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A05326 A helpe to discourse. Or, A miscelany of merriment Consisting of wittie, philosophical and astronomicall questions and answers. As also, of epigrams, epitaphs, riddles, and iests. Together with the countrymans counsellour, next his yearely oracle or prognostication to consult with. Contayning diuers necessary rules and obseruations of much vse and consequence being knowne. By W.B. and E.P. Basse, William, d. ca. 1653, attributed name.; Phillips, Edward, 1630-1696?, attributed name.; Pond, Edward, d. 1629, attributed name. 1619 (1619) STC 1547; ESTC S117185 70,959 300

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of holy obedience what garments weare they that preserued their wearers from the diuell A. The garments of S. Francis as the Papists tell vs as if the diuell cold not as well know a knaue in a Fryars habit as in any other Q. VVhat is the reason of all other things that the Pope christens his Bels they hauing many times that preheminence before men A. That the sound of them might driue diuels out of the ayre cleare the skies chase away stormes tempests quench fires and giue some comfort to the very dead and the like To which purpose here the Bels ring out their owne peale En ego Campana nunquam denuntio vana Laudo deum verum plebem voco congrego elerum Diffunctos plango viuos voco fulmina frango Vex mea vox vitae voco vos ad sacra venite Sanctos collaudo tonitrus fugo funera claudo Funera plango fulgura frango sabatha pango Exicto Lentos dissipo ventos paco ceuentos Englished Behold my vses are not small That God to praise assemblies call That breke the thūder waile the dead And cleanse the aire of tempests bred With feare keep off the fiends of hell And all by vertue of my knell Q. VVhat numb was the most fatall to Rome A. The sixt number according to the verse ensuing Sextus Tarquinius Sextus Nero Sextus iste scilitet Papa Alexander 6. Semper sub sextis perdita Roma suit What other names or numbers to her woone In the sixt still she lost was Rome vndone Q. VVhat inscription or motto was that according to the fiction which Martin de Asello fixing ouer his Gate by reason of the false povating of the Painter cost him his Bishopricke A. Portapatens esto nulli claudaris honesto Where the Painter mistaking himselfe made the point at nulli and so made it Gate be open to none but shut out all honest men The Pope riding that way before Martin had corrected his inscription taking it profest knauery discarded him of his Bishoprick as it was a wonder and placed another in his house Who kept the inscription still but only altered the point and made it thus Porta patens esto nulli claudaris honesto Adding therevnto Ob vnum punctum caruit Martinus Asello Gate open to the good and shut out none For one poore point is all from Martin gone Q. There is a certaine thing that hath not the art of numeration neither knowes the order of time how it passeth and yet least wee should be ignorant or the time should deceiue vs it instructs vs both honestly A. A Clocke vpon which on thus writeth Qui nescit quo vita modo volat audiat bora Quam sit vitae breuis nos docet ille sonus Hee that would know how minutes steale away That peece vp howres that patch out the day This trusty watchman to supply our need Proclaimes our liues short span in their swift speed Q. What are the natures and dispositions of the foure Elements A. The earth is dry the water cold the ayre moyst and the fire hot Q Which is the highest of these Elements A. The fire whose nature is euer to mount vpward and if you turne it downeward it goes out thereupon Thence proceeds Saint Chrysostomes admiration that the Rayes of the Sun in nature hot in quality glorious doth shoot downeward so contrary to the fire Q What fire is that that sometimes followes and sometimes flyeth away A. An Ignus fatuus or walking fire one wherof keeps his station this time neere Windsor the pace of which is caused principally by the motion of the ayre for the swifter one runs the swifter it followes the motion of the ayre enforcing it Q. VVhat thing is that most vsefull and pretious in the world that produceth another of novse nor goodnesse at all A. Fire from whence proceedes smoake of which Lipsius writes Ita te tolle a humo vt absis a fumo Q. VVhat Coales do longest of all other preserne fire A. The Coales of Iuniper of whom it is reported that they haue kept fire a whole yeere together without supply or going out Q. VVhat is that which being the heauiest hardest of all things yet yeelds both to the extremity of fier and water A. A Stone Q. VVhat stone of all other is the greatest wonder A. The flint stone that preserues fire within it a wonderfull secret and benefit to man Q. VVhat is that which being first water afterwards assumed the form of a stone and still retaines it A. The Chrystall congealed by frost Q. What stone is that that yeelds neither to the fire nor to the hammer A. The Adamant which as our Naturalists obserue is dissolued onely by goates blood wherevpon S. Chrysostome writes though the heart of a Sinner be more harder then the Adamant yet wil the blood of Christ mollifie it Q Whether haue stones a vegitiue life or no. A. This if we doubt our Pioners and Mineralists will resolue vs who finde out by experience that although Mineralles buried deepe in the earth yet through diuers vaines and channels suck in moysture and nourishment as doe plants and trees and that they do likewise increase and grow though in a slower progression and degree then other things is probable and certaine Q. Is there a difference of prerogatiue among stones A. T' is answered there is For the stone in the Altar hath more honour then the stone in the streete For the one is kneeled vnto with deuotion the other troden on by the feet Q. Which are the most precious stones for mans vse A. The two milstones of the mill Of which the one neuer stirres and the other ne're lies still Q. VVhat birds of all other are the most gentle the most innocent A. The Doue for gentlenesse and simplicity is commended in Scripture for the Doue is among birds as the Sheepe is among beasts frō whose kind no hurt proceeds to man being a sotiable creature for his seruice of whom it is obserued that he yeelds vp his life for the sustenance of man sobbing it out with a kind of meeknesse and patience more then any other creature and for his vse there is nothing vnnecessary for our seruice in the whole composure of him his flesh being good for meate his guts for the strings of Instruments his dung to inrich the field his wooll for cloth so nothing superfluous So likewise the Doue a patient not an offensiue creature without beake or tallents of oppression hauing no other offence against their enemy the Hawke such like more then the swiftnesse of her wing according to the Poet Fello columbo caret rostro non ledit possidet innocuas puraque grana ledit Her food is graine her beake doth not offend No gall this creature hath nor no bad ende And therefore they hate the Hawke as it is said because of his beake Odimus Accipitrem quia semper vinit in armis We hate the Hauke and feare
and cranies of the earth and violently rushing out and the earth suddenly closing vp againe causeth the shaking or earthquake which is generally a fore-runner of warre Of Thunder and Lightning WHen an Exhalation hot and dry mixt with moysture is attracted into the middle Region and there inclosed in the body of a cloud now these two contraries thus included in one place together fall at variance and cannot bee reconciled but breake the prison wherein they are pent the violent out-rushing whereof maketh a noyse which wee call thunder and the fire lightning being both borne at one instant although the lightning bee the first perceiued in regard of the quicknesse of the eye before the eare Of the strange effects of Lightning THat which is dry burneth not at all that wich is moyst burneth not likewise but blasts and altereth the colour but that which is cleare is of a strange operation for it draweth vessels dry without hurting the Caske melteth the siluer without hurting the bagge breaketh the bones and hurteth not the skinne killeth the childe in the wombe without hurt to the mother It hurteth not the Law●ell tree entreth not aboue a yard into the earth such as are shadowed with the skins of Seales Sea calue● and the Eagle are safe as Pliny stories it The Auntient Aegyptians which were the first and best Astronomers haue obserued certaine yeares in a mans life to bee verie dangerous and these they name Clymacterical or stayry yeares Now a Clymactericall yeare is euery seuenth yeare of a mans life the reason is because then the course of the Planets returne to Saturne who most commonly is ●n enemy to our good and as the Moone which is the nearest and next Planet vnto vs and swiftest of course of all other passeth almost euerie seuenth day into the contrary signe of the same qualitie from whence shee came forth and so by that meanes bringeth in the Criticall dayes so Saturne which is the Planet furthest from vs and slowest of course for hee resteth in one signe so many yeares as the Moone doth dayes bringeth in likewise these Clymactericall yeares and causeth sundry mutations to follow hence it is that in the seuenth yeare children doe cast and renue their teeth Hereafter followeth certaine Clymactericall and dangerous yeares of a Mans life TThe 49. yeare composed of seuen times seuen dangerous 56. yeare to men especially borne in the night 63. yeares to those borne in the day time by reason of the drynesse of Mercurie and Venus Whereunto Octavius the Emperor seemeth to con●ent whereto this effect hee writeth to his Nephew to reioyce with him hauing passed ouer that deadly yeare enemy to old age 63 in which number the 7 and 9 do concurre as Heffman to that purpose more largely in his Booke De diebus an●nis Criticis reciteth The Criticall Dayes of a Mans life being collected throughout e●erie mo●eth are obserued these following 1 and 7 of Ianuary 2 and 4 of Frebruary 1 and 4 of March. 8 and 10 of Aprill 3 and 7 of May 10 and 15 of Iune 10 and 13 of Iuly 1 and 2 of August 3 and 30 of September 3 and ●0 of October 3 and 5 of Nouember 7 and 10 of December There are likewise in the year●more especially to be obserued 3 dangerous Mundayes to begin any businesse fall sicke or vndertake any iourney First Munday in Aprill which day Caine was borne and his brother Abel slaine Second Munday in August which day Sodom and Gommorrah were destroyed 31 Of December which day Iudas was borne that betrayed Christ. Of the 4. humors in mans body and how they raigne in their courses and first What a Humor is A Humour is a Distillation of a moyst and running body into which by the Limbecke of the liuer the meates are conuerted and diffused through the veynes and Alleys of the same for the better nourishmeut therof and are thus according to Lemnius described in his Booke De quatuor Complectionibus 1 Sanguine humor The bloud or sanguine humour is moyst and ruddy and hot the principall seate or cesterne thereof is the Liuer or Amwell head that watereth the whole Citie or body of man out of which issue forth the vitall spirits like vnto small and gentle winds that arise out of riuers and fountaines 2 Flegmaticke Humour The Phlegmaticke humour is of colour white and brackish and like vnto drops of fat his seate is chiefly in the kidneyes which separate to themselues the water from the bloud diuiding the bloud into the veines and expelling the water into vrine 3 Choller It is hote and fiery and to the taste bitter● like vnto Herbgrace or Rue and it serueth not onely to clense the guts of filth but also to califie the Liuer and to preserue the blood from putrifaction 4. Melancholy The Melancholy Humor is blacke and earthly resembling the lees of blood and hath his seate in the splene of which one thus writeth The Sanguine causeth cheerefulnes The Melancholy despaire The Collericke is churlish The Phlegmaticke is faire Euery one of these Humours raigne 6. howers blood is predominant from 9 of the clocke at night till 3 of the morning Choller from 3 of the clocke in the morning till nine of the same day Melancholly from nine till three in the afternoone and Phlegme from three in the afternoone till nine at night Also bloud hath his dominion in the Spring Choller in the Summer Melancholy in Autumne and Phlegm in Winter as Lemnius thus further in his sayd Booke testifieth Hereunto are annexed certaine verses describing the person and qualitie of that childe of Chase or Lady PECVNIA written long since by that Gentleman of quality I.T. and as something pertinent to our purpose hereinto inserted SHee is a Lady of most matchlesse carriage Wedded to none though saught of all in marriage Shee may be kistt yet neither washt nar clipt And if you wooe not warie soone ore-slipt Shee may belong and yet bee honest too To many Marchants spight they all cā do Who ere atchieues her speake her nore so fayre She le not stay long before she take the aire She le stay with no poore man her states so great A rich man may her for a time entreate Shee goes in cloth of siluer cloth of golde Off●uer all worths and values manif●lde But whē she goes in golden robes best d●●bt Then shee 's suspected most to be most light Shee needs no Physicke to recouer health For she 's still currant as rich in wel●h Some Irish Lady borne we may suppose Because shee runs so fast and neuer goes If shee be wrong'd in name and ill abide it Of all men Iustice Touchstone must decide it Shee that thus does and all doe thus to gaine her Being so atchieu'd shee is but slipperie bolde And will be gone vnlesse by force you straine her Changing her humour to another mould By pence and halfe pence and such little crummes Which of themselues so
of the earth slaughtered tormented in al coūtries France Spaine Portugall Germany and England some of their offences were washing clipping the kings coyne circūcising stealing of christian children pricking them full of holes for their blood which they cōceited wold cure the leprosie ranke smel both of their breath skin In king Iohns time they were fined at 1000. marks a man vpon penalty of not payment to lose their teeth an old Iew had 6. of his teeth pulled out because he refused to pay his fine Many 1000. of them were slaughtered in diuers kingdomes vpon a rumour spred that they had poysoned all the wells in those countries and where euer they liue at this day among Christians they liue in subiection and slauery to them they most hate Q What country in the world is the most desolate and solitarie A. The countrey of the Sodomites where Sathan wanne so much ground that whereas according to Strabos description stood 13. cities scituate vpon one of the most fruitfull soyles in the whole earth euen a second Eden or garden of Paradise for pleasure beauty whence sprong those clustering grapes from those vines of Engeddi so renowned in Scripture stands not now one of those cities to magnifie her selfe aboue her fellowes but all with Sodome the Lady of them all desolated and destroyed not one stone left vppon another nor no other witnesse of their somtimes being more then the dry smell of fire brimstone the heauy iusticers of God that destroyed thē for the fruit of that vine that made glad the heart of man in thē peruerted from his true vse to sin and drūkēnes are only found now apples of a beautious appearance but touch them and they are but ashes and of a sulphurous sauour an ayre of so poysonous a vapour aboue that as Historiographers write stifles the fowles that fly ouer it that they fall downe dead and the fishes likewise in that dead sea vnder it poysoned as they fall in or flote from the siluer streames of Iordan that thence emptie themselues into that sulphurous lake There are foure kinde of men that lay clayme to their owne or others and but one rightly and these are they 1. The first saith that which is mine is thine and that which is thine is mine and this is the Ideot 2. The second sayth that which is mine is mine and that which is thine is thine and this is the indifferent man 3. The third saith that which is mine is thine and that which is thine is thine owne and this is the godly man 4. The fourth saith that which is thine is mine that which is mine is mine owne and this is the wicked man Christ all and without Christ nothing Possidet ille nihil Christum qui perdidit vnum Perdidit ille nihil Christum qui possidet vnum Q. What doe wee owe vnto our neighbour A. Three things that is to say nostrum nosse in consiliis nostrum posse in subsidiis nostrum velle in desideriis To counsell to assist to desire his good Three things are most precisely necessarie for euery Christian man and what they are Faith without the which we cā not please God A good name without the which we cā not please our neighbour A good cons. without the which we cā not please our selues Of the latter which one writes O vita secura vbi est conscientia pura O life secure that hath the conscience pure Q Why do yong men many times say they are yonger then they are and old men they are older then they are A. This doth youth that hee may seeme to preserue the flower of his youth the longer this doth age to regaine more reuerence and authoritie but either foolishly Q. Hee that learnes from youth who doth he resemble A. He that eats grapes before they are ripe drinks wine before it be setled Q But who doth hee resemble that drawes his precepts from old men A. He that eates ripe grapes and drinks old wine for seniores sunt saniores incipientes insipientes And likewise Quae laboriosa fuere inuentuti studia ea suntiucūda senectuti otia Whose studies were not painfull in youth their pleasures are more perfect in age and truely she lends the more nourishment whē to the other but as Bastards she withdraweth it from them Q. Why are Cats and Whelps brought forth blinde A. Because that drawing neere to their maturity and ripenesse they wound and pierce the Matrixe with their clawes wherupon by their Dams they are hastily and imperfectly cast forth before their time Q. Why blood issues afresh from an old member or wound many dayes before made and dryed vp the murderer approching neere vnto it A. Our Naturalists obserue diuers Naturall causes to the effecting of the same which for their vncertainty wee meddle not withal But thus conclude that murther shall not bee concealed or vnreuenged and to that ende that blood of the slaughtered cries for vengeance at the hands of God which God so regarding by that meanes answeres to approue to man what often seemeth doubtfull Q VVhy doth the affections of Parents runne vpwards to their children and not their children run downewards to them A. Euen as the sap in the root of a tree ascends into the branches thereof and from the branches returnes not into the root againe bu runs out from thence into seed so parents loue their children but children so loue not their parents but their affections runs forward to a further procreation wherby it comes to passe that a father with more willingnesse brings vp ten children then ten children in his want sustaines one father Q How is it that there be many more women in the world then men A. Some thinke because women are exempted from the warres from the seas imprisonment and many other troubles and dangers of the land to be a reason sufficient So others likewise there are that thinke this may be a reason because in the whole course of Nature the worst things are euer most plentifull to which effect Plynie tels a Story of a certaine field-mouse that euery moneth brings forth thirty when the Elephant a creature of vse and seruice is three yeeres in trauell with one Questions of the Earth Q. How many miles is the earth in circuit A. It is vncertaine and cannot rightly bee defined for as the Lord saith who hath measured the earth yet the Mathematicians Astrologiās are of opinion that it is 4. times 5400. miles but howsoeuer in respect of the Heauens they conclude it but a point where euery Star in the eight spheare is esteemed bigger then the whole circumference thereof where if the body of the earth should bee placed in the like splendor it would hardly appeare yet as saith a Father we make this little so great a matter so admiring this miserable dust on which not onely wee that are but dust wormes do creepe but also many other wormes