Satyrical But Mistris what prayer made you for me Bon' Esprit Not a cursing prayer for though Mother Matron would have carried me up to the top of the Hill of Rage and instead of a prayer for you there to have made curses against you yet she could neither force me up the one nor perswade me to the other for I told her I would give a blessing instead of a curse and for fear of that she left persisting Satyrical I perceive I had been in danger had not you sav'd me and like a merciful Godess kept me from their fury but I 'm afraid that for my sake they will curse you now Bon' Esprit No doubt of it but the best of 't is that their cursing prayers or prayers of curses go no farther than their lips Satyrical For all their furious rage self-conceit perswades me that if I had addrest my self as a Suter to any one of them they would have been more merciful than to have deny'd my sute Bon' Esprit I can think no otherwise for I shall judge them by my self Satyrical Pray let 's go and invite them to our Wedding Bon' Esprit By no means for they will take that as ill as if you did indid invite them to a poyson'd Banquet But if I may advise it is not to tell them our Design but let them find it out themselves Satyrical I shall agree to your Counsel Exeunt Scene 14. Enter Mother Matron and her Maid Matron Come come I have watch'd and long'd for your Return above two hours I may say above two years for so the time did seem to me O Venus thou Fair and Amorous Godess send me a comfortable Answer if 't be thy will Maid I have brought you a Letter from Monsieur Frisk but for my part I know not what comfort he hath sent you Matron O Cupid O Cupid be my friend She opens the Letter and reads it aloud The Letter Amorous Mother Matron THough Time hath made you sit for Heaven having worn out your body a substance for Love to work upon converting or translating it all into Soul an incorporeal shadow which none but the Gods can imploy to any use yet since you Esteem and Love me as a God to resign up that incorporality I can do no less than return you thanks although I never did merit such a gift But my sins I confess are many and deserve great punishments yet I hope the Gods will be more merciful than to leave me void of reason or to suffer Nature to make me to have extravagant appetites or Heaven to leave me to extravagant appetites but howsoever as occasions fall out I shall shew reverence to your Motherly Gravitie and in the mean time rest Your Admirer FRISK Matron I know not by this Letter whether he will be my Lover or not yet I will kiss it for his sake She kisses the Letter O sweet Letter thou happy Paper that hast receiv'd the pressure of this hand What did he say when he gave you this letter to bring me Maid He talk'd of Pluto and of Hell Matron How of Hell Maid Yes but it was concerning AEneas and Dido Mother Matron fetches a great sigh Matron I hope he will not make me such an Example as Queen Dido nor himself so false a Lover as AEneas but if he should I will cry out O thou my cruel AEneas hast slain me Exeunt Scene 15. Enter Superbe Portrait Faction and Pleasure FAction Now I have seen Madamoiselle la Belle I perceive Fame gives more praise than Nature Beauty Superbe To some she doth Portrait Nay faith for the most part to all Enter Monsieur Sensuality Sensuality O Ladies there is the greatest loss befallen me that ever befell man Portrait What loss Sensuality Why Madamoiselle la Belle is gone Pleasure How gone Is she maried or dead Sensuality Faith she 's as bad as dead to me and worse than if she were maried for if she were a Wife there would be some hopes but her careful Father hath carry'd her away into the Country being jealous of the much company that came to visit her Faction It seems he knew she was apt to be catch'd that he durst not trust her But how came you to receive a greater loss than the rest of the Masculine Visiters Sensuality Because I had greater hopes than I perceive the rest had Portrait Why had you a design to get her for a Wife Sensuality No faith mine was a better design which was to get her for a Mistris Superbe But it was likely she would never have been your Mistris Sensuality It was likely she would have been my Mistris for she was fair and foolish kind and toyish and had an inviting Eye Pleasure Why you may follow her into the Country Sensuality No the City is so well stored as I shall not need to put my self to that trouble as to journey after her Exeunt Scene 16. Enter Mother Matron alone Matron O Love thou tormenter of soft hearts or a melter of hard ones soften the hard heart of Monsieur Frisk and ease my soft and tender heart inflame his spirits to love and refresh mine with his kindness O Venus perswade thy Son in my behalf and consider me by thy self Ha ho Exit Scene 17. Enter Temparance Faction Portrait Pleasure Ambition and Superbe TEmperance I would never have an extraordinary Beauty seen but once and that should be in a publick Assembly Pleasure It is a sign Temperance your beauty is past for would you have an extraordinary Beauty to be buried in oblivion Temperance No for I would have all the World see if it could be shewn to the whole World but I would have it shewn but once and no more Superbe Why so Temperance Because what is common is never highly priz'd but rather despis'd or at least neglected by continuance for that which is at first admir'd as a wonder when it comes to be as domestick is not regarded for it is an old saying That the greatest wonder lasts but nine days Portrait But there is such a sympathy betwixt beauty and sight that as long as beauty doth last sight will take delight to look thereon and the Design End or Fruition of Beauty is to be gaz'd upon for from the sight it receives Praise Love and Desire and by reflection sets all hearts on fire Faction O that I had such a Beauty as would burn every Masculine heart into cinders Temperance Why are you so cruel Lady to wish such a wish to the Masculine Sex Faction My wish proceeds out of love to my self and mercy to men First out of love to my self for as I am a woman I naturally desire Beauty and there is no woman that had not rather have beauty although attended with an unfortunate life than be ill-savour'd to enjoy prosperity The last wish is out of mercy to men for their hearts are so false and foul as no way but burning can purifie them Ambition That were
draw him to Love and to be in love as a Lover and I have discharged your trust and have brought your designs to pass Faction But our designs were not that he should be beloved of you but hated of all our Sex Bon' Esprit Why then you did spread your designs beyond your reach for do you think you have the power of Fate to rule govern and dispose of the passions of Mankind as you please when alas you are so powerless as you cannot rule govern and dispose of your own passions and so ignorant that you know not your own destinies nor how nor to what your passions will lead you to Besides you injoyn'd not my passions you did not forbid me to love him but only imploy'd my Wit to make him a Lover and so I have Portrait And you have prov'd your self a Fool in becoming a Lover Bon' Esprit Losers may have leave to speak any thing and therefore I will not quarrel with you Superbe We are not losers by the loss of you Faction But we are for with the loss of her we have lost our sweet revenge for by her we thought to have catch'd him like a Woodcock in a Net and then to have cut off his wings of Fancy and to have pull'd out his feathers of Pride or else to have intic'd him like a fool with a rattle and then to have toss'd him on Satyrical Tongues as in a blanket of shame But now instead of a blanket of shame he will lie in the Arms of Beauty and instead of being toss'd with satyrical tongues he will be flatter'd with kisses for which we may curse the Fates Pleasure But it is strange to me that she can love such a railing ill-natur'd man as Monsieur Satyrical Ambition I wonder she doth not blush at her choise Are you not out of countenance to be in love with such a man that is the worst of men Portrait Confess do not you repent Bon' Esprit So far am I from repenting as I love him so well as he seems to me to be such a person as to be so much above the rest of Mankind as he ought to be ador'd worship'd kneel'd down and pray'd to as to a Deity and the beginning of those prayers offer'd to him should be O thou worthyest meritoriousest and hest of men Faction She 's mad she 's stark mad wherefore let us binde her with chains and whip her with cords to bring her to her wits again Enter Monsieur Satyrical Bon' Esprit Oh Sir you are a person born to relieve the distressed and comfort the afflicted for you are come in a timely hour to release me from a company of Furies that threaten me Satyrical These Ladies appear too fair to be the daughters of Night who are said to be the Furies But Ladies I hope you will pardon me for taking away so pleasing a companion from you as my Mistris is but by her I shall be made Master of a world of happiness and I shall not only enjoy a world but a Heavenly Paradise wherein all Goodness Virtues Beauties and sweet Graces are planted And what man would not challenge or claim Heaven if Heaven could be gain'd by claiming wherefore I challenge and claim this Lady as being mine to enjoy Faction If you had challeng'd or claim'd any other Lady in my conscience you would have been refused Satyrical I desire no more than what I have Exit Satyrical and his Mistris Bon' Esprit Portrait I could cry with anger Temperance Ladies take my counsel which is to be friends with Madam Bon' Esprit and Monsieur Satyrical otherwise they will laugh at you to see what fools they have made you Pleasure She gives us good advice wherefore let us follow it and be friends Faction I may be seemingly friends but never really friends Temperance Why seeming friendship passes and traffiques as well in the world as those that are real Superbe You say well wherefore let us seem to be friends Exeunt Scene 20. Enter Monsieur Frisk and Mother Matrons Maid Frisk My fair Maid what Message have you brought me now Maid My Mistris remembers her loving love unto you and bids me tell you that she takes it wondrous unkindly that you shew'd the young Ladies the Letter and that she heard you mock'd and jeer'd at her Frisk Tell her I did but as all Lovers use to do vaunt of their Mistris's love and boast of their Mistris's favours Maid She doth not like your boasting but howsoever to shew and express her constant love and affectionate heart she hath sent you two hundred pounds to buy you a Nag Frisk I accept of the Present and tell her I will ride the Nag for her sake Maid My Mistris will be a joy'd Woman to hear that you will ride for her sake Frisk But is thy Mistris rich Maid Yes by my truth is she for she hath store of bags in her Chests Frisk But are they full of gold and silver Maid Yes for I have seen her tell the money in the bags bag after bag Frisk Is it all her own Maid Yes certainly it is all her own Frisk How came she to be so rich Maid Why the young Ladies Parents give her money or moneys worth to Govern and Educate their Daughters and the young Ladies bribe her to keep their counsels and fee her to be their Agent and their Courtly Servants present her with rich gifts to prefer their Sutes and to speak in their behalfs to the young Ladies and thus she gains on every side and takes gifts on both hands and she being miserable and sparing must needs be rich but now she is become a Lover she begins to grow prodigal as all Lovers are but if she had a million she says nay swears she could bestow it all on her beloved which beloved is your Worship Frisk I could be well content to marry her wealth and lie with her Maid but I would not be troubled with the Mistris Maid My Mistris I believe will be a very fond Wife Frisk And that fondness is the second obstacle I stick at for first to be old and then to be fond will be a double misery as being an intolerable trouble and a nauseous vexation for there is nothing more hateful than an amorous fond old woman But if thou wilt be fond of me I shall like it well and if any thing could perswade me to marry thy Mistris next to her wealth will be in hopes of thy kindness What say you will you be kind Maid I shall not be undutiful when you are my Master I shall deny no service I can do your Worship Frisk That 's well promis'd In the mean time remember me to thy Mistris and thank her for her Present and tell her the more such Presents she sends the welcomer they shall be Exeunt Scene 21. Enter Monsieur Sensuality and Madamoiselle Portrait SEnsuality Madamoiselle you may do a charitable Act Portrait As how Sensuality As to
Conver. T is true they did so in former times when the Crown kept up Ceremony and Ceremony the Crown but since that Ceremony is down their grandeur is lost and their splendor put out and no light thereof remains But they are covered with a dark rudenesse wherein the Clown justles the Lord and the Lord gives the way to the Clown the Man takes the wall of his Master and the Master scrapes legs with Cap in hand to the Servant and waits upon him not out of a generous and noble Nature but out of a base servile fear and through fear hath given the Power away Exper. Trav. I am sorry to hear the Nobility is so degenerated Ex. Scene 7. Enter the Lord Courtship and his Friend Master Adviser ADviser I wonder your Lordship should be so troubled at your Fathers commands which was to marry the Lady Ward unlesse she had been ill-favoured and old Lord Courtship O that 's the misery that she is so young For I had rather my Father had commanded me to marry one that had been very old than one that is so young for if she had been very old there might have been some hopes of her death but this young Filly will grow upon me not from me besides those that are young give me no delight their Company is dull Adviser VVhy she is not so very young she is fifteen years of Age Lord Court Give me a Lady to imbrace about the years of twenty rather than fifteen then is her Beauty like a full-blown Rose in Iune her VVit like fruit is ripe and sweet and pleasant to the ear when those of fifteen are like to green sharp Fruit not ripened by the Sun of Time Yet that 's not all that troubles me but I cannot endure to be bound in VVedlocks shackles for I love variety and hate to be ty'd to one Adviser VVhy you may have the more variety by marrying Lord Court No faith 't is a Bar for if I should but kisse my wives Maid which a thousand to one but I shall my wife if she doth not beat her Maid making a hideous noise with scoldings yet she will pour and cry and feign her self sick or else she would Cuckold me and then I am paid for all Adviser Faith my Lord it is a hundred to one but a man when he is maryed shall be Cuckolded were he as wife as Solomon as valiant as David as fortunate as Caesar as witty as Homer or as handsome as Absalom for Women are of the same Nature as men for not one man amongst a thousand makes a good Husband nor one woman amongst a thousand makes an honest Wife Lord Court No saith you might well have put another Cypher and made it ten thousand Adviser Well my Lord since you must marry pray let me counsel you This Lady Ward being very young you may have her bred to your own Humour Lord Court How is that Adviser VVhy accustome her to your wayes before you marry her let her see your several Courtships to several Mistresses and keep wenches in your house and when she is bred up to the acquaintance of your customes it will be as natural to her Lord Court VVhat to be a whore Adviser No to know your humours and to be contented thereat Lord Court VVell I will take your advice although it is dangerous And as the old saying is the Medicine may prove worse than the disease Adviser VVhy the worst come to the worst it is but parting Lord Court You say true but yet a divorce will not clearly take off the disgrace of a Cuckold Ex. Scene 8. Enter Poor Virtue and old Humanity HUmanity I have found out a service a Farmer which hath the report of an honest labouring man and his wife a good huswifely woman they have onely one daughter about your years a pretty Maid truely she is and seems a modest one but how you will endure such rough and rude work which perchance they will imploy you in I cannot tell I doubt you will tire in it Poor Virtue Do not fear for what I want in strength my industry shall supply Humanity But you must be fitted with cloaths according and proper to your service Poor Virtue That you must help me to Humanity That I will Ex. ACT III Scene 9. Enter Sir Fancy Poet and the Lady Contemplation SIr Fancy Poet Sweet Lady Contemplation although your thoughts be excellent yet there are fine curiosities and sweet pleasures to be enjoyed in the use of the world Contemplation Perchance so but would not you think that man a Fool that hath a great estate a large convenient house well situated in sweet and healthfull Aire pleasant and delightful having all about for the eyes to view Landskips and Prospects beside all the inside richly furnished and the Master plentifully served and much company to passe his time with as a resort of men of all Nations of all Ages of all qualities or degrees and professions of all humours of all breedings of all shapes of all complexions Likewise a recourse for all Wits for all Scholars for all Arts for all Sciences Also Lovers of all sorts Servants of all use and imployments Thus living luxuriously with all rarities and varieties and yet shall go a begging debasing himself with humble crouching inslaving himself to Obligations living upon cold Charity and is denyed often times unkindly or kickt out scornfully when he may be honoured at home and served in state would not you think that this man had an inbred basenesse that had rather serve unworthily than command honourably that had rather be inslaved than free Besides that mind is a fool that cannot entertain it self with it's own thoughts a wandring Vagabond that is never of seldome at home in Contemplation A Prodigal to cast out his thoughts vainly in idle words base to inslave it self to the Body which is full of corruption when it can create bodilesse Creatures like it self in Corporalities with which self Creatures it may nobly honestly freely and delightfully entertain it self VVith which the mind may not only delight it self but improve it self for the thoughts which are the actions of the mind make the soul more healthful and strong by exercises for the mind is the soules body and the thoughts are the actions thereof Fancy Poet After what manner will you form this Body Contempl. Thus Understanding is the Brain Reason the Liver Love is the heart Hate the Spleen Knowledge the Stomach Judgement the Sinews Opinions the Bones VVill the Veins Imaginations the Blood Fancy the Spirits the Thoughts are the Life and Motion or the Motions of the Life the outward Form is the Mind it self which sometimes is like a Beast sometimes like a Man and sometimes like a God Fancy Poet And you my fair Goddesse Ex. Scene 10. Enter the Lord Courtship and the Lady Amorous LAdy Amorous My Lord you are too covetous to take a wife meerly for her riches Lord Courtship Believe me Madam
proud and carry the out-side of a Gentleman will do so La. Ward Certainly Nurse they are but Bastard Gentry or else they are degenerated Nurse Careful An incipid Branch may spring from a sound Root many a withered and rotten Plum may hang on a good Tree La. Ward And do Wives play the Bauds for their Husbands as the Husbands play the Pimps for their Wives Nurse Care Most often for they will make Gossiping meetings on purpose for their Husbands to Court other women for they know when their Husbands minds are fill'd with amorous love they will not muse upon their actions nor examine their wayes besides when as the Husband would take his liberty without disturbance he will wink at the liberty his wife takes and so will be procures for each other and the Ladys acquaintance are Confidents La. Ward Confidents what is that Nurse Nurse Careful Why it is thus two Ladies make friendship or at least call Friends and if any man desires to be a Courtly Servant to one of them he addresses himself to the other and expresses what Passions and Affections he hath for her friend and so makes his complaints and affections known to her whereupon she recommends his addresses and service to her Friend thus doing a friendly Office by carrying and declaring his professions and returning her Friends civil answers appointing places for each others love-meetings the other will do as much for her La. Ward Why this is a Baud Nurse Care O peace Child for if any body heard you say so they would laugh at you for a Fool but 't is a sign you never was a Courtier for I knew a young Lady that went to Court to be a Maid of Honour and there were two young Ladies that were Confidents to each other and a great Prince made love to one of them but adddrest himself to the other as being her Friend this young Maid askt why he did so it was answered she was the Princes Mistresse Confident and just as you ask me what said she is a confident a Baud whereupon the whole Court laught at her and for that only question condemned her to be a very Fool nay a meer Changling La. Ward VVell Nurse say what you will Confident is but a Courtly name for a Baud Ex. Scene 20. Enter Sir Effeminate Lovely and Mall Mean-bred SIR Effeminate Lovely Those wandering Stars that shine like brightest day are fixt on me the Center of your love This following Scene was writ by the Lord Marquess of New-castle Mall Mean-bred O Heavens Sir Effem. Lovely Happy to touch those Lillies in your cheeks mingled with Roses loves perfumed bath Mall Mean-bred They grow forsooth in our Garden Sir Effem. Lovely You are the Garden of all sweets for love your blushing lips of the Vermillion die and those twin cherries give me leave to taste Mall Mean-bred Truly Sir I understand no Latin but I will call our Vicar to you and he shall expound Sir Effem. Lovely No dearest Dear my lovely Dear my dearest Love my lovelyest Dear Mall Mean-bred I never cost you any thing as yet Sir Sir Effem. Lovely Why then no Lady of Arcadie bred Mall Mean-bred Truly Sir this is as our Vicar saith like Hebrew without poynts to be read backwards say any thing forward in Notthingham-shire speak that I may guess at and I will answer your VVorship though truly it is as fine as ever I understood not Effem. Lovely Why then sweet heart I love you and would gladly enjoy you Mall Mean-bred O fie enjoy is a naughty word forsooth if it please you Effem. Lovely It would please me your thoughts of what you mince Mall Mean-bred Thoughts are free forsooth and I love whole joints without mincing Effem. Lovely Why then in plain English I would have your Maiden-head Mall Mean-bred O dear how will you get it can you tell Truely truely I did not think such naughty words would come forth of so fine a Gentlemans mouth Effem. Lovely But tell me truely do you think me fine Mall Mean You will make me blush now and discover all so fine cloaths the Taylor of Norton never made such and so finely made unbottoned and untrust doth so become you but I do hang down my head for shame and those Linnen Boot-hose as if you did long to ride do so become you and your short Coat to hang on your left arm O sweet O sweet and then your Hat hid with so fine a Feather our Peacocks tailes are not like it and then your hair so long so finely curled and powder'd in sweets a sweeter Gentleman I never saw My love 's beyond dissembling so young so fresh so every thing I warrant you O Sir you will ravish me but yet you cannot Effem. Lovely O how you have made me thankfulnesse all over for this your bounty to me wherefore my earthly Paradise let us meet in the next Close there under some sweet Hedge to tast Loves aromatick Banquet at your Table Mall Mean O Sir you blushes I consent farewel do not betray me then you must not tell Farewell my sweetest granting of my sute Shall still inslave me and be ever mute Here ends my Lord Marquesse's Scene Ex. Scene 21. Enter Poor Virtue and Sir Golden Riches following her Golden Riches Stay lovely Maid and receive a Fortune Poor Virtue I am Fortune proof Sir she cannot tempt me Gold Rich. But she may perswade you to reason Poor Virtue That she seldome doth for she is alwayes in extremes and Extremes are out of Reason's Schools That makes all those that follow Fortune Fooles Gol. Rich. What do you Rime my pretty Maid Poor Virtue Yes Rich Sir to end my discourse Golden Riches I will make you Rich if you will receive my gifts Poor Virtue I love not gifts Sir because they often prove bribes to corrupt Gold Rich. Why what do you love then Poor Vir. I love Truth Fidelity Justice Chastity and I love obedience to lawful Authority which rather than I would willingly and knowingly infring I would suffer death Gold Rich. Are you so wilful Poor Vir. No I am so constant Gold Rich. But young Maid you ought not to deny all gifts for there are gifts of pure affection Love-gifts of Charity gifts of Humanity and gifts of Generosity Poor Virtue They are due debts and not gifts For those you call gifts of pure Love are payments to dear deserving friends and those of Charity are payments to Heaven and those of Humanity are payments to Nature and those Generosity are payments to Merit but there are vain-glorious gifts covetous gifts gifts of fear and gifts that serve as Bauds to corrupt foolish young Virgins Gold Rich. Are you so wise to refuse them Poor Vir. I am so virtuous as not to take them Ex. ACT V. Scene 22. Enter the Lady Contemplation and Lady Visitant Visitant What still musing O thou idle creature Contemp. I am not idle for I busie my self with my own fancies Visitant Fancies are like
dust soon raised and suddenly blown away Contemp. No they are as fire-works that sparkling flie about or rather stars set thick upon the brain which gives a twinckling delight unto the mind Visitant Prethee delight thy friends with thy conversation and spend not thy time with dull thoughts Contemp. Pray give me leave to delight my self with my own thoughts since I have no discourse to entertain a hearer Visitant Why your thoughts speak in your mind although your tongue keeps silence Contemp. 'T is true but they disturb not the mind with noise for noise is the greatest enemy the mind hath and as for my part I think the most useless sense that Nature hath made is hearing the truth is that hearing and smelling might well have been spared for those two senses bring no materials into the brain for sound and scent are incorporal Visitant Then put out all the senses Contemp. There is no reason for that for the eyes bring in pictures which serve the mind for patterns to draw new fancies by and to cut or carve out figurative thoughts and the last serves towards the nourishment of the body and touches the life Visitant But wisedome comes through the ear by instruction Contemp. Wisedome comes through the eye by experience for we shall doubt of what we only hear but never doubt of what we see perfectly But the ground of wisedom is Reason and Reason is born with the soul wherefore the ear serves only for reproof and reproof displeases the mind and seldome doth the life any good nay many times it makes it worse for the mind being displeased grows angry and being angry malicious and being malicious revengeful and revenge is war and war is destruction Visitant But if you were deaf you would lose the sweet harmony of musick Contemp. Harmony becomes discord by often repetition and at the best it doth but rock the thoughts asleep whereas the mind takes more pleasure in the harmony of thoughts and the musick of fancy than in any that the senses can bring into it Visitant Prethee let this harmonious musick cease for a time and let us go and visit the Lady Conversation Contemp. It seems a strange humour to me that all mankind in general should have an itching tongue to talk and take more pleasure in the wagging thereof than a beggar in scratching where a louse hath bit Visitant Why every part of the body was made for some use and the tongue to express the sense of the mind Contemp. Pardon me tongues were made for taste not for words for words wa an art which man invented you may as well say the hands were made to shuffle cards or to do juggling tricks when they were made to defend and assist the body or you may as well say the leg were made to cut capers when they were made to carry the body and to move as to goe from place to place for though the hands can shuffle cards or juggle and the legs can cut capers yet they were not made by Nature for that use nor to that purpose but howsoever for the most part the sense and reason of the mind is lost in the number of words for there are millions of words for a single figure of sense and many times a cyphre of nonsense stands instead of a figure of sense Besides there are more spirits spent and flesh wasted with speaking than is got or kept with eating as witness Preachers Pleaders Players and the like who most commonly die with Consumptions and I believe many of our effeminate Sex do hurt the lungs with over-exercising of their tongues not only with licking and tasting of Sweet-meats but with chatting and prating twitling and twatling for I cannot say speaking or discoursing which are significant words placed in a methodical order then march in a regular body upon the ground of Reason where sometimes the colour of Fancy is flying Visitant Now the Flag of your wit is flying is the fittest time to encounter the Lady Conversation and I make no question but you will be Victorious and then you shall be Crowned the Queen of Wit Contempl. I had rather bury my self in a Monument of Thoughts than sit in the Throne of Applause for Talking Exeunt Scene 23. Enter the Lord Title to Poor Virtue who sat under a little hedge bending like a Bower He sits down by her LOrd Title Sweet why sit you so silently here Poor Virtue My speech is buried in my thoughts Lord Title This silent place begets melancholy thoughts Poor Virtue And I love melancholy so well as I would have all as silent without me as my thoughts are within me and I am so well pleased with thoughts as noise begets a grief when it disturbs them Lord Title But most commonly Shepherds and Shepherdesses sit and sing to pass away the time Poor Virtue Misfortunes have untuned my voice and broke the strings of mirth Lord Title Misfortunes what misfortunes art thou capable of Thou hast all thou wert born to Poor Virtue I was born to die and 't is misfortune enough I live since my life can do no good I am but useless here Lord Title You were born to help increase the world Poor Virtue The world needs no increase there are too many creatures already especially mankinde for there are more than can live quietly in the world for I perceive the more populous the more vicious Lord Title 'T is strange you should be so young so fair so witty as you are and yet so melancholy thy poverty cannot make it for thou never knewest the pleasure of riches Poor Virtue Melancholy is the only hopes I do rely upon that though I am poor yet that may make me wise for fools are most commonly merriest because they understand not the follies that dwell therein nor have enough considerations of the unhappiness of man who hath endless desires unprofitable travels hard labours restless hours short pleasures tedious pains little delights blasted joys uncertain lives and decreed deaths and what is mirth good for it cannot save a dying friend nor help a ruined Kingdome nor bring in plenty to a famished Land nor quench out malignant Plagues nor is it a ward to keep misfortunes off though it may triumph on them Lord Title But you a young Maid should do as young Maids do seek out the company of young Men Poor Virtue Young Maids may save themselves that labour for Men will seek out them or else you would not be sitting here with me Lord Title And are you not pleas'd with my company Poor Virtue What pleasure can there be in fears Lord Title Are you afraid of me Poor Virtue Yes truly for the ill example of men corrupts the good principles in women But I fear not the perverting of my Vertue but mens incivilities Lord Title They must be very rudely bred that give you not respect you being so very modest Poor Virtue 'T is not enough to be chastly modest and honest but as
Satyrical alone SAtyrical I am resolv'd yet being a Criminal how to address my Sute I am in doubt To ask pardon for my faults were to make my faults seem greater than they are to excuse them were to make my judgment seem weaker than I think it is to justifie them were to condemn her Well I will neither ask pardon nor make excuse nor yet justifie them but in plain language declare my pure Affections honest Desires and honourable Requests if she believes the first approves the third and consents to the second I hope to be happy if not I must be content for it is a folly to mourn when it brings no remedy Exit Scene 35. Enter Bon' Esprit Portrait Faction Ambition Superbe Mother Matron FAction The Lady Variety now she is a Widow she tricks and dresses up her self in her Mourning and is more fond of the company of men than we that are Maids Bon' Esprit 'T is a sign she knows by Experience that the Masculine Sex are better and more pleasurable company than any of her own Sex which Maids do not know by reason they are for the most part restrain'd Portrait Why should you find fault with Widows when maried Wives indeavour by all the Arts they can to get the company of men and do strive by inticements to allure them to Courtships as much as Widows or Maids to lawful and honest Mariage Ambition One would think that maried women by their neglect and disrespect to their Husbands they loved not the company of men Superbe They may love the company of men though not the company of one man as their Husbands Matron Come come Ladies Maids are always spiteful to Maried Women because they be preferred in Mariage before them and are jealous of Widows for fear that they should get their Servants and Suters from them Faction I should sooner be jealous of a Widow than spightful to a Maried Wife for most Wives are in a condition to be pity'd rather than envy'd but Widows have such a magnetick power as one Widow will draw away the Servants and Suters from a dozen Maids Bon' Esprit Indeed Widows are very prevalent for a poor widow shall have more Suters and better Choice than a rich Maid and an ill-favour'd Widow than a handsome Maid an old Widow than a young Virgin Ambition I wonder at it Faction Why should you wonder at it since they know the humours weaknesses and strengths of men better than Maids do by which they know how to work and draw them to their bent and design Bon' Esprit No that 's not the Cause Faction What 's the Cause then Bon' Esprit Why men think VVidows wiser than Maids as being more known and experienc'd Portrait Indeed they have more knowledge than Maids or else they have very ill luck Ambition VVhy Maids are more desirous to marry VVidowers than Batchelours Superbe VVhat is the reason of that Bon' Esprit I know not except it be the former reason Faction No no it is because it is said that VVidowers love their second wives better than the first Portrait And what their third wife Faction I suppose Love increaseth with the number Ambition But women 't is said love their first husband better than the second Superbe That 's only an excuse to marry a third and so a fourth Husband Bon' Esprit Indeed Death and Hymen are great friends to VVidows and VVidowers for if once a woman buries her husband or a man his wife they never leave marying and burying until they have had five or six husband and wives Faction If it were always so I would I had been maried and had buried my husband O what a Gossipping life should I have had Gossipping at my husbands Funerals and Gossipping at my Maried Nuptials besides the pleasure of being woo'd Bon' Esprit But you would have more trouble and vexation in the time between your Mariage-day and your Husbands Death than pleasure betwixt your Husbands Death and Mariage-day Faction O no for I suppose if Death be a friend he will take away every Husband as soon as that time is past they call Hony-moneth Enter Monsieur Inquisitive Inquisitive Ladies I will tell you News Portrait What News Inquisitive The young Widow the Lady Variety hath the Small Pox Faction That 's no Newes for all sorts of Diseases are too frequent to be News If they were it would be happy for all animal creatures if diseases were strangers Inquisitive But it is News that she should have them Faction It is in respect of a new face or otherwise not for all mankind in these parts of the World have that disease at one time or other if they live to 't Inquisitive Truly I pity her Ambition I hope she is not in such a condition to be pitied for pity is a kin to scorn as near as Cousin-germans for reproach and shame are brother and sister and scorn is the son of reproach and pity is the daughter of shame But although the Small Pox may set marks of deformity they set none of dishonour they only mark the Body not the Soul and that is only to be accounted shame and to be asham'd of as the infirmities of the Soul for which they may be pitied Inquisitive That deserves scorn Ambition Baseness only deserves scorn and not infirmities loss or misfortunes but there is a difference betwixt infirmities losse misfortunes baseness and wickedness Infirmities proceed directly from Nature Losse from Possession Misfortunes from Interpositions Baseness from that creature called Man and Wickedness from Devils The first is caused by the carelesness of Nature the second by the lack of Power the third by the necessity of Fate the fourth by the corruption of Man the last by the perswasion and temptation of the Devil The first second and third are not to be avoided the fourth not to be practised the fifth not to be followed nor fostered The first is to be pitied the second to be grieved for the third to be lamented for the fourth to be scorned and the fifth to be hated and abhorred Thus we may grieve for the loss of her Beauty but not pity her having no natural defect in the Soul which is the Understanding and the Rational part Inquisitive But Sickness is a natural defect Ambition No Sickness is no more a natural defect than Time or Death Life or Growth for they are only Natural Effects but not Natural Defects Exeunt Scene 36. Enter Madamoiselle Pleasure Wanton Surfet Idle Excess her Maids They all weep ALl speak Pray turn us not out of your Service for one fault Pleasure Why you are the ground wherein all Mischief is sown and whereon all Vice grows besides you are the only Bawds for Adultery Wanton No indeed the chief Bawds to Adultery are publick Meetings of all kinds either Divine Customary Triumphant or Recreative Also Bravery whether Ceremonious Gallantry or Magnificency Likewise Beauty Wit Diligence Observance and rich Presents besides Jealousie and
very handsom man well-behav'd and of a ready wit 2 Man 'T is strange it should not be known of what Parentage he is of 1 Man It is not known as yet Exeunt Scene 2. Enter two Men 1 MAn Sir were not you a servant to the Lord of Sage 2 Man Yes Sir 1 Man He was a Wise and a Noble Person 2 Man He was so Heaven rest his Soul 1 Man 'T is said he hath left but one only Child and she a Daughter which Daughter is sole Heir to all his Estate 2 Man She is so 1 Man And it is also reported she will be woo'd in publick or else she 'l never wed 2 Man The Report is true Sir for I am now going to invite all her Friends and acquaintance to whom she desires to publish her resolutions 1 Man Is she resolv'd of it 2 Man She hath vow'd it 1 Man Pray favour me so much as to give me a Character of her 2 Man She is Virtuous Young Beautiful Graceful and hath a supernatural Wit and she hath been bred and brought up to all Virtuosus which adorns her Natural Gifts she lives magnificently yet orders her Estate prudently 1 Man This Lady may be a sample to all her Sex Exeunt Scene 3. Enter two Grave Matrons 1 Matron Mistris Simple is the very'st Fool that ever I tutor'd or instructed 2 Matron Do you mean a fool by imprudence or a fool that speaks improperly 1 Matron I do not know what her imprudence may be but in her words there is no coherence 2 Matron Alas she is young and youth is a Cage of Ignorance and boys and girls are like birds which learn from their tutors and tutoresses artificial tunes which are several Languages Sciences Arts and the like But the truth is of all sorts of Birds the Cocks are more apt to learn than the Hens 1 Matron If she can be taught sense I am much mistaken for she hath not a reasonable capacity to learn 2 Matron Why then she hath a defect in Nature as a Changeling 1 Matron I think so 2 Matron Why should you think so since youths capacity cannot be measured by their Educators for Time is the only measure of the rational capacity And to prove it some boys and girls will be so dull as to seem stupid to Learning and yet in their strength of years may prove very rational understanding and wise men or women besides the Brain is like to the Air 't is sometimes thick with mysty Errours sometimes dark with clouds of Ignorance and sometimes clear with Understanding when as the Sun of Knowledge shines and perchance you heard her speak when her Brain was cloudy and dark 1 Matron So dark as her words could not find the right way to sense 2 Matron Perchance if you hear her speak some other times when her Brain is clear you may hear her speak wisely 1 Matron It is so unlikely she should ever speak wisely as it is near to impossible 2 Matron Indeed unlikely and impossible do some way resemble each other But let me tell you the Brain is like the Face it hath its good days and its bad for Beauty and Wit have not only their times and seasons but their foul and fair days 1 Matron You say true for the choisest Beauties that ever were or are will somtimes look worse than at other times nay so ill they will look sometimes as they might be thought they were not Beauties 2 Matron The like for Wit for certainly the greatest Wit that ever was or is may sometimes be so dull and unactive as it might be thought they were so far from being Wits as they might be judged Fools And certainly the most Eloquent Orators that ever were have spoke at some times less Eloquently than at other times insomuch that at some times although the subject of their Discourse is so full of Matter and Reason as might have oyl'd their Tongues smooth'd their Words and enlighten'd their Fancy yet they will speak as if their Wits had catch'd cold and their Tongues had the numb Palsy on which their words run stumbling out of their mouths as insensible when as at other times although the subject of their discourse be barren or boggy woody or rocky yet their Wit will run a Race without stop or stay and is deck'd and adorn'd with flowry Rhetorick And certainly the wisest men that ever were have given both themselves and others worse counsel sometimes than at other times and certainly the valiantest man that ever was had sometimes more courage than at other times But yet although a valiant man may have more courage at one time than another yet he is at no time a coward nor a wise man a fool 1 Matron But Orators may chance to speak non-sense 2 Matron They may so and many times do 1 Matron Why then may not a Valiant man be at some times a Coward and a Wise man a Fool as well as Orators to speak non-sense 2 Matron Because Valour Judgment and Prudence are created in the Soul and is part of its Essence I do not mean every soul but the souls of Valiant and Wise men for souls differ as much as bodies some are created defective others perfect but words are only created in the mouth and are born through the lips before the soul of sense is enter'd or inbodied therein 1 Matron An Orators tongue is powerful 2 Matron An Orators tongue doth rather play on Passions than compose the Judgment or set notes to the Reason like as a Fidler that can play tunes on musical Instruments but is no Musician to compose and set tunes But there are many men that have eloquent tongues but not witty souls they have the Art of words but not the Spirit of wit Exeunt Scene 4. Enter the Lady Prudence and a company of Ladies and Knights whom she had invited to hear her Resolutions She stands by her self and speaks Lady Prudence Kind Friends and worthy Acquaintance you may think it strange and perchance take it ill I invite you only to a simple Discourse for to declare a vain Vow as you may judge it so to be which Vow I made since my Father the Lord Sage's death The Vow is never to receive a Lovers Address or to answer a Lovers Sute but in a publick Assembly and 't is likely the World will laugh at this as ridiculous or condemn it for pride or scorn it as self-conceit But if they will be pleased to weigh it in Judgements Scales they will find it poysed with a good Intention and make a just weight of Conveniency against unaccustomariness for though it is not usual yet it is very requisite especially to such young women which are Orphans who like small and weak Vessels that are destitute of Guide or Pilot are left on the wide Sea-faring World to ruinous waves and inconstant weather even so young women are to the Appetites of greedy men and their own inconstant and changing Natures and
and quite from my Patience which makes me miserable and Misery is worse than Death for Death is a cessation of pain and Misery a torment of life But if this Report be true I will lay more curses on his head than a long penitential life shall be able to take off Exit Enter the two Maids of Sir John Dotard 1 MAid Lord Briget is so proud since she is preferr'd to be my Masters Laundry-maid as she will touch none but my Masters linnen 2 Maid She is become very fine upon her preferment I am sure it is not five or ten pound wages that will or can maintain her at that rate she goes for she hath had to my knowledge two new pair of shooes within three weeks of each other whereupon I told her that the shooes that she cast by would be very strong and serviceable if they were cobled and her Answer was what did I think she would wear cobled shooes I told her why not now as well as she did for she us'd to send her shooes to be cobled three or four times over and her wastcoat to be patch'd and her petticoats to be new-border'd and her stockings to be heel'd as the rest of us did and I knew of no Lands that had befallen her and therefore she may doe the same still 1 Maid And what said she then 2 Maid She bid me meddle with my own matters and not meddle with her and I dare not offend her for fear I should be turn'd away nay she is so proud as she turns her head aside when Richard the Carter comes to kiss her and she strives to shun his company when once within a short time she would make haste to wash her dishes that she might have time to sit in Richards Lap and there they would sit colling and kissing until the sea-coal-site was burn'd out 2 Maid But now she sits in a better seat Exeunt Scene 8. Enter Mistris Forsaken in mans Apparel naming her self Monsieur Disguise MOnsieur Disguise I cannot believe he will prove so false and perjurious but this Disguise I hope will bring me to discover the Truth And if he be false for his sake may all the Masculine Sex be slaves to the Effeminate Sex not bound by Love but by base servile fear may they long after the power but never get it may women govern the World and when they command the men dare not disobey and be despis'd for their reward may their Jealousies disturb their Rest their Cares increase their Labours may they work like Horses fawn like Dogs and bear like Asses But if he be constant may all the Masculine Sex be bless'd for his sake may all women desire admire and love him may Pleasure imbrace him Health preserve him and Time attend him may he be arm'd with Power crown'd with Peace and all Obedience bow to his command may the sound but of his Name bring joy to all hearts may all be pleas'd for his Birth pray for his Life and fear his Death may good Fortune trace his ways whilst he tides upon the wings of a glorious Fame Exeunt Scene 9. Enter Sir Francis Inconstant as in another Country with his new Mistris INconstant Sweet Mistris you are the Elixar of Beauty all other women are as unrefin'd metal like base coyn New Mistris Whilst I am unmarry'd you 'l flatter me but when I am your Wife you will change your complemental discourse to quarrelling disputes or insulting commands Inconstant O never never your Eye shall direct all my Actions your Commands shall rule my Life and your Pleasures shall be my onely Delight Exeunt Scene 10. Enter Sir James Hearty and his Man HEarty Here take this Note that you may not forget the Guests that are to be invited to my Daughters Wedding The man takes the Note and looks on it Can you read it Man I cannot tell Sir Hearty Let me hear if you can or not Man Imprimis Sir William Lovewell and the Lady Hypocondria his Wife Item Sir Henry Sage and the Lady Chastity his Wife Item Sir Edward Courtly and the Lady Iealousie his Wife and Mistris Iane Single her Sister Item Sir Thomas Cuckold and the Lady Wanton his Wife Item Sir Humphey Disagree and the Lady Disagree his Wife Item Sir Timothy Spendall and the Lady Poverty his Wife Item the Lady Procurer Item Monsieur Amorous Hearty Well read well read As for the Lord Widower I know he will not come for I hear his Lady is newly dead This is the Nature of the World some marry and some die Man Troth Sir of the two Evils I think it is better to die than to marry Hearty I am not of your mind for I had rather have a ruddy plain soft Wench to be my Bed-fellow than pale grim lean numb cold Death But go your way about this Imployment the whilst I will give direction for the Entertainment Exeunt Scene 11. Enter the Lord VVidower and the Lady Sprightly his Eldest Daughter and other small Children and Doll Subtilty all weeping LOrd We have reason to weep for you my Children have lost a good Mother and I a loving Wife and her servants a kind Lady but we cannot alter Heavens Decrees wherefore we must take comfort in what is and not grieve for what cannot be helpt And now Daughter Sprightly you must be as my Wife Friend and Daughter all in one for as your Mother did when she had health govern my Family so must you now she is dead and you must take care of your young Brothers and Sisters and Heaven will reward thee with a good Husband and Children of your own And as for her Maid here who hath taken great pains all the time of your Mothers sickness ought to be rewarded for her care wherefore Daughter let her wait upon you as she did upon your Mother Doll Subtilty I thank your Lordship Exeunt Scene 12. Enter all the Bridal Guests and pass over the Stage as thorough a Room Scene 13. Enter Monsieur Disguise as from the sea MOnsieur Disguise Surely the Fates have conspired against me the winds were so cross just like men sometimes for us and sometimes against us Enter a Skipper Have you found out the Gentlemans lodging Skipper Yes Sir Disguise And was he at home Skipper He hath that which will invite him to stay at home and keep him from wandring abroad for some time Sir Disguise What 's that Skipper A fair Wife Sir for a drunken Serving-man told me that one Sir Francis Inconstant had maried his Masters Daughter and that the Wedding-Feast would continue a Week if not a Fortnight Disguise And was the man drunk that told you so Skipper Yes surely he seem'd so to me Disguise Then perchance he might tell you a lye Skipper He was not so drunk but that he might tell a truth Disguise Prethee Friend do me one favour more and then I will pay thee for thy pains Skipper What you please to command me
Sir Disguise Then inquire for a mans-Tailor to make me some Cloaths for I am not Accoutred fit for a Bridal-House Skipper I shall Sir Exeunt Scene 14. Enter two Maids of Sir John Dotards 1 MAid 'Faith I will go and inquire out a new service for I will never be box'd by my fellow-servant that was although now she is prefer'd to be House-keeper 2 Maid How came the quarrel betwixt you 1 Maid Why now forsooth she is come to Order and to Rectifie she 's not only grown light-finger'd but fine-finger'd as to touch nothing that is not bright-scour'd nor then neither without her gloves and she calld for a candle and a candlestick to carry into my Masters Chamber and I for haste run up with the candle and forgot the candlestick and had left it behind me when I came what said she do you bring a candle without a candlestick Alas said I I have forgot it but hold you the candle said I and I will run and fetch the stick strait and so I put the candle into her hand with that she up with her hand and gave me a box on the ear what said she do you give me a greasie candle to hold I will teach you more manners said she against the next time I being heated at the blow she gave me cold her that she had forgot since the Mouse bit her greasie face when she was asleep taking it for a candles-end or a piece of bacon with that she flew upon me and I at her where in the combat we made such a noise as my Master came forth of his Chamber and parted us and then he bid me get me out of his house but kiss'd her and pray'd her to pacifie her anger and not to distemper her self with a rude wench as I was 2 Maid And what said she then 1 Maid Why she told my Master I was a naughty Baggage a dirty Slur a base Whore and all the ill names she could but I will not suffer this for I will be gone 1 Maid Nay let us stay until we are provided of other Services Exeunt Scene 15. Enter Monsieur Disguise alone MOnsieur Disguise And is he maried O that I could pull out that part of my Brain which imprints his memory for the wrongs he hath done me are so great and heavy as I wish I could unload my Soul and build a Pyramide of Curses that may stand as a mark of his Infamy She studies a little time then speaks I had rather banish my self than live in disgrace in my own Countrey Exit ACT II. Scene 16. Enter the Lord VVidower and Doll Subtilty SUbtilty 'Faith my Lord your Daughter is so jealous of me as she sayes I am always in your Lordships Chamber Lord Why so thou art most commonly although not always Subtilty But yet it is not fit Children should examine their Parents actions and it were an indiscretion in Parents to allow of it Lord She is young she is young Subtilty Wherefore your Lordship should have a care to have her prudently govern'd and if she be too young to govern her self how can she govern so great a Family as your Lordships is Lord O she hath but the name my Steward governs all Subtilty Yes but the Mistris of the House governs the Steward and the Steward gives Orders as an Inferiour Officer delivering the Superiours commands Lord You say true wherefore you that have some more experience should counsel her Subtilty O my Lord 't is not manners for me to give her counsel neither will she take it from me for when I humbly offer her my Advice she checks me and threatens to turn me away Lord Doth she so But I will have her to take counse and to know she is too young to order after her own childish fancy Subtilty Indeed my Lord she wants years which should make her experienc'd Sweet child she is fitter to dress Babies and order a Closet than govern a great Family which is a little Common-wealth Lord Well I will order her otherwise Exeunt Scene 17. Enter the Bride the Bridegroom Sir James Hearty and all the Bridal Guests Then enters a servant to the Bridegroom Sir Francis Inconstant SErvant Sir there is a young Gentleman desires to speak with your Worship Inconstant What manner of man is he Servant A sweet-fac'd young man by my Troth Sir Inconstant Of what Country seems he to be Servant Of your own Countrey Sir Inconstant Direct him in Enter Monsieur Disguise Disguise Sir I was commanded by a young Lady to give you this Letter Sir Francis reads it and in the reading seems very much troubled Inconstant She writes as if she were dying when she writ this letter Disguise She was dying indeed for the last act she did was to give me this letter and the last words she spoke were Pray see this letter safe convey'd and so she dy'd Lady Inconstant What makes you so pale on a sudden Husband Sir Fran. Incon. I am not well and therefore I must goe to my Chamber But pray Sweet-heart stay you here lest my being ill shoald disturb our Guests Lady Inconstant Do you think I can entertain them if you be sick Sir Fran. Incon. I am not so sick as to be nurs'd although not so well as to delight in company for I am rather melancholy than any other way distemper'd Lady Inconst. What makes you melancholy Sir Fran. Incon. Why a dear Friend of mine is dead He sighs a great sigh But Sweet-heart pray excuse me to the company and pray let this Gentleman my noble Friend be well treated Lady Inconst. I shall obey your command Sir Francis goes out Sir Iam. Hearty What is my Son-in-law gone Lady Inconst. Sir he desires you and the rest of the company would excuse him for he hath heard of the death of a Friend which makes him so melancholy as he saith that his dull and indispos'd humour would disturb the mirth of our noble Friends Sir Iam. Hearty 'T is a sign he is young that he is so tender-natur'd and so soft-hearted to mourn and grieve for those that die but when he comes to Age he will only commend his friends that are dead but not grieve for them for Pity wears out as Age increases Lady Inconst. Pray Sir let me intreat you to be one of our Guests Disguise You shall command me Lady Sir Tho. Cuckold Nay since the Gentleman hath brought such Newes as hath banished the Bridegroom from the Company he shall now supply his place Sir Hum. Disagree Soft Sir he may at the Board but not in his Bed Sir Hen. Courtly He looks so modestly as if he would play the part of a Bride rather than a Bridegroom Disguise Lady will you accept of my modest service Lady Inconst. Sir I must not refuse Modesty Exeunt Scene 18. Enter two Maid-servants of Sir John Dotards 1 MAid 'T is no wonder that Briget Greasie is so proud now being maried to my Master he
Daughter Mistriss Odd-Humour Two Fathers of the Church Gentlemen Maid-Servants Men-Servants A Nurse THE RELIGIOUS ACT I. Scene 1. Enter two Maid-Servants Kate and Joan. KAte My Masters Nephew and my Ladyes Daughter are the kindest lovers for so young ones as that ever I knew Ioan. I believe you never knew such young ones for she is not above ten years of age and he but thirteen or fourteen Kate He addresseth himself in that Country manner and pleads his Love-sure with such affectionate respect and she gives Audience with such modest attention as one would think they were older by a douzen years a-piece than they are Ioan. They have been bred together and they have not been acquainted with the Vanityes and Vices of the World which makes love the more pure Kate My Lady desires my Master that he would give consent his Nephew may marry her Daughter Ioan. She hath reason for he is the only Son of his Father my Masters Brother the Lord Dorato who is very rich and is in great favour with the Arch-Prince of the Country Kate Why so is my Ladyes Daughter the only Child of her Parents and she is Heir to her Fathers Estate Ioan. Yes but her Father left so many Debts when he dyed as the Estate will not be so great as it is thought to be Kate But by that time she is of Age the Debts may be paid Ioan. But my Lady hath a great Jointure out of it that will be a hindrance to the payment ôf Debts Kate Well I believe whether they have their friends consent or not they will marry they love so very much each other Ioan. Perchance so and then repent when they come to elder years that they marryed so young Kate Faith that they may do if they were double their Age for few marry that repent not Ioan. Well come away and leave them to repentance Kate Nay stay they are not married yet Exeunt Scene 2. Enter Sir Thomas Gravity and his Lady LAdy Pray Husband give your Nephew leave to marry my Daughter Sir Thomas Gravity Time enough Wife they are young and may stay this seven years and indeed they are so young as it is not fit they should marry besides I have not absolute power to dispose of my Nephew for though my Brother left him to my care and breeding when he went Ambassadour to the Emperour because his Wife was dead and none so fit to leave him with as I yet to marry him without his Fathers Knowledge or Consent will not be taken well nay perchance he may be very angry Lady Come come he will not displease you with his anger for fear he may lose that you have power to give from him which is your Estate which you may leave to him or his Son having no Children of your own wherefore pray Husband grant my request Sir Thomas Gravity Well wife I will consider it Lady Nay if you consider you will find so many excuses as you will deny my request with excuse Sir Thomas Gravity Faith if I do consent to this marriage it will be to be rid of my Nephews and your importunity Lady You may be sure we will never let you be quiet Sir Thomas Gravity I believe you Exeunt Scene 3. Enter MIstriss Odd-Humour and her Maid Nan Mistriss Odd-Humour Nan give me my work and my little armed Chair The Maid goeth out and strait enters with a little low wicker armed Chair she sits in it but is forced to crowd her self into it the Chair being too little for her seat Nan Lord Mistriss you take great pains to crowd into that Chair I wonder you can take delight to sit so uneasily Mistriss Odd-Humour O custome is a second Nature for I using to sit in this Chair from my Childhood I have a Natural Love to it as to an old acquaintance and being accustomed to sit in it it feels easier She works the whilst she sits and speaks than any other seat for use and custome makes all things easy when that we are unaccustomed to is difficult and troublesome but I take so much delight to sit and work or Sing old Ballads in this Chair as I would not part from it for any thing Nan Yes you would part with your little old Chair for a proper young Husband who would set you on his knees Mistriss Odd-Humour By my faith but I would not for I should find more trouble and less case on a young Husbands knees than on my old Chairs Seat Nan But if you should sit in this Chair when you were marryed your Husband must kneel down if he would kiss you Mistriss Odd-Humour Why then this Chair will learn a Husband humble submission and obedience which Husbands never knew but Nan prethee fetch me some of my old Ballads to sing for I am weary of working One calls Nan in another room Nan Mistriss your Mother calls you She strives to get out of the little Chair hitching first on one side and then on the other side wringing her self by degrees out the whilst speaks Mistriss Odd-Humour I had as lieve be whipt as stir Nan You have reason you labour so much and ring your self so hard as whipping would be less pain for your Chair is now sitter for your Head than your Britch Mistriss Odd-Humour Not unless to break my head for a Chair is not a fit rest for the head for then the heels would be upwards and so I might be thought a Light-heeld wench for light things fly or ly upwards Nan Why the head that is the uppermost part of the body is not light Mistriss Odd-Humour Yes when 't is mad or drunk Exeunt Scene 4. Enter the Lord Dorato Ambassador and a Man with Letters LOrd Dorato How doth my Brother and my Son Man Very well my Lord The Lord reads a Letter Lord Dorato How is this my Son marryed to my Brothers Wives Daughter without my Knowledge or Consent to a Girl whose Estate hath more Debts than Lands and who knows how she will prove when she is a woman and my Son to marry a wife before he hath wit to govern a wife to put a clog to his heels to hinder his Travell for Knowledge sure my Brother is mad dotingly mad to be perswaded by a foolish woman his wife for I know it was her insinuating perswasions that made him agree to the marriage O I could curse the time I sent my Son to him and my self for trusting him to educate and govern him who hath bred him to be as foolish as himself O foolish Son and more foolish Brother by how much being older but I will break the marriage-knot asunder or disinherit my Son or marry and get another that may prove more wise and happy to me Do you know of my Sons marriage Man Yes Sir for t is much talk'd of and of the extraordinary love betwixt the young couple Lord Dorato A couple of young Puppyes and their Unckle an old Al 's O the
Gentlemen Doll Pascify Gentlemen would you speak with me Monsieur la Gravity Yes for we desire you will help us to the honour of kissing your Ladyes hands thereon to offer our service Doll Pacify Sir you must excuse me for the Sign of VVidowhood is not as yet hung out Mourning is not on nor the scutcheons are not hung over the Gate but if you please to come two or three dayes hence I may do you some service but now it will be to no purpose to tell my Lady for I am sure she will receive no visits Exeunt FINIS THE ACTORS NAMES The Lord General and many Commanders Monsieur la Gravity Monsieur le Compagnion Monsieur Comerade Doctor Educature Doctor Comfort and divers Gentlemen Messengers Servants Officers and others Lady Victoria and many Heroicks Lady Jantils Lady Passionate Doll Pacify Nell Careless City Wives and others THE SECOND PART OF BELL IN CAMPO ACT I. Scene 1. Enter Doctor Comfort and Doll Pacify DOll Pacify Good Master Priest go comfort my old Lady Doctor Comfort If you will Comfort me I will strive to Comfort her Doll Pacify So we shall prove the Crums of Comfort Doctor Comfort But is my Lady so sad still Doll Pacify Faith to day she hath been better than I have seen her for she was so patient as to give order for Blacks but I commend the young Lady Madam Iantil who bears out the Siege of Sorrow most Couragiously and on my Conscience I believe will beat grief from the fort of her heart and become victorious over her misfortunes Doctor Comfort Youth is a good Souldier in the Warfare of Life and like a valiant Cornet or Ensign keeps the Colours up and the Flag flying in despite of the Enemies and were our Lady as young as Madam Iantil she would grieve less but to lose an old Friend after the loss of a young Beauty is a double nay a trible affliction because there is little or no hopes to get another good Husband for though an old woman may get a Husband yet ten thousand to one but he will prove an Enemy or a Devill Doll Pacify It were better for my Lady if she would marry again that her Husband should prove a Devill than a Mortal Enemy for you can free her from the one though not from the other for at your words the great Devil will avoid or vanish and you can bind the lesser Devils in Chains and whip them with holy Rods untill they rore again Doctor Comfort Nay we are strong enough for the Devil at all times and in all places neither can he deceive us in any shape unless it be in the shape of a young Beauty and then I confess he overcomes us and torments our hearts in the fire of love beyond all expression Doll Pacify If I were a Devil I would be sure to take a most beautifull shape to torment you but my Lady will torment me if I stay any longer here Exeunt Scene 2. Enter two Gentlemen 1 GEnt. Sir you being newly come from the Army pray what news 2 Gent. I suppose you have heard how our Army was forced to fight by the Enemies provocations hearing the Lord General lay sick whereupon the Generals Lady the Lady Victoria caused her Amazonians to march towards the Masculine Army and to entrench some half a mile distance therefrom which when the Masculine Army heard thereof they were very much troubled thereat and sent a command for them to retreat back fearing they might be a disturbance so a destruction unto them by doing some untimely or unnecessary action but the Female Army returned the Masculine Army an Answer that they would not retreat unless they were beaten back which they did believe the Masculine Sex would not having more honour than to fight with the Female Sex but if the men were so base they were resolved to stand upon their own defence but if they would let them alone they would promise them upon the honour of their words not to advance any nearer unto the Masculine Army as long as the Masculine Army could assault their Enemies or defend themselves and in this posture I left them Exeunt Scene 3. Enter the Lady Victoria and her Heroickesses LAdy Victoria Noble Heroickesses I have intelligence that the Army of Reformations begins to flag wherefore now or never is the time to prove the courage of our Sex to get liberty and freedome from the Female Slavery and to make our selves equal with men for shall Men only sit in Honours chair and Women stand as waiters by shall only Men in Triumphant Chariots ride and Women run as Captives by shall only men be Conquerors and women Slaves shall only men live by Fame and women dy in Oblivion no no gallant Heroicks raise your Spirits to a noble pitch to a deaticall height to get an everlasting Renown and infinite praises by honourable but unusual actions for honourable Fame is not got only by contemplating thoughts which lie lasily in the Womb of the Mind and prove Abortive if not brought forth in living deeds but worthy Heroickesses at this time Fortune desires to be the Midwife and if the Gods and Goddesses did not intend to favour our proceedings with a safe deliverance they would not have offered us so fair and fit an opportunity to be the Mothers of glorious Actions and everlasting Fame which if you be so unnatural to strangle in the Birth by fearfull Cowardize may you be blasted with Infamy which is worse than to dye and be forgotten may you be whipt with the torturing tongues of our own Sex we left behind us and may you be scorned and neglected by the Masculine Sex whilst other women are preferred and beloved and may you walk unregarded untill you become a Plague to your selves but if you Arm with Courage and fight valiantly may men bow down and worship you birds taught to sing your praises Kings offer up their Crowns unto you and honour inthrone you in a mighty power May time and destiny attend your will Fame be your scribe to write your actions still And may the Gods each act with praises fill All the women Fear us not fear us not we dare and will follow you wheresoever and to what you dare or will lead us be it through the jawes of Death THE PRAYER Lady Victoria GReat Mars thou God of War grant that our Squadrons may like unbroaken Clouds move with intire Bodyes let Courage be the wind to drive us on and let our thick swell'd Army darken their Sun of hope with black despair let us powre down showers of their blood to quench the firy flames of our revenge And where those showers fall their Deaths as seeds Sown in times memory sprout up our deeds And may our Acts Triumphant gat lands make Which Fame may wear for our Heroicks sake Exeunt Scene 4. Enter Doctor Comfort and Doll Pacify DOctor Comfort Doll how doth our Lady since the burying of my Patron Doll Pacify
as to take the Victory out of your fair hands or so vain-glorious as to attribute it to our selves or so ungratefull as not to acknowledg our lives and liberties from your valours wisdoms and good fortune or so imprudent as to neglect your power or so ill-bred as to pass by you without making our addresses or so foolish as to go about any action without your knowledge or so unmannerly as to do anything without your leave wherefore we entreat you and pray you to believe that we have so much honour in us as to admire your beauties to be attentive to your discourses to dote on your persons to honour your virtues to divulge your sweet graces to praise your behaviours to wait your commands to obey your directions to be proud of your favours and we wear our lives only for your service and believe we are not only taken Captives by your Beauties but that we acknowledge we are bound as your Slaves by your valours wherefore we all pray that you may not misinterpret our affections and care to your persons in believing we sent you away because we were weary of you which if so it had been a sin unpardonable but we sent you away for your safety for Heaven knows your Departure was our Hell and your Absence our Torments but we confess our errours and do humbly beg our pardons for if you had accompanied us in our Battels you had kept us safe for had we fought in your presence our Enemies had never overcome us since we take courage from your Eyes life from your smiles and victory from your good wishes and had become Conquerours by your incouragements and so we might have triumpht in your favours but hereafter your rules shall be our methods by which we will govern all our actions attending only wholy your directions yet give us leave humbly to offer our advise as Subjects to their Princess if you think fit we think it best to follow close the victory lest that our Enemies recruit their forces with a sufficient strength to beat us out of what we have gained or at least to hinder and oppose our entrance and hopes of Conquering them where if you will give us leave we will besiege and enter their Towns and rase their Walls down to the ground which harbour their disorders offending their Neighbours Kingdoms yet we are not so ambitous as to desire to be Commanders but to join our forces to yours and to be your assistants and as your Common Souldiers but leaving all these affairs of War to your discretion offering our selves to your service We kiss your hands and take our leaves for this time All the women fall into a great laughter ha ha ha ha Lady Victoria Noble Heroickesses by your valours and constant and resolute proceedings you have brought your Tyrants to be your Slaves those that Commanded your absence now humbly sue your presence those that thought you a hindrance have felt your assistance the time is well altered since we were sent to retreat back from the Masculine Army and now nothing to be done in that Army without our advise with an humble desire they may join their forces with ours but gallant Heroickesses by this you may perceive we were as ignorant of our selves as men were of us thinking our selves shifdels weak and unprofitable Creatures but by our actions of War we have proved our selves to be every way equal with men for what we want of strength we have supplied by industry and had we not done what we have done we should have lived in ignorance and slavery All the Female Commanders All the knowledge of our selves the honour of renown the freedome from slavery and the submission of men we acknowledge from you for you advised us counselled us instructed us and encouraged us to those actions of War wherefore to you we owe our thanks and to you we give our thanks Lady Victoria What answer will you return to the Masculine Army All the Commanders What answer you will think best Lady Victoria We shall not need to write back an answer for this Messenger may deliver it by word of mouth wherefore Sir pray remember us to your General and his Commanders and tell them that we are willing upon their submissions to be friends and that we have not neglected our good Fortune for we have laid siege to so considerable a Fort which if taken may give an easy passage into the Kingdome which Fort we will deliver to their forces when they come that they may have the honour of taking it for tell them we have got honour enough in the Battel we fought and victory we did win Exeunt Scene 9. Enter Monsieur la Gravity Monsieur Compagnion and Monsieur Comerade MOnsieur Compagnion We are bound to curse you Monsieur Gravity for retarding our visits to the Widows for I told you we should come too late if we did not go before their Husbands were buried Monsieur la Gravity But I do not hear they have made a promise to marry any as yet Monsieur Compagnion That 's all one unto us but the noblest youngest richest and fairest VVidow is gone for though she is not promised or married yet she is incloistered and that is worse than marriage for if she had been married there might have been some hopes her Husband would have died or been kill'd or some wayes or other Death would have found to have taken him away Monsieur Comerade Let us comfort our selves with hopes that it is but a Ladies humour which she will be soon weary of for when her Melancholy fit is over she will come forth of her Cloister and be fonder to marry than if she had never gone in Monsieur la Gravity VVell since she is gone let us assault the other Monsieur Compagnion VVhat the old woman that hath never a Tooth in her head Monsieur Comerade VVhy she is rich and she will kiss the softer for having no Bones in her mouth Monsieur Compagnion The Devill shall kiss her before I will besides an old woman is thought a Witch Monsieur la Gravity Pish that is because they are grown ill-favoured with Age and all young people think whatsoever is ill-favoured belongs to the Devill Monsieur Compagnion An antient man is a comely sight being grave and wise by experience and what he hath lost in his person he hath gained in his understanding besides beauty in men looks as unhandsome as age in women as being effiminate but an old woman looks like the picture of Envy with hollow Eyes fallen Checks lank Sides black pale Complexion and more Wrinkles than time hath Minutes Monsieur Comerade Nay by your favour some old women look like the full Moon with a red swell'd great broad face and their Bodies like as a spungy Cloud thick and gross like our fat Hostess Monsieur la Gravity Gentlemen why do you rail against antient women so much since those that are wise will never marry such Boyes
as you Monsieur Compagnion It is to be observed that alwayes old Girls match themselves with young Boyes Monsieur la Gravity None but Fools will do so Monsieur Compagnion VVhy did you or any man else ever know a wise old woman or a chast young woman in their lives for the one dotes with Age the other is corrupted with Flattery which is a Bawd to self-conceit Monsieur la Gravity Grant it be so yet it is better to marry an old doting Fool than a wanton young Fille Monsieur Compagnion For my part I think now it is the best way to marry none since Madam Iantil is gone but to live like the Lacedemonians all in Common Monsieur la Gravity I am of another opinion wherefore if you will go along with me to the old VVidow Madam Passionate and help to Countenance my Sute I shall take it as an act of Friendship Monsieur Comerade Come we will be thy Pillars to support thee Exeunt Scene 10. Enter Nell Careless and Doll Pacify DOll Pacify What doth thy Lady resolve to live an Anchoret Nell Careless I think so Doll Pacify How doth she pass away her time in her solitary Self Nell Careless Why as soon as she rises she goeth to my Lords Tomb and sayes her Prayers then she returns and eats some little Breakfast as a Crust of Bread and a Draught of Water then she goeth to her Gallery and walks and Contemplates all the Forenoon then about twelve a Clock at Noon she goeth to the Tomb again and sayes more Prayers then returns and eats a small Dinner of some Spoon-meats and most of the Afternoon she sits by the Tomb and reads or walks in the Cloyster and views the Pictures of my Lord that are placed upon the Walls then in the Evening she sayes her Evening Prayers at the Tomb and eats some light Supper and then prayes at the Tomb before she goeth to Bed and at Midnight she rises and takes a white waxen Torch lighted in her hand and goeth to the Tomb to pray and then returns to Bed Doll Pacify Faith she prayes often enough in the day she shall not need to pray at Midnight but why doth she rise just at Midnight Nell Careless I know not unless she is of that opinion which some have been of which is that the Souls or Spirits of the dead rise at that hour out of their Graves and Tombs to visit the face of the Earth and perhaps my Lady watches or hopes to converse by that means with my Lords Ghost for since she cannot converse with him living she desires to converse with him dead or otherwise she would not spend most of her time at this Tomb as she doth but how doth thy Lady spend her time now Doll Pacify Faith as a Lady should do with nourishing her Body with good hearty meats and drink And though my Lady doth not pray at Midnight yet she converses with Spirits at that time of Night Nell Careless What Spirits Doll Pacify Marry Spirits distilled from Wine and other Cordials which she drinks when she wakes which is at Midnight but do you watch fast and pray as thy Lady doth Nell Careless No truly for I feed with the rest of my Ladies Servants which live within the House without the Cloyster and they eat and drink more liberally Exeunt Scene 11. Enter Monsieur la Gravity Monsieur Compagnion and Monsieur Comerade as to Madam Passionates House enter Madam Passionates Gentleman Usher MOnsieur la Gravity Sir we come to kiss the hands of the Lady Passionate if you please to inform your Lady of us Gentleman Usher I shall if 't please you to enter into another Room Exeunt Scene 12. Enter Doll Pacify as to her Lady Madam Passionate in her Chamber where her Cabinets were DOll Pacify Madam there are three Gentlemen come to visit you desiring you would give them leave to kiss your hands Madam Passionate Shut down the lid of the Seller of Strong-waters and rid away the loose things that lie about that my Chamber may appear in some order The Maid sets things in order whilst the old Lady is trimming her self in the Looking-glass Madam Passionate Bring in those Gentlemen The Maid goes out then enters with the Gentlemen the two young men speak to each other the time that Monsieur la Gravity is saluting Monsieur Compagnion I marry Sir here is a comfortable smell indeed Monsieur Comerade Faith the smell of these Spirits overcomes my Spirits for I am ready to swound Then they go and salute the Lady Madam Passionate Pray Gentlemen sit down They sit Truly I have had so great a wind in my Stomack as it hath troubled me very much Compagnion speaks softly to Comerade Monsieur Compagnion VVhich to express the better she rasps at every word to make a full stop Monsieur la Gravity Perchance Madam you have eaten some meat that disgests not well Speaks aside Monsieur Compagnion A Toad Lady Passionate No truly I cannot gess what should cause it unless it be an old pipin and that is accounted a great restorative She fetches a great sigh But I believe it is the drugs of my Sorrow which stick in my Stomack for I have grieved mightily for my dead Husband rest his Soul he was a good Man and as kind a Husband as ever woman had Monsieur la Gravity But the destinies Madam are not to be controuled Death seizes on all be it early or late wherefore every one is to make their life as happy as they can since life is so short and in order to that you should chuse a new Companion to live withall wherefore you must marry again Lady Passionate 'T is true the Destinies are not to be controuled as you say wherefore if my Destiny be to marry I shall marry or else I shall dye a Widow Monsieur Compagnion aside softly as in the ear of Monsieur Comerade Monsieur Compagnion She will lay the fault of her second Marriage on Destiny as many the like foolish actions are laid to Destinies charge which she was never guilty of Monsieur la Gravity If I should gess at your destiny I should judge you will marry again by the quickness of your Eyes which are fair and lovely She simpers Lady Passionate O Sir you flatter me Monsieur Compagnion He be sworn that he doth Aside Lady Passionate But my Eyes were good as I have been told both by my Glass and Friends when I was young but now my face is in the Autumal Softly to Comerade aside Monsieur Compagnion Nay faith it is in the midst of Winter Lady Passionate But now you talk of Eyes that young Gentlemans Eyes points to Compagnion do so resemble my Husbands as I can scarce look off from them they have a good Aspect Monsieur Compagnion I am glad they have an influence upon your Ladiship She speaks as softly to her self La. Passion By my faith wittily answered I dare say he is a notable youth Sir for resemblance of
be dispersed for the search of it and if it should be lost then there must seem to be more lamentation for it than if the Enemy had given us an intire defeat or else we shall have frowns instead of preferments 2 Gent. The truth is I wonder the General will trouble himself with his wife when it is the only time a married man hath to enjoy a Mistriss without jealousy a spritely sound wench that may go along without trouble with bag and baggage to wash his linnen and make his field Bed and attend to his call when a wife requires more attendance than Centries to watch the Enemy 3 Gent. For my part I wonder as much that any man should be so fond of his wife as to carry her with him for I am only glad of the VVars because I have a good pretence to leave my wife behind me besides an Army is a quiet solitary place and yields a man a peaceable life compared to that at home for what with the faction and mutiny amongst his Servants and the noise the women make for their tongues like as an Alarum beat up quaters in every Corner of the House that a man can take no rest besides every day he hath a set Battel with his wife and from the Army of her angry thoughts she sends forth such vollies of words with her Gunpowder anger and the fire of her fury as breaks all the ranks and files of content and puts happiness to an utter rout so as for my part I am forced to run away in discontent although some Husbands will stay and fight for the Victory 4 Gent. Gentlemen Gentlemen pray condemn not a man for taking his lawfull delight or for ordering his private affairs to his own humour every man is free to himself and to what is his as long as he disturbs not his Neighbours nor breaks the Peace of the Kingdome nor disorders the Common-wealth but submits to the Laws and obeys the Magistrates without dispute besides Gentlemen 't is no crime nor wonder for a man to let his wife go along with him when he goeth to the Wars for there hath been examples for Pompey had a wife with him and so had Germanicus and so had many great and worthy Heroicks and as for Alexander the great he had a wife or two with him besides in many Nations men are not only desired but commanded by the Chiefs to let their wives go with them and it hath been a practice by long Custome for women to be spectators in their Battels to encourage their fights and so give fire to their Spirits also to attend them in their Sicknesses to clense their wounds to dress their meat and who is fitter than a wife what other woman will be so lovingly carefull and industriously helpfull as a wife and if the Greekes had not left their wives behind them but had carried them along to the Trojan Wars they would not have found such disorders as they did at their return nor had such bad welcome home as witness Agamemnons besides there have been many women that have not only been Spectators but Actors leading Armies and directing Battels with good success and there have been so many of these Heroicks as it would be tedious at this time to recount besides the examples of womens courage in Death as also their wise conduct and valiant actions in Wars are many and pray give me leave to speak without your being offended thereat it is not Noble nor the part of a Gentleman to censure condemn or dispraise another mans private actions which nothing concerns him especially when there is so gallant a subject to discourse of as the discipline and actions of these Wars we are entring into 1 Gent. Introth Sir you have instructed us so well and have chid us so handsomely as we are sorry for our errour and ask pardon for our fault and our repentance shall be known by that we will never censure so again Exeunt ACT II. Scene 5. Enter Captain Whiffell and Madam Whiffell his Wife CAptain Whiffell I have heard our Generals Lady goeth with the General her Husband to the Wars wherefore I think it fit for the rest of the Commanders if it were only for policy to let our General see that we approve of his actions so well as to imitate him in ours carrying our Wives along with us besides the Generals Lady cannot chose but take it kindly to have our Wives wait upon her wherefore Wife it is fit you should go Madam Whiffell Alas Husband I am so tender that I am apt to catch cold if the least puff of wind do but blow upon me wherefore to ly in the open Fields will kill me the first Night if not the very journey will shatter my small bones to peeces Captain Whiffell Why our Generals Lady is a very fine young Lady and she ventures to go Madam Whiffell There let her venture for you must excuse me for I will stay at home go you where you please Captain Whiffell Well VVife consider it Exeunt Scene 6. Enter Captain Ruffell and his Wife Madam Ruffell CAptain Ruffell VVife prepare your self to follow the Army for 't is now the fashion for VVives to march wherefore pack up and away Madam Ruffell VVhat with a Knapsack behind me as your Trull not I for I will not disquiet my rest with inconveniences nor divert my pleasures with troubles nor be affrighted with the roring Cannons nor indanger my life with every Potgun nor be frozen up with Cold nor stew'd to a gelly with heat nor be powdered up with dust untill I come to be as dry as a Neats-tongue besides I will not venture my Complexion to the wroth of the Sun which will tan me like a Sheeps skin Captain Ruffell Faith VVife if you will not go I will have a Landery-Maid to ride in my VVaggon and ly in my Tent Madam Ruffell Prethee Husband take thy Kitching Maid along too for she may have as much Grease about her as will serve to make Sope to wash your Linnen with and while you ride with your Landery-Maid in your Waggon I will ride with my Gentleman-Usher in my Coach Captain Ruffell Why Wife it is out of love that I would have thee go Madam Ruffell And 't is out of love that I will stay at home besides do you think I mean to follow your Generals Lady as a common Trooper doth a Commander to feed upon her reversions to wait for her favour to watch for a smile no no I will be Generalissimo my self at home and distribute my Colours to be carried in the Hats of those that will fight in my quarrel to keep or gain the Victory of my favour and love Captain Ruffell So I may chance to be a Cuckhold before I return home Madam Ruffell You must trust to Fortune for that and so I wish you a good Journey Exeunt Scene 7. Enter Seigneur Valeroso and his friend Monsieur la Hardy to
take their leaves of their Wives Madam Jantil and Madam Passionate Madam Jantil young and beautifull Madam Passionate in years Madam Iantil. I cannot chuse but take it unkindly that you will go without me do you mistrust my affection as that I have not as much love for you as the Generals Lady hath for her Husband or do you desire to leave me because you would take a Mistriss along with you one that perchance hath more Beauty than you think me to have with whom you may securely and freely sit in your Tent and gaze upon or one that hath more wit than I whose sweet smooth and flattering words may charm your thoughts and draw your Soul out of your ears to sit upon her Lips or dancing with delight upon her Tongue Seigneur Valeroso Prethee Wife be not jealous I vow to Heaven no other Beauty can attract my eyes but thine nor any sound can please my brain but what thy charming Tongue sends in besides I prise not what thy Body is but how thy Soul 's adorn'd thy virtue would make me think thee fair although thou wert deformed and wittier far than Mercury hadst thou Midas's ears but thou hast all that man can wish of women kind and that is the reason I will leave thee safe at home for I am loth to venture all my wealth and happiness in Fortunes unconstant Bark suffering thy tender youth and Sex to float on the rough waves of chance where dangers like to Northern winds blow high and who can know but that fatal gusts may come and overwhelm thee and drown all my joys wherefore for my sake keep thy self safe at home Madam Iantil. I shall obey you but yet I think it were not well I should be a long time from you and at a great distance Seigneur Valeroso I will promise you if I perceive the War is like to be prolonged and that there be Garrison-Towns so safe as you may securely live in I will send for you placing you so where sometimes I may visit you Madam Iantil. Pray do not forget me so much as to cancell your promise Seigneur Valeroso Forget the sweet I should sooner forget life and if I do whilst I have memory Heaven forget me Madam Iantil. I must ask you a question which is to know why you will take an under command being so nobly Born and bearing a high Title of Honour your self and being Master of a great Estate Seigneur Valeroso To let the World see my Courage is above my Birth Wealth or Pride and that I prefer inward worth before outward Title and I had rather give my life to the Enemy on honourable terms than basely to stay at home in time of general Wars out of an ambitious discontent for valour had rather have dangers to fight with than Offices to command in Seigneur Valeroso and his Lady whispers while the other two Monsieur la Hardy and his Lady speaks Madam Passionate Why should you go to the Wars now you are in years and not so fit for action as those that are young and have their strengths about them besides we have lived a married pair above these thirty years and never parted and shall we now be seperated when we are old She weeps Monsieur la Hardy Alas Wife what would you have me do when I am commanded out I must obey besides I would not have my Country fight a Battel whilst I live and I not make one for all the World for when I cannot fight my Body shall serve to stop a breach wherefore leave your crying Wife and fall to praying for our safe return and here my noble friend is desirous you should stay with his Lady to comfort one another and to divert Melancholy and the longing hours of our return Madam Passionate Farewell I fear I shall never see you again for your absence will soon kill me She cryes Exeunt Scene 8. Enter two Gentlemen 1 GEnt. O you are welcome from the Army what news 2 Gent. VVhy our Army march'd untill they came unto the frontiers of the Kingdome where they found the Army of the Enemy ready to encounter them the Lord General seeing they must of necessity fight a Battel thought best to call a Council of VVar that there might be nothing of ill conduct laid to his chardge but that all might be ordered by a wise and experienced Council whereupon he made an election of Counsellors joyning together three sorts as grave wife and prudent men subtill and politick men and valiant skillfull martiall men that the cold temper of the prudent might allay the hot temper of the valiant and that the politick might be as ingenious to serve them together by subtill devises and to make traps of Stragems to catch in the Enemy and at this Council many debates there were but at last they did conclude a Battel must be fought but first they did decree that all the women should be sent into one of their Garrison Towns some two dayes journey from the Army the reasons were that if they should be overcome by their Enemyes the women might be taken by their Enemyes and made Slaves using or abusing them as they pleased but when the women were sent away they did not shed tears of sorrow but sent such vollies of angry words as wounded many mens hearts but when they were almost at the Town that was to be their aboad the Generals Lady was so extremely incensed against the Counsellers by reason they decreed her departure with the others as she strove to raise up the Spirits of the rest of her Sex to the height of her own but what the issue will be I know not 1 Gent. Have you been with the King 2 Gent. Yes I was sent to give him an account of the Army Exeunt Scene 9. Enter the Lady Victoria and a number of women of all sorts with her she takes her stand upon a heap of green Turfs as being in the Fields before the Garrison Town and then speaks to those women LAdy Victoria Most Heroical Spirits of most chast and loving Wives Mistrisses Sisters Children or Friends I know you came not from your several Houses and homes into this Army meerly to enjoy your Husbands Lovers Parents and Friends in their safe and secure Garrisons or only to share of their troublesome and tedious marches but to venture also in their dangerous and cruell Battels to run their Fortunes and to force Destiny to joyn you to their Periods but the Masculine Sex hath separated us and cast us out of their Companyes either out of their loving care and desire of preserving our lives and liberties lest we might be distroyed in their confusions or taken Prisoners in their loss or else it must be out of jealousy we should Eclipse the fame of their valours with the splendor of our constancy and if it be Love let us never give the preheminence for then we should lose that Prerogative that belongs to the Crown of our Sex