pulled the Nut out of the Fire with the Cats Foot but both the Action and Design was wholly the Monky's and not the Cat 's and this Gentleman makes so many ugly Grimaces through his whole Pamphlet against all Christian Churches as well as that of England that it is an easie Matter to see who was Master of this Movement 'T is true said he he does sometimes seem to boggle a little at the Deists Arguments brought against the Truth and in Scandal of the Christian Religion but he does it after such a yawning rate that you would believe he were more than half a-sleep when he did it But however it be as to that matter yet all they bring against the Church of England he swallows whole and does not only allow but improve them So that whatver Disguises he would appear under in other Respects yet all that is said against the Church of England is plainly his own and ought to be so esteemed And therefore said he let him put on as many Skins as he will we see his Ears still as the Man knew well enough who it was that stunk though the Woman said 't was her Dog But pray Sir said I how can this be When Page the 8th we are told that he belongs to the Church of England and that it was well for him he was of the Bishop's Church for without a dutiful Allegiance to the Bishops he could not hold the Place he now enjoys I am glad Sir said my Friend to hear that some Men may hold Places under the Church of England that are not of the De Facto-ship And this is the only Instance I think though I believe much against his Will and Knowledge that he has confuted the Objections he made by the Deists against the Church of England For by this Instance he hath let the World see that a Man may hold a Place and yet pay very small Duty to the Bishops Not that I doubt said he but that he is old enough to hold a Place under any Church whatever and be their Shiboleth the Jure Divino or De Facto or any other Title he is wise enough to hold fast what he has only it may be he had rather their Shiboleth were the Title of the People that so the King might hold his Place under him And as for his belonging to the Church of England he may Sir said he for all as I know if you will allow Judas to belong to Jesus and the twelve or Ascarides to belong to the Body of a Man After he had said this Sir said I we will have done if you please with the Title and I will beg the Favour of you to give me your Judgment of the Body of the Discourse Judas It is what I have been long a waiting for Tim. I tell you then Sir said he that if you will believe all this Author says you may believe enough if only what he proves you can believe nothing For if you will not take his Word for his Stories there 's an End of them and I dare boldly say that take ten Pages together through his whole Book and there is hardly one Word of Truth in them or if there be it may honestly be said of him what he colourably says of the Deists Page the 14th that he stretches his Conclusion beyond his Premises The main of his Building is raised on the Shiboleths as he calls them of the Church of England The Doctrine of Non-resistance and the De Facto Title there is a little Colour of Truth in the First in the last there is none at all So that if you do but rightly state the former and barely deny the latter his whole Structure falls about his Ears and he is buried in its Ruins The rest of his Book is most of it Personal Calumniations just said and never proved and for the greatest Part as false as the Foundations of his Building are rotten In short Sir said he it is a Discourse written with that little Truth and less Argument with that incomparable Malice against all settled Churches particularly that of England against Christianity it self in all its holy Mysteries more especially that of the Divinity of our Blessed Saviour that I cannot think those Papers can deserve any better Fate than to expire in a like Place where the Authour 's famous Ancestor Arius did and Sir said he I honestly confess to you that those I had of them have sometimes since given up the Ghost Thus Sir you have heard in part the Thoughts of my Friend upon this Pamphlet pray now before we go any further what are your Thoughts of him Judas Why truly Sir to deal plainly with you I think him a Priest-ridden Ass one that has more Ears than Brains that hears and receives whatsoever the Priests please to put into his Head and has no Judgment to distinguish of things But as for my Friend the Author of this Pamphlet so I call him for so he is I think him next the Honourable S. R. H. the best Distinguisher in the World He had that Acumen Ingenii from his Infancy that he was used to slit Motes in the Sun when he was but four Years old and now he is above threescore he can he says slit a Hair without Spectacles In short Sir I believe that you cannot but see that he has distinguished so nicely between Religion and Priest-Craft that he has made all Ambitious Priests to stink even from Aaron down to this Day And has turned the Edge of the Church of England's Caution to young Travellers Page 5th so sharply against their own Throats that he has distinguished them forever out of their Gains that way by making it plainly appear that there are as many holy Cheats amongst the Clergy of the Church of England as amongst those of Rome And now Sir since you have had my Judgment so freely of your Friend pray let me have yours so of mine and of his Discourse Tim. I will Sir as far as concerns the Church of England but no farther let others answer for themselves And I will do it only on this Supposition too that when I charge this Author with what is said against the Church of England you do not reply that it was said by this or t'other Deist and not by him For besides that this would breed an endless Confusion in our Discourse if the Charge that is made against the Church of England be answered it matters not under whose Name it be done But I cannot think of a juster Way than doing it under this Authors for the Cause and Quarrel is wholly his though like a Coward he hides his own Head and thrusts other Men forward to fight it for him Do not think therefore Sir that in the Judgment I shall give of and Answer I shall make to this Pamphlet that like a Gladiator I will go to fencing with half a dozen Men at once when 't is obvious that all the Thrusts they
hath shall design Tim. And pray Sir let me have my Suppose too if you please Suppose this Bishop does not meet Dr. H. there what then Why then there is an end of this Gentleman's Jest Or suppose he does meet him there and does not ask him why then there is an end of the Gentleman's Argument But suppose he doth both meet him and ask him must all follow what this Man says No surely this great Prelate did never yet see with other Mens Eyes or hear with other Mens Ears and if this Author will have us believe him he ought to give us better Reasons than he has yet why he must begin now If this Man knew of any Grievances in that Diocess from Dr. H's Information he will do well to Name them if he does not Name them 't is plain he cannot for he has Charity enough to do it if he could I only mention this Sir to let you see that allow this Author all the If 's and And 's he can desire yet has he not either Logick or Honesty enough to draw from them one true Conclusion And that it would move a Passion in Job to hear this Grub-street Author undervalue this great Bishop of so profound Learning as a Common-Placer only Page the 14th whom all the Learned World admires between whom and this Crawling Scribler there cannot be the Thousandth part of Comparison for Worth and Learning that there is for Poetry between an Honourable Discriminator and a Ballad-maker In short Sir that which rubs this Man's Back and makes him Kick so hard against this great Bishop is That he is an unfoilable Champion for the Divinity and Satisfaction of our Blessed Saviour and these are Sins of Priest-craft that he will never forgive him Judas But pray Sir can you deny but that the Ambition and Pride of the Clergy has been often the Ruin of this Government What was it as is said Page the 22th but the Insolence of the Priesthood that brought about Father Laud's and Father Peter's Revolutions And Page 26. What an unhappy Effect had the Spirit of Father Laud upon King Charles the First Tim. In answer to this Sir I cannot but observe first of all The Malice of some Men to be bolder than that of the Devil himself For they tell us they believe and yet they tremble at Nothing This Author is an eminent Instance thereof who has not feared to keep his Spite Boiling against this good Bishop for Fifty Years together and by an Inhumane Barbarity like a Wolf or a mad Dog is taring him out of his Grave where he had slept in Peace for so long time after he had fell a Sacrifice to the Rage of such Merciless Wretches as he is What great Reason does this Man give us to believe that he himself did in his Youth mingle his Hands in the Blood of this Sacrifice whose Ashes he is now throwing in the Air as the sport of his Old Age And how does this Wantonness in Cruelty at these years give us just cause also to think that the same Hands and Heart are ready to make the like Oblation in the Blood of the Priests of the same Church now For the older Satan grows they say still the more Devil Thus when Men have once lost their Christianity their Bowels like those of Judas and Arius quickly gush out and all Pity Compassion and Common Charity with them But maugre all this Man's Spite the Piety and Devotion of Archbishop Laud will be Conspicuous to all Ages of which his Diary will be an Everlasting Monument And if he had any Failings it was because he was a Man This Author thinks he has made a notable Jest upon him by calling him Father Laud and joyning him in Company with Father Peters by which he would insinuate that he was a turbulent Papist But all the World knows that this good Bishop was no more a Papist than this Man is a Christian And if by being joined with ill Company makes this Prelate any thing the worse how bad must this Man be who for all as I can see amongst his Numerous Acquaintance keeps no other For if we may guess from his own Confession Page the 5th his Acquaintance are but of two sorts and the first he makes Scandalous for their Lives and the other for their Vnderstandings The first he calls downright Atheists Page the 5th And Page the 14th he makes the others little better than Fools as he might well enough from their Ridiculous Reasonings And he himself is so outragiously mad against all setled Churches in Christendom and upon such weak grounds that he seems to me to be venomously bitten by both of them To conclude this Point Sir It was not Bishop Laud's Counsel to King Charles the First but such Mens Counsels as this is to the People that brought that good Prince to the Block Thus Sir you may see from my Discourse with you on this Pamphlet how little Wit joined with a good Stock of Spite and Malice is required to abuse the best of Men and best of Causes Nay to banter our Blessed Saviour himself the Christian Religion and all the Holy Mysteries thereof with the whole Body of Christians from our Saviour's Time down to this day as well as the Clergy of the Church of England But however such scurrilous Writings may make some Impression upon Men of sickly Brains and crazed Religion yet upon Men of stronger Understandings and sounder Piety it has no Influence at all The issue of the whole is They laugh at the Jest and despise the Buffoon Judas But pray Sir let me ask you one Question more if you please before we have done Tim. I am quite tired but if it be but one Question it will not break squares much Judas How can you Sir believe this Author such an Enemy to the Church of England as you have represented him when Page 32. he tells you That he is far from begrudging the Bishops and Clergy that small Maintenance which is by Law Established And that he hopes they have no other Aim in discharging their Offices but to save our Souls by imprinting in our Hearts the Reason the Advantages and Excellency of the Law of Christ c. Tim. Amongst many other matters Sir proposed to my Friend whose judgment I gave you in part at the beginning of this Discourse this was one and I will give you his Answer to me upon it which was as followeth This Author said he in his Travels had doubtless visited the old Satyr who could blow Hot and Cold in a Breath For how does this Poor Maintenance of the Bishops as he calls it here agree with their Royal Stiles Dignities and Greatness which he instances in Page the 6th and 7th as undeniable Arguments of their Pride and Ambition Does not this Man then said he envy the Bishops their Estates But who can believe him after so many malicious Invectives against them and their Power Who can believe
said he this Author can have any grounds to Hope for what he says at last that has read what he said before So that this Gentleman seems to me said my Friend to have the Honesty of the good old Fox who after he had singled out several of the Flock and devoured them wiped his Mouth after Dinner and fell to his Prayers wishing the remainder of the Geese all increase of happiness and that they were double the number upon the Common Thus said my Friend I wonder this good Gentleman in his great Fit of Charity and Devotion had not wished the Estates of the Bishops double also that he might have the pulling of their Feathers and the larger share in the division of their Lands But I tell you Sir continued he with vehemence that there are Thousands and Thousands of us Gentlemen of the Church of England who are not to be baffled out of our Religion by an Irreligious Jest or two We are not Beau's of Sixteen that we should forego our Faith in our Blessed Saviour to hearken to the Buffoonry of an old Infidel Nor shall any Man living perswade us that Estates are proper only for Men that wait at Taverns and Plays and worse Places while those that wait at the Altar of God must Starve or that Thousands of Learned and Honest and Religious Men must want that Fools and Knaves and Atheists may abound We cannot disbelieve the Mysteries of Christianity to hearken to this Man's Reason till he has shewn a little more of it than he has done in this Pamphlet or let it be as good as it will he will have much ado to perswade us that his blasphemous Friend Page 25. can write as good a Moral as our Saviour and the next time he comes up to Parliament it may be will tell us he can live as good a one too But if his Friend said he be so very good at Writing Morals I think this Author would do well to desire him to Write One against malicious Lying and to read it well over himself when it is done For this puts too Keen an Edge upon an ill-natur'd Infidel as well as Divine and is the ugliest sign in the World of a Mean Birth and Narrow Education In fine Sir said he this Man would feign insinuate by one of his Friends as he would have us believe Page 27. That all Religion is wholly lost in the World I pray God said my Friend this be not more this Man's Wish than his Belief But if it be lost I must say said he that of all Men living neither he nor his Friends do seem to me to be the Persons that are ever like to find it But if these Men's Counsels added he and Devices should stand there would quickly be an end of all Religion in the World indeed Pray Sir said I what is your reason for this Opinion Because said he he that has but half an Eye may see that the end of these Men is to bring us all to Deism and to beat out all Revealed Religion But if once Sir said he we come to have no Divine standing Revealed Measure or Rule of Life and Faith he must be quite blind that does not see that a very little time will bring the greatest part of Mankind either to downright Atheism or Idolatry which is as bad and that every Man will make his own God and every Man his own Worship Upon this I replied Surely Sir you mistake when you say that these Men intend to pull down all Revealed Religion For the Author of the Growth of Deism says Page the first That there is no reason why one should suspect the Gospels of Forgery and Page 25. He makes one of his Deists to be convinc'd by a late Book of the Reasonableness of Christianity c. that he was more indebted to Revelation than he thought of And the Author of the Letter to the Deists confesses Page 138. That the generality of Mankind stand in need of some further Assistance than that general Capacity they are naturally endowed with and that considering the many Frailties of Humane Nature some extraordinary Helps may be useful Page 141. And he does not deny in the same Page but that God may convey these Helps by Men extraordinarily Commissioned by him Now this Sir says he Page 138. is pretended at least among Christians to have been done by the Revelation of Jesus Christ And if the History of the Gospel be true he says its Divine Authority cannot be questioned And he believes Page 142. that Christianity has the sairest Pretensions to this of any Religion now in the World To which my Friend answered The Author of the Letter to the Deist Sir said he is the best Interpreter in the World of the Author of the Growth of Deism He is I doubt not as well acquainted with his Mind as his own though if you will believe him not with his Person They were both convinc'd as he says Page 148. of the reality of Revealed Religion by the same Book and are both Converts questionless of the same Make and Size The Author of the Growth of Deism tells us Page 25. that one of his Deists but the Author of the Letter Page 148. tells us with more Honesty or less Caution that it was himself was convinc'd by a late Book called The Reasonableness of Christianity c. that he was more indebted to Revelation than he thought of but yet he tells us in the same Page that he could have written as good a Moral at the Scripture himself and had not his Modesty stood a little in his way I presume would have said a much Better and by Consequence that he could have done as well without it Nay I think verily it had never been mentioned but to insinuate some malicious Suggestions against the Church of England The Author of the Letter receives the Gospel no further than if it be true as an Improvement of Deism Page 144. and so far he is ready for all as I can see Page the 8th to receive what is written by Apollonius or Mahomet That Jesus Christ was Commissioned by God to reveal his Will is he says Page 138. only pretended by Christians and the utmost he will allow to Christianity is Page 142. That it has the fairest Pretensions to Revelation of any Religion now in the World So that our Saviour has only fair Pretensions to a Divine Authority at best and if this Man lived at Constantinople as he does in England who knows whether he might not find out another Fair Pretender there For Page 136. he tells us That something more easie and more evident is still wanting and therefore Page 137. he solicits Mr. Lock to give us a more perfect System of the Laws of Natural Religion It would Sir said my Friend make an Ass speak again to forbid the madness of these Prophets I know not which the Author of this Letter deserves most our Laughter our Pity