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A64508 A third dialogue between the Pope and a phanatick, concerning affairs in England by the author of the first and second, who is a hearty lover of his prince and country. Hearty lover of his prince and country.; Ferguson, Robert, d. 1714. 1684 (1684) Wing T907A; ESTC R1259 29,364 58

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to inthrone the Good Old Cause without those mighty Engins of Popular Pamphlets and Parliaments and therefore pray proceed in your methods of Propagation for that is the utmost we can hope for in this Age. Ph. Well then I consider that the Cause can never be maintain'd by meer Mechanicks and should we send our Youth to Universities they would be taught Obedience to Statutes and wear off the Natural Abhorrence of white Linnen and Liturgy and thus being disciplin'd in those Seraglio's they would become a kind of Janisaries and be taught to destroy that Religion into which they were Born and this we have found by fatal experiments And therefore to prevent this mischief we have erected our Private Gymnasia and in these Seminaries we Read to our Youth the Politicks and Divinity of Geneva here they are taught the Natural Philosophy and all the Liberal Arts and Sciences of Sedition and Rebellion These Gymnasia are our Spiritual Artillery-Grounds here my Veterane Champions instruct their Young Volunteers in the management of Tongue and Face how to fire a Mouth-granado how to beat all the Points of War upon the Pulpit-drum when to lye in Ambuscade and when to raise their Batteries against the Government how to Vndermine a Throne and Sap the walls of a Cathedral Po. This Essential Policy for neither Popery nor Presbytery can be Propagated without Seminaries and therefore I suppose the design of your Gymnasia was borrowed from Doway and St. Omers which places my Cardinal Bentivoglio ingeniously stiles Military Stations where my Spiritual Souldiery are disciplin'd in the Arts of Holy War and are drawn out from thence to defend the Catholick Cause in England Now you and I may every year send forth our several Detachments from these Spiritual Garrisons and so we may beleaguer the Church of England on Both-sides the only fear is that Lewis should beat up our Quarters in Flanders and Charles should dismantle your Cittadels in England Ph. Besides these Artillery-Companies I have a Flying Squadron of Neutral Clergy quarter'd within the Lines of the Church of England and these by their whispers in the Desk and Noise in the Pulpit do me more service in the Church than all my Doctors in the Synagogue for you know one piece of Ordnance within the Ship whose mouth is directed to the keel if it be well charg'd and fir'd must do more fatal Execution than a thousand shot at two mile distance These men teach their people to clamour against the Canonical Clergy and the Heights of Hierarchy and dispose them for an easie Compliance to the Model of Geneva and therefore upon the first revolution they and their whole Brigades will come over to our Triumphant Banners These men Resemble that Asian Sect which the Turks call the Raphasis who are neither Zealous Musselmen nor devout Christians but according as their humour and Interest move them can Worship either Christ or Mahomet and go indifferently in Pilgrimage to Meccha or Jerusalem Po. These Ecclesiastick Neuters and Lay-trimmers must do you excellent Service and therefore I advise you to Court and admire these men as the Greater Saints and Wiser Subjects for they must be Zealous Loyallists who uphold the Height and Honour of a Government but men of Cold and Trimming Tempers will betray it with Indifferency and Moderation and look upon its Ruine with half a smile What were they who ruin'd my Authority in England in the days of Henry the Eighth but Trimming Papists What were my Gibellines that shaked the Papacy in the Thirteenth Century but Prudential Catholicks And those Bishops in the Councel of Constance and the Basilisks of Basil who usurp't the Prerogative of deposing Popes and Decreed Me Inferior to a General Councel were all Romish Trimmers and therefore why should not the Church of England suffer by Trimmers as well as the Church of Rome Ph. Sir Let me alone to make my advantage of these mens Tempers But to proceed My most Infallible art to continue the Reputation of the Good Old Cause is the Eminency of a Politick Sanctity and Si vis fallere Plebem finge Deos is as good Latin in England as ever it was at Rome Po. Pray Let me know wherein your Sanctity consists Ph. In Sabboths and Sobriety for as for Faith That relates to things not seen and is a Virtue of it self Invisible Obedience to Superiors is meer Human Courtship and Slavery and therefore doth not become the Privilege and Freedom of Saints Meekness Humility and Charity are all but Good Nature But to be Sober and keep a Sabboth are the most Popular signs of Grace and Sanctity Po. This is as gross a Cheat as the Tears and Bleeding of a Romish Image for if Sobriety be the Grand Essential of Religion Mahomet was a diviner Prophet than Jesus for he was so far from Turning Water into Wine that his Alcoran has Turn'd Wine into Water and not only denied his Disciples the whole Firkins but doth not allow them the juyce of one single Grape And if to keep a Sabboth be the Great Character of a Saint the Jew is as much a Christian as you Ph. Alass this is too fine and Metaphysical for the Pia Maters of the Unthinking Crowd and notwithstanding these reasons the Cheat is popular and must prevail a Stanch and demure Assassin will pass for a greater Saint in the opinion of the Vulgus than a Damning Carowsing Cavalier and he who like the Pharisee can spend the whole Sabboth in Synagogues and Long-prayers may Plot against Caesar and Rob Widows Houses for six days after and yet keep the Reputation of a Saint Po. I know that a Reserv'd soberness must command the Peoples Veneration but I most admire how you can Impose upon them that Melancholy Imposture of Sabbatizing Your Turkish Brethren when the Prayers of their Mosques are ended can upon their Sabboth return to their common business without the least charge of Profanation The Jews in Barbary after their devotions of the Synagogue do spend the rest of their Sabboth in the utmost Gaiety and briskest festivity Your Dutch Brethren make no more scruple of Taverns or Tables upon a Sunday than they did in burning the ships at Chattam The whole Catholick Church did never look upon the Sunday as a Jewish Sabboth but a Christian Festival indeed they always took care for the Solemnities of publick Religion but when those Devotions of the day were ended it did never forbid any Innocent Mirth or diversion but thought that Agreeable to so great a fesival Your ancient Canons under King Edgar did enjoyn that upon the Sunday all people should abstain from Trade or Merchandize they thought there was too much busie Care and Uneasiness in those affairs to consist with the chearful diversions of a Festival and it was wisely provided by the Law of Canutus that no Criminal should be put to death upon the Lords day for such Executions of Justice were Acts and Spectacles
thank you for the caution for I confess I have spoke more affronting words against the King than I dare speak of a Peer Po. But Dukes and Peers apart What hopes have you in a Parliament I know you have been us'd to Worship the Gods of the Valley and if the Numen's of the Lower House deceive you you have nothing to expect but Ruine Ph. It is not long since that I was as much afraid of a Parliament as ever you were of a General Councel for the first discovery of our Conspiracy fill'd the Nation with so much noise and horrour that all my Esquadron Volante of Neuters and Trimmers deserted me and I was forced to live in Chimnies and Grott's and wished my self in Coal-mines and if the King had called a Parliament at That juncture I durst not have appeared in Elections and all my Patriots had such a Panick fear of Carts and Scaffolds that they could not have been perswaded to mount the Chair in that unlucky Crisis but since that storm is so happily blown over I 'm even resolv'd for England again and when the Law of necessity shall oblige the King to Summon a Parliament to cry To your Tents O Israel and if it be in the power of Purse or Perjury I will take such a course that the Blood of the Commons shall be Enquir'd for without giving one Penny to the Crown Po. But do you think the King will ever give you the advantage to sit at Westminster Ph. Alas our Old seat at Westminster is now no great advantage for the True-Protestant part of the City is grown so Tame that they could see their Charter condemned without the Gallantry of a Tumult though the passing that sentence was a greater Judgment than the Plague London has lost her Old brave Cries of Justice Justice no evil Councellors Will you buy any Crown and Bishops Lands The City Trained-hands as the Case stands now would be more ready to Guard the five Members to the Tower than to secure them in the Town My only hope is in another House of One and Forty for Stephens Chappel is as Sacred to me as the Chappel of Loretto is to you It has been Antiently the Shrine of the Good Old Cause and like the Senate-house at Rome it has been Consecrated with the Blood of Caesar Here has been so much Breath exhaled in Popular Harangues that the inner Plaister of the Walls is nothing but Congealed Treason and hence proceeds that Magical power that the very Air of the Old-house has left a Republican Tincture behind it and no Member can escape that Influence but such as are drunk with Elixir Regale I have known several Gentlemen in former times who when they were first chosen Members of Parliament could discourse of nothing but Monarchy and Prerogative but after they had breathed a few months in this Temple of our Diana they returned with as cool and popular a temper as if they had sat in the Stadthouse at Amsterdam But I am much concerned at the decays of this House I am afraid it should presage the declining of the sovereignty of the Commons elsewhere and the ruine of the Good Old Cause and therefore I intend to advise my Representatives to vote the Repair of those dilapidations for fear the walls should drop and Stephen should Stone the Elders But if the Majority of the next house of Commons should be adorers of the Crown and Church I might be ruined by my own precedents for such a House may pack a Tory Committee of Elections and I have taught That Divan in former Times such an Arbitrary way of proceeding that they had got a Trick to Elect and Reprobate whom they pleased without any Appeal from their supreme judgment and so by my own method all my Members would be excluded and not one Saint left in the Sanhedrim but there are so many mischievous consequences of a Cavaliering House of Commons that I dare not fancy the Possibility of such an Assembly Po. Well I see but small hopes of effecting our designs in this Age but pray Study some Arts to keep up the Good Old Cause that it may not sink into its Primitive Nothing but may be preserved in being 'till a more fortunate juncture for as the Good Old Cause can never prosper in England without the Name and Noise of Popery so Popery cannot work without the Fanatick Tools of the Good Old Cause Ph. Never fear I don't question but to continue the Existence of the Good Old Cause as long as you can maintain your Succession to the Triple Crown for I have many Artifices to this purpose Po. Pray let me understand your Arts. Ph. First then in all that Noble Science of Popular Delusion there is not a greater charm than Religious Cant for you know the greatest part of Mankind are most influenced by Passion and Fancy and there are few such Sages as to regard the dull Oracles of Truth and Sobernesses for suppose I should teach my Disciples that the great design of Christianity was to teach the World the serious pursuit of Peace and Holiness and that a holy and peaceable Temper would best serve the quiet of our own Minds the Interest of Society and Government and would be the most Rational Preparation for that Life and Communion of Angels alass Sir such solemn Divinity as this spoken with an Apostolical Gravity would have no more effect upon the Crowd than the Kings Speeches have had sometimes upon the House of Commons but by my Theatrical Arts and Enthusiastick Divinity I can Preach the Throng into Raptures and Extacies and mount their Souls three Stories higher than Pauls and then with One sad Grimace and Lureing Tone make them Stoop in a Moment I can when I please Preach them into Conflagrations of Zeal or Inundations of Tears or howle them into Hurricanes and Storms of Sighs and Groans and all this by a mysterious Screw of the Face and the Eccho's of a Passionate Noise Po. I have heard that you do equal if not excell my Jesuits in this Art of Popular Enchantment pray give me the diversion of a short Essay of this nature Ph. Well then first for the true set of the Face D' you mark the Semicircles of the Eyes the Triangles and Parallelograms of the Mouth and Face Po. Ha ha ha bring your Face to rights again for I shall laugh lowd enough for a discovery But now let 's have a tast of your Canting Ph. Be not troubled in mind to be sad and sorrowful is the sign of an ill-thriving Christian Crying is a Childish trick a Christian out of long Coats would be asham'd on 't Do but wait a while the day is coming when Christ shall play no more at hide and seek with his Saints when all Christs business beyond Sea shall be done When he shall say come Jaylors bring all those my Enemies before me Prelates Malignants Kings Nobles Gentry Po. This Cheat must do I