other_o bless_a be_v my_o gracious_a god_n for_o his_o great_a kindness_n to_o i_o in_o they_o both_o after_o three_o year_n continuance_n in_o that_o family_n upon_o the_o death_n of_o dr._n read_v my_o lord_n present_v my_o dear_a to_o fyfield_n in_o essex_n a_o competent_a good_a live_n and_o subsistence_n bless_a be_v god_n for_o it_o good_a lord_n crown_v his_o ministry_n there_o with_o the_o success_n of_o the_o conversion_n and_o bring_v in_o their_o soul_n to_o the_o obedience_n and_o knowledge_n of_o jesus_n christ_n give_v he_o abundance_n of_o the_o grace_n of_o thy_o holy_a spirit_n and_o store_v his_o heart_n with_o the_o treasury_n of_o thy_o heavenly_a truth_n and_o continue_v my_o dear_a husband_n a_o faithful_a painful_a able_a labourer_n in_o thy_o vineyard_n if_o what_o i_o have_v thus_o far_o touch_v may_v savour_v of_o any_o vanity_n the_o modesty_n of_o what_o i_o have_v pass_v over_o may_v excuse_v the_o error_n at_o least_o to_o they_o who_o may_v see_v the_o 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a_o most_o tender_a father_n to_o i_o and_o a_o kind_a father-in-law_n to_o my_o husband_n he_o be_v bear_v at_o stratford_n upon_o avon_n in_o warwickshire_n where_o his_o ancestor_n live_v my_o grandfather_n have_v a_o good_a estate_n in_o and_o about_o the_o town_n he_o be_v of_o a_o free_a and_o noble_a spirit_n which_o somewhat_o outreach_v his_o estate_n but_o not_o give_v to_o any_o debauchery_n i_o ever_o hear_v of_o my_o father_n mother_n be_v a_o very_a wise_a pious_a and_o a_o good_a woman_n and_o live_v and_o die_v a_o good_a christian_n my_o father_n have_v no_o brother_n but_o three_o sister_n who_o be_v all_o eminent_o wise_a and_o good_a woman_n especial_o his_o young_a sister_n who_o marry_v my_o father_n partner_n in_o trade_n a_o religious_a good_a man._n in_o process_n of_o time_n my_o father_n be_v desire_v to_o change_v his_o single_a estate_n according_o a_o match_n be_v provide_v for_o he_o but_o he_o by_o god_n providence_n approve_v not_o of_o it_o his_o 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bank_n a_o grocer_n in_o bucklersbury_n who_o though_o he_o long_o deny_v he_o for_o want_v of_o surety_n for_o his_o fidelity_n and_o because_o the_o money_n he_o have_v but_o ten_o pound_n be_v so_o disproportionable_a to_o what_o he_o use_v to_o receive_v with_o apprentice_n yet_o upon_o his_o discreet_a account_n he_o give_v of_o himself_o and_o the_o motive_n which_o put_v he_o upon_o that_o course_n and_o promise_v to_o compensate_a with_o diligent_a and_o faithful_a service_n what_o ever_o else_o be_v short_a of_o his_o expectation_n he_o venture_v to_o receive_v he_o upon_o trial_n in_o which_o he_o so_o well_o approve_v himself_o that_o he_o accept_v he_o into_o his_o service_n to_o which_o he_o bind_v he_o for_o eight_o year_n to_o which_o he_o willing_o submit_v though_o he_o be_v then_o full_a twentyone_a year_n old_a and_o there_o he_o serve_v a_o faithful_a and_o laborious_a apprenticeship_n but_o much_o like_v of_o his_o master_n and_o mistress_n and_o after_o serve_v he_o five_o year_n journeyman_n they_o not_o be_v willing_a to_o part_v with_o he_o in_o which_o time_n he_o have_v his_o master_n leave_n to_o trade_n for_o himself_o in_o drug_n and_o tobacco_n by_o which_o he_o leave_v grocery_n and_o be_v by_o trade_n a_o druggist_n in_o london_n and_o by_o that_o profession_n god_n bless_v my_o dear_a father_n with_o a_o very_a plentiful_a and_o good_a estate_n with_o which_o god_n give_v he_o a_o bountiful_a mind_n and_o liberal_a heart_n to_o do_v much_o good_a to_o his_o relation_n and_o other_o my_o dear_a mother_n mrs._n elizabeth_n sadler_n be_v the_o daughter_n of_o mr._n dackum_n sometime_o minister_n of_o portsmouth_n also_o my_o grandmother_n dackum_n be_v a_o very_a wise_a and_o prudent_a woman_n in_o my_o infancy_n i_o be_v very_o sickly_a and_o of_o a_o weak_o constitution_n bless_a be_v god_n for_o the_o love_n and_o care_n of_o parent_n and_o friend_n in_o my_o childhood_n estate_n she_o be_v her_o parent_n first_o bear_v after_o five_o year_n marriage_n and_o despair_v of_o have_v child_n which_o render_v they_o exceed_v tender_a of_o she_o and_o yet_o be_v she_o well_o nigh_o starve_v at_o nurse_n at_o lusam_n in_o kent_n for_o though_o her_o parent_n send_v so_o bountiful_o beside_o the_o nurse_n wage_n as_o may_v near_o maintain_v the_o family_n yet_o have_v they_o find_v the_o meat_n they_o send_v ready_a to_o stink_v for_o want_v of_o dress_v in_o my_o full_a age_n i_o be_v of_o a_o pensive_a nature_n god_n see_v it_o good_a that_o i_o shall_v bear_v the_o yoke_n in_o my_o youth_n but_o i_o do_v not_o consider_v the_o hand_n that_o put_v it_o on_o when_o i_o be_v young_a the_o lord_n be_v please_v to_o deliver_v i_o from_o many_o casualty_n after_o name_v they_o she_o always_o conclude_v with_o praise_n bless_v be_v his_o prevent_a mercy_n blessed_n be_v god_n that_o preserve_v i_o in_o that_o danger_n and_o such_o like_a if_o st._n augustin_n confess_v of_o his_o rob_v a_o orchard_n be_v so_o much_o approve_v why_o may_v not_o i_o touch_v so_o small_a a_o thing_n as_o i_o meet_v with_o here_o which_o show_v the_o tenderness_n of_o her_o spirit_n when_o i_o be_v a_o child_n my_o mother_n will_v send_v i_o where_o she_o less_o trust_v my_o sister_n in_o what_o i_o may_v fail_v i_o can_v call_v to_o mind_n but_o i_o remember_v she_o send_v i_o where_o she_o keep_v her_o apple_n they_o suit_v my_o childish_a appetite_n i_o take_v one_o i_o can_v not_o keep_v it_o but_o think_v i_o have_v steal_v it_o i_o go_v back_o unlock_v the_o door_n but_o with_o some_o regret_n lay_v down_o the_o apple_n bless_a be_v restrain_v grace_n but_o i_o must_v pass_v over_o a_o great_a many_o thing_n for_o brevity_n which_o may_v be_v useful_a unto_o other_o and_o be_v very_o pleasant_a to_o myself_o in_o read_v for_o the_o savoury_a sense_n of_o pious_a gratitude_n which_o all_o along_o breath_n in_o they_o yet_o i_o will_v not_o hide_v the_o great_a fault_n i_o ever_o know_v her_o guilty_a of_o in_o my_o own_o observation_n or_o find_v she_o charge_v herself_o with_o either_o in_o her_o book_n or_o diary_n have_v write_v many_o thing_n which_o i_o pass_v by_o and_o last_o concern_v the_o burn_a of_o her_o father_n house_n she_o thus_o proceed_v about_o half_a a_o year_n after_o the_o fire_n which_o be_v when_o she_o be_v about_o thirteen_o or_o fourteen_o year_n old_a my_o father_n have_v a_o great_a fit_a of_o sickness_n which_o hold_v he_o a_o quarter_n of_o a_o year_n and_o in_o great_a danger_n of_o death_n in_o which_o time_n of_o his_o sickness_n i_o poor_a wretched_a creature_n through_o a_o sudden_a surprise_n and_o provocation_n speak_v a_o wicked_a word_n to_o a_o superior_a of_o which_o my_o father_n be_v inform_v and_o most_o
just_o very_o angry_a with_o i_o i_o be_v exceed_o afraid_a and_o ashamed_a to_o confess_v what_o or_o to_o who_o i_o have_v speak_v dread_v my_o father_n displeasure_n deny_v it_o good_a lord_n pardon_v this_o transgression_n with_o the_o aggravation_n of_o it_o o_o lord_n i_o thank_v thou_o for_o thy_o patience_n forbearance_n and_o longsufferance_n extend_v to_o i_o thou_o may_v most_v just_o have_v stop_v my_o corrupt_a breath_n and_o allow_v i_o neither_o space_n nor_o time_n of_o repentance_n i_o beseech_v thou_o with_o this_o abhor_a provocation_n forgive_v all_o my_o relative_a sin_n good_a lord_n pardon_v my_o sin_n of_o childhood_n youth_n ripe_a age_n single_a estate_n marry_a condition_n wheresoever_o whensoever_o against_o whosoever_o commit_v that_o they_o may_v not_o shame_v i_o in_o this_o world_n nor_o confound_v i_o before_o thou_o when_o i_o shall_v appear_v at_o thy_o tribunal_n the_o abhorrency_n she_o have_v of_o this_o fault_n be_v so_o great_a that_o i_o firm_o believe_v she_o never_o know_o speak_v a_o untruth_n after_o to_o her_o die_a day_n so_o gracious_a faithful_a and_o able_a be_v our_o good_a god_n to_o bring_v good_a out_o of_o evil_a and_o by_o set_v home_o the_o smart_n of_o one_o sin_n to_o prevent_v the_o commit_n of_o the_o like_a for_o ever_o after_o after_o many_o passage_n of_o god_n goodness_n and_o her_o father_n be_v indulgent_a kindness_n to_o she_o which_o i_o omit_v i_o meet_v with_o this_o evidence_n of_o her_o father_n confidence_n in_o her_o prudence_n and_o integrity_n that_o keep_v a_o petty_a cash_n for_o he_o of_o a_o hundred_o pound_n or_o more_o he_o will_v not_o so_o much_o as_o read_v over_o the_o particular_n charge_v as_o disburse_v for_o herself_o but_o will_v say_v pray_o thou_o take_v at_o any_o time_n what_o thou_o need_v by_o which_o freedom_n i_o bless_v god_n i_o be_v not_o make_v lavish_a but_o more_o spare_v lord_n i_o bless_v thou_o for_o the_o indulgent_a care_n and_o love_n of_o a_o parent_n how_o much_o more_o will_v thou_o give_v good_a thing_n to_o they_o that_o ask_v thou_o and_o no_o good_a thing_n will_v thou_o withhold_v from_o they_o that_o walk_v upright_o my_o dear_a father_n be_v very_o tender_a of_o i_o and_o in_o time_n of_o the_o civil_a war_n send_v i_o to_o ipswich_n for_o my_o safety_n where_o i_o stay_v a_o year_n and_o a_o quarter_n in_o which_o time_n a_o gentleman_n of_o a_o good_a estate_n in_o land_n and_o a_o merchant_n by_o profession_n have_v a_o great_a kindness_n for_o i_o one_o who_o in_o the_o best_a of_o my_o thought_n i_o do_v then_o approve_v but_o in_o the_o extension_n of_o god_n goodness_n to_o i_o in_o prevent_v my_o future_a disappointment_n as_o to_o thing_n of_o this_o life_n by_o a_o strange_a overrule_a providence_n my_o father_n slight_v that_o offer_n two_o or_o three_o year_n after_o the_o gentleman_n decay_v in_o his_o estate_n by_o great_a loss_n at_o sea_n about_o a_o year_n after_o my_o return_n from_o ipswich_n i_o go_v into_o warwickshire_n to_o stratford_n in_o both_o which_o place_n i_o acknowledge_v i_o do_v not_o improve_v that_o vacancy_n as_o i_o may_v to_o better_a advantage_n but_o squander_v it_o away_o vain_o and_o in_o idle_a visit_n not_o provide_v for_o eternity_n with_o my_o time_n lord_n pardon_v my_o neglect_n whilst_o here_o a_o gentleman_n of_o a_o very_a considerable_a estate_n be_v very_o importunate_a with_o i_o for_o my_o like_n but_o though_o his_o estate_n be_v a_o great_a temptation_n to_o i_o i_o can_v not_o fancy_v his_o person_n god_n goodness_n reserve_v for_o i_o my_o best_a choice_n have_v thus_o run_v over_o with_o what_o brevity_n i_o can_v what_o be_v but_o prefatory_a to_o my_o main_a design_n and_o for_o that_o end_n be_v force_v to_o omit_v many_o thing_n well-worthy_a to_o have_v be_v take_v notice_n of_o i_o shall_v make_v near_a approach_n to_o what_o i_o chief_o propound_v to_o myself_o which_o be_v to_o represent_v though_o in_o too_o faint_a colour_n the_o amiable_a beauty_n of_o that_o resplendent_a holiness_n and_o signal_n chatity_n with_o which_o the_o god_n of_o all_o grace_n to_o who_o be_v all_o the_o glory_n vouchsafe_v to_o adorn_v this_o bless_a soul_n sect_n ii_o how_o she_o be_v first_o awaken_v to_o a_o deep_a sense_n of_o religion_n by_o temptation_n and_o because_o great_a and_o weighty_a fabric_n require_v deep_a and_o strong_a foundation_n that_o they_o may_v stand_v firm_a and_o last_o that_o god_n who_o work_n be_v perfect_a think_v good_a to_o use_v that_o method_n towards_o she_o he_o suffer_v her_o weary_a soul_n to_o be_v dug_n deep_a and_o long_o with_o sore_a and_o great_a temptation_n and_o as_o it_o be_v usual_o say_v a_o storm_n make_v a_o mariner_n a_o battle_n a_o soldier_n and_o temptation_n make_v a_o christian_n she_o be_v certain_o a_o excellent_a christian_a and_o to_o render_v she_o such_o she_o be_v long_o buffet_v with_o horrid_a satanical_a suggestion_n and_o blasphemous_a temptation_n which_o not_o only_o make_v she_o go_v mourn_v all_o the_o day_n long_o but_o many_o month_n and_o year_n and_o not_o only_o those_o fiery_a and_o envenom_a dart_n drink_v up_o her_o spirit_n but_o bring_v her_o life_n to_o the_o gate_n of_o the_o grave_a and_o her_o distress_a soul_n to_o the_o gate_n of_o hell_n i_o shall_v for_o the_o comfort_n and_o support_v of_o other_o who_o may_v fall_v into_o the_o like_a distress_n give_v the_o account_n of_o it_o as_o set_v down_o by_o she_o own_o pen_n which_o may_v at_o least_o relieve_v they_o against_o one_o difficulty_n which_o oppress_v she_o very_o heavy_o that_o be_v she_o think_v her_o case_n to_o be_v singular_a and_o that_o never_o any_o have_v be_v in_o the_o like_a condition_n and_o one_o of_o the_o first_o glimpse_n of_o comfort_n which_o shine_v into_o her_o dark_a soul_n be_v from_o her_o good_a aunt_n be_v acquaint_v her_o that_o she_o have_v have_v experience_n of_o the_o like_a trial_n when_o i_o have_v be_v at_o home_n about_o half_a a_o year_n i_o grow_v melancholy_a occasion_v by_o some_o discontent_n which_o god_n be_v please_v to_o cure_v with_o a_o smart_n corrosive_n through_o suffer_v satan_n to_o take_v advantage_n of_o that_o humour_n which_o affliction_n swallow_v up_o all_o my_o other_o trouble_n i_o go_v to_o prayer_n according_a to_o my_o usual_a custom_n before_o i_o kneel_v down_o by_o a_o outward_a action_n of_o my_o hand_n which_o be_v in_o itself_o very_o innocent_a and_o at_o that_o time_n not_o irreverent_a far_o than_o the_o devil_n make_v it_o so_o by_o cast_v a_o blasphemous_a suggestion_n into_o my_o mind_n which_o look_v very_o hideous_o upon_o i_o but_o notwithstanding_o i_o pray_v without_o far_a molestation_n at_o that_o time_n i_o can_v remember_v what_o notice_n i_o take_v of_o the_o temptation_n in_o my_o prayer_n but_o when_o i_o have_v end_v my_o prayer_n my_o enemy_n fierce_o assault_v i_o i_o can_v neither_o see_v any_o thing_n nor_o hear_v or_o do_v any_o thing_n but_o evil_a motion_n be_v force_v into_o my_o mind_n and_o though_o i_o beseech_v the_o lord_n more_o than_o thrice_o i_o can_v not_o be_v free_a from_o that_o affliction_n sometime_o through_o my_o dark_a and_o cloudy_a fancy_n i_o have_v temptation_n that_o there_o be_v no_o god_n which_o be_v very_o vexatious_a to_o i_o and_o i_o impatient_a of_o it_o desire_v to_o apprehend_v a_o god_n all_o vengeance_n and_o terror_n rather_o than_o no_o god_n at_o all_o but_o the_o lord_n be_v please_v to_o obviate_v that_o temptation_n by_o my_o meditate_v on_o the_o creation_n my_o father_n much_o love_a flower_n and_o as_o the_o season_n of_o the_o year_n will_v afford_v always_o have_v his_o flower-pot_n stand_v by_o he_o where_o he_o sit_v write_v in_o his_o shop_n but_o then_o be_v above_o in_o the_o parlour_n window_n to_o which_o i_o often_o go_v to_o countermine_v my_o temptation_n in_o admire_v the_o curious_a work_n of_o the_o god_n of_o nature_n with_o other_o there_o be_v then_o in_o flower_n a_o chalcedon_n iris_n full_a of_o the_o impress_n of_o god_n curious_a workmanship_n which_o the_o lord_n be_v please_v to_o make_v use_n of_o to_o raise_v my_o poor_a heart_n and_o thought_n to_o the_o admire_a and_o adore_v of_o he_o bless_a be_v god_n that_o that_o temptation_n be_v not_o above_o my_o strength_n in_o the_o time_n of_o my_o extremity_n i_o go_v to_o mr._n watson_n a_o good_a man_n minister_n of_o stephen_n walbrook_n the_o parish_n wherein_o we_o live_v to_o he_o i_o impart_v somewhat_o of_o my_o trouble_n he_o strive_v to_o comfort_v i_o i_o find_v little_a ease_n with_o my_o burden_n it_o grow_v more_o heavy_a i_o repent_v i_o have_v make_v my_o condition_n know_v i_o think_v my_o estate_n to_o be_v singular_a and_o that_o i_o shall_v
hear_v book_n and_o ballad_n cry_v of_o i_o about_o the_o street_n though_o i_o have_v not_o acquaint_v any_o with_o my_o trouble_n but_o only_a mr._n watson_n my_o father_n sister_n my_o dear_a aunt_n quiney_n a_o gracious_a good_a woman_n take_v notice_n of_o my_o deject_a spirit_n she_o waylay_v i_o in_o my_o come_n home_o from_o the_o morning_n exercise_n then_o in_o our_o parish_n she_o surprise_v i_o with_o a_o inquisitive_a desire_n to_o know_v what_o i_o ail_v but_o i_o not_o ready_o inform_v she_o she_o ask_v i_o if_o i_o be_v not_o trouble_v with_o temptation_n i_o marvel_v at_o the_o question_n and_o then_o acquaint_v she_o with_o my_o affliction_n she_z from_o her_o own_o experience_n in_o the_o like_a case_n advise_v i_o which_o for_o the_o present_a be_v a_o refreshment_n to_o i_o for_o before_o i_o be_v not_o acquaint_v with_o any_o in_o the_o like_a condition_n with_o myself_o some_o little_a time_n after_o my_o dear_a father_n take_v notice_n of_o i_o that_o i_o be_v 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good_a man_n he_o be_v minister_n of_o banston_n in_o essex_n my_o dear_a father_n hire_v a_o coaeh_n and_o go_v with_o i_o to_o mr._n beadle_n and_o with_o the_o expression_n of_o his_o tender_a love_n say_v to_o i_o that_o i_o shall_v not_o want_v any_o thing_n to_o do_v i_o good_a to_o the_o one_o half_a of_o his_o estate_n and_o he_o be_v very_o bountiful_a in_o the_o requital_n of_o my_o receipt_n in_o that_o family_n god_n goodness_n to_o be_v acknowledge_v my_o dear_a mother_n then_o be_v very_o kind_a to_o i_o i_o live_v at_o mr._n beadle_n half_a a_o year_n where_o i_o have_v the_o fatherly_a care_n and_o counsel_n and_o prayer_n of_o that_o good_a man_n with_o the_o great_a love_n of_o his_o wife_n a_o very_a good_a woman_n and_o very_o kind_a to_o i_o and_o the_o manifestation_n of_o the_o respect_n and_o care_n of_o their_o child_n and_o servant_n in_o any_o thing_n that_o may_v tend_v to_o my_o satisfaction_n and_o comfort_n the_o lord_n requite_v it_o to_o they_o in_o 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the_o lord_n do_v not_o at_o once_o restore_v his_o servant_n from_o their_o frailty_n that_o they_o by_o gradual_a comfort_n may_v prize_v every_o drop_n of_o mercy_n being_n not_o quicken_v all_o at_o once_o when_o they_o be_v mortify_v but_o may_v be_v admonish_v by_o the_o remainder_n of_o fear_n and_o frailty_n to_o keep_v their_o heart_n humble_a and_o in_o continual_a dependence_n upon_o god_n i_o shall_v have_v occasion_n more_o than_o once_o to_o touch_v this_o doleful_a string_n again_o it_o be_v record_v of_o our_o lord_n that_o when_o he_o be_v baptise_a he_o be_v drive_v of_o the_o spirit_n into_o the_o
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hope_v she_o see_v the_o face_n of_o her_o father_n in_o heaven_n dear_a child_n she_o desire_v her_o father_n and_o myself_o to_o forgive_v she_o in_o what_o she_o have_v at_o any_o time_n offend_v we_o say_v if_o the_o lord_n see_v it_o good_a to_o spare_v she_o she_o hope_v she_o shall_v double_v her_o diligence_n in_o her_o care_n that_o she_o shall_v never_o grieve_v we_o in_o any_o thing_n but_o this_o testimony_n i_o bless_v god_n i_o can_v give_v of_o she_o few_o child_n exceed_v she_o in_o dutiful_a love_a obedience_n to_o her_o parent_n she_o express_v herself_o very_o affectionate_o and_o honourable_o of_o her_o sister_n and_o that_o she_o be_v sorry_a she_o have_v sometime_o divert_v she_o by_o stay_v in_o her_o closet_n when_o she_o will_v have_v be_v better_o employ_v sweet_a child_n she_o be_v very_o tender_a spirit_v and_o be_v trouble_v for_o several_a little_a thing_n which_o be_v very_o small_a or_o no_o offence_n and_o if_o she_o have_v do_v any_o thing_n amiss_o 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this_o life_n neither_o be_v i_o from_o she_o at_o any_o time_n but_o when_o the_o press_a necessity_n of_o my_o frail_a nature_n urge_v it_o for_o a_o little_a rest_n and_o she_o be_v very_o glad_a when_o she_o see_v i_o again_o and_o will_v express_v her_o love_a affection_n and_o thankfulness_n to_o i_o for_o my_o care_n of_o she_o i_o have_v many_o sweet_a endear_n expression_n from_o she_o of_o her_o love_n and_o duty_n she_o say_v if_o the_o lord_n spare_v i_o i_o hope_v i_o shall_v do_v thus_o as_o i_o have_v promise_v but_o if_o i_o die_v my_o dear_a mother_n you_o will_v remember_v what_o i_o now_o say_v to_o you_o and_o i_o can_v be_v content_a to_o be_v a_o little_a child_n again_o that_o i_o may_v lie_v at_o your_o breast_n and_o bosom_n i_o have_v transcribe_v this_o long_a account_n hope_v it_o may_v be_v useful_a to_o some_o young_a gentlewoman_n daughter_n of_o my_o dear_a wife_n christian_a friend_n or_o other_o into_o who_o hand_n their_o kindness_n or_o god_n 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world_n yet_o bless_a be_v god_n we_o have_v great_a cause_n to_o hope_v in_o his_o mercy_n that_o those_o prayer_n be_v not_o lose_v but_o for_o the_o sake_n merit_n and_o mediation_n of_o her_o redeemer_n and_o saviour_n jesus_n christ_n be_v grant_v to_o a_o high_a end_n in_o eternal_a bliss_n good_a lord_n sanctify_v all_o our_o affliction_n to_o we_o that_o we_o may_v bear_v they_o with_o meekness_n and_o submission_n that_o they_o may_v not_o only_o be_v the_o effect_n of_o thy_o displeasure_n but_o of_o thy_o adopt_v love_n good_a lord_n sanctify_v this_o heavy_a affliction_n to_o we_o and_o show_v i_o in_o particular_a why_o thou_o contend_v with_o i_o therefore_o beside_o thy_o holy_a righteous_a and_o wise_a providence_n and_o immutable_a decree_n which_o have_v determine_v her_o time_n and_o the_o measure_n of_o her_o day_n which_o i_o desire_v humble_o and_o with_o all_o submission_n to_o adore_v and_o acquisce_n in_o good_a lord_n give_v i_o to_o know_v and_o lay_v to_o heart_n the_o forfeit_v cause_n on_o my_o part_n which_o move_v thou_o to_o smite_v with_o so_o severe_a a_o stroke_n in_o bereave_v we_o of_o so_o desirable_a a_o child_n and_o so_o great_a a_o peace_n of_o the_o comfort_n of_o my_o life_n in_o this_o world_n lord_n pardon_v my_o ingratitude_n for_o mercy_n enjoy_v that_o i_o have_v not_o so_o improve_v they_o to_o thy_o glory_n by_o a_o more_o careful_a circumspect_a exemplary_a holy_a life_n i_o beseech_v thou_o forgive_v my_o slackness_n in_o seasonable_a reproof_n admonition_n advice_n and_o counsel_n to_o my_o child_n or_o other_o although_o thou_o see_v good_a to_o cut_v short_a my_o opportunity_n yet_o help_v i_o better_a to_o improve_v what_o thou_o will_v still_o intrust_v i_o with_o and_o forgive_v i_o
but_o my_o dear_a wife_n pain_n and_o trouble_v i_o tell_v she_o we_o have_v now_o continue_v this_o custom_n a_o great_a while_n and_o that_o i_o think_v it_o too_o burdensome_a to_o she_o a_o dinner_n signify_v not_o much_o to_o the_o rich_a and_o for_o the_o poor_a i_o will_v take_v care_n they_o shall_v be_v no_o loser_n she_z at_o present_a seem_v well_o please_v with_o what_o i_o say_v and_o acquiesce_v in_o it_o but_o upon_o second_o thought_n she_o say_v my_o dear_a i_o thank_v thou_o for_o thy_o tenderness_n to_o i_o to_o prevent_v my_o trouble_n but_o i_o be_o rather_o willing_a to_o undergo_v it_o be_v it_o great_a than_o to_o discontinue_v a_o practice_n so_o long_o use_v constant_o and_o thereby_o occasion_v any_o misinterpretation_n as_o if_o it_o proceed_v from_o parsimony_n or_o abatement_n of_o kindness_n therefore_o i_o entreat_v thou_o let_v we_o continue_v to_o do_v as_o we_o have_v hitherto_o do_v yearly_o only_o let_v we_o try_v to_o have_v all_o in_o two_o day_n we_o use_v to_o have_v in_o three_o and_o if_o our_o house_n will_v not_o contain_v they_o all_o at_o twice_o to_o some_o of_o the_o poor_a i_o will_v send_v double_a as_o much_o as_o they_o can_v have_v eat_v here_o and_o so_o it_o be_v agree_v and_o perform_v and_o so_o her_o last_o christmas_n be_v as_o kind_n and_o charitable_a as_o those_o of_o former_a year_n sect_n xxii_o of_o the_o marriage_n of_o our_o only_a daughter_n and_o her_o death_n in_o childbirth_n the_o same_o year_n yet_o leave_v a_o son_n it_o be_v not_o to_o be_v wonder_v at_o that_o she_o shall_v write_v so_o many_o page_n of_o this_o come-tragedy_n as_o i_o call_v another_o providence_n mention_v before_o a_o tragicomedy_n who_o pious_a kindness_n be_v so_o mindful_a in_o holy_a prayer_n and_o praise_n not_o of_o herself_o alone_o but_o of_o her_o honour_a friend_n i_o shall_v touch_v but_o one_o or_o two_o for_o instance_n and_o i_o can_v single_v out_o any_o more_o suitable_a than_o of_o those_o right_n honourable_a lady_n who_o sweet_a condescension_n not_o only_o vouchsafe_v to_o give_v this_o our_o dear_a daughter_n frequent_o their_o kind_a and_o familiar_a conversation_n but_o borrow_v and_o desire_v she_o almost_o whole_a summer_n divers_a year_n concern_v these_o young_a lady_n thus_o her_o pen_n speak_v the_o lady_n ann_n the_o lady_n mary_n and_o the_o lady_n essex_n rich_a have_v a_o pious_a education_n under_o â—he_n tender_a care_n of_o the_o right_n honourable_a the_o countess_n of_o warwick_n their_o aunt_n who_o great_a care_n of_o they_o and_o kindness_n and_o love_n to_o they_o supply_v and_o over-shot_a the_o measure_n of_o what_o can_v be_v express_v to_o they_o by_o the_o tender_a mother_n of_o two_o of_o their_o marriage_n she_o write_v thus_o december_n the_o 11_o 1673._o the_o virtuous_a and_o right_o honourable_a the_o lady_n mary_n rich_a be_v marry_v to_o mr._n henry_n st._n john_n the_o elder_a son_n of_o sir_n walter_n st._n john_n a_o pious_a good_a family_n and_o a_o ancient_a baronet_n and_o great_a estate_n bless_a lord_n thou_o have_v abundant_o enrich_v they_o with_o the_o blessing_n of_o the_o nether_a spring_n full_a stream_n in_o the_o good_a thing_n of_o this_o life_n let_v it_o not_o be_v their_o all_o but_o turn_v these_o water_n into_o wine_n give_v they_o the_o blessing_n of_o the_o upper_a spring_n the_o plentiful_a effusion_n of_o thy_o spirit_n flow_v into_o their_o heart_n and_o soul_n that_o they_o may_v build_v up_o each_o other_o in_o their_o most_o holy_a faith_n as_o heir_n together_o of_o the_o grace_n of_o life_n june_n 16._o 1674._o the_o honourable_a lady_n essex_n rich_a be_v marry_v to_o mr._n daniel_n finch_n elder_a son_n to_o his_o father_n then_z lord_z keeper_z of_o the_o great_a seal_n of_o england_n good_a lord_n give_v they_o the_o blessing_n of_o thy_o right-hand_n and_o continue_v to_o they_o the_o blessing_n of_o thy_o lefthand_n also_o but_o let_v not_o their_o portion_n be_v only_o in_o this_o life_n let_v thy_o own_o prerogative_n have_v the_o supremacy_n in_o their_o heart_n and_o accelerate_v and_o quicken_v they_o to_o thy_o service_n that_o glorify_v thou_o on_o earth_n they_o may_v be_v in_o everlasting_a glory_n with_o thou_o in_o heaven_n amen_n amen_n i_o will_v mention_v no_o more_o like_a instance_n and_o humble_o beg_v pardon_n if_o i_o have_v be_v too_o bold_a in_o touch_v these_o i_o now_o come_v to_o the_o title_n of_o this_o section_n and_o shall_v add_v nothing_o of_o my_o own_o only_o transcribe_v and_o that_o with_o abbreviation_n what_o her_o pious_a pen_n have_v leave_v i_o not_o that_o one_o word_n need_v to_o be_v retrench_v upon_o other_o account_n but_o only_o to_o avoid_v prolixity_n january_n 17._o 1675._o my_o dear_a husband_n and_o my_o dear_a child_n margaret_n walker_n go_v to_o london_n in_o reference_n to_o our_o great_a concern_v her_o marriage_n our_o only_a one_o so_o dear_a to_o we_o she_o be_v marry_v february_n the_o one_a 1675._o to_o mr._n john_n cox_n barrister_n of_o grays-inn_n his_o father_n live_v at_o coggshall_n his_o relation_n very_o honest_a good_a people_n and_o very_o well_o to_o live_v in_o the_o world_n god_n have_v gracious_o provide_v for_o she_o a_o love_a husband_n a_o sober_a person_n and_o i_o hope_v a_o good_a man._n god_n consummate_v their_o choice_n by_o mr._n gifford_n a_o worthy_a good_a man_n minister_n of_o st._n dunstan_n in_o the_o east_n in_o london_n whither_o she_o be_v accompany_v by_o the_o right_n honourable_a the_o countess_n of_o warwick_n with_o the_o chief_a of_o the_o family_n from_o warwick-house_n and_o with_o many_o other_o manifestation_n of_o kindness_n god_n shine_v upon_o she_o and_o in_o all_o respect_n give_v she_o a_o comfortable_a day_n i_o draw_v the_o curtain_n of_o a_o modest_a etc._n etc._n over_o the_o rest_n lest_o the_o thankfulness_n of_o she_o who_o be_v so_o true_o humble_a shall_v incur_v the_o unkind_a censure_n or_o suspicion_n of_o vanity_n and_o conclude_v what_o i_o have_v omit_v with_o these_o word_n and_o with_o many_o other_o favour_n god_n have_v honour_v they_o she_o proceed_v lord_n i_o desire_v to_o own_o thy_o goodness_n as_o the_o fountain_n head_n from_o whence_o flow_v all_o good_a to_o be_v enjoy_v in_o the_o thing_n of_o this_o life_n and_o concern_v of_o a_o better_a and_o more_o endurable_a estate_n for_o their_o soul_n advantage_n for_o which_o i_o beseech_v thou_o give_v they_o a_o capacious_a heart_n to_o know_v love_n serve_v and_o enjoy_v thyself_o and_o vouchsafe_v they_o of_o the_o good_a thing_n of_o this_o world_n what_o thou_o see_v convenient_a for_o they_o and_o help_v they_o to_o be_v content_v to_o be_v without_o what_o in_o mercy_n thou_o deny_v they_o good_a lord_n keep_v both_o they_o and_o they_o inoffensive_a in_o this_o world_n and_o when_o they_o shall_v go_v hence_o and_o be_v no_o more_o in_o this_o life_n lord_n grant_v that_o where_o thou_o be_v they_o may_v be_v also_o in_o eternal_a glory_n amen_n amen_n thus_o far_o the_o pleasant_a and_o more_o lightsome_a part_n now_o follow_v what_o be_v more_o dark_a and_o doleful_a i_o have_v now_o a_o very_a smarty_n afflictive_a dispensation_n from_o god_n to_o record_v very_o press_v by_o his_o afflictive_a hand_n on_o we_o i_o acknowledge_v very_o deserve_o for_o my_o sin_n the_o lord_n have_v take_v from_o we_o out_o of_o this_o life_n our_o only_a one_o the_o most_o dear_o belove_a daughter_n and_o child_n of_o my_o choice_a affection_n mrs._n margaret_n cox_n she_o be_v marry_v february_n the_o first_o 1675._o the_o 19_o 〈◊〉_d november_n follow_v she_o be_v deliver_v of_o a_o son_n lord_n day_n seven_o a_o clock_n in_o the_o morning_n she_o continue_v pretty_a well_o two_o or_o three_o day_n tuesday_n follow_v sicken_v of_o a_o fever_n and_o die_v december_n the_o 5_o 1675._o but_o god_n in_o the_o midst_n of_o his_o just_a judgement_n remember_v his_o mercy_n to_o we_o have_v spare_v the_o little_a one_o to_o we_o bless_a be_v god_n for_o it_o and_o receive_v the_o motherless_a babe_n into_o covenant_n with_o himself_o by_o baptism_n i_o bless_v god_n he_o be_v the_o son_n of_o good_a parent_n his_o father_n a_o very_a sober_a and_o a_o good_a man_n his_o dear_a decease_a mother_n be_v a_o fine_a lovely_a handsome_a well_o accomplish_v woman_n both_o in_o nature_n and_o grace_n to_o god_n praise_n i_o do_v make_v my_o acknowledgement_n let_v it_o have_v no_o other_o censure_n she_o be_v of_o a_o quick_a apprehension_n modest_a humble_a discreet_a and_o of_o a_o good_a judgement_n and_o well_o fit_v for_o family-government_n and_o employment_n she_o have_v a_o sweet_a amicable_a deportment_n and_o graceful_a behaviour_n these_o endowment_n through_o god_n kindness_n to_o she_o render_v she_o very_o desirable_a to_o all_o that_o know_v
introduction_n pag._n 3_o sect_n i._o of_o her_o birth_n and_o parentage_n pag._n 5_o a_o account_n of_o her_o book_n out_o of_o which_o most_o be_v transcribe_v concern_v ourselves_o and_o child_n time_n and_o place_n of_o her_o birth_n pag._n 9_o her_o parent_n her_o father_n be_v early_a prudence_n and_o a_o strange_a overrule_a providence_n which_o bring_v he_o to_o be_v a_o citizen_n which_o be_v the_o spring_n and_o occasion_n of_o many_o consequent_a mercy_n to_o she_o and_o other_o pag._n 10_o the_o tenderness_n of_o her_o spirit_n when_o a_o child_n pag._n 13_o a_o great_a fault_n she_o be_v guilty_a of_o when_o young_a which_o be_v turn_v to_o her_o benefit_n in_o future_a caution_n pag._n 14_o her_o father_n be_v great_a care_n of_o she_o and_o confidence_n in_o she_o pag._n 15_o sect_n ii_o how_o she_o be_v first_o awaken_v to_o a_o deep_a sense_n of_o religion_n by_o temptation_n pag._n 17_o the_o first_o onset_n by_o a_o blasphemous_a suggestion_n pag._n 18_o how_o she_o overcome_v the_o temptation_n to_o atheism_n pag._n 19_o her_o long_o struggle_v with_o temptation_n and_o the_o first_o glimpse_n of_o comfort_n pag._n 20_o keep_v half_a a_o year_n by_o it_o without_o sleep_n or_o very_o little_a pag._n 22_o mean_n of_o her_o recovery_n and_o some_o gradual_a relief_n of_o which_o she_o have_v a_o excellent_a passage_n pag._n 24_o yet_o she_o suffer_v renew_v onset_n pag._n 25_o sect_n iii_o of_o our_o marriage_n remarkable_a passage_n concern_v it_o pag._n 27_o sect_n iv_o her_o life_n in_o concise_a epitome_n pag._n 30_o sect_n v._o how_o she_o spend_v a_o day_n pag._n 32_o rose_n constant_o at_o four_o of_o the_o clock_n spend_v two_o hour_n with_o god_n in_o secret_a a_o account_n of_o the_o rest_n till_o bedtime_n pag._n 41_o sect_n vii_o for_o the_o number_n six_o be_v omit_v by_o the_o printer_n how_o she_o spend_v a_o week_n ibid._n her_o exact_a circumspection_n in_o sanctify_v the_o lord_n day_n her_o whole_a method_n in_o it_o to_z page_z 44_o monday_n morning_n prayer_n for_o the_o church_n of_o god_n which_o she_o constant_o observe_v with_o great_a zeal_n and_o charity_n both_o for_o all_o the_o foreign_a church_n and_o our_o own_o for_o many_o year_n ever_o after_o she_o have_v be_v inform_v of_o that_o commendable_a custom_n set_v up_o in_o so_o many_o family_n quite_o through_o the_o nation_n ibid._n constant_o spend_v friday_n the_o passion-day_n in_o fast_v and_o prayer_n or_o if_o she_o foresee_v diversion_n unavoidable_a on_o that_o day_n choose_v one_o before_o it_o pag._n 48_o sect_n viii_o how_o she_o spend_v a_o year_n where_o be_v set_v down_o the_o head_n of_o the_o follow_a section_n pag._n 49_o sect_n ix_o her_o character_n as_o a_o wife_n pag._n 51_o in_o time_n of_o health_n to_o page_n 55_o in_o time_n of_o be_v sick_a to_o page_n 61_o sect_n x._o of_o her_o lyings-in_a in_o child-bearing_a ibid._n sect_n xi_o of_o the_o baptise_v our_o child_n her_o very_a commendable_a practice_n on_o that_o occasion_n pag._n 64_o sect_n xii_o her_o care_n of_o the_o education_n of_o her_o child_n pag._n 66_o to_o pag._n 82_o i_o give_v no_o touch_n at_o the_o particular_n of_o this_o long_a section_n because_o i_o arnest_o recommend_v the_o read_n of_o the_o whole_a often_o over_o as_o be_v very_o exemplary_a and_o useful_a sect_n xiii_o of_o monthly_a sacrament_n her_o constant_a communicate_v and_o serious_a preparation_n pag._n 82_o sect_n fourteen_o of_o her_o write_n pag._n 84_o sect_n xv._o discreet_a management_n of_o her_o family_n pag._n 86_o sect_n xvi_o visitation_n by_o sickness_n on_o ourselves_o or_o some_o of_o our_o child_n pag._n 92_o to_o pag._n 115_o this_o be_v so_o large_a and_o have_v so_o many_o exemplary_a passage_n of_o indefatigable_a watch_n fervent_a prayer_n gracious_a answer_n humble_a submission_n to_o god_n that_o i_o leave_v they_o to_o the_o reader_n be_v own_o observation_n sect_n xvii_o renew_a assault_n of_o her_o enemy_n by_o temptation_n pag._n 115_o the_o usual_a season_n of_o which_o be_v indisposition_n of_o mind_n by_o sorrow_n or_o of_o body_n by_o sickness_n pag._n 116_o her_o method_n of_o resist_a 1._o conference_n with_o experience_a christian_n 2._o read_v suitable_a book_n 3._o enter_v her_o solemn_a protest_n against_o they_o under_o her_o hand_n in_o appeal_n to_o god_n which_o you_o find_v page_n 119._o with_o this_o title_n in_o time_n of_o temptation_n write_v by_o i_o elizabeth_n walker_n follow_v with_o a_o most_o devout_a pathetic_a prayer_n sect_n xviii_o friend_n she_o use_v to_o pray_v for_o by_o name_n and_o the_o form_n of_o prayer_n in_o which_o pag._n 123_o i_o name_v those_o in_o the_o body_n of_o the_o prayer_n but_o omit_v to_o name_v they_o in_o the_o margin_n above_o thirty_o head_n of_o family_n not_o be_v set_v down_o in_o order_n according_a to_o their_o quality_n sect_n xix_o some_o try_v calamity_n on_o the_o nation_n on_o friend_n or_o family_n and_o signal_n deliverance_n from_o danger_n pag._n 126_o the_o great_a plague_n and_o the_o number_n that_o die_v ibid._n the_o fire_n the_o number_n of_o church_n and_o house_n burn_v pag._n 127_o other_o affliction_n on_o particular_a friend_n pag._n 12â—_n on_o ourselves_o pag._n 129_o to_o pag._n 13â—_n sect_n xx._n of_o our_o go_v to_o tunbridge-well_n ibid._n my_o reason_n of_o write_v on_o it_o how_o she_o make_v that_o placâ—_n of_o divertisement_n and_o hurry_n a_o place_n of_o retirement_n anâ—_n vacancy_n to_o devotion_n to_o pag._n 14â—_n sect_n xxi_o of_o keep_v our_o wedding-day_n and_o entertainment_n of_o our_o friend_n ibid._n sect_n xxii_o of_o the_o marriage_n of_o our_o only_a daughter_n and_o her_o death_n in_o childbirth_n the_o same_o year_n yet_o leave_v a_o son_n pag._n 148._o it_o be_v no_o wonder_n she_o write_v so_o much_o of_o heâ—_n own_o who_o use_v not_o to_o pass_v by_o what_o concern_v other_o 〈◊〉_d the_o lady_n mary_n rich_a and_o the_o lady_n essex_n rich_a theâ—â—_n marriage_n with_o a_o devout_a prayer_n for_o each_o pag._n 149._o thâ—â—_n be_v a_o large_a section_n most_o transcribe_v from_o her_o own_o paper_n full_a of_o most_o excellent_a devotion_n and_o humble_a submission_n to_o god_n smarty_a blow_n to_o pag._n 161._o and_o then_o 〈◊〉_d most_o pathetic_a tenderness_n to_o the_o dear_a child_n pag._n 16â—_n sect_n xxiii_o act_n and_o kind_n of_o her_o great_a charity_n ibid._n a_o account_n how_o it_o may_v be_v call_v her_o charity_n though_o she_o be_v a_o wife_n and_o great_a charity_n by_o which_o shâ—_n give_v though_o all_o she_o have_v to_o give_v be_v in_o truth_n but_o little_a i_o allow_v she_o what_o my_o small_a estate_n will_v afford_v all_o she_o give_v of_o that_o be_v proper_o her_o own_o charity_n and_o i_o also_o in_o several_a respect_n may_v proper_o be_v call_v she_o to_o pag._n 171._o she_o give_v considerable_o more_o every_a year_n out_o of_o her_o allowance_n than_o she_o spend_v upon_o herself_o she_o will_v buy_v cloth_n from_o london_n by_o the_o whole_a piece_n to_o cloth_n the_o poor_a cause_n strong_a linsey-woolsey_n to_o be_v make_v to_o give_v away_o employ_v the_o poor_a who_o want_v work_n never_o buy_v any_o thing_n too_o cheap_a of_o the_o poor_a people_n etc._n etc._n be_v bountiful_a to_o her_o poor_a relation_n pag._n 175_o yet_o never_o reproach_v herself_o or_o i_o by_o a_o sordid_a garb_n but_o secure_v she_o own_o decency_n with_o great_a prudence_n while_o she_o relieve_v the_o poor_a with_o great_a charity_n pag._n 176_o her_o charity_n in_o pain_n be_v next_o to_o that_o of_o her_o purse_n in_o get_v and_o use_v her_o skill_n in_o physic_n and_o chirurgery_n and_o woman_n labour_v with_o child_n pag._n 180_o her_o forgive_a charity_n pag._n 181_o her_o moderation_n towards_o they_o who_o be_v not_o of_o the_o same_o communion_n pag._n 182_o to_o pag._n 185_o sect_n xxiv_o of_o her_o care_n to_o promote_v god_n glory_n and_o the_o salvation_n of_o soul_n pag._n 185_o sect_n xxv_o several_a grace_n in_o which_o she_o be_v most_o eminent_a pag._n 188._o knowledge_n faith_n charity_n patience_n sympathy_n with_o other_o pity_v to_o the_o poor_a repentance_n reverential_n fear_v of_o god_n love_n obedience_n sincerity_n modesty_n courage_n meekness_n contentedness_n thankfulness_n tenderness_n of_o conscience_n improvement_n of_o time_n zeal_n humility_n from_o pag._n 188_o to_o pag._n 209_o her_o sickness_n and_o death_n pag._n 210_o the_o appendix_n pag._n 232_o direction_n to_o her_o child_n concern_v prayer_n pag._n 214_o to_o pag._n 223_o some_o head_n of_o prayer_n form_v according_a to_o those_o direction_n pag._n 224_o mark_n of_o a_o regenerate_v estate_n pag._n 229_o to_o pag._n 233_o a_o consolatory_a letter_n write_v to_o the_o right_n honourable_a isabel_n countess_n of_o radnor_n upon_o the_o surprise_v death_n of_o her_o dearly-beloved_n daughter_n the_o
wilderness_n to_o be_v tempt_v of_o the_o devil_n and_o be_v forty_o day_n tempt_v of_o he_o st._n luke_n four_o 2._o then_o for_o 13._o when_o the_o devil_n have_v end_v all_o the_o temptation_n he_o depart_v from_o he_o for_o a_o season_n i_o will_v be_v cautious_o tender_a of_o make_v comparison_n to_o that_o divine_a pattern_n yet_o we_o remember_v that_o st._n paul_n tell_v we_o rom._n viij_o 29._o who_o god_n do_v foreknow_v he_o also_o do_v predestinate_a to_o be_v conform_v to_o the_o image_n of_o his_o son_n that_o he_o may_v be_v the_o first-born_a among_o many_o brethren_n and_o the_o instance_n of_o the_o likeness_n betwixt_o christ_n and_o his_o brethren_n be_v place_v heb._n ij_o 18._o in_o be_v tempt_v god_n restrain_v her_o enemy_n as_o she_o always_o call_v the_o devil_n both_o in_o speech_n and_o write_v sometime_o for_o short_a sometime_o for_o long_a season_n sometime_o she_o hardly_o stand_v her_o ground_n and_o keep_v the_o field_n sometime_o she_o so_o resist_v as_o to_o make_v he_o fly_v and_o sometime_o though_o more_o rare_o by_o the_o help_n of_o the_o god_n of_o jacob_n who_o teach_v her_o hand_n to_o war_n and_o her_o finger_n to_o fight_v in_o this_o spiritual_a combat_n and_o who_o she_o use_v to_o importune_v to_o carry_v on_o this_o war_n at_o his_o own_o charge_n because_o the_o quarrel_n be_v his_o own_o she_o obtain_v signal_n and_o triumphant_a victory_n and_o in_o the_o sense_n of_o they_o be_v fill_v with_o joy_n unspeakable_a and_o full_a of_o glory_n be_v more_o than_o conqueror_n through_o he_o that_o love_v she_o rom._n viij_o 37._o yet_o even_o after_o these_o she_o will_v complain_v that_o at_o some_o distance_n beelzebub_n the_o god_n of_o fly_n like_o that_o restless_a impudent_a and_o importunate_a creature_n will_v return_v to_o buz_n yea_o and_o attempt_v to_o blow_v her_o mind_n especial_o if_o there_o be_v any_o sore_a place_n find_v to_o light_v on_o any_o small_a remissness_n or_o bodily_a infirmity_n which_o abate_v her_o vigour_n to_o resist_v or_o keep_v he_o off_o but_o i_o shall_v leave_v at_o present_a this_o more_o dark_a and_o cloudy_a scene_n and_o hasten_v to_o that_o which_o our_o gracious_a god_n of_o his_o infinite_a goodness_n render_v so_o lightsome_a and_o comfortable_a to_o we_o both_o bless_a be_v his_o mercy_n for_o it_o sect_n iii_o of_o our_o marriage_n when_o i_o have_v be_v from_o mr._n beadle_n half_a a_o year_n and_o then_o at_o home_o my_o now_o dear_a husband_n come_v to_o my_o father_n and_o as_o a_o consolatory_a friend_n give_v i_o a_o visit_n some_o time_n after_o he_o come_v again_o and_o some_o month_n have_v pass_v in_o more_o frequent_a conversation_n god_n have_v determine_v our_o mutual_a love_n and_o like_n do_v gracious_o with_o the_o approbation_n of_o my_o friend_n consummate_v our_o choice_n in_o marriage_n for_o which_o good_a providence_n i_o bless_v god_n i_o be_v marry_v by_o mr._n watson_n at_o hammersmith_n on_o july_n 23_o 1650._o my_o father_n and_o my_o mother_n with_o other_o friend_n go_v with_o i_o to_o hammersmith_n the_o morning_n be_v lower_v with_o small_a rain_n and_o very_o likely_a to_o be_v a_o wet_a day_n which_o be_v uncomfortable_a and_o much_o trouble_v i_o but_o recollect_v myself_o my_o thought_n suggest_v to_o i_o what_o be_v matter_n for_o these_o cloud_n if_o the_o sun_n of_o righteousness_n shine_v through_o they_o upon_o we_o i_o have_v not_o get_v to_o the_o waterside_n and_o into_o the_o boat_n but_o the_o sun_n expel_v the_o cloud_n to_o my_o comfort_n it_o break_v forth_o and_o shine_v with_o that_o vigour_n and_o splendour_n that_o to_o the_o best_a of_o my_o observation_n which_o have_v great_a impression_n upon_o i_o i_o do_v not_o know_v that_o the_o sun_n disappear_v one_o moment_n that_o day_n from_o the_o first_o time_n i_o see_v it_o to_o the_o go_v down_o of_o it_o but_o be_v as_o clear_v and_o bright_a a_o day_n as_o ever_o my_o eye_n behold_v thus_o god_n be_v please_v to_o condescend_v to_o my_o weakness_n thus_o far_o my_o dear_a wife_n peneus_n let_v i_o take_v the_o freedom_n to_o subjoin_v the_o first_o visit_n i_o make_v to_o she_o with_o design_n to_o obtain_v she_o for_o my_o wife_n walk_v some_o time_n alone_o in_o her_o father_n parlour_n in_o which_o lie_v a_o fair_a folio_n bible_n on_o a_o desk_n i_o casual_o open_v it_o and_o the_o first_o verse_n i_o cast_v my_o eye_n upon_o be_v prov._n nineteeen_o 14._o house_n and_o riches_n be_v inheritance_n of_o father_n and_o a_o prudent_a wife_n be_v from_o the_o lord_n which_o i_o have_v many_o time_n comfortable_o reflect_v on_o since_o to_o which_o i_o will_v add_v another_o good_a omen_n when_o i_o go_v to_o buy_v a_o wedding-ring_n the_o first_o which_o be_v offer_v to_o i_o have_v this_o posy_n join_v in_o one_o by_o christ_n alone_o which_o i_o like_v so_o well_o i_o look_v no_o far_o and_o it_o fit_v so_o exact_o for_o the_o size_n no_o care_n or_o art_n can_v have_v make_v it_o fit_a i_o be_o so_o far_o from_o put_v any_o great_a stress_n on_o such_o little_a matter_n that_o i_o can_v say_v with_o the_o psalmist_n i_o hate_v those_o who_o hold_v on_o superstitious_a vanity_n yet_o let_v i_o with_o due_a thankfulness_n remark_n not_o the_o effect_n but_o event_n and_o consequent_a our_o whole_a marry_a estate_n be_v like_o the_o light_n of_o the_o morning_n when_o the_o sun_n rise_v even_o a_o morning_n without_o cloud_n and_o as_o clear_v shine_v after_o rain_n and_o if_o ever_o man_n be_v blessed_v with_o a_o prudent_a wife_n i_o owe_v the_o deep_a acknowledgement_n to_o he_o that_o give_v i_o that_o choice_a mercy_n for_o though_o god_n sometime_o do_v we_o the_o honour_n to_o suffer_v his_o own_o enemy_n to_o declare_v themselves_o we_o he_o oft_o convince_v they_o always_o restrain_v they_o that_o they_o can_v not_o considerable_o hurt_v we_o and_o when_o unkind_a envy_n have_v level_v at_o we_o it_o rather_o recoil_v than_o hit_v the_o mark_n bless_a be_v our_o defence_n and_o the_o god_n of_o our_o mercy_n and_o for_o the_o constancy_n of_o mutual_a affection_n if_o we_o sometime_o differ_v in_o small_a matter_n we_o never_o disagree_v or_o once_o close_v our_o eye_n to_o sleep_v in_o thirty_o nine_o year_n seven_o month_n in_o discontent_n or_o under_o dissatisfaction_n on_o either_o part_n so_o gracious_o do_v he_o who_o join_v our_o hand_n and_o heart_n turn_v our_o water_n into_o wine_n not_o only_o on_o our_o marriage-day_n but_o till_o the_o mournful_a period_n of_o it_o bless_a be_v his_o love_a kindness_n for_o it_o we_o be_v in_o great_a danger_n of_o a_o short_a conjugal_a society_n as_o will_v appear_v from_o what_o next_o follow_v when_o we_o be_v first_o marry_v we_o live_v the_o first_o year_n at_o croyden_n in_o surry_n with_o much_o love_n of_o the_o people_n and_o with_o other_o expression_n of_o kindness_n their_o great_a unwillingness_n to_o part_v with_o we_o my_o husband_n ministry_n be_v very_o desirable_a to_o they_o the_o very_a next_o week_n after_o i_o be_v marry_v there_o happen_v a_o contageous_a disease_n at_o croyden_n occasion_v by_o the_o nastiness_n and_o stench_n of_o the_o prisoner_n the_o assize_n be_v then_o keep_v there_o of_o which_o disease_n both_o the_o judge_n some_o of_o the_o justice_n and_o many_o inhabitant_n die_v my_o husband_n preach_v at_o the_o assize_n he_o be_v both_o with_o the_o prisoner_n and_o the_o sick_a yet_o god_n spare_v he_o for_o far_a use_n for_o his_o glory_n he_o have_v some_o degree_n of_o the_o disease_n but_o i_o bless_v god_n it_o go_v off_o with_o sweat_v and_o some_o other_o help_n at_o my_o father_n house_n in_o london_n from_o whence_o we_o be_v not_o then_o full_o remove_v sect_n iv_o her_o life_n in_o a_o concise_a epitome_n if_o i_o may_v hitherto_o seem_v to_o any_o to_o have_v forget_v my_o text_n i_o mean_v my_o title_n page_n i_o beg_v their_o pardon_n if_o they_o think_v i_o need_v it_o i_o shall_v in_o what_o remain_v keep_v close_o to_o it_o and_o may_v draw_v her_o lively_a effigy_n in_o miniture_n with_o a_o scripture_n pencil_n and_o with_o few_o touch_v true_o represent_v she_o icon._n such_o as_o these_o to_o she_o to_o live_v be_v christ_n and_o to_o die_v be_v gain_v the_o life_n she_o live_v in_o the_o flesh_n she_o live_v by_o the_o faith_n of_o the_o son_n of_o god_n her_o life_n be_v hide_v with_o god_n in_o christ_n her_o life_n be_v a_o continual_a warfare_n against_o her_o restless_a enemy_n her_o life_n be_v a_o course_n which_o she_o so_o run_v that_o she_o may_v obtain_v her_o life_n be_v a_o daily_a meditation_n on_o death_n and_o serious_a preparation_n for_o it_o her_o life_n be_v to_o follow_v after_o peace_n with_o man_n as_o much_o
through_o thy_o grace_n i_o loathe_v o_o bless_a lord_n and_o enter_v my_o solemn_a protest_v against_o they_o defiance_n and_o detestation_n of_o they_o good_a god_n i_o will_v not_o have_v a_o irreverent_a thought_n of_o thy_o sacred_a be_v incomprehensible_a and_o most_o excellent_a perfection_n and_o transcendent_a glory_n which_o i_o will_v and_o do_v with_o my_o whole_a heart_n soul_n and_o all_o the_o power_n of_o my_o whole_a man_n with_o all_o integrity_n acknowledge_v and_o subscribe_v to_o with_o my_o own_o hand_n to_o which_o o_o lord_n i_o beg_v the_o seal_n of_o thy_o spirit_n as_o a_o witness_n to_o my_o soul_n that_o i_o be_o in_o christ_n jesus_n thy_o child_n and_o servant_n elizabeth_n walker_n engage_v i_o be_o o_o lord_n by_o covenant_n with_o thou_o in_o baptism_n to_o fight_v thy_o battle_n i_o beseech_v thou_o put_v on_o i_o that_o whole_a and_o complete_a armour_n that_o i_o may_v be_v able_a to_o resist_v my_o strong_a enemy_n which_o war_n against_o my_o soul_n and_o fight_v against_o thou_o bless_a lord_n i_o desire_v to_o prostrate_v myself_o at_o thy_o foot_n in_o the_o deep_a sense_n of_o my_o own_o unworthiness_n that_o thou_o shall_v look_v upon_o and_o help_v such_o a_o miscreant_n and_o forlorn_a sinner_n but_o for_o his_o sake_n that_o never_o sin_v i_o beseech_v thou_o support_v i_o with_o thy_o compassionate_a mercy_n to_o i_o a_o loathsome_a and_o defile_a sinner_n and_o give_v i_o not_o over_o to_o spiritual_a judgement_n hardness_n of_o heart_n blindness_n of_o mind_n impenitency_n a_o evil_a heart_n of_o unbelief_n depart_v from_o thou_o give_v i_o not_o up_o into_o the_o hand_n of_o they_o that_o hate_v i_o and_o will_v work_v my_o ruin_n i_o beseech_v thou_o do_v not_o choose_v my_o delusion_n leave_v i_o to_o a_o deceivable_a heart_n to_o which_o i_o dare_v not_o trust_v without_o the_o guard_n of_o thy_o holy_a spirit_n leave_v i_o not_o o_o god_n to_o my_o own_o strength_n in_o which_o i_o can_v do_v the_o least_o good_a and_o without_o thou_o shall_v fall_v into_o the_o great_a evil_n of_o soul_n and_o body_n and_o sink_v to_o the_o bottom_n of_o the_o bottomless_a pit_n of_o sin_n and_o eternal_a misery_n from_o which_o o_o god_n i_o beseech_v thou_o let_v thy_o unfathomed_a mercy_n in_o christ_n jesus_n speedy_o prevent_v i_o and_o give_v a_o mortal_a stab_n to_o all_o my_o corruption_n by_o what_o course_n soever_o thou_o will_v take_v with_o i_o only_o let_v i_o fall_v into_o thy_o compassionate_a hand_n good_a lord_n bound_v up_o my_o wound_n and_o heal_v my_o putrify_a soar_v i_o beseech_v thou_o forsake_v i_o not_o in_o the_o time_n of_o my_o old_a age_n when_o strength_n fail_v and_o suffer_v not_o the_o defect_n of_o my_o body_n to_o become_v the_o sin_n of_o my_o soul_n i_o beseech_v thou_o suffer_v no_o trial_n to_o be_v above_o my_o strength_n but_o bless_a lord_n thou_o that_o have_v suffer_v be_v tempt_v make_v a_o way_n for_o i_o that_o i_o may_v be_v able_a to_o bear_v it_o i_o beseech_v thou_o lay_v that_o hand_n on_o i_o thou_o take_v hold_v on_o peter_n with_o that_o i_o may_v not_o sink_v in_o the_o deep_a water_n in_o which_o there_o be_v no_o stand_v good_a lord_n suffer_v no_o weapon_n form_v against_o i_o to_o prosper_v but_o bring_v i_o up_o out_o of_o my_o astonishment_n and_o confusion_n of_o soul_n though_o the_o enemy_n break_v in_o like_o a_o flood_n let_v thy_o holy_a spirit_n in_o my_o heart_n lift_v up_o a_o standard_n against_o he_o good_a lord_n take_v a_o full_a possession_n of_o my_o soul_n and_o suffer_v no_o rival_n with_o thou_o let_v i_o be_v guide_v govern_v and_o act_v by_o thou_o good_a lord_n let_v no_o sin_n have_v dominion_n over_o i_o i_o beseech_v thou_o fill_v my_o heart_n and_o soul_n with_o the_o grace_n of_o thy_o bless_a spirit_n deep_a reverentialness_n of_o thou_o much_o love_n fervour_n and_o zeal_n for_o thy_o glory_n which_o i_o beseech_v thou_o cause_n to_o be_v ever_o very_a and_o exceed_o dear_a and_o precious_a to_o i_o and_o suffer_v not_o the_o envenom_a arrow_n of_o my_o enemy_n to_o stick_v on_o i_o but_o i_o beseech_v thou_o quench_v all_o those_o fiery_a dart_n the_o poison_n of_o they_o drink_v up_o my_o spirit_n good_a lord_n apply_v to_o my_o soul_n that_o heal_a balsam_n make_v of_o the_o blood_n of_o the_o son_n of_o god_n and_o with_o a_o indelible_a character_n let_v thy_o law_n be_v write_v on_o my_o heart_n o_o bless_a god_n father_n saviour_n sanctifier_n i_o beseech_v thou_o make_v this_o the_o transcript_n of_o my_o soul_n in_o a_o holy_a life_n in_o submission_n and_o obedience_n to_o thou_o in_o all_o thing_n with_o all_o possible_a adoration_n thanksgiving_n and_o praise_v unto_o thou_o o_o lord_n most_o due_a in_o heaven_n and_o on_o earth_n to_o which_o i_o say_v amen_n amen_n amen_n she_o read_v also_o all_o the_o good_a book_n with_o intent_a diligence_n she_o can_v inquire_v out_o or_o be_v inform_v of_o on_o this_o subject_a and_o weep_v bucket_n of_o tear_n to_o quench_v those_o fiery_a dart_n which_o though_o she_o have_v a_o excellent_a eye_n bring_v she_o many_o year_n since_o to_o the_o use_n of_o spectacle_n and_o cause_v she_o oft_o to_o use_v the_o psalmist_n expression_n my_o eye_n be_v consume_v because_o of_o grief_n and_o wax_v old_a because_o of_o my_o enemy_n and_o will_v often_o pray_v that_o her_o bodily-infirmity_n may_v not_o be_v her_o soul_n dis-advantage_n and_o say_v that_o though_o they_o be_v not_o her_o sin_n they_o be_v the_o effect_n of_o they_o thus_o be_v her_o life_n a_o continual_a warfare_n in_o which_o she_o fight_v the_o good_a fight_n of_o faith_n and_o be_v more_o than_o conqueror_n through_o he_o that_o love_v she_o and_o help_v she_o and_o i_o be_o comfortable_o upon_o good_a ground_n persuade_v have_v receive_v a_o glorious_a crown_n of_o righteousness_n from_o he_o who_o appearance_n she_o so_o hearty_o love_v and_o so_o constant_o and_o earnest_o wait_v for_o her_o warfare_n be_v accomplish_v and_o she_o rest_v from_o these_o and_o all_o her_o labour_n and_o as_o she_o overcome_v in_o his_o strength_n who_o teach_v her_o hand_n to_o war_n and_o finger_n to_o fight_n and_o cover_v her_o head_n in_o the_o day_n of_o battle_n so_o to_o he_o be_v all_o the_o glory_n and_o eternal_a praise_n amen_n amen_n sect_n xviii_o friend_n she_o use_v to_o pray_v for_o i_o subjoin_v to_o the_o precedent_n a_o account_n of_o another_o paper_n which_o as_o the_o last_o abovenamed_a i_o find_v in_o a_o distinct_a sheet_n with_o this_o title_n a_o catalogue_n of_o christian_a friend_n who_o i_o desire_v in_o a_o peculiar_a manner_n to_o present_v in_o my_o poor_a prayer_n to_o god_n at_o the_o throne_n of_o his_o grace_n and_o that_o god_n will_v do_v for_o they_o for_o soul_n and_o body_n above_o what_o i_o can_v ask_v then_o follow_v this_o prayer_n gracious_a god_n thou_o have_v command_v to_o pray_v for_o all_o man_n but_o especial_o for_o the_o household_n of_o faith_n lord_n thou_o never_o say_v 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a_o good_a gentleman_n our_o friend_n and_o neighbour_n mr._n luther_n of_o miles_n three_o mile_n distant_a from_o we_o upon_o which_o she_o write_v a_o most_o kind_a and_o christian_a letter_n to_o he_o of_o which_o i_o find_v the_o copy_n she_o record_v the_o death_n of_o many_o friend_n and_o always_o with_o a_o short_a character_n of_o they_o and_o useful_a improvement_n as_o for_o instance_n april_n 12._o 1678._o it_o please_v god_n to_o take_v to_o himself_o the_o most_o excellent_a lady_n the_o countess_n of_o warwick_n she_o be_v eminent_a in_o religion_n a_o sound_n christian_n in_o knowledge_n and_o practice_n exceed_v charitable_a do_v very_o much_o good_a a_o very_a sincere_a and_o oblige_a friend_n very_o sweet_a in_o disposition_n and_o in_o condescension_n to_o all_o even_o to_o those_o much_o below_o she_o she_o do_v excel_v both_o in_o religion_n and_o in_o all_o other_o commendable_a virtue_n she_o live_v very_o desirable_a and_o die_v much_o bewail_v as_o a_o deep_a loss_n to_o her_o relation_n to_o the_o neighbourhood_n to_o the_o church_n and_o people_n of_o god_n to_o all_o that_o know_v she_o among_o who_o to_o my_o dear_a husband_n to_o he_o she_o be_v a_o most_o entire_a friend_n and_o to_o myself_o good_a lord_n sanctify_v to_o we_o this_o heavy_a deprivation_n the_o loss_n of_o our_o honourable_a and_o most_o endear_v friend_n lord_n make_v up_o the_o breach_n which_o for_o extent_n be_v very_o wide_a yet_o not_o beyond_o the_o bound_n of_o thy_o boundless_a compassion_n good_a lord_n fill_v up_o to_o we_o and_o all_o that_o share_n in_o this_o smarty_a touch_n of_o thy_o hand_n with_o full_a supply_n fetch_v beyond_o creature-enjoyment_n more_o immediate_a from_o thyself_o in_o thy_o immutable_a friendship_n and_o never-dying_a love_n and_o favour_n in_o that_o unchangeable_a rock_n of_o age_n christ_n jesus_n which_o lord_n vouchsafe_v to_o grant_v amen_n amen_n and_o have_v name_v several_a death_n of_o other_o friend_n with_o true_a 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she_o god_n be_v please_v to_o give_v she_o much_o honour_n and_o esteem_v in_o this_o world_n with_o which_o she_o retain_v a_o lowly_a mind_n with_o much_o sweet_a oblige_a kindness_n to_o all_o acquaint_v with_o she_o she_o be_v very_o friendly_a to_o the_o mean_a sort_n very_o kind_a and_o charitable_a to_o poor_a people_n to_o who_o she_o have_v a_o very_a compassionate_a heart_n and_o bountiful_a hand_n in_o relieve_v of_o they_o which_o she_o do_v with_o great_a privacy_n though_o god_n have_v be_v please_v since_o her_o death_n to_o make_v it_o know_v by_o they_o in_o their_o acknowledgement_n and_o bewail_v their_o loss_n of_o she_o i_o bless_v god_n she_o live_v very_o desirable_a and_o die_v much_o lament_v she_o be_v a_o very_a love_a dutiful_a child_n to_o her_o parent_n a_o very_a endear_n wife_n to_o her_o husband_n and_o very_o sweet_a in_o all_o her_o relation_n she_o be_v very_o acceptable_a to_o all_o her_o husband_n kindred_n by_o who_o the_o loss_n of_o she_o be_v 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another_o with_o sweet_a acclamation_n of_o thankfulness_n and_o praise_n to_o thou_o our_o god_n for_o ever_o for_o ever_o amen_n amen_n amen_n i_o have_v transcribe_v this_o long_a paragraph_n without_o alter_v or_o change_v the_o order_n of_o a_o word_n if_o some_o may_v account_v it_o tedious_a who_o either_o have_v not_o be_v exercise_v with_o such_o trial_n or_o have_v other_o short_a and_o cheap_a way_n to_o relieve_v themselves_o against_o they_o let_v they_o use_v their_o own_o method_n without_o censure_v or_o despise_v she_o this_o be_v her_o heart_n ease_n when_o she_o be_v overwhelm_v pour_v out_o her_o complaint_n to_o god_n in_o secret_n be_v her_o best_a anodine_n but_o i_o hope_v it_o will_v need_v no_o apology_n with_o most_o and_o if_o it_o do_v with_o any_o i_o will_v not_o run_v the_o risk_a of_o lose_v my_o labour_n by_o attempt_v it_o where_o the_o success_n be_v so_o doubtful_a and_o unpromised_a i_o shall_v venture_v to_o enlarge_v this_o section_n a_o little_a far_o for_o three_o reason_n first_o to_o show_v the_o ardour_n of_o her_o zeal_n for_o the_o spiritual_a good_a of_o this_o child_n so_o exceed_v dear_a to_o she_o which_o may_v be_v a_o instructive_a example_n to_o some_o mother_n or_o grandmother_n to_o stir_v up_o the_o like_a towards_o their_o descendant_n as_o near_o relate_v to_o they_o as_o this_o child_n to_o she_o second_o because_o i_o foresee_v i_o shall_v not_o in_o the_o body_n of_o this_o book_n have_v much_o far_a occasion_n to_o trouble_v the_o reader_n with_o any_o long_a transcript_n out_o of_o her_o write_n what_o remain_v be_v design_v for_o the_o appendix_n which_o will_v be_v entire_o her_o own_o last_o to_o imprint_v upon_o the_o child_n due_a sentiment_n of_o gratitude_n to_o god_n and_o she_o i_o meet_v with_o many_o expression_n of_o most_o pathetic_a tenderness_n towards_o this_o dear_a child_n who_o now_o next_o to_o myself_o be_v the_o centre_n in_o which_o all_o the_o line_n of_o her_o strong_a 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coat_n good_a lord_n help_v i_o to_o live_v thy_o praise_n who_o be_v the_o god_n of_o our_o mercy_n some_o may_v say_v these_o be_v small_a matter_n but_o i_o say_v they_o be_v no_o small_a evidence_n of_o a_o very_a thankful_a sense_n of_o god_n mercy_n and_o will_v leave_v they_o inexcusable_a who_o be_v not_o thankful_a for_o great_a in_o the_o year_n 1682._o god_n be_v please_v to_o put_v i_o in_o fear_n of_o the_o speedy_a dissolution_n of_o our_o dear_o belove_a grandchild_n he_o be_v in_o a_o languish_a consumptive_a condition_n with_o other_o symptom_n of_o the_o disease_n his_o breath_n be_v very_o short_a have_v lose_v his_o appetite_n he_o look_v very_o pale_a be_v very_o lean_a which_o impress_v on_o my_o thought_n that_o god_n will_v take_v he_o from_o i_o to_o his_o righteous_a will_v i_o labour_v to_o submit_v but_o god_n be_v please_v to_o reverse_v the_o sentence_n with_o a_o blessing_n on_o mean_n use_v the_o prescription_n of_o dr._n h._n who_o we_o send_v for_o from_o london_n to_o he_o and_o with_o my_o own_o great_a care_n of_o he_o he_o recover_v strength_n to_o god_n blessing_n i_o ascribe_v the_o praise_n who_o do_v not_o cast_v out_o my_o petition_n good_a lord_n let_v this_o pledge_n of_o thy_o compassionate_v mercy_n to_o i_o strengthen_v my_o faith_n in_o the_o grant_n of_o my_o more_o earnest_a request_n that_o i_o may_v assure_v myself_o agreeable_a to_o thy_o will_n of_o his_o sanctification_n i_o beseech_v thou_o season_v his_o tender_a mind_n with_o the_o savoury_a knowledge_n of_o thy_o bless_a self_n lord_n i_o do_v not_o ask_v of_o thou_o the_o excess_n and_o great_a thing_n of_o this_o world_n not_o earth_n but_o heaven_n thy_o bless_a self_n i_o beseech_v thou_o put_v