out_o of_o my_o heart_n these_o bitter_a root_n pride_n passion_n and_o inordinate_a affection_n in_o a_o special_a manner_n that_o of_o passion_n he_o first_o draw_v out_o my_o heart_n in_o this_o address_n to_o god_n find_v it_o so_o sad_o prevail_v tell_v the_o lord_n that_o he_o have_v often_o show_v i_o the_o evil_n of_o this_o both_o from_o the_o scripture_n time_n after_o time_n come_v sometime_o with_o mighty_a power_n upon_o my_o heart_n &_o yet_o go_v off_o again_o yea_o he_o have_v appear_v against_o all_o these_o evil_n in_o many_o experience_n of_o the_o folly_n and_o vanity_n of_o they_o especial_o those_o of_o pride_n and_o inordinate_a affection_n how_o often_o have_v he_o show_v i_o the_o emptiness_n of_o all_o creature_n yea_o in_o the_o very_a thing_n i_o expect_v most_o from_o and_o how_o often_o have_v he_o blast_v my_o pride_n by_o these_o continual_a scoff_v i_o meet_v mithal_o and_o by_o all_o those_o infirmity_n upon_o my_o body_n for_o all_o which_o i_o desire_v to_o bless_v his_o name_n beseech_v he_o once_o to_o speak_v effectual_o to_o my_o heart_n to_o the_o utter_a ruin_n of_o these_o evil_n in_o i_o the_o 24._o day_n of_o this_o four_o month_n be_v in_o my_o closet_n the_o lord_n draw_v out_o my_o heart_n to_o pray_v that_o he_o will_v please_v to_o manifest_v his_o presence_n and_o drop_v something_o upon_o my_o heart_n that_o may_v be_v for_o my_o spiritual_a good_a and_o advantage_n in_o answer_n thereunto_o the_o lord_n be_v please_v unexpected_o to_o cast_v i_o upon_o this_o scripture_n the_o 40._o of_o isaiah_n 1._o where_o the_o lord_n begin_v with_o a_o command_n to_o comfort_v his_o church_n yea_o to_o comfort_v they_o at_o the_o very_a heart_n but_o thou_o may_v say_v what_o do_v he_o comfort_v they_o withal_o 2._o first_o tell_v she_o her_o warfare_n be_v accomplish_v 2._o her_o iniquity_n be_v pardon_v yea_o he_o add_v she_o have_v receive_v of_o the_o lord_n hand_n double_a for_o all_o her_o sin_n twice_o as_o much_o mercy_n as_o she_o have_v sin_n 3._o he_o go_v on_o with_o a_o gracious_a promise_n that_o god_n will_v have_v a_o way_n make_v for_o he_o in_o the_o desert_n 4._o and_o that_o every_o valley_n shall_v he_o exalt_v and_o every_o high_a hill_n make_v low_a and_o the_o crooked_a make_v straight_o and_o that_o the_o glory_n of_o the_o lord_n shall_v be_v reveal_v and_o all_o flesh_n see_v it_o which_o glory_n of_o he_o shall_v so_o darken_v all_o the_o creature_n glory_n that_o he_o add_v 6._o all_o flesh_n be_v grass_n nay_o it_o shall_v now_o appear_v to_o be_v but_o wither_a grass_n 7._o all_o which_o shall_v wither_v away_o and_o the_o word_n of_o god_n only_o abide_v then_o 8._o the_o lord_n call_v upon_o his_o people_n to_o rise_v from_o these_o wither_a thing_n 9_o get_v you_o up_o say_v he_o to_o the_o mountain_n second_o lift_v up_o your_o voice_n and_o three_o be_v not_o afraid_a as_o if_o the_o lord_n will_v secret_o intimate_v that_o he_o see_v his_o people_n too_o apt_a to_o grubble_v upon_o the_o earth_n and_o take_v content_a in_o these_o fade_a flower_n of_o the_o field_n not_o have_v their_o heart_n raise_v to_o so_o glorious_a a_o expectation_n of_o his_o appearance_n and_o revelation_n of_o his_o glory_n therefore_o it_o be_v observable_a he_o double_v it_o lift_v up_o your_o voice_n they_o be_v much_o averse_a to_o it_o yea_o say_v he_o fear_v not_o but_o why_o shall_v we_o not_o fear_v why_o behold_v your_o god_n a_o word_n of_o application_n and_o admiration_n 10._o yea_o he_o double_v it_o behold_v the_o lord_n god_n behold_v he_o will_v come_v and_o how_o with_o a_o strong_a hand_n and_o his_o arm_n the_o strength_n of_o his_o hand_n shall_v rule_v for_o he_o then_o he_o add_v 11._o his_o reward_n be_v with_o he_o he_o shall_v feed_v his_o flock_n like_o a_o shepherd_n yea_o he_o gether_v the_o lamb_n with_o his_o arm_n and_o carry_v they_o in_o his_o bosom_n and_o gentle_o lead_v those_o that_o be_v with_o young_a then_o 12._o he_o go_v on_o the_o 27._o verse_n show_v the_o mighty_a power_n of_o his_o god_n above_o all_o creature_n 15._o how_o creature_n be_v to_o he_o but_o as_o a_o drop_n of_o a_o bucket_n and_o as_o the_o small_a dust_n of_o the_o balance_n 17._o yea_o as_o nothing_o and_o as_o a_o thing_n of_o nought_o when_o he_o have_v thus_o abundant_o set_v forth_o his_o mighty_a power_n he_o challenge_v all_o that_o unbelief_n in_o the_o heart_n of_o his_o people_n to_o come_v forth_o and_o meet_v he_o 27._o why_o say_v thou_o o_o jacob_n and_o israel_n my_o way_n hide_v from_o the_o lord_n and_o have_v thou_o any_o reason_n for_o such_o thought_n 28._o have_v thou_o not_o know_v neither_o hear_v that_o the_o everlasting_a god_n the_o creator_n of_o the_o end_n of_o the_o earth_n see_v what_o glorious_a title_n here_o be_v to_o strengthen_v faith_n he_o faint_v not_o neither_o be_v weary_a poor_a creature_n be_v apt_a to_o think_v sure_o they_o have_v weary_v the_o lord_n with_o their_o continual_a backslide_n and_o revolting_n but_o say_v hâ—_n have_v you_o not_o know_v that_o i_o be_o a_o everlasting_a god_n yea_o that_o i_o faint_v not_o neither_o be_o weary_a and_o he_o add_v that_o there_o be_v no_o search_v his_o understanding_n and_o not_o only_o be_v he_o thus_o glorious_a in_o himself_o but_o 29._o he_o give_v power_n to_o the_o faint_a yea_o to_o they_o that_o have_v no_o might_n he_o increase_v strength_n o_o bless_a encouragement_n poor_a soul_n may_v say_v well_o be_v it_o so_o that_o notwithstanding_o all_o my_o rebellion_n the_o lord_n be_v not_o weary_a nor_o faint_v in_o his_o arm_n or_o love_n to_o i_o yet_o i_o be_o a_o poor_a feeble_a creature_n and_o be_o ready_a to_o faint_v and_o not_o able_a to_o hold_v up_o the_o head_n but_o he_o give_v power_n to_o the_o faint_a also_o yea_o he_o eacrease_v their_o strength_n even_o 30._o the_o youth_n shall_v faint_v and_o be_v weary_a and_o the_o young_a man_n utter_o fall_v i.e._n they_o that_o trust_v in_o their_o own_o strength_n shall_v utter_o fail_v 31._o but_o they_o that_o wait_v upon_o the_o lord_n shall_v renew_v their_o strength_n they_o shall_v mount_v up_o as_o engles_n they_o shall_v run_v and_o no_o be_v weary_a walk_v and_o not_o fainâ—_n when_o they_o that_o can_v do_v nothing_o that_o have_v no_o strength_n or_o might_n but_o only_o wait_v upon_o the_o lord_n for_o strength_n from_o he_o shall_v have_v this_o glorious_a promise_n make_v good_a to_o they_o o_o my_o soul_n wait_v thou_o only_o upon_o the_o lord_n because_o thy_o expectation_n be_v only_o from_o he_o wait_v i_o say_v upon_o he_o isaiah_n 41._o 8._o 8._o he_o go_v on_o with_o rich_a encouragement_n to_o poor_a weak_a soul_n thou_o o_o israel_n art_n my_o servant_n jacob_n my_o choose_a this_o seed_n of_o abraham_n my_o friend_n sweet_a familiar_a title_n 9_o who_o i_o have_v take_v from_o the_o end_n of_o the_o earth_n and_o call_v thou_o from_o the_o chief_a man_n thereof_o and_o say_v thou_o be_v my_o servant_n bless_a lord_n have_v thou_o not_o do_v this_o for_o my_o poor_a soul_n have_v thou_o take_v i_o when_o i_o be_v run_v even_o to_o the_o end_n of_o the_o earth_n from_o place_n to_o place_n and_o thing_n to_o thing_n bewilder_v in_o all_o yea_o have_v not_o thou_o call_v i_o from_o the_o chief_a man_n thereof_o from_o the_o chief_a desirable_a thing_n of_o this_o world_n o_o lord_n enable_v my_o soul_n to_o follow_v this_o call_n of_o thou_o and_o make_v i_o indeed_o thy_o servant_n yea_o the_o lord_n add_v thou_o be_v my_o servant_n i_o have_v choose_v thou_o he_o do_v not_o say_v thou_o chose_v i_o but_z i_o have_v choose_v thou_o yea_o i_o have_v not_o choose_v and_o turn_v thou_o away_o again_o no_o i_o have_v choose_v thou_o and_o not_o cast_v thou_o off_o then_o he_o go_v on_o with_o more_o bless_a encouragement_n 10._o fear_v thou_o not_o why_o may_v they_o say_v why_o i_o be_o with_o thou_o be_v not_o dismay_v for_o i_o be_o thy_o god_n add_v withal_o i_o be_o not_o only_o present_a with_o thou_o and_o that_o as_o thy_o god_n but_o i_o will_v strengthen_v thou_o yea_o i_o will_v help_v thou_o yea_o i_o will_v uphold_v thou_o and_o that_o with_o the_o right_a hand_n of_o my_o righteousness_n a_o bless_a encouragement_n answer_v all_o objection_n in_o the_o soul_n as_o if_o the_o lord_n have_v say_v be_v thou_o a_o poor_a feeble_a weak_a creature_n unable_a to_o any_o spiritual_a service_n well_o i_o will_v strengthen_v thou_o be_v thou_o still_o afraid_a why_o i_o will_v help_v thou_o and_o as_o it_o be_v work_v together_o with_o thou_o and_o be_v not_o this_o enough_o why_o i_o will_v uphold_v thou_o too_o and_o that_o
experience_n to_o be_v a_o god_n hear_v prayer_n for_o i_o find_v he_o now_o also_o as_o i_o hope_v i_o may_v to_o his_o glory_n speak_v come_v in_o very_o much_o as_o it_o be_v fit_v i_o for_o this_o mercy_n by_o give_v in_o out_o of_o his_o own_o free_a grace_n to_o his_o poor_a unworthy_a creature_n yet_o a_o more_o full_a and_o clear_a sight_n of_o his_o work_n upon_o my_o soul_n and_o so_o of_o my_o interest_n in_o he_o by_o mean_n whereof_o i_o may_v now_o the_o more_o comfortable_o offer_v up_o myself_o into_o the_o communion_n of_o his_o people_n without_o a_o sight_n of_o which_o i_o shall_v hardly_o i_o think_v have_v presume_v to_o have_v do_v which_o work_n of_o his_o the_o lord_n be_v please_v to_o help_v on_o by_o several_a of_o his_o servant_n in_o mr._n knight_n absence_n as_o mr._n sidrach_n simpson_n and_o mr._n rogers_n who_o he_o be_v please_v to_o make_v instrumental_a for_o my_o soul_n advantage_n and_o comfort_n at_o this_o time_n which_o the_o lord_n thus_o carry_v on_o until_o it_o be_v towards_o the_o end_n of_o the_o seven_o month_n common_o call_v september_n in_o this_o year_n 1652._o at_o which_o time_n mr._n knight_n be_v return_v home_o and_o remove_n to_o fulham_n where_o the_o lord_n open_v a_o door_n for_o his_o people_n to_o join_v in_o communion_n together_o according_a to_o the_o gospel_n the_o lord_n now_o offer_v i_o this_o opportunity_n which_o i_o have_v so_o much_o long_v for_o and_o his_o servant_n mr._n knight_n to_o who_o i_o have_v former_o by_o a_o other_o friend_n intimate_v my_o desire_n he_o i_o say_v acquaint_v i_o with_o it_o i_o dare_v not_o rash_o deny_v to_o join_v with_o they_o but_o what_o fear_n and_o tremble_n there_o be_v upon_o my_o spirit_n at_o this_o time_n be_v know_v only_o to_o the_o lord_n for_o indeed_o i_o be_o not_o able_a to_o express_v it_o in_o which_o trouble_n my_o refuge_n as_o former_o be_v only_o to_o go_v to_o the_o lord_n beseech_v and_o earnest_o importune_v he_o now_o to_o appear_v and_o give_v in_o direction_n to_o his_o poor_a creature_n who_o be_v now_o in_o such_o a_o straight_a as_o that_o she_o know_v not_o what_o to_o do_v but_o so_o far_o as_o i_o know_v my_o own_o heart_n lean_v alone_o upon_o the_o lord_n and_o wait_v for_o his_o direction_n i_o go_v to_o the_o place_n appoint_v to_o meet_v in_o not_o know_v what_o i_o shall_v do_v in_o it_o take_v little_a or_o no_o rest_n all_o the_o night_n before_o but_o come_v there_o next_o morning_n and_o be_v still_o much_o oppress_v in_o spirit_n in_o the_o turn_n of_o a_o eye_n as_o it_o be_v i_o can_v not_o express_v how_o or_o which_o way_n my_o spirit_n be_v on_o a_o sudden_a wrought_v over_o to_o give_v my_o consent_n and_o so_o to_o join_v with_o they_o they_o be_v as_o they_o conceive_v well_o satisfy_v in_o the_o long_a knowledge_n they_o have_v have_v of_o each_o other_o and_o their_o frequent_a converse_v together_o some_o whereof_o be_v in_o order_n to_o this_o very_a work_n which_o have_v be_v much_o desire_v by_o those_o few_o person_n that_o then_o join_v and_o they_o so_o long_o interrupt_v and_o have_v put_v up_o many_o petition_n to_o the_o throne_n of_o grace_n concern_v it_o mr._n barker_n be_v then_o present_a and_o carry_v the_o intend_a work_n by_o prayer_n and_o counsel_n we_o join_v together_o in_o the_o fellowship_n of_o the_o gospel_n but_o this_o work_n be_v not_o perform_v in_o so_o solemn_a a_o manner_n as_o i_o for_o my_o part_n can_v have_v desire_v both_o in_o set_v more_o time_n a_o part_n to_o seek_v the_o lord_n together_o in_o it_o and_o to_o have_v endeavour_v to_o have_v give_v more_o full_a satisfaction_n to_o each_o other_o of_o the_o work_n of_o god_n in_o each_o other_o heart_n which_o lie_v as_o a_o burden_n upon_o my_o spirit_n which_o i_o often_o bewail_v before_o the_o lord_n and_o also_o move_v it_o to_o some_o of_o our_o friend_n that_o we_o may_v yet_o meet_v and_o set_v a_o part_n a_o day_n to_o this_o end_n which_o be_v not_o think_v meet_v at_o that_o time_n upon_o which_o i_o beseech_v the_o lord_n it_o may_v be_v no_o hindrance_n to_o his_o appearance_n among_o we_o for_o my_o spirit_n be_v oppress_v with_o fear_n of_o god_n not_o appear_v in_o the_o midst_n of_o we_o which_o fear_n be_v at_o the_o present_a heighten_v from_o the_o mighty_a rage_n of_o satan_n in_o the_o spirit_n of_o many_o yea_o of_o some_o good_a man_n at_o this_o our_o first_o entrance_n into_o communion_n lay_v many_o harsh_a censure_n upon_o we_o which_o still_o put_v i_o upon_o a_o more_o narrow_a search_n into_o my_o own_o heart_n thus_o see_v the_o rage_n of_o some_o against_o we_o to_o be_v very_o great_a and_o tremble_v in_o myself_o to_o think_v lest_o we_o by_o our_o miscarriage_n may_v give_v they_o some_o ground_n to_o speak_v evil_a of_o we_o it_o wrought_v a_o great_a sadness_n upon_o my_o spirit_n fear_v lest_o we_o may_v be_v a_o occasion_n of_o darken_n his_o glory_n to_o the_o world_n which_o cause_v i_o often_o to_o pour_v out_o my_o soul_n to_o the_o lord_n beseech_v he_o that_o if_o he_o have_v any_o delight_n in_o we_o he_o will_v be_v please_v to_o afford_v we_o his_o presence_n but_o in_o the_o very_a depth_n of_o these_o fear_n do_v the_o lord_n by_o a_o mere_a providence_n as_o i_o be_v open_v mr._n burroughs_n book_n cast_v my_o eye_n unexpected_o upon_o the_o 13_o p._n of_o the_o right_a manner_n of_o draw_v nigh_o to_o god_n in_o worship_n where_o i_o find_v this_o note_n that_o the_o beginning_n of_o thing_n of_o high_a concernment_n do_v meet_v sometime_o with_o great_a difficulty_n and_o interruption_n which_o he_o give_v some_o instance_n of_o and_o so_o advise_v we_o not_o to_o be_v offend_v though_o we_o shall_v have_v some_o sad_a accident_n to_o fall_v out_o at_o the_o begin_n of_o great_a thing_n for_o say_v he_o notwithstanding_o this_o god_n may_v yet_o prosper_v it_o afterward_o the_o serious_a consideration_n whereof_o do_v at_o the_o present_a a_o little_a refresh_v my_o spirit_n and_o support_v it_o with_o a_o desire_n to_o wait_v to_o see_v what_o the_o lord_n will_v please_v to_o bring_v out_o of_o it_o thus_o have_v for_o about_o 3_o month_n space_n enjoy_v the_o ordinance_n and_o the_o society_n of_o his_o servant_n and_o thereupon_o begin_v to_o examine_v my_o own_o heart_n what_o fruit_n or_o benefit_n i_o have_v find_v by_o they_o it_o lay_v somewhat_o sad_o upon_o my_o spirit_n for_o be_v able_a to_o discern_v very_o little_a then_o be_v the_o lord_n please_v by_o a_o letter_n from_o mr._n rogers_n to_o hand_n out_o something_o which_o for_o the_o present_a do_v a_o little_a support_n and_o cheer_v my_o spirit_n therein_o put_v i_o upon_o the_o consideration_n of_o this_o truth_n that_o a_o christian_a growth_n be_v not_o at_o all_o time_n sensible_a neither_o do_v the_o lord_n see_v it_o meet_v they_o shall_v always_o grow_v in_o one_o kind_n but_o that_o they_o grow_v in_o all_o part_n as_o well_o in_o humility_n and_o self_n abasement_n and_o in_o the_o sight_n of_o our_o own_o weakness_n barrenness_n and_o unprofitableness_n etc._n etc._n which_o be_v as_o true_a a_o growth_n as_o that_o of_o faith_n though_o not_o always_o so_o visible_a yet_o some_o trouble_n still_o lie_v upon_o my_o spirit_n want_v a_o full_a and_o clear_a sight_n of_o my_o interest_n in_o christ_n which_o as_o yet_o i_o have_v only_o some_o good_a hope_n of_o but_o no_o such_o settle_a assurance_n but_o that_o i_o be_v often_o totter_v backward_o and_o forward_o the_o lord_n have_v formal_o and_o continual_o through_o the_o ministry_n of_o his_o word_n dispense_v often_o by_o mr._n knight_n and_o very_o powerful_o to_o that_o end_n and_o sometime_o also_o by_o mr._n simpson_n by_o both_o which_o the_o lord_n be_v please_v strong_o to_o convince_v i_o of_o the_o dishonour_n that_o i_o have_v bring_v he_o by_o my_o unbeleef_n which_o be_v now_o the_o great_a burden_n of_o my_o soul_n but_o find_v much_o weakness_n of_o faith_n in_o i_o and_o a_o inability_n to_o roll_n so_o full_o upon_o god_n and_o give_v glory_n to_o he_o by_o believe_v and_o take_v he_o upon_o his_o word_n etc._n etc._n often_o fear_v that_o sin_n and_o satan_n will_v yet_o prevail_v over_o i_o but_o the_o lord_n be_v please_v about_o the_o 10_o month_n 1652._o to_o draw_v out_o my_o heart_n exceed_o to_o beg_v of_o he_o a_o large_a measure_n of_o faith_n even_o that_o i_o may_v be_v enable_v to_o honour_v he_o as_o much_o by_o believe_v as_o ever_o i_o have_v dishonour_v he_o through_o unbeleef_n but_o this_o same_o month_n i_o have_v this_o wicked_a thought_n or_o temptation_n throw_v with_o mighty_a force_n
&_o 66._o 16._o 1_o tim._n 1._o 13_o 14_o 15_o 16._o act._n 22._o there_o be_v also_o sudden_o after_o this_o present_v to_o i_o as_o one_o thing_n that_o the_o lord_n may_v aim_v at_o in_o this_o touch_n of_o he_o even_o to_o mind_n i_o that_o i_o have_v not_o that_o degree_n of_o compassion_n or_o fellow_n feel_v as_o i_o ought_v of_o that_o affliction_n which_o in_o some_o respect_n in_o the_o same_o kind_n though_o in_o a_o great_a degree_n lie_v upon_o our_o sister_n arnat_a by_o reason_n of_o a_o great_a fever_n and_o doubtless_o there_o may_v be_v something_o in_o this_o though_o i_o shall_v also_o wrong_v myself_o shall_v i_o not_o acknowledge_v much_o and_o continue_a work_v in_o my_o heart_n for_o and_o towards_o she_o which_o oft_o occasion_v i_o to_o spread_v her_o condition_n before_o the_o lord_n according_a to_o my_o poor_a measure_n but_o upon_o the_o 25_o of_o this_o 11_o month_n in_o the_o night_n i_o have_v little_a or_o no_o rest_n by_o reason_n of_o the_o great_a distemper_n which_o lie_v upon_o i_o and_o real_o i_o do_v not_o well_o know_v whether_o the_o distemper_n of_o my_o body_n or_o my_o mind_n be_v the_o great_a but_o both_o meeting_n it_o lay_v somewhat_o heavy_a upon_o the_o flesh_n which_o think_v itself_o ready_a to_o give_v up_o under_o it_o but_o my_o thought_n be_v continual_o work_v i_o find_v in_o my_o spirit_n a_o great_a natural_a reluctancy_n against_o death_n which_o seem_v at_o time_n as_o it_o be_v to_o approach_v often_o think_v that_o it_o be_v not_o possible_a in_o natural_a reason_n that_o i_o can_v continue_v until_o morning_n yet_o say_v i_o nothing_o for_o fear_v of_o affright_v my_o mother_n yet_o have_v i_o also_o between_o time_n a_o great_a desire_n together_o with_o a_o kind_n of_o persuasion_n that_o for_o all_o this_o i_o shall_v be_v enable_v to_o hear_v mr._n knight_n next_o morning_n who_o turn_n it_o be_v to_o preach_v at_o the_o chapel_n at_o fulham_n thus_o i_o say_v find_v in_o my_o spirit_n some_o kind_n of_o reluctancy_n at_o death_n of_o which_o consider_v a_o little_a it_o be_v that_o corruption_n which_o i_o think_v have_v now_o be_v in_o some_o good_a measure_n crucify_v but_o find_v it_o still_o to_o work_v up_o be_v no_o small_a trouble_n to_o i_o which_o together_o with_o many_o other_o fear_n that_o lay_v upon_o my_o spirit_n as_o that_o i_o shall_v not_o be_v enable_v to_o sanctify_v the_o name_n of_o god_n or_o honour_v he_o under_o this_o affliction_n which_o be_v indeed_o the_o ground_n of_o my_o trouble_n at_o the_o approach_n of_o death_n and_o if_o i_o know_v my_o heart_n in_o any_o measure_n that_o only_o which_o i_o resolve_v in_o myself_o to_o declare_v to_o some_o friend_n i_o shall_v meet_v at_o fulham_n next_o day_n if_o the_o lord_n shall_v please_v to_o enable_v i_o to_o go_v and_o so_o beg_v their_o remembrance_n at_o the_o throne_n of_o grace_n but_o be_v enable_v to_o consider_v better_o of_o it_o i_o be_v give_v to_o see_v that_o it_o be_v nothing_o but_o a_o mere_a temptation_n to_o distrust_v the_o power_n and_o love_n of_o god_n to_o think_v as_o if_o he_o shall_v now_o bring_v i_o into_o that_o condition_n that_o he_o will_v not_o carry_v i_o through_o whereupon_o i_o be_v enable_v to_o gather_v up_o my_o spirit_n a_o little_a and_o in_o some_o better_a measure_n to_o submit_v to_o the_o hand_n and_o will_n of_o my_o father_n which_o i_o be_v now_o assure_v shall_v certain_o end_v in_o his_o glory_n and_o my_o good_a and_o to_o this_o end_n i_o be_v now_o also_o enable_v again_o to_o call_v over_o that_o bless_a promise_n in_o rom._n 8._o 28._o that_o all_o thing_n shall_v work_v yea_o work_v together_o for_o good_a to_o they_o that_o love_n god_n etc._n etc._n which_o promise_n i_o have_v often_o find_v by_o experience_n have_v be_v make_v good_a to_o my_o soul_n and_o be_v therefore_o much_o trouble_v that_o any_o distrustful_a thought_n shall_v arise_v in_o i_o concern_v it_o divers_z other_o promise_n also_o before_o mention_v be_v now_o bring_v to_o my_o mind_n and_o wrought_v afresh_o upon_o my_o heart_n which_o do_v exceed_o refresh_v my_o spirit_n so_o that_o the_o first_o refreshment_n which_o i_o find_v be_v in_o my_o spirit_n and_o after_o that_o be_v a_o little_a quiet_v i_o have_v a_o little_a short_a slumber_n and_o do_v the_o lord_n so_o far_o mitigate_v my_o bodily_a distemper_n as_o that_o it_o do_v not_o hinder_v i_o from_o that_o bless_a opportunity_n next_o day_n though_o accompany_v with_o much_o bodily_a weakness_n but_o upon_o the_o 2_o day_n of_o the_o 12_o month_n 1652._o i_o find_v my_o distemper_n of_o body_n much_o abate_v in_o so_o much_o as_o i_o think_v it_o be_v now_o quite_o go_v but_o that_o very_a night_n be_v the_o lord_n please_v to_o return_v yea_o to_o heighten_v it_o constrain_a i_o to_o keep_v house_n certain_a day_n whereby_o i_o perceive_v that_o this_o work_n upon_o my_o soul_n be_v not_o yet_o accomplish_v nor_o i_o full_o acquaint_v with_o his_o mind_n and_o will_n in_o it_o which_o be_v some_o trouble_n to_o i_o whereupon_o i_o again_o beseech_v the_o lord_n to_o acquaint_v i_o with_o his_o mind_n and_o will_n in_o it_o and_o to_o sanctify_v it_o unto_o i_o give_v i_o a_o heart_n to_o submit_v to_o whatsoever_o he_o have_v yet_o further_o to_o lay_v upon_o i_o in_o which_o i_o also_o seek_v the_o prayer_n of_o his_o people_n upon_o the_o 6_o of_o this_o month_n but_o upon_o the_o seven_o day_n of_o this_o month_n providence_n offer_v some_o occasion_n whereby_o i_o be_v put_v upon_o the_o thought_n of_o part_v with_o my_o aunt_n dogget_n who_o be_v upon_o remove_n into_o the_o country_n with_o many_o thought_n there_o about_o which_o be_v now_o bring_v to_o my_o mind_n which_o occasion_v such_o a_o heavyness_n to_o possess_v my_o spirit_n upon_o other_o account_n also_o which_o come_v in_o to_o add_v to_o the_o other_o in_o so_o much_o that_o i_o be_v even_o as_o it_o be_v overwhelm_v with_o it_o until_o i_o be_v enable_v to_o vent_v it_o before_o the_o lord_n at_o which_o time_n he_o be_v please_v to_o discover_v to_o i_o that_o this_o be_v mere_o to_o return_v as_o it_o be_v from_o the_o lord_n to_o the_o creature_n for_o comfort_n and_o support_v as_o if_o he_o be_v not_o able_a abundant_o to_o make_v up_o in_o himself_o the_o want_n of_o such_o a_o comfort_n and_o relation_n if_o he_o see_v meet_v to_o deprive_v i_o of_o it_o the_o thought_n of_o which_o do_v much_o grieve_v i_o then_o do_v the_o lord_n also_o show_v i_o how_o i_o have_v continual_o provoke_v he_o in_o this_o kind_n by_o lean_v upon_o such_o poor_a reed_n and_o dige_v to_o myself_o such_o poor_a pit_n such_o break_a cistern_n as_o can_v indeed_o hold_v no_o water_n and_o in_o the_o mean_a time_n too_o much_o neglect_v he_o the_o fountain_n of_o live_a water_n jer._n 2._o 13._o yea_o while_o i_o be_v thus_o pour_v out_o my_o soul_n before_o he_o and_o lament_v my_o miserable_a and_o wretched_a folly_n he_o be_v please_v also_o to_o cast_v my_o thought_n upon_o that_o part_n of_o scripture_n i_o find_v record_v in_o 1_o king_n 11._o 9_o how_o the_o lord_n be_v angry_a with_o solomon_n because_o his_o heart_n be_v turn_v from_o the_o lord_n god_n of_o israel_n which_o have_v appear_v to_o he_o twice_o even_o so_o i_o see_v the_o lord_n have_v just_a cause_n to_o be_v angry_a with_o i_o that_o i_o shall_v thus_o again_o return_v to_o the_o creature_n and_o as_o it_o be_v make_v a_o god_n of_o it_o yea_o after_o such_o eminent_a appearance_n of_o his_o to_o my_o soul_n the_o same_o day_n do_v the_o lord_n bring_v to_o my_o mind_n that_o severe_a threaten_n against_o moab_n who_o have_v be_v at_o ease_n from_o his_o youth_n and_o be_v settle_v on_o his_o lees_n who_o have_v not_o be_v empty_v from_o vessel_n to_o vessel_n neither_o have_v go_v into_o captivity_n and_o therefore_o his_o taste_n remain_v in_o he_o and_o his_o scent_n be_v not_o change_v jer._n 48._o 11_o now_o find_v this_o give_v by_o the_o spirit_n of_o god_n as_o the_o reason_n why_o his_o scent_n remain_v even_o because_o he_o have_v not_o be_v empty_v etc._n etc._n i_o can_v not_o but_o stand_v and_o wonder_n what_o reason_n can_v be_v give_v of_o the_o corruption_n in_o my_o heart_n who_o the_o lord_n have_v not_o leave_v at_o ease_n but_o have_v often_o empty_v from_o vessel_n to_o vessel_n as_o it_o be_v try_v always_o and_o mean_v with_o i_o and_o yet_o that_o i_o shall_v still_o savour_v so_o much_o of_o the_o earth_n and_o of_o the_o old_a man_n and_o shall_v still_o so_o incline_v to_o depend_v upon_o a_o arm_n of_o flesh_n 2_o chron._n 32._o
even_o for_o the_o full_a accomplishment_n of_o his_o own_o promise_n who_o have_v say_v sin_n shall_v not_o have_v dominion_n over_o he_o that_o be_v not_o under_o the_o law_n but_o under_o grace_n as_o also_o that_o he_o will_v tread_v down_o satan_n under_o his_o people_n foot_n short_o which_o my_o soul_n desire_v to_o wait_v upon_o he_o for_o and_o in_o the_o mean_a time_n desire_v to_o bless_v his_o name_n and_o that_o you_o will_v bless_v he_o together_o with_o i_o that_o he_o be_v please_v to_o open_v any_o fountain_n of_o love_n and_o mercy_n in_o this_o vale_n of_o tear_n so_o abundant_o fulfil_v to_o my_o poor_a soul_n that_o word_n of_o he_o which_o he_o be_v please_v no_o soon_o to_o set_v upon_o my_o heart_n with_o a_o persuasion_n in_o some_o measure_n that_o it_o shall_v be_v make_v good_a roll_v though_o weak_o upon_o he_o for_o it_o but_o that_o he_o be_v please_v so_o to_o do_v indeed_o that_o word_n i_o find_v isai_n 56._o 19_o when_o the_o enemy_n shall_v come_v in_o like_o a_o flood_n the_o spirit_n of_o the_o lord_n shall_v set_v up_o a_o standard_n against_o they_o for_o which_o i_o desire_v to_o bless_v his_o name_n beseech_v he_o that_o those_o impression_n that_o he_o be_v please_v by_o his_o spirit_n through_o several_a word_n of_o he_o to_o make_v upon_o my_o heart_n may_v never_o be_v forget_v by_o i_o but_o that_o they_o may_v continual_o be_v as_o support_v to_o my_o poor_a weak_a faith_n that_o it_o may_v grow_v from_o strength_n to_o strength_n even_o till_o i_o shall_v meet_v my_o god_n bless_v for_o ever_o be_v that_o god_n that_o be_v please_v to_o know_v my_o poor_a soul_n in_o this_o hour_n of_o temptation_n and_o to_o take_v this_o poor_a lame_a soul_n and_o lead_v and_o carry_v it_o of_o be_v not_o able_a to_o go_v one_o step_n in_o any_o of_o his_o way_n without_o his_o hand_n but_o that_o it_o get_v one_o knock_n or_o bruise_v or_o other_o yea_o bless_v for_o ever_o be_v that_o god_n and_o saviour_n that_o will_v not_o suffer_v his_o poor_a creature_n to_o slip_v as_o he_o do_v other_o but_o be_v please_v in_o rich_a mercy_n to_o be_v ever_o awaken_n my_o poor_a drowsy_a spirit_n by_o one_o affliction_n or_o another_o the_o thought_n of_o which_o do_v much_o refresh_v my_o spirit_n and_o seem_v at_o present_a a_o special_a token_n of_o his_o love_n for_o which_o i_o desire_v to_o bless_v he_o and_o oh_o that_o i_o can_v praise_v the_o name_n of_o that_o god_n and_o father_n who_o be_v the_o father_n of_o all_o mercy_n and_o god_n of_o all_o consolation_n for_o true_o i_o must_v needs_o say_v i_o be_o persuade_v satan_n have_v not_o now_o be_v let_v loose_a to_o buffet_v i_o thus_o have_v i_o not_o be_v so_o sleepy_a and_o drowsy_a in_o spirit_n but_o bless_v be_v that_o rod_n that_o awake_v my_o poor_a soul_n from_o the_o sleep_n of_o any_o sin_n so_o that_o the_o lord_n will_v but_o please_v to_o work_v it_o out_o which_o i_o desire_v to_o wait_v on_o god_n for_o i_o shall_v for_o some_o respect_n have_v forbear_v this_o duty_n of_o praise_n but_o that_o the_o lord_n have_v let_v in_o the_o clear_a sight_n of_o this_o mercy_n as_o also_o lest_o i_o shall_v prove_v ungrateful_a for_o so_o large_a manifestation_n of_o mercy_n though_o all_o i_o can_v do_v in_o it_o be_v a_o mere_a nothing_o the_o great_a be_v the_o goodness_n of_o god_n that_o bow_v down_o to_o accept_v such_o break_a praise_n which_o i_o have_v cause_n even_o to_o lament_v over_o have_v too_o little_a spiritual_a life_n in_o they_o when_o as_o in_o truth_n my_o whole_a soul_n and_o body_n shall_v be_v a_o holy_a and_o lively_a sacrifice_n to_o god_n which_o the_o lord_n enable_v i_o to_o do_v to_o that_o god_n whence_o all_o my_o enjoyment_n come_v in_o who_o i_o desire_v to_o rest_v your_o unworthy_a but_o in_o desire_n and_o hope_v real_a friend_n for_o my_o lord_n sake_n finis_fw-la the_o second_o book_n of_o manifold_a experiment_n of_o god_n deal_v with_o my_o soul_n in_o hear_v prayer_n and_o other_o gracious_a income_n of_o love_n the_o lord_n be_v please_v to_o help_v i_o very_o much_o in_o this_o search_n by_o mr._n knight_n who_o speak_v from_o this_o scripture_n at_o fulham_n the_o nine_o of_o this_o nine_o month_n in_o the_o 12_o of_o luke_n 42_o 43._o from_o which_o he_o show_v we_o have_v the_o lord_n set_v out_o the_o blessedness_n of_o that_o servant_n that_o be_v faithful_a in_o the_o work_n that_o his_o lord_n intru_v he_o about_o and_o who_o his_o lord_n when_o he_o come_v find_v to_o be_v so_o do_v as_o he_o appoint_v now_o o_o my_o soul_n what_o comfortable_a hope_n can_v thou_o gather_v out_o from_o the_o serious_a examination_n of_o thy_o own_o heart_n upon_o this_o point_n that_o the_o lord_n have_v make_v thou_o faithful_a though_o thou_o be_v poor_a weak_a and_o unworthy_a every_o way_n to_o be_v the_o servant_n of_o such_o a_o lord_n what_o can_v thou_o say_v to_o this_o have_v the_o lord_n indeed_o make_v thou_o faithful_a ans_fw-fr 1._o i_o gather_v some_o hope_n of_o it_o that_o the_o lord_n have_v make_v i_o in_o some_o measure_n faithful_a from_o that_o sincerity_n that_o the_o lord_n have_v put_v into_o my_o heart_n to_o aim_v pure_o at_o his_o glory_n in_o all_o i_o do_v in_o this_o world_n the_o contrary_a to_o which_o cause_v much_o bitterness_n in_o my_o spirit_n yet_o through_o the_o prevalency_n of_o the_o unregenerate_a part_n in_o i_o i_o be_o many_o time_n bias_v and_o carry_v aside_o to_o aim_v at_o other_o thing_n in_o many_o of_o my_o way_n but_o the_o glory_n of_o my_o lord_n be_v my_o principal_a aim_n for_o if_o i_o know_v any_o thing_n of_o my_o own_o heart_n through_o mercy_n i_o do_v find_v it_o set_v to_o seek_v the_o honour_n of_o christ_n and_o to_o walk_v in_o way_n well_o please_v to_o he_o though_o i_o do_v too_o often_o sad_o wander_v from_o these_o intent_n and_o desire_n which_o be_v discover_v to_o be_v the_o real_a burden_n of_o my_o life_n 2._o in_o that_o the_o lord_n have_v be_v please_v to_o put_v into_o my_o soul_n i_o hope_v a_o real_a desire_n te_fw-la do_v his_o whole_a will_n and_o therein_o to_o appear_v faithful_a daily_o desire_v and_o beg_v of_o he_o that_o i_o may_v not_o at_o any_o time_n in_o any_o command_n of_o his_o be_v find_v consult_v with_o flesh_n and_o blood_n but_o that_o as_o soon_o as_o ever_o he_o discover_v his_o will_n in_o any_o thing_n whatever_o to_o i_o that_o he_o will_v also_o enable_v i_o to_o obey_v it_o ready_o find_v the_o spirit_n of_o the_o lord_n i_o hope_v oftentimes_o breathe_v in_o my_o soul_n after_o this_o manner_n lord_n if_o thou_o will_v but_o discover_v thy_o mind_n &_o will_n to_o i_o in_o all_o my_o way_n that_o be_v it_o i_o beg_v of_o thou_o and_o though_o it_o be_v never_o so_o contrary_a to_o flesh_n and_o blood_n yea_o though_o i_o can_v see_v nothing_o but_o that_o it_o be_v lay_v out_o for_o to_o afflict_v i_o and_o to_o be_v a_o trial_n and_o exercise_v for_o i_o and_o so_o have_v nothing_o to_o induce_v i_o but_o thy_o will_n yet_o lord_n if_o thou_o will_v but_o discover_v thy_o mind_n in_o it_o to_o i_o what_o will_v i_o then_o beg_v of_o thou_o but_o only_o a_o ready_a frame_n to_o yield_v obedience_n to_o thy_o will_n and_o leave_v the_o success_n &_o sanctify_v of_o it_o to_o i_o to_o thyself_o and_o if_o on_o the_o other_o side_n i_o think_v any_o mercy_n to_o be_v never_o so_o good_a or_o for_o my_o advantage_n yet_o if_o thou_o see_v meet_v to_o discover_v to_o my_o soul_n that_o thy_o will_n be_v not_o in_o it_o will_v i_o not_o then_o if_o i_o know_v my_o own_o heart_n beg_v above_o all_o thing_n to_o have_v my_o will_n to_o be_v whole_o swallow_v up_o into_o thou_o lord_n and_o this_o hope_n be_v ground_v in_o some_o measure_n upon_o the_o abundant_a experience_n the_o lord_n have_v give_v i_o of_o his_o goodness_n and_o mercy_n and_o abundant_a kindness_n in_o his_o often_o deny_v i_o of_o my_o will_n 3_o i_o hope_v the_o lord_n have_v in_o some_o measure_n make_v i_o a_o faithful_a servant_n in_o that_o he_o have_v set_v my_o soul_n upon_o the_o watch_n to_o know_v his_o mind_n and_o will_n endeavour_v and_o desire_v to_o keep_v my_o eye_n upon_o he_o and_o he_o only_o that_o i_o may_v see_v what_o his_o mind_n and_o will_n be_v who_o have_v say_v that_o he_o will_v guide_v he_o by_o his_o eye_n which_o cause_v my_o soul_n though_o with_o much_o weakness_n not_o only_o earnest_o to_o desire_v but_o also_o to_o endeavour_v to_o reflect_v upon_o all_o my_o motion_n and_o action_n and_o thought_n and_o word_n in_o this_o
degree_n of_o it_o which_o thou_o see_v through_o mercy_n by_o other_o though_o not_o visible_o to_o they_o thus_o do_v the_o lord_n bring_v a_o good_a issue_n out_o of_o their_o own_o speech_n and_o word_n cause_v thou_o to_o lie_v down_o at_o his_o foot_n expect_v the_o punishment_n of_o thy_o iniquity_n yea_o great_a difficulty_n than_o these_o have_v the_o lord_n carry_v thou_o through_o when_o all_o the_o power_n of_o hell_n and_o thy_o own_o corruption_n have_v combine_v together_o to_o keep_v thou_o from_o duty_n of_o prayer_n meditation_n and_o examination_n and_o the_o like_a and_o yet_o the_o lord_n have_v enable_v thou_o to_o break_v through_o all_o and_o to_o pour_v out_o thy_o soul_n to_o he_o when_o thou_o be_v even_o in_o thy_o own_o apprehension_n at_o the_o pit_n brink_n and_o yet_o resolve_v to_o cry_v to_o he_o and_o not_o to_o give_v over_o cry_v and_o call_v whilst_o thou_o live_v notwithstanding_o all_o temptation_n to_o the_o contrary_a yea_o the_o more_o strong_a the_o temptation_n be_v the_o more_o speedy_o be_v thou_o fain_o to_o address_v to_o the_o lord_n for_o his_o strength_n and_o power_n to_o assist_v thou_o in_o grapple_v with_o they_o yea_o when_o some_o time_n overcome_v as_o it_o be_v and_o beat_v down_o by_o satan_n and_o enter_v the_o very_a border_n of_o despair_n yet_o even_o thence_o from_o this_o belly_n of_o hell_n in_o which_o thou_o do_v apprehend_v thyself_o already_o enter_v do_v not_o the_o lord_n enable_v thou_o to_o cry_v to_o he_o &_o resolve_v to_o give_v he_o no_o rest_n yea_o when_o thou_o find_v no_o advantage_n or_o profit_n of_o all_o thy_o prayer_n and_o tear_n &_o sigh_n &_o croan_n but_o that_o the_o lord_n seem_v to_o turn_v a_o deaf_a ear_n yet_o do_v not_o the_o lord_n enable_v thou_o to_o go_v on_o and_o to_o tell_v he_o that_o all_o those_o comfort_n and_o enjoyment_n here_o below_o they_o be_v poor_a mean_a thing_n such_o as_o thou_o can_v not_o take_v for_o thy_o portion_n and_o therefore_o do_v beg_v with_o submission_n to_o his_o will_n that_o if_o he_o have_v no_o other_o for_o thou_o but_o the_o portion_n of_o this_o life_n that_o he_o will_v please_v to_o deny_v thou_o they_o also_o and_o never_o give_v they_o to_o be_v a_o snare_n but_o rather_o let_v thou_o end_v thy_o day_n in_o some_o desolate_a wilderness_n 3._o faithfulness_n appear_v in_o cheerful_a service_n now_o o_o my_o soul_n be_v thou_o not_o able_a to_o say_v before_o the_o lord_n the_o searcher_n of_o heart_n through_o his_o grace_n that_o so_o much_o faithfulness_n as_o thou_o can_v discern_v in_o thou_o in_o any_o service_n of_o thy_o lord_n be_v thy_o very_a joy_n and_o rejoice_n of_o thy_o heart_n but_o on_o the_o other_o side_n so_o much_o unfaithfulness_n as_o thou_o can_v discern_v in_o any_o service_n this_o be_v it_o that_o make_v thou_o go_v mourn_v all_o thy_o day_n because_o thou_o be_v no_o more_o fruitful_a 4._o o_o my_o soul_n thy_o faithfulness_n in_o some_o measure_n appear_v in_o that_o thou_o be_v rejoice_v real_o in_o spirit_n when_o any_o opportunity_n be_v put_v into_o thy_o hand_n and_o thy_o heart_n be_v enable_v in_o any_o measure_n to_o improve_v it_o to_o the_o service_n and_o for_o the_o glory_n of_o thy_o lord_n and_o be_v thou_o not_o on_o the_o contrary_a grieve_v that_o thou_o have_v so_o many_o opportunity_n offer_v before_o thou_o but_o like_o a_o fool_n have_v not_o a_o heart_n to_o improve_v they_o for_o the_o glory_n of_o thy_o lord_n be_v not_o this_o thy_o daily_a burden_n lord_n thou_o know_v it_o be_v &_o when_o through_o the_o subtlety_n of_o satan_n and_o deceit_n of_o my_o own_o heart_n i_o fool_n away_o many_o rich_a opportunity_n by_o not_o improve_n of_o they_o which_o after_o prove_v a_o sad_a burden_n and_o affliction_n to_o i_o 5._o o_o my_o soul_n do_v there_o not_o appear_v some_o degree_n of_o faithfulness_n to_o thy_o lord_n in_o that_o thy_o endeavour_n do_v come_v still_o beneath_o thy_o desire_n have_v not_o the_o lord_n real_o enable_v thou_o through_o grace_n to_o say_v with_o paul_n the_o good_a that_o i_o will_v do_v i_o do_v not_o but_o o_o that_o i_o can_v do_v it_o that_o i_o can_v serve_v the_o lord_n more_o and_o better_o but_o oh_o how_o low_o do_v i_o live_v and_o how_o poor_o do_v i_o walk_v but_o oh_o that_o i_o can_v come_v to_o prayer_n and_o read_v and_o hear_v and_o meditate_v and_o do_v all_o private_a and_o public_a duty_n and_o walk_v in_o all_o my_o relation_n in_o this_o world_n as_o may_v honour_v this_o my_o lord_n be_v not_o these_o the_o continual_a groan_n and_o breathe_n of_o my_o heart_n before_o the_o lord_n lord_n thou_o know_v it_o for_o i_o have_v none_o i_o desire_v to_o appeal_v unto_o but_o to_o thou_o the_o searcher_n of_o my_o heart_n 6._o lord_n do_v not_o some_o faithfulness_n appear_v to_o be_v wrought_v in_o my_o soul_n by_o thou_o in_o that_o thou_o have_v above_o all_o thing_n make_v i_o to_o delight_v in_o that_o work_n that_o no_o eye_n see_v but_o thyself_o thou_o know_v what_o a_o fear_n have_v be_v upon_o my_o spirit_n and_o be_v to_o this_o day_n in_o a_o great_a measure_n to_o appear_v before_o other_o thou_o lord_n know_v how_o many_o year_n this_o fear_n have_v be_v as_o a_o prison_n to_o keep_v in_o the_o working_n of_o my_o heart_n &_o as_o door_n to_o my_o mouth_n to_o keep_v it_o from_o lament_v itself_o not_o so_o much_o as_o in_o one_o word_n in_o the_o hear_n of_o other_o lest_o there_o shall_v any_o pride_n or_o hypocrifie_n act_n in_o it_o yea_o to_o this_o very_a day_n how_o many_o service_n wherein_o perhaps_o thy_o lord_n may_v be_v honour_v be_v thou_o prevent_v and_o dare_v not_o to_o act_v in_o upon_o this_o very_a account_n that_o it_o can_v be_v do_v in_o private_a can_v thou_o not_o say_v before_o the_o searcher_n of_o heart_n that_o such_o thought_n and_o apprehension_n and_o fear_n as_o these_o lest_o other_o shall_v esteem_v thou_o better_o than_o thou_o be_v or_o thy_o own_o spirit_n be_v lift_v up_o before_o the_o lord_n or_o any_o false_a end_n bias_n thou_o in_o it_o that_o such_o thought_n i_o say_v as_o thief_n do_v often_o as_o it_o be_v tie_v up_o thy_o tongue_n sow_v up_o thy_o mouth_n in_o all_o company_n even_o while_o at_o that_o instant_n thy_o heart_n be_v even_o ready_a to_o split_v or_o break_v in_o piece_n for_o want_n of_o vent_n sometime_o apprehend_v that_o those_o discovery_n that_o the_o lord_n be_v please_v sometime_o to_o make_v to_o thou_o and_o the_o rich_a grace_n he_o be_v please_v to_o manifest_v in_o thou_o in_o overcome_v all_o the_o unkindness_n in_o thou_o ought_v not_o to_o be_v put_v unnder_v a_o bushel_n but_o hold_v out_o to_o other_o and_o yet_o not_o dare_v to_o do_v it_o find_v my_o wretched_a heart_n so_o prone_a to_o be_v lift_v up_o upon_o all_o such_o occasion_n and_o so_o dishonour_n god_n that_o way_n and_o so_o deceive_v other_o and_o myself_o also_o and_o through_o both_o these_o fear_v my_o soul_n often_o walk_v sad_o before_o the_o lord_n fear_v to_o offend_v he_o and_o not_o be_v able_a to_o discern_v it_o whether_o way_n i_o may_v most_o honour_v he_o have_v make_v trial_n of_o both_o sometime_o silent_a and_o sometime_o speak_v and_o find_v the_o wickedness_n of_o my_o heart_n appear_v sad_o in_o both_o i_o know_v not_o sometime_o which_o be_v best_a the_o lord_n in_o mercy_n manifest_a and_o clear_v up_o to_o i_o o_o my_o soul_n thus_o may_v it_o probable_o and_o hopeful_o appear_v to_o thou_o that_o the_o lord_n have_v make_v thou_o in_o some_o measure_n his_o faithful_a servant_n 1._o the_o lord_n have_v give_v i_o some_o hope_n that_o i_o trust_v i_o have_v no_o other_o master_n that_o i_o willing_o call_v rabbi_n or_o willing_o serve_v but_o my_o lord_n jesus_n nor_o have_v i_o any_o other_o work_n that_o i_o do_v upon_o which_o my_o heart_n be_v delightful_o set_v upon_o but_o only_o my_o lord_n work_v and_o this_o appear_v far_a to_o i_o in_o that_o the_o lord_n have_v i_o hope_v in_o some_o measure_n wrought_v my_o heart_n to_o this_o frame_n of_o spirit_n to_o desire_v above_o all_o thing_n to_o serve_v my_o lord_n christ_n in_o all_o the_o relation_n he_o have_v set_v i_o in_o in_o this_o world_n and_o to_o that_o end_n every_o fail_n in_o any_o of_o they_o either_o as_o a_o child_n or_o friend_n or_o any_o relation_n though_o i_o too_o sad_o fail_v in_o they_o all_o this_o be_v that_o which_o if_o my_o heart_n deceive_v i_o not_o above_o all_o thing_n break_v my_o heart_n to_o think_v that_o hereby_o i_o do_v dishonour_n my_o lord_n jesus_n and_o that_o profession_n of_o be_v his_o servant_n it_o be_v not_o