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A26843 The poets knavery discouered, in all their lying pamphlets wittily and very ingeniously composed, laying open the names of every lying lybel that was printed last yeare, and the authors who made them, being above three hundred lyes : shewing how impudently the poets have not onely presumed to make extream and incredible lyes, but dare also feigne false orders and proceedings from the Parliament with many fictitious speeches : well worth the reading and knowing of everyone that they may learn how to distinguish betwixt the lyes and reall books / written by J.B. J. B.; Bond, John, 1612-1676. 1642 (1642) Wing B117; ESTC R18881 2,827 8

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THE POETS Knavery Discouered in all their lying PAMPHLETS Wittily and very Ingeniously Composed laying open the Names of every lying Lybel that was Printed last yeare and the Authors who made them being above three Hundred Lyes Shewing how impudently the Poets have not onely presumed to make extream and incredible Lyes but dare also feigne false Orders and Proceedings from the Parliament with many fictitious Speeches Well worth the Reading and knowing of every one that they may learn how to distinguish betwixt the Lyes and reall Books Written by J. B. LONDON Printed for T. H. An Order from the House of Commons for the suppressing of Pamphlets THe Parliament haveing maturely considered of the manifold lyes and ementitious Pamphlets that have beene published to the great ignominy and dishonour of the State did appoint a select Committee for the restraint of all Libells And ordered that all lying Pamphlets should be suppressed and nothing Printed without Licence The temporizing Poets have broached such impudent scurrility and ementitious Pamphlets out of the inexhaust mintage of their roving fancies that the whole City is embroydred with nothing but incredible lyes that jars so much in the wearied eares of the World that the scarce-breathing mandrake could not digest the same These Needy-braines to purchase some commodious vailes from the foamy vapour of a scurrilous humour did strive to set their unconcocted wits to the highest pin that lying and Non-sence were the two coincedant twins that alway distilled from the nasty dregs of their Satyricall quills One of these Poeticall Satyres though he was a Night-Walker and in nocturnall darknesse * once escaped the Counter and another time Newgate yet he was the Arch-conduct of their harsh-tuned Chorus another did Bray like an Asse and became his Secondary and although he yeelded the precedency to the former for he * was the most lying knave yet he was not so nihilate a Cypher but that he challenged the second place in an Arithmeticall * order to himselfe Another Harberd his froathy Muse in the Rheumaticke exhalations of muddy taplash which made his fancy so extreamly dull that when he writ any thing every What lack you Sir or Stationers Apprentice could conceive it to be Harberts Lye Thus these three like Triple-headed Cerberus nursed their viperous muses in Acharon and fomented them in Stygian gall greedily byting the fame of every Delinquent whom they will not permit onely to suffer quietly Parliamentary Justice but they also will nettle them afresh with their goosequil censure Since the Earle of Straffords death there have been above three hundred lying Pamphlets printed to my credible enumeration First then the Lord Lievtenants Speech * fabulously fathred upon him in the Tower but protested against by such eminent Persons as accompanied him some time before his execution his Vltimum Vale his pittifull Elegies fathred upon himselfe his amorous Re-greet to Cloriuda his Ghost suppositions Dialogue betwixt him and the Lords Grace of Canterbury Canterburys Dreame Lambeth Faire where such rascally stuffe is imployed to the consumption of paper as the perusall of it would make an Horse breake his halter as is vulgarly said with his Recantation penned by an Amsterdamian pedant his Potion lately ministred by an Antimonian Empyrick with his Tooles composed by a company of fooles and his Last Will and Testament To see the Metropolitan of a flourishing State thus opprobiously abused is an insufferable thing and ought not to be tollerated yet if he be culpable peccant the Law is sufficient to curb him he ought to suffer according to its censure but to see his grave made before his eys with lying libels or to encounter with such extreams as the blasting tongue of infamy is an act of higher suffering then the just censure of Law may permit Then many other of the Clergy have beene most ignominiously abused as in the Articles against D. Beale and D. Cosins and M. Squire of Shorditch they were all Poetically feigned and ementitious wherein they were highly impeached as if the Articles had beene presented to the Parliament when they were meere fictitious the Dialogue betwixt D. Cousins and a Fellow of his Colledge The Coppy of a Letter sent from the Lord Finch to him Newes from Sir John Sucklin Foure Letters sent from the Scottish Commissioners to the Parliament in England Mr. Seakers Speech to the King at His Royall Arivall in Scotland and His Majesties Answere to the same were all most shamefully feigned Which did not onely Derogate from his Imperiall sufficiency but was also a high dishonour to his Majestie The Lord Balberino's Speech The Marquesse of Hameltons and Generall Lashley's Speech in the Scottish Parliament with the Dukes of Lenox were all fictitiou● and fabulous And diverse Pamphlets published concerning some trecherie that was there found out were all lyes Then Sir William Parkins and Sir Nathaniell Coppingers Speeches In this Parliament with three other very false A Gunpowder and a Wildfire Plot in Ireland were Poeticall Irelands Complaint and Petition were both false Yea there are so many lyes concerning Ireland Printed that my Paper would be to little to describe them all they amount to 37. more lyes in Totall Dolesull Newes from Edenborough since his Majesties departure from thence News from Newcastle Durham and Constantinople were all lyes A Dialogue betwixt the King of France and Spaine with the French and Spanish Fleet arrived at Ireland were both false The Scottish Volunteeres Victorie and a glorious overthrow of the Rebells by the Scots with Sir Kenelme Digby's Victory were all fabulous Fourteene Orders from the House of Commons were shamefull lyes the Parliaments Care for the Tower were false A terrible Plot against London and Westminster with the Twelve Bishops conspiracy in the Tower were not true The Papists Plot against the City The Jesuites Plot against the Parliament and their confession before they were carryed to Tyburne were ementitious Suffolke Norfolke Huntington-shire S●me●set-shire and the first of Hartfordshire Petition were all ●bsurd f 〈…〉 the first of the Apprentices of London and Womens Petition were false The Coblers end or his last Sermon and the Leathersellers and Button-makers Sermons were all fictitious The Parliaments Answer to Buckinghamshire Petition Newes from Hell Rome and the Inns of Court The Papists Petition to the Pope Lunsfords Letters found one at Temple B●rre and another in St. Pauls Church were both feigned Yea if I should enumerare every particular lye I should both trespasse too farre on gentle Reader your patience and loose my selfe in the irremiable Laborinth of those inumerous fictions neither could this Paper containe them all but as I aforesaid they amount in all to the number of above three hundred Now I can accuse none but these temporizing Pamphlet-mongers who for a little mercenary gaine and profit infused plenty of Gall and Wormewood into their lying and Satyricall lines What a base humour is this in you Poeticall Needy-braines who for a sordid gaine or desire to have the Style of a witty Raylor will thus impoyson your pen and puzzle your sterile pates inventing such sencelesse stigmatick ballad Balderdash as our very Street-Cantors who would warble pleasantly through thr nose like an Amsterdam Zelot at the insurrection of the flesh against the Spirit for a Pot of Huffes Ale and a huge Subsidy toast shrug to heare it and with an honest scorne hout at it Oh what a lamentable thing it is to suffer the sentence of such penurious pennilesse wits who wholly resolve their inke to gall for a little mercenary gaine or to purchase a paire of decayed Trouzes at the second hand to cover their nakednesse whose lying Libels are woven up in braine-sick fancies Well! Poets draw submissively nearer and with an humble attentive eare attend the delivery of my definite advice unto you Be Penitentiall and give a serious recantation to the world for all your lying Pamphlets and confesse all your infamous abuses to the State yee had better I say confesse so then at the Gall-house this is my advice which if you will embrace I know it would give more satisfaction to the Spectacle of the World FINIS * A Poet * Another Poet * Another Poet * The names of the lying pamphlets