Communication if thou art too brief thou shalt not be understood if too long thou wilt be tedious XVII Neither do thou follow the Example of those who will prefer themselves in all things above others who will put themselves in the best Beds in the best Chambers and in the highest Places will like nothing but what they themselves invent or do but will set aside and suspend others with a Jest and will have themselves accounted best in solemn Feasts or Banquets in Horsmanship in Plays and in all Refreshments of the Body and Exercises of the Mind to excel all others and boast much of what they have and what they have done which things are odious and therefore I advise thee to avoid them and remember that nothing makes a mans breath stink worse than commendations of himself Speech of thy self ought to be seldom and well chosen I knew one saith Sir Francis Bacon who was wont to say in scorn he must needs be a wise man he speaks so much of himself and there is but one case wherein thou mayst commend thy self with good Grace and that is in commending Vertue in another especially if it be such a Vertue whereunto thou thy self pretendest Never speak well of thy self unless thou be taxed for any dishonesty by a slanderous Tongue for a man may tell his Slanderer that he is as honest a man as himself or any of his Generation and if a man shall say I am an honest man he is not to be taxed of vain-glory but if he say I am a learned man or I am a wise man he will shew himself to be very vain so then a man may praise himself as to his Morals but not as to his Intellectuals XVIII Resemble not those who when a Question is proposed unto them are so long before they give their Opinion that they prove very troublesom in making a very long Circumstance or Excuse saying Sirs I am the unworthiest and the unlearnedest in the whole Company here are Gentlemen who are far worthier and far more learned than I am and are better able to answer the Question propounded when indeed he is by the confession of all the learnedest there and best able to give a resolution yet for the sake of obedience I shall willingly submit my self to your commands whilst these and many other vain Preambles are made they put a stop to the present business and in that time the Question might have been answered when a Fidler is long and tedious in tuning his Fiddle who will care for his Musick XIX Be not thou like those who are so heady sharp sullen and rough that nothing can please them howsoever or by whomsoever it is done who whatsoever is said unto them do answer with a grim or sower countenance and in whosoevers company they are chide their Servants nay sometimes beat them so that they disturb the whole company to whom all humours are odious but what are Debonaire and to jar scold and ruffle with those about thee just when thy Guests are ready to sit down at thy Table is as if thou shouldst scrape thy Trenchers to set their Teeth on edge before they begin to eat their meat be not angry at thy Table whatsoever happens but rather contain thy self and dissemble it lest there should a sign of trouble appear in thy countenance and so thy Guests be induced to believe that some in the company are not so welcome as they should be but rather be merry and facetious at thy Meals for this like Poynant sauce will make thy Meal the more savoury XX. Be not contrary to others desires neither oppose the delights of others when they talk of what Sports they most delight in do not thou undervalue them nor if they desire thee to make one at their Recreations refuse their desires for that argues morosity complacency is hugely pleasing to all those with whom we converse and one jarring string spoils the harmony of a whole set of Musick XXI Be not rough or strange but rather pleasant and familiar accustom thy self to salute every one very kindly to talk with them and answer them very pleasantly and familiarly it is a true token of Nobility and the certain mark of a Gentleman to be courteous to all and especially to Strangers Themistocles was so full of courtesie that he never entred the Market-place without saluting every Citizen by his name or some other friendly compellation as a Bell is known by the sound so is a mans Gentility by his courteous affability Ferdinando King of Spain was wont to say that proud looks lose hearts but courteous words win them Courtesie will drew unto thee the love of Strangers and the good liking of thine own Country-men XXII Avoid the custom of many who will always be of a sad countenance and will never be merry with their friends but refuse all things that are offered to make them merry and when any one sends commendations unto them they will answer the Messenger what am I the better for his commendations and if any one tells them that such or such a friend of late asked for them whether they were in good health or no they will answer he may come and see if he please XXIII Thou must not be melancholy and thoughty in that place where any one is as if thou wert snatcht and placed without thy self yea although this may be born with in those who have spent many years in the consideration and contemplation of the Liberal Arts and Sciences yet I tell thee in others without doubt it is not to be approved of yea thou dost well at that time in which thou thinkest to meditate to go in from the company of others either into thy Study or some other solitary Place the solitary Nightingale sings sweetest when all other Birds are fast asteep XXIV Be not of too nice and delicate a Mind and too precise in thy discourse for I say that talk with such men as are so is rather a Bondage than an equal Society there are some who are so nice and curious in all their words and actions that to live and converse with them is no other than to be surrounded with brittle Glasses so that men greatly fear to touch them they must handle and observe them very softly and gently they must fitly and carefully salute them visit them and answer their questions otherwise they will be very angry they are so delighted with their titles that unless any one shall have them at his fingers ends and use them at every word they will be displeased nay they will scarce answer him or if they do it will be thus I truly as thou knowest am called Master but thou dost forget to put a M under thy Girdle Take heed of lying for if thou usest this vice often thou wilt lose thy credit amongst all men the Persians and Indians deprived him of all honour and further speech that lyed Homer writeth of the great and
neither let thy liberality exceed thine ability he that giveth beyond his power is prodigal he that giveth in measure is liberal he that giveth nothing at all is a Niggard Follow the example of those young Gentlemen who coming to their Wealth before they come to their Wits run beyond the Constable and live without compass making their own Hands their Executors their own Eyes their Overseers and all their Purchases with Dedimus and Concessimus LXI Enter not into Bonds no not for thy best Friends King Solomon who in his time was the wisest man in the World tells us that he that hateth suretiship is sure He that obliges himself to pay another mans Debt takes the Shackles from his Feet and claps them on upon his own it is as rare to see a rich Surety as a black Swan and he that endeth to all that will borrow sheweth great good will but little wit If thou lend a round Sum of Money be sure to have either a Lease or a Mortgage of Land made over or two or three good Sureties bound to thee for it either of these and especially the two first are good Gages to borrow by LXII Entertain such men as shall be trusty for if thou keep a Wolf within thy doors to do mischief or a Fox to work craft and subtilty thou shalt find it as perillous as if in thy Barn thou shouldst maintain Rats and in thy Ground Moles Let thy Maidens be such as seem readier to take pains than follow pleasure willinger to dress up their House than their heads not so fine-fingered as to call for a Lute when they should use a Distaff not so dainty-mouth'd as that their silken Throats should swallow no Packthread Chuse such Servants as shall be willing to learn whatsoever is necessary faithful in performing whatsoever is their duty careful in seeking all honest means to profit thee and silent in Tongue in not revealing abroad what thou dost at home and in not replying to or contradicting of what thou commandest them to do never endure those that will answer again when they are reproved by thee for the neglect of their Duty especially take care that they be seasoned with the fear of God He that entertains one addicted to Lyes entertains a Thief and he that admits a common Swearer or a debauch'd person into the bowels of his Family admits a Jonah that may sink his Ship Make not thy Servants too familiar with thee for that will in the end bring thee into contempt with them it hath been ever observed that gentle and clement Princes have more rebellious Subjects than those that are rough and fierce that loving and indulgent Parents more ungracious Children than those who are rigid and austere and that soft and mild Masters more disobedient Servants than those that are harsh and severe Amongst other things my Son if thou hast a regard to Thrift keep no more Cats than will kill Mice my meaning is retain not more Servants in thy Family than are for thy profit or advantage a long Retinue may make thy State the greater but it will make thine Estate the less the length of the Peacocks Train makes his Wings the shorter LXIII There are some that will not tap their Beer till it be sowre nor cut their Bread and Cheese till it be mouldy or their Meat till it be soisty some again will cobble their Shoos till like Theseus his Ship none of the first Materials of them remain some will drive into them so many Hob-nails and Sparabils as they may be rather said to be shod like Horses than shooed like Men some will burn only Rush or Pissing Candles and all this but to eke out their Store and others rather than they will be at the Charge of a Quarrel or Pane of Glass will stop the hole in their Windows with an old Stockin or a Wad of Straw nay I have heard of an old Woman who would commonly sit bare-breech'd to save her Petticoats all which are to be abhorred because they do not so much express any good Husbandry and Thrift as base Sordidness and Niggardize These and the like petty Arts leave to those covetous Misers who heap up Riches for they know not whom LXIV Be not hasty to marry it is better to have one Plow going than two Cradles and more profit to have a Barn filled than a Bed We are told in holy Writ that it is better not to marry but withal we are told there also that it is better to marry than to burn It is not unlikely that those persons that live and dye pure and unspotted Virgins shall sit in Heaven next to the Martyrs and wear Crowns as they do whilst such as are married and live Chastly in that state and condition of life shall wear Coronets only but a pure and unspotted Virginity is very rarely attained among Men and Women whose half of themselves consists of flesh and blood and therefore if thou canst not live chastly in a single life make use of the remedy which God hath prescribed thee and that is Marriage which is an honourable estate amongst all men but yet if thou must needs marry be sure to chuse such a Wife as may bring with her such advantages to thee as may at least counter-ballance all the inconveniences of a married life for many leap like the Mouse in the Fable into the Brass-pan without considering at all such inconveniences and afterwards would fain leap out again but cannot And truly my Son if a man well ponder before-hand the continual cares and fears and the frequent jars and discontents which Man and Wife suffer under he will discover that Marriage like the Medicine prescribed for the disease commonly called the Squinzy hath as much Album Graecum as Honey in it and thus thou mayst perceive my great love to thee in preferring the peace and quietness of thy life before the propagating of my Name and Posterity nevertheless in this Matter I leave thee to thine own liberty and discretion But because by thy sanguine and debonaire Complexion I forbode that thine inclinations will tend to a married life I would have thee observe these Instructions in the choice of her whom thou art minded to make thy Bed-fellow Chuse such a one as may be more commended for her Vertues than her Beauty a good Huswife is a great Patrimony and she is most honourable who is most chast In thy choice and election mark these four P s Piety Parentage Proportion Portion The first P. is Piety see in the first place that she be piously brought up in the fear of God well educated of civil and modest Deportment and Behaviour avoid her that is fantastical for she will still be hurrying thee up to London or that is ambitious to be taken for a Wit for it is more than an even lay but she will attempt to make thee a Fool nor chuse her the rather because like a pretty Parakeeto she can speak
for fear of danger if he did conceal him or hope of gain if he did reveal him bewrayed where his Master was whereupon he was apprehended and carried to Shrewsbury where King Richard then lay and there without Arraignment or any legal proceeding he was in the Market place beheaded Whether Bannister received the proclaimed Reward or no is uncertain King Richard loving the Treason but hating the Traytor said as it is reported that he that would be false to so good a Master would never be true to any but certain it is he received the Reward of a Villain from Divine Justice for himself was after hanged for murther his eldest Daughter was deflowered by one of his Carters or as some say strucken with a foul Leprosie his eldest Son in a desperate Lunacy destroyed himself and was found to have done so by the Coroners inquest and his younger Son was drowned in a shallow Puddle LXXX Be faithful to thy Prince and Country and hate Rebellion and Treason as thou wouldst the Devil himself for he was the first Rebel and Traytor that ever was it is but just that his heart should be pulled out of his breast alive who bears a false one to his Prince Neither do thou grumble or repine at the Taxes and Impositions which are laid upon thee for this is all thou payest to thy Soveraign who by his good Government and just Laws secures thy Peace and Safety thy Life and Liberty thy Estate and Religion Observe it well that in all Ages the sin of Rebellion hath constantly been attended with one swinging vengeance or other Take one remarkable instance of this in Corah Dathan and Abiram for whom the Earth it self turned Sexton and made their Graves And as I would have thee according to Christs injunction Give unto Caesar the things which are Caesars so would I have thee Give unto God the things which are Gods LXXXI Wherefore be just in the payment of thy Tithes for he that Robs the Priest Robs God himself also And it will in the end rather impoverish than increase thine Estate the Rabbins have a Proverb and 't is a true one Pay thy Tithes and be rich The Eagle which snatched the flesh from the Altar to carry it to his young ones burnt them and his Nest with a burning Coal which stuck to it had a due Reward of his Sacriledge above all things meddle not with the Lands of the Church for that will bring a curse upon those lands which I shall leave thee to be sure according to Sir Henry Spelman's observation the third Heir seldom or never enjoys the sacriledge of his Predecessors LXXXII Take heed by all means that thou break not the Peace of the Church for Schism is but the Handmaid of Rebellion The better therefore to preserve that keep thy private Opinions in matters of Religion to thy self if they be contrary to the established discipline of the Church It is better thou didst never wear a Shirt upon thy back than thou shouldst quarrel at anothers decent wearing of a Surplice this is but tithing of Mint and Cummin and neglecting the weighty matters of Gods Laws 'T is a bad matter to break the Kings Peace but 't is a worse to break the Peace of God LXXXIII My Son since I by mine own industry and God by his Providence has provided for thee a fair Estate forget not to be charitable to the poor it is a goodlier sight to see the Poor standing at a rich mans Gate than the Porter and therefore as thou takest care to feed thy Hounds without doors and to cloath thy naked Walls within with Tapestry and Cloth of Arras so much more would I have thee to be careful to fill the bellies of the hungry and clothe the backs of the naked that they perish not with hunger and cold for as thou takest notice of thy comings in so God assuredly takes notice of thy layings out to whom thou must one day give a severe Account for every idle Penny that thou hast spent as well as for every idle Word that thou hast spoken LXXXIV I have heard a story of a Gentleman and his Son and the passages in it are very well worth thy observation and that thou mayest the better remember it I will cut it as short as the things will bear This Gentleman had one only Son whom he called to him and told him that he was going out of the world and therefore desired him to remember these three Precepts First To take a good proffer when it was offered Secondly Not to tarry at a Friends house too long Thirdly Not to go too far for his Wife The young Gentleman promised him that he would carefully observe them but shortly after there came a Gentleman to his House who saw in his Stable a very good Horse unto whom he had a very great liking and for which he proffered 80 l. but he refused it and would not part with him under an 100 l. that night his Horse was taken in the Staggers and dyed then he remembred his Fathers first Admonition wherefore he calls one of his Servants and commands him to skin his Horse and take the skin and hang up in his barn which accordingly was done After this he rides abroad to visit a friend who made him very welcome but he stayed there so long that his friend was weary of him and caused to be brought to Table nothing but brown bread whereupon seeing nothing but white bread before he bethought himself that he had not observed his Fathers second Precept wherefore coming away he begged one of the brown Loaves telling them that he liked the bread so well that his Butler should make the like for him so they gave him a Loaf which when he came home he bid his Man to hang in a Rope by the Horse skin After this he bethinks himself of taking a Wife wished he was to a Gentlemans Daughter which lived an hundred miles or more from him thither he goes and woos the young Lady and all things were agreed upon for the conclusion of the Match but being upon some urgent occasion sent for home he acquainted the old Gentleman after Supper with it telling him that his return should be short and therefore craved that he might take his leave of his Mistress over night but the old Gentleman would by no means suffer him but told him that he was a better Husband and his Mistress a better Huswife than so and that they would be up time enough in the morning to take their leave of him but the young Genleman being up very betimes and having ordered his Horses to be made ready and bethinking himself that it would not be handsom to ride away without taking leave of his Mistress he went to her Chamber-door and knock't very softly but no body answering and finding the Key in the outside of the Door he unlock't it peeped in towards the Bed where he espyed two in the Bed and
he replied Oh Sir that person you saw was God and the Water in the great Bottle which he drank up and which all the other Rout refused was Wisdom Upon which the Noble-man awaked highly pleased with his most excellent dream 2. The other is this two Fellow Travellers riding together came by night to a certain Town where they parted the one to his Friends House the other to a common Inn he that lodged at his Friends House dreamt that he saw his Companion that lodged at the Inn stand at his Bed-side and desired him that he would arise and make haste to help him or he should be murthered by his Host but being very drowsie and weary with his Journey he arose not wherefore in a short time after his Companion again appeared and requested him more earnestly to arise and succour him but he making no account of all this slept again but he left him not so but appeared unto him the Third time all bloody telling him that it was now too late to implore his aid but yet he requested him to avenge his Blood upon the Murtherer his Host who as he told him had killed and buried him in his Dung-Mixon where he should find his Corps at which the other started out of his sleep and arose and taking the Officers with him secured mine Host and upon further search found the Body of his Fellow Traveller with his Throat cut and so by this means God disclosed the Murther and those that had an hand in it were brought to condign punishment My Son if such foolish Conceits and Phansies as those which I have before mentioned call at thy Door use them as vagrant Passengers with slight respect let them not take up any lodging within thee But though I would not have thee superstitious yet I would have thee devout XCIII Wherefore forget not to begin and end with God by thy morning and evening Devotions so will every thing thou settest thine hand about fadge and prosper the better yea the quicker shall be thy dispatch for as the Dutch Proverb hath it Stealing never makes a man rich Alms never make a man poor and Prayer never hinders a mans business Before thou dost compose thy self to take thy rest make up thine accounts between God and thine own soul and consider what the day past thou hast thought done or spoken amiss Short reckonings we say make long friends And where thou hast found that thou hast failed in thy duty resolve to amend the next day following but be sure thou make good thy resolutions that thou resemble not St. George on the Sign Post always seeming to strike at but never wounding the Dragon or that of the Archer always aiming at but never hitting the mark good intentions are but Buds but God requires we should bring forth Fruit meet for Repentance But above all close not thine eyes without begging pardon for what is past remembring that sleep is too much like Death to be trusted without a mans Prayers XCIV Keep thy self to the true Principles of Piety Virtue and Honour for this will bring thee to a better Inheritance than I shall leave thee especially I would have thee well grounded and setled in Religion the best profession of which I have ever esteemed that of the Church of England in which thou hast been educated yet I would have thine own judgment and reason now seal to that sacred Bond which Education hath Written that it may be judiciously thine own Religion which thou dost profess and not other mens Custom or Tradition XCV My Son as for Travelling it is very good if it be used well Homer highly exalts the wisdom and experience of Vlisses which he gained in his twenty years Travels for as he tells us Multorum mores Hominum conspexit Vrbes He observed the Citys and the Manners of the People whithersoever he travelled and from thence drew such useful Theories as made him a most accomplished person Indeed he that Travels with Wit in his head as well as money in his Purse makes the whole World his Library and all men therein his Books but sill not up thy Table-Book with trivial slight Observations for that will call thy judgment and discretion in question as it did Tom. Coryats of Odcomb who gives us an account where he made water when he was in Italy what the mending of his Stockings cost him there and how he hardly escaped the losing of his Testicles with a thousand of as mean occurrences as these Let thine observations in thy Travels be weighty and material observe the humours and conditions of those Nations amongst whom thou shalt come their Customs Ceremonies and Religion that seeing their Idolatry thou mayest the more firmly stick to thine own Religion which thou dost prosess Next take notice of their Churches and Oratories and whatsoever is notable in them their Government Laws Judicatures and Proceedings against Malefactors with their dealings in matters of Traffick and Commerce their Castles Magazines and Discipline in War their Ships the commodiousness of their Havens their Rivers Fish Birds Beasts and Mines of all sorts their Buildings Structures and all those curious Arts which seem to be peculiar to the genius of the People and every thing that justly claims a mans wonder and admiration for by these thou shalt the better acquaint thy self with the wonderful operation of the handy-works of God and shalt the clearer see his infinite wisdom in his Government of this inferiour World Finally note the Virtues of the people and imitate them their Vices and Vanities likewise but to avoid and abhor them There are many young Sparks that travel abroad who leave the English Gentleman they carried out with them and bring home again nothing unless it be a formal Spaniard a drunken Dutchman or an airy Frenchman nay it is well if they bring not home a Turk instead of a Christian instead of returning like Solomons Ships fraught with Gold they return furnish't only with Apes and Peacocks my meaning is they return learned only in the pride and vanity of those Foreigners amongst whom they conversed with in their Travels instead of taking a due cognizance of those things which are of such worth and remark as might enrich their judgments and understandings Doubtless it cannot be worth a mans cost pains and perils to go so far as some do only to learn a new Mode or a new Oath a politick shrug or a mimical cringe or a little Gibberish pronounced with an ugly Face If this be all it were better for my young Gallant to be chained at home in the chimney corner like a Monkey than to return such an Ape Wherefore if thou intendest to travel and to avoid these Rocks upon which others have dasht themselves to pieces take along with thee a grave and wise Companion or Tutor who by his own former Travels hath acquainted himself with the things forementioned for Travels by Land are like Voyages by Sea unsafe