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A96148 A cure for a cuckold A pleasant comedy, as it hath been several times acted with great applause. Written by John VVebster and VVilliam Rowley. Placere cupio. Webster, John, 1580?-1625?; Rowley, William, 1585?-1642? aut 1661 (1661) Wing W1220; ESTC R230815 41,689 62

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will I or I protest ne're leave thee Eust 'T is a business proper to my self one that concerns no second person Grov How 's that not a friend Less Why is there any such Grov Do you question that what do you take me for Eust I Sir or me 'T is many moneths ago since we betwixt us interchang'd that name and of my part ne're broken Lyon Troth nor mine Raym. If you make question of a Friend I pray Number not me the last in your accomp● That would be crown'd in your opinion first Less You all speak nobly But amongst you all Can such a one be found Raym. Not one amongst us but would be proud to wear the character of noble Friendship In the name of which and of all us here present I intreat expose to us the grief that troubles you Less I shall and briefly If ever Gentleman sunk beneath scandal or his reputation never to be recovered suffered and for want of one whom I may call a Friend then mine is now in danger Raym. I 'le redeem 't though with my lifes dear hazard Eust I pray Sir be to us open breasted Less Then 't is thus There is to be performed a Monamachy-Combat or Duel Time Place and Weapon agreed betwixt us Had it toucht my self and my self onely I had then been happy but I by composition am engag'd to bring with me my Second and he too not as the Law of Combat is to stand aloof and see fair play bring off his Friend but to engage his person both must fight and either of them dangerous Eust Of all things I do not like this fighting Less Now Gentlemen of this so great a courtesie I am at this instant meerly destitute Raym. The time Less By eight a clock to morrow Raym. How unhappily things may fall out I am just at that hour upon some late conceived Discontents to atone me to my father otherwise of all the rest you had commanded me your Second and your Servant Lyon Pray the Place Less Callis-Sands Lyon It once was fatal to a friend of mine and a near kinsman for which I vowed then and deeply too never to see that ground But if it had been elsewhere one of them had before mine been worms-meat Grov What 's the weapon Less Single-sword Grov Of all that you could na●● A thing I never practis'd Had it been Rapier or that and Ponyard where men use rather sleight than force I had been then your Man being young I strained the sinews of my arm since then to me 't was never serviceable Eust In troth Sir had it been a money-matter I could have stood your friend but as for sighting I was ever out at that Exeunt Gallants Enter Bonvile Less Well farewel Gentlemen But where 's the Friend in all this tush she 's wise And knows there 's no such thing beneath the moon I now applaud her judgement Bon. Why how now friend this Discontent which now Is so unseason'd makes me question what I ne're durst doubt before your Love to me Doth it proceed from Envy of my Bliss Which this day crowns me with Or have you been A secret Rival in my happiness And grieve to see me owner of those Joys Which you could wish your own Less Banish such thoughts Or you shall wrong the truest faithful Friendship Man e're could boast of oh mine honor Sir 'T is that which makes me wear this brow of sorrow Were that free from the power of Calumny But pardon me that being now a dying Which is so near to man if part we cannot With pleasant looks Bon. Do but speak the burthen and I protest to take it off from you and lay it on my self Less 'T were a request impudence without blushing could not ask it bears with it such injury Bon. Yet must I know 't Less Receive it then But I intreat you sir not to imagine that I apprehend a thought to further my intent by you from you 't is least suspected 'T was my fortune to entertain a Quarrel with a Gentleman the Field betwixt us challeng'd place and time and these to be performed not without Seconds I have rely'd on many seeming friends but cannot bless my memory with one dares venter in my Quarrel Bon. Is this all Less It is enough to make all temperature Convert to fury Sir my Reputation The life and soul of Honor is at stake In danger to be lost The word of Coward Still printed in the name of Lessingham Bon. Not while there is a Bonvile May I live poor And die despised not having one sad friend To wait upon my Hearse if I survive The ruine of that Honor. Sir the time Less Above all spare me for that once known You 'l cancel this your promise and unsay Your friendly proffer Neither can I blame you Had you confirmed it with a thousand Oathes The Heavens would look with mercy not with justice On your offence should you enfringe 'em all Soon after Sun-rise upon Callis-sands To morrow we should meet now to deferre Time one half hour I should but forfeit all But Sir of all men living this alas Concerns you least For shall I be the man To rob you of this nights felicity And make your Bride a Widow her soft bed No witness of those joys this night expects Bon. I still preferre my friend before my pleasure Which is not lost for ever but adjourned For more mature employment Less Will you go then Bon. I am resolved I will Less And instantly Bon. With all thespeed celerity can make Less You do not weigh those inconveniences this Action meets with Your departure hence will breed a strange distraction in your friends distrust of Love in your fair vertuous Bride whose eyes perhaps may never more be blest with your dear sight since you may meet a grave and that not amongst your noble Ancestors but amongst strangers almost enemies Bon This were enough to shake a weak resolve It moves not me Take horse as secretly As you well may my Groom shall make mine ready With all speed possible unknown to any Enter Annabel Less But Sir the Bride An. Did you not see the Key that 's to unlock my Carckanet and Bracelets Now in troth I am afraid 't is lost Bon. No Sweet I ha 't I found it lye at random in your Chamber and knowing you would miss it laid it by 't is safe I warrant you An. Then my fear 's past but till you give it back my Neck and Arms are still your Prisoners Bon. But you shall finde they have a gentle Jaylor An. So I hope Within y' are much enquired of Bon. Sweet I follow Dover Less Yes that 's the place Bon. If you be there before me hire a Barque I shall not fail to meet you Exeunt Less Was ever known a man so miserably blest as I I have have no sooner found the greatest good man in this pilgrimage of Life can meet but I
have all the world bound to the peace besides the bushes and the phanes of houses every thing that moves he goes in fear of 's life on A furr-gown'd Cat and meet her in the night she stares with a Constables eye upon him and every Dog a Watch-man a black Cowe and a Calf with a white face after her shows like a surly Justice and his Clerk and if the Baby go but to the bag 't is ink and paper for a Mittimus Sure I shall never thrive on 't and it may be I shall need take no care I may be now at my journeys end or but the Goals distance and so to ' th t' other place I trust a woman with a secret worth a hanging is that well I could finde in my heart to run away yet And that were base too to run from a woman I can lay claim to nothing but her Vows and they shall strengthen me Enter Annabel Anna. See sir my promise there 's twenty Pieces the full value I vow of what they cost Roch. Lady do not trap me like a Sumpter-horse and then spur-gall me till I break my winde if the Constable be at the door let his fair staff appear perhaps I may corrupt him with this Gold Anna. Nay then if you-mistrust me Father Gentlemen Mr. Raymond Eustnce Enter all as before and a Saylor Wood. How now what 's the matter Girl Anna. For shame will you bid your Kinsman welcome No one but I will lay a hand on him Leave him alone and all a revelli●● Wood. Oh is that it Welcome welcome heartily I thought the Bridegroom had been return'd But I have news Annabel this fellow brought it Welcome Sir why you tremble methinks Sir Anna. Some agony of anger 't is believe it his entertainment is so cold and feeble Raym. Pray be cheer'd Sir Roch. I 'm wondrous well sir 't was the Gentlemans mistake Wood. 'T was my hand shook belike then you must pardon Age I was stiffer once But as I was saying I should by promise see the Sea to morrow 't is meant for Physick as low as Lee or Margets I have a Vessel riding forth Gentlemen 't is called the God-speed too ●hough I say 't a brave one well and richly fraughted and I can tell you she carries a Letter of Mart in her mouth too and twenty roaring Boys on both sides on her Star-board and Lar-board What say you now to make you all Adventurers you shall have fair dealing that I le promise you Raym. A very good motion sir I begin there 's my ten pieces Eust I second 'em with these Grov My ten in the third place Roch. And Sir if you refuse not a proffet'd love take my ten Pieces with you too Wood. Yours above all the rest Sir Anna. Then make 'em above venter ten more Roch. Alas Lady 't is a younger brothers portion and all in one Bottom Anna. At my encouragement Sir your credit if you want Sir shall not sit down under that sum return'd Eoch With all m● heart Lady There Sir So she has fisht for her Gold back and caught it I am no thief now Wood. I shall make here a pretty Assurance Roch. Sir I shall have a suit to you Wood. You are likely to obtain it then Sir Roch. That I may keep you company to Sea and attend you back I am a little travell'd Wood. And heartily thank you too sir Anna. Why that 's well said Pray you be merry though your Kinsman be absent I am 〈◊〉 the worst part of him yet that shall serve to give you welco●e to morrow may show you what this night will not and be full assured Unless your twenty Pieces be ill ●ent Nothing shall give you cause of Discontent There 's ten more Sir Roch. Why should I fear Fouter o●'t I le be merry now spite of the Hang-man Exeunt Finis Actus secundus ACT 3. SCENE 1. Enter Lessingham and Bonvile Bon. WE are first i' th field I think your Enemy is staid at Dover or some other Port we hear not of his landing Less I am confident he is come over Bon. You look methinks fresh coloured Less Like a red Morning friend that still foretels a stormy day to follow● But methinks now I observe your face that you look pale there 's death in 't already Bon. I could chide your error do you take me for a Coward A Coward is not his own friend much less can he be another mans Know Sir I am come hither to instruct you by my generous example to kill your enemy whose name as yet I never question'd Less Nor dare I name him yet for d●-heartning you Bon. I do begin to doubt the goodness of your Quarrel Less Now you hav 't for I protest that I must fight with one from whom in the whole course of our acquaintance I never did receive the least injury Bon. It may be the forgetful Wine beg●t some sudden blow and thereupon 't is Challenge howe're you are engaged and for my part I will not take your course my unlucky friend to say your Conscience grows pale and heartless maintaining a bad Cause fight as Lawyers plead who gain the best of reputation when they can fetch a bad Cause smoothly off you are in and 〈◊〉 through Less Oh my friend the noblest ever man had when 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 threw me upon this business I made trr●d of divers had p●●●est to me much love and found their friendship like the effects that kept our company together Wine and Riot giddy and sinking I had found 'em oft brave Seconds at pluralities of Healths but when it came to 'th proof my Gentlemen appeared to me as promising and failing as cozening Lotteries but then I found this Jewel worth a thousand Counterfeits I did but name my Engagement and you flew unto my succor with that chearfulness as a great General hastes to a Battel when that the chief of the adverse part is a man glorious but of ample fame you left your Bridal-bed to finde your Death-bed and herein you most nobly exprest that the affection 'tween two loyal friends is far beyond the love of man to woman and is more near allied to eternity What better friends part could be showed i' th world it transcends all My father gave me life but you stand by my honor when 't is falling and nobly under-propt it with your sword But now you have done me all this service how how shall I requite this how return my grateful recompence for all this love For it am I come hither with full purpose to kill you Bon. Ha Less Yes I have no opposite i' th would but your self There read the Warrant for your death Bon. 'T is a womans hand Less And 't is a bad hand too the most of 'em speak fair write foul mean worse Bon. Kill me away you jest Less Such jest as your sharp-witted Gallants use to utter and loose their friends Read there how I am
fettered in a womans proud Command I do Love madly and must do madly deadliest Hellebore or vomit of a To●d is qualified poyson to the malice of a woman Bon. And kill that friend Strange Less You may see Sir although the Tenure by which Land was held in Villenage be quite extinct in England yet you have women there at this day living make a number of slayes Bon. And kill that friend She mocks you upon my life she does Equivocate her meaning is you cherish in your breast either self-love 〈◊〉 pride as your best friend and she wishes you 'd kill that Less Sure her Command is more bloody for she loathes me and has put as she imagines this impossible task for ever to be quit and free from me but such is the violence of my affection that I must undergo it Draw your sword and guard your self though I fight in fury I shall kill you in cold blood for I protest 't is done in heart-sorrow Bon. I le not fight with you for I have much advantage the truth is I wear a privy Coat Less Prithee put it off then if then bee'st manly Bon. The defence I mean is the justice of my Cause that would guard me and fly to thy destruction what confide●●e thou wearest in a bad cause I am likely to kill thee if I fight and then you fail to effect your Mrs. bidding or to enjoy the fruit of 't I have ever wisht thy happiness and vow I now so much affect it in compassion of my friends sorrow make thy way to it Less That were a cruel Murder Bon. Believ 't 't is ne're intended otherwise when 't is a womans bidding Less Oh the necessity of my fate Bon. You shed tears Less And yet must on in my cruel purpose a Judge methinks looks lovelyest when he weeps pronouncing of deaths Sentence how I stagger in my resolve guard thee for I came hither to do and not to suffer wilt not yet be perswaded to defend thee turn the point advance it from the ground above thy head and let it underprop thee otherwise in a bold resistance Bon. Stay Thy injunction was thou shouldst kill thy friend Less It was Bon. Observe me he wrongs me most ought to offend me least and they that study man say of a friend there 's nothing in the world that 's harder found nor sooner lost thou camest to kill thy friend and thou mayest brag thou hast don 't for here for ever all friendship dyes between us and my heart for bringing forth any effects of love shall be as barren to thee as this sand we tread on cruel and inconstant as the Sea that beats upon this Beach We now are severed thus hast thou slain thy friend and satisfied what the Witch thy Mrs. bad thee Go and report that thou hast slain thy friend Less I am served right Bon. And now that I do cease to be thy friend 〈◊〉 will fight with thee as thine enemy I came not over idly to do nothing Less Oh friend Bon. Friend The naming of that word shall be the quarrel What do I know but that thou lovest my wife and f●ind'st this plot to divide me from her 〈◊〉 and that this Letter here is counterfeit Will you advanc● Sir Less Not a blow 't would appear ill in either of us to fight in you unmanly for believe it Sir you have disarmed me already done away all power of resistance in me it would show beastly to do wrong to the dead to me you say you are dead for ever lost on Callis-sands by the cruelty of a woman yet remember you had a noble friend whose love to you shall continue after death shall I go over in the same Barque with you Bon. Not for you town of Callis you know 't is dangerous living at Sea with a dead body Less Oh you mock me may you enjoy all your noble wishes Bon. And may you finde a better friend then I and better keep him Exeunt Enter Nurse Compass and his Wife Nurse Indeed you must pardon me Goodman Compass I have no authority to deliver no not 〈◊〉 let you see the Childe to tell you true I have command unto the contrary Comp. Command From whom Nurse By the father of it Comp. The father Who am I Nurse Not the father sure The Civil Law has found it otherwise Comp. The Civil Law why then the Uncivil Law shall make it mine agen I le be as dreadful as a Shrov●-tuesday to thee I will tear thy Cottage but I will see my Childe Nurse Speak but half so much agen I le call the Constable and lay Burglary to thy charge Wife My good husband be patient And prithee Nurse let him see the Childe Nurse Indeed I dare not the father first delivered me the Childe he pays me well and weekly for my pains and to his use I keep it Comp. Why thou white Bastard-breeder is not this the mother Nurse Yes I grant you that Comp. Dost thou and I grant it too And is not the Childe mine own then by the wifes Coppy-hold Nurse The Law must try that Comp. Law Dost think I le be but a Father in Law all the Law betwixt Black-wall and Tuttle-street and there 's a pretty deal shall not keep it from me mine own flesh and blood who does use to get my children but my self Nurse Nay you must look to that I ne're knew you get any Comp. Never put on a clean Bmock and try me if thou darest three to one I get a Bastard on thee to morrow morning between one and three Nurse I le see thee hangd first Enter Franckford and Luce. Comp. So thou shalt too Nurse Oh here 's the father now pray talk with him Franck. Good morrow Neighbor morrow to you both Comp. Both Morrow to you and your wife too Franck. I would speak calmly with you Comp. I know what belongs to a Calm and a Storm too A cold word with you You have tyed your Mare in my ground Franck. No t was my Nag Comp. I will cut off your Nags tayl and make his rump make Hair-buttons if e're I take him there agen Franck. Well sir but to the Main Comp. Main Yes and I le clip his Main too and crop his ears too do you mark and back gaul him and spur-gaul him do you note And slit his Nose do you smell me now Sir Unbritch his Barrel and discharge his Bullets I le gird him till he stinks you smell me now I 'm sure Franck. You are too rough neighbor to maintain Comp. Maintain you shall not maintain no childe of mine my wife does not bestow her labor to that purpose Franck. You are too speedy I will not maintain Comp. No marry shall you not Franck. The deed to be lawful I have repented it and to the Law given satisfaction my purse has paid for 't Bemp. Your purse 't was my wifes purse You brought in the Coin indeed but it was found base
your friend for my sake Less A most sad truth Clare And your best friend Less My chiefest Clare Then of all men you are most miserable nor have you ought further'd your suit in this though I enjoyn'd you to 't for I had thought that I had been the best esteemed friend you had i' th world Less Ye did not wish I hope that I should have murder'd you Clare You shall perceive more of that hereafter But I pray fit tell me for I do freeze with expectation of it it chills my heart with horror till I know what friends blood you have sacrificed to your fury and to my fatal sport this bloody Riddle who is it you have slain Less Bonvile the Bridegroom Clare Say Oh you have struck him dead thorough my heart in being true to me you have proved in this the falsest Traitor oh I am lost for ever yet wherefore am I lost rather recovered from a deadly witchcraft and upon his grave I will not gather Rue but Violets to bless my wedding strewings good sir tell'me are you certain he is dead Less Never never to be recovered Clare Why now sir I do love you with an entire heart I could dance methinks never did wine or mu●●ch stir in woman a sweerer touch of Mirth I will marry you instantly r●arry you Less This woman has strange changes you are takne strangely with his death Clare I le give the reason I have to be thus extasied with joy know 〈◊〉 that you have slain my deerest friend and faralest enemy Less Most strange Clare 'T is true you have ta'ne a mass of Lead from off my heart for ever would have sunk it in despair when you beheld me yesterday I stood as if a Merchant walking on the Downs should see some goodly Vessel of his own sunk 'fore his face i' th Harbor and my heart retained no more heat then a man that toyles and vain'y labors to put out the flames that burns his house to 'th bottom I will tell you a strange concealement sir and till this minute never revealed and I will tell it now smiling and not blushing I did love that Bonvyle not as I ought but as a woman might that 's beyond reason I did do●t upon him tho he near knew of 't and beholding him before my face wedded unto another and all my interest in him forfeited I fell into despair 〈◊〉 that instant you urging your Suit to me and I thinki●● 〈◊〉 I had been your onely friend i' th world I heartily did wish you would have kill'd that friend your self to have ended all my sorrow and had prepared it that unwittingly you should have don 't by poison Less Strange amazement Clare The effects of a strange Love Less 'T is a dream sure Clare No 't is real sir believe it Less Would it were not Clare ●hat sir you have done bravely 't is your Mistriss that tells you you have done so Less But my Conscience Is of Councel ' gainst you and pleads otherwise Vertue in her past actions glories still But vice throwes loathed looks on former ill But did you love this Bonvile Clare Strangely sir almost to a degree of madness Less Trust a woman never henceforward I will rather trust the winds which Lapland Witches sell to men all that they have is feign'd their teeth their hair their blushes nay their conscience too is feigned let 'em paint load themselves with Clo●h of Tissue they cannot yet hide woman that will appear and disgrace all The necessity of my fate certain this woman has bewitched me here for I cannot chuse but love her Oh how faral this might have proved I would it had for me it would not grieve me tho my sword had split his heart in sunder I had then destroyed o●e that may prove my Rival oh but then what had my horror bin my guilt of conscience I know some do ill at womens bidding i' th Dog-days and repent all the Winter after no I account it treble happiness that Bonvile lives but 't is my chiefest glory that our friendship is divided Clare Noble friend why do you talk to your self Less Should you do so you 'd talk to an ill woman fare you well for ever fare you well I will do somewhat to make as fatal breach and difference in Bonviles love as mine I am fixt in 't my melancholly and the devil shall fashion't Clare You will not leave me thus Less Leave you for ever and may my friends blood whom you loved so deerly for ever lye impostumed in your breast and i' th end choak you Womans cruelty This black and fatal thread hath ever spun It must undo or else it is undone Exit Clare I am every way lost and no meanes to 〈◊〉 ●●e but blest repentance what two unvalued Jewels am I at once deprived of now I suffer deservedly there 's no prosperity settled Fortune plays ever with our good or ill Like Cross and Pile and turns up which she will Enter Bonvile Friend Clare Oh you are the welcomest under heaven ●essingham did but fright me yet I fear that you are hurt to danger Bon. Not a scratch Clare Indeed you look exceeding well methinks Bon. I have bin Sea-sick lately and we count that excellent Physick How does my Annabel● Clare As well sir as the fear of such a loss as your esteemed self will suffer her Bon. Have you seen Lessingham since he returned Clare He departed hence but now and left with me a report had almost kill'd me Bon. What was that Clare That he had kill'd you Bon. So he has Clare You mock me Bon. He has kill'd me for a friend for ever silenc't all 〈◊〉 between us you may now go and embrace him for he has fulfilled the purpose of that Letter Gives her a Letter Clare Oh I know 't She gives him an●ther And had you known this which I meant to have sent you an hour 'fore you mere married to your wife the Riddle had been constr●ed Bon. Strange this expresses that you did love me Clare With a violent affection Bon. Violent indeed for it seems it was your purpose to have ended it in violence on your friend the unfortunate Lessingham unwittingly should have been the Executioner Clare 'T is true Bon. And do you love me still Clare I may easily confess it since my extremity is such that I must needs speak or die Bon. And you would enjoy me though I am married Clare No indeed not I sir you are to sleep with a sweet Bed-fellow would knit the brow at that Bon. Come come a womans telling truth makes amends for her playing false You would en●oy me Clare If you were a Batchelor or Widower Afore all the great Ones living Bon. But 't is impossible to give you present satisfaction for my Wife is young and heal●hful and I like the summer and the harvest of our Love which yet I have not tasted of so well that and you 'l