themselves very perfect in their Tale. Of which I have had very Pleasant Experience at the Expence of such as Profess only to form and accommodate their Speech to the Affair they have in hand or to the Humour of the Person with whom they have to do for the Circumstances to which these men stick not to enslave their Consciences and their Faith being subject to several Changes their Language must accordingly vary From whence it happens that of the same thing they tell one Man that it is this and another that it is that giving it several Forms and Colours which Men if they once come to confert Notes and find out the Cheat what becomes of this fine Art To which may be added that they must of Necessity very often ridiculously trap themselves for what Memory can be sufficient to retain so many different Shapes as they have forgâ—d upon one and the same Subject I have known many in my Time very ambitious of the repute of this fine piece of Discretion but they do not see that if there be a Reputation of being wise there is really no Prudence in it In plain Truth Lying is a hateful and an accursed Vice We are not Men nor have other Tye upon one another but our Word If we did but discover the Horror and ill Consequences of it we should pursue it with Fire and Sword and more justly than other Crimes I see that Parents commonly and with Indiscretion enough correct their Children for little innocent Faults and torment them for wanton childish Tricks that have neither Impression nor tend to any Consequence whereas in my Opinion Lying only and what is of something a lower Form Stomach are the Faults which are to be severely whip'd out of them both in the Infancy and Progress of the Vices which will otherwise grow up and increase with them and after a Tongue has once got the Knack of lying 't is not to be imagined how impossible almost it is to reclaim it Whence it comes to pass that we see some who are otherwise very honest Men so subject to this Vice I have an honest Lad to my Taylor who I never knew guilty of one Truth no not when it had been to his Advantage If Falshood had like Truth but one Face only we should be upon better Terms for we should then take the contrary to what the Lyar says for certain Truth but the Reverse of Truth has an hundred thousand Figures and a Field indefinite without Bound or Limit The Pythagoreans make Good to be certain and finite and Evil infinite and uncertain there are a thousand ways to miss the White there is only one to hit it For my own part I have this Vice in so great horror that I am not sure I could prevail with my Conscience to secure my self from the most manifest and extream Danger by an impudent and solemn Lye An ancient Father says That a Dog we know is better Company than a Man whose Language we do not understand Plin. Nat. Hist lib. 7 cap. 1. Ut externus non alieno sit hominis vice As a Foreigner to one that understands not what he says cannot be said to supply the Place of a Man because he can be no Company And how much less sociable is false Speaking than Silence King Francis the First bragg'd that he had by this means non-plus'd Francisco Taverna the Embassador of Francisco Sforza Duke of Milan a Man very famous for his Eloquence in those days This Gentleman had been sent to excuse his Master to his Majesty about a thing of very great Consequence which was this King Francis to maintain evermore some intelligence in Italy out of which he had lately been driven and particularly in the Dutchy of Milan had thought it to that end convenient to have evermore a Gentleman on his Behalf to lie Leiger in the Court of that Duke an Ambassador in Effect but in outward Appearance no other than a private Person who pretended to reside there upon the single Account of his own particular Affairs which was so carried by reason that the Duke much more depending upon the Emperour especially at a time when he was in a Treaty of a Marriage with his Neece Daughter to the King of Denmark and since Dowager of Lorrain could not own any Friendship or intelligence with us but very much to his own Prejudice For this Commission then one Merveille a Milanois Gentleman and Epuerry to the King being thought very fit he was accordingly dispatch'd thither with private Letters of Credence his Instructions of Ambassador and other Letters of Recommendation to the Duke about his own private Concerns the better to colour the Business and so long continued in that Court that the Emperour at last had some Incling of his real Employment there and complain'd of it to the Duke which was the Occasion of what followed after as we suppose which was that under Pretence of a Murther by him committed his Tryal was in two days dispath'd and his Head in the Night struck off in Prison Signior Francisco then being upon this Account come to the Court of France and prepar'd with a long counterfeit Story to excuse a thing of so dangerous Example for the King had apply'd himself to all the Princes of Christendom as well as to the Duke himself to demand Satisfaction for this Outrage upon the Person of his Minister had his Audience at the morning Council where after he had for the Support of his Cause in a long premeditated Oration laid open several plausible Justifications of the Fact he concluded that the Duke his Master had never lookâ—d upon this Merveille for other than a private Gentleman and his own Subject who was there only in order to his own Business neither had he ever liv'd after any other manner absolutely disowning that he had ever heard he was one of the King 's Domestick Servants or that his Majesty so much as knew him so far was he from taking him for an Ambassadour When having made an end and the King pressing him with several Objections and Demands and sifting him on all hands gravell'd him at last by asking why then the Execution was perform'd by Night and as it were by Stealth At which the poor confounded Ambassador the more handsomly to disingage himself made Answer That the Duke would have been very loath out of Respect to his Majesty that such an Execution should have been perform'd in the Face of the Sun Any one may guess if he was not well school'd when he came home for having so grosly trip'd in the Presence of a Prince of so delicate a Nostril as King Francis Pope Julius the Second having sent an Ambassadour to the King of England to animtate him against King Francis the Ambassadour having had his Audience and the King before he would give a positive Answer insisting upon the Difficulties he found in setting on foot so great a Preparation as would
in no good sense as with us John William and Benoist In the Genealogy of Princes also there seems to be certain Names fatally affected as the Ptolemies of Aegypt the Henry's of England the Charles's of France the Baldwins of Flandert and the Williams of our Ancient Aquiraine from whence 't is said the Name of Guyenne has its derivation which would seem far fetch'd were there not as rude derivations in Plato himself 'T is a very frivolous thing in it self but nevertheless worthy to be recorded for the strangeness of it which is writ by an Eye-witness that Henry Duke of Normandy Son of Henry the Second King of England making a great Feast in France the concourse of Nobility and Gentry was so great that being for Sports sake divided into Troops according to their Names in the first Troop which consisted of Williams there were found an Hundred and Ten Knights sitting at the Table of that Name without reckoning the ordinary Gentlemen and their Servants It is as pleasant to distinguish the Tables by the Names of the Guests as it was in the Emperour Geta to distinguish the several Courses of his Meat by the first Letters of the Ments themselves where those that began with B were serv'd up together as Brawn Beef Bream Bustards and Beccaficos and so of others Now there is a saying that it is a good thing to have a good Name that is to say Credit and a good Repute But besides this it is really convenient to have such a Name as is easie of pronunciation and easie to be remembred by reason that Kings and other great Persons do by that means the more easily know and the more hardly forget us and indeed of our own Servants we more frequently call and employ those whose Names are most ready upon the Tongue I my self have seen Henry the Second when he could not for his heart hit of a Gentlemans Name of our Country of Gascony and moreover was fain to call one of the Queen's Maids of Honour by the general Name of her Family her own being so difficult to pronounce or remember And Socrates thinks it worthy a Fathers Care to give fine Names to his Children 'T is said that the Foundation of Nostre Dame la Grande at Poictiers took its original from hence That a Debauch'd Young Fellow formerly Living in that place having got to him a Whore and at her first coming in asking her Name and being answer'd that it was Mary he felt himself so suddenly darted through with the Awe of Religion and the Reverence to that Sacred Name of the Blessed Virgin that he not only immediately put his Lewd Mistress away from him but became a reformed Man and so continued the remainder of his Life And that in consideration of this Miracle there was Erected upon the place where this Young Mans House stood first a Chappel Dedicated to our Lady and afterwards the Church that we now see standing there This Auricular Reproof wrought upon the Conscience and that right into the Soul This that follows insinuated it self meerly by the sense Pythagoras being in company with some wild Young Fellows and perceiving that heated with the Feast they complotted to go Violate an Honest House commanded the Singing Wench to alter her Wanton Airs and by a Solemn Grave and Spondaick Musick gently enchanted and laid asleep their Ardour Will not Posterity say that our Modern Reformation has been wonderfully exact in having not only scuffled with and overcome Errors and Vices and fill'd the World with Devotion Humility Obedience Peace and all sorts of Vertue but to have proceeded so far as to quarrel with the Ancient Baptismal Names of Charles Lewis and Francis to fill the World with Methusalems Ezekiels and Malachies of a more Scriptural sound A Gentleman a Neighbour of mine a great Admirer of Antiquity and who was always preferring the Excellency of preceeding Times in comparison with this present Age of ours did not amongst the rest forget to Magnifie the Lofty and Magnificent sound of the Gentlemen's Names of those Days Don Grumedar Quadregan Angesilan c. which but to hear Nam'd he perceiv'd to be other kind of Men than Pierre Guillot and Michel I am mightily pleas'd with Jaques Amiot for leaving throughout a whole French Oration the Latine Names entire without varying and dissecting them to give them a French termination It seem'd a little harsh and rough at first But already Custom by the Authority of Plutarch whom he took for his Example has overcome that Novelty I have often wish'd that such as write Chronicle Histories in Latine would leave our Names as they find them and as they are and ought to be for in making Vaudemont Vallemontances and Metamorphosing Names to make them suit better with the Greek or Latine we know not where we are and with the persons of the Men lose the benefit of the Story To conclude 't is a scurvy Custom and of very ill consequence that we have in our Kingdom of France to call every one by the Name of his Mannor or Signeury and the thing in the World that does the most prejudice and confound Families and Descents A Younger Brother of a good Family having a Mannor left him by his Father by the Name of which he has been known and honour'd cannot handsomely leave it Ten Years after his Decease it falls into the hand of a stranger who does the same Do but judge whereabouts we shall be concerning the knowledge of these Men. We need look no further for Examples than our own Royal Family where every Partage creares a new Sir-name whilst in the mean time the Original of the Family is totally lost There is so great liberty taken in these Mutations that I have not in my time seen any one advanc'd by Fortune to any extraordinary condition who has not presently had Genealogick Titles added to him new and unknown to his Father and who has not been inoculated into some illustrious Stem and by good Luck the obscurest Families are the most proper for Falsification How many Gentlemen have we in France who by their own talk are of Royal Extraction More I think than who will confess they are not Was it not a pleasant passage of a Friend of mine There were a great many Gentlemen assembled together about the dispute of one Lord of a Mannor with another which other had in truth some preheminence of Titles and Alliances above the ordinary Scheme of Gentry Upon the Debate of this Priority of Place every one standing up for himself to make himself equal to him alledging one one Extraction another another one the near resemblance of Name another of Arms another an old worm-eaten Patent and the least of them Great-Granchild to some Foreign King When they came to sit down to dinner my Friend instead of taking his place amongst them retiring with most profound Congees entreated the Company to excuse him for having hitherto Liv'd with them at the
Contulit haud furto melior sed fortibus armis His Heart disdain'd to strike Orodes dead Or unseen basely wound him as he fled But gaining first his Front wheels round and there Bravely oppos'd himself to his Career And fighting Man to Man would let him see His Valour scorn'd both Odds and Policy CHAP. VII That the Intention is Judge of our Actions 'T is a Saying That Death discharges us of all our Obligations However I know some who have taken it in another Sence Henry the Seventh King of England articled with Don Philip Son to Maximilian the Emperour and Father to the Emperour Charles the Fifth when he had him upon English Ground that the said Philip should deliver up the Duke of Suffolk of the White Rose his mortal Enemy who was fled into the Low Countries into his Hands which Philip not knowing how to evade it accordingly promis'd to do but upon condition nevertheless that Henry should attempt nothing against the Life of the said Duke which during his own Life he perform'd but coming to die in his last Will commanded his Son to put him to Death immediately after his Decease And lately in the Tragedy that the Duke of Alva presented to us in the Persons of the two Counts Egmont and Horne at Brussels there were very remarkable Passages and one amongst the rest that the said Count Egmont upon the security of whose Word and Faith Count Horne had come and surrendred himself to the Duke of Alva earnestly entreated that he might first mount the Scaffold to the end that Death might disinage him from the Obligation he had pass'd to the other In which Case methinks Death did not acquit the former of his Promise and the second was satisfied in the good Intention of the other even though he had not died with him for we cannot be oblig'd beyond what we are able to perform by reason that the Effects and Intentions of what we promise are not at all in our Power and that indeed we are Masters of nothing but the Will in which by necessity all the Rules and whole Duty of Mankind is founded and establish'd And therefore Count â—gmont conceiving his Soul and will bound and indepted to his Promise although he had not the Power to make it good had doubtless been absolv'd of his Duty even though he had outliv'd the other but the King of England willfully and premeditately breaking his Faith was no more to be excus'd for deferring the Execution of his Infidelity till after his Death than Herodotus his Mason who having inviolably during the time of his Life kept the Secret of the treasure of the King of Aegypt his Master at his Death discover'd it to his Children I have taken notice of several in my time who convinc'd by their Consciences of unjustly detaining the Goods of another have endeavour'd to make amends by their Will and afther their Decease but they had as good do nothing as delude themselves both in taking so much time in so pressing an Affair and also in going about to repair an Injury with so little Demonstration of Resentment and Concern They owe over and above something of their own and by how much their Payment is more strict and incommodious to themselves by so much is their Restitution more perfect just and meritorious for Penitency requires Penance but they yet do worse than these who reserve the Declaration of a mortal Animofity against their Neighbour to the last Gasp having conceal'd it all the time of their Lives before wherein they declare to have little regard of their own Honour whilst they irritate the Party offended against their Memory and less to their Conscience not having the Power even out of Respect to Death it self to make their Malice die with them but extending the Life of their Hatred even beyond their own Unjust Judges who deferr Judgment to a time wherein they can have no Knowledge of the Cause For my part I shall take Care if I can that my Death discover nothing that my Life has not first openly manifested and publickly declar'd CHAP. VIII Of Idleness AS we see some Grounds that have long lain idle and untill'd when grown rank and fertile by rest to abound with and spend their Vertue in the Product of innumerable sorts of Weeds and wild Herbs that are unprofitable and of no wholesome use and that to make them perform their true Office we are to culvitate and prepare them for such Seeds as are proper for our Service And as we see Women that without the Knowledge of Men do sometimes of themselves bring forth inanimate and formless Lumps of Flesh but that to cause a natural and perfect Generation they are to be husbanded with another kind of Seed even so it is with Wits which if not applyed to some certain Study that may fix and restrain them run into a thousand Extravagancies and are eternally roving here and there in the inextricable Labyrinth of restless Imagination Aenâ—id l. 8. Sicut aquae tremulum labris ubi lumen ahenis Sole repercussum aut radiantis imagine Lunae Omnia pervolitat latè loca jamque sub auras Erigitur summique ferit laquearia tecti Like as the quivering Reflection Of Fountain Waters when the Morning Sun Darts on the Bason or the Moon 's pale Beam Gives Light and Colour to the Captive Stream Whips with fantastick motion round the place And Walls and Roof strikes with its trembling Rays In which wild and irregular Agitation there is no Folly nor idle Fancy they do not light upon Hor. de Arte Poetica velut aegri somnia vanae Finguntur species Like Sick mens Dreams that from a troubled Brain Phantasms create ridiculous and vain The Soul that has no establish'd Limit to circumscribe it loses it self as the Epigrammatist says Martial lib. 7. Epig. 72. Quisquis ubique habitat maxime nusquam habitat He that lives every where does no where live When I lately retir'd my self to my own House with a Resolution as much as possibly I could to avoid all manner of Concern in Affair and to spends in privacy and repose the little remainder of time I have to Live I fansi'd I could not more oblige my mind than to suffer it at full leisure to entertain and divert it self which I also now hop'd it might the better be entrusted to do as being by Time and Observation become more settled and mature but I find Lucan l. 4. variam semper dant otia mentem Even in the most retir'd Estate Leasure it self does various Thoughts create that quite contrary it is like a Horse that has broke from his Rider who voluntarily runs into a much more violent Career than any Horseman would put him to and creates me so many Chimaera's and fantastick Monsters one upon another without Order or Design that the better at leisure to contemplate their Strangeness and Absurdity I have begun to commit them to Writing hoping
the Sword ever shrunk in his Neck Let us bring in the Women too Who has not heard at Paris of her that caus'd her Face to be flea'd only for the fresher Complexion of a new Skin There are who have drawn good and sound Teeth to make their Voices more soft and sweet or to place them in better Order How many Examples of the contempt of Pain have we in that Sex What can they not do What do they fear to do for never so little hopes of an Addition to their Beauty Vellere queis cura est albos à stirpe capillos Tib. lib. 1. Eleg. 9. Et faciem dempta pelle referre novam Who pluck their Gray Hairs by the Roots and try An old Head Face with young Skin to supply I have seen some of them swallow Sand Ashes and do their utmost to destroy their Stomachs to get Pale Complexions To make a fine Spanish Boy what Racks will they not endure of Tweaking and Braceing till they have Noches in their sides cut into the very quick Flesh and sometimes to Death It is an ordinary thing with several Nations at this Day to hurt themselves in good earnest to gain credit to what they profess of which our King relates notable Examples of what he has seen in Poland and done towards himself But besides this which I know to have been imitated by some in France when I came from that famous Assembly of the Estates at Blois I had a little before seen a Maid in Picardy who to manifest the Ardour of her Promises as also her Constancy give her self with a Bodkin she wore in her Hair Four or Five good lusty Stabs into the Arm till the Bloud gush'd out to some purpose The Turks make themselves great Scars in Honour of their Mistresses and to the end they may the longer remain they presently clap Fire to the Wound where they hold it an uncredible time to stop the Bloud and form the Cicatrice People that have been Eye-witness of it have both Writ and Sworn it to me But for Ten Aspers there are there every day Fellows to be found that will give themselves a good deep slash in the Arms or Thighs I am willing though to have the Testimonies nearest to us when we have most need of them for Christendom does furnish us with enow And after the Example of our Blessed Guide there have been many who would bear the Cross We Learn by Testimony very worthy of belief that the King St. Lewis wore a Hair-shirt till in his old Age his Confessor gave him a Dispensation to leave it off and that every Friday he caus'd his Shoulders to be drubb'd by his Priest with Six small 's Chains of Iron which were always carried about amongst his Night Accoutrements for that purpose William our last Duke of Guienne the Father of this Eleanor who has Transmitted this Dutchy into the Houses of France and England continually for Ten or Twelve Years before he Died wore a Suit of Arms under a Religious Habit by way of Penance Fulkee Count of Anjou went as far as Ierusalem there to cause himself to be Whipt by Two of his Servants with a Rope about his Neck before the Sepulchre of our Lord But do we not moreover every Good Friday in several places see great numbers of Men and Women Beat and Whip themselves till they Lacerate and Cut the Flesh to the very Bones I have often seen this and without Enchantment when it was said there were some amongst them for they go disguis'd who for Money undertook by this means to save harmless the Religion of others by a contempt of Pain so much the greater as the Incentives of Devotion are more effectual than those of Avarice Q. Maximus Buried his Son when he was a Consul and M. â—ate his when Praetor Elect and L. Paulus both his within a few Days one after another with such a Countenance as express'd no manner of Grief I said once Merrily of a certain Person that he had disappointed the Divine Justice for the Violent Death of Three grown up Children of his being one Day sent him for a severe Scourge as it is to be suppos'd he was so far from being Afflicted at the Accident that he rather took it for a particular Grace and Favour of Heaven I do not follow these Monstrous Humours though I lost Two or Three at Nurse if not without Grief at least without Repining and yet there is hardly any Accident that pierces nearer to the quick I see a great many other occasions of Sorrow that should they happen to me I should hardly feel and have despis'd some when they have befallen me to which the World has give so Terrible a Figure that I should Blush to Boast of my Constancy Ex quo intelligitur non in Natura sed in opinione esse aegritudinem By which it is understood Cicero that the Grief is not in Nature but Opinion Opinion is a Powerful Party bold and without Measure who ever so greedily hunted after Security and Repose as Alexander and Caesar did after Disturbances and Difficulties Terez the Father of Sitalces was wont to say that when he had no Wars he fansied there was no difference betwixt him and his Groom Cato the Consul to secure some Cities of Spain from Revolt only interdicting the Inhabitants from wearing Arms a great many Kill'd themselves Ferox gens nullam vitam rati sine Armis esse A Fierce People who thought there was no Life without Arms. How many do we know who have forsaken the Calms and Sweetness of a Quiet Life at Home amongst their Acquaintance to seek out the Horrour of uninhabitable Desarts and having precipitated themselves into so Abject a Condition as to become the Scorn and Contempt of the World have hug'd themselves with the Conceit even to Affectation Cardinal Barromeus who Died lately at Milan in the midst of all the Jollity that the Air of Italy his Youth Birth and great Riches invited him to kept himself in so Austere a way of Living that the same Robe he wore in Summer serv'd him for Winter too Had only Straw for his Bed and his Hours of vacancy from the Affairs of his Employment he continually spent in Study upon his Knees having a little Bread and a Glass of Water set by his Book which was all the Provision of his Repast and all the time he spent in Eating I know some who consentingly have Acquir'd both Profit and Advancement from Cuckoldry of which the bare Name only affrights so many People If the Sight be not the most necessary of all our Senses 't is at least the most pleasant But the most pleasant and most useful of all our Members seem to be those of Generation and yet a great many have conceiv'd a Mortal Hatred against them only for this that they were too Amiable and have depriv'd themselves of them only for their Value As much thought lie of his Eyes
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