WRENS ANATOMY DISCOVERING His notorious pranks and shamefull wickednesse with some of his most lewd facts and infamous deeds both in his government of Peter-house Colledge and domineering in three Bishopricks to his perpetuall shame and infamy only canonicall prayers no afternoon sermons Altar-cringing Pristes Church-wardens for Articles Woe be unto the Pastors that destroy and scatter the sheepe of my pasture saith the Lord. Jerem. 23.1 Printed in the yeare That Wren ceasd to domineere 1641. WRENS ANATOMY SECT 1. His birth parentage and education THe world since its first creation being by the fall of man something degenerated from the first perfection and purity of nature wherein the most blessed Almighty was pleased to vouchsafe it the nature and qualitie of exceeding good and by the fall of man sin entring into the world and by sin death and corruption of nature ruling and conquering all living creatures so that by sin death corruption and depravation of nature and naturall things the world hereby not being what it was at first at sundry times and severall ages and in divers places from various causes or rather imperfections and blemishes of nature it hath been observed to produce monsters of severall kinds some of one fashion and some of another some whose causes were knowne and understood by the learned judicious and some whereof the reason was inscrutable but of all Monsters those Monsters in soule seeme more marvellous than those which are either deficient or redundant in body The subject that now we are to treat of hath not been esteemed a Monster in body nor a wonder to behold in person but whether a monster in soule if he thinke to have any or a wonder to behold his profession and practises I leave to other mens judgements who not so much as feeling the least part of hâ—s tyranny shall but onely heare that one procreated of * He was born in Cheap-side his father being an Haberdasher of small wares kept the corner stall next unto Cheap-Crosse was brought up in the University of Cambridge ordinary parentage some well disposed kindred in so eminent a Citie as being the chiefe in the Kingdome and brought up in so famous an Universitie should commit so many monstrous outrages and such prodigious wickednesse 2. His first preferments in the Vniversitie DUring his time at Cambridge he first attained unto a fellowship of a Colledge which was the beginning of his rising and so spent some yeares in that place where whilest he was fellow there fell out an accident which I cannot passe by but as it was reported to * By a credible person yet living me I shal relate this Mr. Wren greatly frequented one Mr. Parishes house and this Mr. Parish had a very handsome and proper woman to his wife in whose life time Mr. Wren lived a batchellour and since her death hath married a wife of his owne and they say he hath preferred or provided for Mrs Parishes children but to the matter this being known and well noted in the Towne that the little bird fluttered so often about Mr. Parishes house it happened that Dr. Batchcroft was in election to be Master of Keys Colledge which Mr. Wren hearing of said What He Why he is not a fit man to governe a Colledge which words came to Dr. Batchcrofts eare who afterwards upon some occasion speaking to Mr. Wren said I thanke you Mr. Wren it seemes I had your good word yet methinkes I might be as fit a man to governe a Colledge as you to governe a Parish which word strooke Mr. Wren with silence After this Mr. Wren attained to the degree of Doctor and obtained to be Master of Peterhousse and was preferred to be Clerke of the Kings Closet where he got the length of Canterburies foot so exactly that the freshmen of Cambridge smelt his Bishopricke at least two or three yeares before it fell knowing him to be a notable craftie insinuating fellow as they would often say among themselves 3. His bringing Latine Service into the Colledge THis wicked Wren being Master of Peter-house Colledge and Clerke of the Kings Closet besides other preferments being intimately familiar with Canterbury and being a quick-sighted bird and of an active spirit perceived the times drive so hard after Popery he smelt the way to a Bishoprick and studied nothing more than to please the Papists and Canterbury and among other devises he was noted to be either the first or one of them who brought in use againe Latine service in his Colledge thinking that young Students being trained up therein and used thereto would be an introduction to Latin service in Churches which when he should come to be Archbishop might be effected and in the meane time thought it would be excusable if any question should arise because the Rubrick of the Service book doth allow private prayers in any tongue that they themselves doe understand perhaps intending forrainers and strangers Churches here in England which words he spied and wrested to his own advantage and so brought up Latine Service in Peter-house and by his example some other Colledges did the like 4. His introducing Altars and bowing thereto ANother of his feats and that no small one to please Canterbury was the bringing in of an Altar which was the direct way to the bringing in of Masse for in vain should the Prelatists Papists labour to bring in the Masse if there should not first way be made for to bring in an Altar which after that they had but gotten that and Latine service and that both these were well setled and all quiet the work were more than almost done for how easie were it for the Priest having an Altar and Latine service to say Masse there being so little difference and the Countrey people so unable to distinguish them or to discerne the diversitie between Latine service and Latine Masse and how easie were it for the Prelatists to dispute and cavill upon transubstantiation especially when Controversies must be decided by Bishops anâ— Archbishops and they to have power of undoing other Ministers that should oppose them all which this wicked Wren well knowing he first practiseth to bring in an Altar and to doe it smoothly he first for many causes him moving makes an Altar of a Table and tumes it Altar-wise that so it may have an Altars place and after that it onely wants the name and for that purpose he will not all on a sudden baptize it anew but first promiscuously confounds the names of Table and Altar calling it sometimes one sometimes another and an Altar in one sense and a Table in another that so at last he might call it an Altar altogether and then being an Altar indeed and having both name and place the materialls if need be might easily be changed from wood to stone and so having Latine service or Masses a Priest an oblation as one of his Chaplains called it and an Altar theâ— wanted nothing that could give the
Pope and Canterbury content but onely worshipping the Host or Sacrament which himselfe practised and performed in his own person as hath been proved before a Committee and bowing to the Altar which he and all his and many others did so that hereby he had almost done all that could be desired by the Jesuites or requisite for a reconciliation to Rome 5. His being made Bishop of Herefore THese things being so bravely performed and handled with such dexterity and admirable skill gave Canterburyes little grace such Archcontent to see his little bird so active nimble stirring and so reall he thought to requite him well both for his reward and encouragement and to animate others to follow his steps and likewise to enable him to doe more and greater service he plods with might and maine to advance this wicked Wren and the Bishoprick of Hereford falling then voyd he with all hast and speed procures him to be made Bishop and so he is immediately and now the little bird having done his Arch-grace so great and such illaudable service he is gotten into his Pontificalibus and so having him for his fast friend and ready to promote him higher he studies nothing more than to requite his Grace and to manifest his further deserts 6. His procuring Cosens to succeed him in the Colledge ANd to shew himselfe mindfull of his worke and watchfull care looking as well behind him as before he remembers what service he hath done in his Mastership of the Colledge and considers how conducible to the purpose it will be to leave his like in his place and after much debating with himselfe he can fearce finde in all England an ill lookt Machiavell bad enough to succeed him but Popish Cosens him he pitcheth upon he having lately playd his notorious pranks in silencing Ministers being visiter of Yorke and having long beene knowne to hold Popish opinions to have written Popish Bookes and to have playd many notable Popish parts and persecuted Master Smart and many others for reward of his deeds and furtherance of other services he shall be the man to succeed him he onely of all men in England shall be Master of Peter-house and indeed to say truth of all the wretches in England he is most like unto wicked Wren and cursed Canterbury and therefore let him take it and so farewell Fryer 7. His notorious Articles called Wrens Articles AND now this wicked Wren being in his Pontificalibus and having attained to the first step towards the long desired honour and splendour to which his ambitious minde aspired hoping at last to arrive at the very Fastigium of Arch-Prelacy if Gregory come not between his next businesse is to hold his Visitation which that he may doe it laudably to curst Canterburyes content he plods and ponders such mischievous and most abhominable Articles that he and the devill to helpe him could devise and these he intends to foyst upon the poore Churchwardens whom he knowes to be such handtamed slaves to the Prelates his predecessours that the stoutest of them all durst not disobey his Prelate-ships pleasure but nolens volens must obey though to the hazard of their soules or else if any should but so much as dare to refuse he should be beggard and undone by this cruell proud wretch and therefore he very well knowing their necessitated submission lays on load both for them and the Ministers verifying the old saying Set a beggar on horsebacke and beele ride boyond measure so this wicked Wren drawes such Articles as the wisest and learnedst Church-wardens in England could not possibly know how to answer in their presentments and thus he begins his projects 8. His harrowing the Diocesse of Hereford THese Articles though they were most odiously base and more than halfe devillish yet that poore ignorant Countrey durst by no meanes refuse them though they should all have sworne to betray their own Fathers such was the rage and insolency of this cruell proud tyrant and thus having received these Articles and taken the oath they all became Wrens sworne vassalls and bound in conscience upon their oathes to present unto him any man that should discourse prophanely as he esteemed it at meale-time touching Religion or the holy Scripture thereby to make men afraid ever so much as to mention Gods Word or any goodnesse and injoyning an impossibilitie of avoyding manifest perjury in the Church-wardens who could not possibly if they had beene so many Spirits have beene present waiting at so many severall mens Tables at once and likewise they were bound by oath to certifie by their presentment whether the Ministers expounded the holy Scriptures according to the sense of the aâ—ncient Fathers which was a taske requiring Church-wardens better learned than ever Bishop Wren was and rather requiring the Doctors of the Chaire to be Church-wardens and come to Bishop Wrens Visitations And thus it pleased the great wisdome of God to besot this doltish Asse as not to see his owne blind foolishnesse in these and many such like abnominable absurdities put upon the poore Church-wardens Which Articles with his other lewd and tyrannous demeanour made such havock in the Church vexed and molested the Church Officers grieved the people excommunicated presented molested so many innocent people suspended deprived banished begger'd so many honest able religious painfull Ministers that this miscreant wretch the devills Plow-Chuâ—le did even harrow up the whole Countrey so that he brought it into a most miserable case as ever did any Antichristian Prelate 9. His translation to Norwich THis wicked Wren having thus mischievously behaved himselfe in Hereford and having made such hurly burly and such stirres that all the whole Countrey was in griefe vexation and unquietnesse and having swept out by one villanous trick or other by one tyrannicall practise or other all the most painfull honest and lest Ministers and in their places brought in idle drones dumb curres idost Shepheards and Altar-cringing Asses and thereby having rendred the Countrey very flexible and tractable to Arminianisme Papisme Prelatisme or Atheisme partly by feare of his tyranny and cruell practises and partly by taking away their good and faithfull Shepheards who stood in the gap and would be ready to speake for the truth so that the Countrey might seeme very reducible to Popery for any succeedant and being become very disquiet and dangerous for himselfe so odiously hated to reside in it any longer under whose heavy burden and pressure the Countrey groaned in so short a time it was now become high time for that little devill curst Canterbury to bestirre himselfe for his Journeyman Wrens sake and to prevent a forcible detrusion or some such dangerous attempt he thought it best by a timely translation to take him away both to reward his diligent service by promoting him to a better place and to rid him of the cumbersome enterprises he had entred too far into having done all that could be done or desired in that place and also to
make way for his further service to doe as much in another Diocesse he procured with all haste care and diligence his translation to the Diocesse of Norwich too good a nest for such a shamefull uncleane bird 10. His silencing and depriving fiftie or sixtie Ministers AND no sooner was this Matthew mischiefe or wicked Wren settled in the Prelaticall dignity of Norwich and being very mindfull and studious of his Arch-masters will and pleasure and knowing singularly well that nothing could be so pleasing and acceptable to cursed Canterbury as to doe mischiefe enough to persecute all good religious people to oppose all profession of Religion to hinder all good Preaching to root out all practise of Religion to prophane the Sabbath to forbid all Lectures and after-noone Sermons to suspend silence deprive banish imprison and ruine all good Preachers faithfull Pastours honest Ministers and faithfull labourers in Gods harvest that so there might be none left that could teach the Word sincerely truely powerfully none that durst professe and practise Religion honestly uprightly boldly thereby to make way for Popery the onely thing in the world which he knew very well Canterbury desired and aymed at and at which he saw him drive with all his force but presently this ungodly wretch was so far from mending his manners since he left Hereford that rather growing worse by seeing how Canterbury had stuck to him and rewarded his former projects he falls to worke lustily without either feare or wit and prosecutes his purpose so keenely so eagerly as if he were starke madde and not a Minister in the whole Countrey though never so conformable a man if he be but any reasonable Preacher but that he will have him downe and doth so bestirre himselfe that at one Visitation he silenced suspended deprived imprisoned or drave out of the Countrey no lesse than filtie or threescore of the best Ministers in the Countrey all at one clap and turned many of them their wives and children out of all their living and maintenance for any thing he either knew or cared a begging 11. His silencing of Master Ward of Ipswich THis notorious wicked wretch this Matthew mischiefe was in these his wicked acts and lewd enterprises so far from bearing with age reverencing grace regarding learning and true abilities for the Ministery respecting paines or commiserating the wants of families and children that he still without any of these respects aymed principally to doe the most hurt to the best men his care was chiefly to suppresse good men to oppresse religious men to represse all pietie and grace and to impresse his stampe of Arminianisme and Popery in all places where he had to doe Among many other honest good and gracious men who felt the sting of this venomous Scorpions taile that ancient famous good and painfull man Master Ward of Ipswich was one who because he was an able eminent and noted man therefore so much the more at him did this venomous Viper swell and tooke such speech course to bring him downe that he never rested till he had it effected 12. His putting in wicked and corrupt Arminian Ministers AND as this infamous wretch and lewd Prelate was most vehemently circumspect to watch all opportunities to doe all the harme he could in the Church to spie all advantages against all good men to be notoriously subtill in finding faults mightlly aggravating the smallest where he found any wonderfully cunning to make faults where none were desperately wicked to out-face the innocent to suspend honest Ministers for scarce any cause to silence them without a cause not suffering them to preach after-noones without his License which perhaps he would not grant to deprive the best men sometimes for very small causes sometimes and most often for denying his innovations imprisoning degrading banishing for what cause he pleased or meerely for his pleasure the poore men being utterly remedilesse the Arch-antichrist and this his Journeyman Prelate being both so vehemently resolute to sweepe out all that they thought untractable to Popery so to empty the Churches to voyd the Countrey of all good men to make way for innovations and mutations and as he was likewise most eager keene and active to innovate change alter and deforme what he pleased in or concerning the Church to erect Altars to remove Tables to make railes to set up Tapers and Candlesticks golden plate on Altars embroidred and carved images crucifixes Saints pictures and such Babylonicall idolatries so was he most fervently zealous and most wonderfully carefull to introduce a Ministery that should yeeld to all things to bring in such as he knew most certainly to be for all turnes for all purposes for all matters whatsoever should be put upon them such as would be willing to omit preaching to observe bowing crowching cringing to set up Altars to worship Altars to speake for Altars to preach for Altars and to be ready to alter both the Church and themselves at his will and pleasure and frame themselves for all sizes for otherwise though he had been never so wary and circumspect to root out all good Preachers never so active and diligent to bring in innovations and alterations all had been in vaine all to no purpose without this without placing and bringing in such as were for his purpose and therefore this he was most carefull of this he thought would make sure worke for all the rest so that hereby we may be certaine what to thinke of them that he thus brought into Churches 13. His worshipping the Sacrament of his Altar AND thus this Matthew mischiefe or wicked Wren having thus ungraciously effected the most of his damnable plots facinorous acts and idolatrous services practising so much superstition in his owne person and compelled others to the same having rooted out like a wild Bore many hundreds of better men than himselfe having wasted the Church and made havock of the servants of God and having set up so much idolatry and compelled so many thousands to the same to the eternall hazard of their soules partly by sore constraining them to bow downe to his altars and images and partly by sleight and satanicall cunning deluding them in causing all the pewes and seats to be so contrived that the people must of necessitie kneele downe and bow towards the East where he had placed his Altar Altar-wise and having exercised his whole power might and authoritie for the suppressing of powerfull preaching prohibiting all Sundayes after-noone-Sermons weeke-day-Sermons and all catechising except the common Catechisme in the Service-Booke and all exposition of that Catechisme but onely the bare Question and Answer least as he and his Officers said the expounding of the Catechisme and Service-Booke should be as ill as Preaching and commanding all Bells to be rung alike that thereby people should not know where any Sermons were and where onely prayers were and having thus set himselfe wholy against Preaching and not that onely but likewise against prayer not suffering any prayer before Sermons but onely that in the thirty-ninth Canon a notable piece of Canonicall non-sence nor suffering any prayer at all after Sermons but onely Gloria patri c. He grew still more and more rooted in sin and not onely bowed to the Altar but also bowing to the Sacrament and elevating it above his head that the people being behind his back with his face towards the East might see the same above his head as the Priest useth to doe in Masse which the Papists call the elevation of the Host at which elevation they use to fall downe and worship it so that Sathan having fully possest his heart in stead of growing better he waxed continually worse and worse so that it is marvellous to consider that one impe to the devill though he were possessed with a legion of devills should doe him so great service in so short a time 14. His translation to Ely AND now lastly having committed so many outrages and villanies and filled so many Countreys with so much superstition idolatry and Popery and having silenced excommunicated deprived or banished so many honest Ministers besides all others at least fiftie godly learned and painfull Ministers in two yeares space with many more other times and having so playd the arch persecuter that England never had nor heard of the like far worse by many degrees than ever bloudy Bonner or gracelesse Gardiner were their Religion times and lawes considered and compared with this wicked Wrens he grew so hatefully odiously abominable againe to the very vulgar and common people that for feare least Ipswich Sea-men should hurt his satanicall corps he smelt no Mustard and for the safetie of his person was glad some certaine time to make buttons in private standing in great need of his old arch-friend and Master-Prelate once againe to stand his Journeyman-Bishop in some stead by a friendly and timely translation least by some violent mischance or other Gregory should be wronged of his due expectations which his sure friend and Master the arch-prelate not unmindfull of his state nor forgetfull of his services whom he intends for his owne successour at his advancement to the papall chaire if Gregory crosse not them both in the very nick he befriends him with a desired removall to the unwelcomming chaire of Ely where his goodnesse not much encreasing he stayes expecting onely one other translation by the favourable equitie of our Worthies now assembled for such purposes from his chaire of Prelaticall residence to be suspended from all earthly affaires at the triangle posts neere the Church of St. Egidius in campis to which Justice I leave him FINIS MYEDIR