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A19241
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The defence of conny catching. Or A confutation of those two iniurious pamphlets published by R.G. against the practitioners of many nimble-witted and mysticall sciences. By Cuthbert Cunny-catcher, licentiate in Whittington Colledge.
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Greene, Robert, 1558?-1592.
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1592
(1592)
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STC 5656; ESTC S105058
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30,088
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38
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THE DEFENCE OF Conny catching OR A CONFVTATION OF THOSE two iniurious Pamphlets published by R. G. against the practitioners of many Nimble-witted and mysticall Sciences By Cuthbert Cunny-catcher Licenciate in Whittington Colledge Qui bene latuit bene vixit dominatur enim fraus in omnibus Printed at London by A. I. for Thomas Gubbins and are to be sold by Iohn Busbie 1592. To all my good frends health AS Plato my good friendes trauelled from Athens to Aegypt and from thence through sundry clymes to increase his knowledge so I as desirous as hee to search the deapth of those liberall Artes wherein I was a professour lefte my studie in Whittington Colledge traced the country to grow famous in my facultie so that I was so expert in the Art of Cony-catching by my continuall practise that that learned Philosopher Iacke Cuttes whose deepe insight into this science had drawn him thrise through euery gaole in England meeting of mee at Maidstone gaue mee the bucklers as the subtlelest that euer he sawe in that quaint and mysticall forme of Foolosophie for if euer I brought my Conny but to crush a potte of ale with mee I was as sure of all the crownes in his purse as if hee had conueyed them into my proper possession by a deede of gifte with his owne hande At Dequor Mumchaunce Catch-dolt Oure le bourse Non est possible Dutch Noddie or Irish one and thirtie none durst euer make compare with me for excellence but as so many heades so many wits so some that would not stoope a farthing at cardes would venter all the byte in their boung at dice. Therefore had I cheates for the very sise of the squariers langrets gourds stoppe-dice high-men low-men and dice barde for all aduauntages that if I fetcht in anie nouyce eyther at tables or anie other game of hazard I would bee sure to strippe him of all that his purse had in Esse or his credyt in Posse ere the simple Connie and I parted When neyther of these would serue I had consorts that could verse nippe and foyst so that I had a superficiall sight into euery profitable facultie Insomuch that my principles grew authenticall and I so famous that had I not beene crost by those two peâ—uish Pamphlets I might at the nexte Midsommer haue worne Doctor Stories cappe for a fauor For I trauelled almost throughout all England admired for my ingenious capacitie till comming about Exceter I began to exercise my art and drawing in a Tanner for a tame Conie assoone as he had lost two shillings he made this replie Sirha although you haue a liuery on your backe and a cognisance to countenance you withall and beare the port of a Gentleman yet I see you are a false knaue and a Conny-catcher and this your companion your setter and that before you and I part Ile proue At these wordes Conny-catcher and Setter I was driuen into as great a maze as if one had dropt out of the clowds to heare a pesant cant the wordes of art beloÌ„ging to our trade yet I set a good face on the matter and asked him what he ment by Cony-catching Marry q. he althogh it is your practise yet I haue for 3. pence bought a litle Pamphlet that hath taught me to smoke such a couple of knaues as you be When I heard him talke of smoaking my heart waxed cold and I began to gather into him gently No no sir q. he you caÌ„not verse vpon me this booke hath taught me to beware of cros-biting And so to be breefe he vsed me curteously and that night causd the Constable to lodge mee in prison the nexte morning I was carried before the Iustice where likewise he had this cursed book of Cony catching so that hee could tel the secretes of mine art better then my selfe whereupon after strict examination I was sent to the gaole at the Sessions by good hap some friend that my money procured mee I was deliuered Assoone as I was at liberty I got one of these bookes began to tosse it ouer very deuoutly wherin I found one art so perfectly anotomized as if he had bene practitioner in our facultie forty winters before then with a deepe sigh I began to curse this R. G. that had made a publike spoyle of so noble a science and to exclaime against that palpable asse whosoeuer that would make any peâ—-man priuy to our secret sciences But see the sequel I smoothered my sorrowe in silence and away I trudged out of Deuonshire went towards Cornwal comming to a simple Ale-house to lodge I found at a square table hard by the fire halfe a doozen countrie Farmars at cardes The sight of these penny-fathers at play draue me straight into a pleasant pâ—ssion to blesse fortune that had offred such sweet opportunity to exercise my wits fil my purse with crowns for I couÌ„ted all the mony they had mine by proper interest As thus I stood looking on them playing at cros-ruffe one was taken reuoking whereat the other said what neighbour wil you play the cony-catcher with vs no no wee haue read the booke as wel as you Neuer went a cup of small beare so sorowfully down an Ale-knights belly in a frosty morning as that word stroke to my hart so that for feare of trouble I was fain to â—ry my good hap aâ— square play at which fortune fauoring mee I wan twenty 〈◊〉 and yet doe as simply as I could I was not onelie suspected but called Conny-catcher and crosse-biter But away I went with the money and came presently to London where I no sooner arriued amongst the crue but I heard of a second parte worse then the first which draue mee into such a great choller that I began to enquire what this R. G. should bee At last I learned that hee was a scholler and a Maister of Artes and a Conny-catcher in his kinde though not at cards and one that fauoured good fellowes so they were not palpable offendors in such desperate lawes wherevppon reading his bookes and surueying euery line with deepe iudgement I began to note folly in the man that would straine a Gnat and lette passe an Elephant that would touch small scapes and lette grosse faultes passe without any reprehension Insomuch that I resolued to make an Apologie and to aunswere his libellous inuectiues and to proue that we Conny-catchers are like little flies in the grasse which liue or little leaues and doe no more harme whereas there bee in Englande other professions that bee great Conny-catchers and caterpillers that make barraine the field wherein they baite Therfore all my good friends vouch of my paines and pray for my proceedings for I meane to haue about with this R. G. and to giue him such a veny that he shalbe afrayd heereafter to disparage that mysticall science of Conny-catching if not and that I proue too weake for him in sophistrie I meane to
his daughter so conny catcht and spoyld for euer after These youths are proper fellows neuer without good apparel and store of crowns wel horst and of so quaint fine behauior so eloquent that they are able to induce a yong girle to folly especially since they shadow theâ—r villainy with the honest pretence of marriage for theyr custome is this When they come into the Cittie or other place of credit or somtime iâ— a country village as the fortune of theyr villany leads them they make inquiry what good marriages are abroad on the sunday make suruey what faire and beautiful mayds or widowes are in the Parish then as their licentious lust leades them whether the eye for fauour or the eare for riches so they set downe theyr rest soiourne eyther there or thereabouts hauing money at wil and their companions to sooth vp whatsoeuer damnably they shal protest courting the maid or widow with such faire words sweet promises that shee is often so set on fire that neither the report of others nor the admonition of their frends can draw them from the loue of the Poligamoi or bel-swaggers of the country And when the wretches haue by the space of a moneth or two satisfied their lust they waxe weary either faine some great iourney for a while to be absent so go visit some other of his wiues or els if he meane to giue her the bagge he selleth whatsoeuer he can and so leaues hir spoild both of hir wealth and honestie then which there is nothing more preâ—ious to an honest woman And because you shal see an instance I wil tel you a pleasant tale performd by our villaines in Wiltshire not long since I wil conceale the parties names because I thinke the woman is yet aliue A pleasaunt Tale of a man that was marryed to sixteene Wiues and how courteously his last wife intreated him IN Wiltshire there dwelt a Farmâ—r of indifferent wealth that had but oâ—ely one childe and that was a daughter a mayd of excellent beauty and good behauior and so honest in hâ—r conuersation that the good râ—port of hir verâ—ues was wel spoken of in alâ— the cuntry so that what for hir good qualiâ—ies sufficient dowry that was like to fal to her she hâ—d many suters mens sons of good welth and honest conuersation But whether this mayd had no minde to wed or she likte none that made loue to her or she was afrayde to match in haste least shee might repent at leysure I know not but she refused all kept her stil a virgin But as we see oftentimes the coyest maydes happen on the coldest mariages playing like the beetle that makes scorne al day of the daiâ—tiest slowers and at night takes vp his lodging in a cowshâ—rd So this maid whom we wil cal Marian refused many honest and wealthy Farmars sonnes and at last lighted on a match that for euer after â—ard her market for it fel out thus One of these notable roges by occupation a taylor and a fine workman a reprobate giuen ouer to the spoyle of honest maids to the deflowring of virgins hearing as he trauelled abroad of this Marian did meane to haue a fling at her and thereâ—â—re came into the towne where hir father dwelt and asked worke A very â—oâ—est man of that trade seeing him a passing proper man and of a very good and honest countenance and not simply appâ—relled sayd he would make trial of him for a garment or two and so â—ooke him into seruice assoone as hee saw him vse his needle he wondered not onely at his workemanshippe but at the swiftnes of his hand At last the felloâ— whom we wil name William desired his Maister that he might vse his sheeres but once for the cutting out of a dublet which his Maister graunted and he vsed so excellently wel that although his Maister was counted the best taylor in Wiltshire yet he found himself a botcher in respect of his new intertained iourneyman so that from that time forward he was mâ—de foremaâ— of the shop so pleased the gentlemen of that shire that who but William talkt on for a good taylor in that shire Wel as yong men and maydes meet on sondayes holydaies so this taylor was passing braue began to frolike it amongst the maydes to be very liâ—eral being ful of siluer and gold for his personage a properer man than any was in all the Parish and made a far off a kind of loue to this Marian who seeing this William to be a very hand some man began somewhat is affect him so that in short time she thought wel of his fauors there grew some loue betweene them insomuch that it came to hir fathers eares who began to schoole his daughter for such foolish affectioÌ„ towards one she knew not what he was nor whither he would but in vaine Marian could not but thinke wel of him so that her father one dâ—y sent for his Maister and began to quâ—sâ—ion of the disposiâ—â—on of his mâ—n The Maister told the Farmar friendly that what he was hee â—new not as being a meâ—re strangâ—r vnto him but for his workmansâ—ip he was one of tâ—e most excellent bâ—th for needle and sheeres in England for his behauior since he came into his house he had behaued himself very honestly and 〈◊〉 wel apparelled he was and well moâ—ied might for his good qualitiâ—s sâ—eme to be a good wâ—mans fâ—llow Although this somewhat satisfied the father yet he was loth a tailâ—r should 〈◊〉 away his daughter that she should be driueÌ„ to liue of a barâ— occupation whereas she might haue landed men to her husbandes so that hee and her friendes called her 〈◊〉 and perswaded her from him but she flatly told them â—he neuer loued any but him and sith it was her first loue she would not now be turned from it whatsoeuer hap did afterward befal vnto her Her father that loued her dearly seeing no perswasions could draw her from the taylor left her to her owne libertie and so shee and William agreed togither that in short time they were married and had a good portion and set vp shop and liued togither by the space of a 〈◊〉 of a yeare very orderly At satisfied with the lust of his new wife he thought it good to visit some other of his wiues for at that instant hee had sixteene aliue and made a scuse to his wife and his wiues father to go into Yorkshire which was his natiue country and visit his friends and craue somwhat of his father towards houshold Although his wife was loth to part from her sweet Wil. yet she must be content and so welhorst and prouided away hee rydes for a moneth or two that was his furthest day and downe goes he into some other country to solace himself with some other of his wiues In this meane while one of his wiues that he married in