and in the Interim most of his men falling Sea sick A pinke was dispatcht to Apolloes Oracle to know their destinies Answere was made that they were all unsanctified people and not fit to bee imployed in so holy a warre untill they had done penance and made their confessions in some fitting Land This made them more amazed then before untill a subtile Sphincks expounded the riddle and told them it was meant by the holy Island unto which hee would prove their Pylot and bring them thither where if their men died as fast on Land as they did at Sea then they might save a labour of digging of Graves and bury them in conyborowes unto this they all agreed and weighed anchour hoised up sailes and in short time arrived in the harbour where they landed their men And the Marquesse himselfe after hee had made his Orizons at Saint Cutberts shrine hee posted to Apollo for further direction That when I came to the Campe I saw diverse troopes of voluntaries who like so many prodigals having got their patrimonies are come thither to spend them in hope to returne richer They have taken with them three horses a peece one to carry the Asse himselfe an other to carry a Prisoner if hee can take any and the third to carry his provision But it s commonly seene in all Lotteries this being the like that there are above ten Blancks to one prize I met with a great many Gamsters there and with some Players and Poets but all out of imployment yet a Poet told mee that because hee would keepe his hand in ure hee made every day a few lines in Verse a parcell whereof hee gave mee as followeth No enemies face yet have wee seene Nor foote set on your ground But here wee lie in open feild With raine like to bee drown'd The Earths my Bed when I am laid A Turfe it is my Pillow Our Canopy is the skie above My Lawrell turn'd to willow Then mighty Mars withhold thy hand And Jove thy fury cease That so wee may as all doe pray Returne againe in peace About the end of May either a Foole or an unskilfull Physitian told the King that the Scots Campe had such stinking breaths as the English durst not come within tenne miles of them for feare of infecting whereupon a Proclamation was made that the King did respect the safety of his subjects of England So as the Scots Campe under paine of displeasure should not come within tenne miles of the English borders or Campe wheresoever it lay but if they did then the Generalissimo was to kill all they could catch wherein they should doe his Majesty good service and honour Shortly after this a vaine man perswaded the King that all the Scots were retired above 14. miles from Barwick and that 5000. would bee able to take them all in their trenches This being granted upon Ascension day the English army went out of Barwick very early to put this designe in execution but ere they had marched two miles newes came that Generall Lesley was comming towards them whereupon they returned saying they went out but onely to goe in procession round about the bounds belonging to the Towne of Barwick About two dayes after there happened a great mistie morning in which the Cowes comming down the Hill towards Barwick seemed like so many men and the white horses like so many colours which put the Towne in such a fright that the Scots were comming that they barrocaded their Gates ranne up their Rampires mounted their Ordinance and made ready for a defence But when the day grew cleere and that they heard Cowes low for their Calves they opened their Gates and let them in to Suckling That I observed in the Campe that both the French and Spanish factions like to Caiphas and Pilate are now agreed to your overthrow in this expedition who were alwayes opposite enemies one to another even in their very apparrell which I will decipher unto you because if you see them you may know them The French-men bee knowne by their Curld Perriwiggs Franciscan Cap short wasted Dublet long arsed hose and curtall Cloake with boots as though they meant to bee buried in them And the other may bee knowne by his Spanish hat Armenian band long bellied Dublet without a belt trunke hose start up stockings buskin bootes and large cloakes which is the generall fashion now in the Army That when I was in the Campe Proclamation was made that every man upon paine of death should observe these Lawes and Ordinances of warre which all the Campe were sworne to as sacred and good out of which tenne of the most materiall were collected and set up to bee observed as truly as they doe the tenne Commandements 1. VVHosoever shall speake any thing in favour of the enemy or say that this army in unlawfull or unnecessary shall suffer as a Rebell 2. All such as have intelligence with the enemy or shall releive them or give them any thing saving blowes shall die without redemption 3. That all such as disparage or speake against the actions of any chiefe Commander or refuse to doe what they desire shall suffer death 4. That all such as forsakes their Collonels leave their Captaines or draw of sword against any but the Scots shall suffer death without mercy 5. That no man lift his hand wag his tongue or stirre a foote against his Commander when hee shall correct him upon paine of death 6. That whosoever shall see a Commander in danger shall venture his owne life to save the others upon paine of death 7. That when the enemy is driven out of the field no souldier leave his ranck to fall to pillage untill license bee given them upon paine of perpetuall imprisonment 8. That all such spoiles as shall bee taken above the rate of tenne shillings shall bee brought undiminished to the Lord Generall to bee rewarded for a memoriall of victory and after it is proclaimed with sound of Drumme and Trumpet it is to bee sold and the money to bee kept to build an Hospitall for old Casheer'd Captaines and such Souldiers as shall bee lam'd or spoil'd in this expedition 9. That he which can take any of the Lords or principal Covenanters Prisoners shall bring them to the Lord Generall where hee shall have an honourable reward for his paines 10. That whatsoever any man can spare unspent of his pay hee is at his returne to London to offer it up at the high Altar at Pauls towards the repayring therof wher his name shall be inrolled as a valiant Warrior against the Scots a brave Benefactor too Per Generalissimo Some of the Captaines and souldiers being displeased with these orders the next night puld them downe and put up these other ten in their places 1. That no man bee too forward to fight untill hee know the quarrell and that such correspondency be kept with the Covenanters as they doe with us upon paine of the next Parliaments
such an out-cry with Merchants concerning their new Impositions As it made the old Farmers 〈◊〉 for a court Lord and a citie Captaine to assist them who came ruffling into their offices with such violence as for feare of Goring it made al the Virginian Merchants to run away and leave their Plantations For Tobacco was growne so cheape as the Kings customes came to more then the Merchants had for it For it was taken by a worse name and sold by the measure of Iacobs staffe whereupon when the old Pinder saw such shavers come to share in his office he gave over and left the Dawes to shift among the Rooks which the common people seeing they prayed that their Court Customer might dye drunke in his new Impositions of Wines and the Crispe Citie Captaine might break as fast as doth his glasse beads Whilst I stayed at Custome-house I heard a muttering of a red Deere Pye full of gold going to the Nuns of Nancy from the holy sisters in England under colour of a peece of Venison sent to the Prince of Peymont from Catholico Mariano But they said a wilie Wayter had put his finger further into the Pye then was fitting and after it was discovered it was husht up no man can tell how Likewise I heard that the Cardinall of Cordel◠being cast away in crossing of a River his hat came floating up to the custome House where it was taken up for a miraculous monument and carried to the Lord Treasurer for a wreck who hath order to keepe it untill some fitting person bee found to weare it This accident makes good the old Proverbe Quot homines tot sententia for some sayes our countrey man Con the Popes Legate must have it others say Sir Tobit Mathewes doth better deserve it some say that as soone as the King hath established Bishops againe in Scotland St. Andrew shall have it instead of a blew Bonnet and others say Canterbury must be served before him But some say it s kept untill St. Paul have a new coat and then hee must have it for his hat or else when Pauls is quite built it must be carried round about it procession and then left on the high altar for a religious Relique That all Lent long His Majesties Chaplaines instead of Fasting preached fighting and instead of Peace preached punishing of Rebels amongst whom wilie Warner of Rochester having got a Bishopricke for making one Sermon hee gave the King an other gratis wherein he so rayled at the Rebels as his Patron hath promised a better Bishopricke when it fals That such time-serving Clergie men as have not the gift of Preaching seeke preferment by rayling as one Harison who lookes for a Deanery at least for calling Judge Hutton Traytor when hee sate on the seat of Iustice for speaking his conscience for the subject against Prerogative That the case of ship-monie was fully argued first by foure Councellors and afterwards by the twelve Iudges whereof the Gold-finch Vernon and five punies past for the King and five Seniors whereof two were capitall stood for the countrey but what can withstand fortune for most voices mis-carried it Neverthelesse the Lord Say would faine have had another assay at the matter but could not be heard That about Mid-lent the names of all strangers as well French and Dutch as Scots were collected in and about London and sent to the King viz. 60000. French 40000. Dutch and 900. Scots but if Priests Friers Iesuits and the rest of the Romish Rabbies had beene also collected they would have exceeded the number of the Scots and if the Papists and Protestants of the French and Dutch had beene likewise collected the number of the Protestants had stood but for a cipher to the other The voice went that all the Protestant strangers should have beene sent into New England if the King could have spared shipping and the others should have made a catholicke Army to have gone against the Scots But now the Scots taking their new oath to fight against their consciences and countrey and the rest paying in their money without grumbling they may all stay in Old England if they please That albeit with the pilling and polling of the Commonalty England is fallen into a very dangerous disease which growes every day worse and and worse in so much as one Sunday at one Master Shutes Parish Church a Bill was delivered that Iohn Common-wealth of England being sick of the Scots disease desires the prayers of the Congregation for calling a Parliament the great Physician of the Kingdome to cure their infinit infirmities That all men must contribute to this holy and zealous expedition whereupon the Citie of London having made a collection of at least 6000. l. presented it to the King who thankt them for their loves but would not receive it because some say it was too little others say that he will come home by them and then they must present him with a golden Calfe and a greater gift for a peace offring But in the meane time its said that Yorke must bee made the Royall Citie of the Kingdome but when no man knowes yet the Merchants care not if both Court and Towne bee carried thither so long as they cannot carry Thames with them also For if their wives loved Courtiers no better then they doe their roomes were farre better then their company That the King being resolved upon his Iourney wrote his Letters to all Noble-men in the Kingdome to attend his Royall Standard at Yorke The first day of Aprill with fitting men and furniture according to their birth and qualities degree and honour where by the Papists report his Majesty will be with 100000. English 20000. Welsh 20000. Irish 20000. chosen Catholikes all in compleate armour and that the King of Spaine would send him 20000. of his old souldiers if he had no use for them himselfe The King of Denmarke would send him 20000. of his Drunkards if he could spare them The King of Morocco would send him twenty tun of Barbary Gold if Argier and Tunnis stood not in his way and the Pope would send his Benediction if he thought it would doe him any good That the King was by the Prelates so exasperated and made so eager on the busines as he tooke his Iourney on his Coronation day which some think unfortunate But the Papists Proverbe prevailed The better day the better deed At this departure hee had Canterburies blessing and a book of Remembrances what is fit to be done to such a rebellious people That all things are much altered since the Kings departure from London White-hall is become an Amazonian Castle St. Iames an Hospitall for strangers Somerset-House a Catholicke Colledge Westminster a receptacle for Seminary Priests and Iesutis London is like a private friend in close mourning Coaches and Carts are halfe idle for want of imployment and great Horses Sedans and wherries fight for their imployment Porters are taken up for Gentlemen Vshers Clergy
countrey men went to dinner where I was relating my Reading Journey and newes whereupon one of them puld a paper out of his pocket saying now by your Relation I understand the meaning of my verses which were bestowed on me And before now I did not well know what they meant A Copie whereof hee gave me to end my Discovery withall which are as followeth The King wants coyne the Bishops blood The Church is chang'd none dares doe good The three chiefe Arts in all the Land In Pillory at once did stand The Welsh may run the English ride To kill the Scots for Prelates pride VVhich makes men cry and curse that Age Hatcht little Laud twixt Stocks and Cage THE INTELLIGENCERS owne Discovery AT my first comming to London I heard little newes of any Scots grievances but within a little while after when I saw Burton Bastwick and Pryn promoted to the Pillory for speaking against the power of the Prelates then I began to smell a fox They rejoyced as much in their sufferings as their Adversaries did in their sentences but because they should not prate nor talke to one another as they did when they stood in the Pillory Therefore they were sent first into three severall Castles in three remoted counties and afterwards removed to three severall Ilands every one of them at their departure from the Pillory to their Prisons made two verses Tryumphing I returne my face discryes Lauds scorching scars Gods gratefull sacrifice A painefull Pastor I have beene my flock I truly fed And now in honour of Christs cause my blood I freely shed Physician 's for soule and body and Lawyer for the State All here now have lost their blood to please a proud Prelate The next Terme after this the Bishop of Lincolne came to his sentence in the Star-chamber where hee received a sharpe sensure but hee may thank himself for it in keeping two prime places in his hands when others want preferment But hee stood too much upon his trumps thinking that King James his Patents had beene now as good as when hee had them Alas good man though hee be a great Scholler not a better in the Kingdome yet hee had forgot the little Mans Motto Sic volo sic Iubeo The originall cause of this was never heard but this I learned that two flesh flyes having fed at his Table for a long time together had purposely laid a traine to intrap him and then they combined with one Kilvert A Caniball who having devoured his owne Master Sir Iohn Bennet undertooke to doe the like with him and hath hunted him so hard that the Tower is become his Tabernacle where he is like to remain unlesse hee will pull off his Miter and give it for his Ransome Long hee had not laine there ere he was roused up againe for a second course pretending that hee had given a false exposition on the great Leviathan false Mediator and the like whereupon through the meanes of a false Steward a faithlesse Secretary and a foolish Scribe he was Acteon-like puld down with his own hounds which he had fed at his trencher in his prosperity but had now fallen upon himselfe in his adversity yet his owne patience and the peoples prayers may one day be a comfort to him That when the newes came first of the troubles in Scotland Archie the Kings Foole was questioned for something against the Prelates whom hee thought was the cause of it For which hee had beene had up in the Star-chamber but that the Fool told them hee would plead the priviledge of his Coat For quoth hee if neither Foole nor wife man must scape this Court I will be neither But for all this Archie could not scape scot free for hee was led to the Porters lodge where albeit hee found favour in his lash yet he lost both his Coat and his place by it That about a weeke after I met Archie at the Abby all in black Alas poore foole thought I hee mournes for his countrey I askt him about his Coat O quoth he my Lord of Canterbury hath taken it from mee because either he or some of the Scots Bishops may have use for it themselves But hee hath given me a black coat for it to colour my knavery with and now I may speake what I please so it be not against the Prelates for this Coat hath a farre greater Priviledge then the other had when I heard him say so albeit thought I a Fooles bolt is soone shot yet perhaps hee may hit the marke whereupon I went and bought me a canonicall Coat and put my selfe into an Arminian habit which hath kept mee freer from danger then if I had beene all clad in buffe That about Christmas last all the passages of your Assembly were presented to the King and all the names of the Lords and others that had subscribed the Covenant or consenting to the putting downe of the Prelates were given in wherupon a Convocation of the Clergy of England was once resolved to be called and to have the matter disputed but the Bishops were busie and could not attend it and advised that ipso facto you should be proclaymed Rebels and all your Lands should be confiscate to the King which made some of the Courtiers mouthes so water in hopes of a Lordship that they lookt as if they had beene troubled with the scurvie That about Candlemas the newes was nothing but warre and that the King would goe in person into Scotland and had promised to gratifie those that adventured with them for cutting off the Covenanters And therefore to make them the more contemptible to the English Proclamation 〈◊〉 made in all market Townes and read in all Churches That you were base fawning fellowes and people of broken fortunes and would faine repair your ruined estates by the spoyles of the good subjects of England which Proclamation notwithstanding the faire and true declaration of your intentions so animated many of them as like Hogs in the wind they ran on but knew not whither ro fight but knew not for what hoping to be rewarded but knew not when and they may returne but know not how That of late every man at London hath beene in his humours The Courtiers were learning how to tosse tennis bals instead of Bullets The Captaines were preparing to see the tragedy of traytors the Clergy were studying a Masque for a Myter the Ministry were drawing the map of misery the Iesuits were at wilie baguilie and the Scots Bishops were at Boe peepe with the Kirke That one day I went to see the Tower which is newly rapaired there are forty new beds and lodgings provided for entertainment of the Scots traytors well let me advise yee to looke to your selves for if ever you bee lodged there the next newes after will bee your comming out to Tower-Hill where either your heads must lop or your Crags crack I came home by the custome House where there was
Vox Regis For their Base Vox Clerici for their Discords Vox consilij for their Treble Vox populi for their Counter Uox pauperis for their Meane Vox pueri for their Consort Vox Cali for their comfort Vox Dei The voice of this Musicke hath beene heard throughout all England and is like to grow lowder unlesse some course be taken to stop it That there are a kind of Beadles runs up and downe about the towne yelping out your destruction crying Oh the valour of the Welsh-men which are gone to kill the Scots well looke you have Leeks and causbobby and give them good words and call them bold Britains and then you may doe with them what you will That Halter and Ballad-makers are two principall trades of late Ballads being sold by whole hundreds in the Citie and Halters sent by whole barrels full to Barwicke to hang up the Rebels with as soone as they can catch them That old Iohnson the Poet being dead great moane is made for one of that quality to write the Bishops wars yet two have petitioned for the place and each of them have something for tryall which because you may see their straine I thought fit to insert as followeth 1. POET The Doughty Dane the force of Spaine Morocco rude and rout The Irish wild the English mild And Welsh men bold and stout Are taking Armes and vowes great harmes To Scotland they will bring For Bishops right they meane to fight To please their Royall King 2. POET The English-men both bold and strong The Irish stout and hardy The valiant Welsh-men will be first To take the Scots men tardy Our ships by sea our men by land Will pull their courage downe And make men know King Charles will keepe The Myter next the Crowne The tryall of these verses were put to two Iohns poetically affected who allowed of the Latter for two reasons First because the former makes them fight for Nations to one which is too much odds where the other mentions onely three being somewhat unequall too Secondly because the former forgets the Kings ships whereupon depends the hopes of the successe and honour of the Kingdome which the latter observing he shall therefore write the history but hee must not begin untill hee heare the successe of the first Battell which if it proves unfortunate then it spoyles a Poet That the newes at London is so uncertaine that no man believes it sometimes we heare of Peace and then the Papists storme and fret saying the King is too mercifull For my Lord Howard not the chiefe of the Howards hath three sonnes all Colonels newly come over from the Cardinals Campe who threaten if the King will give them leave they will pluck the Scots out of their trenches by the eares but when newes come they must fight and that wee shall have blowes for blowes then they tell us that the Kings forces are two weak for the Covenanters but as soone as the Irish will come over Dunluce and his Dimilances will drive them all into the Mountaines That such newes as this comes out by owlelight in little Bookes or Ballads to be sold in the streets And I feare it s held a prime peece of policy of state For otherwise how could so many false Ballads and Bookes be tollerated yet the next morning Sunne exhales all their vaine Evening vapours As that newes of taking Lesley Prisoner killing of Colonell Crayford and imprysoning most of the Nobility but I never beleeved it because if it had beene true Ballads would have beene sung by day light Bookes printed Bonefires made and a solemne Procession with a Te Deum at least had not beene wanting at Lambeth That I went one day to the Star-chamber to see what Lords where left at home where I heard Colonell Crosby and others fined for reporting that the Lord Deputy of Ireland going to Knight a poore man Sir Knave with a Cane hee hit him so hard as hee kill'd him when in truth hee died not untill three dayes following At which sentence little Laud made a Sermon of an houre long telling them how the Deputy had cozened the Scots in Ireland of all their armes and was providing men to weare them into Scotland against their owne Countrey-men And that it was a fortune that followeth all men in high places and authority to bee evill spoken off But it was not so of old for then the man whom the King did honour should ride in his Chariot bee apparelled with the Kings Roabes and esteemed the second person in the Kingdome but now if the people might have their wils quoth hee those whom the King honoureth should have Hamans reward with this hee concluded keeping the application to himselfe whereupon I went out and wrote these Verses following and left them in the window Now wicked Will doth raigne as King And Finch sing sweet by Windybanks The Priests placebo still doe sing But the Scots if crost will play mad prancks The next day I tooke my journey homewards and left one to take notice of passages in my absence And a first night I lay at Ware where my host shewed mee the great bed and told mee that 24. Captaines lay altogether in it and named it the bed of honour If said I honour could bee goe with lying in fether-beds few would bee without it But sure said I they will lye both worse and further asunder before they returne home againe When I came at Yorke I heard the King was bravely entertained there and that the Recorder had so tickled his eares with flattery and fables that both hee and the Major were knighted well thought I this makes good the old Proverbe Some may better steale a goose then others stick downe a feather For if the Scots had done so they had beene called fawning fellowes by open Proclamation When I came to Durham all the Drummers were drunke for the Bishop had bestowed good store of wine upon them to forbeare beating because the noise of the Drummes should not drowne the sound of the Organs I needed no guide to Newcastle for whole troopes of souldiers lay lame by the way This Towne is now called little London albeit it hardly deserve the name of Coale-Castle I went round their Towne to see the workes and thought to have seene a Castle in it but mine host told mee that the Scots had long agoe laid the Castle levell with the ground and least they should doe the like with the Towne the King had sent a garison to defend it When I came first to the Campe I was examined what I was I told them I was Chaplaine to the Lord High Crown'd Howard and was come on a message to his chiefe Upon this I had a faire pasport but never came neere him The first newes I heard there was that the Marquesse was sent to find out the floting Islands and that hee had beene round about England and most part of Scotland but could not find them