Northeast winde my good Euphues doth neuer last three dayes tempestes haue but a short time and the more violent the thunder is the lesse permanent it is In the like manner it falleth out with the iarres crossings of friendes which begun in a minute are ended in a moment Necessary it is that among friendes there shoulde bée some ouerthwarting but to continue in anger not conuenient the Camill first troubleth the water before he drinke y e Frankencense is burned before it smel friends are tryed before they be trusted least shining like y e Carbuncle as though they had fire they be found being touched to be without fire Friendshippe should be lyke the Wine which Homer much commending calleth Maroneum where-off one pinte being mingled with fiue quartes of water yet it kéepeth his olde strength and vertue not to be quallified by any discourtesie Where salt doth growe nothing els can bréede where friendship is buylt no offence can harbour Then good Euphues let the falling out of friendes be the renuing of affection that in this we maye resemble the bones of the Lyon which lying still and not mooued begin to rot but being striken one against another break out lyke fire and ware greene The anger of friendes is not vnlike vnto the Phisitions Cucurbitae which drawing al the infection in y e body into one place doth purge all diseases and the iarres of friends reaping vp all the hidden mallices or suspitions or follyes that lay lurking in the minde maketh the knot more durable For as the body being purged of melantholy waxeth light and apt to al labour so the minde as it were scoured of mistrust becommeth fit euer after for beléefe But why doe I not confesse that which I haue coÌ„mitted or knowing my self guilty why vse I to glose I haue vniustly my good Euphues picked a quarrell against thée forgetting the counsell thou giuest mée and dispistng that which I nowe desire Which as often as I call to my minde I cannot but blushe to my selfe for shame and fall out with my selfe for anger For in falling out with thée I haue done no otherwise then he that desiring to saile safely killeth him at the helme resembling him that hauing néede to alight spurreth his horse to make him stande still or him that swimming vppon anothers backe séeketh to stoppe his breath It was in thée Euphues that I put all my trust and yet vppon thée that I poured out all my mallice more cruell then the Crocadile who suffereth the birde to bréed in hir mouth that scoureth hir téeth nothing so gentle as the princely Lyon who saued his life that helped his foote But if either thy good nature can forget that which my ill tongue doth repent or thy accustomable kindnes forgiue that my vnbridled furie did commit I will hereafter be as willing to be thy seruant as I am now desirous to be thy friende and as readie to take an iniurie as I was to giue an offence What I haue done in thine absence I wil certifie at thy comming yet I doubt not but thou cannest gesse by my condition yet this I add that I am as readie to die as to liue were I not animated with y e hope of thy good counsell I woulde rather haue suffered the death I wish for then sustained the shame I sought for But nowe in these extremities reposing both my life in thy hands and my seruice at thy commaundement I attend thine aunswere and rest thine to vse more then his owne Philautus THis letter he dispatched by his boyâ— whiche Euphues reading coulde not tell whether he shoulde more reioyce at his friends submission or mistrust his subtiltie therefore as one not resoluing himselfe to determine any thing as yet aunswered him thus immediatelye by his owne messenger Euphues to him that was his Philautus I Haue receiued thy letter and knowe the man I read it and perceiued the matter which I am as farre from knowing howe to aunswere as I was from looking for such an errand Thou beginnest to inferre a necessitie that friendes should fall out when as I cannot allow a conuenience For if it be among such as are faithfull there should be no cause of breach if betwéene dissemblers no care of reconciliation The Camel saist thou loueth water when it is troubled and I say the Hart thirsfeth for the cleare streame and fitly diddest thou bring it in against thy self though applyed it I knowe not how aptly for thy selfe for such friendship doest thou like where braules may be stirred not quietnesse sought The wine Maroneum which thou commendest and the salt ground which thou inferrest the one is neither fit for thy drinkng nor the other for thy tast for such strong Wines will ouer-come such light wittes and so good salt cannot relysh in so vnsauory a mouth neither as thou desirest to applye them can they stande thée in stéede For oftentimes haue I founde much Water in thy déedes but not one drop of such wine and the ground where salt shoulde growe but neuer one corne that had sauour After many reasons to conclude that iarres were requisite thou faâ—â—est to a kind of submission which I meruayle at For if I gaue no cause why diddest thou picke a quarrell if anye why shouldest thou craue a pardon If thou canst defie thy best friende what wilt thou doe to thine enemie Certeinely this must néedes ensue that if thou canst not be constant to thy friende when he doth thée good thou wilt neuer beare with him when he shall doe thée harme thou that séekest to spill the bloude of the innocent canst she we small mercie to an offender thou that treadest a Worme on the tayle wilt crush a Waspe on the heade thou that art angrye for no cause wilt I thinke runne madde for a light occasion Truely Philautus that once I loued thée I can-not deny that now I should againe do so I refuse For smal confidence shall I repose in thée when I am guiltie that can finde no refuge in innocencie The mallyce of a friende is like the sting of an Aspe which nothing can remedie for being pearced in y e hande it must be cut off and a friend thrust to the heart it must be pulled out I had as liefe Philautus haue a wound that inwardly might lightly grieue me then a scarre that outwardly should greatly shame me In that thou séemest so earnest to craue attonement thou causest me the more to suspect thy trueth for either thou art compelled by necessitie then it is not worth thankes or els disposed againe to abuse me and then it deserueth reuenge Eeles cannot be held in a wet hand yet are they stayed with a bitter Figge leafe the Lamprey is not to be killed with a cugell yet is she spoyled with a cane so friends that are so slipperye wauering in all their dealings are not be kept with faire and smooth talke but with rough sharpe taunts contrariwise
to blush at the last though long time strayning courtesie who should goe ouer the stile when we had both haste I for that I knew women would rather dye than séeme to desire began first to vnfolde the extremities of my passions the causes of my loue the constancie of my faith the which she knowing to be true easely beléeued and replyed in the lyke manner which I thought not certeine not that I misdoubted hir faith but that I could not perswade my selfe of so good fortune Hauing thus made each other priuie to our wished desires I frequented more often to Camilla which caused my friendes to suspect that which now they shall finde true and this was the cause that we all méete héere that before this good companye wée might knitte that knotte with our tongues that we shal neuer vndoe with our téeth This was Surius speach vnto me which Camilla with the rest affirmed But I Euphues in whose hearte the stumpes of loue were yet sticking beganne to chaunge colour féeling as it were new stormes to arise after a pleasaunt calme but thinking with my selfe that the time was past to wooe hir that an other was to wedde I digested the Pill which had almost choakt mée But Time caused me to sing a new Tune as after thou shalt heare After much talke great théere I taking my leaue departed being willed to visit the Lady Flauia at my leasure which word was to me in stéede of a welcome With-in a while after it was noised that Surius was assured to Camilla which bread quarrells but he lyke a noble Gentleman reioycing more in his loue than estéeming the losse of his friends maugre them all was maried not in a chamber priuately as one fearing tumults but openly in the Church as one ready to aunswer any obiections This mariage solemnized could not be recalled which raused his Allyes to consent and so all parties pleased I thinke them the happiest couple in the world Now Euphues thou shalt vnderstand that all hope being cut off from obteining Camilla I began to vse the aduauntage of y e word that y e lady Flauia cast out whom I visited more like to a soiourner than a straunger being absent at no time from breakfast till euening Draffe was mine arrand but drinke I woulde my great courtesie was to excuse my grieuous torments for I ceased not continually to court my violet whom I neuer found so coy as I thought nor so courteous as I wished At the last thinking not to spend all my wooing in signes I fell to flat sayings reuealyng the bitter swéetes that I sustayned the ioye at hir presence the griefe at hir absence with all speaches that a Louer might frame she not degenerating from the wyles of a woman séemed to accuse men of inconstancie that the painted words were but winde that fayned sighes were but flights that all their loue was but to laugh laying eayghts to catch the fish that they ment agayne to throw into the Riuer practising onely cunning to deceiue not courtesie to tell truth wherin she compared all Louers to Mizaldus â—he Poet which was so lyght that euery winde would blow him away vnlesse he had lead tyed to his héeles and to the fugitiue stone in Cicyco which runneth away if it be not fastened to some post Thus would she dally a wench euer-more giuen to such disport I aunswered for my selfe as I coulde and for all men as I thought Thus oftentimes had we conference but no conclusion many méetings but few pastimes vntill at the last Surius one that coulde quicklye perceiue on which side my breade was buttered beganne to breake with moe touching Frauncis not as though he had heard any thing but as one that wold vnderstand some thing I durst not séeme straunge when I found him so courteous knowing that in this matter he might almost worke al to my lyking I vnfolded to him from time to time the whole disscourses I had with my Uiolet my earnest desire to obtaine hir my landes goods and reuenewes who hearing my tale promised to further my suite where-in hée so besturred his studie that with-in one moneth I was in passibilytie to haue hir I most wished and leaste looked for It were too too long to write an Historye béeing but determined to sende a Letter therfore I will deferre all the actions and accidents that happened vntill occasion shall serue either to méete thée or minister leasure to mee To this ende it grew that conditions drawen for the performaunce of a certeine ioynter for the which I had many Italians bound we were both made as sure as Surius and Camilla Hir dowrie was in redy money a thousand poundes and a fayre house wherein I meane shortly to dwel The ioynter I must make is foure hundred poundes yearely the which I must héere purchase in England and sell my landes in Italy Now Euphues imagine with thy selfe that Philautus beginneth to change although in one yere to marry and to thriue it be hard But would I might once againe sée thée héere vnto whome thou shalt be no lesse welcome than to thy best friend Surius that noble Gentleman commendeth him vnto thée Camilla forgetteth thée not both earnestly wishe thy retourne with great promises to doe thée good whether thou wish it in the Court or in the Countrey and this I durste sweare that if thou come agayne into Englande thou wilt be so friendlye intreated that either thou wilt altogether dwell héere or tarry héere longer The Lady Flauia saluteth thée and also my Uyolet euerye one wisheth thée so well as thou canst wishe thy selfe no better Other newes héere is none but that which lyttle apperteineth to mée and nothing to thée Two requestes I haue to make as well from Surius as my selfe the one to come into Englande the other to heare thine aunswere And thus in haste I bidde thée fare-well From London the first of February 1579. Thine or not his owne Philautus THis letter being delyuered to Euphues and well perused caused him both to meruayle and to ioye séeing all things so straungely concluded and his friend so happely contracted hauing therfore by the same meanes opportuntie to sende aunswere by the which he had pleasure to receiue newes hée dispatched his Letter in this forme ¶ Euphues to Philautus THere could nothing haue come out of England to Euphues more welcom theÌ„ thy letters vnlesse it had ben thy person which when I had throughly perused I could not at the first either beléeue them for the straungenesse or at the last for the happinesse for vppon the sodaine to heare such alterations of Surius passed all credite and to vnderstand so fortunate successe to Philautus all expectation yet considering that many things fall betwéene the cup and the lip that in one luckie houre more rare things come to passe theÌ„ some-times in seauen yeare y t marriages are made in heauen though consumated in earth I was brought both to beléeue the euents
natiue soyle where finding my brother as farre now to ercéed others in wealth as he did me in witte and that he had gained more by thrift then I could spend by pride I neither enuied his estate nor pitied mine own but opened the whole course of my youth not thinking thereby to recouer that of him by request which I had lost my selfe by ryot for casting in my minde the miseries of the world with the mischiefes of my lyfe I determined from that vnto my liues end to lead a solitary life in this caue which I haue done the tearme of ful fortie Winters froÌ„ whence neither the earnest entreatie of my Brother nor the bayne pleasures of the world could drawe mée neither shall any thing but death Then my good Callimachus recorde with thy selfe the inconueniences that come by trauailyng when on the Seas euery storme shall threaten death and euery calme a daunger when either thou shalt be compelled to boord others as a Pyrate or feare to be boorded of others as a Merchaunt when at all times thou must haue the back of an Asse to beare all and the snout of a Swine to say nothing thy hand on thy cap to shew reuerence to euery rascall thy pursse open to be prodigal to euery Boore thy sword in thy sheath not once daring either to strike or ward which maketh me thinke that trauaylers are not onely framed not to commit iniuries but also to take them Learne Callimachus of the bird Acanthis who being bredde in the thistells wil liue in the thistels and of the grashopper who being sprong of the grasse wil rather dye theÌ„ depart from the grasse I am of this minde with Homer that as the Snaile that crept out of hir shel was turned eftsoones into a Toad and therby was forced to make a stoole to sit on disdaining hir owne house so the Trauailer that stragleth from his owne countrey is in short time transformed into so monstrous a shape that he is faine to alter his mansion with his manners and to liue where he can not wher he would What did Vlysses wish in the midst of his trauailing but onely to sée the smoake of his owne Chimney Did not all the Romaines say that he y t wandred did nothing els but heapâ— sorowes to his friends and shame to himselfe and resembled those that séeking to light a linke quenched a lamp imitating the barbarous Gothes who thought the rootes in Alexandria swéeter than the Kaisons in Barbary In my opinion it is a homely kinde of dealyng to preferre the courtesie of those he neuer knew before the honestie of those among whom he was borne he that cannot liue with a groate in his owne Countrey shall neuer enioy a penny in an other nation Little dost thou know Callimachus with what wood trauailers are warmed who must sléepe with their eyes open least they be slaine in their beddes and wake with their eyes shut least they be suspected by their lookes and eate with their mouthes close least they be poysoned with their meates Where if they war wealthie thou shalt be enuied not loued If poore punished not pittied If wise accounted espyalls If foolish made drudges Euery Gentle-man will be thy péere though they be noble and euery pesant their Lord if they be gentle Hée therefore that leaueth his owne house to séeke aduentures is like the Quaile that forsaketh the Malowes to eate Hemlocke or the Flye that shunneth the Rose to light in a cowshard No Callimachus there wil no mosse sticke to the stone of Sisiphus no grasse hang on the héeles of Mercurie no butter cleaue on y e bread of a trauailer For as the Egle at euery flight looseth a fether which maketh hir bald in hir age so the trauailer in euery countrey looseth some fléece which maketh him a begger in his youth buying that with a pound which he cannot sell again for a pen ney repentaunce But why go I about to disswad thée from that which I my selfe followed or to perswade thée to that which thou thy selfe flyest My gray haires are like vnto a white frost thy read bloud not vnlike vnto a hot fire so that it can-not be that either thou shouldest follow my counsell or I allow thy conditions such a quarrell hath there alwayes béene betwéene the graue and the cradle that he that is young thinketh the old man fond and the old knoweth the young man to be a foole But Callimachus for y e towardnes I sée in thée I must néedes loue thée and for thy frowardnesse of force counsell thée do in the same sort as Phoebus did the daring boy Phaeton Thou goest about a great matter neither fit for thy yeres being very young nor thy profit being left so poore thou desirest y t which thou knowest not neither can any performe that which thou séemest to promise If thou couet to trauaile straunge countries search the Maps there shalt thou sée much with great pleasure and small paines if to be conuersant in all courtes read histories where thou shalt vnderstand both what the men haue bene what their manners are and me thinketh there must be much delight when there is no daunger And if thou haue any care either of the gréene bud which springeth out of the tender stalke or the timelye fruite which is to growe of so good a roote séeke not to kill the one or hasten the other but let time so work that grafts may be gathered of the trée rather then sticks to burne And so I leaue thée not to thy selfe but to him that made thée who guide thée with his grace whether thou go as thou wouldest or tarry at home as thou shouldest Callimachus obstinate in his fond conceit was so far from being perswaded by this old Hermit that he rather made it a greater occasion of his pilgrimage with an answer betwéene scorning and resoning he replyed thus Father or friende I knowe not very well howe to tearme you I haue bene as attentiue to heare your good discourse as you were willing to vtter it yet me thinketh you deale meruailously with youth in séeking by sage counsel to put gray hayres on their chins before nature hath giuen them almost anye hayres on their heades where-in you haue gone so farre that in my opinion your labour had bene better spent in trauailing where you haue not liued then in talking where you cannot be beleeued You haue bene a Trauailer and tasted nothing but sowre therefore whosoeuer trauaileth shall eate of the same sauce an Argument it is that your fortune was ill not that others should be as had and a warning to make you wise not a warning to proue others vnfortunate Shall a soldier that hath receiued a skarre in the battaile giue out that all warriours shall be mayâ—ied Or the Marchaunt that hath lost by the Seas be a cause that no other should venture or a trauailer that hath sustained harme by sinister fortune or ben infected
of his Lady thinketh himself forlorne And this vile Dog Looue will so rancle where hée biteth that I feare my Friends sure wil bréed to a Fistula for you may perceiue that he is not where he liues but wher he loues more thoughts hath he in his head thē you Bées in your hiues and better it were for him to be naked among your Waspes though his bodie were all blistered then to haue his hart stong so with affection wherby he is so blinded But beléeue mée Fidus he taketh as great delight to course a cogitation of loue as you do to vse your time w t Honny In this plight hath he bene euer since his comming out of Naples so hath it wrought with him which I hadde thought impossible that pure loue did make him seasick insomuch as in all my trauaile with him I séemed to euery one to beare with me the picture of a proper man but no liuing person the more pitie and yet no force Philautus taking Euphues tale by the end and the old man by the arme betwéene griefe and game iest earnest aunswered him thus EVPHVES would dye if he should not talke of loue once in a day and therefore you must giue him leaue after euery meale to cloase his stomack w t loue as with Marmalade and I haue heard not those that say nothing but they that kicke oftnest against loue are euer in loue yet doth he vse me as the meane to moue the matter as the man to make his Myrrour he himselfe knowing best the price of Corne not by the market folkes but his owne footesteps But if he vse this speach either to make you merry or to put me out of conceipt he doth wel you must thanke him for the one and I wil think on him for the other I haue oftentimes sworne that I am as farre from loue as he yet wil be not beléeue me as incredulous as those who thinke none balde till they see his braynes As Euphues was making answere Fidus preuented him in this manner THere is no harme done Philautus for whether you loue or Euphues lest this shall bréede no iarre It may be when I was as young as you I was as idle as you though in my opinion ther is none lesse idle then a louer For to tel the truth I my self was once a courtier in the dayes of that most noble king of famous memory Henry the eight Father to our most gratious Lady Elizabeth Where and with that he paused as though the remembraunce of his olde lyfe had stopped his new speach but Philautus itching to heare what he would say desired him to goe forward vnto whome Fidus fetching a great sigh sayd I will And there againe made a full poynt Philautus burning as it were in desire of this discourse vrged him again with great entreatie then the olde man commaunded the boord to be vncouered grace being sayd called for stooles sitting by the fire vttered the whole discourse of his loue which brought Philautus a bed and Euphues a sleepe And now Gentlemen if you wil giue eare to the tale of Fidus it may be some will be as watchful as Philautus though many as drousic as Euphues And thus he began with a heauie countenaunce as though his paines were present not past to frame his tale I Was borne in the wilde of Kent of honest parents and worshipfull whose tender cares if the fondnesse of Parents may be so termed prouided all things euen from my very cradle vntill their graues that might either bring me vpp in good letters or make me heire to great lyuings I without arrogancie be it spoken was not inferiour in wit to many which finding in my self I flattered my selfe but in the ende deceiued my selfe For being of the age of xx yeares ther was no trade or kinde of life that either fitted my humour or serued my tourne but the Court thinking that place the only meanes to climbe high and fit sure Where-in I followed the vayne of young Souldiours who iudge nothing swéeter then warre till they féele the weight I was there enterteined as wel by the great friends my father made as by mine own forwardnes wher it béeing now but Honny moone I endeuoured to Courte it with a grace almost past grace laying more on my backe then my friends could wel beare hauing many times a braue cloke and a thred bare purse Who so conuersant with the Ladyes as I who so pleasaunt who more prodigall Insomuch as I thought the time lost which was not spent either in their company with delyght or for their company in letters Among al the troup of gallant Gentlemen I singled out one in whome I mislyked nothing but his grauitie that aboue all I ment to trust who aswel for the good qualities he saw in me as the little gouernment he feared in me began one night to vtter these few words Friend Fidus if Fortune allow a terme so familiar I would I might lyue to sée thée as wise as I perceiue thée wittie then should thy lyfe be so seasoned as neither too much witte might make thée proud nor too great riot poore My acquaintance is not great with thy person but such insight haue I into thy conditions that I feare nothing so much as that there thou catch thy fall where thou thinkest to take thy rysing There belongeth more to a Courtier then brauery which the wise laugh at or personage which the chast marke not or wit which the most part sée not It is sober and discréet behauiour ciuil and gentle demenour that in court winneth both credit and commoditie which counsel thy vnripened yeres thinke to procéed rather of the malyce of Age then the good meaning To ride well is laudable and I like it to run at the tilt not amisse and I desire it to reuel much to be praysed and I haue vsed it which things as I knowe them all to be courtly so for my part I accompt them necessarie for where greatest assemblies are of noble gentlemen there should be the greatest exercise of true Nobilitie And I am not precise but that I esteme it is as expedient in feates of armes and actiuitie to employ the body as in studie to wast the minde yet so should the one bée tempered with the other as it might seeme as great a shame to be valiant and courtly without learning as to be studious and bookish with-out valure But there is an other thing Fidus which I am to warn thee off and if I might to wreast thée from not that I enuye thy estate but that I would not haue thée forget it Thou bsest too much a lyttle I thinke to be too much to dally with women which is the next waye to doate on thē For as they that angle for the Tortois hauing once caught him are driuen into such a lythernesse that they loose all their spirites being benummed so they that séeke to obtaine the good will
oftentimes droÌ„ken I see thy humour is loue thy quarrell iealousie the one I gather by thine addle head the other by thy suspitious nature but I leaue them both to thy will and thée to thine owne wickednesse Pretely to cloke thine owne folly thou callest me theese first not vnlyke vnto a curst wife who deseruing a checke beginneth first to scolde Ther is nothing that can cure the Kings euills but a Prince nothing ease a pluriste but letting bloud nothing purge thy humour but that which I can-not giue thée nor thou get of any other lybertie Thou seemest to colour craft by a friendly kindnesse taking great care for my bondage that I might not distrust thy follyes which is as though the Thrush in the cage should be sory for the Nightingale which singeth on the tree or the Beare at the stake lament the mishap of the Lyon in the forrest But in truth Philautus though thy skin shew thée a Fore thy lyttle skill tryeth thée a Shéepe It is not the coulour that commendeth a good Painter but the good countenaunce nor the cutting that valueth y e Diamond but the vertue nor the glose of the tongue that tryeth a friend but the saith For as all coynes are not good that haue the Image of Caesar nor all golde that are coyned with the Kings stampe so al is not truth that beareth the show of godlinesse nor all friends that beare a faire face if thou pretend such loue to Euphues cary thy heart on the backe of thy hand and thy tongue in the palme that I may sée what is in thy minde and thou with thy fingers claspe thy mouth Of a straunger I can beare much bicause I know not his manners of an enimy more for that all procéedeth of mallyce al things of a friend if it be to trye me nothing if it be to betray me I am of Scipios minde who had rather that Hanniball shoulde eate his heart with salt than Laelius grieue it with vnkindenesse and of the like with Laelius who chose rather to be slaine with the Spaniards then suspected of Scipio I can better take a blister of a Nettle than a prick of a Rose more willing that a Rauen shoulde pecke out mine eyes than a Turtle pecke at them To dye of the meate one lyketh not is better then to â—urfette of that he loueth I had rather an enimy should bury me quicke than a friend belye me when I am dead But thy friendship Philautus is like a newe fashion which being vsed in the morning is accounted old before noone which varietie of chaunging being oftentimes noted of a graue Gentleman of Naples who hauing bought a Hat of the newest fashion and best blocke in all Italy and wearing it but one day it was told him that it was stale he hung it vp in his studie and biewing al sorts al shapes perceiued at the last his old Hat againe to come into the new fashion where-with smilyng to himselfe he sayd I haue now liued compasse for Adams olde Apron must make Eue a new Kirtle noting this that when no new thing could be deuised nothing could be more newe than the olde I speake this to this ende Philautus that I sée thée as often chaunge thy head as others doe their hats now being friend to Aiax bicause he should couer thee with his buckler now to Vlisses y t he may pleade for thée with his eloquence now to one and now to an other and thou dealest with thy friendes as that Gentleman did with his felt for séeing not my vaine aunswerable to thy vanities thou goest about but yet the néerest way to hang me vp for holy dayes as one either fitting thy head nor pleasing thy humour but when Philautus thou shalt sée that chaunge of friendships shal make thée a fat Calfe a leane Cofer y t there is no more holde in a new friend then a new fashion that hats alter as fast as the Turner can turne his blocke and hearts as soone as one can tourne his backe when seeing euery one retourne to his olde wearing finde it the best then compelled rather for want of others than good will of me thou wilt retire to Euphues whom thou laydst by the walls séeke him as a new friend saying to thy self I haue liued compasse Euphues olde faith must make Philautus a newe friend Wherin thou resemblest those that at y e first comming of new Wine leaue the olde yet finding that Grape more pleasaunt then wholesome they begin to say as Callâ—stines did to Alexander y t he had rather carrous old graines with Diogiâ—es in his dish then new Grapes with Alexander in his standing cup for of all Gods sayd he I loue not Aesculapius But thou art willyng to chaunge els wouldest thou be vnwilling to quarrell thou kéepest onelye company out of my sight with Reynaldo thy countreyman which I suspecting cencealed and now prouing it doe not care if he haue better deserued y e name of a friend than I god knoweth but as Achilles shteld being lost on y e Seas by Vlisses was tost by the Sea to the Tombe of Aiax as a manifest token of his right so thou being forsaken of Reynaldo wilt be found in Athens by Euphues dore as the true owner Which I speake not as one loath to loose thée but carefull thou loose not thy selfe Thou thinkest an Apple may please a childe and euery odde aunswere appease a friend No Philautus a Plaister is smal amends for a broken head a bad ercuse will not purge an ill accuser A Friende is long a getting and soone lost lyke a Merchaunts riches who by tempest looseth as much in two houres as hée hath gathered together in twentie yeares Nothing so fast knit as glasse yet once broken it can neuer be ioyned nothing fuller of mettall than stéele yet ouer heated it will neuer be hardened friendship is the best pearle but by disdaine throwne into vineger it bursteth rather in péeces then it will boowe to any softnesse It is a salt Fish that water cannot make fresh swéet honny that is not made bitter with gal hard golde that is not to be mollyffed with fire and a miraculous friend that is not made an enemye w t contempt But giue me leaue to examine the cause of thy discourse to the quicke and omitting the circumstaunce I will to the substaunce The only thing thou layest to my charge is loue and that is a good ornament the reasons to proue it is my praysing of women but that is no good argument Am I in loue Philautus with whome it shoulde be thou canst not coniecture and that it shold not be with thée thou giuest occasion Priamus began to be iealous of Hecuba when hée knew none did loue hir but when he loued manye and thou of me when thou art assured I loue none but thou thy self euery one but whether I loue or no I caÌ„not liue in quyet vnlesse I be fit for
THis letter being coyned he studied how he might coÌ„uey it knowing it to be no lesse perrillous to trust those he knew not in so weightie a case then difficult for himselfe to haue opportunitie to deliuer it in so suspitious a company At the last taking out of his closette a faire Pomgranet pulling all the kernells out of it he wrapped his letter in it closing the toppe of it finely that it could not be perceiued whether nature againe had knit it of purpose to further him or his arte had ouercome natures cunning This Pomgranet he tooke being himself both messenger of his Letter and the maister insâ—nuating himselfe into the company of the Gentlewomen among whom was also Camilla he was welcommed as wel for that he had ben long time absent as for that he was as al times pleasant much good coÌ„munication ther was touching many matters which here to insert wer neither conuenient seing it doth not concerne the History nor expedient séeing it is nothing to y e deliuery of Philautus letter But this it fell out in the end Camilla whether longing for so faire a Pomgranet or willed to aske it yet loth to require it she sodeinely complayned of an old disease wherwith she many times felt hir self grieued which was an extreame heate in y e stomack which aduantage Philautus marking would not let slip when it was purposely spokeÌ„ that he should not giue them the slip and therfore as one glad to haue so conuenient a time to offer both his duetie his deuotion he began thus I Haue heard Camilla of Phisitians that there is nothing either more comfortable or more profitable for the stomack or enflamed liuer then a Pomgranet which if it be true I am glad that I came in so good time with a medicine séeing you were in so il a time supprised with your maladie and verily this will I say that there is not one kernel but is able both to ease your paine and to double your pleasure with that he gaue it hir desiring that as she felt the working of the potion so she woulde consider of the Phisition Camilla with a smiling countenaunce neither suspecting the craft nor the conueyer answered him with these thankes I thank you Gentleman as much for your counsell as your curtesie and if your cunning be answerable to eyther of them I wil make you amends for all of them yet I wil not open so faire a fruite as this is vntil I féele the payne y t I so much feare As you please quoth Philautus yet if euery morning you take one kernel it is y e way to preuent your disease and me thinketh that you should be as careful to work meanes before it come that you haue it not as to vse meanes to expell it when you haue it I am content answered Camilla to try your phisicke which as I know it can do me no great harme so it may doe me much good In truth said one of the Gentlewomen then present I perceiue this Gentleman is not onely cunning in Phisicke but also very carefull for his Patient It behoueth quoth Philautus that he that ministreth to a Lady be as desirous of hir health as his own credite for that ther redoundeth more prayse to the PhisitioÌ„ that hath a care to his charge then to him that hath onlye a shew of his art And I trust Camilla wil better accept of the good will I haue to rid hir of hir disease then the gift which must worke the effect Otherwise quoth Camilla I were very much to blame knowing that in many the behauiour of the man hath wrought more then y e force of the medicine For I would alwayes haue my Phisition of a chéerefull countenaunce pleasantly conceipted well proportioned that he might haue his sharpe Potions mixed with swéete counsaile his sower druggs mittigated with merry discourses And this is the cause that in old time they painted the God of Phisicke not like Saturne but Aesculapius of a good complection fine witte and excellent constitution For this I knowe by experience though I bée but young to learne and haue not often bene sick that the sight of a pleasant and quicke witted Phisitian hath remoued that from my heart with talke that he could not with all his Triacle That might well be answered Philautus for the man that wrought the cure did perchaunce cause the disease and so secreate might the griefe be that none coulde heale you but he that hurte you neither was your heart to be eased by any inwarde potion but by some outward persuasion and then it is no meruaile if the ministring of a fewe words were more auayleable then Methridate Wel Gentleman saide Camilla I wil neither dispute in Phisicke wherin I haue no skil neither answere you to your last surmise which you séeme to leuel at but thanking you once againe both for your gift good will wée will vse other communication not forgetting to aske for your friend Euphues who hath not long time bene wher he might haue bene welcommed at al times and that hée came not with you at this time we both meruayle and would faine know This question so earnestly asked of Camilla and so harblye to be aunswered of Philautus nipped him in the head not withstanding least he shold séeme by long silence to incurre some suspition he thought a bad excuse better then none at al saying that Euphues now a dayes became so studious or as he tearmed it supersticious that hée could not himselfe so much as haue his company Belike quoth Camilla he hath either espied some newe faultes in the women of England whereby he séeketh to absent himselfe or some old haunt that will cause him to spoyle himselfe Not so said Philautus and yet that it was saide so I will tell him Thus after much conference many questions long time spent Philautus tooke his leaue and béeing in his chamber we wil there leaue him with such cogitations as they commonly haue that either attende the sentence of life or death at the bar or the aunswere of hope or dispaire of their loues which none can set down but he that hath them for that they are not to be vttered by the coniecture of one that would imagine what they should be but by him that knoweth what they are Camilla the next morning opened the Pomegranet saw the letter which reading pondering perusing shée fell into a thousand contrarieties whether it wer best to answere it or not at the last inflamed with a kinde of cholar for that she knew not what belonged to the perplexities of a Louer she requited his fraude and loue with anger and hate in these termes or the lyke To Philautus I Did long time debate with my self Philautus whether it might stand with mine honour to send thée an aunswere for comparing my place with thy person mée thought thy boldnes more then either good manners in thée would
permit or I with modestie could suffer Yet at the last casting with my self that y e heat of thy loue might cleane be razed with y e coldnes of my letter I thought it good to commit an inconuenience that I might preuent a mischiefe chusing rather to cut thée off short by rigour then to giue thée any iot of hope by silence Gréene sores are to be dressed roughly least they fester tettars to bée drawen in the beginning least they spread ring wormes to be anoynted when they first appeare least they coÌ„passe the whole body and the assalts of loue to be beaten baâ—k at the first siege least they vndermine at the second Fire is to be quenched in the spark weedes are to be rooted in the bud follies in the blossome Thinking this morning to trye thy Phisicke I perceiued thy fraud insomuch as the kernel that should haue cooled my stomack with moistnes hath kindeled it with cholar making a flaming fire wher it found but hot imbers conuerting like y e spider a sweet floure into a bitter poyson I am Philautus no Italian lady who commonly are woed with leasings won with lust entangled with deceipt and enioyed with delight caught with sinne and cast off with shame For mine owne parte I am too young to know the passions of a louer and too wise to beleeue them and so far from trusting any that I suspect all not that ther is in euery one a practise to deceiue but that there wanteth iâ— me a capacitie to conceiue Séeke not then Philautus to make the tender twig crooked by Arte which might haue growen streight by Nature Corne is not to be gathered in the budde but in the eare nor fruit to be pulled from the trée wheÌ„ it is gréene but when it is mellow nor Grapes to be cut for y e presse when they first rise but wheÌ„ they are full ripe nor young Ladies to be sued vnto that are fitter for a rod then a husband and méeter to beare blowes than children You must not thinke of vs as of those in your owne country that no sooner are out of the cradell but they are sent to the court and woed some-times before they are weaned which bringeth both the Nation their names not in question onely of dishonestie but into oblique This I would haue thée to take for a flat answere that I neither meane to loue thée nor héereafter if thou follow thy sute to heare thée Thy first practise in y e Masque I did not allow the second by thy writing I mislike if thou attempt the third means thou wilt enforce me to vtter that which modestie now maketh me to conceale If thy good wil be so great as thou tellest séeke to mitigate it by reason or time I thank thée for it but I can not requite it vnlesse either thou wert not Philautus or I not Camilla Thus pardoning thy boldnes vpon condition and resting thy friend if thou rest thy sute I ende Neither thine nor hir owne Camilla THis letter Camilla stitched into an Italian Petracke which she had determining at the nexte comming of Philautus to deliuer it vnder the pretence of asking some question or the vnderstanding of some worde Philautus attending hourely y e sucresse of his loue made his repaire according to his accustomable vse and finding the Gentlewomen sitting in an herbor saluted them curteouslye not forgetting to be inquisitiue how Camilla was eased by his Pomegranet which oftentimes asking of hir shee aunswered him thus In faith Philautus it had a faire coat but a rotten kernell which so much offended my weake stomack that the very sight caused me to loath it and the sent to throw it into the fire I am sory quoth Philautus who spake no lesse then truth that the medicine could not works that which my minde wished and with that stoode as one in a traunce which Camilla perceiuing thought best to ruâ— no more on that gall least the standers by should espy wher Philautus shooe wronge him Well sayd Camilla let it goe I must impute it to my ill fortune that where I looked for a restoritie I found a consumption and with that she drew out hir petracke requesting him to coÌ„ster hir a lesson hoping his learning would be better for a schoolemaster then his lucke was for a Phisition Thus walking in the ally she listned to his construction who tourning the booke found wher the letter was enclosed and dissembling that he suspected he sayd he would kéepe hir petracke vntill the morning doe you quoth Camilla With that the Gentlewomen clustered about them both either to heare how cunningly Philautus could conster or how readily Camilla could conceiue It fell out that they turned to suche a place as turned them all to a blanke where it was reasoned whether loue came at the sodeine viewe of beautie or by long experience of vertue a long disputation was lyke to ensue had not Camilla cut it off before they could ioyne issue as one not willing in the company of Philautus either to talke of loue or think of loue â—east either he should suspect she had bene woed or might be wonne which was not done so closely but it was perceiued of Philautus though dissembled Thus after many words they went to their dinner wher I omit their table talke least I loose mine After their repast Surius came in with a great train which lightened Camillas hart and was a dagger to Philautus breast who taried no longer then he had leasure to take his leaue either desirous to read his Ladies answer or not willing to enioy Surius his company whom also I will now forsake and followe Philautus to heare howe his minde is quieted with Camillas courtesie Philautus no sooner entred his chamber but he read hir letter which wrought such skirmishes in his minde that he had almost forgot reason falling into the olde vain of his rage in this manner Ah cruell Camilla and accursed Philautus I sée nowe that it fareth with thée as it doth w t the Hare Sea which hauing made one astonied with hir faire sight turneth him into a stone with hir venemous sauor and with me as it doeth with those that view the Basilike whose eyes procure delight to the looker at the first glymse and death at the second glaunce Is this the curtesie of England towards strangers to entreat them so despightfully Is my good will not onely reiected without cause but also disdained with-out coulour I but Philautus praise at thy parting if she had not liked thée she would neuer haue answered thée Knowest thou not that where they loue much they dissemble most that as fayre weather commeth after a foule storme so swéete termes succéede sowre tauntes Assaye once againe Philautus by letters to winne hir loue and follow not the vnkinde hound who leaueth the sent bicause he is rated or the bastarde Spaniell which being once rebuked neuer retriueth his game Let AtlaÌ„ta runne neuer so swiftlye
woulde Fortune had delt so fauourable with a poore Grecian y t hee might haue either béene borne héere or able to liue héere which séeing the one is past and cannot be the other vnlikely and therfore not easie to be I must endure the cruelty of the one and with patience beare the necessitie of the other Yet this I earnestly craue of you all that you wil in steade of a recompence accept thankes and of him that is able to giue nothing take prayer for payment What my good mind is to you all my tongue cannot vtter what my true meaning is your harts cannot conceiue yet as occasion shall serue I will shew y t I haue not forgotten any though I may not requite one Philautus not wyser then I in this though bolder is determined to tarry behinde for he saith that he had as liefe be buried in England as married in Italy so holy doth he thinke y e ground héere or so homely the women there whom although I would gladly haue with me yet séeing I cannot I am most earnestly to request you all not for my sake who ought to desire nothing nor for his sake who is able to deserue little but for the curtesies sake of England that you vse him not so wel as you haue done which would make him proude but no worse then I wishe him which will make him pure for though I speake before his face you shall finde true behinde his backe that he is yet but wax which must be wrought whilest the water is warme and yron which being hot is apt either to make a Keye or a locke It may be Ladies and Gentlewomen all that though England be not for Euphues to dwell in yet it is for Euphues to sende to When he had thus said he could scarce speake for wéeping all the company wer sory to forgoe him some profered him money some lands some houses but he refused them all telling them that not the necessitie of lack caused him to depart but of importance This done they sate downe all to dinner but Euphues could not be merry for that he should so soone depart the feast being ended which was very sumptuous as Merchaunts neuer spare for coste when they haue full Coffers they al hartely tooke their leaues of Euphues Camilla who liked very wel of his company taking him by the hand desired him that bring in Athens he would not forget his friends in England and the rather for your sake quoth she your friend shalbe better welcome yea and to me for his owne sake quoth Flauia wherat Philautus reioyced and Frauncis was not sory who began a little to listen to the lure of loue Euphues hauing all things in a readinesse went immediately toward Douer whether Philautus also accompanied him yet not forgetting by the way to visit y e good olde father Fidus whose curtesie they receiued at their comming Fidus glad to sée them made them great chéere according to his abilitie which had it bin lesse wold haue bene answerable to their desires Much communication they had of the Court but Euphues cryed quittance for he said things that are commonly known it wer folly to repeat and secrets it wer against mine honestie to vtter The next morning they went to Douer wher Euphues being ready to take ship he first tooke his farewel of Philautus in these words PHilautus the care that I haue had of thée from time to time hath ben tryed by the counsaile I haue alwaies giuen thée which if thou haue forgottē I meane no more to write in water if thou remember imprint it stil. But seeing my departure from thée is as it wer my death for that I know not whether euer I shal sée thée take this as my last testament of good will Be humble to thy superiors gentle to thy equalls to thy inferiors fauourable enuie not thy betters iustle not thy fellowes oppresse not the poore The stipend that is allowed to maintein thée vse suisely be neither prodigall to spend all nor couetous to kéepe all cut thy coat according to thy cloath thinke it better to be accompted thriftie among the wise then a good cōpanion among the riotous For thy study or trade of life vse thy booke in the morning thy bowe after dinner or what other exercise shall please thée best but alwayes haue an eye to the maine whatsoeuer thou art chanced at y e buy Let thy practise bée law for the practise of Phisicke is too base for so fine a stomack as thine diuinitie too curious for so fickle a head as thou hast Touching thy proceedings in loue be constant to one trye but one otherwise thou shalt bring thy credite into question and thy loue into derision Wean thy self from Camilla deale wisely with Frauncis for in England thou shalt finde those that wil decipher thy dealings be they neuer so polytique be secret to thy self trust none in matters of loue as thou louest thy life Certifie me of thy procéedings by thy letters thinke that Euphues cannot forget Philautus who is as déere to me as my selfe Commend me to all my friends And so farewell good Philautus and well shalt thou fare if thou followe the counsaile of Euphues PHilautus the water stāding in his eyes not able to answere one word vntil he had well wept replied at the last as it wer in one word saying that his counsel shuld be engrauen in his heart and hée woulde followe euery thing that was prescribed him certifiing him of his successe as eyther occasion or opportunitie shoulde serue But when friendes at departing woulde vtter most then teares hinder moste which brake off both his aunswere and stayde Euphues replye so after manye millions of embracings at the last they departed Philautus to London where I leaue him Euphues to Athens wher I meane to follow him for he it is that I am to goe with not Philautus THer was nothing that happened on the Seas worthy the writing but within few dayes Euphues hauing a merry winde arriued at Athens wher after he had visited his friends set an order in his affaires hée began to addresse his letters to Liuia touching the state of England in this manner LIuia I salute thée in the Lord c. I am at length returned out of England a place in my opinion if any such may be in the earth not inferiour to a Paradise I haue here inclosed sent thée the discription the manners the conditions the gouernment and entertainment of that countrey I haue thought it good to dedicate it to the Ladies of Italy if thou think it worthy as thou canst not otherwise cause it to be imprinted that the praise of such an Isle may cause those that dwel els wher both to commend it and meruaile at it Philautus I haue left behinde me who like an old Dog followeth his olde sent Loue wiser he is then he was wont but as yet nothing more fortunate I am in
as they that diuorced thē wrongfully Fly that vice that is peculiar to all those of thy countrey Ielousie for if thou suspect without cause it is the next way to haue cause women are to be ruled by theyr owne wits for be they chast no golde can winne them if immodest no griefe can amend them so that all mistrust is either néedelesse or bootelesse Be not too imperious ouer hir that wil make hir to hate thée not to submisse that will cause hir to disdaine thée let hir neither be thy slaue nor thy souereine for if she lye vnder thy foot she will neuer loue thée if climbe aboue thy head neuer care for thée the one will bréede thy shame to loue hir so lyttle the other thy griefe to suffer too much In gouerning thy householde vse thine owne eye and hir hand for huswifery consisteth as much in seing things as setlyng things and yet in that goe not aboue thy latchet for Cookes are not to be taught in the Kitchin nor Painters in their shoppes nor Huswiues in their houses let all the keyes hang at hir girdell but the pursse at thine so shalt thou knowe what thou dost spend and how shée can spare Breake nothing of thy stock for as the stone Thyrrenus being whole swimmeth but neuer so little diminished sinketh to the bottom so a man hauing his stock ful is euer a float but wasting of his store becommeth bankerout Enterteine such men as shall be trustie for if thou kéepe a Wolfe with-in thy dores to doe mischiefe or a Foxe to woorke craft and subtiltie thou shalt finde it as perrillous as if in thy barnes thou shouldest mainteyne Myce or in thy groundes Moles Let thy maydens be such as shall séeme readier to take paynes then follow pleasure willinger to dresse vp theyr house then their heads not so fine fingered to call for a Lute when they should vse the distaffe nor so dayntie mouthed that theyr silken throates should swallowe no packthread For thy dyette be not sumptuous nor yet simple For thy attire not costly nor yet clownish but cutting thy coate by thy cloth go no farther then shall become thy estate least thou be thought proude and so enuied nor debase not thy birth least thou be déemed poore so pitied Now thou art come to that honourable estate forget all thy former follyes and debate with thy selfe that here-tofore thou diddest but goe about the world and that nowe thou art come into it that Loue did once make thée to folow ryot that it muste now enforce thée to pursue thrifte that then there was no pleasure to bée compared to the courting of Ladyes that now there can be no delight greater then to haue a wife Commend me humbly to that noble man Surius and to his good Lady Camilla Let my duetie to the Ladie Flauia be remembred and to thy Uiolyt lette nothing that may be added be forgotten Thou wouldest haue me come againe into England I woulde but I can-not But if thou desire to sée Euphues when thou art willing to visite thine Uncle I will méete thée in the meane season know that it is as farre from Athens to England as from England to Athens Thou sayest I am much wished for that many fayre promises are made to mée Truely Philautus I know that a friende in the court is better then a penney in the purse but yet I haue heard that suche a friend cannot be gotten in the court without pence Fayre words fatte fewe great promises without performance delight for the tyme but yerke euer after I cannot but thanke Surius who wisheth me well and all those that at my béeing in England lyked me wel And so with my hartie commendations vntill I heare from thee I bid thée farewell Thine to vse if mariage chaunge not manners Euphues THis Letter dispatched Euphues gaue himselfe to solitarinesse determining to soiourne in some vncouth place vntil time might turne white salt into fine sugar for surely he was both tormented in body and grieued in minde And so I leaue him neither in Athens nor els where that I know But this order he left with his friends that if any newes came or letters that they should direct them to the Mount of Silixsedra where I leaue him eyther to his musing or Muses GEntlemen Euphues is musing in the bottome of the Mountaine Silixsedra Philautus marryed in the Isle of England two friendes parted the one liuing in the delightes of his newe wife the other in contemplation of his olde griefes What Philautus doeth they can imagine that are newly married how Euphues liueth they may gesse that are cruelly martired I commit them both to stande to their owne bargaines for if I should meddle any farther with the mariage of Philatus it might happely make him iealous if with the melancholy of Euphues it might cause him to be cholaricke so the one would take occasion to rub his head fit his hat neuer so close and the other offence to gall his heart be his case neuer so quiet I Gentlewomen am indifferent for it may be that Philautus would not haue his life knowen which he leadeth in mariage nor Euphues his loue descryed which he beginneth in solitarinesse least either the one being too kinde might be thought to doat or the other too constant might be iudged to bée madde But were the trueth knowen I am sure Gentlewomen it would be a hard question among Ladies whether Philautus were a better wooer or a husband whether Euphues were a better louer or a scholler But let the one marke the other I leaue them both to conferre at theyr nexte méeting and committe you to the Almightie FINIS ¶ Imprinted at London by Thomas East for 〈…〉 Cawood dwelling in Paules Churchyard 〈…〉