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A78590 The character of an Oxford-incendiary. 1645 (1645) Wing C2014; Thomason E279_6; ESTC R200029 7,475 8

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THE CHARACTER OF AN Oxford-Incendiary AN Oxford Incendiary is a Court Salamander whose proper element is Fire An English-man yet lives by Antiperistasis to his native Climate and turnes our Northern-temperate into the Torrid Zone All ancient Philosophers are by him confuted having made one Region more of Fire than they dream't of Nor is it any wonder seeing he creates new Prodigies every day I suppose him lineally descended from St. Georges Fiery Dragon And if you please to enquire of Doctor Heylyn he may chance to make good the Heraldry But whosoever was the Sire mother he hath none that I can heare of nor do I beleeve that Nature our common-mother will own the Monster For his Name you may if you please make bold with Ovid and call him Phaeton for he rules the Chariot of the Sun and having gotten the Reines in his own hand hurries all into Combustion yet the desperate wretch cares not so he may work a Metamorphosis upon the Nation or mingle his own with the Kingdomes Ashes His Birth place I take to be Mount Aetna there Empedocles acted the Man-midwife and deliver'd him out at the Tonnels If the Pope want a Leiger for Purgatory none can fit him better he being of a Constitution and Religion suitable to the Service But his employment must be altogether at home else the Deluded Fraternity will grow chill in their designes here and to them there 's no Sport without a Fire-drake or an Ignis Fatuus To be a little more plain an Oxford-Incendiary is the excrement of ill-govern'd Monarchy the vast volume of Treason wrap't up in an Epitome one that feeds the Vulture Prerogative with the Carkasse of the Common-wealth that it may disgorge into his own Coffers and makes a Mule to say no worse of Majesty to carry him through all his own private designes against the Publick Yet notwithstanding his proper Spheare is the Court there He shines a bright Constellation of Royall Favour though the whole Kingdome beside takes him for a Prodigious Comet and behold him with the same countenance as they did that in the yeare 1618. Nor is it without reason when the meanest Prognosticator cries that he portends the ruine of some great Princes Upon his Influence depends the Almanack of Treason exactly Calculated for the severall Meridians of England Scotland France and Ireland for from thence you may judge of all Eclypses between King and Parliament or tell what weather will be in Great Britain the whole year following Thus Jupiter and Mars meeting in Conjunction at York with a direfull Aspect threatned misery to the Nation though it produced no effect till an Interposition of Malignants at Shrewsbury and an oblique Course of Venus from Holland bade us expect a Deluge of blood Indeed it may serve for Great Britain and Ireland with very little or no difference for the Tragedy and Actors are the same only the Scenes are severall the better to dresse out the Plot and make it seeme more intricate Thus the rare Irish Commission was begotten of English parents when the Earle of Antrim was made a God-father to the designe though Ormond had rather forfeit his Honour and Conscience than say they were English Hands which cut the Protestants throats with an Irish knife But this is not all the train of Gun-powder reaches to Scotland and there they light Matches to blow up the fidelity of that Nation Which not taking effect upon the Heads then Squib-cracks are tyed to the very Breech of Thule to set fire on the High-land Wildernesse for in such barren places is their Harvests Rare Vipers who thrive best out of the Sun-shine in the darke Caves of Barbarisme and Ignorance But stand off or provide an Antidote The most prodigious Serpent comes crawling this way some monstrous African or American for sure it is not of the British Broad yet every Cavalier carries it in his bosome like a Tame-Snake It is the Commission of Array a very flying Dragon hatch't in a Conventicle of Spit-fires an illegitimate By-blow to supplant the Militia It was spawned at White-Hall there the Cock-brain'd Crew engendred with their Masters Female understanding At York it became an Egge O that it had then been crush't But afterwards scarce pen-feather'd it ventur'd a flight toward Hull yet fell short and was sore bruised Notwithstanding this it crept to Nottingham and there in hope of recovery voyded a Standard with a Declaration or two evident Symptomes of a Bloody Flux at hand But the Leeches not able to draw blood there betook themselves westward toward Wales and there fell to sucking at the ●●ther Posterne of the Kingdome It was time then to cast the water of the State and purge out the ●●●●ments of the Body Politique Now the Gaine begins Roome for the Roman Actors Here the Bishops wrack themselves in a Pulpit vomiting up Daggers like Hocus to amaze the People doctrine Cannon-proofe and let the Devill make Application so he can convert all to his Majesties use If the Pope be Commander in Chiefe it is but reason they should be Major-Generals and for Inferiour Officers Deanes and Arch-deacons the only Colonels Prebends Lieutenant-Colonels Big-bellied Parsons Majors Vicars Captains Curates Eusignes And for the rest they cannot be wanting when there are whole Swarmes of the same Breed of Caterpill●rs in both Vniversities These are Spaniels to the Incendiary in hope of Preferment He leads them in Couples breeds them to fetch and carry after his own humour and to be at the word of Command But the sport is to see a Dogge handle a Drum-stick yet these docile creatures will do it and beat up their Drums in all Churches and Chappels to alarme the People against Reformation and the Parliament This black Brigade are of the same linage with the Incendiary he hugs them as his white-Boyes And to say the Truth there is not a hair● difference between them the Chiefe of the Prelaticall Clergie being the principall if not the only Fire-men And therefore it cannot be amisse to present them in the first Rank of Tragedians seeing our Scene is the precious Vniversity of Oxford As the Prologue before the Play enter Canterbury the Pope's Pigmie-Champion the meritorious Traytor the Catholique Demi-Calvering the reverend Granado who lived to set all on sire yet escap't the Martyrdom of hanging to be quench't upon a Scaffold whereas the other kind of death had been more suitable to his Life having alwayes been a Pendant in the eare of Majesty This is he that took water lately at the Tower being bound for the Red Sea but that for his presumption in comparing himself with Christ and His Apostles and threatning Charon with the Star-chamber he o're turn'd the Ferry-boat and let him drop into Purgatory Thus it is to quarrell with a Water-man A Broome a Broome Sweep the Stage Here comes Religion in Slip-shooes and Sandals Mistris Novelties Gentleman-Usher clad in Robes of Antiquity the Bel-man of the Jewish Temple Aaron