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A95590 VVestminster Fayre, newly proclaimed. My muse thus venters [sic] to open her ware, and bids you welcome to Westminster Fayre. Wherein, votes, orders, ordinances, this September, are to be sold, with many a rotten Member, a Parliament man; I need say no more: a close committee-man that loves a w- a sequestrator; sure the Devill's not worse then an excise-man, far a greater curse: only a pursuivant, to make hell full, the country poore, the city a meere gull. T'is but a penny, in: too small a fee, to sell you spectacles, these strange sights t'see. Taylor, John, 1580-1653. 1647 (1647) Wing T529; Thomason E407_43; ESTC R203759 3,488 8

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VVESTMINSTER FAYRE Newly Proclaimed My Muse thus venters to open her Ware And bids you welcome to Westminster Fayre WHEREIN Votes Orders Ordinances this September Are to be sold with many a rotten Member A Parliament Man I need say no more A close Committee-man that loves a W A Sequestrator sure the Devill 's not worse Then an Excise man far a greater curse Only a Pursuivant to make Hell full The Country poore the City a meere gull T' is but a penny in too small a fee To sell you Spectacles these strange sights t' see Printed in Kings-street 22. Sept. 1647. Westminster Fayre Sound Drummes and Trumpets O yes O yes O yes I cry Parliament wares good people buy IT is Decreed and Ordered by the Synod of Divines assembled in holy Convocation for the Reformation of Moses Law Davids Psalmes the Apostles Creed and the New Testament c. That this Fayre now consecrated shall foorthwith begin wherein all their Synodicall const●utions learned and pious debates consultations and conclusions besides Votes Ordinances and Orders shall be set to sale for the present payment of the Army without further delay and the remayning summes to be put into a large Chest with 4. Lockes the Keyes whereof shall be kept by a Committee of 4. of the holy Synod viz. by Corah Edwards Ananias Gouge Dathan Burges and Abiram Byfield and they the sayd Commissioners shall carefully keepe and preserve all profits arising from the sayd Fayre in sale of all the sayd Commodities heereafter mentioned for payment of the Army for transportation into New England or Virginia in case the Army will not disband there to newplant a Presbyterian Nurcery and to build us stately Palaces and buy us all things necessary for our intended journey That if we shall have any remayning gaynes or summes the premises above considered that a moyity goe to impeached Members whether of the Lords or Commons from time to time that so they may provide them of all necessaries to goe with us the better to effect so great and pious a Worke and to goe forward with our Reformation there which we are not suffered to finish here with all allacrity joy and comfort and for the more easie comming in of the Countreys to the ●aid Faire that all and every the said Forts Fortifications Halfe-Moones and Brest-workes be speedily flung downe and laide levell with the earth and that those 4. that keep the said Chest before mentioned shall not upon any pretence whatsoever open the same at any time without there bee foure Earles three Lards eight Commons provided they be impeached Members and foure of the most grave sober wise and discreet of the Synod of Divines for the pious uses aforesaid This Faire was no sooner proclaim'd with great solemnity by all the Assembly but the Boothes Shopps and Stalls were presently furnished with all manner of Parliament Commodities as Votes Orders Ordinances New Directories and all the pretty toyes that the whole body of a Kingdome could devise The first Shop I came into was a faire large Roome with goodly Hangings stately stooles and at the upper end an empty Chaire richly imbroydered and two or three at one corner whispering with wri●ings in their hands I askt what they sold there presently one cries out Who buyes any Bishops Lands Come customers come her 's fertile Earth will yeeld As faire a graine as ere was sowne in field Here 's pastures corne and here are well growne woods Her 's Bishops houses all their books and goods Her 's Canterburyes head empty of braines Tak 't in your hands I le sel 't you for small gaines Her 's Altars Railes Organ-pipes and Bellowes Pictures of Saints and other painted fellowes Heer 's Crosses Surplices Miters and Copes Caps Hoods and Rochets beside hempe for * Sacrilegious snares to hang them ropes Would you know how to sway the Royall Throne Live all like Kings and make a King like none I sell that Art of all the Devill ere made You never saw more better at the trade Come buy new tricks new juglings new disclosed To teach you how your King shall be deposed Buy a new Covenant Declaration 'T is as good as ever ruin'd Nation Buy a new Creed for two pence that 's the price 'T will teach you a New way to Paradice Buy a new Directory newly made Buy a Scoth brother now a Reformade Buy a gude King two hundred thousand pounds Jockies must have to cure his * That the Cavileers gave him at Marston moore where hee run away and bid the Deele take the hindmost mickle wounds If you want treasons or confounding plots To ruine Kingdomes or ou●vie the Scots Here buy this Plot and take it on my word It is the best the Devill can afford Her 's a new Plot to fetch you in more Plate And make the Publike Faith renew its state Come buy this J●m sure it cannot harme ye 'T will stop the mouth of your devouring Army Her 's a new Stratagem for the City To pump two M●llions 't is so witty Come Fat-heads buy your hansell's very sure Advance your summes and keep your hands in ure Her 's ayde for Ireland soone shall quell The Rebells there and send them all to hell That you kinde Cuckolds may enjoy their land And pay the Army that they may disband Here is an * Witnesse Tomkins Challoner and the Kings Messenger Ordinance come out to day To take your Lives and your Estates away Another too for Tythes that all must pay Or else to Prison go without delay Here is an Ordinance after all our losses To be revenged on the harmelesse Crosses Here is another the more 's the pity To banish the Cavaliers from the City An Ordinance too good heaven forbid the banes Able to turne their very Sw●rds to Kaines Another too a lamentable story That no man shall deride the Directory Here is another too see it I pray To grant the City-brats a Holy day With a new trick to keepe the land in union That none but Rebells receive the Communion This made the people when we caus'd the stirre Prophanely call us Gods of Westminster Then cride another Sir what will ye buy I pray step in and do not so passe by Here 's a Bunch of Lords impeach'd of Treason Come buy them quickly while they are inseason See for your love and for your money ●uy Name what you want I le fit you presently Buy fairings for your Children here are toyes Fit for your purpose be they girles or boyes Here 's Parliament Vestments of all sorts and sizes You may have here at very easie prizes Many a storme and shower they will abide Besides a World of knavery they will hide Sir looke upon them view them at your leasure The price is small and they 'l do you great pleasure Here is King Pyms robe th' price not very great And no Excize on 't as he set on Meate Though he hath worn 't it 's nere the worse for wearing Girt it but close you need not feare the tearing Her 's Fasting-dayes like thinchapt Jackalent Shall helpe you at a pinch when all is spent And her 's a new day of Humiliation Shall humble all this sortish Nation Her 's a new Ordinance now fetch about To fling downe the workes to let the Cuckow out Of this new Gottam that will no more advance The Souldiers pay but their owne ignorance Another o th' Synod there standing by With an extended throat and mouth did cry Who buyes the Holy Ghost pray come away Give money quickly for I cannot stay What all passe by 't is strange Time turnes her wheele And bends her brow upon us that wee feel No hansale yet our Ware 's bewitched sure And like our selves ther 's none will it endure It s doom'd to dismall Fate dispis'd and scorn'd Though nere so costly or so much adorn'd Here 's omne vale yet no money flies Our Wares dog-cheape and thus our credit dies For such a Faire I never did behold Wee bring our Ware but nothing can be sold I wonder cry'd one what was our intent To keepe this Faire so neare the Parliament For wee are mocked here by sancy Jacks That bid the Pedlars to put up their packs Wee thought our Ware would sell at any price And off our hands been vented in a trice That this last Act upon the English Stage Would forded money for our Pilgrimage Unto new England brethren jog away Lest that the Army give us all our pay With that a Messenger came running through th' crowde And to the Synod thus he spake aloud To Tyburne or new England chuse you whether To one you must you may go altogether For all the Lawes o th' Land you have out run And I come here to tell you what is done The King and the Army will cast you from your spheare For dire aspects that you have caused there You are disvoted and from hence are hurl'd To lie like stars shot on the lower world Your Wares not worth a sart for all your cogging See where the hangman comes away be jogging With that like men of senses quite bereft They trudg'd away and all this stuffe they left A friend of mine to me did then repaire Desiring me to write this famous Faire Which I have done and put it here to sell Buy then this Faire on me and so farewell Die Sab. Septem 22. 1647. It is Ordered by the House that thankes be given to the Author of this learned peece entituled Westminster Faire and that it be forthwith printed and published and that no Pursuivant or other Officer hinder the free sale thereof Tho. Tel-treath Cler to the abused Commons FINIS