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A43641 The Trimmer, his friendly debate with the Observator concerning uniformity rendition of charters, the House of Commons, not a house of courtiers, and twenty things more, not worth the rehearsal in a title page, though it be common policy of some authors or booksellers to wheedle men in to th' exchange of money for books, by putting more in the title-page, then you shall find in the book, and (like the Observator) more in the contents then in the chapter. Hickeringill, Edmund, 1631-1708. 1683 (1683) Wing H1830A; ESTC R10851 22,860 20

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the Ladder if Corporations shall have no Officers nor any to Elect Parliament-men or to make returns when they are Elected but only whom the Court shall approve nominate or at least confirm then the third estate and great estate of this Realm in the Money business especially shall not nay cannot be called longer the House of Commons but House of Courtiers Obs E dad Trimmer you are a perillous Trimmer I see and would hinder the Loyalty of Corporations from surrendring their old Charters for new ones and better with only this addition they shall hold their Freedoms and Liberties quamdiu se benè gesserint as long as they are good Boys and chuse none but whom the Court does approve Trim. We have a good and gracious King God grant he may overlive all the Men now in England and from the Policy and bounty of Kings and time out of mind of man to the contrary Liberties and Freedoms have been granted to Corporations and particularly that of chusing Burgesses in Burroughs so that no History can trace its original and beginning more than the head of Nile and all English-mens rights are so confirm'd by Magna Charta and many other Statutes that it has alwaies been accounted Treason to endeavour the alteration of the fundamental Laws and no doubt but Justice will in time find men out if they endeavour it lurk where they will short-sighted Projecters are they that would pull down Foundations and Corner-stones in hopes to save their own heads when it is the nearest way and shortest way they could take to Tyburn if they should run for a Wager Obs Why Who endeavours to take away Foundations Trim. All they that by any means whatsoever endeavour to make the House of Commons the House of Courtiers Why does his sacred Majesty of blessed memory so commend the constitution of our well-pois'd Government above all the nations of the world saying That to prevent Anarchy we have a King and House of Lords to poise and ballance the House of Commons to prevent Arbitrary Power and Tyranny we have a House of Lords and House of Commons and to prevent the worst of Tyrannies Aristocracy we have a King and House of Commons which if turned to a House of Courtiers where 's the poise where 's the Ballance Obs But we have a just and gracious King that will wrong no man Trim. And long may he live and reign but the King cannot see with his own Eyes every where but the Law is omniscient and omnipresent in England or should be so to decide all Causes and shelter good Subjects and punish the bad Obs Why Can any man be a bad Subject that is for the King or a good Subject that is against him Trim. No It is impossible that a good man can be against the King or a Rebel and also impossible that a bad man can be for the King Obs Why Are not all these Debauchees Whore-masters Cursers Drunkards Swearers and Blasphemers whom we call true Tory-Boys are not they I say for the King Trim. No no they are the worst Enemies that the Crown of England can possibly have not only by being open Enemies to God and consequently pulling down his Wrath Judgments and Indignation upon the Kingdom no small piece of Treachery but to gratifie their Lusts and Revenge are always with their hasty heady rash precipitate and sanguinary Councils disobliging Mankind as well as God Humanity as well as Divinity with their firm hardy and unalterable Determination of Execution Execution Obs Oh! Your humble Servant Trimmer you are not for putting the Laws in Execution against Nonconformists to Uniformity the Act for Uniformity Trim. No not except it be put in Execution against Tory-Nonconformists equally impartially indifferently and as severely as against Whigg-Nonconformists Obs E dad it is all one to me for I am for the Church of England and am not a Papist of the Church of Rome nor do I side with that Religion or so much as meddle with it Trim. We 'll do with you herein as with great Travellers when they tell things scarcely credible better believe it than go to see it is not worth the Privy-search though of the two it would be for your honour rather to be of the worst Religion than of none at all and rather ridicule all sober sense and the fundamental Laws as a well-meaning Papist and Zealot than if as a base Hireling only to provide for your Belly as you confess Obs E dad I am for Uniformity Trim. I do not concern my self nor does any wise or sober man concern himself who or what thou art for further than to be glad thou art not for his side for such as you only discredit the cause you would promote be it never so good Obs I am not for the good old Cause every body knows that Trim. All the better or rather more is the pity Obs Why so Trim. Because thou wouldst then be a Promoter Obs I hate and scorn the Office so inconsistent with a Gentleman and a Man of Honour Trim. I say thou art a Promoter Obs Bear witness I wish I had honest Nat. here or some of his Country-men to bear witness Trim. Call whom thou wilt I say again thou art a Promoter Obs Of what You mean Roguishly do you mean I am a Promoter of close assignations to bring things and things together Anglicè a Pimp But E dad a Pimp is ten times a better Trade and a safer Trade as well as an honester Trade you think than a Spy or Observator no man is hang'd for pimping but preferred many times the right way and advanc'd whereas commonly the Gallows takes the last view of a Spy or Observator A Promoter I scorn it Trim. I say again Thou art a Promoter Obs Of what Trim. Of the good Old Cause Obs I gave thee the Lye just now after another great example in Print and E dad again God forgive me I was just going to swear you lye Trim. By my truly you could not promote the good Old cause more if you would hang your self than by appearing against it though the favour merits no thanks from the Non-con's nor blame from the Con's because you meant it not Do men gather Grapes of Thorns Nor can they expect any good from an old weather-beaten Weather-cock an old any thing an old every thing but what is vertuous an old goatish and therefore goutish Observator That as you say Dec. 30. 1682. ' Because the Observator has got the Pox in his Bones therefore the Devil is in the Trimmers or the good old Cause you might have added why thou canst not live without teasing somthing or other And every Twinge in your Toe breeds a Maggot in your Head 'T is the very humour of the damn'd to revenge the fire in their own Tails upon any thing that 's next them Obs Those are my own words I taught you Satyr Trim. I durst not otherwise Nay I would
be against Execution bold and hardy Execution yet once more before you die Obs Never never since my Councils and Observations were the Charts we steer'd by we have got the weather-gage ay dad and right afore it Trim. Plume not your self on that score for nothing is so changeable as the wind Obs I tell thee Trimmer my steady Councils are firm as a Rock Trim. So Dionysius said that his Party was ti'd to him with Chains of Adamant you do not know the world so much as you boast of if you know not that its affections are more inconstant then those of Women its glories fading as beauty youth or strength nothing constant but unconstancy on this side the Moon not that I do not pray against all change nor will I meddle with them that are given to it but that single instance at Lynn-Regis may alone make you in love with moderating and mitigating Councils as long as you live Obs You could not honour me nor my memory more then in that single instance the only convincing Evidence of my Loyalty ay dad I ' scap't fair I cannot but tremble to think on 't yet Trim. They were of the wrong side that condemn'd you indeed but you were condemn'd by their Law of Arms I do not say justly but would think the contrary yet Loyalty is one thing and Treachery is another does not all posterity commend the Roman General that sent bound a treacherous villain to Pyrrhus whom the wretch promised to slay scorning to be reveng'd of his Enemy by foul play or if he lov'd the Treason he hated the Traytor We must not do evil that good may come thereof Obs Dare you say it is evil to ruine Rebels Trim. Not by fair War but Observators or Spies that come under colour of Friendship into an Enemies Camp have by all Nations been abhor'd as contrary to the Laws of Arms and hang'd up immediately Obs And for that cause you think my Loyalty is well enough rewarded if it compound for the Treachery Trim. I say as all men say I love valour in an Enemy and I hate Treachery in a Friend for he is not my Friend that consults not honour nor can Loyalty be meritorious if accompanied with baseness and treachery who but a needy wretch will be a Spy or Observator Obs Ay dad I shall admire my Sagacity the better as long as I live for this Trick have I not prophecied right all along who it is that smote me Ay dad I see plainly now even to demonstration true it is that the reason why I have not been prefer'd and advanc't according to my merits is the whispers and sly insinuations of such Trimmers suggestions as this is which has put a spoke in my Ladder ay dad that has kept me down from rising thus long a man of my sufficiencies usefulness and abilities Trim. You may be mounted yet before you die Obs I do not know that but I know what you mean And I fear no Colours I scap't narrowly once though ay dad but my learning has been so beneficial to the Clergy that ay dad they are ingrateful that deny me the benefit of the Clergy let the worst come to the worst Trim. But you that have been so near the Gallows already for being a busy Observator or Spy should by this time have learn to be so wise for your self as not alwaies to be spitting nothing but fire out of your mouth breathing vengeance and howling out Execution Execution Obs Ay dad I do not know but it may be well enough yet is Loyalty but a name and a word Is there no such thing Trim. Yes sure there is such a thing and one of the best things in the world next to Obedience to Heaven but my friend is legality but a word neither Is Law Justice and mercy but meer words neither Is there no such things think you in nature Is all the world rul'd with precipitate hasty Heady-Councils hardy Execution Passion Violence Force and Revenge You know that we in England are not so rul'd nor ever were long so rul'd your Predecessor the Observator Tacitus above 1600 years ago observ'd that Brittany bred men that would obey and be good Subjects but were vilely loath to be slaves they would pay legal Taxes but could not endure to be opprest Britannis dilectum ac Tributa injuncta Imperii munera impigrè obeunt si injuria absint has aegrè tolerant jam domiti ut pareant nondum ut serviant The Roman-valour had tam'd them to Obedience but could not enslave them for the hearts of them do what they could CHAP. V. Obs AY dad but some of your Friends in New-England were glad to fly for it as some do now to the Salvage Indians and the Torrid Zone Trim. As the more temperate and hospitable clime of the two when Pillories and Anathema's and Fines and Jayls and the High-Commission-Court made old England too hot for them and this is your Council now Obs Yes Trim. But what were the events of these Councils in those days Obs Ay dad good lusty fines c. and almost beggar'd the Rogues Trim. And enrich't the King and Kingdom Obs No I cannot say that it was thought the contrary and to make such a damp of Trade and the Kings Customs so extenuated and the People generally so discontented that the Parliament Mens-Pockets that should have fill'd the Kings empty Exchequer and paid his vast debts were fill'd rather with grievances grievances the loud groans of the People and cries and lamentations all the Kingdom over But I am the man that has now discover'd another way to the wood would it not be brave to have all Parliament-Men chosen by the King and Court Trim. No It would be so far from brave that it would quite unhinge the Government and lift it up from its old fundamentals and foundation and by seeming to advance it higher shake it and endanger it and ruine that which has been a happy shelter to the Kings and Subjects of England more than any other Kingdom under Heaven Obs There spoke a Trimmer and yet you love the King you pretend Trim. Let him perish that loves him not better then thou dost Obs What better then a Tri'd man that never warpt c. Trim. Never but once when all the Kingdom warpt Obs Well no more of that I know what you mean but enough enough of it Trim. Be it so nor had your fawning Sycophantry and complacence to any thing that is uppermost now been lain in your dish but that you and such as you whose guilt and sins makes you tremble to think of a Parliament an English-Parliament chosen by the People not by the Court makes some seem to think of altering the antient Law and rights of the three Estates of this Realm the very attempt whereof has alwaies been accounted Treason but over Boots over Shooes He that knows he must be hang'd cares not which way he mounts