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wonder_v at_o my_o infirmity_n and_o disable_n in_o my_o fortune_n in_o conclusion_n impute_v it_o to_o my_o have_v be_v put_v out_o of_o my_o way_n upon_o what_o ground_n i_o know_v not_o but_o i_o be_o sure_a he_o be_v not_o mistake_v for_o first_o my_o early_a marriage_n in_o a_o short_a fortune_n abate_v the_o edge_n and_o alacrity_n of_o my_o spirit_n next_o the_o course_n and_o conversation_n of_o the_o court_n by_o accident_n make_v unfit_a and_o unfavourable_a to_o i_o have_v enter_v upon_o it_o be_v no_o small_a dejection_n myself_o also_o by_o the_o examination_n and_o test_n of_o discourse_n contradict_v â—â—chewed_v and_o restrain_v my_o natural_a and_o youthful_a inclination_n which_o other_o young_a man_n use_v with_o a_o full_a sail_n to_o give_v way_n to_o and_o uncontrol_o please_v themselves_o amate_v and_o contristate_v my_o mind_n but_o above_o all_o the_o good_a spirit_n of_o god_n who_o way_n and_o religion_n be_v opposite_a to_o flesh_n and_o blood_n and_o consequent_o to_o i_o and_o i_o in_o nature_n bring_v such_o a_o conflict_n upon_o i_o as_o prove_v at_o first_o to_o corrupt_v nature_n ever_o harsh_a and_o perplex_a with_o many_o reluctation_n win_n and_o lose_n of_o ground_n but_o by_o degree_n and_o succession_n of_o grace_n sweet_o recompense_v all_o our_o conflict_n all_o our_o suffering_n good_a god_n how_o sweet_a and_o admirable_a be_v thy_o mercy_n which_o never_o fail_v to_o relieve_v and_o deliver_v they_o who_o persevere_v to_o call_v and_o rely_v upon_o thou_o oh_o the_o tumultuous_a condition_n of_o a_o melancholy_a taint_a mind_n oh_o the_o herculean_a labour_n to_o oppose_v and_o repress_v it_o how_o thought_n impetuous_o like_o hydra_n head_n grow_v upon_o we_o as_o fast_o as_o we_o allay_v and_o cut_v they_o off_o junâ—_n shall_v have_v set_v hercules_n to_o that_o task_n to_o have_v plague_v he_o more_o than_o all_o his_o monster_n all_o his_o labour_n it_o be_v true_o say_v of_o it_o that_o it_o be_v hospitium_fw-la calamitatis_fw-la &_o quamcunque_fw-la rem_fw-la malam_fw-la quares_n illic_fw-la inuenies_fw-la it_o insinuate_v itself_o at_o first_o as_o a_o flatter_a friend_n but_o in_o the_o treacherous_a sweetness_n of_o it_o we_o drown_v and_o lose_v ourselves_o like_o unlucky_a fly_n etc._n etc._n proh_fw-la jupiter_n quantum_fw-la mortalia_fw-la pectora_fw-la caecae_fw-la noctis_fw-la habent_fw-la how_o many_o way_n there_o be_v for_o we_o to_o lose_v ourselves_o in_o this_o world_n labyrinth_n and_o how_o many_o miscarry_v before_o they_o understand_v where_o they_o be_v why_o they_o come_v &_o what_o they_o have_v to_o do_v some_o lose_v themselves_o in_o their_o pleasure_n other_o in_o their_o trouble_n some_o find_v unfortunate_a and_o so_o deign_v some_o a_o linger_a ruin_n some_o be_v bear_v to_o â—â—â—re_v some_o to_o stormy_a day_n some_o to_o journey_n with_o the_o windâ—_n in_o their_o back_n some_o in_o their_o face_n if_o fate_n be_v but_o a_o dream_n the_o world_n have_v be_v much_o deceive_v the_o constancy_n of_o it_o in_o some_o man_n fortune_n speak_v it_o more_o to_o the_o christian_a all_o be_v the_o providence_n of_o god_n and_o there_o be_v no_o true_a plaster_n for_o the_o cure_n of_o a_o break_a heart_n a_o break_a fortune_n but_o the_o contemplation_n and_o application_n of_o his_o goodness_n and_o mercy_n by_o a_o lively_a faith_n that_o must_v be_v his_o gift_n and_o will_v dispel_v all_o cloud_n storm_n and_o discomfort_n it_o little_o import_v what_o weather_n we_o find_v in_o a_o short_a journey_n so_o we_o attain_v at_o our_o journey_n end_n a_o place_n of_o perdurable_a joy_n and_o comfort_n how_o full_a of_o darkness_n be_v the_o mind_n of_o man_n how_o little_o do_v we_o understand_v and_o how_o little_a be_v we_o able_a to_o make_v use_n without_o god_n grace_n of_o what_o we_o know_v how_o often_o and_o violent_o be_v we_o transport_v as_o it_o be_v against_o our_o will_n against_o our_o knowledge_n how_o obvious_a and_o near_a unto_o we_o be_v thing_n ordinary_o most_o useful_a and_o affect_v which_o yet_o we_o be_v most_o blind_a to_o discern_v at_o our_o need_n such_o be_v our_o frailty_n such_o our_o blindness_n so_o that_o neither_o ear_n eye_n knowledge_n will_n or_o understanding_n be_v far_a available_a than_o it_o shall_v please_v god_n to_o bless_v they_o he_o alone_o it_o be_v that_o give_v the_o will_n and_o the_o deed_n and_o without_o he_o the_o will_n be_v uneffectual_a he_o have_v small_a experience_n of_o the_o world_n or_o have_v little_o observe_v himself_o who_o have_v not_o this_o experience_n it_o have_v please_v god_n to_o have_v bless_v i_o with_o some_o understanding_n some_o industry_n and_o some_o holy_a affection_n towards_o he_o all_o have_v fail_v i_o and_o in_o all_o i_o have_v be_v fail_v to_o myself_o yet_o through_o many_o fall_v and_o frailty_n i_o be_o confident_a at_o last_o by_o his_o great_a mercy_n to_o have_v attain_v such_o grace_n as_o will_v abide_v with_o i_o to_o my_o eternal_a comfort_n god_n grant_v i_o to_o my_o end_n the_o antidote_n of_o faith_n and_o confidence_n of_o his_o mercy_n in_o christ_n etc._n etc._n august_n 8._o 1637._o it_o be_v good_a to_o refer_v ourselves_o to_o god_n who_o best_o know_v what_o be_v good_a for_o we_o in_o the_o discourse_n of_o death_n i_o fall_v in_o my_o first_o manhood_n to_o affect_v that_o caesaâ—_n kind_n which_o be_v least_o long_o and_o languish_a suppose_v ever_o a_o constant_a preparation_n but_o it_o have_v please_v god_n contrariwise_o that_o i_o have_v spend_v a_o great_a part_n of_o my_o time_n face_v and_o struggle_v with_o seem_v imminent_a death_n so_o far_o have_v i_o be_v from_o enjoy_v the_o pleasure_n and_o contentment_n that_o this_o world_n afford_v to_o other_o i_o humble_o thank_v god_n who_o have_v give_v i_o patience_n and_o without_o his_o grace_n and_o respect_n to_o he_o my_o resolution_n can_v never_o have_v undergo_v it_o melancholy_n the_o taint_n and_o canker_n of_o our_o mind_n body_n and_o fortune_n how_o many_o way_n and_o easy_o be_v thou_o contract_v how_o almost_o impossible_a to_o be_v cure_v how_o inevitable_o incident_a to_o many_o yea_o the_o strong_a mind_n especial_o when_o many_o perplexity_n and_o cross_a accident_n do_v at_o once_o assault_v they_o for_o my_o part_n beside_o my_o mischievous_a disease_n breed_v in_o my_o body_n which_o natural_o work_v upon_o the_o mind_n make_v all_o more_o sour_a and_o difficult_a i_o meet_v with_o cross_a ambiguity_n and_o judication_n in_o almost_o all_o that_o concern_v i_o or_o that_o i_o affect_v i_o confess_v that_o which_o now_o more_o torment_v i_o a_o resolution_n and_o course_n may_v have_v be_v take_v to_o have_v prevent_v in_o reason_n the_o unhappiness_n which_o i_o have_v find_v and_o breed_v but_o alas_o i_o be_v nip_v in_o my_o bud_n destitute_a of_o experience_n and_o good_a advice_n meet_v with_o time_n opposite_a and_o such_o a_o disposition_n of_o my_o own_o as_o can_v neither_o abandon_v itself_o to_o pleasure_n nor_o rigid_a enough_o to_o subsist_v profit_v though_o ever_o so_o sensible_a therein_o as_o never_o to_o allow_v myself_o a_o ruinous_a delight_n my_o expense_n have_v never_o the_o ground_n of_o please_v myself_o though_o our_o artificial_a humane_a condition_n be_v full_a of_o ambiguity_n and_o some_o mind_n more_o than_o other_o of_o various_a complexion_n yet_o have_v i_o miss_v my_o disease_n i_o may_v with_o god_n grace_n as_o well_o as_o another_o have_v extricate_v myself_o a_o soul_n hard_o to_o please_v and_o a_o pregnant_a fancy_n be_v of_o the_o most_o troublesome_a guest_n a_o man_n can_v lodge_v i_o have_v at_o length_n learn_v so_o to_o disaffect_v this_o world_n and_o worldly_a pleasure_n that_o by_o god_n grace_n i_o be_o only_o please_v in_o he_o it_o be_v a_o hard_a conquest_n etc._n etc._n august_n 8._o 1637._o man_n certain_o in_o his_o natural_n as_o more_o abound_v in_o fancy_n be_v more_o variable_a than_o other_o creature_n yet_o more_o sophisticated_a by_o pleasure_n art_n and_o policy_n by_o religion_n cross_v his_o nature_n cast_v into_o further_a ambiguity_n and_o perplexity_n difficulty_n and_o disproportion_n in_o his_o condition_n and_o fortune_n with_o respect_n to_o his_o quality_n and_o engagement_n aggravate_v and_o intricate_a he_o often_o more_o but_o when_o a_o root_v melancholy_a once_o seize_v he_o as_o by_o many_o accident_n as_o well_o as_o natural_o it_o often_o do_v then_o to_o disentangle_a from_o the_o cross_a consideration_n incident_a to_o a_o perverse_a fortune_n will_v trouble_v a_o strong_a mind_n nay_o so_o hard_o be_v it_o to_o reconcile_v the_o inconvenience_n to_o find_v and_o take_v the_o best_a in_o the_o course_n of_o the_o world_n that_o the_o strong_a and_o large_a the_o mind_n be_v which_o be_v to_o choose_v the_o hard_a it_o find_v it_o to_o please_v itself_o and_o the_o
though_o the_o melancholic_a patient_n have_v a_o wolf_n by_o the_o ear_n of_o his_o disease_n trouble_v in_o hold_v and_o stir_v and_o unsafe_a to_o let_v go_v yet_o i_o esteem_v it_o a_o poor_a resolution_n to_o suffer_v a_o root_a mischief_n which_o be_v present_o noxious_a and_o will_v more_o and_o more_o grow_v dangerous_a upon_o fear_n of_o adventure_n where_o there_o be_v any_o the_o least_o hope_n of_o deliver_v ourselves_o in_o supportable_a evil_n admit_v and_o excite_v rather_o to_o any_o hazard_n than_o a_o miserable_a toleration_n a_o hopeless_a condition_n be_v most_o calamitous_a a_o well-built_a body_n will_v endure_v and_o work_v out_o very_o much_o like_o a_o good_a ship_n against_o soul_n weather_n at_o sea_n i_o i_o thank_v god_n be_v such_o that_o have_v not_o my_o mind_n like_o a_o evil_a steersman_n infinite_o even_o of_o late_a be_v injurious_a unto_o it_o i_o have_v by_o god_n grace_n infallible_o prevail_v both_o against_o my_o giant_n disease_n and_o infinite_a intervening_a unfriendly_a accident_n but_o by_o god_n help_n i_o daily_o mend_v and_o hope_v to_o leap_v over_o the_o wall_n nil_fw-la desperandum_fw-la in_o christo_fw-la nil_fw-la auspice_n christo._n l'industrie_n est_fw-fr de_fw-fr nous_fw-fr l'heâ—rex_fw-la suceez_fw-fr de_fw-fr dieu_fw-fr december_n 11._o 1637._o to_o give_v we_o courage_n in_o misfortune_n it_o be_v well_o say_v of_o fortune_n that_o her_o course_n be_v irregular_a and_o that_o we_o ought_v not_o to_o despair_v of_o she_o for_o often_o when_o she_o appear_v to_o threaten_v we_o with_o imminent_a ruin_n she_o be_v true_o in_o the_o article_n and_o catastrophe_n of_o our_o good_a and_o advantage_n it_o be_v more_o verify_v in_o the_o way_n of_o god_n nothing_o more_o ordinary_a with_o he_o then_o by_o humble_v we_o to_o exalt_v we_o and_o to_o strew_v the_o path_n to_o heaven_n with_o affliction_n caesar_n animate_v his_o pilot_n by_o carry_v he_o and_o his_o fortune_n it_o be_v a_o vain_a presumption_n but_o he_o who_o the_o almighty_a be_v pilot_n to_o can_v sink_v nor_o miscarry_v to_o demonstrate_v his_o power_n and_o awake_v the_o faith_n of_o his_o favourite_n he_o permit_v as_o to_o his_o disciple_n the_o storm_n to_o rise_v and_o wave_n to_o threaten_v destruction_n and_o in_o his_o mighty_a and_o supernatural_a reskue_n appear_v his_o sweet_a comfort_n his_o great_a glory_n nec_fw-la deus_fw-la intersit_fw-la nisi_fw-la dignus_fw-la vindice_fw-la nodus_fw-la as_o the_o divine_n affirm_v that_o tentation_n proceed_v from_o the_o devil_n may_v be_v distinguish_v by_o their_o violent_a and_o sudden_a surprise_n so_o may_v divine_a deliverance_n be_v infallible_o know_v by_o the_o sudden_a and_o extraordinary_a help_n that_o we_o receive_v from_o they_o at_o such_o time_n as_o our_o condition_n appear_v unto_o we_o most_o irremediable_a and_o desperate_a i_o have_v infinite_a matter_n and_o thanks_o to_o render_v to_o my_o maker_n to_o my_o saviour_n but_o in_o nothing_o more_o than_o that_o of_o his_o abundant_a mercy_n he_o have_v be_v please_v to_o lead_v i_o through_o sea_n through_o wilderness_n of_o trouble_n and_o error_n by_o a_o cloud_n by_o fire_n by_o the_o thunder_n of_o his_o voice_n by_o infinite_a wonder_n for_o near_o forty_o year_n together_o to_o bring_v meat_n last_o to_o his_o happy_a land_n of_o promise_n that_o be_v to_o peace_n joy_n and_o repose_v in_o he_o where_o alone_o flow_v all_o true_a happiness_n and_o fix_a contentment_n there_o can_v in_o truth_n be_v no_o constant_a courage_n without_o a_o firm_a faith_n and_o assurance_n of_o god_n favour_n towards_o we_o that_o alone_o fortify_v we_o against_o danger_n darkness_n and_o death_n december_n 12._o 1637._o it_o be_v true_o say_v that_o we_o know_v so_o much_o as_o we_o put_v in_o practice_n nor_o be_v the_o notion_n and_o float_a impression_n of_o the_o brain_n without_o a_o through_o tincture_n of_o the_o heart_n and_o soul_n any_o effectual_a science_n and_o so_o it_o be_v that_o virtue_n be_v constitute_v a_o habit_n and_o not_o only_o a_o babble_a scientifical_a discourse_n of_o the_o mind_n until_o i_o consider_v this_o i_o often_o wonder_v to_o see_v the_o best_a clerk_n often_o the_o worst_a man_n as_o well_o as_o none_o of_o wise_a man_n read_v and_o study_v common_o rather_o for_o curiosity_n to_o censure_v to_o learn_v language_n and_o the_o course_n and_o manner_n of_o the_o world_n to_o maintain_v a_o side_n to_o gain_v bread_n and_o knowledge_n like_o other_o man_n rather_o than_o truth_n virtue_n and_o piety_n to_o gather_v opinion_n and_o to_o appear_v good_a rather_o than_o to_o be_v propound_v to_o ourselves_o wrong_v object_n no_o wonder_n if_o we_o miss_v the_o right_n which_o make_v so_o many_o scholar_n who_o study_n to_o get_v the_o best_a live_n less_o virtuous_a in_o their_o life_n than_o other_o who_o more_o virtuous_o and_o spiritual_o then_o worldly_a affect_v study_v rather_o to_o nourish_v then_o cloth_n to_o die_v then_o paint_v their_o mind_n corrupt_a nature_n like_o a_o deprave_a stomach_n turn_v and_o assimilate_v all_o nourishment_n it_o make_v a_o alien_n of_o foreign_a instruction_n and_o govern_v itself_o by_o its_o own_o law_n nay_o ordinary_o against_o our_o will_n and_o resolution_n nature_n relapse_n and_o ravish_v we_o from_o our_o moral_n from_o our_o metaphysicals_n sensuality_n prevail_v and_o we_o prevaricate_v with_o our_o conscience_n when_o i_o approach_v god_n sanctuary_n this_o be_v yet_o less_o strange_a unto_o i_o there_o as_o copernicus_n have_v place_v the_o sun_n in_o the_o centre_n of_o this_o universe_n who_o influence_n and_o magnetic_a virtue_n give_v life_n and_o motion_n to_o all_o material_a creature_n so_o be_v it_o clear_a that_o the_o immaterial_a mind_n of_o man_n have_v its_o life_n and_o motion_n only_o from_o the_o good_a spirit_n of_o god_n and_o unless_o by_o his_o influence_n and_o inspiration_n he_o carry_v our_o instruction_n and_o information_n to_o the_o root_n except_o he_o alter_v reform_v and_o season_v our_o heart_n like_o hasty_a shower_n all_o pass_v away_o whereas_o a_o sound_a heavenly_a dew_n work_v a_o better_a water_v and_o fruitfulness_n want_v of_o that_o divine_a irradiation_n make_v we_o such_o mungrill_n such_o half_a christian_n as_o we_o ordinary_o be_v acknowledge_v our_o faith_n and_o saviour_n in_o our_o tongue_n and_o deny_v he_o in_o our_o life_n god_n of_o his_o great_a grace_n grant_v we_o his_o save_a spirit_n and_o we_o shall_v as_o well_o practice_n as_o seem_v to_o know_v and_o profess_v amen_o amen_n december_n 14._o 1637._o no_o wonder_n that_o i_o search_v into_o the_o abstruse_a cause_n and_o proceed_n of_o my_o disease_n for_o i_o be_o a_o wonder_n to_o myself_o that_o a_o sanguine_a complexion_n with_o a_o natural_a strength_n of_o body_n and_o mind_n and_o none_o of_o the_o most_o impertinent_a in_o wit_n and_o discourse_n shall_v fall_v into_o so_o great_a a_o confusion_n and_o consumption_n of_o mind_n body_n and_o fortune_n without_o some_o outward_a most_o apparent_a violence_n but_o beside_o what_o i_o have_v former_o express_v i_o consider_v that_o steep_v myself_o in_o my_o beginning_n in_o the_o study_n of_o mountain_n essay_n which_o be_v full_a of_o scepticism_n and_o a_o kind_n of_o moral_a mortification_n in_o cry_v down_o the_o delight_n and_o presumption_n of_o this_o world_n prove_v to_o a_o taint_a and_o tender_a mind_n a_o great_a amatement_n and_o blunt_v with_o a_o anxious_a disposition_n of_o doubt_n in_o the_o ordinary_a course_n and_o pleasure_n of_o this_o life_n that_o and_o much_o adverse_a accident_n nip_v i_o in_o my_o first_o spring_n otherwise_o in_o all_o probability_n i_o who_o in_o that_o lowness_n and_o oppression_n of_o spirit_n which_o have_v possess_v i_o can_v yet_o so_o bear_v up_o as_o in_o some_o measure_n to_o become_v seek_v and_o respect_v by_o the_o better_a sort_n may_v have_v be_v somewhat_o more_o than_o i_o have_v be_v in_o the_o eminency_n of_o this_o world_n but_o the_o great_a and_o good_a god_n have_v otherwise_o ordain_v nor_o be_o i_o without_o hope_n that_o he_o who_o have_v to_o this_o day_n so_o wonderful_o support_v and_o convert_v i_o will_v thereby_o work_v his_o glory_n and_o my_o good_a it_o be_v true_a that_o my_o course_n have_v be_v most_o improsperous_a yet_o never_o of_o a_o gross_o irrational_a or_o unthrifty_a election_n i_o have_v in_o truth_n be_v so_o far_o from_o humour_v myself_o in_o the_o impulsion_n of_o nature_n or_o most_o delightful_a object_n of_o my_o fancy_n that_o i_o have_v main_o resist_v myself_o therein_o it_o have_v please_v god_n to_o make_v i_o a_o instrument_n of_o cross_v and_o punish_v myself_o in_o whatsoever_o i_o most_o place_v my_o mind_n the_o obstinate_a continuance_n of_o my_o disease_n and_o the_o fail_n of_o those_o who_o i_o have_v trust_v and_o rely_v upon_o have_v abuse_v i_o i_o have_v lose_v much_o
etc._n etc._n and_o some_o by_o the_o very_a distemper_n which_o they_o breed_v a_o burn_a fever_n remedy_n a_o palsy_n and_o ague_n ordinary_o clear_v the_o body_n we_o see_v also_o that_o a_o disorder_a and_o ill_o habituate_v commonwealth_n and_o state_n but_o upon_o extreme_a necessity_n and_o violence_n seldom_o grow_v to_o reformation_n a_o vicious_a and_o deprave_a mind_n correspond_v to_o these_o premise_n as_o well_o in_o disposition_n as_o cure_v till_o extremity_n distemper_n and_o affliction_n work_v upon_o we_o till_o god_n the_o good_a gardener_n of_o our_o soul_n cultivate_v weed_n alter_z and_o subdue_v we_o we_o insist_v in_o our_o corrupt_a natural_n we_o remain_v obstinate_a in_o our_o error_n impatient_a of_o good_a and_o healthful_a counsel_n perverse_a in_o all_o our_o course_n happy_a that_o soil_n body_n state_n and_o soul_n which_o find_v he_o their_o gardener_n physician_n reformer_n and_o gracious_a redeemer_n paradise_n be_v our_o first_o plentiful_a garden_n health_n original_a justice_n and_o integrity_n our_o condition_n till_o he_o renew_v heal_v reform_v sanctify_v and_o reduce_v we_o to_o our_o principle_n and_o perfection_n we_o be_v barren_a to_o goodness_n unsound_a corrupt_a taint_a piece_n persist_v oh_o lord_n in_o such_o thy_o grace_n as_o i_o have_v haply_o find_v towards_o i_o be_v it_o by_o break_v sickness_n confusion_n or_o humiliation_n so_o thou_o make_v i_o good_a and_o make_v i_o thou_o i_o shall_v be_v faithful_o fruitful_a athletical_o vigorous_a prudent_a temperate_a just_a religious_o virtuous_a and_o already_o in_o paradise_n and_o in_o the_o confine_n of_o heaven_n what_o shall_v i_o render_v unto_o thou_o oh_o lord_n for_o the_o incomparable_a influence_n assistance_n and_o sweetness_n of_o thy_o grace_n and_o favour_n towards_o i_o i_o possess_v nothing_o but_o what_o i_o have_v receive_v from_o thou_o nor_o can_v i_o pay_v thou_o but_o with_o thy_o own_o the_o grace_n of_o my_o body_n mind_n and_o fortune_n be_v thy_o alm_n unto_o i_o i_o will_v sacrifice_v unto_o thou_o all_o my_o vain_a and_o worldly_a affection_n and_o even_o that_o be_v my_o great_a game_n the_o unspeakable_a sweetness_n and_o comfort_n of_o thy_o favour_n be_v a_o overflow_a and_o superabounding_a recompense_n unto_o i_o that_o wherein_o thou_o have_v invest_v i_o with_o the_o most_o propriety_n be_v my_o humble_a thanksgiving_n and_o imperfect_a obedience_n nor_o that_o can_v i_o offer_v up_o and_o tender_a unto_o thou_o without_o thy_o gracious_a hand_n raise_v and_o assist_v i_o but_o help_v i_o oh_o lord_n and_o i_o will_v never_o cease_v to_o praise_v and_o endeavour_v to_o obey_v thou_o amen_o amen_n i_o most_o humble_o thank_v thou_o my_o most_o gracious_a god_n that_o my_o trouble_n of_o late_o have_v not_o be_v so_o much_o in_o any_o thing_n sonnet_n as_o in_o a_o labour_a affection_n to_o set_v forth_o the_o greatness_n and_o sweetness_n of_o thy_o mercy_n towards_o i_o thou_o have_v be_v my_o sole_a physic_n and_o physician_n my_o preservative_n cordial_a restorative_n and_o support_v even_o then_o when_o in_o take_v measure_n of_o my_o natural_a strength_n i_o may_v have_v conceive_v it_o impossible_a to_o undergo_v what_o by_o thy_o grace_n i_o have_v perform_v thou_o have_v many_o time_n find_v and_o inspire_v way_n and_o mean_n beyond_o i_o as_o well_o to_o assist_v and_o support_v i_o as_o thou_o have_v former_o do_v to_o humble_v i_o thou_o never_o want_v mean_n melancholy_a confusion_n of_o face_n defection_n of_o the_o eye_n cross_n have_v be_v thy_o instrument_n to_o make_v i_o thou_o i_o be_v a_o house_n build_v for_o pleasure_n but_o thou_o have_v make_v i_o a_o receptacle_n of_o all_o calamity_n i_o be_v not_o that_o crooked_a piece_n of_o knee_n timber_n fit_v for_o distress_n i_o be_v frame_v for_o the_o pacifique_a sea_n but_o thy_o storm_n have_v all_o past_a over_o i_o and_o yet_o by_o thy_o favour_n i_o be_o a_o great_a wonder_n to_o myself_o in_o what_o i_o have_v bear_v then_o be_v that_o cockboat_n which_o safe_o transport_v from_o the_o bermudae_n such_o as_o commit_v themselves_o unto_o it_o free_a spirit_a horse_n do_v often_o brook_v worst_a the_o bit_n and_o curb_n and_o soon_o tire_v themselves_o engage_v to_o a_o moorish_a passage_n when_o a_o fen_n mare_fw-la and_o a_o asinine_a patience_n better_a comply_v and_o extricate_v itself_o no_o sweetness_n be_v comparable_a to_o thy_o grace_n nor_o strength_n to_o that_o which_o thy_o good_a spirit_n give_v natural_o i_o be_o impatient_a to_o tread_v my_o shoe_n awry_o i_o have_v abound_v in_o error_n and_o exorbitancy_n but_o thy_o mercy_n have_v ever_o open_v my_o eye_n and_o recall_v i_o to_o disallow_v they_o and_o at_o last_o to_o detest_v and_o abjure_v they_o it_o have_v be_v else_o too_o hard_o for_o flesh_n and_o blood_n they_o can_v never_o cast_v out_o nor_o cast_v off_o themselves_o as_o thou_o have_v say_v a_o kingdom_n divide_v in_o itself_o can_v subsist_v but_o be_v thou_o with_o we_o and_o nothing_o can_v prevail_v against_o we_o invincible_a be_v that_o body_n that_o mind_n and_o estate_n which_o thou_o assiste_v consilia_fw-la quibus_fw-la impares_fw-la sumus_fw-la fatis_fw-la permittamus_fw-la understanding_n fate_n for_o god_n be_v the_o counsel_n i_o take_v a_o ship_n that_o can_v sail_v must_v drive_v etc._n etc._n my_o gracious_a god_n accept_v i_o most_o humble_o beseech_v thou_o my_o humble_a thanksgiving_n for_o thy_o wonderful_a preservation_n and_o favour_n towards_o i_o and_o particular_o for_o bless_v i_o in_o charitable_a affection_n towards_o other_o as_o well_o as_o reverence_v towards_o thou_o daily_o i_o have_v too_o much_o experience_n of_o the_o little_a good_a that_o the_o best_a preach_v work_n upon_o deprave_a mind_n grant_v that_o i_o may_v not_o offend_v thou_o in_o hurt_v myself_o by_o a_o immoderate_a and_o indiscreet_a affect_v of_o other_o good_a give_v i_o a_o cheerfulness_n without_o oppression_n of_o my_o spirit_n in_o thou_o and_o my_o way_n bless_v the_o sincere_a profession_n and_o professor_n of_o thy_o sacred_a word_n teach_v they_o that_o they_o may_v true_o teach_v thou_o withhold_v they_o from_o mingle_v policy_n and_o self-interest_n with_o thy_o religion_n withhold_v they_o from_o shake_v the_o foundation_n of_o our_o faith_n and_o peace_n of_o thy_o church_n it_o have_v former_o be_v too_o great_a a_o tax_n upon_o our_o nation_n to_o have_v be_v too_o inconstant_a and_o troublesome_a therein_o maintain_v the_o true_a light_n and_o pure_a exercise_n of_o thy_o gospel_n among_o we_o our_o iniquity_n deserve_v the_o punishment_n of_o a_o most_o gross_a relapse_n to_o discover_v and_o escape_v superstition_n and_o idolatry_n but_o of_o thy_o great_a mercy_n give_v we_o true_a wisdom_n and_o repentance_n and_o avert_v thy_o judgement_n one_o pious_a churchman_n be_v soon_o to_o be_v believe_v against_o their_o own_o affect_a authority_n than_o twenty_o for_o their_o usurp_a power_n and_o advantage_n luxation_n in_o religion_n breed_v a_o long_a subsequent_a weakness_n and_o the_o adversary_n of_o our_o religion_n as_o well_o as_o atheist_n take_v too_o great_a advantage_n from_o such_o occasion_n contain_v we_o oh_o lord_n from_o over-prying_a into_o and_o censure_v thy_o secret_a counsel_n predestination_n and_o freewill_n strike_v the_o same_o stroke_n upon_o our_o life_n our_o comfort_n must_v rise_v from_o our_o endeavour_n in_o either_o opinion_n the_o most_o subtle_a writer_n lose_v and_o confound_v themselves_o on_o either_o side_n and_o make_v too_o bold_a in_o conclude_v of_o thou_o by_o our_o blind_a fantastic_a rule_n of_o justice_n thou_o dwell_v in_o the_o cloud_n and_o have_v cast_v a_o mist_n about_o thyself_o which_o our_o frail_a fight_n can_v penetrate_v how_o can_v man_n hope_v to_o understand_v thou_o who_o poor_a finite_a capacity_n can_v so_o much_o as_o in_o his_o imagination_n conceive_v either_o way_n of_o that_o which_o he_o see_v and_o know_v of_o necessity_n must_v be_v either_o so_o or_o so_o as_o for_o instance_n we_o know_v that_o this_o sublime_a candens_fw-la mus_fw-la necessary_o either_o have_v bound_n beyond_o which_o there_o be_v nothing_o or_o else_o go_v infinite_o on_o final_o unbounded_a and_o one_o limit_n still_o succeed_v another_o but_o i_o be_o much_o deceive_v if_o the_o strong_a imagination_n can_v conceive_v either_o way_n though_o one_o be_v most_o necessary_a much_o less_o can_v we_o comprehend_v and_o compass_v the_o essence_n and_o infinity_n of_o god_n obedience_n and_o reverence_n to_o his_o reveal_v will_n and_o not_o a_o overbold_a and_o curious_a search_n belong_v to_o his_o incomprehensible_a majesty_n but_o i_o have_v end_v my_o paper_n and_o almost_o myself_o vouchsafe_v oh_o lord_n to_o give_v i_o modesty_n moderation_n faith_n charity_n and_o conscience_n to_o guide_v my_o way_n and_o guide_v that_o guide_n that_o i_o may_v live_v and_o die_v in_o thy_o truth_n and_o to_o thy_o glory_n
honour_n riches_n pleasure_n sensual_a the_o idol_n which_o the_o world_n do_v most_o adore_v i_o flight_n as_o much_o and_o so_o i_o master_v all_o that_o other_o creep_v to_o nothing_o i_o implore_v lord_n but_o thy_o grace_n in_o that_o more_o pleasure_n rest_v then_o all_o the_o base_a delight_n that_o flesh_n suggest_v imagination_n what_o thou_o can_v produce_v by_o thy_o prolisique_n pregnant_a faculty_n be_v a_o discourse_n as_o subtle_a as_o abstruse_a how_o thy_o own_o species_n thou_o do_v multiply_v in_o what_o great_a distance_n secret_a sympathy_n through_o air_n or_o spirit_n thou_o act'st_a on_o thing_n remote_a i_o can_v say_v with_o perspicuity_n nor_o how_o thy_o impertition_n be_v beget_v distemper_n and_o conceit_n do_v verify_v strong_a fancy_a object_n outward_o appear_v pay_v in_o opticall_a reality_n the_o intromission_n of_o the_o impregnat_fw-la air_n woâ—ke_v then_o my_o faith_n by_o thy_o great_a energy_n faith_n upon_o other_o warm_a with_o charity_n the_o coldness_n of_o the_o time_n to_o fructify_v by_o its_o diffusive_a virtuous_a quality_n rise_v lord_n and_o sympathetical_o incline_v to_o turn_v to_o thou_o thy_o enemy_n and_o i_o knowledge_n be_v sweet_a and_o bitter_a fair_a and_o lame_a a_o great_a impotor_n body_n frame_v of_o air_n a_o chat_a flatter_a and_o self-painted_n dame_n more_o in_o conceit_n then_o real_a beauty_n fair_a how_o just_o can_v i_o raise_v a_o mutiny_n against_o our_o self-deceiving_n till_o i_o find_v our_o error_n be_v not_o worth_a the_o scrutiny_n nor_o truth_n true_a subject_n of_o a_o sensual_a mind_n god_n find_v we_o in_o our_o loss_n and_o self-bred_a storm_n and_o with_o his_o light_n his_o port_n exhibit_v we_o to_o disbryer_n crown_v himself_o with_o thorn_n and_o make_v we_o rich_a in_o ware_n prohibit_v forbear_v believe_v and_o love_n be_v all_o he_o crave_v all_o other_o knowledge_n be_v as_o false_a as_o vain_a we_o fool_n ourselves_o and_o make_v ourselves_o true_a slave_n to_o our_o false_a dotage_n faith_n alone_o be_v gain_v thy_o constant_a love_n oh_o lord_n be_v all_o my_o aim_n all_o other_o affectation_n i_o disclaim_v lord_n i_o desire_v my_o contract_n to_o make_v good_a what_o ever_o befall_v shall_v i_o a_o loser_n prove_v how_o ever_o thing_n pass_v as_o they_o be_v understand_v we_o can_v lose_v if_o we_o can_v say_v we_o love_v though_o as_o we_o fear_v 11._o so_o thou_o shall_v prove_v offend_v though_o vicious_a long_n satisfy_v will_v cure_v though_o i_o can_v seize_v what_o fancy_n ever_o pretend_v yet_o will_v i_o stoop_v to_o nothing_o but_o thy_o lure_n charm_v what_o thou_o can_v false_a world_n deaf_a be_v my_o ear_n thou_o lord_n alone_o can_v fill_v my_o greedy_a heart_n no_o other_o object_n have_v my_o hope_n or_o fear_n nature_n adieu_o for_o i_o will_v live_v by_o art_n lord_n make_v i_o master_n in_o thy_o art_n divine_a that_o this_o world_n sophistry_n i_o may_v elude_v can_v i_o as_o well_o demonstrate_v as_o define_v solve_n as_o distinguish_v vice_n shall_v not_o obtrude_v itself_o for_o virtue_n i_o will_v make_v appear_v the_o height_n of_o pleasure_n be_v thy_o love_n and_o fear_n myself_o convert_v lord_n as_o thou_o have_v will_v other_o i_o will_v confirm_v and_o draw_v to_o thou_o that_o here_o more_o perfect_a though_o not_o yet_o fulfil_v thy_o law_n obedience_n and_o our_o joy_n may_v be_v my_o sin_n and_o suffering_n my_o compassion_n breed_v to_o see_v soul_n not_o malign_v bewitch_v by_o sin_n let_v thy_o wound_n sympathy_n make_v their_o heart_n bleed_v knock_v hard_o o_o lord_n and_o they_o will_v let_v thou_o in_o their_o soul_n have_v cost_v thou_o all_o as_o dear_a as_o i_o vouchsafe_v that_o they_o may_v equal_v favour_n find_v have_v thou_o not_o force_v i_o i_o have_v never_o be_v thou_o open_v their_o eye_n or_o they_o must_v still_o be_v blind_a but_o lord_n thy_o will_n be_v do_v best_a time_n thou_o know_v thy_o justice_n or_o thy_o mercy_n to_o impart_v thou_o ever_o in_o thy_o favour_n overflow_a thy_o justice_n keep_v for_o the_o malicious_a heart_n charity_n bind_v we_o to_o seek_v other_o good_a how_o ever_o thy_o will_n and_o grace_n have_v firm_o stand_v nor_o cynthia_n star_n nor_o rose_n violet_n nightingale_n wren_n nor_o our_o heart-charming_a queen_n can_v so_o surpass_v the_o vulgar_a delicate_n that_o shine_n and_o be_v in_o trivial_a beauty_n see_v as_o do_v thy_o pleasure_n lord_n the_o world_n delight_n which_o seem_v to_o feed_v but_o leave_v we_o hungry_a still_o suggest_v false_a distract_a appetite_n which_o satisfy_v with_o gall_n and_o wind_n do_v fill_v poor_a flatter_a fade_a pleasure_n sweet_a to_o none_o but_o grovel_a palate_n bubble_n of_o the_o mind_n compare_v with_o they_o you_o show_v how_o short_a you_o come_v by_o the_o discountenance_a guilty_a shame_n you_o find_v as_o be_v the_o galaxia_fw-la in_o the_o sky_n a_o light_n from_o many_o hide_a light_n proceed_v such_o constant_a confluence_n of_o joy_n do_v rise_v from_o god_n sweet_a influence_n of_o grace_n succeed_v lord_n guide_v i_o in_o a_o refluence_n to_o thou_o and_o worldly_a affluence_n my_o scorn_n shall_v be_v oh_o lord_n i_o know_v i_o may_v be_v think_v to_o sing_v triumph_n before_o full_a victory_n obtain_v but_o since_o thy_o pardon_n have_v vouchsafe_v to_o bring_v i_o to_o thy_o feast_n of_o conscience_n unstained_a i_o nothing_o doubt_v mercy_n complete_a to_o find_v why_o then_o my_o soul_n be_v thou_o perplex_v still_o steer_v clear_a o_o lord_n and_o pacify_v my_o mind_n since_o thou_o to_o celebrate_v be_v all_o my_o will_n but_o my_o extent_n it_o do_v too_o far_o exceed_v to_o tell_v the_o wonder_n thou_o have_v wrought_v for_o i_o accept_v oh_o lord_n endeavour_n for_o the_o deed_n my_o best_a expression_n must_v come_v short_a of_o thou_o then_o rest_v my_o soul_n repose_v in_o god_n alone_o he_o be_v thy_o countenance_n helper_n and_o thy_o lord_n his_o mercy_n never_o fail_v to_o his_o own_o such_o as_o believe_v and_o trust_v unto_o his_o word_n yet_o lord_n i_o care_v not_o so_o thy_o favour_n last_o though_o taper-like_a i_o spread_v my_o light_n and_o waste_v or_o though_o i_o like_o the_o poor_a flame-courting_a fly_n seek_v thy_o glory_n sing_v my_o wing_n and_o die_v prevail_v thou_o have_v my_o god_n and_o make_v i_o thou_o a_o stubborn_a knotty_a piece_n thou_o have_v i_o prove_v seaventy_n time_n seven_o at_o least_o thou_o do_v refine_v and_o pardon_v i_o by_o thy_o example_n move_v to_o labour_v other_o good_a forgive_v their_o ill_n with_o courage_n and_o with_o love_n invincible_a we_o perish_v lord_n except_o thou_o vanquish_v still_o and_o work_v we_o to_o thy_o will_n reducible_a great_a to_o thy_o rebel_n lord_n be_v thy_o compassion_n which_o do_v to_o we_o part_n in_o thy_o conquest_n yield_v in_o thou_o we_o triumph_v over_o sin_n and_o passion_n and_o chase_v the_o strong_a lust_n out_o of_o the_o field_n some_o live_v in_o sin_n yet_o find_v thy_o grace_n at_o last_o to_o thou_o repentance_n never_o come_v too_o late_o i_o in_o thy_o conflict_n all_o my_o life_n have_v past_a a_o moment_n can_v not_o well_o i_o subjugate_v the_o hard_a conquest_n be_v the_o great_a glory_n it_o be_v not_o the_o course_n but_o end_n that_o crown_v the_o story_n advance_v o_o lord_n thy_o conquest_n still_o in_o i_o that_o i_o may_v find_v sweet_a triumph_n still_o in_o thou_o quarrel_v no_o more_o my_o caâ—ping_a soul_n but_o yield_v yield_v to_o thy_o mighty_a conqueror_n and_o know_v it_o be_v for_o thy_o good_a nature_n have_v lose_v the_o field_n and_o that_o thyself_o thou_o to_o his_o grace_n do_v owe._n thou_o have_v thyself_o enrol_v into_o his_o pay_n nature_n be_v false_a and_o pay_v thou_o in_o base_a coin_n oh_o do_v not_o now_o thyself_o and_o he_o betray_v but_o fight_v against_o his_o enemy_n and_o thou_o undisciplined_a licentious_a be_v thy_o course_n in_o thy_o first_o warfare_n nature_n sting_a want_n and_o empty_a pay_n lead_v thou_o from_o bad_a to_o 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excellent_a statuary_n be_v say_v to_o have_v compose_v such_o a_o minerva_n and_o such_o a_o figure_n of_o himself_o in_o the_o centre_n of_o her_o target_n that_o the_o whole_a work_n bear_v upon_o it_o it_o can_v be_v no_o less_o permanent_a than_o the_o main_a piece_n i_o have_v here_o presume_v to_o place_v you_o as_o a_o precious_a piece_n of_o preservation_n unto_o i_o the_o abridgement_n of_o my_o story_n shall_v now_o follow_v like_o a_o cloudy_a storm_n after_o a_o fair_a sunshine_n that_o i_o have_v be_v most_o unhappy_o miserable_a more_o than_o the_o outward_a face_n of_o nature_n or_o fortune_n discover_v in_o i_o be_v know_v to_o all_o that_o know_v i_o but_o true_a and_o secret_a cause_n be_v so_o obscure_a that_o it_o have_v be_v even_o to_o myself_o a_o most_o intricate_a disquisition_n to_o find_v they_o yet_o beside_o what_o may_v be_v attribute_v to_o the_o star_n fate_n complexion_n and_o a_o overrule_a hand_n as_o in_o former_a paper_n though_o disorderly_a i_o 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be_v
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reason_n often_o put_v our_o reason_n out_o of_o square_a school_n logic_n instruct_v i_o that_o man_n consist_v of_o a_o reasonable_a soul_n and_o i_o believe_v it_o so_o far_o as_o to_o think_v they_o senseless_a poet_n who_o represent_v upon_o the_o stage_n most_o senseless_a and_o ridiculous_a personal_a absurdity_n yet_o such_o and_o worse_o have_v the_o world_n acquaint_v i_o with_o some_o infirmity_n be_v to_o be_v dispense_v other_o not_o i_o worst_a endure_v my_o own_o the_o equal_a balance_n and_o mixture_n of_o many_o disposition_n betwixt_o good_a and_o evil_a hope_v and_o despair_n of_o amendment_n work_v a_o perplexity_n of_o resolution_n to_o conclude_v upon_o they_o how_o far_o to_o go_v on_o or_o where_o to_o leave_v they_o charity_n teach_v to_o presume_v and_o hope_v the_o best_a it_o suffer_v much_o but_o often_o too_o much_o if_o it_o begin_v not_o at_o home_n wisdom_n be_v the_o rule_n of_o rule_n and_o god_n of_o wisdom_n but_o it_o have_v please_v he_o to_o call_v i_o to_o a_o practical_a course_n and_o i_o leave_v to_o write_v whatsoever_o my_o lord_n bacon_n st._n alban_n pronounce_v that_o he_o who_o employ_v his_o mind_n to_o small_a thing_n shall_v not_o be_v fit_a for_o great_a yet_o who_o contemn_v small_a shall_v hardly_o or_o attain_v or_o hope_v the_o great_a atom_n i_o will_v god_n willing_a so_o intend_v the_o great_a as_o not_o to_o neglect_v the_o least_o to_o he_o let_v i_o enjoy_v your_o prayer_n in_o he_o your_o affection_n as_o you_o shall_v i_o for_o you_o and_o all_o good_a man_n farewell_n march_v the_o 19_o 1638._o charity_n think_v this_o morning_n of_o worldly_a power_n and_o pleasure_n and_o of_o the_o pleasure_n of_o power_n i_o take_v into_o consideration_n what_o proportion_n be_v conducible_a and_o necessary_a to_o a_o happy_a condition_n and_o grow_v to_o state_n every_o man_n in_o a_o natural_a and_o just_a dimension_n of_o his_o proper_a quality_n for_o a_o man_n to_o have_v a_o grant_n of_o or_o to_o 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