pressed into Despair by the Sting of a pinching Necessity I will pray therefore with Agur Lord give me neither Wealth nor Poverty but a Mean or if Wealth Grace to employ it If Poverty Patience to endure it If I 'm Poor and Honest I can neâ—e be unhappy for then God is my Father the Angels are my fellows Heaven is my Inheritance and what can I ask more save to be in that blessed place where Riches have no Wings and every Lazarut wears a Crown And as in Heaven the Poorest Man is a King so on Earth they are so dear to God that Solomon tells us He that mocketh the Poor reproacheth his Maker and which wou'd make one in love with Poverty they that have least are freest from Cares The Poor are in no danger from Plots or robbing The moneyless Traveller can sing before a Thief Neither is he that 's as poor as Iob in any danger of starying for in most Churches they have that Respect for the Needy that 't is writ in Capital Letters as in Cripplegate Church Pray remember the Poor And Heaven it self has taken that care of 'em that in Cases of Wrong Restitution must be made to the Poor where the right Owner is dead and to encourage the Rich to be Kind nothing makes their Names shine so much as Charity Salvian saith that Christ himself is Mendicorum maximus the greatest Beggar in the world as one that shareth in all his Saints necessities and will never forget the charitable person Cicero could say That to be rich is not to possess much but to use much And Seneca could rebuke them that so studied to increase their wealth that they forgot to use it I have read of one Evagrius a rich man that lying upon his Death-bed being importuned by Synesius a pious Bishop to give somthing to charitable uses he yielded at last to give three hundred Pounds but first took Bond of the Bishop that it should be repayed him in another world before he had been one day dead He is said to have appeared to the Bishop delivering in the Bond cancelled as thereby acknowledging what was promised was made good according to that promise What we give to the Poor we secure from the Thief but what we with hold from his Necessity a Thief possesses God's Exchequer is the Poor Man's Box when we strike a Tally he becomes our Debtor Faelix the Fifth being demanded whether he kept any Hounds he brought them that asked him to a place where a great company of poor people sate down together at Dinner saying Behold these are my Hounds which I feed daily with the which I hope to hunt for the Kingdom of Heaven St. Chrysostom was a rare Spokes-man for the Almighty's Box such are the Poor when he said That God commanded Alms not so much for the Poors sake as the good of the Rich Another calls Charity to the Poor An Art the most thriving of all Arts. Nay the Almighty often maketh present payment knowing how hardly he can get Credit from our Insidelity and even in Temporals Thy bread cast upon the Waters maketh better than Fast India Voyages But if the Rich should be hard hearted the Poor have Law on their side and can force the Parish where they were born to keep ' em And if they happen to be Kin to Estates and han't Moneys to claim their Right yet they can sue in Forma-Pauperis and if the Lawyers were honest I don't see but the Poor are the most likely to carry the Day as their Necessities plead as well as the Lawyer and the Justice of their Cause Or if they are bauk'd in a Just Suit the worst that can be said is There goes a Poor injur'd Honest Man which is more Honourable than to have it said There goes a Rich Knave But suppose they had no Advocate yet at worst they can beg for their daily Bread and then when they sleep Heaven is their Canopy and Mother Earth their Pillow Beggars more than others seem to be the peculiar Care of Providence Then who 'd be a King when a Beggar Lives so well or if all support for their bodies fail to stand their ground and look to Heaven for a handful of supply speaks their Faith At a Lions Den or a fiery Furnace not to turn our back is a Commendation worthy a Prophet When our Saviour wou'd put to silence the distrusters of his Time he points them to the Lillies of the Field not of the Garden which are digg'd and dung'd but of the Field which have no Gardiner but the Sun no watering Pots but the Clouds and your Heavenly Father says he cloaths these Then who 'd be afraid of Poverty that has such a merciful Father to go to 'T is true the Poor are Slaves to the Rich and their words little regarded We read of a Poor Wise Man that by his Wisdom deliver'd a City yet no Man remember'd that Poor Man Yet this Text adds to the Honour of Poverty as it makes it the Touchstone to try a Friend A Friend in need is a Friend indeed And there be some tho very few that have Souls brave enough to own a Friend in a Prison A Friend loveth at all times and Prov. 17. 17. a Brother is born for Adversity For my own share for I 'le speak the Truth tho to my own praise I never lov'd a Friend the worse for being either poor miserable or * See more to this effect in my Irish Conversation p. despised Thus have I made it out to the praise of Poverty that Earth is a place of Penance and that Brown Bread and the Gospel is a 'T was a saying of Pious Dod. good Fare Earth is a place of Toil and Labour and men go not to work in their best Cloaths Men shou'd do well to furnish their Insides a little better and let the Body shift I never heard any man blamed for his Rags but I hear it upbraided to one that he went in Purple I might further add to the Honour of Poverty That the Saviour of the World was born in a Stable and tho the Foxes had Holes and the Birds of the Air had Nests yet the Son of Man had not where to lay his Head In the Poor we b Moral Essays Vol. 1 p. 145. Honour the Poverty of Iesus Christ his Humilimility in those that are Humble and his sufferances in the Afflicted Thus Madam have I sent ye my Thoughts of Poverty which tho writ in a solitary Grove yet have something in 'em that I hope will please ye and if they do tho my Notions are some of 'em New no man will ever censure 'em or if any presume to dislike what you approve of I shall not value it whilst you permit me the Honour of subscribing my self Your most Devoted Friend and Servant JOHN DUNTON The LADY's Answer to my Second LETTER SIR I Confess I have as well as you observed that
it demonstrates that Dispair is still more so and never to be entertain'd even at our latest Breath for our Lord has declared at whatsoever time a sinner shall repent he will receive him But I would have no Man put off his Repentance From this Minute I bid sâ—rewel to Covetousness Pride Ambition c. because God is merciful for he that puts off his Reâ—entance to another Day as he has one day the less to repent in so he has the loss Inclination for such a work he that defers Repentance to a Death bed 't is a Thousand to one if he repents at all for besides his aversion to such a work his distemper may seize his Brain or he may dye suddenly and for that Reason Iâ— not run the hazard of a Death-bed Repentance but do from this Minute bid farewell to 〈◊〉 Pride Ambition c. and all my beloved Sins that so I may die with a good Conscience and My Reason for making my Will have nothing to trouble me when I 'm leaving the World And in order to this I have made my Will bequeathed my Soul into the hands of a Merciful God And have as you 'l bear anon given orders about my Funeral And thus your Lady 〈◊〉 sâ—s what a Melancholy thing it is for a Man to I 'm here burying my self in Effigie Write of his own Death especially if heâ— in Health and strength for methinks now I 'm as 't were Burying my self in 〈◊〉 I mean attending my own Corpse to the Grave 'T is the last Office of love 〈◊〉 a Friend and sure I am I can follow the Corpse of none except Valeria that I love better I live now where the healthful- The weekly Bill of Mortality never less than 200. in the most Healthful-Times Bells can scarce solemnize the Funeral of any Person but that I knew him or knew that he was my Neighbour and when these Bells tell me that now one and now another is buryed must not I acknowledge that they have the Correction due to me and paid 〈◊〉 Debt that I owe. In the most healthful Times Two hundred and upwards w◠〈◊〉 constant weekly Tribute paid to Mortality in London A large Bill 〈◊〉 it must be disâ—ged Can one City spend according to this weekly rate and not be Bankâ— of People At leastwise must not my Shot be call'd for to make up the Reckoning Seven Young Men yearly taken out of Athens to be devour'd by the Monster Minotaur When only Seven young 〈◊〉 and those chosen by 〈◊〉 were but yearly taken out of Athens to be devoured by the Monster Minotaur the whole City was in a constant fright Children for themselves and Parents for their Children yea their escaping of the first was but an introduction to the next Tears Lottery Were the Dwellers and Lodgers in London-weekly to cast Lots who shou'd make up this 200 how wou'd every one be afrighted Now None regard it my security concludes the afore said Number will consist of Infants and Old-Folk Few Men of middle-Age and amidst them surely not my self But oh is not this putting the Evil-day far from me the ready way to bring it the nearest to me The Lot is Weekly drawn tho not by me for me I am therefore concern'd seriously to provide left that Death's Prize prove my Blank for the Were the Dwellers in London weekly to cast Lotts who shou'd makeup the Bill of Mortality they wou'd be all afrighted Bells tell me as I hinted-before that now one and now another is buried and must not I acknowledge that they have the Correction due to me and paid the Debt that I owe 1. Hark! how chimes the Passing-Bell There 's no Musick to a Knell All the other Sounds we hear Flatter and but Cheat our Ear 2. This doth put us still in mind That our Flesh must be resign'd And a general silence made The World be Tenant to a Shade 3. This Bell calls our Holy Grone A loud Eccho to this Tone He that on his Pillow lies Half Embalm'd before he Dies Carries like a Sheep his Life To meet the Sacrificers Knife And for Eternity is prest Sad Bell-weather to the rest But is this Sound a Passing-Bell Then to Eternity farewell Poor Soul whose doom one Hour shall show Eternal Bliss or Endless Woe If Virtues Laws thou hast despis'd How wou'd that Virtue now be priz'd Or say thou didst in our loose Age On her forsaken side engage Wouldst thou the dear Remembrance now For the Worlds Monarchy fore-go What other Medicine canst thou 〈◊〉 T' asswage the FEVER in thy Mind Now ' waken'd Conscience speaks at large And Envious Fiends enhance the Charge Let the Bold Atheist now draw near And try thy drooping Heart to chear His briskest Wine and Wit to thee Will now alike insipid be In Deaths arrest the Hector's Sword As little Service can afford Who hopes for rescue here will fail And the grim Sergeant takes no Bail Once hearing one of these Passing-Bells Ring I pray'd that the Sick-man might have through Christ. 〈◊〉 safe Voyage to his long Home Afterwards The Tolling of the Bell has through mistake made me Pray for Persons that were departed this life I understood that the Party was Dead some Hours before and it seems in some Places of London the tolling of the Bell is but a Preface of course to the ringing it out Bells are better silent than thus telling Lies What is this but giving a false Alarm to Mens Devotions to make them to be ready armed with their Prayers for the assistance of such who have already fought the good fight and gotten the Conquest Not to say that Mens Charity herein may be suspected of Superstition in praying for the Dead However my Heart thus poured out was not spilt on the Ground My Prayers too late â—o do him good came soon enough to speak my good will What I freely tendered God took according to the Integrity of my Intention The Party I hope is in Abraham's Mens Charity herein may be suspected of Superstition in praying for the Dead Bosom and my Prayers are returned into my own But ' tho sometimes the Bells misâ—ad my Devotion and I may pray perhaps for a Dead-Neighbour yet Passing-Bells are of great use for The PASSING-BELL ringing calls me into God's Church to hear and learn and to pray for the departing Soul the Grave being digged warns me to prepare for Sickness and Death and passing by the Tombs of my dead Friends puts me in mind that e're long I must come to ' em Having these frequent warnings of my own Death I often think with my self What Use we should make of the Passing-Bell what Disease I wou'd be best contented to die of none please me The Stone the Cholick terrible as expected intollerable when felt The Palsey is Death before Death The Consumption a flattering Disease cozening Men into hope of long life at the last Gasp.
long the Agitation they give us by degrees grows less till it quite â—ases Nay Zeno was wont to say That the goods of the World did more hurt then good which was the cause that made Crates the Thebane passing one day from his countrey of Athens to follow the studie of Philosophy to throw all the Gold and Silver he had about him into the Sea imagining that Vertue and Riches could never consist together Men of the Greatest Sence have generally dyed Poor Valerius Agrippa c. as also the good Arisâ—ides dyed so poor that they were fain by Alms to be buried Great Butler's Muse the same ill Treatment had Whose Verse shall Live for ever to upbraid Th' ungrateful World that left such Worth unpaid The Bard at summing up his mis spent days Found nothing left but Poverty and Praise Of all his Gain by Verse he could not save Enough to purchase Flannel and a Grave Reduc'd to want he in due time fell sick Was fain to die and be interr'd on Tick. I might also instance in Epaminondas King of Theâ—es in whose Rich House and Palace was found but one poor Straw-bed or base Mattress to put in his Inventory What says St. Chrysostom doth distinguish Angels from Men but that they are not needy as we are And 't is ever observ'd that Mens Desires encrease with their Riches and consequently they that have most are the most needy and therefore the Poor who have the least in the World come nearest to Angels and those are the furthest off who need the most He who needs says this Father in another place many things is a Slave to many things is himself the Servant of his Servants and depends more on them than they on him So that the encrease of worldly Goods and Honours being but the Increase of our slavery and dependance reduces us to a more real and effective misery What hath the Bravest of Mortals to glory in Is it Greatness Who can be Great on so small a Round as this Earth and bounded with so short a course of Time How like is that to Castles built in the Air or to Giants Model'd for a Sport of Snow which at the better Looks of the Sun do melt away But for all this says the ambitious man were I to chuse my Station I 'd be a King at least How full of Charms is it to imitate the Divine Original of Beings to see whole Kingdoms Croutching to me to be encompassed with bare Heads where e're I go to have the power of Exalting one and Debasing another of disposing of Life and Death and in short to be an Earthly God To this I answer There appears to me a greater happiness in an unenvyed Cottage than in the Noisy Crowds of Flatterers Little does the Plebcian know how heavy a Crown weighs how great the Trust is and how hard to be managed 'T is the Court that 's full of Ambition Bribes Treachery c. The Watch must be kept so strictly that there 's no time to act Vertuously But in the retired Solitudes of Poverty one Fourth of our Temptations are lost the uneasiness of the Flesh causes a search after the Quiet of the Mind I mention'd in my last Charles V. Dioclesian and several others who laid by their Scepters for Spades and I might here tell you how happy the change was But 't will be again objected That the Rich have many Friends but few if any caress the Poor I shall therefore be thought to be half mad to write thus in Praise of Poverty which is Universally despised but without any good Reason for abundance of this World is a Clog to the Christian Pilgrim With what difficulty do those that have Riches enter into the Kingdom of Heaven I hear Israel praying in Egypt quarrelling in the Wilderness when they were at their Brick-Kilns they would be at their Devotion and no sooner are they at ease but they are wrangling for their Flesh Pots I dare say many a man had not been so wicked if he had but been Poor It is the saying of a Great Divine That Solomon's Riches did him more hurt than his Wisdom did him good Affliction and Want do that many times which fair means cannot Wealth like Knowledge puffs up when Poverty makes men flock to Christ. 'T is the Poor receive the Gospel then how much better is Poverty than Riches if it carries me to Heaven Who wou'd not be a Lazarus for a Day that he might sit in Abraham's Bosom for ever Poverty is despis'd but 't is the best Physick I know not whether Prosperity have lost or Adversity recovered more None prays so heartily for his daily Bread as he that wants it Misery like Ionah's Fish sends them to their Prayers that never thought of God under their Gourd It is pity fair Weather shou'd do any harm Yet it is often seen Riches makes many forget those Friends which Want wou'd make croâ—h to But Man cannot be so much above Man as that the difference should Legitimate his Scorn Diogenes Tub was a poor House and yet Alexander would come thither to talk with him Then how welcome should that State be which keeps us humble and brings us acquainted with God Who wou'd pursue the World when Poverty makes us happy Alas Madam This World is a Lyar and he will find it so that like you and Philaret does not retreat from it But tho Men wou'd come to Heaven yet they do not like this way they like well of Lazarus in Abraham's Bosom but not at Dives Door But alas Riches like the Rose are sweet but prickly the Honey doth not counter vail the Sting they end in Vexation and like Iudas while they Kiss they Petray Riches like their Master are full of Deceit promise what they have not How many have I seen in London that by much Toil have gotten a vast Estate that at last have envied the Quiet Rest and Merry Meals of their Labourers Diogenes laying his money at his head a Thief was very busie to steal it from him which troubled him so much that he could take no rest so at last rather than he would deprive himself of his sweet sleep he threw it to him saying Take it to thee thou Wretch that I may take my Rest. And I think he was much in the right My Companion in my present Solitude is much of Diogenes Temper for he has parted with all he has and is now being Pâ—or happy in no bodies Opinion but his own There is no True Rich Man but the Contented nor truly Poor but the Covâ—tous If we can but make the best of our own and think our selves well even when others think not so we are happy persons Socrates passing through the Market cries out How much is here I do not need Nature is content with little Grace with less Poverty lies in Opinion The Characterizer of Mr. Pym p. 4. tells us of a Noble Man who once acted the Beggar 's
In his History of Providence Sense and Brains For Adam by an affectation of Knowing more than was necessary came to know more than was comfortable and an insatiate Desire of Wisdom adds this Author is certainly a Symptom of the hereditary Disease derived to us from him The First of Men from hence deriv'd his Fall He sought for Secrets and found Death withal Secrets are unfit Objects for our Eyes They blind us in beholding he that tries To handle water the more hard he strains And gripes his Hand the Less his Hand retains That Mind that 's troubled with the pleasing Itch Of knowing Secrets having flown a pitch Beyond it self the higher it ascends And strives to know the Less it apprehends 〈◊〉 God hath set us bounds to all our Disquisitions and if we do not keep within compass we forfeit our Faculties and expose our selves to all the Dangers that are out of ken whatever we do let us do prudently and have a Regard to some good end For whatsoever is more than this is more than is Needful Safe or Honourable Surely no Man will doubt this that observes what Divine Iudgments have faln upon some that wou'd ha' known more then they shou'd I cou'd heap up Instances of this Nature but shall only Relate the Judgments that befell the Curiosity of an Officer that came to Mr. Perreauds house Dr. d ee Mr. Kelly Iohn Faustus and a young man in London I begin with the Officer who was a Papist belonging to a Court of Justice This Man came out of Curiosity to Mr. Perreauds House and hearing that the Devil fore-told future things there and some Secrets he wou'd needs Question him about many Matters but Mr. Perreaud desired him to forbear Representing to him both the Sin and the Danger of it The Lawyer rejected his Counsel with Scorn bidding him Teach his own Flock and let him have the Government of himself and so proceeded to propound several Questions to the Devil as about absent Friends Private Business News and State Affairs unto all which the Devil answered him and then added Now Sir I have told you all that you have desired of me I must tell you next what you demanded not That at this very time you are propounding these Questions to the Devil such a Man whom he Named is Debauching your Wife and then he further disovered many secret and foul Practices of the Lawyer Neither was this all for in conclusion the Devil told him Now Sir let me correct you for being so bold as to Question with the Devil you shou'd have taken the Ministers safe Counsel Then upon a sudden the whole Company saw the Lawyer drawn by the Arm into the midst of the Room where the Devil whirled him about and gave him many Turns with great swiftness touching the ground only with his Toe and then threw him down upon the Floor with great violence and being taken up and carry'd to his house he lay sick and distracted a long a Ses the Narrative of the Devil of Mascon time The Curiosity of Dr. Dee was also severely punish'd This man was an Excellent Scholar and Mathematician of the University of Oxford he was desirous of a great deal of Knowledge which was commendable enough but making it his Prayer to God to make him wiser than the rest of Mankind he was by the Divine Judgment given over to strong Delusions and sadly impos'd upon by the Apparition of Evil Spirits under the disguise of good Angels who promis'd to help him to the Philosophers Stone but never left him till they had drein'd him of what Wealth he had so that he died very poor and every way miserable AllMen adds my Author may take warning by this Example how they put themselves out of the protection of Almighty God either by unlawful Wishes or by seeking to Devils Witches Conjurers Astrologers Fortune-tellers and * Dr. M. Casaubon's Relat. of Dr. Dee's Actions with Spirits Pr. the like I shou'd next relate the Judgment that fell upon Edward Kelly for prying too far Secret things belong to God and therefore said one of the Fathers where the Scripture has not a mouth to speak we shou'd not have an Ear to hear but this Curious Wretch forgetting this Consults with the Devil he 'd rather go to Hell for Knowledge than be ignorant of any thing But see the Event of this Vain-Curiosity for Dr. Casaubon tells us that clambering over a Wall in his own house in Prague which bears his Name to this day he fell down from the Battlements broke his Legs and so bruised his Body that he dyed in a few days Then again there was Iohn Faustus must needs study the Black-Art that he might Know more than others and that he might ne'er be puzled with Nice Questions 't is said he led about with him an Evil Spirit in the likeness of a Dog to consult with as occasion offer'd But for all his Familiar Devil Divine Vengeance followed his Curiosity for coming into an Inn in the Dukedome of Wittenburg he sat very sad and when his host demanded the cause thereof he answered that he wou'd not have him affrighted if he heard a Noise and shaking of the house that Night which hapned according to his own Prediction for in the Morning he was found dead by his bed-side with his Neck wrung behind him and the house where he lay beaten down †VVanly Hist. Man to the ground Neither must I forget to mention the Bold Curiosity of that Young Man Mr. Baxter mentions There is saith Mr. Baxter now in London a Youth the Son of a very Godly Conforming Minister who reading a Book of that Art called Conjuration coming to the Words and Actions which that Book said wou'd cause the Devil to appear was presently desirous to see him He came saith he to me in Terror having before opened his Case to a Parish Minister and affirmed to me that the Devil had appeared to him and solicited him with a Knife to cut his Throat and told him he must do it suddenly for he wou'd stay no longer Mr. Baxter told him how safe he was if he repented of his Vain Curiosity but never heard of him more 〈◊〉 might enlarge but here be Instances enough to check our Vain Curiosity and to shew how ill those Men succeed that to be cured of the Athenian Itch go to the Devil for Brimstone Sure I am to give way to Vain Curiosities will disquiet our Minds but will never amend ' em Yet we have a wicked Custom in London of Gentlemens studying the Controversies for Ornament not taking them to Heart nor handling them with that Reverence they ought but Nice Points have never been my study I ne'er put my Sickle into the Divines Harvest but leave Disputations to those whom God hath marked for his Ministry Or suppose which was never known I shou'd Itch but Once to try how pleasing Sin wou'd be yet at Adam's Price I
these unwellcome Tydings there was a great stir within the City the People assembled to the Market Place search was made for the Author of this Rumor Hereupon the Barber was haled before the Body of the People and being examined hereof he knew not so much as the Name of the Party from whom he had heard the News Upon which the whole Assembly were so moved to Anger that they cryed Away with the Villain set the Rascal upon the Rack have him to the Wheel who had devised this Story of his own fingers ends The Wheel of Torture was brought and the Barber was tormented upon it In the mean while there came certain News of that Defeat and thereupon the Assembly broke up leaving the Barber racked out at length upon the Wheel till it was late in the Evening at which time he was let loose yet was no sooner at liberty but he must enquire News of the Executioner what he had heard abroad of the General Nicias and in what manner he was slain So that Men have such a hankering after Novelties that they 'd even die to see something New and this Itch after News is become as General as 't is Fallacious The Poor Taylor that works in a Carret can scarce forbear leaving his Goose to run to a Coffee-house to ask if the Pope be recovered A constant Companion to this House going in all haste for a Midwife or to save the Life of a Friend was dying must call in and drink at least two Dishes of Coffee and smoak his Pipe that he may know how the World goes abroad let it go how it will at home Oh what precious Time do the London Coffee-houses devour and therefore 't is Dr. Wilde tells us News and New Things do the whole World bewitch But by your leave Dr. you may be mistaken for all are not born or live in Athens tho to their shame most are sick of the Athenian Diseâ—se in a desire to hear and seek News which they never find For Doctor I shall prove anon there is no such thing neither do they reflect upon what they hear for they seek only News for News sake and make it their business to go to the Wits * By Covent-Garden C ffee-house to Dicks to Ionathan's to Bridge's to Ioe's to Smith's to pick up News and then to report it to the next they meet and to be sure it loses nothing by carrying But there are some that were never tainted with this Athenian Itch. I have heard my Father often say he never was at a Coffee-house in his whole Life But he 's the only Instance of that kind that I ever knew yet I cant think him a New Instance for doubtless there be Men of the same Principle There be no Humane Actions that we see now a days but what have been practised in times past Yet I must own that before the War the Coffee-house was a place whither people only came after Toping all day to purchase at the expence of their last Penny the Repute of Sober Companions for Coffee is a Sober Liquor but now they are the Congress of Rome Venice Spain Geneva Amsterdam and are flockt to by all as the Mint of Intelligence Hither the Idle Vulgar come and go Carrying a Thousand Rumors to and fro With stale Reports some list'ning Ea s do fill Some coyn fresh Tales in words that vary still Lies mixt with Truth all in the Telling grows And each Relator adds to what he knows All Acts of Heav'n and Earth it boldly views And thro the spacious World enquires for NEWS The Coffee-house where News is so much enquir'd for is no better than a Nursery for training up the smaller Fry of Virtuosi in confident tatling But en't it strange that any shou'd be so mad as to run from Coffee house to Coffee-house to pick up News when in reality there is no such thing For what has the Name of News which like the Athenians of old they so Itch after is no other as my Poem shews than newly augmented Lyes Relations soâ—nd diversly as the Air of Affection carries them and sometimes in a whole Volley of News we shall not find one true Report and therefore 't was the Advice of a Father to his Son Let the greatest part of the News thou hearest be the least part of what thou believest lest the greatest part of what thou believest be the least part of what is true And where Lies are admitted for News the Father of Lies will not easily be excluded Perhaps what they miscall News may have some Ground of Truth for its beginning but being tost from one to another it is buried and lost in the multitude of New Additions and there 's nothing we can warrant for Pure News But then you 'll object Those Additions are New No Madam Terrence tells ye the contrary by saying Nihil est jam Dictum quod non Dictum sit Prius Nothing is spoken now but what has been said in former times And that Philosopher Renaudots tells us our very thoughts tho they be innumerable yet if they were Registered would be all found ancient Thento what purpose do we hunt for News Tis'true those Papers that pretend to News tell us sometimes of a Kings being beheaded and what is King Iames's Abdication but a Parallel Case of an Earl's Cutting his own Throat and then flinging the Razor out of the Window of the penitent Death of some great Lord of a Bloody Fight of a Lover hanging himself of a Virgin Ravisht of a Wise Alderman and now and then of a Woman C ding her Husband c. But these tho Real Truths are no New Things but what we have seen over and over Not but I must own if there were a New Thing under the Sun the Author of the Flying Post wou'd find it out But he 's an honest Gentleman and writes nothing but Truth and Truth is always the same and if his Papers be always the same what News can there be in them Or say his Papers were all Invention which comes neareâ—l to News of any thing that is not so yet still they were void of News for Invention is nothing else for the most part but a Simple Imitation in Deeds or Words So that the Flying Post Post-Man and Post-Boy do Weekly labour in vain for all their Pretence to News is no better than an Old Design to enrich the Bookseller which I don't tell as a Piece of News but as a thing acknowledg'd by ev'ry Hawker But tho we are disappointed of News where we most expect it yet whoever is troubled with Impertinent Fancies or wou'd hear ridiculous Storie â—e need but step to the Coffee-house and here the several Humors of the pretended News-mongers is worth Remark One begins ye the Story of a Sea-Fight and tho he never was so far as Wapping yet having Pyrated the Names of Ships and Captains he tells you Wonders that he waded up to the middle
LETTER VI. Proving 'tis a Happiness to be in Debt Madam IN my last Letter I acquainted your Ladiship that I had made a considerable Progress in the Art of Living incognito and that I was now oblig'd to live sâ— whether I would oâ— no I was ever in love wiâ— A PRIVATE LIFE 〈◊〉 ' â—is my misfortune now and the only thing in the World that â—bles me that my oblâ—gations to some People drive me as much as my own inclinations to a lonesome-Cell Madam you 'l admire at this for you see by my See my Printed Case p. 7. PRINTED CASE that all I owe in the World is scarce 250 Pounds which I must think is a TRIFLING SUM as 't is not the 15th part Lands are worth if you take in present Possessions and Reversions and of what my 〈◊〉 scarce the tenth part of what my Wife an only Child has a Title to at her Mothers Death and which she cannot injoy without me for I wish I cou'd see that Man that dares keep her from me when I send for her a which I shall at Midsummer if not Sooner But for all this Plenty on both sides at present I have a little occasion for Money yet neither she nor her Mother will permit me to take up the Small SUM I want So that 't is clear tho' we Solemnly took each other for RICHER FOR b See the Reflectione on my Printed Case p. 2. POORER that nothing but Money parts us and this is evident by her saying as I can prove by a dozen Witnesses that she had been a miserable Woman had she Married any Man but my self But I had only such fair words whilst they cost her nothing however my comfort is a little Time will work my Deliverance without her but in the mean time I am pinch'd as I 'm forc'd to trespass on my generous Friends but seeing ev'ry Man is willing to make his present Circumstance as easie as he oâ—n that I may make a Vertue of Necessity as well as others this Subject of this Letter shall be An Essay proving 't is a Happiness to be in Debt You see Madam by this Assertion 't is a very strange case which can find no Advocate what is it that fancy cannot put a varnish on A porson'd Pill may be gilded over as well as that which is wholesome Favorinus long ago wrote in the commendation of a Quartan Ague the soul Disease hath not wanted a Pen to excuse and commend it others have made a very bad Wise the Subject of their Commendation because they say She brings a Man to Repentance But of all barren Subjects that have been yet writ upon this of proving 't is a Happiness to be in Debt I judge will be most surprizing I own at present I Live Incognito that I may be rendered uncapable of contracting any more Debts yet I shall endeavour to prove 't is a Happiness to be in Debt 'T is true for my own part I 'd rather sell my Coat from my Back than owe any thing and therefore in 15 YEARS TRADING I never set any Man call twice for Money and 't is my Advice to ev'ry Citizen that is in Debt that he pays ev'ry Man his own the he â—ares himself not worth a Gâ—eat or it he compounds to pay a patt nevertheless let him resolve to satisfy all to the full if his endeavours and God's Blessing ever again inables him If our Citizen Acts thus By suffering he shall Conquer The Romans overcame sitting still 't is a comfort to remember Iob's beginning and ending Tribulation refines the Understanding Hannibal deservedly boasted of himself Age Prosperity and Adversity have so Instructed me that I had rather follow Reason than Fortune He had never attdin'd this pitch of discomment â—ad for his decliming Fortines obliged him to surmount all difficulties by his Conduct The Rich Chabot wou'd be Symboliz'd by a Ball with this Inscription Being Smitten I Rise higher Men in prosperity are seldom Religious But no Whip is more likely to reform the unfortunate or gives a shrewder Lasâ— than the Labells of a Bond or Obligation with a Noverint Universi He therefore and only he gets by his breaking who is more humble pitiful mortified given to Pryer c. Thus Madam having first told you my Notiâ—s of â—ustice I hope I may now without offence to those few I 'm engaged to Prove 't is a Happiness to be in Debt and most live as if they belseved as much For to run in Debt ouw adays is the Fashion from the Lord to the Cobler 't is become a saying he Pays like Quality that is he is Dun-Proof and thinks it a mean thing to pay his Debts and this is not only the Practice of some Rich Men for the greatest part are of a Nobler Principle but also of the poorer Gentry Mr. Marshal of B mer told me yesterday of a Gentleman that drop'd 25. 6d as he was mounting his Horse the Hostler stoop'd for it and wou'd sain have given it him Prithee Friend take it said the Gentleman for ' twan't worth my stooping for when at the same time he owed more then he was worth sure such as these think 't is a Happiness to be in Debt or thâ—y'd never be thus Prodigal But I wonder how they can sleep in quiet that are thus injurious to others and I find Augustus Caesar of the same mind for hearing it talk'd in his Court what a huge Sum of Money a certain Knight in Rome ovâ—ed at his Death and that all his Goods were to be Sold to make Payment of his Dâ—bts Commanded the Master of his WARDROBE to buy for him that BED wherein this Knight used to lye for says he if I cannot Sleep soundly in that Bed wherein he cou'd Sleep that owed so much then surely I shall Sleep in none But some han't been so forward to run in Debt but others have been as forward to punish their Injustice The Debt being confessed amongst the Romans Thirty Days were allowed the Debtor for the payment of the Money The Money not paid the Debtor was delivered up as a Servant to his Creditor he was sometimes cast into Prison and unless the Creditor were in the mean time compounded with he remained Threescore Days in Prison and Three Market Days being brought before the Judge the Debt was Solemnly proclaimed and upon the third Market Day he was either Sold to Foreigners for a Slave or else was Punished by Death each Ceditor being suffered if he wou'd to cut a piece of his Dead Body instead of payment a Roman Antiquities Asychis made as odd a Law against bad Debtors as this 't was that the Dead Bodies shou'd be in the Creditors keeping 'till the Debt were paid and I 'm told 't is common in England to Arrest the Corps of a Debtor as 't is carrying to the Grave But one wou'd admire that Men that stand in need of mercy themselves shou'd be
innocent ways of contracting Debts 't is much to be admir'd Men could be so Ignorant of the Condition of Human Life as to insult over the misfortunes of others and not think ' emselves as liable to ' em But this is the priviledge Adversity carries with it to give in Experience of our own Imbecility and the many changes we are subjected to in this Life which brings us to the pursuit of a more lassing Happiness in another World and to Retirement from this in which we find full leisure for usefull Thoughts and Reflections upon our pass'd misâ—es The Debtor now sees plainly there 's not a weaker Threatner nor stronger Flatterer then Fortune while the World was his Friend he had the same Partial Affection for it as most persons usually have for those that loves 'em but the Treatment Debtors receive from it soon opens their Eyes to see the change their Fortune makes in it and can with Hannibal resolve to follow a better Guide that will deal more truly with 'em and convince 'em of the HAPPYNESS OF POOR DEBTORS that can't Pay For the World takes so many ways of payment by exposing 'em to the Publick in all maâ—r of ill reflections will they have given their Pride and Malice more then full Satisfaction for the want of their Money that at last they make themselves their Debtors no less tho' in another kind which such an Adversity will teach 'em that Humlity to bear and the Charity to forgive and tâ—'s a blessed condition that brings 'em acquainted with two such Graces And this condition is no lesâ— Friend to true Mortification which till we have attain'd our Soul is not in a right State for 't is like a Man Hen-Peck'd by his Wife the Body domineers over the Soul and â—gages it in all the Follies that Chaâ—m its Brâ—ish Senses and so ranverses all Peace and Order till the Soul assumes its Authority by Subjecting the Body which is so hard to do tho' the Happiness of this Life and the Next depends upon it One may well esteem it the heighth of Felicity to be many condition that facilitates it And in this consists the Debtors Priviledge the World accounts all Favoâ— lost upon him and so withâ—raws all Temptations and his necessitous Fortune ours off all Eâ—ess from his depâ—ed Appetites and the Devil will then leave him as he did Iob 〈◊〉 he had no Accomplices left to assist him and so a Debtor seeâ— his Thâ— Great Enemies Conquered by his Patient Suffering This may be every Debtors Case that Studies to gain by his Afflictions the Improvement of his Vertues rather than give up himself to base and wicked compliance with the Rich and Powerful or râ—ing into vain Presumptuous Projects in hopes of a more speedy relief when by waiting upon God and using only such meane as he appoints he may expect a Blessed End of his troubles in this Life or if he patiently submits to Gods Will 〈◊〉 full as â—appy for 〈◊〉 is uneasy to think others should suffer upon his accâ—unt yet if he spares what 's possible from himself using all the means in his power God will not be wanting either to assist him to pay or to support his Creditors under the loss This in general may be said of the Happiness of being in Debt nor does the oddness of your CASE exclude you from any of the Priviledges that poor Debtors enjoy tho your Prospect is not so desperate as theirs but no DEPENDANCE can be fix'd on in this 〈◊〉 certain World therefore must wait the issue In the mean time I perceive you study to pay with thanks and grateful acknowledgments what ever you owe or think you owe and your mistake GIVES ME A SHARE tho' I know nothing of any such â—retence I can have therefore to own it would be very unconscionable and unbecoming Your c. POSTSCRIPT WHilst I was finishing the last Sheet of this Book my Ingenious Friend Mr. GEORGE LARKIN Senjor sent me the following Lines Intituled An Acrostick to his Worthy and much Esteemed Friend Mr. JOHN DUNTON Upon his Art of Living Incognito J â—ognito to Live's an ART indeed O Happy 's he that can therein succeed H e only knows how to Command his Fate N othing can make that Man Unfortunate D oing to Aâ— what you 'd have done to You U sing the World yet bidding it Adieu N ot to be Seen yet ev'ry thing to See T his sure to Live Incognito must be O Happy Life of which I only know 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 can live â—er than Incognito 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 â—d if thou do'st this Aâ— Pursue 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 thy â—cholar be and learn it too FINIS 〈◊〉 Written by JOHN DUNTON 1. THE Second Part of the Art of living Incognito will speedily go to the Press if this First meets with Encouragement and contains the following Letters viz. 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 Of every Thing Letter 8. Dunâ— represented as Dead and Buried on an Essay upon his own Funeral Letter 9. A Morning 's thought on these Words The time of Singing of Birds is come Latter 10. â—d to my Summer Friends Letter 11. In Praise of Sore-Eyes Letter 12. On the Riding made for Women that beat their Husbands Letter 13. An Essay upon dead Mens Shoes Letter 14. On the Royal Sport of Coâ— Fighting Letter 15. In Praise of the Tooth Ach. Letter 16. The Character of that HONOURABLE LADY to whom these Letters were sent 17. Of Bargaining for a Wife or an Essay upon Jointureâ— Letter 18. Of being ask'd in the Church with the Answers that have been given to this Question Do any of you know cause or â—st Impediment why these two Persons shou'd not be joyn'd together in Holy 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 Letter â—9 〈◊〉 the doing Penance in a White Sheet 〈◊〉 other Uncom◠〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 To each of these Letters which are all written 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 LADâ— has return'd a particular Answer which is 〈◊〉 to each Letter Price Stitch'd 〈◊〉 2. An Essay proving we shall know our Frieâ— in 〈◊〉 occasioned by the Death of my First Wife and dedicated to her 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 Sâ— in a 〈◊〉 to a Reverenâ— Divine The 〈◊〉 Edition is ready for the◠〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 6â— 3. The Dublin 〈◊〉 with some account of my 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 In several Letters to the Spectators Price bo◠〈◊〉 4. The Case of Iohn 〈◊〉 Citizen of 〈◊〉 with respect to his Mother in Law M◠〈◊〉 Nicholâ— of 〈◊〉 â—ans and her only Child Sarah Dunton with the just Reasons 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 leaving her In a Letter 〈◊〉 Mr. Georgee Larkin Senior To which 〈◊〉 his Letter to his Wife Price 〈◊〉 3â— Reflections on Mr. Duntons leaving his Wife in a Letter to himself 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 ☞ All 5 sold by A. Baldwin near the Oxford 〈◊〉 in Warwick Lane THE SECOND PART Of the ART of Living Incognito OR DUNTON Represented as Dead and Buried In an ESSAY upon his own FUNERAL To which is added His Essay upon every Thing Being a Continuation
ta kes her Farewell of Earth A meditation upon the fight of a Dead-man And Death said I will strike anon Then to dull Life I bid a long Farewell And stretcht for flight But as the last grains fell Death fail'd my flatter'd hopes and turn'd the Glass But tho' my Soul and Body en't yet parted yet I have convers'd too long with the World already so that now I 'll suppose my self a dead Man At the Sight whereof were I living I wou'd thus meditate Teach me O Lord so to number my Days that I may apply my Heart unto Wisdom for I see by this dead Friend here lying before me we soon pass away and are gone All Flesh I see in this Instance is Grass and the Beauty of it as the flower of the Field Thou oh God hast determined the number of my Days which I cannot pass And I see here in my dead Friend what will follow the Separation of my Soul and Body As long as this Tabernacle lodged the Soul of my Friend it was sensible active cou'd hear â—ee speak or move but now that Guest is driven forth there is nothing in it but breeds my abhorence so that I now see all Confidence in Man is vain and that I shall soon become I 've said nothing of the manner of my Dying but what I 've observed in the Death of others as Pale and Wan at this Dead-Corpse which I here behold with Terrour and Amazement And Lord help me to consider that as this Body is dead without the Soul so both Soul and Body without Grace So much for the supposed manner of my Dying and for those useful Thoughts that a Sight of my Dead-Corpse might afford in which I 've advanc'd nothing but what I 've observ'd in the Death of others especially of my dear Iris My Breath being gone I 'll next suppose my self Laid out for â—ead I 'm now Stript and Dress'd in a Shroud and now the Cry of the House is Bury the Dead out of my Sight Being now Stript and Drest in a Shroud great Care is taken by my Executor for I know he 'll be punctual to observe my Will that my Body be kept veiled and secret and not exposed to curious Eyes neither shou'd Cyrus wou'd have no Man stare in his Face after his Death the Dishonours wrought upon the Face by the Changes of Death be star'd upon by impertiâ—ent Persons When Cyrus was Dying he called his Sons and Friends to take their leave of him to touch his Hand to see him the last time and gave in Charge that when he had put his Veil over his Face No Man spou'd uncover it And Epiphanius's Body was resâ—d from inquisitive Eyes by a Miracle But nothing A sight of my Dead-Body shou'd affect my Relations of this will disturb the Dead but a sight of my Dead-Body shou'd affect the Living Then now all my Friends if you ben't dâ—wn'd in Tears come and observe what a Change is here What a Change indeed For my trembling Soul being fled Lo how the Successors Valeria makes a shift to cry for my Death of Sin do trample upon these Mud-walls and demolish my House of Clay This dismal sight one would think shou'd squeeze out a few Tears if not from my Heir who has Sign'd Seal'd and deliver'd and is hasty to Bury me yet surely it will from the Dear Valeria for tho some Wives Bury their Husbands only with a sow'r Visage Mask'd over with Dissimulation contracting like the Ephesian Matron second Marriages before they have worn out their Mourning Garments But Valeria may pass for a better Wife For When her dear Spouse's last Departure's nigh See where this Fubbs has made a shift to cry But I 'm Box'd up the Parli'ment be thanked Whose Act has made my Rime in Woollen Blanket Being laid in my Coffin come hither Valeria and view me a little The Chinesses always before they Bury their Dead if he was a Marryed Man bring him to his Wife that so she might first Kiss him and bid him Farewel when you have done this prithee Valeria gaze upon me see in A good Iointure signifies nothing to a Dead Wife my Dead Phiz what Comfort you will have of your Iointure which you once kept to my Ruin when you come to this For pridâ—ee try the Experiment If you shou'd put a Bâ—g of Guineas into my Hand I shou'd let it fall or cou'd you give me Sampâ— ' twoud be too heavy to carry to the other World for don't you see that my Eyes are closed and I observe nothing Then Valeria view me well uâ—ver my Face again for A Dead Husband is worth observing a dead Husband is worth observing and you 'll find the Luminaries of my Body which us'd to shine with a living Brightness like the Gelly of a slâ—g Meteor lie now â—tombed in Darkness and that ruddy Hue which gave the Name of Flesh to this whited Earth hath either chang'd its Colour or its Place In a Word my Head Arms Body Legs c. have now left their Motion and lie as still as a Wife could wish who loves nothing of her Husband but the Iointure he has left her No wonder then she refused to come when I sent for her but has reserv'd all her Love for my dead Body which perhaps she 'll wash with a Tear or two as it looks kind and will cost her nothing neither need she make any use of an Onion for 't is observ'd of Widows they have Tears at command See where The Treasure of my Bosom doth appear Now coming to my Corpse with her drow'd Eyes For Iointure brings her where her Husband dies To whose pale Relick she devoutly Payes Obedience real as her Love and Brays With many Tears till quite dissolv'd in them She SEEMS contriv'd into a Walking-Sream As Destiny had meant her to descend From Rivers only but to serve this end Next let my Sisters drop their pious-Rain Larkin and Kenswell too will Weep in vain For none can soften my stiff Clay agâ—in Whilst my Eye thus amazedly wonders o'er my Dead Body methinks I In the supposed View of my dead Body I behold other Mens Fate as well as my own view in it other Mens Fate as well as my own Then blessed Lord let me Die daily that when Death shall be swallowed up in Victory and the numberless Atoms of my Dust shall by thy Almighty Power be new moulded into a Body my Soul may make a re-entry and be both glorified together Death we do now behold thee gay and glad As at Dooms-day When Souls shall wear their new Aray And all thy Bones with Beauty shall be clad Therefore we can go Die as Sleep and trust Half that we have Unto an an honest faithful Grave Making our Pillows either Down or Dust Herbert My Corruption belongs to the maintaining of of the Order of the Universe I lie merrily down in my
shall leave behind me I make this following Disposal all my just Debts being first paid and-by Debts I mean whatever shall be prov'd to be so after my Decease or whatever my Executor hereafter nam'd can by diligent searching find out that I owe I bequeath the following Legacies to Graffham Frome Chesham Aston Missenden Iver New-street And here I presume so far as to give your Ladyship Mourning and a Ring with this Inscription In remembrance of Daphne and Philaret What I mean by my debts To my most esteem'd and eternal Friend Mr. George Larkin Sen. who I am sure will be a True Mourner at my Funeral I give not only Mourning Legacies bequeath'd to Graffham Frome c. which will soon wear out but also a Ring with this Motto Thy love to me was wonderful passing the Love of Women I also give him as a farther Testimony of our Inviolable Friendship what is not here express'd To that Generous and Uirtous Person whose tender care of me in my To the honourable Lady Sickness has through the Divine Blessing more than once sav'd my Life I give c. as a grateful Token of that seasonable Care wherewith I was assisted in my greatest Extremity I have also remembred my obliging To George Larkin Sen. and diligent Friends Mr. George Kenswel and his Wife for that great Fidelity and Readiness to serve me which they have exprest upon all To the Person that took care of me in my Sickness occasions Neither have I forgot my Cousin Elizabeth Iohnson for that matchless Tenderness she shew'd to my first Wife during her Sickness of near 40 Weeks continuance To my only Brother Mr. Lake Dunton and to my Sisters Sarah Mary and Elizabeth I have been more To George Kenswel and his Wife kind than perhaps they expect I next bequeath to the generous Lutwich and to my two Sisters D ld and I th such a Legacy as shews I have been oblig'd To the Reverend S T I give Twenty Pounds to To Elizab. Iohnson Preach my funeral Sermon that Day I am Buried upon this Text They shall lye down alike in the Dust and the Worms shall cover them To my To my only Brother and my Sisters faithful Friend Mr. Richard Wild the sole manager of all the Auctions I made in Dublin I bequeath c. as an acknowledgment of the extraordinary Services he did me in that Kingdom To my ancient Landlord Mr. Wilkins of Diversother Legacies Boston in New England I also be queath c. as a requital for his great Civilities to me and my Servant Palmer I also give to my try'd Friends the Booksellers Printers and Stationers of London 105. each to buy 'em a Ring with this Inscription Speak evil of no Man And to my Summer Friends I give all my Gratitude * Mention'd in my Printed Case p. 1. for I find they need it and that they may hereafter do as they 'd be done by I bequeath to 'em all that Readiness with which I serv'd 'em both with my Person and Cash when no body else wou'd but least their change of Fortune for they keep their Coach shou'd make 'em My Legacy to my Summer Friends forget this 't is my desire that the Letters they formerly sent me be return'd to 'em that they may see how Black Ingratitude is for they now deny to have receiv'd those Favours which in these Letters they declare they could never requite When I meet 'em they scarce know me The Remembrance of old Favours shou'd live even in the blows of Injury One of these is so Haughty that if I meet him by accident for Summer Friends never visit but when the Sun shines he scarce knows me or if he stoops so low as to give me a Nod he does it in such a manner as shews he forgets how deeply I engaged for him at a time when SOME BODY wou'd not and his other Friends made too small a Figure to serve him 'T is true to a generous mind the Remembrance of old Favours wou'd live even in the blows of Injury but do an ungrateful Person 99 Kindnesses and refuse him the Hundreth for so I did being provok'd to it and he thinks you cancel all your former Obligations such Monsters when they are oblig'd beyond a possibility of Requital their way is to unmake or to lessen those Favours they can't requite and to abuse their very Benefactors such Friends as these My Summer Friends compar'd to a fawning Spaniel act like a fawning Spanniel who when he gets out of the River shakes off that very Water alias Magots which supported him And I don't doubt but others of this mean Spirit have been ready to blame me for publishing my private Case but their dislike of my Conduct makes me the more approve I could never creep for Interest on 't I cou'd never creep for Interest and Men of greater Sence and Honesty both advised to it and judged it the best thing I could do for my quiet and I have found it so and therefore I shall never repent of any thing I did in that Publication but for ever own my Obligations to those that promoted Page 2. We shou'd requite the least courtesy we receive it then if the Reflecter on my Case says true that I 'm a Man of so grateful a Temper that I study to requite the least Courtesy from meer Strangers c. surely I can't leave a better Legacy to my Summer Friends then to bequeath my Gratitude amongst ' em To that worthy and Ingenious Gentleman Mr. G R I give c. or in case of his Death I give this sum to his Wife or if she dies to his Son or in case of his Death to his nearest of Kin for the generous Favours Mr. R has done me shall ne'er be forgot whilst I have a Penny in the World or he has a Relation alive To the Members of the Athenian Society as 't was my darling Project I bequeath Mourning To the Nightingale I give my Constancy Platonick Letters and contempt of Grandeur I next give to the Poor where I was born the sum of And to the Parish where I dye as much I My Legacy to the reverend Divine that married me also give to that Reverend Divine that Married me 10â— to Preach and afterwards Print a Sermon against Covetousness To the sweet Town of St. Albans I bequeath all my Printed Cases that shall be left unsold at the time of my Death I bequeath 'em to this Town as herein is a true State of my Case with respect to Madam Iane Nicholas and her only Child Sarah To the sweet Town of St. Albans Dunton with an Answer to all the Lies that either Revenge Malice or Coverousness can spit at me in any of the three Kingdoms neither is there one Line in this Printed Case but what I 'd assert to be true were I More Legacies now
dying and therefore I can't understand Valeria's Policy in not sparing 500 l. out of 6000 l. seeing I do resolve if she will be happy it shall only be with her Husband for I marry'd her for Richer for Poorer and as we embark'd in the same COURT-SHIP so I do assure her we 'll Sink or Swim together But Solomon tell us there 's a time to embrace and a time to refrain from embracing and therefore tho' the Law is Eloquent and There 's a time to embrace and a time to refrain fromembracing will perswade her to Live with me yet till I see a fair opportunity I shan't turn my Addresses into a Legal-Courtship for I had rather that kind methods should melt her into Love and Tenderness However my Wife is my proper Goods and I 'll Pound that Man whoever he is that offers to steal her from me or that endeavours by any Device or by flattering her Mother My Wife is my proper Goods to defraud me of that which she solemnly promis'd me before marriage for as 't is a Promise in Writing 't is as much a Debt in the Court of Conscience and in the Court of Chancery too as if I had a Bond or Mortgage A promise in writing is a debt in the Court of Conscience and in the Court of Chancery too to secure it to me And as I am able to prove such a Promise in Writing so I can also prove by a letter under her Artornies Hands that she was fully satisfied with my Estate But why shou'd we give Money to promote the Laâ— It wou'd be more like Christians to give it to promote the Gospel Besides if I had Ualeria's Company and a small matter to make me easy I have all I desire and when she sends me the same Message yil run to meet her with open Arms she shall then even Rule me and all I have by her voluntary and ready obedience But the Bags The Attorneys Letter gave satisfaction about my Estate lie so high in her way at present that she can't get over 'em but when she falls to dispersing this gilded Rubbish all misunderstanding will be then remov'd and the same Hour I hear the News the Bells of St. Albans shall Ring as loud for our Reconciliation as ever they did for our first Marriage neither shall the Poor of that Town be forgot that so Heaven may Valeria's Company is all I desire continue us a happy Couple But this is News that I don't expect and therefore I bequeath all my Printed Cases except the Case should be alteâ—'d to my old Friends of St. Albans that by comparing the Truth with those many The Bags lie so high in her way that she can't get over ' em Lyes they have heard they may defend the Cause of an injuâ—'d Stranger who did not come till he was sent for and therefore 't is fit he should have civil Treatment And in the last Place I give to the Dear Valeria my present Wife A Ring with this Inscription Set your Affections on things above The Bells of St. Albans shall ring as loud for our Reconciliation as ever they did for our first Marriage for seeing she talks so much of going to her God instead of giving her Money to Adore and Worship I freely bequeath her to God who gave her 'T is true she has a Rich Mother and I might justly bequeath her to her for the Reasons mentioned in my Printed Case and I have a President for the leaving her Mother such a Legacy as this for we read Endamidas dying Poor left his Aged Mother to Aretaeus and his young Daughter to Charixenus two Rich Friends of his the one to be maintain'd 'till she dyed and the other 'till she Marryed and the Heirs as soon as they heard of this Will came forth and accepted those things that were given in Charge But suppose I had no such President as this to bestow her Daughter upon her yet one wou'd think I cou'd not leave her a better Legacy than her own Child but seeing she won't part with her Bags now she 'll less do it when I am Dead and therefore out of pure Love I chuse rather to bequeath her to God who gave her and tho' I en't like to be Buryed with â—er Legacies her her precious Dust being to Feast the St. Alâ—ns worms in the Abby Church where her Father hes and not the Phanatick-worms of the New-Burying-place yet I hope she 'll there rest in Peace and hearafter meet me in Heaven But if she grows so obliging as to deliver me from my Present Grievance that I may HONESTLY have Issue by her to it I wou'd leave 1 Chron. 28. 9. and I pray God see it executed according to my Will And for her self were she thus kind I wou'd turn her Iointure into a Deed of Gift which would double the value of it and make it the Study of my whole Life to please her Having in these Legacies endeavour'd to satisfie my self my Friends and my dear Spouse It is farther my Will That for the Payment of these Debts and Legacies If my present Wife happen to survive me that The growth of my Woods will Pay all I owe in 5 Years time my Executor Sell my Woods and the Reversion of my Estate as soon as ever I am Buryed but in case I survive her I 'll pay 'em my self in a Weeks time But if neither of our Deaths happen let no Man question his Money for the Growth of my Woods in about five Years Time will pay all I owe what I owe not being the fifteenth Part of what my Estate is worth No Debts in my Shop-Books to be receiv'd c. 'T is farther my VVill that no Debts in any of my Shop-books be receiv'd from any Person that is not fully satisfied he owes me what he is charged with I insert this that no neglects of crossing Accounts tho' I hope there 's none may be an Injury to any Man 'T is also my Will that all the Promises I ever made provided they are My Promises to be all perform'd fully proved be as punctually perform'd by my Executor as if the Persons to whom they were made had 'em under my Hand and Seal So much for my Debts and Legacies My Body not to be Buried till the 7th day after my Decease As to my Funeral and Grave c. 'T is my Will that the 7th Day after my Decease and not before my own Mother coming to Life that Day she was to be Buried my Executor see me nail'd down in an Elm-Coffin such a one as was made for my first Wife My Reverend Father Mr. Iohn Dunton in his last VVill speaking concerning his Funeral My Father's Funeral says 'T is his Desire that his Funeral might not be perform'd 'till seven Days after his Decease which Request was occasion'd as I hinted before by his first Wives lying seemingly
Dead for 3 Days and afterwards coming My Mothers seeming Death to Life again to the Admiration of all that saw her This was also a Custom among the Romans to keep the Body 7 Days unburyed Washing the Corpse every Day with hot Vinegar and sometimes with Oil that if the Body were only in a Slumber and not quite â—ead it might by these hot Causes be revived After being kept Seven-Days unburyed 't is my desire that my Body be conveyed in a decent Manner to where I desire Mr. shou'd Preach my Funeral Sermon for the Benefit of my surviving Friends The Custom of Preaching Funeral Sermons very Ancient This Custom of Preaching Funeral-Sermons is very old and of great use for Dr. Taylor tells us that antiently the Friends of the Dead used to make Funeral-Orations and the Custom descended but in the Channel of Time it mingled it self in the Veins of the Earth through which it passed And now a Days Men that Die are commended at a Price and the Measure of their Legacy is the degree of their Vertue But these things I 'd have nothing said of me at my Funeral but my Abhorrence of Covetousness and Backbiting ought not to be and therefore 't is my Desire that nothing be said of me so many are my Sins and Infirmities save my Abhorrence of Covetousness and of Backbiting as for Covetousness I ever thought it a Beggarly-Vice and I find 't is its own Tormentor For the Miser having all things yet has nothing And I 'm as great an Enemy to Backbiting not one Report in 40 is true and therefore in Cases of Slander I believe no Man's Eves nor Ears but my own If I find any Man Censorious I have done with him for 't is my way to judge of all Mens Religion by their Charity I observe that Prejudice and Mis-information has Murdered the Reputation of many Innocent Persons and for that Reason I never judge any Man unheard I never Judg any man unheard and those that do I think 'em worse than the Man they 'd Blacken as will appear by some late Instances which shall be mention'd in my Funeral Sermon or else be inserted in my History of those modern-Divines that have been branded with Crimes of which they have been wholly I 'm writing a History of those Modern Divines that have been branded with Crimes of which they have been wholly Innocent Innocent and as I 'll Publish nothing in this History but what I 'll prove So Grant Oh Lord that no Man may turn that to an occasion of uncharitableness towards me which I design'd for his good or was necessary for my own Neither let any Man Censure me for anything but what be sees in me and Lord thou knowest I have not the least Cause to be proud of that I speak not this as I value the Praises of any Man No! I wou'd willingly come again from the other World to give any one the Lye that reported me otherwise than I was tho' he did it to honour me And as I abominate Flattery so I as little fear the worst Enemies I have for tho' they may strike me in the Dark and then like a Serpent creep into their hole again for want of Courage to abet their Actions yet I challenge them all to prove black is my Eye with respect to I challenge my worst Enemies to prove me guilty of any immoral Practice UUomen A varice Drunkenness Injustice or any other immoral Practices not but that single Life I 'm forc'd to will make People the more Censorious and some that have been in the Oven will be raising Lies of me perhaps as well as of better Men but by the Grace of God I shall endeavour to live so as I may have a Conscience void of Offence both towards God and towards Man 'T is a comfort that Accusations make no Man a Criminal or if they Accusations make no man a Criminal did an innocent Life would make me easy under all Aspersions for they are generally rais'd by the leuder sort A Backbiting Tongue is a sure sign of a Whore-master I cou'd tell you of one that Stole his Wife the worst sort of Theft and of others that have had Bastards that have been the first in slandering A Backbiting Tongue is a sign of a whore-master their Neighbour and I observe that most Slanderes owe their rise to the fair Seâ— but this is none of their Fault but the Fault of the Men who make it their Sport to abuse that Vertue they can't Debauch Lampoons and Libels so much in Fashion in this witty Age are a ready way to murder any Most Slanders owe their rise to the FairSex Persons Reputation and indeed as a late Author observes The Nature of true Vertue is commonly such that as the Flame ever has its Smoke and the Body its Shadow so the Brightness of Vertue never shines but hath Disdain or Envy waiting upon it Some Men are so vile that when no merit of Fortune can make 'em hope Some men are so vile that when they can't enjoy the Bodies of those Beauties they are charm'd with will yet lye with their Reputations to enjoy the Bodies of those Beauties they are Charm'd with they will yet lie with their Reputations and make their Fames suffer And tho' to such Women Innocence is the safest Armour for just Heaven will ne'er for sake the Innocent yet this Ieud Revenge is a double Uillany for certainly UUomen are necessary Evils from our Cradle to our Grave we are wrapt in a Circle of Obligations to ' em my Divine Pylades was of this Opinion or had never sent so often to his Doctress And I am sure such a Mortal as I who am helpless at best and often so afllicted with the Store c. that I can neither go nor stand can't Live without their Assistance which if they are Uertuous they 'll never deny me for I 'm so great an Enemy to running astray that I heartily Women are necessary Evils wish Adultery were Death But whether does Covetousness and a Slandering Tongue lead me But they are two Uiâ—es that my Soul loaths as will be thewn to my Funeral Sermon so that my Zeal against them is the more excuseable After this Funeral Sermon or rather Sermon against Slandering is My Body next to be carryed to the New burying-place Preach'd 't is my request that my Body be carried to the New Buâ—ying Place there to lie in the same Grave with my first Wife and upon her Coffin if it can be found and 't is my Will that no others be Buryed with us save my Executor and that Dissenting Minister who is to Preach my Funeral Sermon For 〈◊〉 't is good to enjoy the Godly while they Live so 't is not amiss to be Buryed with them after Death The old Prophet's Bones escaped a Burning by being Buryed with the other Prophets and the