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friend_n affection_n love_n love_v 2,519 5 6.3625 4 true
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ID Title Author Corrected Date of Publication (TCP Date of Publication) STC Words Pages
A16754 I pray you be not angry, for I will make you merry a pleasant and merry dialogue, betweene two trauellers, as they met on the high-way Breton, Nicholas, 1545?-1626? 1624 (1624) STC 3662; ESTC S116183 13,062 16

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consening my selfe with an imagination that seruice was an heritage where I found nothing but losse of time repentance Haue I not cause thinke you with all this to be Angry Fab. And yet I say I pray you be not Angry For if you had so much of the grace of God as to make you rather leaue the hope of preferment then yeeld to an ill imployment no doubt but either your priuate life will finde some secret contentment or your patience will finde somewhere aduancement of your vertues and therefore rather be ioyfull of Gods blessing then impatient with your fortune and thinke not amisse that I say I pray you be not Angry But to requite you Say that I hauing more money in my purse then a wise man would part with but vpon the better reckoning should be perswaded to play the vsurer and so with little reward to make my money multiply by the cunning working of a cunny catching Knaue I should be brought in hope of gaine to take in pawne for my mony some lease of a good farme or péece of rich plate which being not fetche by the day of payment would returne mee more then double my money put my money out of my hands which I haue fared full hard to get together and I at the day glad of my forfeit hoping to gaine more then a good conscience would away withall finde my lease not worth a point by a former deede of gift or such a conueiance as carrieth all away from my fingers and leaue me for all my cunning in the Law to pleade repentance to my folly or my plate challenged for some peece of pilferie and I brought to trouble for I know not what and to get out I know not how till I haue brought my stocke to a poore state where I may sée the iust reward of vsury when I looke in my purse and find nothing Would not this make one Angry Fern. Not a whit for knaues will bee knaues and fooles must bee bitten ere they will be wise of which if you be none no doubt but there are enough in the world And since all the Anger in the world will not recouer a penny losse let me say to you as you say to me I pray be not Angry And let me tell you that vpon a time it was my hap to haue a friend as I thought whom I loued dearely and building vpon the care of his conscience that for a world of wealth he would not play the Iew with mee it fell out that I hauing more then a moneths minde to a wench aboue a yeare old whose worthinesse euery way might command a farre better seruant then my selfe and yet it had so fallen out betwixt vs that our affections were so setled that I thought without death there could be no remoue and therefore fearing no fortune relying so much vpon her loue louing as I said my imagined friend more then a wise man should do for there is a measure to be kept in all things made him acquainted with my secrecie touching the intent to steale away my Mistris from the place where she had no pleasure to be kept in as she had béene long like a chicken in a coope and to the performing of this purpose hoping to haue vse of his best helpe deliuer him a ring or a iewell of some value to present vnto my loue when I know his meanes better then mine owne to haue accesse vnto her without suspition and he after a world of protestations sealed with too many oathes to deale so faithfully carefully and secretly for me as my heart could desire when faith there was none nor care of me nor secrecy but in kéeping all from me when like a dissembling Iew be vseth my iewell for a meane to rob me of my better iewell when he presented it as from himselfe and reuealing some matter of secrecie betwixt vs vnpleasing to her and nothing to my profit with inchanting tearmes winnes her affection and borroweth my money to cut my throate till hauing carried away my mistris he either laugh at me or write me a letter of excuse to collogue with mee When I thinke how with trusting a Knaue I haue played the foole in conscience say if euer man would fall out with himselfe haue not I cause to be angry Fab. No for as you said to me Knaues will be Knaues and in matters of loue he that will not be the follower of his owne cause may hap to bee ouerthrowne in his owne suite and to looke for constancy in a woman especially of yong yeares when bribes and gifts are able to worke great matters in those courses it is a meere folly for say that some are I know not how many as constant as Penelope yet let Danac take heede of a golden shower in her lap and therefore I pray you be not angry For let me tell you to be deceiued by a friend it is an ordinary matter to loose a wench it is a thousand mens fortune and therefore since she was so fickle to trust to think her better lost then found and for him get your golden iewels your money from him and let him walke with his wicked household-stuffe and let me tell you of a discontentment of minde It was my hap I may say my ill hap to cast my affection of late vpon a very proper young man of a pure complection neither effeminate nor course faced neither of lethersellers nor painters company but a good feature and well coloured and for his countenance neither Paules-steeple height nor with the fall of the tide but carried in so good a measure as shewed his wits no more out of order then his members for his hoyce neither Treble nor Base but a good meane and his speech neither Rhetoricall nor Logicall nor Tragicall nor Colasticall but such as neither too litle nor too much answering directly to euery question and speaking necessarily vpon good occassion wan him such commendation for his discretion as increasing much my affection made mee as I thought vpon good iudgement make him a great subiect of my contentment in briefe I singled him out of company to make him my companion tooke him into my house bestowed bountifully vpon him let him not want any thing that was néedfull for him my table to dine at a faire chamber for his lodging yea sometime made him my bedfellow furnished him with money horse apparell bookes and credit for whatsoeuer he would demaund yea and in mine absence trusted him with the gouernment of my whole house till my fauour b●ed in his folly that at the first I saw not such a presumption of his owne worthinesse as I liked not when controulling euen my selfe for a trifle himselfe to blame in the selfe same nature for a greater matter thinking all too little that was done for him and vrging more then was méete for him at last not able to suppresse the veneme of his pride till his hart made his head swell as bigge as a cods-head in recompence of all my kindnesse playe● false with my seruant maide steales away my eldest daughter robs my cofers troubles my conscience crackes my credit befooles my wit and doth what hee may to seeke the ruine of my state Is it possible that a man could thinke of such a villaine and not be Angrie Fern. Yea very well and I say vnto you I pray you be not Angry For still Knaues will be Knaues and a man had neede eate a bushell of salt with a man before he grow too farre to trust him for hee was a worlding and out of the simplicitie of your honesty thinking him to be bee that he was not might learne him to trust his like or any at all at least with your house your daughter if you haue any or your seruants if you keepe any and hauing patience with your lacke of iudgement doe for your daughter as you haue cause in nature and reason and pray in charitie for his soule what euer become of his carkasse and since I hope you will take this for no ill councell I say as I did I pray you be not Angrie FINIS
for better or worse when shée cannot well be worse and will be no better must hold out his life worse then ten deaths with her Say your selfe that when a man thinkes of this misery it would fret him to the very heart But where is the remedy Fab. Oh! I pray you be not angry For if a man should haue a Sister whome hée Loueth Deacely whose Beauty with Vertue were a Dowry for a Prince her Linage Noble her Personage comly her nature kind and her gouernment so discréet that by the iudgement of the wife we was a match for the worthy to sée this blessed creature by the crueltie of the Fates bestowed vpon the bastard sonne of a Begger whose Father was a billaine his Mother a soole and he a Changeling whose eyes were thrée foote out of his head his nose too long for his month and his skinne to wide for his face his heade like a high-way with a little heath on either side and his beard bending to the Ale-house from thence came the originall of his little honor and for his vnder proportion an answering to the upper parts whose wit was onely practised in villanie whose hart studied but Hell while his soule was sworn seruant to the Deuill and yet this rascall Viper shall onely with his golden I lawes créepe into the hands for in the heart hée could neuer of a pretty Wench and carry her a way into such a world of discontentments that shée could neuer leaue sorrowing till shée had got into her graue Would it not fret such a Brother as had such a Sister or chafe such a Louer as had such a Loue to sée such an ouerthrow of his comfort or confusion of his kind hope Fern. Oh! I Pray you be not Angrie For Marriage and Hanging some say goe by destinte and although Hanging is but a short paine and marriage is a lingring misery where disagreement is a deadly life yet since wee cannot goe against the will of the higher powers Patience is a playster that will in time drawe a mans heart out of his belly except hée haue more wit to gouerne his passion But leauing loue toyes let me tell you that if a man finding by some old writings in his mothers chest that his Father had Title to a peece of Land which for want of a good purse he durst neuer make challenge to it and say that I were the man and I by the witnesse of my honest ancient neighbours can approue it in good conscience to be mine owne in right of Law and thereupon asking counsell and paying for words by waight and by my learned councell perswaded that it is mine past all plea. And thus playing with my Nose or rather with my purse till all be spent with Demurrs tricks he drines me to beggery with suing for mine owne right while he goes gay with my money and I starne with his words a vengance vpon his craftie conueyance Would not this fret a mans soule to thinke on it and cannot helpe it Fab. Now God forbid I pray you be not Angry for Law was ordalued for the best and though in all professions some are too blame yet no doubt but some haue such consciences that they would not be corrupted for a kingdome but Courts must haue their fees and Schollers must not study for nothing But for that I am no good Lawyer nor euer met with any bribes I haue nothing to say to them but wish the wicked their reward while the honest may take héede by their example so leauing them all to the day of their death I will tell you of another matter Say that I had a friend at least as I take him louing him so dearely that I durst nay I doe trust him with all that I am worth and being to take a voyage either vpon command or commodity fearing some ill courses to be taken for my children if I should die knowing women generally so sorrowfull for a lost husband that they will not tarry long for a new and what fathers in law be to orphants while widdowes sigh say nothing hauing in trust to my friend made a secret déed of gift of all my estate vnto him the rather that my wife and children may fare the better and now I haue escaped many dangers by sea and land and spoyled of all that I had with me come home hoping to finde comfort yet at my owne house with that I left behinde me and there no sooner entred in at the gate but with a coy looke and a cold welcome I find my wife either turned out of doores or so badly vsed within that she could well wish to be without then if I take it vnkindly be bidden mend it as I can and so with a frowne or a frumpe almost thrust out of doores be constrained to goe to Law for mine owne liuing while my mistaken friend hauing turned Turke cares for nothing but his owne commodity contrary to all conscience playes with me for my owne money till the Lawyer and he together haue wonne me quite out of mine owne land and so play me the Traytor with my trust leaue me in the misery of my fortune to end my vnhappy dayes Now can you say to this I pray you be not Angry Fern. Yes very well for since you see no remedy but God is such a God in the world as makes the deuil work many wonders among men is it not better with patience to indure a crosse thou to crucifie the soule with impatience But say that you should haue a wife that you thought did loue you well when shee would stroke your beard and neuer lie from your lippes and would speake you as faire as Eue did Adam when shée cousned him with an Apple would not abide an Oath for a bushell of Gold and be so sparing of her purse that shée would not loose the dropping of her nose bridle it in her countenance like a Mare that were knapping on a Cow-thistle would weare no ruffes but of the smal set though of the sluect Lawne that might be gotten and edged with a Lace of the best fashion would not abide no imbrodery in her apparell yet haue the best stuffe shée could lay her hands on and feede sparingly at dinner when shée had broke her fast in the bed and missed not a Sermon though shée profited little by the word This dissembling péece of flesh making a shew of lamentation cut of the aboundance of her little loue for lacko of your good company if you were but a mile out of the Towne if you were to take a iourney would lay an Onion to her eies to draw out the Rhewme instéed of teares hauing eaten an apple with pinching in a backward wind send out a belching sigh for sorrow of the absence of her Goose-man and then after all these and a world of other tricks to bring a man in a bad beléefe of her good minde if you returning