And I my selfe too blame Pi. Let us retire then Vic. Mistake me not good Signior Keep your distance I blame my selfe to let you overweene By my long silence that immodesty To be in me that might embolden you To your and my dishonor Pray desist And let the friendly welcome you have found Perswade your faire construction Pi. Is this earnest Vic. Yes in sooth is it Pi. I 'le be playner then What make you here i' th' Smock-Faire precious Mistris Or why these dressings these perfumes and paintings Doe you weare the habit of our Curtezans And by their art call Gazers to your beauty Full of high hopes and flames of ardent Love Thus to delude and make them witnesses Of a cold seeming Chastity what new Art Is this it cannot be to get a husband Vic. Nor a child neither sir that 's lesse Pi. That 's soone believ'd yet no disparagement To your expert sufficiency in the trade For the best Carpenters make fewest chips There 's very few of all your function fruitfull Yet some there be approved men at armes Famous in publique service and a many Good handy craftsmen in the Arsenall Bred by this bounteous City from such mothers That nere could boast their fathers and as many Daughters if they prove worthy in their feature Succeed their active Mothers in their fortunes Vic. You are better read then I sir Pi. T is common knowledge Lady Nor do I Read this t' informe your selfe who were instructed I make no doubt before your price was set By all examples to your present practise Vic. Sir I must tell you now you grow too lavish So as I feare foule language to' avoyd which Let me intreat a faire departure hence Pi. Lady this overacted State might fit The wife of a Clarissimo or the bashfull Daughter of some Patrician but in you A piece set out to sale it but appeares Affected singularity more unsutable To the temptations you weare about you Then th' holy seeming pictures in your Chamber Vic. Why should it trouble you sir Pi. It dos to thinke what new and secret aime You may intend by this in taking on you The habit and the name of Curtezan And first to set a price so far beyond The strength of any ordinary meanes And then to shew a carriage that may strike Lust out of countenance O the Knot 's dissolv'd O Oedipus O Sphynx I now have found it You fish for Fishermen t is pregnant truth Shee claps a Cardinall aboord at least T is not a Lay-mans purse or Learning can Or purchace or confute you i st not so Vic. Now you are foule indeed and I must plead My priviledge against you sir you know I have a freedome grounded upon custome Here in this City for a moneth to make Choyce of my Lodging set what price I please Upon my selfe admit what visitants I shall thinke fit no other nor no more And this without controule or least exception Of you or any man secur'd by th' City So safe from out-rages that least abuse May on my just complaint be punishable In whomsoever by affront dares grive me Pi. I feare shee 'l prove another creature then The Beast I tooke her for shee knows her strength Vic. Yet thus much for you are a Gentleman I 'le yeild for satisfaction unexacted If in this Moneths space in that honor'd way For I despaire not of a husband sir Of holy Marriage I be not promov'd Nor by that time prefix'd the great Son tenderd Great as you terme 't for my virginity And that I stoope for lesse here is my hand I will be yours as freely as mine owne At your own price Pi. Said like a noble Wench Onely a word by way of friendly advise And so farewell This Maydenhead of yours By you so highly pris'd now being ripe And therein only merchantable ware Will if you overslip the season grow Sodainly fulsome streight way stale then Rotten Think upon choycest Fruit or Foule or Fish Rich Wines or any Rarity how soone Their vertue 's lost Vic I am enough instructed Pi. Once more farewell pray ponder on these things Vic. Feare not I shall Pi. Could you consider how 't would grieve a soule Indued with Reason Knowing the true use Of Nature 's delicates to see 'hem lost Or spoil'd for want of seasonable taking I know you would and thanke me for my counsell Vic. Indeed and so I doe Pi. Indeed farwell then Exit Vic. Hee 's gone at last the tedious storme is over I shall want day as well as patience T' indure and answer all the rest so largely See my sprightly Frenchman I must looke For a hot Onset now though a short Skirmish Enter Horatio like a French cavalier Paulo presents him Hor. Let me in my approach admire that Object That vindicates the voyce of Fame in proving Shee was no Lyer in the lowd reports That blaz'd it for the Beauty of the World Vic. Good sir beware idolatry Hor. The Egiptians Would they forbeare their wonted heathenish worship And fall in adoration of this face Vic. Indeed I 'le heare no more Hor. Lady you must You are so farre above the pitch of flattery That highest courtship in our best of Language Wants due expression of your supreame graces And not to tender you the heighth of prayse Were mere Rusticity rather prophanation Vic. Yet Let me stay you there and let me tell you You have worded well your high conceipt of me But in a way so low so undeserving A courtiers art that I have found you none Hor. No Courtier Lady Vic. No no Courtier sir How can it fall in courtly understanding That beauty can be conquerd by it's praise It breeds but lesse respect and oft times scorne From those that are ambitious of praise On such praise-givers And if you came onely Thus to pronounce my praise you have said enough Hor. Nay dearest Lady saving your displeasure I must come closer to her shee 'l forget Aside Shee is a whore else Vic. Sir your further pleasure Hor. To tell you Lady now I like your wit Equally with your beauty briefly of which A word or two and so unto our businesse You tax me with the losse of time already You doe consider fitly that to praise What we would purchace makes the value higher It is the chapmans rule to discommend Vic. Right sir were you to buy a Horse or Jewell You would not praise it past the price propounded Hor. Yes where I finde the worth exceed the price Vic. I am betray'd Hee brings the Money sure Aside Hor. And that you know I doe esteeme your worth Above all Salary I yeild my selfe Fraught with unvaluable Love and Honor To be the due reward of your embraces Vic. What 's this sir to a thousand double Duccatts Hor. You cannot thinke so poorely or if so Perceive them in a taste of my endowments First see my late composure where the flame Of the soule-ravishing art of Poesy May light
place let me beseech you Sir Vouchsafe your answer to a longing Maid That can be comforted in nothing more Then the good newes of your prosperity Of which I hope a part at least to be Preferr'd by your late promise to your service Sar. I will now breath a most strong and Poeticall execration Against the Universe Bri Sir I beseech you Sar. From henceforth Erit Fluvius Deucalionis The world shall flow with dunces Regnabitque and it shall raine Dogmata Polla Sophon Dogs and Polecats and so forth Bri. His Court advancement makes him mad I fear Sar. From hence let learning be abomination 'Mong the Plebeians till their ignorance Shall lead them blinde into the Lake of Lethe Bri. What pity 't is that honour and high places Should make men lose their wits sometimes their heads Sar. May Peasantry and Idiotism trample Upon the heads of Art and Knowledge till The world be shuffled in th' pristine Chaos Bri. Dear Sir though you are highly dignified Forget not the preferment that you promis'd me To scratch your head to make your bed to wash Your shirt to pick your toes and to evacuate Your Chamberpot Sar. Elephantem ex Musca facit She takes me for a Mountaine that am but a Mole-hill But when she reads my poverty agen And that these Garments must return to th' Gambrels Her scorn will be impetuous Enter Josina Crasie Jo. Go finde another room maid for your talk Mr. Sarpego my mother calls for you Sar. Has she receiv'd Aliquid novi newes from Court Jo. She has now receiv'd a Letter Pray be gone I have more serious business of mine own Ex. Sar. Brid You are the Creature then that my deare Doctor has sent me that can dance read write and be secret I shall use you all in all And I prithee how fares my Physitian Cra. I can confirm that he is yours protestedly And to morrow night Jo. Peace Here comes my mother Enter Pyannet reading a Letter I can my Cinquepace friend But I prithee teach me some tricks Who would care for a female that moves after the plain pace No Give me the woman of tricks Teach me some tricks I prethee Cra. Ha! Tricks of twenty Your Traverses Slidings Falling back Jumps Closings Openings Shorts Turns Pacings Gracings As for Corantoes Levoltoes Jigs Measures Pavins Brawls Galliards or Canaries I speak it not swellingly but I subscribe to no man Jos. T is a rare fellow Py. Am I then cheated my wit begins to be out of countenance O the Plague that hangs over her head that has a foole to her husband as thou and I have daughter Jo. How now sweet mother What ill newes changeth your face thus Py. O deare daughter my Lady Ticket writes here that the fool thy father is cheated of two rich Jewells that thou and I stole from the Ideot thy husband Crasie Cra. O that Crasy was ever a silly fellow Py. A very Citizen a very Citizen How should I call you Sir Jo. One Mr. Footwell Mother who teacheth Gentlewomen to doe all things Courtly to dance Courtly to love their husbands Courtly Cra. Your name is Mrs. Pyannet I take it Py. Pyannet Sneakup Sir Cra. Your husband is cozen'd at Court I take it Py. So my Lady Ticket writes Sir Cra. That Lady Ticket is a cunning creature I have been inward with her And such are my private Intelligences that if equall curtesie might recompence I could unshale a plot is upon you Py. Recompence Sir command me command my daughter my maid my house onely tell it I beseech you Jo. I pray see wherein we may be gratefull I pray speak Cra. So it is I am a decayed Gentleman quite out of repaire fallen for want of means to the use of my feet Nor have I hope to see better light but onely that Love and Fortune have put upon me a right wealthy widdow She lyes at a near neighbours house here and here I hover about her but for want of some good friends countenance some meanes for cloaths and fit housing she holds off from consummating our Marriage Now Lady Py. I apprehend you Sir Bring her to me lodge her with me I le call you Cousen I Is she very rich At a neer neighbours said you Not she at Mr. Wolsies is it Cra. The very same Py. By 'r Lady a match for my Esquir'd son and heire Beare a braine dancer or I may chance to shew you a crosse caper Sir bring your Widdow Sweare to your selfe my house is yours Now the plot or I burst Cra. Why then will I disclose who cozen'd you by what meanes you are injur'd and how you may be reveng'd onely you shal vow to conceale the secret-revealer else you lose the benefit of further Intelligence Py. Stand off daughter I will not trust mine own flesh with a secret for in truth I have found it fraile Now speak I beseech you Cra. Sure precious Mistresse very absolute creatures have had Cockscombs to their husbands Py. Nay that 's indubitable I know it by my self Cra Marry to bee made Cuckqueane by such a Cockscombe to have her Jewells prig'd away to bestow on a Court Mistresse to have a trick put upon her as you have 't would move I must confesse a woman that were not part a Philosopher and had a strong wit as you have Why did you not feele the deceit your husbands unworthinesse having no meanes to enjoy this Court-Lady but by gifts and having no course for gifts but from you procures some Pander to performe a fam'd message Your hope of game puts the weighty trust upon the counterfeit fool your husband his simplicity seems cozen'd whilst this Lady excuses all and keeps all So that your own Jewells purchase your owne horns nay and you were not withall laught at for your purchase 't were scarce enough to run mad for Py. 'T is most plaine I will have such a revenge as never woman had Enter Ticket Tic. Good Mrs. Pyannet bear 't as well as you may Your losse is heavy yet under the strength of your constant wisdome I faith my wife was so carefull lest you should take too deep sense of it that she importun'd my own presence to comfort you For sure I know Py. You are a Wittally Cuckold I know I commend thy wives modesty yet She will not doe it afore thy face but will send thee out of an errand yet Tic. What mean you you amaze me Py. Nay I look you should seem ignorant What to take sense or notice of your horne as long as it winds you into profit were most uncourtly Well you heare not me rage nor rave marry I will slit the Drabs nose crop off her eares scratch out her eyes Tic. Blesse us Py. Teare off her haire plucke out her throat that 's all Come along Sir Io. Now they are gone I prethee M. Footwell stay a little I will fetch thee some Letters to read for me which I have not open'd yet because I durst trust
shew you what he is And out of him what shee is whom you call So vertuous and so noble and you sir That mentioned the Hangman come all and see The commendable port this Lady beares It seems sir you affect this Gentlewoman Fab. The best of any living Pant. And you him Lady Vic. Yes he is my husband Pant. Would that were true ifaith The rogue your man Sayd he would fetch a Priest Enter Paulo in Friers habit Pau. No verier Rogue then my selfe sir Pant. Thou art a mad fellow for a Priest indeed But such a Priest such a Marriage Put 'em together Pau. I doe pronounce them lawfull man and wife Pant. The Bridegroome thankes you but you Mistris Bride For the fine trick you put on me last night Looke now upon your husband Who would you speake with fellow Enter Nicolo as the Zaffi Nic. With Signior Rastrofico here the Hangman I come to call him to State-businesse sir Pant. Can this be he you said he was a counterfeit I saw him ride the Wooden-horse last day With lesse then halfe this beard unbeard him sirrah I 'le beare you out So rest you Gentlemen With your so vertuous Lady and her husband Hor. Pi c. Fabritio Vic. Sir I must crave your pardon This is he My first love that I told you of Swa. You have it freely Lady Pant. I am abus'd and couzend Vic. I thanke you sir for all the harme you did me In your Revenge And harke you be at peace And I 'le be silent for your last nights worke Gua. Forbeare mee I am off againe Fran. Good sir Stop not the blessing you were about to give us Gua. I am off againe The pandare was the Priest The Match is no Match you no more my Children But Knave and strumpet Pant. I 'le not be so couzend This is no Priest and all that 's past unlawfull Pi. You will know more anon Paulo casts off his Perruk and Beard Pau. Then cast your eys on me who dare maintain My Priest-hood lawfull it being deriv'd From th' holy Order of St. Augustine Vic. Let me not surfet with excesse of joy My brother Paulo Pau. Thy brother and thy father vertuous sister Be ever subject of my dearest care And pardon me who jealous of thine honour Inflam'd by the same heart of the same blood For we are all the Relicts of our Parents Watch'd nearely and pursu'd thy scape from Rome For which I had good warrant Gentlemen See there my dispensation with th' allowance Of all the holy brotherhood of my Covent My ends were faire though in this uncouth way Tho' heaven I beg thy pardon as my care Was to preserve her life and more her honour Fearing her violent and abused spirit Might have made wrack of either or of both I once had secret purpose to have ta'ne Her Life in case shee had forsooke her honour And with her cut off Candianies Line Which now branch'd here may touch the worlds end With faire succession Be you blest for ever And now grave sirs let me intreat your likings And cheerefull reconcilement to your Children That so you may your Childrens Children see Crownd by the prayers of your prosperity Gua. I am content Pant. And I but for one scruple Cleare me this point how had you sav'd your honor If the old youth last night who shall be namelesse Had but mis-spent his time upon your moore here Vic. 'T is easily done sir see my lov'd Fabritio The Eunuch moore you gave me Fab. My boy Jacomo turn'd Chambermayd Has thy Mistris us'd thee well Vic. Not without much desert Jac. Shee meanes for your deare sake sir Fab. I see sweete Heart you have an honest Family Vic. Here you see all and all that came i' th' house Since it was made mine in this Convention I dare them not but give them freest leave To speake the worst they found in the Novella Omnes Wee all conclude y' are noble Pau. All 's well accorded then Wee all are Friends And may Priests travaile never to worse ends EPILOGUE CAuse 't is the Custome By the Poet Sirs I 'm sent to crave a Plaudit and the Spurrs That prick him on to 't is his promis'd Pay May chance to faile if you dislike the Play But don't if you be wise for hee has vow'd To write farre worse if this be not allow'd FINIS THE CITY WIT OR The VVoman wears the BREECHES A COMEDY LONDON Printed by T. R. for Richard Marriot and Thomas Dring and are to be sold at their Shops in Fleet-street 1653 The Prologue Quot quot adestis salvete salvetote Gentlemen YOu see I come unarm'd among you sine Virga aut Ferula without Rod or Ferular which are the Pedants weapons Id est that is to say I come not hither to be an Instructor to any of you that were Aquilam volare docere aut Delphinum natare to teach the Ape well learned as my selfe Nor came I to instruct the Comedians That were for me to be Asinus inter simias the fool o' the Company I dare not undertake them I am no Paedagogus nor Hypodidascalus here I approach not hither ad erudiendum nec ad Corrigendum Nay I have given my Schollars leave to play to get a Vacuum for my selfe to day to Act a particle here in a Play an Actor being wanting that could beare it with port and state enough A Pedant is not easily imitated Therefore in person I for your delight have left my Schoole to tread the Stage Pray Jove the terror of my brow spoile not your mirth for you cannot forget the fury of a Tutor when you have layne under the blazing Comet of his wrath with quaeso Praeceptor te precor da c. But let feare passe nothing but mirth's intended But I had forgot my selfe A Prologue should be in Rhyme c. therefore I will begin agen Kind Gentlemen and men of gentle kinde There is in that a figure as you 'll finde Because wee l take your eares as 't were in Ropes I le nothing speak but figures strayns tropes Quot quot adestis Salvete salvetote The Schoolemaster that never yet besought yee Is now become a suitor that you 'll sit And exercise your Judgement with your wit On this our Comedy which in bold Phrase The Author sayes has past with good applause In former times For it was written when It bore just Judgement and the seal of Ben Some in this round may have both seen 't and heard Ere I that beare its title wore a Beard My sute is therefore that you will not looke To find more in the Title then the Booke My part the Pedant though it seem a Columne Is but a Page compar'd to the whole volume What bulk have I to bear a Scene to passe But by your favours multiplying Glasse In nova fert Animus then I le do my best To gaine your Plaudite among the rest So with the salutation I first brought
Boy of a very honest Appetite sober Ignorance and modest Understanding My old Grandmothers Latine is verified upon him Ars non habet Inimicum praeter Ignorantem Ignorance is womans greatest Enemy Who 's within Bridget Enter Bridget Bri. Here forsooth Jos. Go your wayes to Mistresse Parmisan the Cheesmongers Wife in old Fishstreet and commend me to her and intreat her to pray Mistresse Collifloore the Hearb-woman in the Old Change that she will desire Mistris Piccadell in Bow-lane in any hand to beseech the good old dry Nurse mother Et cetera shee knowes where to provide me an honest handsome secret young man that can write and read written hand Take your errand with you that can write and read written hand Bri. I warrant you forsooth Exit Jos. So now will I meditate take a nap and dreame out a few fancies ACT I. Sene II. Enter Crasy booted Ticket Rufflit Tobias Sarpego Linsy woolsy Tic. WEE take our leaves Mr. Crasy and wish good Journey to you Ruff. Farewell good Mr. Crasy Tob. Adiue Brother Sar. Iterum iterumque vale Lin. Heartily Godbuy good Mr. Crasy Cra. Nay but Gentlemen A little of your patience you all know your own Debts and my almost impudent necessities satisfie me that J may discharge others Will you suffer me to sink under my Freenes shall my goodnesse and ready Pietie undoe me Sir Andrew Ticket you are a profest Courtier and should have a tender sense of honor This is your day of payment for two hundred pound Tic. Blood of Bacchus t is true t is my day what then Dost take me for a Cittizen that thou thinkest I 'll keep my day No thou 'st find that I am a Courtier let my day keep me and 't will But dost heare Come to the Court J will not say what I will do for thee But come to the Court I ow the two hundred pounds I 'll not deny 't if thou ask seven years hence for 't farewell I say no more but come to the Court and see if I will know thee Cra. O Sir now you are in favour you will know no body Tic. True t is just Why should we when we are in favour know any body when if we be in disgrace no body will know us Farewell honest Tradesman Exit Sar. That is Synonima for a fool An ironicall Epithite upon my Facunditie Cra. O Master Sarpego I know you will satisfie your own driblet of ten pound I lent you out of my Purse Sar. Diogenes Laertius on a certaine time demanding of Cornelius Tacitus an Areopagit of Syracusa what was the most Commodious and expeditest method to kill the Itch answered Cra. Answer me my monyes I beseech you Sar. Peremptorily Careo Supinis I want money I confesse some driblets are in the Debet But me thinks that you being a Man of Wit Braine Forecast and Forehead should not be so easie I will not say foolish for that were a figure as to lend a Philosopher money that cryes when he is naked Omnîa mea mecum porto Well Sir J shall ever live to wish that your owne Lanthorne may be your direction and that where ever you travell the Cornu copia of Abundance may accompany you Yes sure shall I Vive valeque Exit Tob. Why look you Brother It was thought that I had a tender Pericranion or in direct Phrase that I was an unthrifty fool Signior no you shall now find that I cannot only keep mine own but other mens It is rightly said He that is poor in Appetite may quickly be rich in Purse Desire little covet little no not your own And you shall have enough Cra. Enough Tob. Yes Brother litle enough I confesse I am your Debtor for the loane of some hundred Marks Now you have need who has not you have need to have it I have need to pay it Here 's need of all hands But Brother you shall be no looser by me Purchase Wit Get wit look you wit And Brother if you come to the Court now my Mother and my Father have bought me an Office there so you will bring my Sister with you I will make the best shew of you that I can It may chance to set you up againe Brother t is many an honest mans fortune to rise by a good Wife Farewell sweet Brother Prithee grow rich againe and weare good Cloaths that we may keep our Acquaintance still Farewell deare Brother Exit Cra. Mr. Rufflit Ruff. VVhat does thy fist gape for mony from me Cra. I hope it is not the fashion for a Gallant of fashion to break for so small a Portion as the summe of an hundred Angells Ruff. For a Gallant of fashion to break for a Gallant of fashion Dost thou know what a Gallant of fashion is I 'll tell thee It is a thing that but once in three Moneths has money in his Purse A creature made up of Promise and Protestation A thing that foules other mens Napkins towseth other Mens Sheets flatters all he feares contemns all he needs not sterves all that serve him and undoes all that trust him Dost ask me mony as I am a Gallant of fashion I do thee Curtesie I beat thee not Cra. I lent it you on your single word Ruff. T is pittie but thou shouldest loose thy Freedom for it you Tradesmen have a good Order in your Citty Not to lend a Gentleman money without a Cittizen bound with him But you forsooth scorne Orders By this light t is pitty thou loosest not thy Freedome for it VVell when I am flush thou shalt feel from mee Farewell Prithee learne to have some witt A handsome streight young fellow grown into a pretty Bear with a proper bodyed VVoman to his VVife and cannot beare a Braine Farewell Dost heare Be rul'd by me Get money do Get money and keep it wouldst thrive Be rather a knave then a Fool How much dost say I ow thee Cra. Fifty pound Ruff. Thou art in my Debt I have given the Counsell worth threeskore Dog-cheap well I 'll rent the odde mony Exit Lin. Strange mad fellows these same Mr. Crasie me thinks to deale withall Cra. You are right Mr. Linsie wolsie I would my Genius had directed me to deale alwayes with such honest neighbourly men as your selfe I hope you will not deny me a Curtesie Lins. Not I I protest what is it Cra. You took once a Jewell of me which you sold for thirty pound for which I have your Bond for sixty at your day of mariage If you will now because I want present money give me but twenty pound I 'll acquit you Lin. My good friend Mr. Crasie I have no tricks and Jerks to come over you as the witty Gentleman had ere while But I know a plaine bargaine is a plaine bargaine and wit is never good till it be bought If twentie pound will pleasure you upon good security I will procure it you A hundred if you please do you mark Mr. Crasie On good security Otherwise you must
pretends this straine but onely to explore your strength of means and to try how far you dare engage them for her enjoying Ruff. I will send them win her use her suck her Purse recover my own gain hers and laugh at the poor Cuckhold her Husband Commend with these my lifes blood and Soules service to my Mistris Farewell Exit Enter Ticket Cra. Sir Andrew Ticket I take it Tic. The same Sir Is Mrs. Crasie within I cannot keep pace with her Mother O when jealousie is once set a going it runs on high speed But let her make hast to arrive at Court while I land on her Daughter in the City Is she privately idle Crasie spits at Ticket What dost thou mean by that Cra. My Vow 's discharg'd and her Revenge is done I am no Pandar Sir and yet I am of Counsell with Smock secrets Buttock businesse Sir Are you so stale a Courtier and know not the necessity of Gifts Tic. Is that the matter I am rejected by her Cra. Why would it not provoke any Woman to be called foole and foule-face Tic. I never call'd her so by the Soule of my Affection not I Cra. No Do you not intimate she is a foole when you hope to enjoy her without a Gift And foule when your neglect of cost saies she deserves none Tic. 'Fore Heaven I was a silly Asse now I think on 't to send a Sonnet without some rich present Cra. Why Sir A man must do as he would be done to Do you or any man use to be made Cuckhold for nothing Tic. I should have sent a Gift What if I enjoy her she may requite it Cra. May Nay can nay will Look you Sir here 's Gold Here are Jewels They are hers they may be yours I would not seem a Pandar to you though for you have a Wife Sir Tic. Pish who cares to drink out of a River What I can command out of duty hath but a dull relish Had not Danae been kept in her brass Tower she had never tempted a Gods piercing I must send though it be but to shew the ability of my Fortune and the desert of her Beauty Cra. And then to send but a trifle would disgrace both Tic. Hold convey this Carckanet unto her t is of value and let her read by this how much I seek her Cra. And how deare you hold her Sir I can speak but I use to take nothing for my paines Tic. Yes receive this little Nay I prethee Cra. Only not to appeare Uncourtly or uncivill I protest I abhor Pandarisme only as a second or so As you have beheld two Horses knubbing one another Ka me Ka thee an old kind of Courtship Tic. I prethee return instantly my success You shall find me at the Ordinary come and Dine with me Cra. I have procur'd a private Stable for my Horse And therefore I my selfe would be loth to stand at Livery Cra. Dost compare common Stables for Horses and publick Ordinaries for Gallants together Cra. Troth yes sir for as in Stables here a goodly Gelding of twenty Pounds price there a raw-backd Jade of foure Nobles by him So at Ordinaries here a worthy Fellow of means and virtue and there a Cheating Shifter of wants and cosenage Here a Knight there a Beggar Here a Gallant there a Gull Here a Courtier there a Coxcomb Here a Justice of Peace and there an Esquire of low Degree Or in direct Phrase a Pandar Tic. Such a one as thou art Cra. Umh Virtue goes often wetshod and is forc'd to be cobled up with base means to hold out water and cold necessity You command me no further sir Tic. No honest Knave farewell Exit Crasy Now Mr. Crasy will I button up your Cap with a Court-brooch You demand Debts do you I le pay you none Oh t was a notable dull Flat-Cap He would invite Courtiers stand bare say grace make legs kiss his hand serve us in perfum'd linnen and lend us money upon our words or bare words Were 't not a sin to let such a foole passe unsuckt No Fortune drest him only for us to feed on and I le fall to Exit ACT. IV. Scene 11. La. Ticket Sneakup Toby Page La. Tic. BEE comforted Mr. Sneakup Remember you are in my Chamber Beare the heart of a Husband who scorns to tremble at the face of his Wife Do not feare sir Tob. Stand firm Father do not sinck before the face of a Lady La. I have sent my own Husband to satisfie her and I hope he will do it throughly Be your selfe therefore all the Pleasures the Pallace can afford shall strive to mitigate your feares Sneak. Have you any Pleasures in the Court can make a man forget he has a Wife To. Sir we have pleasures will make a man forget any thing even himselfe therefore necessarily his wife who is but part of himselfe La. T. Boy sing your song of the Court delights They sit Sneakups head in the Ladies lap The Page sings Enter Pyannet with a Truncheon Sarpego Py. Are you lull'd in your delights No pillow for your Goatish head but her Ladyships lap Sneak. O dear O wife I did not know you were so nigh truly Py. You are ignorant still I know But I will make thy bones suffer as well as my browes Thou Cullion could not thine own Cellar serve thee but thou must be sneaking into Court Butteries Sneak. Oh oh oh Sar. Vae misero To. Hold deare mother La. T. Sweet Mrs. Pyannet hold Py. Art thou there daughter of an Intelligencer and strumpet to a Bearward La. T. Now Beauty blesse me was not thy mother a notorious Tripe-wife and thy father a profest Hare-finder Gip you Flirt Py. How now Madam Tiffany Will none but my Cock serve to tread you Give me my Jewells thou Harlot To. Mother Pray Mother Py. Bestow steeping thy skin in perfumes to kill the stink of thy paintings and rotten inwards to catch Cockscombs To. Dear mother Py. But thou shalt not cozen and Cucquean me To. Sweet mother Sar. Lupus in fabula The Devill 's in the womans tongue Py. A whip on her rotten eggs and kennell dirt on her silken Whoreship Sar. Nil tam difficile Nothing can lay her La. T. Nay let the Countrey Gentlewoman bee mad and rave on she knowes I know my Countrey Gentlewoman had a Bastard before shee was married Py. Did um so The Countrey Gentlewoman was more chaste in a Bastard then the Court Madam in her barrennesse You understand me you have no Green-sicknesse there yet I hope you have few Christ'nings you have trickes for that have you To. Nay mother Py. You have your Kickshaws your Players March-paines all shew and no meat Sar. Nulli penetrabilis Astro Shee 'l heare no reason La. T. Go to you know how in private you commended your Horse-keeper to me Py. Well And didst not thou in as much privacy counsell me to contemn my husband and use an Italian trick that thou