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A16743 Fantasticks seruing for a perpetuall prognostication. Descants of 1 The vvorld. 2 The earth. 3 VVater. 4 Ayre. 5 Fire. 6 Fish. 7 Beasts. 8 Man. 9 VVoman. 10 Loue. 11 Money. 12 The spring. 13 Summer. 14 Haruest. 15 VVinter. 16 The 12. moneths 17 Christmas. 18 Lent. 19 Good Friday. 20 Easter day. 21 Morning. 22 The 12. houres. 23 Midnight. 24 The conclusion. Breton, Nicholas, 1545?-1626? 1626 (1626) STC 3650; ESTC S104782 20,140 46

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FANTASTICKS Seruing for A PERPETVALL Prognostication Descants of 1 The VVorld 2 The Earth 3 VVater 4 Ayre 5 Fire 6 Fish 7 Beasts 8 Man 9 VVoman 10 Loue. 11 Money 12 The Spring 13 Summer 14 Haruest 15 VVinter 16 The 12. Moneths 17 Christmas 18 Lent 19 Good Friday 20 Easter day 21 Morning 22 The 12. Houres 23 Midnight 24 The Conclusion LONDON Printed for Francis Williams 1626. To the VVorshipfull and worthy Knight Sir MARKE IVE of Riuers Hall in Essex N.B. wisheth on earth hearts ease and heauen hereafter SIR your many fauours and my small deserts make mee study how to discharge my selfe of ingratitude which not knowing better how to doe then by the labour of my spirit to shew the nature of my loue I haue thought good to present your patience with this little volume of varieties in which though the Title promise no matter of great worth yet it may be if you peruse it you shall finde somewhat that you may like in it howsoeuer it be it may serue you in the Winter to keepe you from sleep by the fire side and in the Summer in shady walkes to passe away idle time In briefe wishing it of that nature that might come neere the worthinesse of your acceptation I leaue it with my better seruice to the fauor of your good discretion and so in all humilitie rest Yours affectionately to command N. B. To the Reader IT was my hap of late walking thorow the fields to light vpon a peece of paper in which I found a kind of discourse set down vpon an imagination of midnight By whom it was written I know not but by whomsoeuer I liked it so well that wishing my selfe able to doe halfe so well I fell into an humor of imitating the veyne so neer as I could in description of the twelue houres the twelue moneths and some speciall dayes in the yere how wel to your liking I know not but my labour herein hath not bin little my desire much I meane to doe well which if I haue not I can be but sory that my dull wit hath not bin fed with a more pleasing humour but if you be able to iudge of the worth of it and like it I shall be more glad then proud of it howsoeuer it be hoping of your kindnes I leaue it to your like censure so loth to entertaine your patience with a long tale to little purpose I thus conclude and in affection and discretion I rest Your friend N. B. FANTASTICKS Descants of the Quarters Moneths and houres of the yeere with other matters The World TOuching my opinion of the world I will tell you as briefly as I can what I thinke of it a place wherein are contained the variety of things Men thinke women talk beasts féed birds flye fishes swim and wormes créep ayre pearceth windes blow cold nippeth fire heateth grasse groweth and time withereth Wealth is a Iewell and pouerty is a plague Conscience is a charge and care is a burden Pride is a Lord of misrule and beauty is painted Mars must yéeld to Mercury and Diana is a strange woman Cupid is an idle inuention and all is as good as nothing Loue is more talked of then proued Couetousnesse the key of wit Nature the trouble of Reason and Will the master of the Senses Beauty is an eye sore Learning a taske Ualour a heat and reason a study A King a great man a Souldier a stout man a Courtier a fine man a Lawyer a wise man a Merchant a rich man a Begger a poore man and an honest man an honest man Fayre weather is chearfull foule weather is melancholicke The day is lightsome and the night is darksom Meate is necessary and sléepe is easefull and drinke doth well and exercise doth not amisse Law is good and punishment is méet and reward would be thought on and fooles would be pityed and so Opinions differ and Iudgements vary and Time trauailes and Trueth is a vertue and wisedome an honor and honor is a title and Grace a gift and Patience a blessing and Content a Kingdome and so from one thing to another a trouble in all A kingdome full of care wit full of trouble power full of charge youth full of action Age full of griefe and none content with his condition wishing in one willing in another thinking in one doing in another working in one crossing in another thoughts words and déeds so different in their effects that for ought I can sée in it when I haue well considered of it I can say thus much of it He is happy that hath not to doe with it And not to dwell too long vpon it to conclude my opinion briefl● of it I hold it the Labyrinth of wit and the toyle of vnderstanding the pilgrimage of patience and the purgatory of reason Farewell Loue. TOuching my Iudgement of Loue it is if it bee any thing such a thing to speake of that to tell truly I know not well what to say of it but yet what I imagine of it I will tell you at the first I ghesse it was an old nothing to exercise wit in idlenes and now is a kind of new-nothing to féed folly with imagination but be it what it will be or may be this wanton Loue that this world is too full of whatsoeuer it is thus much I find of it It is begotten by the eyes bred in the braines walkes in the tongue growes with the flesh and dyes in an humour and this ill commonly doth trouble wit hinder Arte hurt Nature disgrace Reason lose time and spoile substance It crosseth wisedome serueth Beautie and sotteth Folly weakneth strength and baseth Honour It is only Willes darling Patience triall and Passions torture the pleasure of melancholy and the play of madnesse the delight of varieties and the deuiser of vanities The Uirgins cracke and the Widowes crosse The Batchelors bane and the maried mans Purgatory the Yong mans misery and the Ageds consumption The abuse of Learning the ground of Enuy the stirrer of wrath and the cause of mischiefe The disquiet of the mind the distractor of the Wit the disturber of the Senses and the destruction of the whole body A fained god an idle fancy a kind of fury and in some kind a frenzy To conclude I hold it an Inuention of idlenesse and an Imagination of Indiscretion the plague of people an dt he mocke of the Word Farewell Money TO tell you mine opinion of money I thinke it the Monarch of the world the maintainer of Pride the Nurse of Couetousnesse the Steward of Lechery the sower of Sedition the cause of war the sacke of a City and the ouerthrow of a Campe The Gluttons Purueyour and the Drunkards Cupbearer the Thiefes tempter and the Hangmans Master The misguider of Wit the corrupter of Conscience the blinder of Reason and the ouerthrow of Honour the Usurers God the poore mans oppression the Lawyers hope the Laborers hire doth good
poore must not beg for feare of the stockes a fire and a pai●e of Cards kéepe the ghests in the Ordinary and Tobacco is held very precious for the Rhewme The Coaches now begin to rattle in the stréet but the cry of the poore is vnpleasing to the rich Muffes and Cuffes are now in request and the shuttel-Cocke with the Battel-doore is a pretty house-exercise Tennis Baloune are sports of some charge and a quicke bandy is the Court-kéepers commodity dancing an●●encing are now in some vse and kind hearts and true Louers lye close to kéepe off cold the Titmouse now kéepes in the hollow trée and the black bird sits close in the bottome of a hedge In briefe for the little pleasure I find in it I thus conclude of it I hold it a Messenger of ill newes and a second seruice to a cold dinner Farewell Nouember IT is now Nouember and according to the old Prouerbe Let the Thresher take his flayle and the ship no more sayle for the high winds and the rough seas will try the ribs of the Shippe and the hearts of the Sailers Now come the Countrey people all wet to the Market and the toyling Carriers are pittifully moyled The yong Herne and the Shoulerd are now fat for the great Feast and the Wood cocke begins to make toward the Cockeshoot the Warriners now beginne to plie their haruest and the Butcher after a good bargaine drinks a health to the Grasier the Cooke and the Comfitmaker make ready for Christmas and the Minstrels in the Countrey beat their boyes for false fingring Schollers before breakefast haue a cold stomacke to their bookes and a Master without Art is fit for an A B. C. A red herring and a cup of Sacke make warre in a weake stomacke and the poore mans fast is better then the Gluttons surfet Trenchers and dishes are now necessary seruants and a locke to the Cubboord kéepes a bit for a néede Now beginnes the Goshauke to wéede the wood of the Phesant and the Mallard loues not to heare the belles of the Faulcon The winds now are cold and the Ayre chill and the poore die through want of Charitie Butter and Chéese beginne to rayse their prices and Kitchen stuffe is a commoditie that euery man is not acquainted with In summe with a conceit of the chilling cold of it I thus conclude in it I hold it the discomfort of Nature and Reasons patience Farewell December IT is now December hée that walkes the stréets shall find durt on his shooes Except hée goe all in bootes Now doth the Lawyer make an end of his haruest and the Client of his purse Now Capons and Hennes beside Turkies Geese and Duckes besides Béefe and Mutton must all die for the great feast for in twelue dayes a multitude of people will not bée fed with a little Now plummes and spice Sugar and Honey square it among pies and broth and Gossip I drinke to you and you are welcome and I thanke you and how doe you and I pray you bée merrie Now are the Taylors and the Tiremakers full of worke against the Holidayes and Musicke now must bée in tune or else neuer the youth must dance and sing and the aged sit by the fire It is the Law of Nature and no Contradiction in reason The Asse that hath borne all the yeare must now take a little rest and the leane Oxe must féed till hée bée fat The Footman now shall haue many a foule step and the Ostler shall haue worke enough about the héeles of the Horses while the Tapster if hée take not heed will lie drunke in the Seller The prices of meat will rise apace and the apparell of the proud will make the Taylor rich Dice and Cardes will benefit the Butler And if the Cooke doe not lacke wit hée will swéetly licke his fingers Starchers and Launderers will haue their hands full of worke and Periwigs and painting wil not bee a little set by strange stuffes will bee well sold strange tales well told strange sights much sought strange things much bought and what else as fals out To conclude I hold it the costly Purueyour of Excesse and the after breeder of necessitie the practice of Folly and the Purgatory of Reason Farewell Christmas day IT is now Christmas and not a Cup of drinke must passe without a Caroll the Beasts Fowle and Fish come to a generall execution and the Corne is ground to dust for the Bakehouse and the Pastry Cards and Dice purge many a purse and the Youth shew their agility in shooing of the wild Mare now good cheere and welcome and God be with you and I thanke you and against the new yeare prouide for the presents the Lord of Mis-rule is no meane man for his time and the ghests of the high Table must lacke no Wine the lusty bloods must looke about them like men and piping and dauncing puts away much melancholy stolne Uenison is swéet and a fat Coney is worth money Pit-falles are now set for small Birdes and a Woodcocke hangs himselfe in a gynne a good fire heats all the house and a full Almes-basket makes the Beggers Prayers the Maskers and the Mummers make the merry sport but if they lose their money their Drumme goes dead Swearers and Swaggerers are sent away to the Ale-house and vnruly Wenches goe in danger of Iudgement Musicians now make their Instruments speake out and a good song is worth the hearing In summe it is a holy time a duty in Christians for the remembrance of Christ and custome among friends for the maintenance of good fellowship In briefe I thus conclude of it I hold it a memory of the Heauens Loue and the worlds peace the myrth of the honest and the meeting of the friendly Farewell Lent IT is now Lent and the poore Stockfish is sore beaten for his stubbornnesse the Herring dominiers like a Lord of great Seruice and the fruit of the Dairy makes a hungry Feast Fasting and mourning is the life of the poore and the Dogges grow leane with the lacke of bones while the Prisoners heart is nipt with penury the Beasts of the Forrests haue a bare feed and the hard crusts try the téeth of the Begger The Byrd hath a little shelter in the Bush and a bitter frost makes a backward Spring The Sunne giues but little warmth and the March wind makes the Ayre cold The Fisher-men now are the Rakers of the Sea and the Oyster gapes to catch hold of the Crab Solitarinesse and Melancholy bréed the hurt of Nature and the naked nesse of the Earth is the eyes discomfort Idle people sit picking of Sallets and necessity of exercise is an enemy to study the winds grow dangerous to the Sayler and the Rockes are the ruine of the Merchant the Sentinell now keeps a cold watch and the Sconce is nothing comfortable to the Souldier the shepheard hath little pleasure in his Pipe and Age hath but a dead feeling