Selected quad for the lemma: friend_n

Word A	Word B	Word C	Word D	Occurrence	Frequency Band	MI	MI Band	Prominent
friend_n	affection_n	love_n	love_v	2,519	5	6.3625	4	true

Text snippets containing the quad

ID	Title	Author	Corrected Date of Publication (TCP Date of Publication)	STC	Words	Pages
A52250	A sermon preached at the funeral of Mr. Joseph Aleine by George Newton ...	Newton, George, 1602-1681.	1672 (1672)	Wing N1047; ESTC R16860	20,159	39

grief and so row was indeed although she did not understand it and intend it so that Christ was Risen She should have wept over an unbelieving heart that doubted of the Resurrection of her Saviour and not over an empty Grave from which his Body was deliver'd God having loos'd the pains of Death because it was not possible that he should he holden of it Acts 2. 24. I might add other instances but these may satisfie to clear the point That we are very subject to misplace our grief and to mistake the ground and object of our sorrow And there are two especial causes of it viz. Either because our understanding is misled or our Affections are mislaid Reas. 1. Somtimes we are very Subject to misplace our grief because our understanding is misled We do not Judg aright of that which is Indeed the only or the greatest cause of trouble Some apprehend their tears are fitter to be spent on their Afflictions then their sins They see no great hurt in sin but they feel much in Affliction Affliction is a grievous thing to them but corruption is not so There is a principle in Nature which makes a man averse from penal evil but there is none at all that maketh him averse from sinful evil So that a man needs nothing else but Nature to make him sensible of penal evils of Afflictions but he needs more then Nature to make him sensible of sin And h●●●e it is because the greater part of men have nothing else but Nature in them that they are so exceedingly affected with the one and so regardless of the other Now these Affections follow apprehensions as they always do They are mistaken in their judgments and so they misapply their passions They look upon their sins as small matters but they amplifie their troubles and afflictions as he in the Poet I am ten times twenty times an hundred times miserable And hence they weep for their Afflictions and will not be comforted while they have not a tear to spend upon their sins And this in probability was Israels case Jer. 30. 15. They were extreamly troubled at the miseries that were upon them but they were little troubl'd at their sins They cry'd because of their Afflictions they did not only sigh and mourn and grieve and weep but more then so they cry'd aloud which shews extemity of sorrow But we hear nothing of any sorrow sor their sins And therefore God comes in and interrupts them why what 's the matter with you can you tell why you take on in this fashion Why criest thou for thine affliction thy sorrow is inourable for the mulitude of thine Iniquity because thy sins are increased And so for penal evils they mistake there too They think that temporal Judgments are greater and heavier then spiritual Judgments They take the bodily plague to be worse then the plague of the heart a famine of corn then the famine of the word and so they grieve more for the one then for they other and they had rather lose their Saviour then their Hogs That is the first reason then why we misplace our grief Because our understanding is misled 2. The second is Because our Affection is mislaid I mean our love For love is the commander of our other passions It is the first and great wheel of the soul that carries all the rest about and governs them as it pleaseth Love is the strongest of the passions and Affections and therefore all the rest yield to it and are greatly sway'd by it And by this means it comes to pass that if we misplace our Love we are in danger to misplace our sorrow For we shall surely grieve for that most which we love best whether it be best or not Oh what a deal of vain unnecessary sorrow do many throw themselves into by misapplying this Affection Their love is settled where it should not be or it is stronger then it ought to be to such a friend to such a comfort to such a relation and when they find a disappointment by the removall or the chang of that which they have set their hearts too much upon their grief is answerable to their love Strong affections especially when they miscarry in the object of them do cast men into strong Afflictions Oh how was David overcome with the death of Absalom though yet indeed the cutting of him off was a great and signal mercy to himself and to his people And therefore Joab even rates him for it 2 Sam. 19. 5. and following verses Saith he Thou hast sham'd this day the faces of all thy servants who have sav'd thy life and the life of thy Sons and of thy Daughters and thy Wves Since thou hast lov'd thine Enemies and hated thy Friends and hast declar'd this day that thou regardest neither Princes nor Servants And I perceive that if Absalom had lived and all we had died this day it would have pleased theewell You see the reason of his immoderate overflowing sorrow for him was his inordinate Affection to him Which was so out of measure great that when he heard the news his passion wrought and he was hasting to a room to give it vent But alas he cannot hold till he come thither but discharges at the stayrs as he is going up 2 Sam. 18. 33. He wept as he went and said O my Son Absalom my Son my Son Absalom would God I had died for thee O Absalom my Son my Son You see then both that and why we are so ready to misplace our grief and to misapply our sorrow Use. The application of the point shall be for Caution and Direction both together To watch our hearts against it that so we lay not out our tears amiss Be circumspect that you do not misplace your grief and that you do not mistake the ground and object of your sorrow like these poor Daughters of Jerusalem who wept where they should not and wept not where they should Oh what a deal of grief do some men waste away when there is no cause at all How do many men take on when they are crost in prosecution of their lusts and hindred in their sins which is indeed a great mercy Oh what floods of tears do some men pour out upon a petty slight occasion at a trifling accident Beloved tears if they be shed aright are precious things God puts them up into his Bottle as if they were of great value And yet some lay them out on nothing How will they weep and grieve at any disappointment in their small affairs any miscarriage in their business any little petty loss any unkindness from their friends or neighbours any affront or provocation in the least degree nay if they be but crossed of their wills though it be best indeed they should All their sorrow is bestowed on little trifling inconsiderable things Why my beloved have ye not other manner of things then these to grieve for what think you of your own

are come If God carry you aside into a Wilderness and strip you naked there of any mercy as if he meant to Iash you to the purpose your ways and your doings have procured you these things such is your wickedness Believe it you have sinned some way or other against the mercy which the Lord takes from you They are our sins against the Ordinances of the Lord that cause the Lord to take away our Ordinances from us They are our sins against the Ministers of Christ in that capacity as Ministers that provoke him to remove our Ministers from us Yea many times to take away the Candlestick and Light together You may take up the Lamentation of the Church this day The Crown is faln from our heads wo to us for we have sinned They are our sins that Weaken and impair and kill our Ministers who are indeed the Churches Crown and the glory of Christ. Sometimes we overvalue them and then we kill them with kindness Sometimes we undervalue them and then we kill them with neglect and make them do their work with grief Sometimes we are untractable and unthankful and unfruitful and God calls away his workmen out of the Vineyard that will yield no better fruit Nay sometimes we decline and grow remiss and cold and flat we lose our love to God and Christ and then he takes away our Beloved comforts from us And let me tell you some of you have backslidden grievously and sonsibly abated of your former zeal and holiness and strictness in the ways of God Yea sinned scandalously to the dishonour of Religion and the Gospel This greived our dear Brother who will grieve no more now I had it from his mouth and pen how tenderly he took some late miscarriages and how near they went to him These things brought him low among you who was low enough before and made him to bewail many who have manifestly sinned and have not repented as the Apostle speaks 2 Cor. 12. 21. Oh how it wounded him after so many labours and so many sufferings for your establishment and confirmation to see such declinations and backslidings He might have said with the Apostle 1 Thess. 3. 8. Now I live if you stand fast in the Lord If not I die and dead he is Oh my dear friends what have your sins done what hath your barrenness and your unfruitfulness and your Backsliding done I know you lov'd him with a very high affection and have made it to appear in many outward declarations to your great praise But the best way to shew your love to the true Ministers of Christ who seek not yours but you who seek not profit and applause but Fruit is to bear their just reproofs and to be amended by them to hear and obey them in their regular directions to follow all their good Examples for the Ministers of Christ are Samplers to the flock Samplers must be wrought after And in a word to bring them in the return of all their labours in holiness and holy walking that they may see the travel of their souls and be satisfied Nothing but this will satisfie them and make them do their work with Joy I know you lov'd him as there was cause enough you should but say in truth have you Improv'd him I am assur'd that many of you a considerable number have Improv'd him to the utmost of your power That you have made the most you could of his indefagatible and incessant pains among you That you have gather'd up the very Fragments of the Bread of life and pik'd up the very Crums that nothing might be lost That you have eyed his exemplary Conversation and walked according to your pattern And this I make no question is no small comfort to you in this doleful day But have you all done this Are there no secret Stitches at the hearts of any of you upon this consideration He spent his strength indeed among you he wasted and consumed himself that you might flourish But tell me have there been answerable fruits among you of holiness and obedience when he fed you have you prosper'd he got a poor lean wither'd Body that you might have fat Souls And are you all fat and well likeing Oh what lean souls have some of you who have attended on his Ministry even to his dying day How hath your rich and fat pasture been cast away upon you So that our Brother might have said in reference to many as the Prophet did I have spent my strength in vain However he is glorious with his God But I am very much afraid that many of you will find this holy Witness who is now ascended Witnessing against you when the day of trial comes Dear friends Be not offended if I tell you that your sins have had a stroke in the sickness and the weakness and the death of your deservedly beloved Minister They were our sins that killed Christ he was bruised for our iniquities and broken for our sins He bare our sins in his Body on the Tree And so they are our sins that kill the Ministers of Christ. You have often seen your Saviour slain before you by and for your sins Now you have seen a holy Minister of his slain by the same hands And yet your sins have still to do more such work and the Lord knows where it will end There is no Execution done upon them who have done such dreadfull Execution in our view Oh let your hearts break and your tears run down till your lusts be broken mortified and destroyed or else they will break you and destroy you If you have any love to Christ to the Ministers of Christ or to your selves you may see cause enough to weep though not for our deceased Brother yet for your selves and for your sins That 's the first thing then weep for the sins that you have done 2. For the Judgments that now you may be like to suffer To this our Saviour referth in the Text Weep for your selves and for your children That is for the extremity of wrath and deletery vengeance that is about to come on you and them Even so say I to you my Brethren with the Apostle James 5. 1. Go to now weep and howl for your miseris that shall come upon you Oh let not that complaint of the Prophet Isaiah 57. 1. be renewed against you The Righteous perisheth and no man layeth it to heart and merciful men are taken away none considering that the Righteous is taken away from the evil to come Our dear Brother now deceased was a Righteous man yea a Preacher of Righteousness The Lord you see hath taken him away oh what evil is to come When such as he are hous'd what dreadful stormes may there be like to fall Brethren the holy Ministers of God are the peoples life-guard The Chariots of Israel and the Horsmen thereof 2 Kings 13. 14. They are anointed Cherubs that Cover They are a Shelter and a Covering from the