they can That which Salomon said of a friend and a brother may fitly be applied in this case to husband and wife a friend loueth at all times and a brother is borne for aduersity that is a trusty and faithfull friend is constant in his good-will and ready to performe all duties of kindnesse at any time whether it be prosperity or aduersity the change of outward estate maketh no alteration in his louing affection and friendly cariage yea he seemeth to be as it were borne and brought forth against the time of trouble and affliction because then is his prouident care and tender affection most manifested Of all friends none ought to be more carefull none more faithfull one to another then man and wife How then ought they to loue at all times and if any triall come to either of them the other so to carrie himselfe as it may be truly said they were ioyned together for aduersity Thus shall they verifie the truth of that whereby God was moued to creare of mankinde male and female namely that it was not good for man to be alone but that it was rather good that is needfull profitable and comfortable for man and woman to be together In which respect the wise-man saith he that findeth a wife findeth a good thing and by the rule of relation we may inferre she that findeth an husband findeth a good thing §. 30. Of husbands and wiues backwandnesse to helpe one another in time of need Contrary to this duty is a certaine vnnaturall affection in sundry husbands and wiues who much grudge to prouide the things that are needfull for one another The man commonly thinkes the charge too great the woman thinkes the paines too much they are affected one to another as if they were meere strangers nay many strangers will be more ready to performe and more cheerefull in performing needfull duties as occasion is offered then such vnnaturall husbands and wiues If a little sicknesse or other like crosse fall on one of them the other thinkes neuer any had such a burden and by their discontent make the burden much more heauy then otherwise it would be euen as when two oxen are in one yoke and the one holdeth backe the draught is made much harder to the other Thus doe they peruert one of the principall ends of mariage which is to be a continuall comfort and helpe each to other and to ease the burdens of one another in which respect they are made yoke-fellowes Iobs wife by her vnnaturall cariage towards him in his affliction did much aggrauate his misery when he stood in most need of her helpe she afforded least vnto him it appeares by Iobs complaint of her in these words my breath is strange to my wife that she altogether neglected him in his misery The common speech of many after their husband or wife hauing long lien sicke is departed bewrayeth their vnnaturall affection their speech is this if my husband or wife had died so much sooner I had saued so much mony What doth this intimate but that they could haue beene contented their husband or wife should haue died sooner that they might haue spared the more §. 31. Of Husbands and Wiues mutuall respect of one anothers good name The prouident care of husbands and wiues ought further to extend it selfe to the credit and good name of one another As deare ought the good name of the wife be vnto the husband and of the husband to the wife as their owne The great regard that Ioseph had of the credit of Marie his espoused wife made him thinke of putting her away priuily when â—e obserued her to be with childe and knew not of whom â—or he was not willing to make her a publike example The â—ame respect moued Bethsheba to send secretly to Dauid and â—ell him that she was with childe The commendation which he good husband noted by Salomon giueth of his wife being approued by the holy Ghost sheweth how man and wife â—â—aght in that respect to honour each other and that on good â—ounds For 1. A good name is a most pretious thing better then preâ—ious ointment which giueth a sweet sauour and to be chosen â—oue great riches 2. So neerely are husbands and wiues ioyned together the good name of the one cannot but tend to the honour and credit of the other so that herein they seeke their owne honour also §. 32. Of husbands and wiues preuenting each others discredit For direction herein consider we how this dutie may be performed and how it may be manifested For the better performing of it care must be had both to preuent and redresse an ill name and also to procure and preserue a goodname To preuent an ill name respect must be had of these three things following 1. What one relateth of another and how 2. What eare they giue to things related by others 3. What censure they giue of one another For the first husbands and wiues may in no case delight to discouer vnto others and spread abroad the infirmities and imperfections of one another or any thing that may tend to the discredit of either of them but rather couer and conceale them as much as they may with a good conscience It is expressed that Ioseph being a iust man laboured to conceale that blemish which he imagined to be in his wife so as this may stand with iustice yea also it is a part of Ioue for loue couereth a multitude of sinnes For the second husbands and wiues must not haue their eares wide opened to heare euery tale and report that shall be brought to one against the other but rather shew themselues displeased and offended with them that are ready to relate things of euill report If an husband or wife manifest a willingnesse to hearken after tales and reports of one another the deuill will stirre vp instruments enow to fill their heads with tales and those for the most part both friuolous and forged not only strangers but children seruants and they which are of the same family will euer be telling some tale or other to currie fauour as we speake But an vtter dislike of such flattering tale-bearers will take away occasion from them of telling vntrue or slight reports For the third the iudgement and censure which husbands and wiues giue one of another must either be very charitable or verie sparing If one heare reported any notorious crime of the other they may not be ouer-headie or hastie to iudge and condemne no though they thinke they see some euidence thereof but rather suspend their iudgement This seemeth to be the minde of Ioseph though he obserued Marie to be with childe yet would he not presently iudge her to be a notorious adulteresse or condemne her for an hypocrite vnworthie to liue and therefore would not make her a publike example In briefe that husbands
too late to seeke such a redresse On the other side there be many children who so respect their parents as they neglect their husband or their wife Some husbands will bestow what they can on their parents and keepe their wiues very bare suffering them to want necessaries not caring how they vex and grieue them so they please their parents Some wiues also will priuily purloine from their husbands to bestow on their parents Others can neuer tarrie out of their parents houses but as oft as they can goe thither The ancient Romans to shew how vnmeet this was had a custome to couer the brides face with a yellow veile and so soone as she was out of her fathers house to turne her about and about and so to carrie her to the house of her husband that she might not know the way to her fathers house againe All those pretenses of loue to parents are more preposterous then pious and naturall affection beareth more sway in such then true religion Their pretence of piety to parents is no rust excuse for that iniury they doe to husband and wife §. 81. Of the firmnesse of the matrimoniall bond The second point concerning the firmnesse of the mariage knot in these words shall be ioyned to his wife affor deth two doctrines 1. Man and wife must associate themselues together by continuall cohabitation for this end they leaue their parents family and erect a new family 2. Man and wife are ioyned together by an inuiolable bond It must neuer be cut asunder till death cut it Body and soule must be seuered one from another before husband and wife Be carefull therefore to preserue this indissoluble knot and so liue together as with comfort you may liue together because you may not part §. 82. Of two only to be ioyned together in mariage The third point concerning the neerenesse of man and wife in these words they two shall be one flesh affordeth two other doctrines 1. Mariage can be but betwixt two one man and one woman for it is impossible that more then two should so neerely and firmely be ioyned together as man and wife are Euery word almost in this law proueth this doctrine For it saith a man not men to a wife not to wiues to his wife not to anothers wife two not more then two they two not any two one flesh not many fleshes Obiect This particle two is not in the law as Moses recordeth it Answ It is there necessarily implied for at that time there were but two in the world God then speaking of them meaneth but two The same spirit that guided Moses guided also the Euangelists and the Apostles so as by their inserting of this particle two it is certaine that it was intended by Moses as the particle only which Christ putteth into this text him only shalt thou serue Quest Why did God at first make but one man and one woman Answ The Prophet answereth that he might seeke a godly seed If therefore there be more then two it is an adulterous seed which proceedeth from thence §. 83. Of Polygamy and Bigamy Can Polygamy the hauing of many wiues or Bigamy the hauing of two wiues at once haue any good warrant against such an expresse law Are not both of them against the first institution of mariage so as we may say from the beginning it was not so Yea also and against other particular lawes Lamech one of Cains cursed stocke was the first that we read of to haue presumed against that ancient law Obiect Afterwards many Patriarkes and other Saints tooke that liberty vnto themselues Answ It was their sinne and a great blemish in them The common error of the time their vnsatiable desire of increase made them fall into it Many inconueniences followed thereupon neither can it be thought but that much mischiefe must needes follow vpon hauing more wiues then one for whereas God at first made a wife to be as an helpe vnto man two or more wiues cannot but be a great griefe and vexation vnto him by reason of that emulation that is betwixt them Through Hagars meanes was Sarah stirred against Abraham and Abraham grieued at Sarahs words Though Leah and Rachel were sisters yet great were their emulations the like whereof is noted of Peninnah and many others Considering the hainousnesse of this sinne our lawes haue iustly made it felony for a man to haue more wiues then one or a woman more husbands §. 84. Of the neere coniunction of man and wife together 2. The neerest of all other are husband and wife one to another Euery clause in the forenamed law proueth as much 1. Parents must be left for wife who neerer then parent and childe if man and wife be neerer then the neerest then they are the neerest of all 2. A man is glued to his wife This metaphor setteth forth the neernesse of a thing as well as the firmnesse of it for things glued together are as one intire thing 3. Man and wife are one flesh many of one are made two but no two so neerely and truly made one as man and wife As God hath limited a propinquity and vnity of things so are they to be accounted but God hath thus neerely knit man and wife together and made them one flesh Those whom GOD hath ioyned together saith Christ of man and wife in which respect matrimoniall coniunction is called the couenant of God so as this couenant cannot be released by any no not by the mutuall consent of man and wife Those whom GOD hath ioyned together let no man put asunder yet may many other couenants made betwixt partie and partie be released and disanulled by mutuall consent of both parties 1. This sheweth that the transgressions of man and wife one against another are of all the most hainous more then of friend fellow brother childe parent or any other Who would not cry fie vpon that child that hates his parent or fie vpon that parent that hates his childe The heathen sauages would not thinke them worthy of humane society What then may be thought of the man that hateth his wife or the wife that hateth her husband Apply this to all other transgressions and well note how the Lord is a witnesse thereof 2. This also sheweth how monstrous a thing it is to sow any seeds of discord and stirre debate betwixt man and wife The deuils instruments they are therein and a diabolicall spirit is in them For Satan most laboureth to vnloose those knots which the Lord knitteth most firmly Children of seuerall venters and seuerall friends of each partie are much faultie herein Cursed be they all before the Lord. 3. This neere coniunction betwixt man and wife is a great motiue to stirre them both vp cheerefully to performe all the duties which God requireth of either of them For thereby they doe dutie and
Of diuers kindes of consent II. A consent may be generall or particular A generall consent is giuen when without distinct respect to this or that particular libertie is granted to a wife by her husband to doe all things as seemeth good in her owne eyes That excellent good wife and notable good house-wife that is set forth by the Wise-man had such a consent For first it is said The heart of her husband trusteth in her and then it is inferred that she ordereth all the things of the house whereof many particulars are there specified Whence I gather that her husband obseruing her to be a godly wise faithfull and industrious woman gaue her power and liberty to doe in the house-hold affaires what she thought good he being a publike magistrate for he was knowne in the gates sitting among the Elders of the land and accordingly she vsed her liberty A particular consent is that which is giuen to one or more particular things as that consent which Abraham gaue to Sarah about Hagar and that which Elkanah gaue to Hanna about tarrying at home till her childe was weined This particular consent may be expressed or implied An expressed consent is when the husband manifesteth his good liking by word writing message or signe and that whether his consent be asked as was noted in the example of Elkanah or freely offered An implicit consent when by any probable coniecture it may be gathered that the husbands will is not against such a thing though he haue not manifested his minde concerning that very particular This implicit consent may be gathered either by his silence when he is present to see a thing done or otherwise hath knowledge thereof or else when he is absent by his former cariage or disposition in other like cases The Scripture accounteth an husbands silence when he knoweth a thing and may but doth not forbid it to be a consent as in the case of a wiues vow For any thing we read to the contrary the Shunemite had no other consent to prepare a chamber for the Prophet and to goe vnto him then her husbands silence and not forbidding it when he knew it As for the other kinde of implicit consent it may be set forth in this following instance suppose a good wife hath an husband whom she knoweth by his former cariage and disposition to be a pittifull and charitable man taking all occasions to shew mercy and in his absence there falleth out a fit and needfull occasion of shewing mercy if she take that occasion to shew mercy she hath an implicit consent for she may well thinke that if her husband knew it he would approue what she doth It is to be supposed that Annah vpon some such ground vowed her childe to God For it is not likely that she who would not tarry at home to weine her childe without her husbands consent would much lesse vow him to the Lord which was a farre greater matter without some perswasion of her husbands good liking thereof Now that a wife may shew she dealeth vprightly in this case vpon a true perswasion of her heart concerning her husbands minde she ought when conueniently she can to make known to her husband what she hath done as without all question Annah did and so much may be gathered out of these words which Elkanah vttered to Annah the Lord establish his word §. 20. Of the things whereabout a wife must haue her husbands consent The things whereabout an husbands consent is to be expected are such as he by vertue of his place and authoritie hath power to order as for example ordering and disposing the goods cattell seruants and children of the family entertaining strangers yea also ordering euen his wiues going abroad and making of vowes with the like now then distinctly to lay downe a wiues dutie in this first branch of obedience it is this A wife must doe nothing which appertaineth to her husband authoritie simply without or directly against his consent Doe not these words of that old law thy desire shall be to thy husband imply as much I deny not but that there may be sundry things proper and peculiar to a wife wherein I will not restraine her libertie and therefore I vse this phrase which appertaineth to her husbands authoritie And I grant the forenamed generall and implicit consent to be a true consent so as there needeth not an expresse particular consent for euery thing and therefore I haue added these clauses simply without or directly against consent That is done simply without consent which is done without all warrant from the husband and that so couertly as she is afraid it should come to his notice imagining he would by no meanes like it As Rahels taking her fathers idols without all consent of Iaakob That is done directly against consent which is expresly forbidden and disclaimed by the husband But to descend to the particulars before mentioned First concerning the goods of the family It is a question controuerted whether the wife haue power to dispose them without or against the husbands consent Before I determine the question I thinke it needfull to declare 1. What goods 2. What occasion of giuing the question is about §. 21. Of the things which a wife may dispose without her husbands consent 1. For the goods some are proper and peculiar to the wife others are common Goods proper to the wife are such as before mariage she her selfe or her friends except from the husband to her sole and proper vse and disposing whereunto he also yeeldeth or such as after mariage he giueth vnto her to dispose as she please suppose it be some rent annuity fees â—ailes or the like These kindes of goods are exempted out of the question in hand the wife hath liberty to dispose them as she please without any further consent then she had by vertue of her hausbands former grant To these I may referre other goods but of another nature namely such as some friend of hers suppose father mother brother or any other obseruing her husband to be a very â—ard man not allowing sufficient for her selfe much lesse to distribute on charitable vses shall giue vnto her to dispose as â—e please charging her not to let her husband know thereof How because it is in the power of a free doner to order his â—ift as he please and because he so ordereth this gift as he will not haue her husband know of it I doubt not but she may of her selfe according to the doners minde without her husbands consent dispose such goods She is herein but as a â—offee in trust Againe of common goods some are set forth by the husband to be spent about the family other he reserueth for a â—ocke or to lay forth as he himselfe shall see occasion Concerning those which are set forth to be spent I doubt â—ot but the wife hath power