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Word A Word B Word C Word D Occurrence Frequency Band MI MI Band Prominent
friend_n answer_v ask_v see_v 761 5 2.8567 3 false
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ID Title Author Corrected Date of Publication (TCP Date of Publication) STC Words Pages
A32424 Cambridge jests, or, Witty alarums for melancholy spirits by a lover of ha, ha, he. Lover of ha, ha, he. 1674 (1674) Wing C332; ESTC R7388 59,605 164

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that_o a_o ass_n of_o twenty_o be_v old_a than_o a_o man_n of_o forty_o 31._o a_o young_a horseman_n be_v mount_v be_v carry_v away_o by_o his_o horse_n his_o friend_n fear_v the_o horse_n will_v throw_v he_o call_v to_o he_o to_o stay_v he_o how_o shall_v i_o stay_v he_o say_v he_o see_v i_o have_v no_o spur_n 32._o a_o prudent_a gentleman_n in_o the_o begin_n of_o the_o rebellious_a time_n as_o he_o lie_v on_o his_o deathbed_n be_v ask_v how_o he_o will_v be_v bury_v he_o answer_v with_o my_o face_n downward_o for_o within_o a_o while_n this_o england_n will_v be_v turn_v upside_o down_o and_o then_o i_o shall_v lie_v right_a 33._o sir_n nicholas_n bacon_n be_v appoint_v judge_n for_o the_o northern_a circuit_n be_v by_o a_o malefactor_n mighty_o importune_v to_o save_v his_o life_n but_o when_o nothing_o he_o can_v say_v do_v avail_v he_o desire_v his_o mercy_n on_o the_o account_n of_o kindred_n prithee_o say_v my_o lord_n judge_n how_o come_v that_o in_o why_o if_o it_o please_v you_o my_o lord_n your_o name_n be_v bacon_n and_o i_o be_v hog_n and_o those_o two_o have_v ever_o be_v so_o near_o relate_v that_o they_o can_v be_v separate_v i_o but_o reply_v judge_n bacon_n you_o and_o i_o can_v be_v kindred_n except_o you_o be_v hang_v for_o hog_n be_v not_o bacon_n until_o it_o be_v hang_v 34._o one_o see_v the_o rump_n in_o council_n oh_o strange_a say_v he_o what_o fine_a man_n be_v these_o i_o can_v willing_o work_v for_o such_o as_o long_o as_o i_o live_v what_o trade_n be_v you_o pray_v say_v another_o why_o true_o reply_v he_o i_o be_o a_o cord-winder_n 35._o two_o come_v to_o a_o inn_n they_o bid_v the_o ostler_n give_v their_o horse_n some_o oat_n present_o one_o go_v down_o see_v the_o ostler_n rob_v the_o horse_n for_o which_o chide_v he_o he_o return_v to_o his_o companion_n that_o have_v trust_v too_o much_o upon_o the_o ostler_n fidelity_n what_o say_v his_o companion_n have_v the_o horse_n dine_v already_o yes_o i_o believe_v you_o have_v reply_v he_o for_o as_o i_o go_v down_o just_a now_o i_o see_v the_o ostler_n take_v away_o 36_o a_o gentleman_n pass_v by_o with_o a_o very_a short_a cloak_n his_o friend_n say_v to_o he_o sir_n your_o cloak_n be_v too_o short_a you_o be_v mistake_v say_v he_o it_o will_v be_v long_o enough_o before_o i_o get_v another_o 37._o a_o countryman_n new_o come_v up_o to_o london_n to_o sell_v some_o apple_n a_o collier_n call_v after_o he_o to_o buy_v some_o the_o poor_a man_n see_v the_o collier_n on_o a_o sudden_a set_v down_o his_o basket_n and_o run_v away_o cry_v i_o defy_v the_o devil_n i_o defy_v thou_o take_v they_o all_o 38._o a_o gentleman_n in_o the_o rebellious_a time_n as_o he_o be_v in_o his_o chamber_n among_o his_o friend_n make_v merry_a there_o come_v a_o musket_n bullet_n through_o the_o window_n and_o glance_v against_o a_o marble_n chimney-piece_n hit_v he_o on_o the_o head_n without_o far_a damage_n than_o fall_v at_o his_o foot_n the_o gentleman_n turn_v the_o flat_v bullet_n with_o his_o finger_n gentleman_n say_v he_o those_o that_o have_v a_o mind_n to_o flatter_v i_o be_v wont_a to_o say_v that_o i_o have_v a_o good_a head-piece_n in_o my_o young_a day_n but_o if_o i_o do_v not_o flatter_v myself_o i_o think_v i_o have_v a_o good_a head-piece_n in_o my_o old_a age_n for_o it_o be_v musket_n proof_n 39_o a_o gentleman_n have_v lose_v his_o sight_n his_o friend_n often_o ask_v how_o he_o can_v be_v so_o merry_a why_o before_o say_v he_o i_o use_v to_o go_v alone_o but_o now_o i_o have_v always_o company_n 40._o two_o innkeeper_n fall_v out_o one_o day_n who_o shall_v entertain_v a_o lord_n and_o his_o retinue_n that_o be_v to_o pass_v that_o way_n he_o that_o be_v less_o happy_a in_o the_o occasion_n stand_v at_o his_o door_n say_v to_o those_o that_o pass_v by_o see_v that_o envious_a man_n point_v to_o the_o other_o ho_o be_v willing_a that_o every_o thing_n he_o have_v shall_v eat_v i_o up_o for_o example_n his_o cat_n this_o morning_n eat_v i_o two_o pound_n of_o butter_n the_o other_o to_o justify_v himself_o bring_v out_o a_o pair_n of_o scale_n in_o the_o middle_n of_o the_o street_n weigh_v his_o cat_n and_o say_v see_v good_a people_n what_o a_o envious_a and_o lie_a man_n this_o be_v the_o cat_n do_v not_o weigh_v a_o pound_n and_o a_o half_a with_o all_o that_o be_v in_o she_o and_o yet_o he_o say_v she_o have_v eat_v this_o morning_n two_o pound_n of_o his_o butter_n 41._o a_o gentleman_n none_o of_o the_o wise_a see_v a_o house_n very_o stately_a build_v tell_v the_o porter_n it_o be_v much_o of_o the_o italian_a mode_n and_o ask_v whether_o it_o be_v make_v in_o england_n the_o porter_n see_v his_o simplicity_n say_v no_o sir_n it_o be_v make_v in_o venice_n and_o bring_v hither_o by_o two_o merchant_n 42._o a_o gentleman_n complain_v to_o his_o friend_n that_o he_o have_v lose_v a_o honest_a woman_n forasmuch_o as_o his_o wife_n be_v dead_a nay_o have_v she_o be_v honest_a say_v the_o other_o she_o will_v never_o have_v leave_v you_o 43._o a_o lord_n as_o he_o be_v travel_v on_o the_o road_n his_o coach-horse_n tire_v and_o force_v he_o to_o take_v up_o inn_n where_o be_v impatient_a of_o stay_v his_o fool_n say_v to_o he_o let_v we_o go_v if_o it_o please_v your_o lordship_n before_o in_o the_o coach_n and_o the_o horse_n may_v come_v after_o 44._o pace_v the_o bitter_a fool_n be_v not_o suffer_v to_o come_v at_o the_o queen_n because_o of_o his_o bitter_a humour_n yet_o at_o last_o some_o press_v the_o queen_n that_o he_o shall_v come_v to_o she_o undertake_v for_o he_o that_o he_o shall_v keep_v compass_n so_o he_o be_v bring_v to_o she_o and_o the_o queen_n say_v come_v on_o pace_n now_o we_o shall_v hear_v of_o our_o fault_n say_v pace_n i_o do_v not_o use_v to_o talk_v of_o that_o which_o all_o the_o town_n talk_v of_o 45._o one_o ride_v furious_o among_o some_o quaker_n that_o stand_v in_o a_o yard_n hear_v the_o speaker_n from_o the_o top_n of_o the_o barn_n and_o be_v rebuke_v by_o a_o brother_n why_o shall_v not_o my_o horse_n say_v he_o have_v to_o do_v here_o at_o the_o meeting_n as_o well_o as_o the_o rest_n of_o the_o ass_n 46._o some_o merry_a companion_n have_v be_v at_o a_o ordinary_a all_o day_n when_o by_o much_o drink_n they_o begin_v to_o be_v mad_a begin_v at_o last_o to_o jeer_v one_o another_o concern_v their_o mistress_n whereat_o one_o strike_v the_o other_o a_o box_n in_o the_o ear_n and_o all_o expect_v some_o bloody_a event_n but_o the_o injure_a person_n demand_v what_o the_o other_o mean_v whether_o he_o be_v in_o jest_n or_o in_o earnest_n in_o earnest_n say_v the_o other_o who_o collar_n have_v carry_v he_o beyond_o the_o bound_n of_o friendship_n the_o other_o more_o considerate_a and_o loath_a to_o quarrel_v with_o his_o friend_n it_o be_v well_o you_o be_v say_v he_o for_o i_o like_v not_o such_o jest_n 47._o several_a person_n of_o several_a calling_n be_v invite_v to_o a_o feast_n it_o happen_v that_o among_o the_o rest_n there_o come_v a_o old_a grammarian_n not_o altogether_o array_v after_o the_o mode_n nor_o clothe_v so_o well_o as_o many_o other_o young_a gallant_n that_o be_v there_o this_o give_v occasion_n when_o the_o wine_n have_v make_v every_o man_n tongue_n free_a to_o speak_v his_o mind_n that_o a_o young_a spark_n to_o put_v a_o jest_n upon_o the_o old_a grammarian_n say_v pray_v sir_n since_o i_o know_v you_o to_o be_v well_o skilled_a in_o genealogy_n who_o be_v the_o father_n of_o peleus_n to_o which_o he_o answer_v tell_v i_o first_o if_o you_o can_v who_o be_v you_o 48._o in_o the_o time_n of_o peace_n when_o the_o gown_n only_o find_v employment_n and_o arm_n as_o useless_a be_v lay_v aside_o a_o stout_a soldier_n that_o have_v former_o do_v his_o prince_n great_a service_n but_o be_v forget_v find_v it_o a_o difficult_a thing_n to_o be_v admit_v to_o the_o king_n presence_n whereby_o he_o may_v make_v himself_o know_v to_o he_o stick_v feather_n in_o his_o hair_n nose_n and_o ear_n and_o dance_v about_o the_o court_n in_o a_o most_o antic_a fashion_n till_o at_o last_o the_o strangeness_n of_o the_o sight_n bring_v the_o king_n himself_o to_o be_v spectator_n then_o this_o mimic_n throw_v off_o this_o disguise_n sir_n say_v he_o i_o thus_o arrive_v at_o your_o majesty_n notice_n in_o the_o fashion_n of_o a_o fool_n but_o can_v do_v you_o service_n in_o the_o place_n of_o a_o wise_a man_n 49._o a_o old_a knight_n come_v to_o court_n request_v a_o favour_n of_o the_o king_n but_o receive_v a_o denial_n of_o his_o petition_n wherefore_o
to_o each_o a_o shell_n 283._o a_o welshman_n come_v late_o to_o his_o inn_n go_v to_o bed_v in_o the_o dark_a and_o be_v very_o dry_a and_o find_v a_o bottle_n there_o on_o a_o cup-board_n head_n he_o suppose_v it_o to_o be_v drink_n and_o sup_v it_o off_o which_o be_v indeed_o quicksilver_n in_o the_o morning_n when_o he_o feel_v the_o matter_n in_o the_o bed_n for_o fear_v his_o hostess_n shall_v perceive_v he_o have_v beshit_v it_o he_o arise_v and_o depart_v before_o day_n 384._o another_o of_o the_o same_o country_n go_v in_o a_o dark_a night_n in_o london_n with_o his_o arm_n stretch_v out_o to_o avoid_v dangerous_a object_n run_v with_o his_o nose_n against_o a_o post_n cut_n splutter_v and_o nail_n say_v he_o be_v her_o nose_n long_o than_o her_o arm_n 285._o a_o poor_a cripple_n be_v ask_v by_o a_o gentleman_n why_o he_o marry_v a_o blind_a woman_n because_o say_v he_o we_o shall_v the_o better_o agree_v when_o neither_o can_v hit_v the_o other_o in_o the_o tooth_n with_o their_o infirmity_n 286._o king_n james_n be_v often_o trouble_v with_o the_o frequent_a petition_n of_o the_o scotch_a lord_n when_o he_o be_v merry_o dispose_v one_o day_n he_o say_v to_o one_o thomas_n german_n a_o notable_a witty_a person_n suppose_v yourself_o king_n and_o i_o as_o you_o be_v how_o will_v you_o behave_v yourself_o towards_o these_o petitioner_n and_o thereupon_o make_v german_a sit_v down_o and_o he_o himself_o stand_v at_o his_o elbow_n as_o german_n use_v to_o do_v to_o he_o then_o come_v one_o scotch_a lord_n then_z another_z and_o another_o and_o all_o petition_v for_o something_o and_o german_a sit_v in_o the_o chair_n of_o state_n say_v to_o they_o i_o be_o more_o trouble_v with_o these_o scotch_a lord_n than_o all_o the_o kingdom_n beside_o what_o can_v you_o expect_v or_o desire_v from_o i_o when_o here_o be_v poor_a tom_n german_n point_v to_o king_n james_n at_o his_o elbow_n that_o have_v be_v faithful_a to_o i_o and_o serve_v i_o all_o along_o and_o i_o never_o give_v he_o any_o thing_n yet_o this_o so_o work_v upon_o the_o king_n that_o he_o consider_v all_o the_o good_a service_n he_o have_v do_v he_o and_o reward_v he_o noble_o 287._o a_o reverend_a man_n see_v a_o very_a choleric_a couple_n marry_v and_o live_v love_o ask_v how_o they_o do_v to_o live_v so_o peaceable_o and_o comfortable_o together_o to_o who_o the_o man_n answer_v when_o my_o wife_n sit_v come_v upon_o she_o i_o yield_v to_o she_o and_o when_o my_o fit_n be_v upon_o i_o she_o yield_v to_o i_o and_o so_o we_o never_o strive_v together_o but_o asunder_o 288._o one_o tell_v his_o friend_n he_o be_v mad_a for_o something_o he_o have_v do_v with_o less_o consideration_n and_o judgement_n than_o he_o ought_v to_o have_v do_v and_o that_o he_o ought_v to_o be_v send_v to_o bedlam_n to_o be_v cure_v of_o his_o frenzy_n and_o continue_v at_o that_o rate_n so_o long_o till_o the_o other_o witty_o answer_v that_o he_o wonder_v much_o why_o as_o in_o all_o commonwealth_n there_o be_v provide_v a_o bedlam_n for_o mad_a man_n there_o never_o be_v any_o place_n allot_v for_o fool_n 289._o a_o gentleman_n in_o paris_n talk_v with_o a_o priest_n concern_v religion_n ask_v he_o why_o they_o use_v to_o kiss_v the_o cross_n more_o than_o any_o other_o piece_n of_o wood_n and_o what_o be_v in_o that_o more_o than_o any_o tree_n else_o that_o they_o do_v not_o as_o well_o kiss_v they_o why_o say_v the_o priest_n be_v not_o your_o wife_n make_v all_o of_o the_o same_o flesh_n and_o blood_n and_o what_o be_v the_o reason_n you_o do_v not_o kiss_v she_o back_o side_n as_o well_o as_o her_o face_n 290._o one_o have_v eat_v egg_n for_o dinner_n in_o lent_n time_n go_v afterward_o to_o the_o tavern_n to_o make_v up_o his_o dinner_n with_o a_o glass_n of_o wine_n but_o stay_v so_o long_o pint_n after_o pint_n that_o when_o he_o come_v out_o into_o the_o air_n the_o fume_n of_o the_o wine_n begin_v to_o load_v his_o head_n and_o instead_o of_o go_v home_o straight_o he_o make_v many_o reel_n across_o the_o street_n in_o so_o much_o that_o a_o friend_n of_o his_o see_v he_o begin_v to_o chide_v he_o for_o his_o debauchery_n in_o the_o time_n of_o abstinence_n wonder_v he_o say_v that_o then_o when_o there_o be_v a_o time_n allot_v by_o the_o church_n for_o the_o mortification_n of_o the_o flesh_n he_o will_v make_v himself_o a_o reproach_n and_o a_o byword_n to_o all_o honest_a man_n alas_o say_v he_o now_o i_o see_v how_o false_a those_o thing_n be_v that_o we_o common_o take_v for_o truth_n how_o often_o have_v i_o hear_v that_o a_o egg_n and_o a_o glass_n of_o wine_n will_v sustain_v a_o man_n four_o and_o twenty_o hour_n and_o it_o be_v not_o two_o since_o i_o eat_v a_o egg_n and_o drink_v a_o glass_n of_o wine_n and_o now_o you_o see_v i_o can_v stand_v 291._o a_o indifferent_a poet_n show_v a_o copy_n of_o verse_n to_o a_o crooked_a gentleman_n to_o have_v his_o judgement_n concern_v they_o after_o long_a perusal_n though_o he_o be_v no_o great_a poet_n himself_o nor_o have_v any_o great_a judgement_n in_o such_o thing_n nevertheless_o he_o tell_v the_o poet_n that_o he_o dislike_v such_o and_o such_o thing_n and_o indeed_o that_o he_o think_v they_o be_v not_o well_o make_v why_o then_o say_v the_o poet_n take_v it_o in_o great_a dudgeon_n that_o he_o shall_v slight_v his_o verse_n all_o that_o i_o can_v say_v if_o they_o be_v not_o well_o make_v be_v that_o you_o will_v be_v take_v for_o the_o author_n for_o they_o be_v make_v more_o like_o you_o than_o i_o 292._o a_o country_n curate_n have_v invey_v bitter_o against_o the_o vice_n of_o his_o parishioner_n in_o his_o sermon_n one_o good_a woman_n that_o be_v there_o go_v to_o see_v his_o mother_n and_o say_v that_o her_o son_n have_v threaten_v they_o all_o with_o hell_n and_o damnation_n if_o they_o do_v not_o amend_v their_o way_n oh_o say_v his_o mother_n you_o be_v mad_a if_o you_o believe_v he_o for_o when_o he_o be_v young_a he_o be_v always_o a_o great_a liar_n and_o i_o never_o whip_v he_o but_o for_o speak_v untruth_n 293._o a_o country_n woman_n send_v her_o daughter_n to_o a_o lady_n with_o a_o present_a of_o ripe_a medlar_n the_o clownish_a wench_n be_v come_v to_o the_o lady_n tell_v she_o that_o her_o mother_n have_v send_v her_o ladyship_n some_o ripe_a medlar_n that_o be_v as_o soft_a as_o bran_n but_o if_o she_o do_v not_o eat_v they_o quick_o they_o will_v not_o be_v worth_a one_o fart_n this_o language_n and_o brutish_a behaviour_n so_o anger_v the_o gentlewoman_n that_o she_o resolve_v to_o complain_v to_o her_o mother_n of_o the_o incivility_n of_o her_o daughter_n and_o not_o long_o after_o meet_v she_o in_o the_o street_n i_o thank_v you_o very_o much_o say_v she_o for_o your_o present_n but_o the_o bearer_n be_v so_o unmannerly_a as_o to_o say_v such_o and_o such_o obscene_a word_n ah_o reply_v she_o let_v i_o do_v what_o i_o will_v i_o can_v mend_v she_o and_o notwithstanding_o all_o the_o civility_n that_o ever_o i_o teach_v she_o she_o have_v no_o more_o manner_n than_o my_o arse_n 294._o a_o gentleman_n be_v passionate_o enamour_v with_o a_o fair_a young_a woman_n that_o be_v already_o marry_v be_v nevertheless_o so_o far_o drive_v by_o his_o passion_n as_o to_o show_v his_o love_n on_o all_o occasion_n to_o she_o which_o importunity_n when_o she_o will_v endure_v no_o long_o and_o that_o still_o he_o press_v she_o more_o and_o more_o tell_v she_o he_o have_v something_o to_o acquaint_v she_o with_o private_o she_o reply_v chaste_o and_o as_o a_o wise_a woman_n shall_v do_v sir_n when_o i_o be_v under_o my_o parent_n care_n i_o never_o do_v any_o thing_n but_o what_o they_o know_v and_o counsel_v i_o and_o since_o at_o this_o time_n i_o be_o in_o subjection_n to_o my_o husband_n i_o can_v do_v or_o consent_v to_o nothing_o but_o what_o he_o know_v therefore_o if_o your_o demand_n be_v just_a and_o honest_a ask_v he_o and_o he_o will_v satisfy_v you_o 295._o a_o poor_a man_n have_v one_o only_o son_n have_v a_o mind_n to_o bind_v he_o out_o to_o a_o butcher_n but_o be_v willing_a to_o get_v he_o a_o master_n where_o he_o may_v best_o learn_v his_o trade_n he_o ask_v his_o friend_n to_o who_o he_o shall_v bind_v he_o oh_o say_v he_o there_o be_v a_o physician_n in_o our_o village_n bound_v he_o to_o he_o for_o he_o kill_v more_o than_o all_o beside_o in_o the_o town_n 296._o a_o great_a scholar_n or_o a_o mere_a one_o as_o we_o say_v that_o take_v care_n neither_o for_o wife_n child_n nor_o any_o thing_n but_o his_o book_n be_v translate_n a_o greek_a book_n into_o latin_a and_o
haste_n to_o buy_v a_o pig_n but_o not_o like_v those_o that_o be_v dead_a will_v have_v a_o live_v one_o sir_n say_v she_o i_o have_v one_o of_o the_o same_o bigness_n alive_a the_o price_n be_v so_o much_o well_o here_o be_v your_o money_n say_v he_o but_o how_o shall_v i_o carry_v it_o why_o for_o a_o groat_n you_o shall_v have_v poke_v and_o all_o poke_v what_o be_v d'at_fw-mi say_v the_o frenchman_n it_o be_v a_o bag_n sir_n say_v she_o that_o it_o be_v tie_v up_o in_o oh_o the_o bag_n be_v that_o the_o poke_v well_o here_o be_v a_o groat_n thus_o away_o he_o go_v with_o his_o bargain_n home_o but_o when_o he_o come_v to_o look_v in_o the_o poke_v o_o de_fw-fr diable_fw-fr say_v he_o be_v this_fw-mi de_fw-fr pig_n de_fw-fr devil_fw-mi take_v i_o if_o i_o do_v buy_v de_fw-fr pig_n in_o the_o poke_v again_o 16._o a_o tailor_n that_o be_v ever_o accustom_v to_o steal_v some_o of_o the_o cloth_n his_o customer_n bring_v when_o he_o come_v one_o day_n to_o make_v himself_o a_o suit_n steal_v half_o a_o yard_n his_o wife_n perceive_v it_o ask_v the_o reason_n oh_o say_v he_o it_o be_v to_o keep_v my_o hand_n in_o use_n least_o at_o any_o time_n i_o shall_v forget_v it_o 17._o a_o scholar_n that_o fancy_v himself_o to_o sing_v well_o notwithstanding_o he_o have_v a_o very_a hoarse_a voice_n have_v often_o observe_v that_o a_o poor_a woman_n be_v use_v to_o cry_v when_o she_o hear_v he_o sing_v ask_v she_o at_o last_o the_o reason_n true_o sir_n say_v she_o when_o through_o poverty_n i_o have_v sell_v all_o my_o good_n and_o have_v nothing_o leave_v but_o a_o poor_a ass_n at_o last_o i_o lose_v my_o ass_n and_o i_o never_o hear_v you_o sing_v but_o you_o put_v i_o in_o mind_n of_o it_o 18._o a_o cook_n leave_v his_o master_n who_o be_v very_o miserable_a and_o spare_v in_o his_o diet_n when_o his_o master_n ask_v he_o the_o reason_n true_o sir_n say_v he_o i_o be_o afraid_a that_o if_o i_o stay_v here_o long_o i_o shall_v forget_v my_o trade_n 19_o one_o see_v a_o barelegged_a fellow_n run_v on_o a_o errand_n say_v do_v you_o hear_v friend_n when_o those_o stocking_n be_v wear_v out_o i_o will_v give_v you_o a_o new_a pair_n i_o thank_v you_o sir_n reply_v the_o other_o these_o stocking_n have_v last_v i_o a_o great_a while_n i_o have_v also_o a_o pair_n of_o breeches_n of_o the_o same_o stuff_n that_o never_o have_v but_o one_o hole_n in_o they_o and_o that_o be_v at_o your_o service_n too_o 20._o a_o gentleman_n pass_v by_o a_o poor_a man_n ask_v alm_n of_o he_o whereupon_o the_o gentleman_n ask_v he_o what_o he_o live_v upon_o sir_n say_v he_o i_o can_v make_v no_o answer_n to_o that_o but_o have_v you_o ask_v i_o what_o i_o die_v of_o i_o shall_v have_v tell_v you_o of_o hunger_n 21._o a_o drunken_a hector_n be_v bring_v before_o a_o justice_n of_o peace_n upon_o the_o account_n of_o swear_v be_v command_v to_o deposit_v his_o fine_a which_o be_v two_o shilling_n thereupon_o pluck_v out_o a_o half-crown_n say_v pray_v what_o shall_v i_o have_v pay_v have_v i_o curse_v the_o justice_n tell_v he_o six_o penny_n then_o quoth_v he_o a_o pox_n take_v you_o all_o for_o a_o company_n of_o knave_n and_o fool_n and_o there_o be_v half_a a_o crown_n for_o you_o i_o will_v never_o stand_v change_v of_o money_n 22._o a_o gentleman_n meet_v the_o king_n jester_n ask_v what_o news_n why_o sir_n reply_v he_o there_o be_v forty_o thousand_o man_n rise_v to_o day_n i_o pray_v to_o what_o end_n say_v the_o other_o and_o what_o do_v they_o intend_v why_o to_o go_v to_o bed_n again_o at_o night_n say_v he_o 23._o a_o gentleman_n play_v a_o game_n at_o table_n in_o a_o chamber_n in_o fleetstreet_n four_o story_n high_a have_v so_o order_v his_o game_n that_o no_o chance_n of_o the_o die_n can_v lose_v it_o but_o one_o yet_o it_o so_o happen_v that_o that_o chance_n come_v whereupon_o he_o grow_v so_o passionate_a that_o bring_v down_o the_o table_n into_o the_o street_n he_o make_v a_o stop_n and_o ask_v the_o next_o gentleman_n that_o come_v if_o he_o understand_v the_o game_n the_o gentleman_n say_v he_o do_v then_o pray_v sir_n say_v he_o what_o do_v you_o think_v can_v lose_v i_o the_o game_n then_o pause_v a_o little_a i_o think_v there_o be_v nothing_o but_o such_o a_o chance_n why_o then_o say_v the_o passionate_a gamester_n god_n dam_v i_o if_o i_o have_v not_o throw_v it_o 23._o one_o ask_v why_o man_n soon_o give_v to_o poor_a people_n that_o beg_v than_o to_o scholar_n it_o be_v say_v one_o because_o they_o think_v they_o may_v soon_o come_v to_o be_v poor_a than_o to_o be_v scholar_n 24._o a_o courtier_n have_v beg_v a_o rich_a land_a fool_n of_o the_o king_n make_v he_o wait_v upon_o he_o so_o the_o fool_n come_v one_o day_n with_o his_o master_n to_o a_o gentleman_n house_n where_o the_o picture_n of_o a_o fool_n be_v wrought_v in_o a_o rich_a suit_n of_o arras_n hang_n cut_v out_o the_o fool_n with_o his_o knife_n and_o be_v accuse_v for_o it_o you_o have_v more_o reason_n say_v he_o to_o commend_v and_o give_v i_o thanks_o for_o it_o for_o have_v my_o master_n see_v the_o picture_n of_o a_o fool_n in_o your_o hang_n he_o will_v have_v beg_v they_o of_o the_o king_n 25._o a_o countryman_n come_v to_o paris_n with_o his_o ass_n load_v the_o beast_n stick_v in_o a_o d●rty_a place_n of_o the_o road_n wherefore_o the_o peasant_n strike_v he_o with_o a_o stick_n to_o make_v he_o rise_v till_o at_o last_o a_o courtier_n pass_v by_o say_v how_o now_o villain_n be_v thou_o not_o ashamed_a to_o abuse_v thy_o beast_n so_o if_o thou_o strike_v he_o again_o i_o will_v give_v thou_o a_o hundred_o blow_n with_o the_o same_o cudgel_n the_o poor_a man_n ignorant_a what_o to_o do_v pull_v off_o his_o hat_n till_o the_o gentleman_n be_v past_a and_o then_o begin_v to_o beat_v his_o beast_n worse_o than_o before_o say_v how_o now_o my_o ass_n who_o will_v have_v think_v that_o thou_o have_v have_v friend_n at_o court_n 26._o a_o french_a peasant_n pass_v by_o a_o ditch_n with_o his_o cart_n full_a of_o onion_n the_o cart_n overturn_v and_o the_o onion_n fall_v into_o the_o water_n then_o see_v there_o be_v no_o remedy_n morebleau_n say_v he_o here_o want_v nothing_o but_o salt_n to_o make_v good_a pottage_n 27._o a_o stranger_n be_v much_o necessitate_v as_o he_o walk_v into_o the_o city_n to_o do_v that_o no_o one_o can_v do_v for_o he_o and_o be_v in_o a_o place_n far_o from_o any_o of_o his_o acquaintance_n and_o void_a of_o convenience_n for_o that_o purpose_n go_v into_o a_o upholster_n shop_n and_o ask_v the_o man_n to_o show_v he_o a_o close-stool_n which_o be_v do_v he_o ask_v if_o he_o have_v no_o better_o yes_o sir_n we_o have_v say_v he_o of_o all_o colour_a velvet_n go_v then_o say_v he_o and_o fetch_v two_o or_o three_o in_o the_o mean_a time_n he_o let_v down_o his_o breeches_n and_o sit_v down_o the_o upholsterer_n see_v he_o in_o that_o posture_n ask_v he_o what_o he_o do_v i_o be_o try_v it_o say_v he_o and_o pull_v up_o his_o breeches_n i_o will_v have_v none_o of_o they_o they_o be_v all_o too_o low_a 28._o a_o apprentice_n of_o london_n be_v bring_v before_o the_o chamberlain_n by_o his_o master_n for_o the_o sin_n of_o incontinency_n even_o with_o his_o own_o mistress_n the_o chamberlain_n thereupon_o give_v he_o many_o christian_a exhortation_n and_o at_o last_o mention_v and_o press_v the_o chastity_n of_o joseph_n when_o his_o mistress_n tempt_v he_o with_o the_o like_a crime_n of_o incontinency_n i_o sir_n say_v the_o apprentice_n but_o if_o joseph_n mistress_n have_v be_v as_o handsome_a as_o i_o be_v he_o can_v not_o have_v forbear_v 29._o it_o happen_v in_o chancery_n when_o the_o council_n of_o the_o party_n set_v forth_o the_o boundary_a of_o the_o land_n in_o question_n by_o the_o plot_n and_o the_o council_n of_o one_o part_n say_v we_o lie_v on_o this_o side_n my_o lrod_n and_o the_o council_n of_o the_o other_o part_n say_v we_o lie_v on_o this_o side_n the_o lord_n chancellor_n stand_v up_o and_o say_v if_o you_o lie_v on_o both_o side_n who_o will_v you_o have_v i_o believe_v 30._o it_o happen_v that_o a_o old_a and_o a_o young_a gentleman_n court_v a_o young_a lady_n and_o both_o one_o day_n meet_v at_o her_o house_n together_o the_o young_a one_o be_v much_o trouble_v at_o the_o sight_n of_o his_o rival_n say_v mock_v pray_v sir_n how_o old_a be_v you_o to_o which_o the_o old_a man_n answer_v it_o be_v hard_a for_o i_o to_o tell_v you_o exact_o my_o age_n because_o i_o never_o reckon_v it_o but_o i_o be_o very_o certain_a
they_o say_v to_o he_o see_v he_o in_o a_o passion_n that_o he_o can_v not_o pass_v sudden_o other_o sir_n have_v past_a by_o and_o there_o be_v room_n enough_o but_o it_o may_v be_v your_o horn_n be_v wide_a than_o they_o 59_o a_o valiant_a captain_n when_o some_o of_o his_o timorous_a companion_n to_o hinder_v the_o join_n of_o the_o battle_n tell_v he_o their_o enemy_n be_v three_o time_n as_o many_o as_o they_o be_v they_o so_o say_v he_o no_o whit_n dismay_v than_o i_o be_o very_o glad_a for_o there_o be_v enough_o to_o be_v kill_v enough_o to_o be_v take_v prisoner_n and_o enough_o to_o run_v away_o 60._o one_o who_o have_v always_o be_v very_o jocose_v in_o his_o life_n time_n when_o he_o lie_v on_o his_o deathbed_n his_o chief_a clerk_n come_v and_o desire_v he_o will_v leave_v he_o a_o legacy_n here_o say_v he_o give_v he_o a_o key_n in_o such_o a_o drawer_n there_o be_v that_o will_v make_v thou_o drink_v not_o many_o hour_n after_o he_o die_v and_o the_o youth_n greedy_o open_v the_o box_n find_v nought_o there_o but_o two_o red_a herring_n 61._o a_o merry_a gentleman_n ride_v on_o the_o road_n see_v a_o boy_n foul_a his_o breeches_n why_o sirrah_n say_v he_o be_v you_o not_o ashamed_a to_o make_v a_o fool_n in_o your_o breeches_n alas_o sir_n say_v he_o you_o make_v a_o worse_o of_o your_o doublet_n to_o button_n up_o such_o a_o ass_n in_o it_o 62._o it_o be_v report_v of_o a_o certain_a debauch_a person_n that_o he_o be_v wont_v very_o devout_o to_o say_v his_o prayer_n always_o in_o the_o morning_n and_o then_o at_o his_o departure_n out_o of_o his_o house_n he_o will_v cry_v now_o devil_n do_v thy_o worst_a 63._o sir_n roger_n williams_n hear_v a_o spaniard_n foolish_o brag_v of_o his_o country_n salad_n give_v he_o this_o answer_n you_o have_v indeed_o good_a sauce_n in_o spain_n but_o we_o in_o england_n have_v dainty_a beef_n veal_n and_o mutton_n and_o as_o god_n make_v beast_n to_o live_v on_o grass_n so_o he_o make_v man_n to_o live_v on_o beast_n 64._o when_o the_o trojan_n send_v ambassador_n to_o tiberius_n to_o condole_v the_o death_n of_o his_o father_n augustus_n a_o long_a time_n after_o he_o be_v dead_a the_o emperor_n consider_v the_o unseasonableness_n of_o it_o requite_v they_o according_o say_v and_o i_o be_o sorry_a for_o your_o heaviness_n have_v lose_v so_o valiant_a a_o knight_n as_o hector_n who_o be_v slay_v above_o a_o thousand_o year_n before_o 65._o a_o certain_a papist_n search_a to_o know_v perfect_o concern_v the_o mass_n find_v at_o the_o end_n of_o st._n paul_n epistle_n missa_fw-la est_fw-la and_o brag_v he_o have_v find_v the_o mass_n in_o the_o bible_n another_z reading_z john_n 1.4_o invenimus_fw-la messiam_fw-la make_v the_o same_o conclusion_n 66._o the_o standard_n by_o comfort_v a_o natural_a that_o lie_v on_o his_o deathbed_n tell_v he_o that_o four_o proper_a fellow_n shall_v carry_v his_o body_n to_o the_o church_n yea_o quoth_v he_o but_o i_o have_v by_o half_a rather_o go_v thither_o myself_o 67._o galateus_n duke_n of_o milan_n be_v tell_v of_o a_o certain_a lawyer_n who_o by_o his_o quick_a and_o crafty_a wit_n can_v draw_v a_o fair_a glove_n on_o a_o foul_a hand_n thereby_o multiply_v suit_n and_o wrong_v the_o innocent_a send_v for_o he_o and_o say_v sir_n i_o owe_v my_o baker_n five_o hundred_o pound_n and_o have_v no_o mind_n to_o pay_v he_o will_v you_o undertake_v to_o defend_v i_o and_o free_v i_o from_o the_o debt_n he_o answer_v he_o will_v the_o duke_n therefore_o first_o reprove_v he_o sharp_o for_o his_o deceit_n and_o wrong_n deal_n then_o cause_v he_o to_o be_v hang_v 68_o two_o good_a wife_n have_v now_o well_o warm_v their_o knee_n by_o the_o fire_n and_o their_o nose_n over_o a_o pot_n and_o a_o toss_v fall_v into_o a_o hot_a dispute_n concern_v their_o brewer_n mother_n damnable_a say_v her_o ale_n be_v the_o best_a in_o england_n because_o it_o be_v so_o and_o mother_n louse_n say_v her_o brewer_n brew_v the_o best_a stale_a beer_n in_o the_o world_n 69._o a_o fool_n as_o he_o wander_v by_o the_o river_n side_n at_o last_o climb_v up_o a_o osier_n and_o there_o seat_v himself_o not_o long_o after_o one_o pass_v by_o that_o know_v he_o ask_v he_o what_o he_o do_v there_o only_o gather_v a_o few_o nut_n say_v he_o 70._o a_o boy_n go_v through_o the_o street_n with_o a_o peck_n loaf_n upon_o his_o head_n where_o be_v a_o great_a concourse_n of_o people_n hit_v a_o gentleman_n unaware_o with_o the_o corner_n of_o the_o loaf_n over_o the_o face_n why_o how_o now_o you_o rude_a rascal_n say_v the_o gentleman_n can_v you_o see_v spare_v your_o breath_n reply_v the_o youth_n i_o be_o as_o well_o breed_v as_o yourself_o 71._o a_o poor_a but_o witty_a lad_n bring_v up_o to_o the_o university_n and_o admit_v in_o a_o college_n can_v not_o go_v to_o the_o price_n of_o a_o new_a pair_n of_o shoe_n but_o when_o his_o old_a one_o be_v wear_v out_o at_o the_o toe_n have_v they_o capt_n with_o leather_n whereupon_o his_o companion_n begin_v to_o jeer_v he_o for_o so_o do_v why_o say_v he_o must_v they_o not_o be_v capt_n be_v they_o not_o fellow_n 72._o a_o young_a man_n have_v raise_v a_o maid_n belly_n and_o the_o bulk_n now_o evident_o manifest_v the_o fact_n his_o friend_n and_o relation_n come_v purposely_o together_o to_o reprove_v he_o and_o every_o one_o have_v a_o say_n at_o he_o though_o in_o general_a every_o one_o say_v they_o wonder_v he_o shall_v do_v so_o and_o so_o why_o what_o a_o wonder_a say_v the_o young_a man_n do_v you_o make_v that_o i_o shall_v get_v she_o with_o child_n be_v not_o that_o usual_a therefore_o no_o cause_n of_o wonder_n but_o you_o may_v have_v wonder_v indeed_o have_v she_o get_v i_o with_o child_n 73._o a_o country_n peasant_n have_v often_o observe_v that_o there_o appear_v not_o so_o many_o star_n in_o the_o west_n as_o in_o the_o east_n at_o which_o the_o philosopher_n much_o concern_v often_o make_v it_o his_o business_n to_o walk_v out_o at_o night_n in_o the_o field_n diligent_o observe_v the_o west_n to_o see_v if_o he_o can_v find_v out_o the_o reason_n at_o last_o he_o see_v a_o meteor_n fall_v by_z and_o by_o another_o than_o two_o or_o three_o together_o nay_o then_o say_v he_o i_o shall_v cease_v to_o wonder_v that_o there_o be_v few_o star_n in_o the_o west_n than_o in_o the_o east_n since_o so_o many_o fall_n every_o night_n 74._o a_o fool_n fear_v to_o be_v beat_v go_v away_o private_o and_o hide_v himself_o behind_o some_o bush_n in_o the_o garden_n but_o when_o they_o begin_v to_o search_v for_o he_o and_o can_v not_o find_v he_o he_o peep_v over_o the_o bush_n and_o cry_n you_o do_v see_v i_o you_o can_v see_v i_o 75._o a_o stranger_n pass_v through_o the_o temple_n have_v a_o pisspot_n discharge_v upon_o his_o head_n not_o long_o after_o he_o meet_v with_o a_o friend_n pray_v what_o place_n call_v you_o that_o say_v he_o it_o be_v a_o inn_n of_o court_n reply_v the_o other_o and_o what_o do_v they_o do_v there_o why_o they_o study_v the_o law_n i_o believe_v rather_o quoth_v he_o they_o study_v physic_n they_o cast_v so_o much_o water_n and_o rake-hell_n they_o be_v i_o be_o sure_a for_o they_o throw_v the_o stool_n out_o of_o the_o window_n too_o 76._o a_o great_a courtier_n see_v his_o jester_n stumble_v why_o how_o now_o can_v you_o not_o stand_v say_v he_o yes_o reply_v he_o i_o can_v and_o stumble_v and_o rise_v again_o too_o but_o have_v a_o care_n for_o if_o you_o fall_v perhaps_o you_o may_v never_o rise_v 77._o a_o gentleman_n pass_v through_o cambridge_n on_o a_o founder_a horse_n see_v a_o scholar_n of_o his_o acquaintance_n come_v to_o meet_v he_o strive_v therefore_o to_o spare_v he_o the_o trouble_n he_o whip_v his_o horse_n cry_v up_o bacon_n his_o friend_n ask_v he_o the_o reason_n why_o he_o call_v he_o bacon_n because_o say_v he_o he_o be_v very-lame_a now_o my_o lord_n bacon_n title_n be_v verulam_n 78._o some_o merry_a companion_n be_v at_o a_o sing_a club_n among_o many_o other_o song_n and_o catch_n sing_v at_o last_o that_o of_o new_a oyster_n new_a oyster_n new_a oyster_n new_a etc._n etc._n whereupon_o one_o that_o stand_v by_o laugh_v to_o hear_v his_o friend_n cry_v oyster_n his_o friend_n ask_v he_o how_o he_o will_v cry_v oyster_n why_o reply_v he_o i_o will_v cry_v o_o yes_o o_o yes_o o_o yes_o that_o be_v o_o yes_o ter_z 79._o king_n james_n have_v see_v two_o play_n perform_v by_o the_o scholar_n of_o both_o university_n one_o of_o cambridge_n where_o one_o name_v sleep_n act_v so_o well_o that_o the_o king_n command_v he_o to_o stop_v for_o fear_v
ignorance_n her_o have_v one_o pistol_n and_o unless_o her_o give_v she_o her_o money_n she_o shall_v make_v it_o pounce_n through_o she_o and_o so_o force_v the_o thief_n to_o restore_v he_o his_o cloak-bag_n again_o 263._o a_o certain_a bold_a woman_n come_v to_o gratian_n the_o emperor_n and_o with_o much_o clamour_n complain_v to_o he_o of_o her_o husband_n to_o who_o the_o emperor_n mild_o say_v woman_n what_o be_v these_o thing_n to_o i_o yea_o say_v she_o for_o he_o have_v also_o speak_v many_o thing_n against_o thou_o to_o which_o the_o emperor_n answer_v woman_n what_o be_v that_o to_o thou_o which_o so_o abash_v the_o woman_n that_o she_o go_v away_o ashamed_a 264._o a_o boy_n vapour_a of_o his_o game_n cock_n say_v it_o will_v die_v in_o the_o place_n nay_o say_v a_o gentleman_n standing_z by_z give_v i_o a_o cock_n that_o will_v live_v in_o the_o place_n 265._o at_o the_o battle_n of_o newport_n the_o prince_n of_o orange_n have_v the_o spanish_a army_n before_o he_o and_o the_o sea_n behind_o he_o say_v to_o his_o soldier_n if_o you_o will_v live_v you_o must_v choose_v one_o of_o these_o two_o thing_n of_o necessity_n either_o to_o eat_v those_o spaniard_n or_o drink_v that_o sea_n which_o so_o increase_v the_o soldier_n appetite_n to_o war_n that_o they_o eat_v up_o the_o spaniard_n indeed_o and_o get_v a_o noble_a victory_n 266._o when_o among_o many_o article_n exhibit_v to_o king_n henry_n by_o the_o irish_a against_o the_o earl_n of_o kildar_n the_o last_o be_v final_o all_o ireland_n can_v rule_v this_o earl_n th●n_n quoth_v the_o king_n the_o earl_n shall_v rule_v all_o ireland_n and_o so_o make_v he_o his_o deputy_n 267._o a_o gentleman_n be_v prick_v for_o high_a sheriff_n who_o by_o reason_n of_o some_o indisposition_n desire_v to_o get_v off_o from_o that_o office_n his_o wife_n inquire_v into_o the_o matter_n ask_v a_o gentleman_n concern_v it_o alas_o madam_n say_v he_o your_o husband_n be_v prick_v by_o the_o king_n and_o it_o can_v be_v alter_v why_o sir_n say_v she_o again_o do_v the_o king_n prick_v always_o stand_v 268._o about_o the_o year_n 1670_o there_o be_v a_o notable_a robber_n hang_v at_o tyburn_n who_o name_n be_v brass_n whereupon_o a_o witty_a person_n say_v it_o be_v no_o wonder_n if_o so_o many_o robbery_n be_v commit_v since_o our_o wall_n be_v but_o clay_n and_o our_o thief_n of_o brass_n 269._o king_n john_n be_v persuade_v by_o a_o courtier_n to_o untomb_v the_o bone_n of_o one_o who_o in_o his_o life_n time_n have_v be_v his_o great_a enemy_n o_o no_o say_v he_o i_o will_v to_o god_n all_o my_o enemy_n be_v as_o honourable_o bury_v 270._o queen_n elizabeth_z come_v to_o a_o free-school_n where_o she_o have_v a_o oration_n speak_v to_o she_o by_o one_o of_o the_o boy_n she_o afterward_o ask_v he_o how_o often_o he_o have_v be_v whip_v to_o which_o he_o witty_o answer_v with_o the_o word_n of_o aeneas_n to_o queen_n dido_n infandum_fw-la regina_fw-la jubes_fw-la renovare_fw-la dolorem_fw-la 271._o another_o time_n have_v some_o verse_n make_v to_o she_o extempore_o by_o a_o poor_a schoolboy_n and_o understand_v his_o condition_n she_o say_v make_v i_o some_o verse_n upon_o this_o pauper_fw-la ubique_fw-la iaceo_fw-la to_o which_o he_o say_v in_o thalamis_fw-la regina_fw-la tuis_fw-la hac_fw-la nocte_fw-la jacerem_fw-la si_fw-la verum_fw-la hoc_fw-la esset_fw-la pauper_fw-la ubique_fw-la iaceo_fw-la 272._o a_o papist_n as_o their_o usual_a manner_n be_v ask_v a_o protestant_n where_o his_o religion_n be_v before_o luther_n why_o in_o the_o bible_n answer_v he_o where_o your_o never_o be_v 273._o sir_n walter_n raleigh_n ask_v a_o favour_n of_o queen_n elizabeth_n say_v the_o queen_n sir_n walter_z when_o do_v you_o intend_v to_o leave_v off_o beg_v when_o your_o gracious_a majesty_n reply_v he_o shall_v leave_v off_o give_v 274._o when_o one_o ask_v his_o friend_n to_o assist_v he_o in_o a_o base_a action_n and_o be_v deny_v what_o be_o i_o the_o better_a say_v he_o for_o such_o a_o friend_n that_o deny_v i_o his_o help_n and_o what_o be_o i_o the_o better_a say_v the_o other_o for_o a_o friend_n that_o demand_v such_o unreasonable_a thing_n 275._o john_n scot_n famous_a through_o the_o whole_a world_n for_o his_o learning_n be_v ask_v by_o a_o young_a gallant_a that_o think_v to_o have_v jest_v on_o he_o as_o he_o sit_v at_o table_n what_o difference_n there_o be_v between_o scot_n and_o a_o sot_n answer_v sudden_o mensa_fw-la tantum_fw-la that_o be_v the_o table_n breadth_n for_o the_o other_o sit_v just_a over_o against_o he_o 276._o the_o same_o person_n be_v worthy_o entertain_v by_o charolus_n calvus_n the_o french_a king_n as_o he_o be_v once_o at_o dinner_n with_o the_o king_n there_o be_v a_o dish_n wherein_o be_v two_o great_a fish_n and_o a_o little_a one_o the_o king_n have_v taste_v it_o send_v it_o down_o to_o scot_n to_o distribute_v it_o to_o two_o other_o clerk_n that_o sit_v by_o he_o and_o be_v two_o tall_a proper_a person_n wherefore_o john_n take_v the_o dish_n give_v the_o little_a fish_n to_o the_o other_o two_o and_o keep_v the_o two_o great_a one_o for_o himself_o the_o king_n observe_v this_o division_n blame_v he_o for_o not_o have_v deal_v equal_o but_o he_o prove_v his_o distribution_n to_o be_v just_a after_o this_o manner_n here_o say_v he_o be_v two_o great_a one_o and_o a_o little_a one_o point_v to_o the_o two_o great_a fish_n and_o himself_o who_o be_v but_o little_a of_o stature_n and_o there_o be_v one_o little_a one_o and_o two_o grea_n once_o point_v to_o the_o little_a fish_n and_o the_o two_o tall_a clerk_n and_o what_o distribution_n can_v be_v more_o equal_a 277._o a_o scotchman_n present_v king_n james_n with_o a_o turnip_n of_o a_o extraordinary_a and_o prodigious_a size_n which_o be_v a_o root_n the_o scotchman_n love_v very_o much_o the_o king_n please_v with_o the_o humour_n give_v he_o a_o hundred_o pound_n which_o another_o courtier_n see_v if_o the_o king_n think_v he_o reward_v a_o turnip_n giver_n so_o liberal_o what_o will_v he_o do_v to_o he_o that_o offer_v a_o great_a present_n and_o thereupon_o present_v the_o king_n with_o a_o very_a excellent_a race-horse_n wherefore_o the_o king_n turn_v to_o his_o noble_n say_v what_o shall_v we_o give_v this_o man_n and_o when_o all_o be_v silent_a by_o my_o soul_n man_n say_v he_o let_v we_o give_v he_o the_o turnip_n 278._o when_o metellus_n nepos_n ask_v cicero_n the_o roman_a orator_n in_o a_o jeer_a way_n who_o be_v his_o father_n he_o reply_v thy_o mother_n have_v make_v that_o question_n hard_o for_o thou_o to_o answer_v 279._o marcus_n livius_n the_o roman_a who_o be_v governor_n of_o tarentum_n when_o hannibal_n take_v it_o be_v envious_a to_o see_v so_o much_o honour_v do_v to_o fabius_n maximus_n say_v one_o day_n open_o in_o the_o senate_n that_o it_o be_v himself_n not_o fabius_n maximus_n that_o be_v the_o cause_n of_o the_o retake_v the_o city_n of_o tarentum_n fabius_n smile_v to_o hear_v he_o answer_v witty_o indeed_o thou_o speak_v truth_n for_o if_o thou_o have_v not_o lose_v it_o i_o have_v never_o win_v it_o again_o 280._o when_o parson_n bull_n come_v to_o visit_v the_o chancellor_n hide_v hide_v say_v smile_v bull_n where_o be_v your_o horn_n sir_n reply_v he_o they_o go_v always_o with_o the_o hide_n 281._o pope_n benedict_n when_o the_o ambassador_n of_o the_o council_n of_o constance_n come_v to_o he_o lay_v his_o hand_n on_o his_o breast_n he_o say_v hic_fw-la est_fw-la arca_n noae_n to_o which_o they_o tart_o but_o true_o reply_v in_o noah_n ark_n there_o be_v few_o man_n but_o many_o beast_n 282._o a_o blind_a man_n hire_v a_o lame_a man_n that_o be_v one_o that_o have_v but_o one_o leg_n and_o the_o other_o a_o wooden_a one_o to_o lead_v he_o up_o and_o down_o the_o street_n the_o more_o to_o move_v the_o pity_n of_o the_o beholder_n and_o as_o they_o travel_v one_o day_n the_o lame_a man_n see_v a_o oyster_n lie_v in_o the_o way_n wherefore_o stoop_v down_o to_o reach_v it_o the_o other_o perceive_v he_o make_v a_o stop_n and_o ask_v he_o what_o he_o take_v up_o so_o he_o tell_v he_o that_o he_o have_v find_v a_o lovely_a oyster_n give_v it_o i_o say_v the_o blind_a man_n the_o other_o by_o the_o right_n of_o fortune_n say_v it_o be_v he_o and_o will_v not_o deliver_v it_o notwithstanding_o the_o blind_a man_n plead_v he_o be_v his_o master_n then_o they_o resolve_v to_o be_v judge_v by_o the_o next_o they_o meet_v which_o happen_v to_o be_v a_o subtle_a lawyer_n who_o after_o he_o understand_v the_o matter_n and_o that_o these_o two_o fool_n must_v wrangle_v for_o so_o small_a a_o matter_n draw_v out_o his_o knife_n and_o open_v the_o oyster_n then_o eat_v it_o and_o give_v
manner_n give_v they_o their_o due_a hire_n and_o when_o he_o return_v into_o the_o country_n again_o begin_v among_o the_o rest_n of_o his_o news_n and_o all_o the_o fine_a thing_n he_o have_v see_v at_o london_n to_o tell_v that_o he_o have_v be_v carry_v in_o a_o sedan_n wherefore_o every_o one_o be_v desirous_a to_o know_v how_o it_o be_v why_o it_o be_v say_v he_o like_o 〈◊〉_d watch_n house_n only_o it_o be_v cover_v with_o leather_n and_o be_v it_o not_o for_o the_o name_n of_o a_o sedan_n one_o have_v as_o good_a go_v on_o foot_n 140._o one_o meet_v his_o friend_n in_o the_o street_n where_o be_v a_o great_a stop_n of_o coach_n that_o none_o can_v pass_v ask_v he_o where_o he_o be_v go_v to_o the_o market_n reply_v the_o other_o to_o buy_v some_o meat_n well_o then_o go_v by_o say_v he_o 〈◊〉_d you_o can_v farewell_n 141._o a_o countryman_n come_v to_o londo●_n into_o a_o bookseller_n shop_n to_o buy_v a_o bible_n the_o man_n show_v he_o one_o that_o have_v a_o patch_n in_o the_o cover_n the_o countryman_n displease_v at_o that_o will_v see_v more_o whereat_o the_o master_n come_v out_o ask_v his_o man_n what_o his_o chapman_n will_v have_v sir_n say_v his_o boy_n he_o want_v a_o bible_n and_o he_o do_v not_o like_o this_o then_o his_o master_n look_v on_o it_o why_o sirrah_n say_v he_o to_o his_o apprentice_n have_v i_o but_o one_o double_a cover_a bible_n in_o all_o the_o shop_n and_o you_o must_v show_v every_o one_o this_o o_o pray_v say_v the_o countryman_n let_v i_o have_v it_o by_o all_o mean_n if_o it_o be_v double_a cover_v for_o i_o will_v fain_o have_v a_o last_a one_o and_o so_o pay_v down_o the_o price_n most_o willing_o 142._o thomas_n frog_n and_o mr._n john_n rain_n meet_v accidental_o at_o a_o broad_a kennel_n in_o the_o street_n and_o know_v one_o another_o frog_n be_v still_o hinder_v rain_n and_o will_v fain_o be_v leap_v over_o but_o rain_n strive_v to_o get_v over_o frog_n begin_v to_o scold_v at_o he_o for_o dirt_v his_o stocking_n i_o think_v these_o frog_n be_v always_o croak_a in_o wet_a weather_n say_v rain_n so_o you_o must_v expect_v say_v frog_n again_o till_o the_o rain_n be_v over_o 143._o a_o university_n scholar_n be_v hot_a in_o discourse_n at_o the_o table_n in_o the_o hall_n and_o so_o loud_a that_o the_o fellow_n hear_v he_o the_o dean_n send_v to_o he_o to_o be_v quiet_a after_o this_o manner_n by_o the_o servitor_n vir_fw-la sapit_fw-la qui_fw-la pauca_fw-la loquor_fw-la to_o which_o he_o return_v this_o answer_n vir_fw-la loquor_fw-la qui_fw-la pauca_fw-la sapit_fw-la 144._o a_o gentleman_n be_v choke_v with_o a_o honeycomb_n his_o friend_n begin_v to_o bemoan_v he_o why_o make_v you_o such_o lamentation_n say_v another_o never_o man_n die_v a_o sweet_a death_n 145._o one_o see_v a_o lady_n leg_n as_o she_o lift_v up_o her_o coat_n a_o little_a too_o high_a he_o say_v to_o she_o madam_n you_o have_v a_o very_a handsome_a pair_n of_o twin_n you_o be_v mistake_v sir_n say_v she_o for_o i_o have_v have_v one_o between_o they_o 146._o a_o minister_n marry_v a_o couple_n of_o his_o friend_n tell_v they_o afterward_o in_o merriment_n that_o if_o after_o they_o dislike_v they_o shall_v come_v to_o he_o again_o and_o he_o will_v un-marry_a they_o so_o this_o country_n couple_n go_v home_o and_o be_v very_o merry_a for_o the_o first_o week_n or_o two_o but_o at_o last_o dissension_n arise_v between_o they_o they_o both_o come_v again_o to_o the_o priest_n to_o be_v divorce_v hereupon_o he_o fetch_v out_o a_o great_a hatchet_n and_o ask_v who_o have_v the_o great_a desire_n to_o leave_v the_o other_o first_o for_o say_v he_o i_o have_v marry_v you_o till_o death_n you_o do_v depart_v and_o therefore_o it_o be_v expedient_a that_o i_o kill_v one_o of_o you_o 147._o a_o barber_n be_v a_o tobacconist_n and_o sell_v both_o hair_n and_o tobacco_n accidental_o in_o the_o same_o ounce_n to_o his_o customer_n for_o as_o much_o as_o some_o loose_a hair_n scatter_v by_o chance_n into_o the_o tobacco_n the_o next_o time_n his_o customer_n meet_v he_o and_o complain_v of_o his_o sell_v such_o bad_a tobacco_n that_o be_v full_a of_o hair_n true_o reply_v he_o i_o get_v much_o by_o sell_v such_o pennyworth_n a_o ounce_n of_o hair_n that_o cost_v i_o ten_o shilling_n for_o three_o penny_n 148._o a_o tall_a minister_n tell_v a_o short_a one_o scoff_o that_o he_o look_v in_o a_o pulpit_n like_o a_o collar_n of_o brawn_n in_o a_o dish_n and_o you_o reply_v he_o look_v like_o a_o pestle_n in_o a_o mortar_n 149._o at_o a_o great_a feast_n where_o many_o guest_n be_v present_a there_o be_v serve_v up_o among_o other_o good_a dish_n a_o great_a turkey_n pie_n i●_n who_o side_n the_o cat_n have_v eat_v a_o great_a hole_n this_o give_v the_o master_n occasion_n to_o be_v angry_a with_o his_o servant_n for_o their_o negligence_n but_o one_o of_o his_o guest_n say_v pray_v blame_v not_o your_o servant_n sir_n it_o be_v enough_o it_o have_v escape_v the_o turky-pie-cat_n so_o well_o 150._o it_o be_v at_o the_o same_o feast_n probable_o that_o a_o rice_n fool_n be_v bring_v up_o to_o the_o table_n when_o many_o of_o the_o guest_n doubt_v what_o it_o be_v one_o witty_o say_v per_fw-la risum_fw-la multum_fw-la possis_fw-la cognoscere_fw-la stultum_fw-la 151._o some_o gentleman_n quarrel_v at_o table_n one_o to_o reprehend_v the_o other_o of_o his_o great_a use_n of_o tobacco_n and_o the_o foulness_n of_o his_o mouth_n call_v he_o a_o foul_a tobacco-pipe_n the_o other_o ready_o tell_v he_o he_o be_v a_o dent_a quart-pot_n the_o strangeness_n of_o this_o metaphor_n stick_v in_o his_o mind_n and_o make_v he_o very_o urgent_a to_o know_v the_o reason_n because_o say_v he_o you_o seem_v to_o have_v more_o in_o you_o than_o you_o have_v 152._o a_o gentleman_n of_o the_o temple_n be_v new_o come_v up_o to_o london_n tell_v his_o friend_n he_o have_v bring_v up_o a_o horse_n with_o he_o and_o will_v sell_v it_o what_o have_v you_o he_o at_o your_o chamber_n say_v the_o other_o 153._o a_o mere_a scholar_n send_v one_o day_n for_o tim_n the_o s●●th_n to_o hang_v up_o two_o picture_n and_o ask_v he_o when_o he_o have_v do_v what_o he_o must_v have_v sir_n say_v tim_n there_o be_v two_o tenpenny_n nail_n and_o what_o you_o please_v for_o my_o labour_n well_o there_o sirrah_n be_v two_o shilling_n say_v the_o gentleman_n that_o be_v a_o groat_n for_o thy_o pain_n and_o twenty_o penny_n for_o thy_o nail_n go_v thy_o way_n 154._o a_o humorist_n call_v for_o a_o reckon_n find_v there_o be_v ten_o penny_n to_o pay_v wherefore_o break_v the_o glass_n he_o have_v in_o his_o hand_n against_o the_o wall_n damn_v you_o there_o be_v a_o shilling_n sirrah_n for_o you_o say_v he_o to_o the_o tapster_n 155._o a_o man_n be_v abuse_v by_o many_o scandalous_a reproach_n of_o his_o neighbour_n as_o call_v he_o rogue_n his_o wife_n whore_n and_o the_o like_a sue_v he_o at_o law_n but_o find_v after_o much_o trouble_n those_o word_n will_v bear_v no_o action_n he_o be_v so_o incense_v that_o as_o he_o stand_v in_o the_o middle_n of_o the_o court_n he_o cry_v aloud_o my_o lord_n you_o be_v a_o rogue_n your_o wife_n ●s_v a_o whore_n and_o your_o child_n be_v all_o bastard_n 156._o two_o boy_n go_v together_o to_o school_n meet_v with_o one_o who_o name_n be_v pontius_n vrben_n a_o rag_n of_o the_o law_n that_o be_v not_o well_o in_o his_o wit_n let_v we_o call_v yonder_o fellow_n pontius_n pilate_n say_v one_o of_o they_o and_o then_o run_v away_o whereupon_o the_o man_n become_v so_o furious_a that_o the_o other_o be_v force_v also_o to_o double_v his_o pace_n and_o save_v himself_o in_o the_o school_n house_n present_o in_o come_v the_o man_n and_o will_v have_v beat_v he_o but_o that_o the_o master_n take_v he_o off_o and_o promise_v to_o whip_v he_o sound_o so_o at_o every_o l●sh_n he_o ask_v he_o if_o ever_o he_o will_v say_v ag●in_n pontius_n pilate_n to_o which_o he_o answer_v cry_v no_o sir_n the_o next_o d●y_n at_o prayer_n when_o the_o boy_n come_v to_o these_o word_n in_o the_o creed_n who_o suffer_v under_o pontius_n pilate_n he_o remember_v his_o fault_n and_o say_v who_o suffer_v under_o pontius_n urben_n 157._o other_o young_a scholar_n go_v up_o into_o a_o steeple_n to_o get_v a_o sparrow-hawk_n nest_n that_o be_v in_o a_o hole_n of_o the_o wall_n and_o because_o it_o be_v just_a over_o a_o window_n but_o just_a out_o of_o their_o reach_n they_o agree_v that_o the_o strong_a of_o the_o two_o shall_v hold_v out_o a_o board_n for_o the_o other_o to_o stand_v upon_o and_o take_v the_o nest_n this_o do_v he_o that_o take_v the_o nest_n call_v
see_v you_o do_v all_o under_o colour_n say_v the_o glazier_n to_o the_o painter_n see_v he_o daub_v some_o rail_n go_v your_o way_n for_o a_o rogue_n reply_v he_o you_o will_v never_o leave_v pick_v quarrel_n 179._o three_o great_a master_n of_o their_o trade_n a_o vaulter_n a_o barber_n and_o a_o fencer_n contend_v together_o who_o be_v the_o best_a experience_a in_o his_o art_n the_o vaulter_n leap●_n and_o sit_v a_o stag_n in_o his_o full_a course_n the_o barber_n shave_v a_o goat_n run_v the_o fencer_n in_o a_o rainy_a day_n so_o brandish_v his_o sword_n over_o his_o head_n that_o no_o drop_n of_o rain_n fall_v upon_o he_o let_v he_o judge_v which_o be_v the_o best_a that_o believe_v the_o story_n 180._o a_o fool_n that_o owe_v a_o carpenter_n a_o shrewd_a good_a turn_n find_v he_o one_o day_n in_o a_o sleep_n upon_o a_o form_n take_v the_o axe_n and_o cut_v off_o his_o head_n than_o cama_fw-la into_o the_o house_n laugh_v whereof_o when_o he_o be_v ask_v the_o reason_n it_o be_v say_v he_o to_o think_v how_o the_o carpenter_n will_v look_v for_o his_o head_n whe●_n he_o wake_v 181._o two_o fool_n lie_v together_o a_o great_a dispute_n arise_v who_o shall_v lie_v in_o the_o middle_n of_o those_o two_o and_o can_v not_o be_v end_v till_o one_o more_o wise_a lay_v a_o broom-staff_n between_o they_o 182._o a_o maid_n accuse_v a_o youth_n for_o ravish_v she_o before_o the_o justice_n this_o be_v a_o great_a ●rime_n say_v he_o indeed_o and_o do_v he_o never_o ●●e_v with_o you_o before_o if_o he_o do_v then_o ●ses_n if_o it_o please_v you_o sir_n say_v she_o at_o least_o six_o or_o seven_o time_n 183._o some_o merry_a companion_n talk_v of_o what_o rare_a piece_n of_o clockwork_n they_o have_v see_v one_o say_v he_o have_v see_v something_o far_a stranger_n which_o be_v a_o merchanick_n that_o pull_v out_o of_o his_o pocket_n three_o little_a cock_n one_o he_o call_v a_o french_a the_o other_o a_o dutch_a the_o three_o a_o english_a one_o then_o take_v the_o french_a one_o he_o strike_v he_o over_o the_o head_n this_o make_v the_o french_a cock_n cry_v out_o parley_n veu_n francois_n mounseur_fw-fr the_o dutch_a cock_n be_v strike_v in_o like_a manner_n cry_v give_v i_o a_o little_a english_a beer_n here_o he_o end_v his_o story_n whereupon_o the_o company_n and_o one_o especial_o be_v very_o desirous_a to_o know_v what_o the_o english_a cock_n say_v why_o reply_v he_o it_o cry_v put_v your_o nose_n here_o point_v to_o his_o breech_n put_v your_o nose_n here_o 184._o a_o physician_n be_v to_o examine_v a_o lad_n ask_v he_o why_o sick_a person_n be_v say_v to_o be_v patient_n because_o say_v he_o they_o suffer_v so_o much_o by_o the_o physician_n 185._o one_o say_v to_o his_o friend_n sir_n you_o be_v as_o wise_a as_o solomon_n the_o other_o reply_v and_o you_o be_v as_o wise_a as_o socrates_n why_o socrates_n because_o say_v he_o sciebat_fw-la tantum_fw-la se_fw-la nihil_fw-la scire_fw-la 186._o one_o tell_v his_o lady_n of_o pleasure_n she_o be_v very_o fruitful_a how_o can_v that_o be_v sir_n say_v she_o since_o i_o never_o have_v any_o child_n that_o be_v nothing_o madam_n say_v he_o nevertheless_o you_o bear_v many_o 187._o two_o gentleman_n a_o tall_a and_o a_o short_a one_o woo_v the_o same_o lady_n and_o her_o friend_n like_v both_o resolve_v to_o put_v it_o to_o her_o choice_n which_o she_o will_v have_v then_o view_v both_o well_o and_o compare_v their_o proportion_n with_o her_o desire_n see_v one_o short_a the_o other_o tall_a and_o lusty_a i_o will_v say_v she_o have_v the_o long_a one_o if_o all_o thing_n be_v proportionable_a 188._o one_o say_v a_o covetous_a man_n be_v never_o satisfy_v why_o so_o say_v his_o friend_n because_o reply_v he_o he_o think_v nothing_o enough_o why_o then_o say_v the_o other_o he_o be_v satisfy_v with_o least_o if_o nothing_o be_v enough_o for_o he_o 189._o one_o tell_v his_o wife_n there_o be_v a_o law_n come_v out_o that_o all_o cuckold_n shall_v be_v drown_v o_o pray_v husband_n say_v she_o then_o learn_v to_o swim_v 190._o one_o call_v another_o bastard_n that_o be_v so_o indeed_o therefore_o witty_o he_o answer_v child_n and_o fool_n tell_v truth_n 191._o a_o gentlewoman_n and_o her_o maid_n be_v to_o ●et_v up_o some_o clothes_n against_o christmas_n day_n have_v so_o delay_v the_o time_n to_o the_o very_o live_v that_o she_o herself_o her_o maid_n and_o a_o hire_a washerwoman_n be_v all_o little_a enough_o to_o dispatch_v they_o on_o the_o eve_n therefore_o betimes_o in_o the_o morning_n they_o ●ell_o to_o work_v and_o at_o breakfast_n here_o say_v the_o mistress_n to_o her_o maid_n fetch_v a_o quart_n of_o ale_n why_o mistress_n if_o you_o please_v say_v the_o washerwoman_n i_o will_v join_v my_o penny_n and_o we_o may_v have_v three_o pint_n and_o i_o will_v join_v i_o too_o if_o you_o please_v say_v the_o maid_n and_o we_o will_v have_v two_o quart_n well_o then_o say_v the_o mistress_n bring_v three_o quart_n we_o shall_v work_v the_o better_a so_o there_o be_v my_o groat_n then_o fall_v these_o three_o jolly_a washerwoman_n to_o toss_v it_o and_o tipple_v it_o so_o long_o till_o it_o lay_v raw_a upon_o their_o stomach_n forsooth_o and_o than_o it_o come_v in_o the_o maid_n head_n that_o a_o little_a brandy_n will_v do_v very_o well_o to_o take_v away_o that_o rawness_n and_o therefore_o offer_v her_o penny_n towards_o it_o the_o hire_a woman_n be_v right_a and_o offer_v she_o and_o here_o be_v my_o two_o penny_n say_v the_o mistress_n oh_o say_v the_o maid_n here_o be_v a_o penny_n too_o much_o what_o shall_v we_o do_v why_o you_o and_o i_o say_v the_o washerman_n will_v put_v our_o penny_n a_o pitt●_n more_o and_o we_o may_v have_v half_a a_o pint_n this_o they_o fall_v to_o the_o brandy_n and_o at_o last_o true_o the_o mistress_n find_v herself_o very_o sleepy_a and_o will_v needs_o go_v lie_n on_o the_o bed_n to_o take_v a_o little_a nap_n to_o refresh_v herself_o the_o maid_n something_o drowsy_a follow_v after_o and_o the_o poor_a woman_n in_o the_o kitchen_n take_v the_o advantage_n stretch_v herself_o out_o by_o the_o fire_n thus_o they_o lay_v fast_o till_o next_o morning_n when_o the_o maid_n awake_v rose_n and_o find_v the_o woman_n sleep_v in_o the_o kitchen_n and_o the_o fire_n out_o then_o run_v to_o her_o neighbour_n to_o light_v some_o charcoal_n to_o kindle_v the_o fire_n lest_o her_o mistress_n shall_v be_v angry_a she_o find_v there_o the_o roast_n beef_n on_o the_o spit_v and_o great_a preparation_n for_o something_o extraordinary_a so_o she_o ask_v the_o maid_n who_o dine_v with_o they_o that_o day_n that_o they_o make_v such_o great_a provision_n why_o say_v she_o it_o be_v christmass-day_n the_o maid_n astonish_v run_v to_o acquaint_v her_o mistress_n yet_o can_v scarce_o persuade_v she_o of_o the_o truth_n till_o the_o bell_n tole_v to_o church_n and_o take_v away_o their_o doubt_v 192._o at_o a_o feast_n where_o many_o citizen_n and_o their_o wife_n be_v meet_v the_o chief_a of_o their_o discourse_n be_v about_o cuckold_n one_o ask_v the_o reason_n why_o the_o man_n wear_v the_o horn_n when_o the_o woman_n only_o be_v in_o fault_n that_o be_v say_v another_o because_o the_o man_n be_v the_o head_n and_o where_o will_v you_o have_v the_o horn_n grow_v else_o 193._o a_o country_n schoolmaster_n read_z inga_fw-mi lesson_n to_o his_o boy_n concern_v the_o virtue_n in_o moral_a philosophy_n give_v they_o this_o general_a rule_n to_o know_v virtue_n from_o vice_n that_o virtue_n consist_v in_o the_o middle_n and_o vice_n be_v extreme_n the_o next_o day_n when_o he_o examine_v he_o bid_v one_o of_o his_o scholar_n give_v a_o example_n and_o the_o boy_n instance_a in_o virginity_n why_o sirrah_n say_v he_o who_o tell_v you_o virginity_n be_v a_o virtue_n you_o do_v sir_n you_o say_v that_o all_o virtue_n consist_v in_o the_o middle_n and_o so_o do_v virginity_n 194._o a_o conceit_a person_n will_v fain_o know_v of_o his_o friend_n what_o other_o think_v of_o he_o why_o reply_v he_o you_o appear_v to_o the_o wise_a foolish_a to_o fool_n wise_a what_o think_v you_o of_o yourself_o 195._o a_o gentleman_n that_o have_v many_o child_n be_v say_v one_o day_n to_o his_o friend_n that_o his_o wife_n be_v more_o fertile_a than_o his_o land_n that_o may_v well_o be_v say_v he_o for_o if_o you_o be_v a_o weary_a or_o will_v take_v pain_n to_o make_v she_o so_o other_o will_n 196._o when_o one_o talk_v of_o sir_n francis_n drake_n good_a success_n relate_v how_o often_o he_o come_v home_o in_o safety_n from_o several_a long_a voyage_n true_o it_o be_v strange_a say_v another_o in_o all_o that_o time_n he_o never_o be_v duck_v 197._o one_o follow_v his_o
the_o beginning_n 219._o one_o relate_v in_o a_o coffee-house_n how_o he_o have_v see_v in_o turkey_n a_o hall_n thirty_o mile_n ●ong_o and_o a_o table_n therein_o six_o and_o thirty_o which_o a_o young_a careless_a gallant_a take_v for_o truth_n relate_v in_o the_o next_o company_n he_o meet_v where_o all_o laugh_v very_o much_o at_o the_o improbability_n that_o a_o table_n can_v be_v long_o than_o the_o place_n where_o it_o stand_v and_o the_o gentleman_n be_v much_o ashamed_a the_o nex●_n time_n therefore_o he_o meet_v the_o person_n of_o who_o he_o hear_v the_o story_n he_o begin_v to_o quarrel_v with_o he_o for_o have_v offer_v to_o impose_v such_o lie_n and_o fable_n as_o that_o be_v concern_v the_o table_n on_o gentleman_n that_o expect_v to_o hear_v nothing_o from_o he_o but_o the_o truth_n why_o what_o untruth_n do_v you_o find_v in_o my_o relation_n say_v he_o what_o reply_v the_o other_o can_v any_o thing_n be_v more_o against_o reason_n than_o that_o a_o table_n shall_v be_v six_o and_o thirty_o mile_n long_o and_o the_o room_n where_o it_o stand_v but_o thirty_o alas_o sir_n reply_v the_o other_o you_o do_v not_o take_v all_o the_o story_n for_o it_o turn_v in_o four_o mile_n at_o each_o end_n 220._o two_o fool_n wash_v their_o foot_n in_o a_o brook_n have_v so_o entangle_v their_o foot_n that_o they_o know_v not_o which_o be_v which_o one_o will_v have_v this_o the_o other_o think_v it_o be_v he_o and_o they_o begin_v to_o quarrel_v but_o a_o passenger_n see_v the_o simple_a contention_n strike_v they_o over_o their_o back_n with_o his_o stick_n and_o fear_v soon_o make_v they_o find_v their_o leg_n 221._o a_o country_n carter_n come_v through_o london_n street_n with_o his_o hobnailed_a shoe_n in_o a_o slippery_a place_n his_o heel_n fly_v up_o and_o a_o apprentice_n stand_v in_o his_o ●hop_n say_v to_o he_o how_o now_o friend_n you_o see_v our_o city_n stone_n be_v very_o proud_a they_o scorn_v that_o a_o bumkin_n shall_v tread_v up●n_v they_o to_o which_o he_o reply_v as_o proud_a as_o they_o be_v i_o make_v they_o kiss_v my_o arse_n 222._o when_o a_o witty_a gentleman_n hear_v how_o a_o certain_a impropriator_n make_v nothing_o to_o devour_v church_n alas_o say_v he_o it_o be_v pity_n so_o bad_a a_o liver_n shall_v have_v so_o good_a a_o stomach_n 223._o a_o clown_n come_v to_o london_n read_v on_o a_o signpost_n here_o be_v horse_n to_o be_v let_v 1661._o cud_o life_n say_v he_o if_o there_o be_v so_o many_o horse_n in_o one_o inn_n how_o many_o be_v there_o in_o all_o the_o city_n 224._o among_o a_o company_n of_o good_a fellow_n one_o think_v to_o impose_v on_o the_o rest_n who_o be_v poor_a seaman_n tell_v very_o sober_o for_o a_o truth_n that_o as_o two_o gentleman_n be_v fight_v one_o lose_v his_o thumb_n in_o the_o fray_n which_o a_o chirurgeon_n pass_v by_o accidental_o take_v up_o and_o put_v in_o his_o pocket_n this_o chirurgeon_n meet_v the_o gentleman_n two_o month_n afterward_o and_o hear_v he_o complain_v for_o the_o loss_n of_o his_o thumb_n tell_v he_o for_o so_o much_o money_n he_o will_v set_v it_o on_o as_o fast_o as_o ever_o and_o do_v it_o so_o perfect_o that_o no_o one_o can_v tell_v that_o ever_o it_o have_v be_v cut_v off_o and_o i_o doubt_v not_o say_v he_o but_o if_o the_o man_n be_v live_v i_o will_v have_v his_o hand_n to_o show_v for_o it_o one_o of_o the_o seaman_n who_o have_v listen_v all_o the_o while_n and_o be_v too_o understanding_n to_o be_v impose_v upon_o so_o gross_o say_v i_o have_v a_o thing_n happen_v to_o i_o once_o in_o my_o travel_n much_o like_a to_o this_o which_o be_v travel_v into_o the_o country_n of_o the_o cannibal_n with_o a_o friend_n of_o i_o i_o chance_v to_o lose_v he_o one_o day_n and_o run_v to_o and_o fro_o to_o seek_v he_o i_o see_v at_o last_o a_o company_n of_o cannibal_n feed_v on_o he_o this_o misfortune_n make_v i_o very_o pensive_a but_o consider_v no_o time_n be_v to_o be_v delay_v i_o go_v privy_o and_o sprinkle_v a_o powder_n that_o i_o have_v into_o their_o drink_n and_o they_o have_v no_o soon_o drink_v it_o but_o they_o present_o be_v drink_v and_o disgorge_v their_o stomach_n of_o what_o they_o have_v eat_v and_o fall_v asleep_o then_o see_v myself_o pretty_a secure_a s●_n have_v time_n to_o gather_v up_o the_o miserable_a morsel_n of_o my_o friend_n then_o place_v they_o together_o i_o pour_v some_o of_o the_o same_o powder_n on_o they_o and_o restore_v he_o to_o life_n and_o his_o perfect_a shape_n and_o if_o he_o be_v yet_o alive_a he_o himself_o will_v witness_v what_o i_o have_v tell_v you_o '_o ti●_n very_o strange_a and_o improbable_a quoth_v the_o other_o that_o after_o your_o friend_n be_v not_o only_o dead_a but_o part_n of_o he_o swallow_v down_o and_o then_o vomit_v up_o again_o that_o those_o part_n 〈◊〉_d chew_v and_o half_o digest_v shall_v stick_v together_o and_o become_v the_o same_o man_n oh_o sir_n say_v the_o seaman_n you_o may_v easy_o imagine_v that_o if_o you_o do_v but_o remember_v the_o thumb_n the_o thumb_n 225._o two_o person_n quarrel_v together_o one_o strike_v the_o other_o but_o company_n come_v between_o hinder_v the_o fray_n at_o that_o time_n nevertheless_o he_o that_o receive_v the_o blow_n threaten_v the_o other_o that_o he_o shall_v never_o escape_v so_o and_o according_a to_o his_o word_n the_o next_o time_n he_o have_v opportunity_n which_o be_v a_o day_n or_o two_o after_o he_o hit_v he_o over_o the_o mouth_n the_o other_o in_o cool_a blood_n and_o ●ot_n willing_a to_o quarrel_n be_v willing_a to_o pass_v 〈◊〉_d away_o with_o a_o jest_n what_o say_v he_o cannot_v one_o touch_v you_o but_o you_o must_v hit_v one_o in_o the_o ●eth_v of_o it_o 226._o a_o little_a boy_n sit_v with_o his_o grandmother_n by_o the_o fire_n in_o the_o winter_n time_n when_o ●e_n lift_v up_o her_o coat_n to_o warm_v her_o knee_n spy_v something_o between_o her_o leg_n and_o ●ould_v fain_o know_v what_o it_o be_v it_o be_v say_v he_o a_o rabbit_n skin_n that_o your_o mother_n ●rought_v i_o from_o market_n what_o and_o ●ve_v you_o burn_v a_o hole_n in_o it_o granny_n say_v ●e_z 227._o some_o woman_n talk_v of_o cuckold_n one_o be_v so_o simple_a as_o to_o ask_v where_o their_o horn_n ●ew_a another_o see_v her_o ignorance_n say_v ●n_o the_o nape_n of_o the_o neck_n true_o i_o think_v so_o ●aid_v she_o my_o husband_n wear_v out_o his_o band_n 〈◊〉_d much_o behind_o 228._o the_o good_a man_n be_v out_o of_o town_n be_v neighbour_n bring_v home_o a_o pair_n of_o pan●iers_n he_o have_v borrow_v and_o lay_v with_o his_o wife_n in_o thanks_o but_o he_o come_v home_o unexpected_o that_o night_n disturb_v their_o kind_a embrace_n and_o force_v his_o wife_n for_o ●aste_n to_o hide_v her_o friend_n in_o one_o of_o the_o pannier_n as_o it_o be_v make_v fast_o to_o a_o cross-beam_a in_o the_o room_n the_o good_a man_n be_v little_a in_o drink_n as_o soon_o as_o he_o come_v in_o he_o will_v have_v a_o candle_n his_o wife_n fear_v this_o will_v discover_v her_o friend_n be_v ver●_n much_o against_o it_o but_o force_v by_o the_o threa●_n of_o her_o husband_n at_o last_o she_o light_v one_o and_o desire_v he_o with_o kind_a speech_n an●_n embrace_v to_o make_v haste_n to_o bed_n this_o kindness_n so_o inflame_v her_o husband_n that_o 〈◊〉_d will_v fain_o be_v at_o she_o even_o before_o he_o w●_n undress_v and_o when_o at_o last_o she_o have_v help_v he_o to_o bed_n with_o great_a diligence_n th●_n her_o neighbour_n may_v not_o be_v see_v whe●_n he_o be_v sit_v with_o one_o leg_n in_o one_o pannier_n the_o other_o in_o the_o other_o cross_z the_o beam●_n her_o husband_n say_v sweetheart_n i_o hau●_n be_v marry_v to_o thou_o these_o two_o year_n an●_n yet_o never_o see_v what_o i_o have_v to_o do_v with_o no●_n i_o be_o resolve_v to_o view_v what_o hitherto_o i_o only_o feel_v so_o as_o he_o be_v look_v on_o it_o earnest_o with_o the_o candle_n and_o view_v it_o well_o the_o fellow_n on_o the_o beam_n that_o have_v neve●_n see_v one_o before_o lean_v and_o lean_v still_o far_o and_o far_o to_o get_v a_o sight_n of_o it_o till_o at_o last_o he_o fall_v down_o pannier_n and_o al●_n the_o good_a man_n much_o affright_v cry_v aloud_o who_o be_v there_o to_o which_o the_o other_o reply_v it_o be_v i_o neighbour_n be_o come_v t●_n bring_v you_o home_o your_o pannier_n a_o pox_n on_o ●ou_o say_v he_o again_o you_o need_v not_o have_v bring_v ●hem_n home_o in_o such_o haste_n 229._o one_o citizen_n in_o a_o scoff_a manner_n call_v ●is_fw-la neighbour_n nicumpoope_n and_o the_o other_o ●aking_v it_o for_o some_o very_a shameful_a and_o opprobrious_a
for_o lie_v honest_a but_o for_o steal_v fall_v sudden_o very_o sick_a and_o when_o his_o friend_n begin_v to_o despair_v of_o his_o recovery_n and_o that_o he_o think_v himself_o he_o shall_v die_v his_o conscience_n begin_v to_o prick_v he_o and_o to_o bring_v into_o his_o imagination_n all_o his_o former_a sin_n then_o do_v he_o think_v he_o see_v before_o he_o all_o the_o fiend_n of_o hell_n display_v sundry_a colour_n of_o those_o silk_n he_o have_v at_o several_a time_n steal_v this_o so_o terrify_v he_o that_o after_o he_o grow_v well_o he_o buy_v he_o a_o bible_n go_v to_o church_n and_o show_v great_a reformation_n nay_o the_o very_a meat_n that_o be_v to_o be_v eat_v on_o sunday_n he_o will_v have_v dress_v on_o saturday_n also_o lest_o the_o custom_n and_o frequent_a use_n he_o have_v of_o steal_v shall_v at_o any_o time_n make_v he_o forget_v his_o zeal_n he_o give_v his_o journeyman_n a_o special_a charge_n to_o put_v the_o apparition_n in_o his_o mind_n when_o ever_o he_o see_v he_o steal_v any_o thing_n not_o long_o af●er_v when_o a_o doctor_n of_o physic_n send_v he_o some_o velvet_n to_o make_v he_o a_o goat_n and_o he_o well_o know_v how_o much_o will_v serve_v snip_n off_o half_a a_o yard_n but_o his_o man_n espy_v it_o say_v o_o master_n master_n remember_v the_o vision_n yes_o yes_o say_v he_o i_o do_v remember_v the_o vision_n but_o there_o be_v not_o one_o piece_n of_o such_o silk_n in_o any_o part_n of_o it_o 246._o a_o gentleman_n that_o take_v great_a delight_n in_o hunt_v come_v hasty_o one_o day_n into_o his_o friend_n chamber_n as_o he_o be_v employ_v about_o some_o other_o business_n ask_v he_o if_o he_o will_v go_v find_v a_o hare_n pish_o say_v the_o other_o let_v i_o alone_o let_v they_o go_v find_v hare_n that_o have_v lose_v they_o 247._o one_o send_v a_o pair_n of_o glove_n to_o his_o lady_n for_o a_o new-year_n gift_n write_v on_o the_o paper_n these_o two_o witty_a verse_n if_o that_o from_o glove_n you_o take_v the_o letter_n g_o then_z glove_n be_v love_n and_o that_o i_o send_v to_o thou_o 248._o a_o witty_a fellow_n in_o a_o company_n when_o the_o whole_a discourse_n be_v of_o the_o female_a sex_n say_v that_o woman_n be_v bear_v in_o wiltshire_n bring_v up_o in_o cumberland_n lead_v their_o life_n in_o bedfordshire_n bring_v their_o husband_n to_o buckinghamshire_n and_o die_v in_o shrewsbury_n 249._o when_o mr._n kitchen_n a_o great_a brazier_n in_o london_n die_v cud_o life_n say_v one_o will_v death_n have_v his_o kitchen_n un●_n ground_n 250._o a_o welshman_n lie_v in_o a_o alehouse_n h●d_n run_v up_o a_o great_a deal_n for_o cheese_n his_o hostess_n therefore_o demand_v a_o shilling_n how_o the_o devil_n cud_o splutter_v an●_n nail_n can_v that_o be_v say_v he_o why_o look_v here_o say_v she_o point_v to_o the_o score_n behind_o the_o door_n ah_o thae'_v brave_a indeed_o say_v he_o what_o do_v she_o think_v she_o do_v not_o know_v chalk_n from_o cheese_n 251._o another_o as_o he_o travel_v on_o the_o road_n and_o come_v to_o his_o inn_n he_o find_v nothing_o else_o ready_a but_o plaice_n so_o he_o will_v have_v two_o and_o the_o host_n dress_v they_o and_o send_v they_o up_o then_o have_v eat_v all_o on_o the_o black_a side_n he_o find_v himself_o not_o satisfy_v and_o call_v for_o two_o more_o the_o man_n see_v his_o simplicity_n take_v away_o the_o dish_n turn_v the_o plaice_n and_o serve_v they_o up_o with_o a_o little_a new_a butter_n cud_o life_n say_v our_o taffy_n have_v he_o black_a plaice_n and_o white_a plaice_n too_o 252._o a_o baron_n and_o a_o knight_n walk_v together_o on_o a_o green_a a_o crow_n light_v on_o a_o rail_n by_o they_o make_v a_o great_a noise_n i_o believe_v say_v the_o baron_n sir_n knight_n this_o bird_n salute_v you_o nay_o rather_o say_v the_o knight_n it_o be_v to_o some_o lord_n he_o make_v such_o low_a obeisance_n 253._o one_o meeting_n bonner_n that_o have_v be_v once_o bishop_n of_o london_n say_v good_a morrow_n bishop_n quondam_a whereupon_o he_o reply_v present_o adieu_n knave_n semper_fw-la 254._o hugh_n peter_n preach_v of_o faith_n and_o hope_n after_o a_o long_a and_o tedious_a discourse_n forget_v charity_n for_o he_o call_v out_o to_o a_o woman_n that_o be_v talk_v with_o her_o neighbour_n to_o leave_v babble_v beshrew_v thy_o heart_n say_v she_o who_o babble_n most_o thou_o or_o i_o 255._o the_o same_o man_n have_v new_o hop_v from_o the_o stall_n to_o the_o pulpit_n instead_o of_o the_o priest_n offer_v up_o a_o pair_n of_o dove_n for_o a_o peace_n offer_v read_z he_o offer_v up_o a_o pair_n of_o glove_n and_o a_o piece_n of_o fringe_n 256._o it_o be_v say_v also_o of_o another_o of_o those_o fine_a preacher_n in_o his_o day_n that_o he_o think_v himself_o very_o learned_a and_o a_o good_a divine_a when_o he_o say_v thus_o in_o his_o sermon_n paradise_n be_v become_v a_o pair_n of_o dice_n and_o all_o house_n turn_v alehouse_n but_o it_o be_v not_o so_o in_o the_o day_n of_o noah_n ah_o no._n another_o time_n he_o take_v this_o for_o his_o text_n my_o bed_n be_v green_a only_o to_o show_v this_o fancy_n typical_a my_o topical_a bed_n and_o tropical_a green_a so_o belove_v you_o see_v how_o it_o stand_v typical_a my_o topical_a bed_n tropical_a green_a typical_a topical_a tropical_a my_o bed_n be_v green_a 257._o when_o tom_n holland_n quarter_a in_o fleetstreet_n have_v raise_v his_o landlady_n maid_n belly_n who_o name_n be_v nell_n cotton_n it_o be_v witty_o say_v by_o a_o ingenious_a person_n that_o he_o give_v she_o a_o yard_n of_o holland_n she_o give_v he_o a_o ell_n of_o cotton_n and_o what_o harm_n be_v there_o in_o all_o that_o 258._o some_o boon_n companion_n be_v merry_a at_o a_o tavern_n every_o one_o begin_v to_o commend_v one_o sort_n of_o wine_n or_o other_o one_o especial_o stand_v up_o for_o sack_n that_o it_o be_v a_o good_a cordial_n and_o will_v make_v one_o fat_a nay_o rather_o say_v another_o it_o will_v make_v one_o lean_a how_o so_o upon_o a_o staff_n 259._o a_o gentleman_n meet_v his_o friend_n who_o have_v a_o very_a pretty_a lackey_n ask_v he_o where_o he_o be_v alas_o sir_n say_v he_o death_n have_v send_v he_o on_o a_o errand_n and_o what_o be_v become_v of_o your_o nag_n sir_n you_o come_v up_o on_o why_o he_o be_v founder_v why_o then_o reply_v the_o other_o he_o have_v serve_v you_o right_n to_o make_v you_o go_v on_o foot_n since_o you_o make_v he_o lame_a 260_o one_o bid_v his_o shoemaker_n make_v one_o of_o his_o boot_n big_a than_o the_o other_o and_o when_o he_o bring_v they_o home_o a_o pox_n on_o you_o for_o a_o rogue_n say_v he_o i_o bid_v you_o make_v one_o big_a and_o you_o have_v make_v one_o less_o 261._o the_o same_o bull-speek_a talk_n of_o london_n say_v that_o true_o the_o city_n be_v a_o gallant_a place_n but_o the_o air_n be_v very_o foggy_a and_o agree_v not_o with_o he_o and_o he_o do_v real_o think_v that_o have_v he_o live_v there_o till_o this_o time_n that_o he_o have_v die_v seven_o year_n ago_o 262._o a_o discreet_a gentleman_n be_v ask_v why_o he_o will_v not_o go_v when_o his_o friend_n desire_v he_o to_o have_v a_o man_n that_o can_v counterfeit_v the_o nightingale_n exact_o because_o say_v he_o i_o have_v hear_v she_o when_o she_o sing_v herself_o 263._o a_o welshman_n travel_v with_o a_o charge_n of_o money_n behind_o he_o in_o his_o cloak-bag_n be_v meet_v by_o a_o thief_n who_o bid_v he_o to_o deliver_v his_o money_n immediate_o or_o else_o he_o will_v make_v that_o pistol_n draw_v one_o out_o of_o its_o case_n to_o bounce_v through_o he_o what_o say_v the_o welshman_n must_v that_o pistol_n pounch_v through_o she_o her_o have_v better_o give_v her_o money_n that_o be_v her_o master_n and_o spare_v her_o life_n that_o be_v she_o own_o so_o the_o thief_n without_o any_o resistance_n take_v his_o cloak-bag_n but_o pray_v sir_n say_v the_o welshman_n since_o her_o have_v her_o money_n let_v she_o hear_v one_o pounce_n for_o it_o for_o she_o never_o hear_v the_o pounce_n of_o a_o cun._n the_o thief_n ro_o satisfy_v he_o discharged_z his_o pistol_z which_o echo_v in_o many_o place_n cud_o splutter_v and_o nail_n say_v the_o welshman_n it_o be_v a_o gallant_a pounce_n and_o there_o be_v many_o little_a pounce_n too_o pray_v let_v she_o have_v one_o more_o pounce_n for_o it_o be_v a_o gallant_a thing_n so_o the_o thief_n let_v off_o his_o other_o pistol_n at_o which_o the_o welshman_n seem_v more_o please_v than_o before_o and_o ask_v if_o he_o have_v no_o more_o pounce_n no_o say_v the_o thief_n i_o have_v not_o one_o more_o then_o reply_v the_o welshman_n that_o have_v long_o enough_o plead_v