abroad that they have made so many Slaves And so shewing him a little Lodging that was all full of Cobwebs and told him That there had been one that had layn there for several Years But at last came one of his Friends to see him who asked me Leave to go into his Lodge to him to make a small Collation with him which I readily agreed to so they emptyed several Bottles of Wine together which made me fear that the Strength of the Wine might trouble his Brains But on the contrary he was so well fortify'd and his Senses so well settled that after Three dayes Examination he was found a very Competent Judge and fit to be sent out Before he parted he writ this against Wall which is here Visible for him that should come next although it be now almost all Defaced Then our Poet began to look at it nigh at hand and for his better Perusal he wiped it over with the Corner of his Cloak that he might Read it the better But contrary to his Expectation he found a Draft of Cupid in Debauch his Bow and Arrows thrown down and all in Disorder and over his Head these Two Verses written Thou Son of Love I am thine no more All that thou dost is superfluous Show'r And under-neath was this Song written in imitation of this Tyrant over our Souls The Wine alone shall furnish me with Flame For Bacchus hath brought me under his Laws And made him throw his Arrows to the Ground Asking but another Glass To make him as Drunk as his Carkass All his Troops are on the Rout with the Wind And he has drank so much that he is quite Blind For since he hath thrown his Belt away We see him lye sleeping all the Day For with the Juyce of the Bottle call'd Wine He hath quenched his Flambeau call'd Divine Callet I Renounce thy Love as Folly Such Pleasures makes me Melancholly I abhor it when thereon I think But he is my Friend that taught me to Drink And drove Envy from my Memory And Reviv'd my Senses and Spiritâ— like to Dye But our Poet quickly pulls an Ink-horn out of his Pocket with which he writes these Verses upon a piece of Paper saying That this was a good Matter to furnish him with for it was capable of passing a new thing when he had a little ordered it after his own Fashion But our Blower began to think it now his time to speak therefore he asked the Governour Where they put the Alchymists But he answered him That he never saw any such there for either the Fire of Raymond alone or the Mercury and Minerals consumed them or else at the least it sends them stark-Naked to the Incurables and so we have none of their Company But I was presently informed by the Governour of a Young Man who had many Papers in his hand walking from one End of the Course to the other as if he had been Rapt into some very profound Thoughts of great Concernment This is sayes he a Poet who was Committed to my Charge the other Day by a Courtier more Fool than himself who accused him of writing some Verses that touch'd him wherein he is not so much as named Wherefore I leave him at his Liberty as you see and have often sent him away but he as often returns again to me as if he had some other Pretensions here and here he will stay in spight of me as if the House had been only built for the Commodity of the Poets But for my own part I was very Joyful to see that my Poet staid having marked his Design that he had to put the Trick upon me But all this time I did not so much as let him know any thing that I understood the Meaning of the least of all his Intrigues neither would I break off with a Person who had served me so often for very rare Divertisements as he from time to time had done So the Governour caused us to see several other distemper'd Persons and told us of all the several sorts