kindnesse to the Marshall generall of the field certefide him that such a man was lately fled to the enemie and gotte his place bedgd for another immediatly What because of him after you shall heare To the enemie he went and offered his seruice railing egregiously on the king of England he swore as he was a Gentleman and a souldier hee would bee reuenged on him and let but the king of France follow his counsell hee woulde driue him from Turwin wals yet ere ten dayes to an end All these were good humours but the eragedie followeth The French king hearing of such a prating fellow that was come was desirous to sée him but yet he feared treason wherfore he wild one of his minions to take vpon his person and he would stand by as a priuate man whilest hee was txamined Why should I vse anie idle delayes In was Captaine Gogges wounds brought after he was throughly searched not a louse in his doublet was let passe but was askt Queuela and chargd to stand in the kings name the mouldes of his buttons they turnd out to sée if they were not bullettes couered ouer with thread the codpéece in his deuills bréeches for they were then in fashion they sayd playnly was a case for a pistoll if hée had had euer a hovnaile in his shooes it had hangde him he shuld neuer haue knowen who had harmd him but as lucke was he had not a mite of anie mettal about him be tooke part with none of the foure ages neither the golden age the siluer age the brasen nor the yron age onely his purse was aged in emptinesse and I thinke verily a puritane for it kept it selfe from anie pollution of crosses Standing before the supposed king he was askt what he was and wherefore became To the which in a glorious bragging humour be aunswered that hée was a gentleman a captaine commander a chiefe leader that came a way from the king of England vppon discontentment Questiond particular of the cause of his discontentment hee had not a word to blesse himself with yet faine he would haue patcht out a polt-foote tale but God he knowes it had not one true legge to stand on Then began he to smell on the villaine so rammishly that none there but was readie to rent him in péeces yet the minion king kept in his cholar and propounded vnto him farther what of the king of Englands secrets so aduantageable he was priuie to as might remoue him from the flage of Turwin in thrée daies Hee sayde diuerse diuerse matters which askt longer conference but in good honestie they were lies which he had not yet stampt Héereat the true king stept forth and commanded to lay handes on the lozell and that he should be tortured to confesse the truth for he was aspie and nothing else He no sooner sawe the whéele and the torments set before him but he cride out like a rascall and sayde hee was a poore Captaine in the English camp suborned by one Iacke Wilton a noble mans page and no other to come and kill the French king in a brauery and returne and that he had no other intention in the world This confession could not choose but moue them all to laughter in that he made it as light a matter to kill their king and come backe as to goe to Islington and eate a messe of creame and come home againe nay and besides hee protested that he had no other intention as if that were not inough to hang him Adam neuer fell till God made fooles all this coulde not kéepe his ioyntes from ransacking on the whéele for they vowed either to make him a confessor or a martir in a trice when still he sung all one song they tolde the king he was a foole and some shrewd head had knauishly wrought on him wherefore it should stand with his honour to whip him out of the campe and send him home That perswasion tooke place and soundly was he lasht out of theyr liberties and sent home by a Heralde with this message that so the king his master hoped to whip home all the English fooles verie shortly answere was returned that that shortlie was a long lie and they were shrewde fooles that shoulde driue the French man out of his kingdome and make him glad with Corinthian Dionisius to play the schoole-master The Herald being dismist our afflicted intelligencer was cald coram nobis how he spedde iudge you but something heâ— was adiudged to The sparowe for his lecherie liueth but a yéere â—e for his trecherie was turnd on the toe Plura dolor prohibet Here let me triumph a while and ruminate a line or two on the excellence of my wit but I will not breath neither til I haue diffraughted all my knauerie Another Swizer Captaine that was farre gone for want of the wench I lead astraie most notoriously for he béeing a monstrous vnthrift of battle axes as one that cared not in his anger to bid flie out scuttels to flâ—e score of them and a notable emboweller of quart pots I came disguised vnto him in the forme of a halfe a crowne wench my gowne and attire according to the custome theÌ„ in request I wis I had my curâ—esses in cue or in quart pot rather for they drild into the very entrailes of the dust and I simpered with my countenance lyke a porredge pot on the fire when it first begins to séeth The sobrietie of the circumstance is that after he had courted me and all and giuen me the earnest pennie of impietie some sixe crownes at the least for an antipast to iniquitie I fained an impregnable excuse to be gone and neuer came at him after Yet left I not here but committed a little more scutcherie A companie of coystrell clarkes who were in hand with sathan and not of anie souldiers colour pincht a number of good mindes to Godward of theyr pronant They would not let a dram of dead pay ouerslip them they would not lend a groat of the wéeke to come to him that had spent his money before this wéeke was done They out-faced the greatest and most magnanimious seruitours in their sincere and â—inigraphicall cleane shirts and cuffeâ— A lowse that was anie Gentlemans companion they thought scorne of their nere bitten beardes must in a deuils name be dewd euerie daie with rose water hogges could haue nere a hayre on theyr backes for making them rubbing brushes to rouse theyr crab lice They woulde in no wise permitte that the mâ—ates in the Sunne-beames should be full mouthde beholders of they cleane phiniâ—iâ—e apparell theyr shooes shined as bright as a slike-stone theyr handes troubled and foyled more water with washing than the caâ—uell doth that nere drinkes till the whole streame bee troubled Summarily neuer anie were so fantastical the one halfe as they My masters you may conceiue of me what you list but I thinke confidently I was ordayned Gods scourge from aboue for theyr daintie
immediately you will imagine it is predestinate for your destruction This murder is a house deuided within it selfe it subornes a mans owne soule to informe against him his soule beeing his accuser brings foorth his two eyes as witnesses agaynst him and the least eye witnesse is vnrefutable Plucke out my eyes if thou wilt and depriue my trayterous soule of her two best witnesses Digge out my blasphemous tongue with thy dagger both tongue and eyes will I gladly forgoe to haue a little more time to thinke on my iourney to heauen Deferre a while thy resolution I am not at peace with the wâ—rld for euen but yesterdaye I sought and in my surie threatened further vengeaunce had I face to face aske forgiuenesse I should thinke halfe my sinnes were forgiuen A hundred Diuells haunt mee daily for my horrible murders the diuells when I dye will be loath to goe to hell with mee for they desir'd of Christ he would not send them to hell before their time if they goe not to hell into thee they will goe and hideously vexe thée for turning them out of their habitation Wounds I contemne life I prize light it is another worlds tranquilitie which makes me so timerous euerlasting damnation euerlasting howling and lamentation It is not from death I request thee to deliuer me but from this terror of torments eternitie Thy brothers bodie onely I pierst vnaduisedly his soule meant I no harme too at all my bodie soule both shalt thou cast awaye quite if thou doost at this instant what thou maist Spare me spare me I beseech thée by thy owne soules saluation I desire thee seeke not my soules vtter perdition in destroying me thou destroyest thy selfe and me Eagerly I replide after his long suppliant oration Though I knewe God would neuer haue mercie on mée except I had mercie on thée yet of thée no mercie would I haue Reuenge in our tragedies continually is raised from hell of hell doo I estéeme better than heauen if it affoord me reuenge There is no heauen but reuenge I tell thée I would not haue vndertooke so much toyle to gaine heauen as I haue done in pursuing thée for reuenge Diuine reuenge of which as of the ioies aboue there is no fulnes or satietie Looke how my féete are blistered with following thée from place to place I haue riuen my throat with ouerstraining it to curse thée I haue grownd my téeth to pouder with grating and grinding them together for anger when anie hath nam'd thée My tongue with vaine threates is bolne and waxen too big for my mouth My eies haue broken their strings with staring and looking ghastly as I stood deuising how to frame or set my countenance when I met thée I haue nere spent my strength in imaginarie acting on stone wals what I determined to execute on thée Entreate not a miracle maye not repriue thée villaine thus march I with my blade into thy bowels Stay stay exclaimed Esdras and heare mee but one word further Though neither for God nor man thou carest but placest thy whole felicitie in murder yet of thy felicitie learne how to make a greater felicitie Respite me a little from thy swords poynt and set mee about some execrable enterprise that may subuert the whole state of Christendome and make all mens eares tingle that heare of it Commaund me to cut all my kindreds throates to burne men women and children in their beds in millions by firing their Cities at midnight Be it Pope Emperour or Turke that displeaseth thée he shal not breath on the earth For thy sake will I sweare and forsweare renounce my baptisme and all the interest I haue in any other sacrament Onely let me liue how miserable soeuer be it in a dungeon amongst toades serpents and adders or set vp to the necke in dung No paines I will refuse how euer proroged to haue a little respite to purifie my spirit oh heare me heare me and thou canst not be hardned against me At this his importunitie I paused a little not as retyring from my wreakful resolution but going back to gather more forces of vengeance With my selfe I deuised how to plague him double for his base minde My thoughts traueld in quest of some notable newe Italionisme whose murdrous platforme might not onely extend on his bodie but his soule also The ground worke of it was this That whereas he had promised for my sake to sweare and forsweare and commit Iulian-like violence on the highest seales of religion if he would but thus farre satisfie me he should bee dismist from my furie First and formost he should renounce God and his lawes and vtterly disclaime the whole title or interest he had in anie couenaunt of saluation Next he should curse him to his face as Iob was willed by his wife and write an absolute firme obligation of his soule to the diuell without condition or exception Thirdly and lastly hauing done this hee should praye to God feruently neuer to haue mercie vppon him or pardon him Scarce had I propounded these articles vnto him but he was beginning his blasphemous abiurations I wonder the earth opened not and swallowed vs both hearing the bold tearmes he blasted forth in contempt of Christianitie Heauen hath thundred when halfe lesse contumelies against it haue béen vttered Able they were to raise Saints and Martirs from their graues and plucke Christ himselfe from the right hand of his father My ioints trembled quakt with attending them my haire stood vpright my hart was turned wholly to fire So affectionately and zealously did hee giue himself ouer to infidelitie as if sathan had gotten the vpper hand of our high Maker The veyne in his left hand that is deriued from his heart with no faint blow he pierst with the bloud that flowd from it writ a ful obligation of his soule to the diuell yea more earnestly he praid vnto God neuer to forgiue it his soule than manie Christians doo to saue theyr soules These fearfull ceremonies brought to an end I bad him ope his mouth and gape wide He did so as what wil not slaues doo for feare Therwith made I no more adoo but shot him ful into the throat with my pistol no more spake he after so did I shoote him that hee might neuer speak after or repent him His body being dead lookd as blacke as a toad the diuell presently branded it for his owne This is the fault that hath called me hether No true Italian but will honor me for it Reuenge is the glory of Armes and the highest performance of valure reuenge is whatsoeuer wee call law or iustice The farther we wade in reuenge the nerer come we to the throne of the Almightie To his scepter it is properly ascribed his scepter he lends vnto man when he lets one man scourge another All true Italians imitate mee in reuenging constantly and dying valiantly Hangman to thy taske for I am readie for the vtmost of thy rigor Herewith all the people outragiously incensed with one conioyned out-crye yelled mainely Away with him away with him Executioner torture him teare him or we will teare thée in péeces if thou spare him The executioner néeded no exhortation herevnto for of his owne nature was he hackster good enough olde excellent hee was at a bone-ache At the first chop with his wood-knife would he fish for a mans heart and fetch it out as easily as a plum from the bottome of a porredge pot Hee would cracke neckes as fast as a cooke crackes egges a fidler cannot turne his pin so soone as he would turn a man of the ladder Brauely did hee drum on this Cutwolfes bones not breaking them outright but like a sadler knocking in of tackes tarring on them quaueringly with his hammer a great while together No ioynt about him but with a hatchet he had for the nonce he dissoynted halfe and then with boyling lead souldred vp the wounds from bléeding His tongue he puld out least he should blaspheme in his torment venomous slinging wormes hee thrust into his eares to kéep his head rauingly occupied with cankers scruzed to péeces hee rubd his mouth and his gums No lâ—m of his but was lingringly splinterd in shiuers In this horror left they him on the whéele as in hel where yet liuing hee might behold his flesh legacied amongst the soules of the aire Unsearchable is the booke of our destenies One murder begetteth another was neuer yet bloud-shed barrain from the beginning of the world to this day Mortifiedly abiected and danted was I with this trunculent tragedie of Cutwolfe and Esdras To such straight life did it thence forward incite me that ere I went out of Bolognia I married my curtizane periormed manie almes deedes and hasted so fast cut of the Sodom of Italy that within fortie daies I arriued at the King of Englands Campe twixt Ardes and Guines in France where he with great triumphes met and entertained the Emperour and the French King and feasted manie dayes And so as my Storie began with the King at Turnay and Turwin I thinke méete heere to end it with the King at Ardes Guines All the conclusiue Epilogue I will make is this that if herein I haue pleased any it shall animate me to more paynes in this kinde Otherwise I will sweare vpon an English Chronicle neuer to bee out-landish Chronicler more while I liue Farewell as manie as wish me well Iune 27. 1593. FINIS
as before they deemed them as a number of wolues vp in armes agaynst the shepheardes The Emperyalles themselues that were theyr executioners lyke a Father that wéepes when he beates his child yet still wéepes and still beates not without much ruth and sorrow prosecuted that lamentable massacre yet drumms and trumpets sounding nothing but stearne reuenge in their eares made them so eager that their hands had no leafure to aske counsell of theyr effeminate eyes theyr swords theyr pikes theyr bils their bows their caléeuers slew empierced knockt downe shot thorough and ouerthrew as many men euerie minute of the battell as there fals eares of corne before the sithe at one blowe yet all theyr weapons so slaying empiercing knocking downe shooting through ouerthrowing dissoule ioyned not halfe so many as the hailing thunder of their great ordenance so ordinary at euerie footstep was the imbrument of iron in bloud that one could hardly discerne heads from bullettes or clottered haire from mangled flesh hung with gore This tale must at one time or other giue vp the ghost and as good now as stay longer I would gladly rid my hands of it cleanly if I could tell how for what with talking of coblers tinkers râ—apemakers and botchers and durtdaubers the marke is cleane gone out of my muses mouth and I am as it were more than dunsified twixt diuinitie and poetrie What is there more as touching this tragedie that you would be resolued of saie quickly for now my pen is got vpon his féet again how I. Leiden dide is y t it he dide like a dog he was hanged and the halter paid for For his companions do they trouble you I can tel you they troubled some men before for they were all kild and none escapt no not so much as one to tel the tale of the rainbow Heare what it is to be Anabaptists to bée puritans to be villaines you may be counted illuminate botchers for a while but your end wil be Good people pray for me With the tragicall catastrophe of this munsterian conflict did I cashier the new vocation of my caualiership There was no more honorable wars in christendome then towards wherefore after I had learned to be halfe an houre in bidding a man boniure in germane sunonimas I trauelled along the cuntrie towards England as fast as I could What with wagons bare tentoes hauing attained to Middleborough good Lord sée the changing chances of vs knight arrant infants I met with the right honourable Lord Henrie Howard Earle of Surrey my late master Iesu I was yerswaded I sâ—oulde not be more glad to sée heauen than I was to sée him O it was a right noble Lord liberalitie it selfe if in this yron age there were anie such creature as liberality left on the earth a prince in content because a Poet without péere Destinie neuer defames her selfe but when she lets an excellent poet die if there bee anie sparke of Adams paradized perfection yet emberd vp in the breastes of mortall men certainely God hath bestowed that his perfectest image on poets None come so néere to God in wit none more contemne the world vatis auarus non temere est animus sayth Horace versus amat hoc studet vnum Seldom haue you séene anie Poet possessed with auarice onely verses he loues nothing else he delights in and as they contemne the world so contrarily of the mechanicall worlde are none more contemned Despised they are of the worlde because they are not of the world their thoughts are exalted aboue the worlde of ignorance and all earthly conceits As swéet angelicall queristers they are continually conuersant in the heauen of artes heauen it selfe is but the highest height of knowledge he that knowes himselfe all things else knowes the means to be happie happy thrice happie are they whome God hath doubled his spirite vppon and giuen a double soule vnto to be Poets My heroicall master excéeded in this supernaturall kinde of wit hee entertained no grosse earthly spirite of auarice nor weake womanly spirit of pusillanimity and feare that are fained to be of the water but admirable airie and firie spirites full of fréedome magnanimitie and bountihood Let me not speake anie more of his accomplishments for feare I spend al my spirits in praising him and leaue my selfe no vigor of wit or effectes of a soule to goe forward with my history Hauing thus met him I so much adored no interpleading was there of opposite occasions but backe I must returne and beare halfe stakes with him in the lotterie of trauell I was not altogether vnwilling to walke along with such a good purse-bearer yet musing what changeable humor had so sodainly seduced him from his natiue soyle to séeke out néedlesse perils in these parts beyond sea one night verie boldly I demaunded of him the reason that moued him thereto Ah quoth he my little Page full little canst thou perceiue howe faâ—re metamorphozed I am from my selfe since I last sawe thée There is a little God called Loue that will not bee worshipt of anie leaden braines one that proclaimes himselfe sole king and Emperour of pearcing eyes and chiefe soueraigne of softe heartes hée it is that exercising his empire in my eyes hath exorcized and cleane coniured me from my content Thou knowest stately Geraldine too stately I feare for me to doe homage to her statue or shrine she it is that is come out of Italy to bewitch all the wise men of England vpon Quéene Katherine Dowager shée waites that hath a dowrie of beautie sufficient to make her wooed of the greatest kings in christendome Her high exalted sunne beames haue set the phenix neast of my breast on fire and I my selfe haue brought Arabian spiceries of swéete passions and praises to furnish out the funerall flame of my folly Those who were condemned to be smoothered to death by sinking downe into the softe bottome of an high built bedde of roses neuer dide so swéete a death as I shoulde die if her rose coloured disdaine were my deaths-man Oh thrice emperiall Hampton court Cupids inchaunted castle the place where I first sawe the perfect omnipotence of the Almightie expressed in mortalitie tis thou alone that tithing all other men solace in thy pleasant scituation affoordest mée nothing but an excellent begotten sorrowe out of the chiefe treasurie of all thy recreations Deare Wilton vnderstand that there it was where I first set eie on my more than celestiall Geraldine Séeing her I admired her all the whole receptacle of my sight was vnhabited with her rare worth Long sute and vncessant protestations got me the grace to be entertained Did neuer vnlouing seruant so prentise like obey his neuer pleased mistres as I dyd her My lyfe my wealth my friendes had all theyr destinie depending on her command Uppon a time I was determined to trauell the fame of Italy and an especiall affection I had vnto Poetrie my second mistres for which Italy
in the Court or a forraine Countrey will engender and come to preferment Bee his feature what it will if he be faire spoken he winneth frends Non formosus erat sed erat facundus Vlysses Vlysses the long traueller was not amiable but eloquent Some alleadge they trauell to learne wit but I am of this opinion that as it is not possible for anie man to learne the Arte of Memorie whereof Tully Quintillian Seneca and Hermannus Buschius haue written so manie bookes except he haue a naturall memorie before so is not possible for anie man to attaine anie great wit by trauell except he haue the grounds of it rooted in him before That wit which is thereby to be perfected or made stayd is nothing but Experientia longa malorum The experience of manie euills the experience that such a man lost his life by this folly another by that such a young Gallant consumed his substance on such a Curtizan these courses of reuenge a Merchant of Venice tooke against a Merchant of Ferrara and this poynt of iustice was shewed by the Duke vppon the murtherer What is heere but wee maye read in bookes and a great deale more too without stirring our feete out of a warme studie Vobis alii ventorum praelia narrent saith Ouid Quasque Scilla infestat quasue Charybdis aquas Let others tell you wonders of the winde How Scilla or Charybdis is enclinde vos quod quisque loquetur Credite Beléeue you what they say but neuer trie So let others tell you straunge accidents treasons poysonings close parkings in Fraunce Spaine and Italy it is no harme for you to heare of them but come not neere them What is there in Fraunce to be learnd more than in England but falshood in fellowship perfect slouenrie to loue no man but for my pleasure to sweare Ah parla mort Dieu when a mans hammes are scabd For the idle Traueller I meane not for the Souldiour I haue knowen some that haue continued there by the space of halfe a dozen yeare and when they come home they haue hyd a little wéerish leane face vnder a bâ—oad French hat kept a terrible coyle with the dust in the stréete in their long cloakes of gray paper and spoke English strangely Nought else haue they profited by their trauell saue learnt to distinguish of the true Burdeaux Grape and knowe a cup of nâ—aâ—â— Gascoygne wine from wine of Orleance yea and peraduenture this also to estéeme of the peâ—e as a pimple to weare a velâ—et patch on their face and walke melancholy with their armes folded From Spaine what bringeth our Traueller a scull â—round hat of the fashion of an olde deepe porringer a diminutiue Aldermans ruffe 〈◊〉 shorte strings like the droppings of a mane nose a close-bellied dublet comming downe with a peake behinde as farre as the crupper and cut off before by the breast-boane like a partlet or neckercher a wyde payre of gascoynes which vngatherd would make a couple of womens ryding kyrtles huge hangers that haue halfe a Cowe hyde in them a Rapyer that is lineally descended from halfe a dozen Dukes at the least Let his cloake be as long or as short as you will if long it is fac'd with Turkey grogeran raueld if short it hath a cape like a calues tung and is not so déep in his whole length nor hath so much cloth in it I will iustifie as onely the standing cape of a Dutchmans cloake I haue not yet toucht all for hee hath in eyther shoo as much taffaty for his tyings as would serue for an ancient which serueth him if you will haue the mysterie of it of the owne accord for a shoo-rag A souldior and a braggart he is thats concluded he ietteth strouâ—ing dancing on his toes with his hands vnder his sides If you talke with him hee makes a dish-cloath of his owne Countrey in comparison of Spaine but if you vrge him more particularly wherein it exceeds hee can giue no instance but in Spaine they haue better bread than any we haue when poore hungry slaues they may crumble it into water wel enough and make misoâ—s with it for they haue not a good morsell of meate except it bee salt pilchers to eate with it al the yere long and which is more they are poore beggers and lye in foule straw euery night Italy the paradice of the earth and the Epiâ—ures heauen how doth it forme our yong master It makes him to kisse his hand like an ape cringe his neck like a starueling and play at hey passe repasse come aloft when hee salutes a man From thence he brings the art of atheisme the art of epicurising the art of whoring the art of poysoning the art of Sodomitrie The onely propable good thing they haue to kéepe vs from vtterly condemning it is that it maketh a man an excellent Courtier a curious carpet knight which is by interpretation a fine close leacher a glorious hypocrite It is now a priuie note amongst the better sort of men when they would set a singular marke or brand on a notorious villaine to say he hath béen in Italy With the Dane and the Dutch-man I will not encounter for they are simple honest men that with Danaus daughters do nothing but fill bottomles tubs wil be drunk snort in the midst of dinner he hurts himselfe onely that goes thether hee cannot lightly be damnd for the vintners the brewers the malt-men and ale-wiues praye for him Pitch and pay they will pray all day score and borrow they will wysh him much sorrowe But lightly a man is nere the better for their praiers for they commit al deadly sinne for the most part of them in mingling their drinke the vintners in the highest degrée Why iest I in such a necessary perswasiue discourse I am a banisht exile from my countrie though nere linkt in consanguinitie to the best an Earle borne by birth but a begger now as thou séest These many yeres in Italy haue I liu'd an outlaw A while I had a liberall pension of the Pope but that lasted not for he continued not one succéeded him in his chaire that car'd neither for Englishmen nor his owne countrimen Then was I driu'n to picke vp my crums amongst the Cardinals to implore the beneuolence charitie of al the Dukes of Italy whereby I haue since made a poore shift to liue but so liue as I wish myselfe a thousand times dead Cum patriam amisi tunc me periisse putato When I was banisht thinke I caught my bane The sea is the natiue soyle to fishes take fishes from the sea they take no ioy nor thriue but perish straight So likewise the birds remoued from the aire the abode wherto they were borne the beasts from the earth and I from England Can a lambe take delight to be suckled at the brests of a she-wolfe I am a lambe nourisht with the milke of wolues one that with the Ethiopians inhabiting ouer against