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A75305 Amsterdam and her other Hollander sisters put out to sea, by Van Trump, Van Dunck, & Van Dumpe. Or, A true description of those so called Hoghens Mogens, set out to the life, with the manners of their quagmire bog, and other speciall varieties touching their unmannerly manners, and base ingratitude to our English nation, from their shels of beggery to their now present pride. Penn'd to give our nation timely notice of their subtile frauds and delusions. 1652 (1652) Wing A3029; Thomason E670_5; ESTC R16141 6,218 11

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their Protector yet the Isle of Rees and other places of France then in war with England were supplyed with new vessels and old Brand wine men from Euchuysen Vu●shing and Rotterdam yes and were furnished with stout gallant Ships called prophanely Father Son and Holy Ghost we protected them and they protected France our Enemies and sent Ammunition to shoot Bullets into our hearts and yet were reputed Protestanten and what cared they so their Divels nest their Cantore might be full they have tamper'd about a Countrey called the Pallatinate they regard friends no better then foes nay Enemies better then friends if they can get monies by them 12. Their unnaturall Cruelty VVHere they have either opportunity or hearts to show it they deal with their best friends as they do with their Sallads when they are ripe cut them to pieces and devoure them witnesse that bloudy and unparalel'd Burchery of the English at Amboyn in the East Indies where their torments upon the brave English did exceed those of Pizzarro or any other Spaniard in the West Indies and cannot be equal'd but by Divels or themselves where they have not used it it has not been for want of Will but Power they are like Butchers they buy fat Oxen not to keep them but kill them they know not what true valour is and to speak truly no such Tyrants as Cowards when they can get the Mastery I would have them dealt withall as Stags or such other Creatures cowardly of nature and yet revengefull to follow with a pack of lusty barking and biting hounds good brasse Cannon in our stout ships they are at present on tip-toe if well set to they 'le quickly alter that posture to the heele they never fight upon equality and do not so properly slay as murther whom they suspect they love a Knife better then a Sword and to stob privily then to fight openly let England look well to them for if they become Masters 't is sure we shall be made slaves or Butcher'd out-right they are to be kept like Horses not pamperd for feare of kicking or casting their Masters a good Bitt in their mouths and a whip in our hands is the only way to curb and awe such pamper'd Jades if you ride them you may rule them if they rule you they 'le be sure to ruine you we need not fear their courage but their cowardly cruelty One step further and so I leave you 13. Their Incivility OR indeed heathenish behaviour Queen ELIZABETH said that there was not a true bred Gentleman amongst them but one and that was Myn Heere Van Dort but he 's dead long ago and surely died without Heirs or any kindred for Boren there are in every place and Boreneke and these the Kindern Maercht You cannot torment them worse than to put off your hatt or congy or Complement for they 'l only afford you a blockish nod with lough myn heere one Complement serves their whole Countrey how i st myn heere belching gaping or farting is their Countrey fashion at Dinner or Supper they rise pisse and come to fill their bellies washing their hands or their faces is rare except they come under a Barber and that perhaps may be after a halfe years Voyage and it 's a trouble to them were it not for their Wives they would smell as strong as Jewes they 'l take all is given them but for thanks you may have a fart they are silent amongst strangers but 't is for feare if they should speak they should only be laugh'd at ERASMUS their own Countrey-man sets them forth to the life I am weary of them and I 'le so leave them Only this for Conclusion you may as well get a Wild Boar into a Dublet as to make one of those Borish Dutchmen to button his Dublet FINIS
other together by the ears but do nothing themselves if he runs not too far you may see him come in when all 's done to pillage not fight 7. They want hearts but have crafty heads BUt though they want hearts yet they have crafty heads dull to apprehend but subtile to execute their covetous craftinesse and crafty covetousnesse do exceed the Lombard Masters though they be Jewes their whole trading is but defrauding you may live 20. years there and yet never see any English Silver or Gold except your selfe changes it and then you may bid it farwell for ever seeing it again their practice in the East and West Indies and in the South Seas is to decry and frustrate any other Nation or Commodities to enhance themselves and their own when Wars was betwixt England and Spain many of our Colliers from Newcastle came short home the Dunkerkers bore the fault but 't is too much suspected the Hollander did the mischiefe witnesse also their planting in our Fens and Marshes and their Herring fishing full of subtilty deceit and covetousnesse like Spunges suck in but part with nothing except squeezed from them the Nation hath been the Horse-Leaches of Europe and are the very Mountebankes to cry up themselves and despise all others Next follows 8. Their Vnjustice and Ingratitude THey should be thankfull at least to them who saved their Country their lives Wives and Children too But to kill them and shoot bullets into their brests is unheard off and unparalleld unjustice this hath been their practice As Vipers eat out their Mothers bowels so do these had England left them or let them lye open they had not had a Sluce to shut up for ere this time their best Town to put into had been Dam or Scichterdam for as for Minichedam they could not have dared to hold it when the Spanyard had the power of their Wives and their lives too they deale with England as the Lawyer did with two men about the Oyster eat out the meat and gave them the shell we may say of their Courtesie as 't is in the Proverb save a Thiefe from the Gallows and hee 'l be the first to help to hang him 9. Their busie medling OR to use their owne words their interloping into the affairs of other states as though all other Nations were dying and had made these their Overseers they are the only Medlars and to be sure they are best when they be rotten at their first rising they could not say they kept correspondency with other Princes for none would own them for then they were poor Petitioners thought now they would be Masters over all at their first crawling and spawning they had only their Agenten but now having suck'd wealth and strength by the forbearance and indulgence of their betters timely to tutor them they send forth their Factors for Embassadors they have rumor'd the four parts of the world with their pragmaticall Intelligencers and they who had scarce a home to hide their heads in will not now be kept at home they are like cunning Mountebanks who find out others diseases by tampering with their distemper'd pulses and having let them bloud care not how soon they die if they hear of an Ulcer in any State or Kingdome they care not to cure it but to procure it they are the very Glysters of the World which if you let into the bowels they 'l not leave tumbling and rumbling till you must be forc'd to shite them out and then you shall smell these busie bold intruders their Countrey is but a stinking house of Office into which you may go but if you stay too long you 're sure to be strip'd or stifled They are like Black-soap whick though laid under you yet in short time by warmeth and heat will froath and foam above you you cannot step into any Princes Court though it should be to the titular King of Scots if he have any or to the black Aranokin or to RUPERTS Starting holes but these busie Wasps and Hornets called Hollanders will with their Braggadotia's And how i st myn heere be found there and tell lies as big as Elephants not to honour our Nation but to ruine it which they have long gaped after but as yet happily have miss'd We must not let them into our very tails our Fens Marshes Creeks or Harbours though VAN TRUMP aims at it for they stink where they go in plain terms they have medled so far that we hope they can interveer no further 10. Their Prophannesse THey pretend to their Beeden-Dagen their Fast-daies and Sabboath keeping but however they will not forgoe the keeping of their Carmishen that is their drunken Fairs though in Sermon-time upon those very daies when they meet their zeal is more upon their Brand-wine than upon their Doome of Utrecht or their neat Church of Tergo they●l swear Godts Sacramenten and by 10000. Tun of Divelen that Gods word is heele goodt and seer Vraectick yet they must not they say trust onely unto that or alwayes be at prayers in their Cups they neither fear damning nor doubt it if HENRICK VAN DUNNS and CORNELIUS VAN DER DOLTEN and Captain JORIS SUNDER BROECKEN with that extravagant Myn heere Van de Boors Schancen meet as they usually do with the stout Beer of the swaet perdt or black Horse of Rotterdam 't is not four Brigad's of Divels nor four Regiments of Spaniards whom they fear as bad as Divels nor yet a double Jury of their Elders though they shew a Geneva Commission can rouse or remove them then Broders ought Sistern oft Kindern oft Diabolos are all alike for Heaven there is so much holinesse there that they say there 's no hopes nor need of their Company for Hell they know most of their Countrey men live and love to live in such low places and therefore they had rather be there with their acquaintance and Ancestors then to strive to go thither where they doubt both acquaintance and entertainment Let their Preachers say what they will these will do what they list they are hardly got to Church and are glad when t is done for as they go out you shall hear them usually swear and curse 11. Their Time-serving FOr the advancement whereof they have neither wanted opportunity or Machivilian policy they have been such Staten Heeren that if some other States had not been as wise as they have been subtle and knavish we should scarce have known what a clock it had been in England how have they for many years deluded the French Italian Genoways Venetians Wallons Switzers Irish Friezlanders Highlanders nay have suck'd advantages and gull'd even the great Mogull the Turks Persians Indians Tartars Muscovites Russians Prussians Polanders Norwegians Sweeds Danes Germanes Vandelopians North Indians or South-landers Guineans Diabolands Calecutians nay their old enemies the Spaniolos and who sooner Cajold with the Portugals then these flegmatick Dutch who knowes not that though King JAMES of England was