never so able to advance all his Friends and Acquaintance We see Scipio had interest enough to make P. Rutilius Consul but he could not serve his Brother Lucius upon the same occasion Nay tho' we can do never so much for a Friend yet as I said before we must consider whether he is fit for such or such an Employment There is no true Judgment to be made of our Friendships till they are confirm'd by length of time and maturity of understanding If in our Youth we had a Love for the Companions of our Recreations this does not oblige us to contract a strict Friendship with them in our riper Years for at that rate our Nurses and Tutors might justly challenge the largest share in our Affection Now tho' these are not to be slighted yet they are to esteem'd after another manner than our Friends whom otherwise we can never preserve long Different Manners create different Minds and consequently dissolve Friendship And the only Reason why Good Men can never Love those that are Bad is because there is the widest difference imaginable in their Minds and Manners 'T is a good Rule in Friendship to take care lest the Intemperance and Extravagance of our Affection should hinder the Occasions of our Friends or prejudice their Interest For to return to Story Neoptolemus had never taken Troy if he had hearken'd to his Father-in-Law Lycomedes who had the Education of Him and strove with many Tears to stop his Journy Sometimes there will fall out pressing occasions that must necessarily divide Friends which he that goes about to obstruct because he can't bear a Friend's absence shows a weak impotent and unreasonable Friendship Therefore we must always consider what we ought to ask of our Friends as well as what we ought to grant them Sometimes there falls out an unhappy necessity of a final Separation between Friends For my Discourse descends now from the Friendship of the Wiser Sort to that of the Vulgar For Instance Suppose a Friend of ours has done some great injury to a third Person and that the Infamy of it is likely to extend to all that hold any Familiarity or Correspondence with him In this case we must let our Friendship cool by degrees and discontinuance of Conversation and as Cato us'd to say rather unty it gently than break it off abruptly unless some intolerable enormity breaks out so that we cannot with any appearance of Justice or Honesty avoid an immediate Separation Where we find an alteration in the Manners and Inclinations of our Friend which often happens or a difference between their Sentiments and ours in matters of Government for as I told you I am not now speaking of a Philosophical Friendship but of that which is more ordinary There I say we must take heed lest instead of laying down our Friendship fairly we take up a mortal Enmity for nothing can be worse than to own an open Quarrel where one has formerly us'd a Familiarity You see Scipio withdrew from Q. Pompeius's Friendship upon my account and left off all Familiarity with my Collegue Metellus because he was disaffected to the State In both he us'd that Wisdom and Moderation as to discover a Resentment free from Passion Therefore it must be our first care to have no variance between our Friends and our selves and where such a misfortune happens to use that Temper in our demeanor towards them that our Friendship may rather seem to dye of it self than to suffer any Violence from us We must take heed lest of intimate Friends we become Irreconcilable Enemies For this is commonly the occasion of Quarrels Reproaches and Railings which if they are by any means tolerable must be born with and we ought to have so much regard for our former Friendship that he that does the Injury may be more to blame than he that receives it Against all these Errors and Inconveniences there is but one caution and remedy and that is not to begin our Friendship too soon nor to misplace it upon such as do not deserve it Now those are to be look'd upon as most deserving in whom we find such good Qualities as seem to command our Affection This sort of Men as every thing that is excellent is hard to be met with and 't is very difficult to find any thing that is every way Perfect in it's kind There are a great many that will allow nothing to be Good but what is Profitable and value their Friends as Grasiers do their Cattel accordingly as they think they will turn to account Such as these want that generous and most natural Friendship which is to be desir'd of it self and for it self and never understood by any experience upon themselves how great the force and efficacy of Friendship is For a Man loves himself not because he expects any reward or return of his own Affection from himself but because every one is naturally dear to himself Now he that does not find he stands thus affected towards another can never be a true Friend for a Friend is one's other Self And since 't is evident in Birds Beasts and Fishes and all Creatures Wild or Tame First how they love themselves for this affection is born with them and next how naturally they apply themselves to others of their own kind and that with a strange tenderness and emulation as it were of Human Love we must certainly conclude that these Inclinations are much more strongly imprinted in the Heart of Man and that 't is Natural for him to Love himself and to seek some other with whom he may so mingle Souls as to unite Two into One. Yet some Ill-natur'd not to say impudent Men would have their Friends be such as they can never be themselves and expect that from them which was never done by themselves 'T is therefore necessary in the first place that the Man who would be a Friend should be a Good Man and next that he should find and fix upon one of his own disposition for then it is that the Friendship I mention'd is throughly establish'd when two Men equally affected to one another have so entirely master'd those Appetites to which the greatest part of Mankind is enslaved as to find a Pleasure in Vertue and Integrity and to delight in the mutual performance of all friendly Offices neither party desiring any thing from the other but what is fair and honest and Both having a Regard as well as a Love for each other For he that would separate Modesty from Friendship will Rob it of it's greatest Ornament 'T is a great Heresy in Friendship to think that it gives any encouragement to a loose and licentious Life For certainly a Friend was design'd by Nature for an Assistant to Vertue not for a Companion in Vice that because a solitary Vertue would be helpless and unable of her self to reach that degree of Perfection which she aims at she might be enabled by the assistance of some
that These were Wise Men but they won't do that They 'll deny this to any one that is not their Wise Man Then let us speak a plain Truth in plain English They whose Life and Conversation is such that their Honesty Integrity Justice and Goodness are generally approv'd They that are neither Covetous Lustful nor Bold and have but that Principle of Honor that was in the Persons I just now mention'd they I think are and ought to be accounted Good Men Who as far as Man can go follow the Dictates of Nature the best and surest Guide For methinks 't is Natural to all Mankind to maintain a mutual Society especially where there is a Relation thus we find that our Country men are dearer to us than Foreigners and our Kinsmen than Strangers For Nature seems to have planted in us a kind of regard and tenderness for the former But these are not always sufficient tyes upon our Affections For there is this difference between Affinity and Friendship that the first may subsist without Love whereas the last cannot take away Love and the very Name of Friendship is gone tho' that of Affinity shall remain How great the power of Friendship is we may gather from hence that of all the numerous and different Societies which Nature has appointed among Men This alone is contracted into so narrow a compass that Love is always limited to Two or very few Persons Now Friendship is an unanimous consent of Opinions in all Matters relating to Religion or Civil Affairs with all Love and Kindness Which next to Wisdom I hold to be the greatest Blessing that the immortal Gods ever bestow'd upon Man Others may prefer Riches Health Power Honor and Pleasure which indeed is the highest Bliss that Beasts are capable of attaining but these are frail and fleeting Enjoyments whose possession lays not so much in our own power as in the arbitrary disposal of Fortune They that place the Supreme Good in Vertue are most in the right but in the mean time 't is this very Vertue that creates and maintains Friendship for there can be no such thing as a Friend without it Let us now measure Vertue by the common Rules of Life and Conversation not like some of our modern Virtuosi by lofty Expressions let us call them Good Men who have always been reputed so such as Paulus Cato Gallus Scipio and Philus who are the best Patterns to live by and not seek after Others who are never to be found Among these Men there were more and stronger engagements of Affection than I am able to number or express First then How can Life live as Ennius has it without an acquiescence in the mutual Love of some Friend What is happier than to have a Companion whom one may trust as one's self Where were the pleasures and enjoyments of Prosperity without a Friend who shall rejoice for them as if they were his own How hard is it to undergo the burden of Adversity without one that shall take the greatest share upon himself All other things that are desirable to Man are proper only for one end or occasion Riches serve for Vse Power for Respect Honour for Praise Pleasures for Delight Health for Ease and Business but Friendship is suitable to every occasion wherever you go it follows you it is neither to be excluded from any Place nor unseasonable or troublesom at any Time so that we have not more frequent occasion as they say for Fire Air and Water than we have for Friendship I am not now speaking of the common and ordinary Friendship tho' that too is not without it's Pleasure and Use but of that which is more refin'd and perfect That I mean which was between those few Persons I have mention'd Such Friendship as this is an Ornament to Prosperity and a Support and Comfort in Adversity But amongst all the Conveniences of Friendship which are many and great I hold this to be the greatest that in the lowest ebb of Fortune it still bears up with chearful hopes of a better condition never suffering the Mind to despond or be cast down He that looks upon his Friend sees Himself as in a Glass so that Absence cannot divide them Want impoverish them Sickness weaken them nor which is stranger Death kill them such esteem and honor for his Memory does a Man leave behind him to his surviving Friend that the Life of the One is glorious and the Death of the Other happy Take away mutual Love from among Men and you will find that neither Cities nor Families will stand nay not so much as Agriculture will last If this does not serve to convince you of the efficacy of Friendship and Concord you may learn to value it from the fatal consequences of Dissention and Discord What Family is so strongly Allied what City so well Fortifi'd that it cannot be utterly destroy'd by Factions and Animosities From hence by the Rule of Contraries we may easily gather the many benefits that arise from Friendship A certain Philosopher * Empedocles Vid. Sext. Empiric adv Mathem lib. 8. of Agrigentum is reported to say in Greek Verse That all things in Nature and in the Universe whether they be fix'd or moveable are kept together by Friendship or divided by Discord the Truth of this Sentence is evident to every Man from his own Experience What Acclamations were there in the Theatre t'other day when in my Friend Pacuvius's new Play the King not knowing which of the two Strangers was Orestes Pylades avouch'd himself to be Orestes that he might die for his Friend and Orestes protested himself to be what he really was the true Orestes Now if the bare Representation of a Story was so generally applauded by the Audience what do you think they would have done if it had been Matter of Fact Here Nature plainly shews her power when Men own that to be well done in another which they would not do themselves Thus have I as well as I could declar'd my Sentiments of Friendship If any thing more remains to be said as I believe there is much you must expect it from those who handle this Subject more at large FANNIUS But we had rather expect it from You for tho' I have frequently desired it from others and heard them with some satisfaction yet we know You have another way of Delivering your self upon all occasions SCAEVOLA You would say so indeed Fannius had you been present at the Debare which was held about the Republick in Scipio's Garden to hear how bravely he desended Justice against the subtle Objections of Philus FANNIUS 'T was easie for so Just a Person to speak for Justice SCAEVOLA Then sure it must be as easie for him to discourse of Friendship whose chief glory it is that he has with all the strictest Methods of Truth Constancy and Justice observ'd its Rules and Precepts LAELIUS Nay now ye lay a Force upon me no matter by what Arguments 't is
can escape the nicety of their Distinctions They forsooth will tell us that we must not be over-stock'd with Friends for that 's the way to involve one Man in the Cares of a Multitude who at the same time has enow and it may be too many of his own That 't is troublesom to have too great an Interest in other Mens Concerns and more convenient to have the Knot of Friendship as slight and as loose as we can that upon occasion we may streighten or slacken it as we see fit That Quiet is the readiest Means to obtain Happiness which the mind can never enjoy if it must be in continual labour for the Fortunes of so many several Men. Others they say are of a more selfish Opinion which I have hinted at already that Friendship was to be desir'd for Convenience and Interest not for Love and Affection And therefore the more helpless a Man is the more reason he has to seek a Friend from hence say they it comes to pass that Women rather than Men the Poor rather than the Rich the Distressed rather than the Happy fly to Friendship as a Sanctuary Brave Wisdom indeed They may as well rob the World of the Sun as Human Life of Friendship the best and happiest Gift of Heaven But what is that Quiet they talk of which in appearance may be pleasant but is really to be avoided in most cases Would any Man in his Wits excuse himself from undertaking an honorable Action or Employment or lay it down when he has undertaken it merely because there is some trouble in the performance of it He that would avoid all Care must by the same Rule avoid Vertue which cannot without some difficulty reject and hate it's contrary as Good does Evil Temperance Lust or Courage Cowardice Thus you see Vertuous Men have the strongest aversion for those that are Vitious the Valiant for those that are Fearful and the Sober for those that are Lewd 'T is therefore essential to a well govern'd Mind to delight in all that is Good and to be offended at all that is otherwise Now since Trouble will sometimes befal the wisest Man which it must necessarily do unless we can suppose him devested of all Humanity I see no reason why we should banish Friendship from our Life because it may give us a little trouble Take but away the Affections of the Soul and tell me what difference there is I will not say between a Beast and a Man but between a Man and a Stone a Stock or any senssess thing We must not hearken to those that will make Vertue so hard and cruel a Mistress which in all things is easy and gentle especially in Friendship where she allows us a well to share the Comforts of our Friend's Prosperity as the Sorrows of his Adversity Therefore Friendship is not to be laid aside because some trouble must be undergon for a Friend no more than Vertue is to be neglected because it is attended with some difficulties Now Vertue being as I told you the very Cement of Affection when That appears so eminently in one Man as to create in another of the like disposition a desire of being joyn'd to him when I say this happens an Amity must necessarily follow And methinks 't is strange that Men should take so much Pleasure in the Vanities and Superfluities of Life as Honor Grandeur Building Dressing and Beautifying the Body and yet find no delight in a Mind enrich'd with Vertue that knows where to bestow and how to return Affection For certainly nothing can be more Charming than a Correspondence of Kindness and a mutual intercourse of friendly Offices Now if we add what we justly may that Likeness is so attractive of Friendship as nothing more 't will easily be granted that Vertuous Men love such as are Vertuous and delight to associate with them as if there were already some Alliance in Nature and Affinity in Blood For nothing is more desirous and I may say greedy of it's Like than Nature And now Fannius and Scoevola I hope I have demonstrated the necessity of a good Will between good Men which is the natural spring of Friendship But this Goodness is of a large extent For Vertue is not so selfish insociable or proud but that she is equally communicative of her Benefits to every particular and active for the publick Good which would never be had she not an universal kindness for all Therefore they that make Interest an inducement to Friendship seem to me to loosen it's most amiable Tye for 't is not so much the Advantages we receive from a Friend as the Love he has for us that ought to be valued and then it is that a good turn is most acceptable when it comes with a good will Now 't is so far from being true that Friendship proceeds from Necessity that they who abound most in the possession of Riches and Vertue which of all things has least need of any outward assistance are generally the most liberal and readiest to oblige Yet I question whether 't is always necessary that nothing should be wanting between Friends For if Scipio had never stood in need of my Service Advice or Assistance neither at home nor abroad what proofs had their been of our mutual Affection Therefore Convenience and Interest ought not to be the causes but the consequences of Friendship We must not give ear to those Worldlings who entertain such notions of Friendship as are grounded neither upon their knowledge nor their experience For God knows what Man living would purchase the greatest Wealth and Plenty in the World at so dear a rate as not to Love the rest of Mankind nor to be belov'd by them This were to live the Life of a Tyrant destitute of the least assurance of Kindness or common good Will and so full of Jealousies and Distrusts that there is no room for Friendship For who can Love that Man whom he Fears or by whom he thinks himself to be Fear'd Tyrants are flatter'd indeed for a while with an appearance of Friendship but when they fall as commonly they do then they see too plainly how few Friends they have 'T is reported of Tarquin that he should say in his Banishment that now he could discern his Friends from his Enemies when he was not in a capacity of being useful to the one or hurtful to the other Tho' I should wonder if so proud and cruel a Tyrant could find one Friend in the World Now as this Man 's ill qualities gain'd him no true Friends so commonly the affluence of Wealth indisposes some Men for a real Friendship For Fortune is not only Blind her self but she hoodwinks her Favourites so that they are generally puff'd up with Pride and self-conceit and certainly nothing is more unsufferable than a fortunate Fool. Of this we have frequent instances in some whose humor is at first not disagreeable till Honor Power and Prosperity make such an
of another Does any one deny I deny too does he affirm So do I in short I have that command over my self as to be of every Man's mind as Terence has it in another Play this he applies wittily to Gnatho a Parasite which would look very absurd in a Friend There are too many in the World that resemble Gnatho in their Character tho' they make a better figure than he did upon the Stage Flattery in them is fullsome when they think their Vanity authoriz'd by their Greatness But we may as easily discern a Flatterer from a Friend with a little care as we can distinguish false and sophisticated Ware from that which is right The very unthinking Multitude where one would little expect to find any Judgment shall sometimes find the difference between a fawning Demagogue that is a Publick Flatterer and a wise and worthy Patriot What fine arts did C. Papirius use to insinuate himself into the minds of his Auditors when he endeavour'd to bring in a Law for making the same Person Tribune of the Commons as often as they pleas'd I oppos'd it but I shall say nothing of my self of Scipio I shall speak most willingly Lord what weight what Majesty was there in his Oration One would have thought he had been their Governor and not their Fellow-Citizen But you were present and his Speech is in every Man's hands Thus through his means that popular Law was rejected by the unanimous Consent of the People But to speak a word or two of my self You may remember when Q. Maximus Scipio's Brother and L. Mancinus were Consuls how universally the Law that C. Licinius Crassus propos'd concerning the Creation of Priests had obtain'd among the Vulgar Now the intent of this Law was to transfer the right of chusing Men into that Office upon the Populace 'T was he that first brought up the Custom of Haranguing the People in Verse But the Honor every one had for the immortal Gods together with my best endeavours in their defence did easily defeat his mercenary Oration This was done when I was Praetor five years before I was Consul tho' I must confess the success of that Affair is more owing to the Justice of the Cause than to the Abilities of its Advocate Since therefore upon so publick a Stage as a Vulgar Audience is where there is room enough for Shuffling and Prevarication Naked Truth can prevail when 't is laid open and illustrated how much more can it do in Friendship which is wholly measur'd by it For here unless your Friend unlocks his Breast to you and you do the same to him there can be no Trust or Confidence between you you cannot so much as Love or be Belov'd but will be forc'd to doubt the sincerity of each other's Affection Now tho' Flattery is very pernicious of it self yet can it hurt no Body but him that admits of it and is pleas'd with it from hence it comes to pass that those Men are most expos'd to the Flattery of others who are most apt to flatter themselves and to have an over-weaning Conceit of their own Worth 'T is true Vertue is lovely in her own Eye for she best knows her self and understands how Amiable she is to others But I speak not now of Vertue but of an Opinion of Vertue for most Men desire not so much to be Vertuous as to appear so Such as these are pleas'd with Flattery These when they meet with some elaborate Panegyrick that tickles the vanity of their Humor shall think the fulsom Encomium to be a true Testimonial of their Merit But this is not Friendship where one does not care to hear Truth nor the other to speak it The Flattery of the Parasite in the Play would not seem so witty to us unless there was such a Fop for him to work upon as the Braggadocio But does Thaïs thank me kindly d' ye say One would have thought it enough for Gnatho to have answer'd She does But he cries Oh! infinitely Thus your right Flatterer always aggravates that which the Vain-glorious Man desires should look Big Now tho' this sort of Witchcraft has most power over such as invite and encourage it yet the Wisest and Gravest Persons must be caution'd to take care lest they be overtaken by it some time or other Any Man that has his Wits about him may quickly discern an open Flatterer but we can't use too much Caution in arming our selves against the subtle Insinuations of the sly undermining Sycophant who shall then be most guilty of Assentation when he seems the Spirit of Contradiction who all the while he pretends to oppose you shall only amuse you and at last in Complaisance to you shall suffer himself to be convinc'd so that he who is most in the Wrong shall seem to have the Better side of the Question Now what is more gross than to be thus impos'd upon To prevent all this we must take care as the Poet says in his Epiclerus lest we be banter'd and bubbled worse than all the foolish Old Fellows in Comedies use to be For even upon the Stage we think the Character of an improvident Credulous Dotard very ridiculous My Discourse has deviated I know not how from the Friendships of the more Refin'd that is the Wiser sort of Men I mean here such Wisdom as Man is capable of to those of smaller account let us now return to the first Motive of Friendship and end with it 'T is Vertue Vertue C. Fannius and Q. Mucius that creates and preserves Friendship in That alone we shall find all that is agreeable faithful or constant Vertue having rais'd her self above the common Pitch and shewing her own Light sees the same and knows it in another to whom she joyns her self by a mutual giving and receiving of all that is needful for Both From hence proceeds Love or Friendship which are both deriv'd from the same word Amo in Latin Now Love is nothing else but a well wishing to him whom you affect without any inducement from Necessity or Interest for the Later will naturally follow upon Friendship tho' you do not think of it This sort of Affection I had when I was young for L. Paulus C. Gallus P. Nasica and T. Gracchus my Friend Scipio's Father in-Law who were all of them Old Men. This is more eminently perfect between those of the same Age as between Me and Scipio L. Furius P. Rupilius and Sp. Mummius Again when we grow Old we are pleas'd with the Conversation of Younger Persons as I am with Yours and Tubero's Nay I take great delight in my familiarity with P. Rutilius and A. Virginius tho' they are very young Now because the condition of our Life and Nature is so order'd that one Age grows out of another it might be wish'd that as we began the Race of Life together with our Equals so we might all along continue it and end it with them But since all things in this
Musick and indulge their stay The Swans too gladly held by the late Tide Heard his delightful Strains then try'd To imitate the Voice and dy'd Daphnis was tall and graceful as the Hart That wept the skilful anger of his Dart Like our Melampus faithful like him fleet If Little things we may compare with Great Our poor Melampus wandring round the Plain Hark! with shrill Howls laments his Master slain Was there a Maid cou'd hide her conscious flame When some glad Tale was blest with Daphnis ' Name Youthful Galatea Fair When your Dorinda was not there Alcippe Nysa Chloë strove For the wish'd Triumph of his Love Each her officious Presents would prepare Fruits for his Scrip and Garlands for his Hair Each press'd with glad amazement to the Ring And when He danc'd each strove to sing Their Gifts He wou'd receive their Musick He wou'd hear Till weary'd with their Praises He Thank'd their Civility Refus'd their Love and hasten'd home to Me. There in a clasp'd embrace We lay And with sweet Talk deceiv'd the live-long day Pity'd the Wretches that in vain had woo'd Smil'd at their Passion and our own pursu'd Now left alone with hopeless Grief I moan My ill-Starr'd Friendship wrong'd my Daphnis gon LYC. 'T was in a fatal Hour When the lov'd Maid impatient of my stay Had deck'd and did forsake her Bower To chide my Sloth whilst in the treache'rous way In fair deceit a murde'rous Viper lay There as with eager hast she trod the ground There her swift Foot receiv'd the sudden wound In vain alas the wondring Maid From the following Danger fled Death proud of his fair Conquest grew And all his cruel speed imploy'd and hasten'd to pursue Now I these tributary Sorrows shed To Love deserted and Dorinda dead ALC Curs'd be the deadly Steel By whose much lamented powe'r In a black inauspicious Hour My dear unhappy Daphnis fell 'T was a sad Morn when He the lov'd He rose From my unwilling Breast and his disturb'd Repose Back to my Arms the strugling Youth I pull'd Told Him how young the Day the Air how cold Ask'd Him what was th' unwonted Cause That broke our close embrace so soon He told me I should hear of Him e're Noon Fetch'd an ill-boding Sigh and said He must be gon What was the Cause Ah Me too well I know Too soon for an ill Dream was scarcely past And waking Thoughts my sleeping Fears increas'd When Every Tongue and every Eye spoke Woe And every Maid and every Shepherd said Oh cruel Fate Oh Daphnis dead Curs'd be that Idol Honor doubly curs'd The Wretch that with its nice Exceptions first Stain'd the free Mirth of our infected Plain And taught destructive Swords To be the Judges how unfit of Words For this eve'n Me my Daphnis left Of Him and Happiness berest For this the Youth with early brave Disdain Challeng'd went forth contended and was slain For this sad I with hopeless Grief bemoan My ill Starr'd Friendship wrong'd my Daphnis gon LYC. Thy ill-Starr'd Friendship Swain lament no more I my deserted Love deplore ALC Thy Love the dying flames of loose Desire Look pale and tremble at my chaster Fire LYC. Then let just Pan our Cause's merit try Whilst mighty Love I sing ALC Whilst mightier Friendship I. LYC. I have a Pipe on which I 've often play'd To the lovely listning Maid None dislik'd my artless Lays She 'd find something out to praise On this I 'le play Ye mighty Powe'rs of Love Inspire my willing Pipe my happy Choice approve ALC I have a Pipe on which my Daphnis play'd Whilst ev'ry lovely listning Maid Would leave her Flocks to hear his artful Lays And ev'ry wondring Youth his ev'ry strain wou'd praise To this I 'le sing Kind Friendship bless my Choice Whilst to thy pow'rful Harmony I tune my willing voice LYC. Tell me what kind Power of Old Enrich'd the World and nam'd the Age from Gold When ev'ry Nymph and ev'ry Swain Lov'd and was belov'd again When Falshood and Disdain were yet unknown And Innocence and Love were One Each amo'rous Shepherd chose a willing Maid Above the cares of Honour Birth or State And in Affection richly paid The willing Maid his plain Address receiv'd His unprotested Love beleiv'd And neither vow'd yet neither was deceiv'd Then new Delight did each new Hour employ Love was their Life their Life one lasting Joy Assist Almighty Queen of Heav'n and Love Inspire my willing Pipe my happy Choice approve ALC Tell me e're all this beauteous World was fram'd Or Your fond Age from glittering Gold was nam'd When Heav'n and Earth were one rude Heap And wild Confusion fill'd the pregnant Deep What nobler Cause what Kinder Pow'r The Melancholy Mass did stirr And made the appeas'd Embryo's Friends The appeas'd Embryo's never since Have to that Friendly Knot done violence That Knot nor Chance nor Force can e're destroy Their very Being Friendship is their Friendship one long Joy Almighty Friendship bless my noble Choice Whilst to thy pow'rful Harmony I tune my willing voice LYC. Seest thou yon' Bird that in the Cypress Grove With busy flight from Tree to Tree And untaught Melody Calls his dear Mate and says I am in Love And Alcon see from yonder Bough His dear Mate flies and and answers I love too Their happy Care thro' all the Spring Is only how to Love and how to Sing Then look grave Moralist and learn from These To imitate their Flames and to improve thy Bliss Assist Almighty Queen of Heav'n and Love Inspire my willing Pipe my happy Choice approve ALC Seest thou yon' Oak which many a Year has stood Gracefully firm it self a Wood Why does it raise its lofty Head And all around diffuse a friendly shade See Lycidas a circling Ivy joyns Its mingled Root and round the glad Trunk twines Its willing Leaves Wind Cold and Age they scorn Whilst One can still defend and One adom Thus their embracing Honors each extends Both flourish Both are happy Both are Friends Hence thy gross Joys fond Amorist improve In Friendship 's purer Flames refine thy drossy Love Almighty Friendship bless my noble Choice Whilst to thy pow'rful Harmony I tune my willing Voice LYC. 'T was Love Great Love that from his awful Throne Charm'd the amo'rous Thunderer down Love made the Horned Deity At fair Europa's feet submissive lye Love taught the feather'd God to go To Leda and a Happyer Heav'n below Strange Power that rules the noblest Souls And turns Divinities to Beasts and Fowls ALC To Beasts indeed who blindly place In lawless Lust their soveraign Happiness 'T was Friendship nobler Friendship could inspire Leda's fam'd Sons with a much happyer Fire Than e're inflam'd their wanton Sire Friendship taught the Gene'rous Pair A mix'd Divinity to share And made them that they might unite Their Souls divide their Friendly Light Then boast no more thy worthless Passion when 'T is Love makes Beasts of Gods but Friendship Gods of
Instructions of his and made it my business to improve by so wise a Conversation Upon his Death I apply'd my self to Scaevola the Priest whom I dare affirm for Learning and Justice to be the most excellent Person in Rome But having spoken of Him in another place I shall now return to Scaevola the Augur Among other Discourses of his I remember when I and two or three of his most familiar Friends were sitting with him he fell upon a Subject which was then in every Man's Mouth For I suppose Atticus You who were so well acquainted with P. Sulpicius can't forget how the mortal hatred he bore Q. Pompeius who was Consul when he was Tribune and with whom he had formerly been very intimate did amaze as well as trouble all the Town Scaevola took occasion from this to entertain us with a Discourse of Loelius's to Him and his other Son in Law C. Fannius Marcus's Son upon Friendship which pass'd within a few days after the Death of Africanus The Heads of this Discourse I remember very well and have digested them into this Treatise after my own Method For I have brought in the Persons speaking to one another that I might avoid the troublesom repetition of said I and said He and that they might seem to talk as if they were present Now having been often desir'd by You to write something of Friendship and looking upon it as a Subject that might be as worthy of every one's Knowledge as of our Familiarity I was the more inclin'd to contribute what I cou'd to the publick Good and your private Satisfaction But as in that Dialogue of mine concerning Old Age which was dedicated to You I brought in the elder Cato discoursing because I thought to Person fitter to speak upon that Theme than one who had seen the World so long and had flourish'd so eminently in his later years So having understood from Tradition that the Friendship between C. Laelius and P. Scipio was very famous I judg'd it proper to make Laelius once more speak those things concerning Friendship which Scaevola remember'd to have been formerly said by Him This way of Discourse seems to carry the more weight in it when 't is grounded upon the Authority of Men so Ancient and Illustrious insomuch as in the reading over that former Treatise I am sometimes so strangely affected with it tho' 't was written by my self that methinks Cato speaks not I. But as in that Book being my self an Old Man I wrote to an Old Man concerning Age so in this being a Friend I write to a Friend concerning Friendship there Cato spoke than whom no Man of his time was Older or Wiser Here Laelius who always had the repute of the Wisest Man and the Faithsullest Friend talks of Friendship Therefore I must desire you to divert your thoughts from Me that write it to Laelius that speaks it Caius Fannius and Quintus Mucius are suppos'd to come to their Father-in-Law upon the Death of Africanus They begin the Discourse with Laelius who talks all the way of Friendship and in whose Character of a Friend you will see your own FANNIUS What you say Laelius is true for there never was a Man of greater Prudence or Renown than Africanus but you must consider that the Eyes of all are now upon You You only are call'd and counted Wise This was lately the Attribute of Cato and formerly of L. Atilius But both of them had it in a different respect Atilius for his knowledge in the Civil Law Cato for his long Experience in the World his Wisdom and Courage in the Senate and his Wit and Eloquence at the Bar So that when He came to be Old the Epithet of Wise was in a manner become his Proper Name But You are esteem'd for another kind of Wisdom which is no less owing to your Industry and Knowledge than to your Nature and Manners And that not as Wisdom goes among the Vulgar but as the better sort describe a Wise Man such as Greece never had For the more exact Critics will not allow those Seven who were called the Sages to be perfectly Wise we read of One only at Athens and Him pronounced so by Apollo Now the Wisdom which is held to be in You is such as enables you to esteem all that can be call'd your own as proceeding from your Self and to look upon all humance Accidents as things beneath the thoughts of a Vertuous Man Therefore several have enquir'd of Me and I believe of Scaevola how You bear the Death of Africanus and so much the rather because when we met last Nones according to our custom in D. Brutus's Garden to discourse You only were absent who always us'd to observe that day and that Duty very punctually SCAEVOLA 'T is true Laelius several as Fannius says enquire But I answer them from my own observation that You bear the loss of so great a Man and so good a Friend with all the moderation that can be expected that indeed a Man of your good Nature cou'd not but be somewhat moved but that your absence from Us was occasion'd by your Illness rather than by any excess of Grief LAELIUS You say well Scaevola No small Impediment should have kept me from an Office which I always attended when I was in health For I don't think that any Accident can excuse a Man of Resolution from the performance of his Duty But you Fannius that attribute more to Me than I either desire or deserve shew more of your Friendship to Me than of your Justice to Cato for either no Man ever was Wise which I am more inclinable to think or if ever Man was He was For to omit other Instances how bravely did he bear the Death of his Son Paulus I remember and Caius I have seen but their Loss was not so great as Cato's and consequently their Trial less Their Sons died in their Childhood Cato's was a Man not only of great Hopes but of approved Verâ—ues Wherefore have a care of preferring even Him whom you say Apollo judged the Wisest of Men before Cato for if the Sayings of the First deserve our Praise the Actions of the Last will challenge our Admiration But now to deal freely with you Both as to your Sentiments of Me. Whether I shou'd do well or no in denying my self to be concern'd for Scipio's Death let the Learned determine I 'm sure I should not speak the Truth for I must needs say I am moved at the loss of such a Friend as I think there never will be and I am certain there never was But I want no Remedies I am my own Comforter and chiefly in this that I am freed from an Error with which most Men are possess'd upon the Death of their Friends for I think not that any Harm has hapned to Scipio all that has hapned is to Me Now to take one's own Misfortunes to heart shews more like self-Self-love than Friendship But who can deny
same time when these Men have the confidence to require a Compliance with all their Demands they seem to profess that They would do any thing right or wrong to serve a Friend But this is an old Complaint which has not only parted Friends but created Mortal and Implacable Enemies These are the Inconveniences which Scipio thought so incident to common Friendships that he who could conquer or avoid them was to be esteem'd not only a Wise but a Happy Man And now if you please let us consider how far Love ought to proceed in Friendship If Coriolanus had Friends ought they to have born Arms with him against their Country Should the Friends of Viscellinus or Sp. Moelius have assisted their Ambition in aspiring to the Empire We saw but t'other day that Tib. Gracchus when he disturb'd the Government was forsaken by Qu. Tubero and all his Friends that were of any Quality But C. Blossius of Cuma an Acquaintance of your Family Scoevola when he came to me to the Senate Loenas and Rupilius being then Consuls to sue for his Pardon urg'd this Argument for his Excuse Because he had so high an esteem for Tib. Gracchus that he thought himself oblig'd to do whatever he desir'd But what said I if he should bid you Fire the Capitol He would never have propos'd that answer'd he Well but what if he had Truly said he I should have done it You hear how Wickedly he spoke and really he did as he said or rather more For he was no longer the Instrument but the Author of Gracchus's Rage and was his Leader rather than his Companion in all his desperate Attempts at last the Hot brain'd Rebel being terrifi'd by a heavy Accusation for fresh Crimes fled into Asia and revolted to the Enemy and in the end was overtaken by a severe but just Punishment for all his Treasons Therefore it won't excuse you from the Offence to say you offended for a Friend's sake for Vertue being the very cement of Friendship there is no preserving the one if you forsake the other Now if we judge it very fit for us to comply with all the Desires of a Friend and for him to do the same by us we have Reason on our side as long as the Matter of his Request is not unlawful I speak here of such Friends as we have before our Eyes such as we meet with in History or Conversation Those we are to make our Precedents and those chiefly who come nearest to the true Wisdom We have heard of the intimate Friendship between Papus Aemilius and C. Luscinus who as Tradition tells us were twice Consuls together and twice Censors and we find that M. Curius and T. Coruncanius were familiar with them and between themselves Now we can't suppose that any one of these would ever press the other to the performance of ought that touch'd their Honor their Oath or their Loyalty No they were Men of so much Vertue that if such Demands were ever made I dare say they were never granted Yet we see Tib. Gracchus was assisted by C. Carbo C. Cato and his Brother Caius who proves a greater Stickler for that Faction since his Brother's Death than he was before Therefore we may take this for a general Rule in Friendship Neither to make nor grant any dishonourable Request For in all other Offences but especially in those that are against our Country 't is a poor Evasion to cry They were committed upon a Friend's account Now we are fallen into such Times Fannius and Scoevola that it concerns us to look as far as we can into the Future state of the Republick especially since we have degenerated from the Customs and Manners of our Ancestors Tib. Gracchus strove to obtain or rather did actually usurp the Supreme Power for a few Months Did ever any Roman see or hear the like Yet even after his Death his Friends and Adherents maintain'd what he had done nor can I mention their usage of P. Nasica Scipio without Tears Carbo whom I nam'd just now we bore with by reason we had punish'd Tib. Gracchus so lately What will be the Event of C. Gracchus's Tribuneship I shall not pretend to guess that Affair grows daily upon us and if it once gets a Head will be very pernicious to the Republick You may see by every Poll for Magistrates what mischievous Consequences have attended the Gabinian Law and that which Cassius brought in two years after And now methinks I see the Senate and People of Rome divided and all things manag'd by a Head-strong Multitude whilst some stand looking on and are more curious to enquire what occasion'd these Calamities than how they should be remedied But what 's the Reason of all this Truly because no Body would dare to attempt such a thing without a Party Therefore every Honest Man must be caution'd that tho' his Friendship should betray him unawares into such Alliances yet he must ot hold himself oblig'd to stand by his Friend in any Design that tends to the subversion or prejudice of the Commonwealth For all Offenders of this kind some Punishment must be provided and no less for the Adherents than for the Leaders of a Faction Who in all Greece was more Renown'd or more Powerful than Themistocles who deliver'd that Nation from Slavery in the Persian War where he was General Yet after all this Man when he was Banish'd thro' the Jealousie of his Fellow-Citizen knew not how to bear that Affront from his Ungrateful Country tho' 't was his Duty to have born it but took the same course as Coriolanus had done here Twenty years before him and Revolted Neither of these could find a Friend that would assist them against his Country and therefore Both kill'd themselves Now I say such wicked Associations as these must not only be deny'd the umbrage of Friendship for their Excuse but should be made liable to some heavy Censure that no Man may think it lawful upon any account to take up Arms with his Friend against his Country which for ought I can see as things go now may too frequently happen For my part I am no less concern'd to think what the Condition of the Republick will be after my Death than what is now in my Life time Therefore this must be laid down as the first Maxim in Friendship To request what is just of our Friends and to perform what is just for them scarcely respiting the performance so long as to be ask'd Let us always be ready to oblige them and exclude all delays from Friendship Let us be willing and glad to give good Counsel and let the Authority of a Friend if his Advice be honest go a great way with us this Authority must extend it self not only to open Admonitions but where occasion requires to severe Reproofs and then it must be strictly obey'd Yet some who I hear are esteem'd Wise in Greece please themselves with strange and singular Opinions but nothing
alteration in them that they slight their Old Friends and grow fond of New Now what can be a greater weakness than for Men abounding in Riches to lay out vast Sums upon Horses Equipage Cloaths Furniture and twenty other Commodities that every Man may have for his Mony and yet not to be solicitous in the obtaining a Friend the Richest Treasure and Lovelyest Ornament of ones Life For let a Man bestow never so much in the purchase of worldly Goods yet he can't tell for whom they are purchas'd or who shall enjoy the Fruits of all his Cost and Care which may at last be snatch'd from him by some stronger hand but a Friend is a sure and lasting Possession Nay tho' we should suppose our selves absolute Masters of all that Fortune can give yet even in that condition a Life destitute of Friends would be Solitary and Uncomfortable And so much for this Point Let us now set some Bounds and Limits to Friendship how far it should proceed in Kindness concerning these I find three several Opinions none of which I approve The First is That we must stand equally affected to our Friends as to our Selves The Second That our Returns of Friendship must bear an exact proportion to the Obligations we receive from our Friends The Third That accordingly as a Man esteems of Himself such he must be esteem'd by his Friend Of these three Assertions there is not one to which I can assent First It is not true that a Man ought to stand equally affected to his Friend as to Himself For how many things are there which we would never do in our own Case and yet we are willing to do them for a Friend's sake For instance to sue to an unworthy Man to be importunate to reproach any one with some Bitterness and Passion all which would not appear so well in our own behalf yet might be excusable upon a Friend's account Besides there are many cases in which a good Man willingly neglects or quits his own Convenience that his Friend rather than himself may enjoy it The next Opinion limits Friendship to a mutual equality and exact Correspondence in all good Offices This is to call Friendship to too strict and severe an account by requiring that the Returns should be equivalent to the Obligations True Friendship methinks is of a more generous and noble Nature and scorns to be exact in observing whether more is return'd than has been receiv'd for we must not be afraid lest any thing should fall to the ground and be forgotten or lest our Friends should have too much of our Kindness The last and indeed the worst is that a Man must be esteem'd by his Friend as he esteems of Himself We frequently see some Men dejected in Mind and hopeless of mending their Condition in such a case it will not become a Friend to entertain the same mean thoughts of his desponding Companion as he has of himself but rather to use all arts and endeavours to raise his drooping Spirits and to animate him with better thoughts of himself and his Fortunes But we shall find that true Friendship has a nobler End than any of these if we remember what Scipio found so much fault with when he said there could be no Opinion more pernicious to Friendship than his who said that a Man must love with this reserve that he may one day hate He could never be persuaded that this Sentence was spoken by Bias who was one of the Seven but rather by some Lewd ill-natur'd Fellow that had a mind to subject all the World to his Interest and Ambition For how can any Body be that Man's Friend whose Enemy he thinks he may become hereafter Besides he must needs wish that his Friend may offend often that he may find more Occasions to rebuke him and he must as necessarily be displeas'd when he does well or succeeds well Wherefore this Doctrine whoever was the Author of it tends to the utter dissolution of Friendship He should rather have advis'd us to use such Caution in chusing a Friend as not to begin to love one whom at some time or other we may hate but if we are not so happy in our Choice as we could wish 't was Scipio's Opinion that we must rather bear with it than ever think of a Separation This in my mind should be the chief aim of Friendship that the Manners and Dispositions of Friends should be good and that there may be a Communication of all things between them both of their Intentions and Thoughts without any reserve And tho' it should sometimes fall out that a Friend's Request is less reasonable than it ought to be yet if his Life or Credit lies at Stake we may step a little aside to serve him unless we foresee that some scandalous Consequence will attend our Compliance For tho' there are some Allowances to be made in Friendship yet we must not hazard our own Reputation nor that necessary Instrument in all our Affairs the good Will of our Neighbours which to purchase by Fawning and Flattery is base and mean Above all things we must be mindful of Vertue which is the Foundation of Friendship Scipio for I must often return to Him who was always talking of this Subject us'd to complain that in all other Matters Men were more diligent than in this Every one can tell you how many Sheep or Oxen he has but ask him how many Friends and he is silent Most People are cautious and curious enough in the purchase of the first but very negligent and indifferent in the choice of the last All this proceeds from an ignorance of the true Marks and Tokens by which we may discern one that is well qualifi'd for a Friend We must therefore pitch upon those whom we think to be Men of a firm steady and constant Principle there are so few of this sort that we can hardly judge of them but by making some Trial and this Trial can't be made till we have entred into some Familiarity which being antecedent to our Experience seems to prevent our making a right Judgment of a Friend Therefore a Prudent Man must know as well how to stop the Torrent of his Affection as a good Rider how to check the Cariere of a head strong Jade Friendship must be us'd like Manag'd Horses the Humors and Dispositions of those we intend for our Friends must be observ'd by degrees Some are tried in a little matter of Mony how slight their Professions are Others again who are not to be tempted with a small Sum will be prov'd in a greater But if you can find a Man after all that scorns to prefer your Mony before your Friendship where will you light upon one that will not value Greatness Power Wealth and Empire above his Friend that when These stand in competition with the Laws and Rights of Friendship will not chuse the first before the last So hard is it for Flesh and
Blood to resist the Temptations of Honor and Interest And tho' they are purchas'd with the violation of Friendship yet some Men shall think it very allowable to make bold with a Friend upon so great an account So that true Friendship is hardly to be looked for from the Ambitious and Busy part of Mankind for 't is almost impossible to find One among them that will wish his Friend's Advancement before his own To say no more of this how grievous and intolerable is it to some Men to bear the least share of their Friends Misfortunes How few are there in the World that can submit to that Now tho' Ennius was in the right when he said Our cruellest Fortune shews our kindest Friends Yet there are two Cases in which most Men shew the levity and inconstancy of their Nature namely when they slight a Friend in their Prosperity or forsake him in his Adversity He therefore that in both Conditions of Fortune is a constant firm faithful Friend He I say ought to be esteem'd as one of that Noble and almost Divine sort of Men. Now the main Foundation of that Stability and Constancy which is requir'd in Friendship is Truth for nothing can be lasting that is not true We must chuse a Man that is Plain Courteous good Humor'd and of the same Mind with our selves these are the inseparable Marks of Fidelity for a Heart that is various and full of doublings can never be faithful nor can one that is of a Temper and Disposition different from ours be either cordial or constant Give me leave to add this That a Man must not be too forward in laying Faults upon his Friend of himself nor in believing them from others All this belongs to that Constancy which I mention'd just now Thus have I prov'd what I told you at first that there can be no Friendship but between Good Men. For 't is the part of a Good Man whom I may justly call a Wise Man to observe these two Rules in Friendship First That it be without any Deceit or Dissimulation for 't is more ingenuous to profess an open Hatred than to disguise it under the Mask of Love Secondly Not only to defend his Friend against false Accusations but to keep himself from suspecting that he violates the Laws of Friendship 'T is necessary too that there should be a sweetness of Temper and a pleasantness in Conversation which certainly gives a delightful relish to Friendship Sullenness and Moroseness must be avoided by all means For tho' Friendship admits of Gravity yet it must always be remiss and easie and dispos'd to all innocent Chearfulness and Complaisance Here some will think it a disputable Question Whether a New Friend if he deserves our Love should not be preferr'd before an Old one as we use to prize a young Horse above one that is past his Prime This is an ill natur'd Doubt For we must not think that Friendship like the ordinary Pleasures of Life is capable of Satiety but rather that Old Friends like Old Wine are the better for their Age. 'T is a true tho' common Saying that One must eat many a Bushel of Salt with a Friend before he can acquit himself in all the Offices of Friendship Novelties indeed like young Plants if they give us any hopes of Fruit are not to be rejected but still that which is of an elder Date is to be cherish'd most For certainly long Acquaintance and continual Use are strong Engagements upon our Nature And if the Horse I was speaking of has no great Faults I know no Man that would not rather chuse to Ride one that he has been long us'd to than a skittish Colt that was never Back'd This power of Custom and Use is not only discernible in Living Creatures but even in things Inanimate 'T is a common Observation That Men take most Pleasure in those Places where they have dwelt longest tho' they are never so Wild and Mountainous 'T is a great Step to Friendship when the Superior descends to an Equality with his Inferior For many times there will happen a difference in Degree as there was between Scipio and us that were his Friends yet He never would esteem himself above Philus Rupilius Mummius or any of his Friends that were of an Inferior Rank but on the contrary always respected his Brother Q. Maximus who was a Worthy Gentleman but no way Scipio's Equal for he was a great deal younger as if he had been his Superior and look'd upon all his Friends as Men that were his Betters in their intrinsick Worth 'T is pity but all Men should follow Scipio's Example in this and if they have any Advantage above their Friends in the Gifts of Nature or Fortune they should freely impart it to them and share it with them For Instance If their Parentage be low or their Endowments of Mind or Fortune mean they should increase their Stock in both and do them all the Honor and Service they can As we read in Romances of some Heroes who having been brought up in Mean Families thro' the obscurity of their Birth and ignorance of their Parentage and proving at last the Sons of some King or God retain their first Affection to the Shepherds whom till then they look'd upon as their Natural Fathers This Duty is much more incumbent upon us where our Real Parents are known And then it is that the Fruits of Knowledge and Wisdom and every Excellence are most certainly enjoy'd by our Selves when they are communicated to Others Therefore as they who are any way Superior to their Friends should make them their Equals so on the other side they that are Inferiors must not be dissatisfi'd if they have a Friend that excels them in Knowledge Fortune or Dignity But 't is the Humor of some to be always complaining of their Friends or else upbraiding them especially where they find any colour of saying such a thing was done for their sake and that they shew'd enough of their Kindness by serving them in an Affair where none but a Friend would have given himself half the trouble This sort of Men is intolerable for they turn their very Favours into Reproaches whereas the nature of an Obligation seems to require that it should be remembred by him that receiv'd it not upbraided by him that gave it Now as the Superior must submit himself so must the Inferior in some sort raise himself to an Equality with his Friend Some Men make their Friends very uneasie by thinking themselves slighted tho' this seldom happens but to such as are conscious of their own Demerits such as these are to be won from their Opinion not only by Persuasion but by real Assistance And here it might be proper to consider first how far it lays in our power to oblige and secondly how far the Person we would oblige is qualifi'd for the Character and Post we intend him For 't is impossible for a Man let him be
Companion to obtain her desires If therefore this noble Association ever was is or can be found between any two Persons they are to be look'd upon as the best Guides to this greatest Blessing of Human Nature This this is the Society in which is to be found all that Man can wish for Vertue Honour Peace of Mind Pleasure and every solid Enjoyment that makes our Lives happy and without which they cannot be comfortable This doubtless is the highest consummation of Human Felicity and if we would attain to it we must make Vertue the means without which we can never deserve a Friend nor any thing that 's worth our wishes and which being neglected they that think they have Friends will too late find their Error when they have occasion to make use of them Therefore for I cannot repeat it too often we must Try before we Love and not Love before we Try. But as our neglect in other matters of moment is too visible so is it chiefly blameable in the choice and management of our Friendships in which many of us use very preposterous Methods and in spite of the Proverb frustrate our own designs For sometimes we suffer our selves to be so incumber'd with our own worldly concerns or engage our selves so deeply in publick affairs that upon the least distast or disappointment in them we immediately take pett and fall out with our Friends But nothing can excuse our want of Care in a matter of so great importance for Friendship is the only thing in the World concerning whose usefulness all Men agree Nay tho' Vertue it self is derided by some and passes with them for Singularity and Ostentation tho' many that content themselves with a little despise Riches tho' Honor and Greatness which inflame the Ambition of most Men are so slighted by some that nothing is thought more vain and empty and so for other things of this nature that are admir'd by some and contemn'd by others yet all Men have the same respect for Friendship the Statesman and the Philosopher the Idleman and the Man of Business nay even those that mind nothing but their Pleasures will tell you that there is no living without a Friend if you mena to live happily For Friendship runs through every Stage of our life no Age or Condition is exempt from it Nay tho' a Man were of that morose and savage disposition as to hate and shun the conversation of Mankind as we read one Timon an Athenian to have done yet that very Man can't live without some body to whom he may vent his spleen and ill nature This we should find by our own experience if it were possible for some God to take us from the Society of Men and to place us in a Solitude there supplying with all the necessities of nature and only debarring us of the power to see any of our Fellow-creatures Is there any Man of so hard a temper that he could endure such a life and to whom that Solitude would not render all Pleasures fruitless and insipid 'T was a very true Saying that which we have receiv'd from our Forefathers and they from theirs as spoken by Archytas of Tarentum that if a Man were to ascend into Heaven and there to contemplate the nature of the Universe and the beauty of the Stars all that Entertainment would be ungrateful to him which if he had a Companion to speak to would have been very acceptable and pleasant Thus we see Nature flies Solitude and seems to seek some support and assistance from without which every true Friend does with pleasure But tho' Nature by so many tokens declares what she wants and requires we stop our ears I know not how nor why and will not hearken to what she suggests Now as the usefulness of Friendship is various and manyfold so in it there are too many occasions given of suspicions and distasts all which a wise Man will avoid lessen or bear And without doubt it requires a great deal of Discretion to preserve the Truth and Faithfulness of a Friend without giving offence at some time or other For our Friends must be often admonish'd and sometimes rebuk'd both which if they are wellmeant are to be taken well But 't is too true as my friend Terence says in a Play of his call'd Andria Compliance gains Friends and Truth Enemies Truth is ungrateful because it begets Hatred which is the Bane of Friendship But Compliance is infinitly worse for that ruins a Friend by indulging him in his faults and suffers him to run headlong into destruction But he of all Men is most to blame that both hates Truth and suffers himself to be misled by Compliance In this case all possible care and diligence is to be us'd that our Admonitions be without Severity and our Reproofs without Scurrility But let our Compliance to use Terence's expression be temper'd with all Freedom and void of Flattery that Pandar to Vice which is misbecoming not only of a Friend but of a Gentleman For 't is one thing to live upon equal terms with a Friend and another thing to live under a Tyrant but he that stops his Ears against the Truth and will not hear it tho' it comes from a Friend is certainly in a desperate condition and must be given over What Cato tells us is infallibly true that some Men are more beholding to their sharpest Enemies than to their smoothest Friends for the first speak truth sometimes but the last never 'T is very absurd in most Men when they are admonished to be troubled where they should not and not to be troubled where they should For usually they are not so angry with Themselves for committing a fault as with their Friend for telling them of it whereas on the contrary they should be sorry they have Err'd and glad they are Reprov d. As therefore 't is the property of cordial Friendship mutually to admonish and to be admonish'd and as the one is to be done with all Freedom but without any Sharpness and the other to be taken with all Patience and without any murmuring so we may be sure that there is no greater Canker to Friendship than Flattery fawning and assentation This Vice has too many Names as well as Shapes and is the infallible symptom of a base deceitful temper that speaks and acts every thing out of a love to Compliance more than Truth But Dissimulation besides that 't is odious in all cases for it corrupts and destroys our Judgment is utterly inconsistent with Friendship because it is repugnant to Truth without which the name of Friendship is but taken in vain For since the End and Excellence of Friendship is to unite our minds how can that be effected where one Man has not always one and the same mind but is unsetled inconstant and inconsistent with himself What can be so flexible and slippery as his mind who conforms himself not only to the Will but even to the very Looks
World are so frail and uncertain we must never be without some One whom we may love and by whom we may be mutually belov'd for without Friendship there is no Enjoyment of Life Tho' Scipio was suddenly snatch'd from me yet to Me he still does and always will live for I lov'd his Vertue and That can never die That is not only continually before my Eyes in whose Arms it sometimes was but will be signally Famous to all Posterity No man will think of any gallant and extraordinary Undertaking but He will Copy out his Actions from Scipio's Life Among all the Blessings that Fortune or Nature ever bestow'd upon me I know none that I can compare with Scipio's Friendship With Him I advis'd and agreed in the management of all Public and Private Affairs in Him was treasur'd up my Happiness I never offended him to my knowledge in the least I never heard any thing from him that I could wish un said Our Lodging and Diet was in one House and at one Table and not only our Warfare but our Travels and our Retirements were always together Not to mention our Studies which having withdrawn our selves from the Eyes of the World we spent in the search of Knowledge Now if the Remembrance of these things had dy'd with Scipio I could never have born the Loss of so dear and loving a Friend No that can never decay but is rather continually strengthen'd and renew'd by the frequency of my Thoughts and the freshness of my Memory Nay tho' That too were gone yet I should find some Comfort from my Age for by the Course of Nature I cannot want Him long and what is but short must be born patiently tho' it be grievous This is all I have to say upon this Subject and let me advise you Gentlemen to have that esteem for Vertue without which there can be no Amity as to think that That only excepted nothing is more excellent than Friendship FINIS A Pastoral Dialogue CONCERNING FRIENDSHIP AND LOVE OCCASION'D By the DEATH of the Honourable J. T. Extinctum Nymphoe crudeli funere Daphnim Flebant Virg Eclog. Printed in the Year MDCXCI A Pastoral Dialogue CONCERNING FRIENDSHIP AND LOVE ALCON and LYCIDAS ALCON SAy Lycidas why all alone Is thy Dorinda false or does she frown Dost Thou to this dark Desert fly To vent thy own or blame her Jealousy LYCIDAS No Shepherd no the Maid was ever kind Dear to my Eyes and charming to my Mind Nay I remember with her Parting Breath She blest our Loves and smil'd and kiss'd in Death But oh She 's gone like a fall'n Blossom cast From its fair Stalk by some untimely Blast For ever gone whilst I distracted rove Tell the sad Tale to ev'ry conscious Grove And mourn the dear remembrance of our injur'd Love ALC Look up despairing Youth and see With pitying Eyes a sadder Wretch than Thee My Friend my Soul my Daphnis is no more Snatch'd like an early Flower Which some rude Hand had cropt before its hour Whilst I thrô many a Pathless-way With heedless Sorrow stray Led hither by my wandring Sheep With much more Tears a dearer Loss than Thine to weep LYC. A dearer Loss Rash Swain take heed With emulous Grief you wrong the beauteous Dead My Tears can brook a Rival now no more Than could my Flames my Hapless flames before Fate has not kill'd my Passion but improv'd For Dead I worship what Alive I lov'd ALC Fond Youth in yon' soft Myrtle Shades To amo'rous Boys and wanton Maids Tell thy sad Tale whilst every conscious Grove With tatling sounds mocks thy unmanly Love Be silent Here where Reason holds the Scale Thy Passion needs must yield my Friendship must prevail LYC. Here then with mournful strife we 'll Both contend And let yon' Swain our Fleecy Charge attend Whilst I a Mistress weep ALC But I a Friend LYC. Come all ye Nymphs a beauteous mournful Train Beauteous indeed now my Dorinda's gone Come All and teach the listning Plain To tell Our loss and weep Its own Ye Nymphs that crowded round her graceful side Whilst She your Envy and your Pride With all your Myrtles all your Praises crown'd In tuneful measures struck the gladsom ground And all ye Swains whose emulous Harmony Taught by the Equal motions of her Feet Thence grew Artful thence grew Sweet Ye Swains that courted Her and envy'd Me Come all with mingled Grief combine To mourn your own Despair and pity Mine O're Her sad Herse Pour out your Tears And with them write this Melancholy Verse Here fair Dorinda lies Dorinda here did fall Who One blest Shepherd lov'd Her self belov'd of All. ALC Come all ye Youths Ye dear Companions come Now dear indeed since Daphnis is no more With equal Tears Our common Loss deplore And bless his Fame and beautify his Tomb. Ye Youths that round my Daphnis proudly rode Whilst He the Grace the Terror of the Wood With active Force and fatal Certainty By his own Shafts instructed Yours to fly Ye Virgins too that throng'd the joyful place To seek the conquests of a nobler Chace To seek indeed but all in vain Whilst Daphnis Charms an unsought Triumph gain As many Darts as the Lov'd Shepherd threw As many Cupid shot as many wounded You. Come all with mournful Care Your freshest latest Gifts prepare Round his beauteous his cold Head The short-liv'd Honours of mix'd Garlands spread And oh a while their short-liv'd Honours chear With many a Sigh and many a Tear Alive ye lov'd Him all All weep Him dead Weep All and say Daphnis lies here Whom ev'ry Maid did court each Shepherd did commend Daphnis the loveliest Swain Daphnis the kindest Friend LYC. Flowers to the Vale are grateful lofty Pines To the proud Mountain's head embracing Vines To the rich Garden Cypress to the Grove To Me more grateful far Dorinda's Love ALC Frosts to the Flowers are hurtful the rude Storm To lofty Pines to Vines the cruel Worm Fire to the wasted Grove to Me than those More hurtful far my much lov'd Daphnis ' Loss LYC. Oh! She was innocent She was fair As are those spotless Sheep The dying Dear wish'd me to keep My wretched Wealth and my unwelcom Care Was there a Youth o're all the Plain But for Dorinda sigh'd and sigh'd in vain Gay Dorilas Old Melibaeus ' Heir And rich Menalcas rich indeed His thrifty Father lately dead With rival Arts and Presents courted Her And one his Kids and one his Fruits wou'd bring Both she refus'd or deigning to receive To me the Kinder Maid would give One well could Play and one could sweetly Sing Deaf to their Arts and with their Gifts unmov'd She stood and Me even happyer Me she lov'd Now all forlorn these pious Tears 1 shed To Love deserted and Dorinda dead ALC Daphnis was sweet and gentle as yon' Flood Whose listning Waters lov'd to crowd Towards the glad Shore whilst His soft Melody Made them forget their Parent Sea Admire his
Men. Almighty Friendship bless my noble Choice Whilst to thy pow'rful Harmony I tune my willing Voice LYC. Oft have I heard and I remember well When under our tall Poplar shade To Me and to the dear dead Maid Oft faithful Loves old Aegon us'd to tell For faithful Love what Priam's Son could do Priam's Son a Shepherd too How Venus He did worthily prefer Or to the Queen of Heav'n or to the Queen of War Venus recompenc'd his Voice Venus bless'd His noble Choice Tho' Heaven and Greece his Choice deny'd Venus gave the beauteous Bride For Love's happy Violence She Despis'd the Dangers of the Sea The Dangers of the Battle He. Oft have I heard how when War 's rude Alarms From chast Penelope's unwilling Arms Her dear Vlysses forc'd the Widow'd Fair Sat pensive twice ten tedious Year In vain at Troy unhappy Hector strove To reach the faithful Hero's guarded Head At Ithaca in vain with hated Love His Rivals strove to stain Her spotless Bed Love preserv'd the happy Pair Eas'd his Toils and cur'd her Fear Whilst He abroad maintain'd whilst she at home a War Aegon would oft the grateful Tale renew And to it add some happy pleasant Truth That bless'd the smiling Vigor of his Youth Oft would He bid us these fair Tracks pursue And told Us Love wou'd bless Us too But Oh! in moving Words He wou'd relate Eurydice's untimely Fate For whom sad Orpheus lest alone In sweet mournful Strains did moan And ecchoing Rhodope was heard to groan For whom blest Pow'r of Love his Harmony Chang'd arbitrary Fate 's Decree Broke wondring Death 's till then resistless Chain And to his longing Bosom did the joyful Nymph regain Oh! that like Him for I like Him have mourn'd My dearer Loss I might retrieve Oh! that like Her the Maid might be return'd And for like Her she dy'd like Her again might Live But Oh in vain these fruitfuless Tears I shed For Love Deserted and Dorinda dead ALC I too have heard 'twere impious to forget When beneath Yon' spreading Tree To Daphnis dearly known and Me Of Faithful Friends wise Thyrsis wou'd relate How Sicily's envying Tyrant griev'd to know That his delighted Realm could boast of Two Happyer happyer far then He With all his Pow'r and all his Royalty Two for faithful Friendship sam'd Damon I think and Pythias they were nam'd And One in cruel Fetters He confin'd T'other disdain'd his useless Liberty To set his lov'd Companion free He less afflicted that was left behind This the wondring Tyrant saw And own'd the juster Pow'r of Friendship 's Law Their bless'd Acquaintance humbly He did woo If haply of the strong-link'd Chain The least kind Portion might remain Which to the pleasing Yoak might joyn a Monarch too Oft of the Grecian Pair our Priest wou'd speak Whose Friendship Fate it self cou'd hardly break How when sad Garlands crown'd Orestes Head And with cruel Piety The destin'd Victim to the Shrine was led His Pylades did all his skill employ With kind Deceit to frame the Gene'rous Lye And for his dearer Self Himself to dye Both strove to fall Both happily in vain The fatal Conquest neither cou'd obtain The Smiling Goddess did to Friendship give Its just Reward and bad them Love and Live With glad remembrance Thyrsis wou'd commend The wondrous Faith of some old Friend Whose strong surviving Love still warm'd his Breast Then bid Us thus be Friends and thus We shou'd be blest But Oh! with strange concern the Bard wou'd tell How when his Lov'd Perithous fell To amaz'd Styx bold Theseus did descend And lost Himself to find his Friend How when the dear the mournful Captives lay To Death's unpitying King a hopeless Prey Both to redeem the fair Alcmena's Son Alcmena's Son did not disdain To feed his Herds and Love the Plain To the frighted shades went down Both He redeem'd from Both He did remove All Bonds but those of grateful Love This noble Act his less fam'd Labours crown'd Made Him for Courage much for Friendship more renow'd Oh! that like Him a meaner Shepherd I Could make the unrelenting Pow'r My dear lamented Youth restore Oh! that with Me He liv'd or I for Him could dy Oh! that like Them He might return for He Was dearer far than Both to Me. But Oh! in vain with hopeless Grief I moan My ill-Starr'd Friendship wrong'd my Daphnis gon LYC. Kind Friendship Swain has bless'd thy noble Choice Pan has inspir'd thy Pipe and tun'd thy Voice Thy Voice at least this Conquest shall obtain That since the matchless Maid is slain I 'le never never Love again ALC Oh! Yield a little farther yet And make my Conquest and my Joy compleat For since my dearest Daphnis bled Too justly I despair to find A Youth so true a Friend so kind Unless to Daphnis Lycidas succeed LYC. Tho' all unworthy I And rude in Friendship 's well sung Mystery Yet would Alcon deign to show The happy means for Alcon well does know I fain would Learn methinks and Practise too ALC Then may all Strife in this blest Union end And Kindness only Here contend So Thou a Mistress scarce hast lost LYC. So Thou hast found a Friend BOOKS Printed for WILLIAM CROOKE at the Green-Dragon without Temple-Bar 1. 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