Scaffold erected for the purpose stuck round about with a few gréene boughes like an Alehouse booth at a Fayre and couered with two or thrée thréed-bare Carpets for prisoners haue no better to hide the vnhandsomnes of the Carpenters worke the boughes with the very strong breath that was prest out of the vulgar withered like Autumnian leaues dropt to the ground which made the Broken Gentleman to hasten his progresse the more and the rather because Lud and his two sonnes stood in a very cold place waiting for his comming Being vnder the gate there stood one arm'd with an extemporall speech to giue him the onset of his welcome It was not I would you should well know the Clarke of a country parish or the Schoolemaster of a corporate towne the euery yéere has a saying to Master Maior but it was a bird pickt out of purpose amongst the Ludgathians that had the basest and lowdest voice and was able in a Terme time for a throat to giue any prisoner great ods for the bor at the grate this Organ-pipe was â—unde to rore for the rest who with a hye sound glib deliuery made an Encomiastick Paradoxicall Oration in praise of a prison prouing that captiuity was the only blessing that could happen â—o man and that a Politick Bankrupt because he makes himselfe for euer by his owne wit is able to liue in any common wealth and deserues to go vp the ladder of promotion wheÌ„ fiue hundred shallowpâ—ted feollwes shall be turnd off The poore Orator hauing made vp his mouth Bankruptisme gaue him very good words a handful or two of thanks vowing he would euer liue in his debt At which all the prisoners rending the ayre with shouts the key was turnd vp in state was he led into king Luds house of Bondage to suruey the building and to take possession of the lodgings where he no sooner enâ—red but a â—usty peale of welcomes was shot out of Kannes in stead of Canons and though the powder was excéeding wet yet off they went thick and thréefold The day was proclaymed Holiday in all the wardes euery prisoner swore if he would stay amongst them they would take no order about their debts because they would lye by it too and for that purpose swaâ—md about him like Bées about Comfit-makers and were drunke according to all the learned rules of Drunkennes as Vpsy-Freeze Craâ—bo Parmizant c. the pimples of this ranck and full-humord ioy rising thus in their faces because they all knew that though he himselfe was broken the linings of his bags were whole though he had no conscience but a crackt one yet he had crownes that were â—ound None of all these â—ookes could fasten him to them he was like their clocks to strike in more places than one though he knew many Citizens hated him and that if he were encountred by some of them it might cost him déere yet vnder so good a protection did he go as he said because he owed no ill will euen to those that most sought his vndoing and therefore tooke his leaue of the house with promise to be with them or send to theÌ„ once euery quarter at the least So that now by his wise instructions if a Puny were there amongst them he might learne more cases and more quiddits in law within seuen dayes that he does at his Inne in fourtéene moneths The Politician béeing thus got into the City caries himself to discreetly that he steales into the hearts of many In words is he circumspect in lookes graue in attire ciuill in diet temperate in company affable in his affaires serious and so cunningly dooes he lay on these colours that in the end he is welcome to and familiar with the best So that now there is not any one of all the twelue Companies in which at one time or other there are not those that haue forsaken their owne Hall to be frée of his yea some of your best Shop-kéepers hath he entited to shut themselues vp from the cares and busines of the world to liue a priuate life nay there is not any great and famous Streete in the City wherein there hath not or now doth not dwell some one or other that hold the points of his Religion For you must vnderstand that the Politick Bankrupt is a Harpy that lookes smoothly a Hyena that enchants subtilly a Mermaid that sings swéetly and a Cameleon that can put himselfe into all colours Sometimes hée 's a Puritane he sweares by nothing but Indéede or rather does not sweare at alâ— and wrapping his crafty Serpents body in the cloake of Religion he does those acts that would become none but a Diuell Sometimes hee 's a Protestant and deales iustly with all men till he sée his time but in the end he turnes Turke Because you shall beléeue me I will giue you his length by the Scale and Anatomize his body from head to foote Héere it is Whether he be a Tradesman or a Marchant when he first sets himselfe vp and séekes to get the world into his hands yet not to go out of the City or first talks of Countries he neuer saw vpon the Change he will be sure to kéepe his dayes of payments more truly then Lawyers kéepe their Termes or than Executors kéepe the last lawes that the dead inioyned them to which euen Infidels themselues will not violate his hand goes to his head to his meanest customer to expresse his humilitie he is vp earlier then a Sarieant and downe later then a Constable to proclaime his thrift By such artificiall whéeles as these he winds himselfe vp into the height of rich mens fauors till he grow rich himselfe and when he sées that they dare build vpon his credit knowing the ground to be good he takes vpon him the condition of an Asse to any man that will loade him with gold and vseth his credit like a Ship freighted with all sorts of Merchandize by ventrous Pilots for after he hath gotten into his hands so much of other mens goods or money as will fill him to the vpper deck away he sayles with it and politickly runnes himselfe on ground to make the world beléeue he had sufferd shipwrack Then flyes he out like an Irish rebell and kéepes aloofe hiding his head when he cannot hide his shame and though he haue fethers on his back puld froÌ„ sundry birds yet to himselfe is he more wretched then the Cuckoo in winter that dares not be séene The troupes of honest Citizens his creditors with whom he hath broken league and hath thus defyed muster themselues together and proclaime open warre their bands consist of tall Yeomen that serue on foot coÌ„manded by certaine Sarieants of their bands who for leading of men are knowne to be of more experieÌ„ce thâ—n the best Low-countrey Captaines In Ambuscado do these lye day night to cut off this enemy to the City if he dare but come
flocks of people must be fed it is impossible to haue some Trades to stand if they should not Lye How quickly after the Art of Lying was once publiquely profest were false Weights and false Measures inuented and they haue since done as much hurt to the inhabitants of Cities as the inuention of Gunnes hath done to their walles for though a Lye haue but short legs like a Dwarfes yet it goes farre in a little time Et crescit eundo and at last prooues a tall fellow the reason is that Truth had euer but one Father but Lyes are a thousand mens Bastards and are begotten euery where Looke vp then Thou thy Countryes Darling and behold what a diuelish Inmate thou hast intertained The Genealogy of Truth is well knowne for she was borne in Heauen and dwels in Heauen Falshood then and Lying must of necessity come out of that hot Country of Hell from the line of Diuels for those two are as opposite as day and darkenes What an vngracious Generation wilt thou mingle with thine if thou draw not this from thée What a number of vnhappy and cursed childrē will be left vpō thy hand for Lying is Father to Falshood and Grandsire to Periury Frawd with two faces is his Daughter a very Monster Treason with haires like Snakes is his kinseman a very Fury how art thou inclos'd with danger The Lye first deceiues thée and to shoote the deceit off cleanly an oath like an Arrow is drawne to the head and that hits the marke If a Lye after it is molded be not smooth enough there is no instrumēt to burnish it but an oath Swearing giues it cullor a bright complexion So that Oathes are Crutches vpon which Lyes like lame soldiers go néede no other pasport Little oathes are able to beare vp great lyes but great Lyes are able to beate downe great Families For oathes are wounds that a man stabs into himselfe yea they are burning words that consume those who kindle them What fooles then are thy Buyers and Sellers to be abused by such hell-hounds Swearing and Forswearing put into their hands perhaps the gaines of a little Siluer but like those pieces which Iudas receiued they are their destruction Welth so gotten is like a trée set in the depth of winter it prospers not But is it possible Thou leader of so great a Kingdome that heretofore so many bonfires of mens bodies should be made before thée in the good quarrell of Trueth and that now thou shouldst take part wish her enemy Haue so many Triple-pointed darts of Treason bin shot at the heads of thy Princes because they would not take Truth out of thy Temples and art thou now in League with false Witches the would kill thée Thou art no Traueler the habit of Lying therefore will not become thée cast it off He that giues a soldier the Lye lookes to receiue the stab but what danger does he run vpon that giues a whole City the Lye yet must I venture to giue it thée Let me tell thée then that Thou doest Lye with Pride and though thou art not so gawdy yet are thou more costly in attiring thy selfe than the Court because Pride is the Queene of Sinnes thou hast chosen her to be thy Concubine and hast begotten many base Sonnes and Daughters vpon her body as Vainglory Curiosity Disobedience Opinion Disdaine c. Pride by thy Lying with her is growne impudent She is now a common Harlot and euery one hath vse of her body The Taylor calls her his Lemman he hath often got her great with child of Phantasticallity and Fashions who no sooner came into the world but the fairest Wiues of thy Tennants snatcht them vp into their armes layd them in their laps and to their brests and after they had plaid with them their pleasure into the country were those two children of the Taylors sent to be nurst vp so that they liue sometimes there but euer and anon with thée Thou doest likewise Lye with Vsury how often hast thou bin found in bed with her How often hath she bin openly disgraced at the Crosse for a Strumpet yet still doest thou kéepe her company and art not ashamed of it because you commit Sinne together euen in those houses that haue paynted posts standing at the Gates What vngodly brats and kindred hath she brought thée for vpon Vsury hast thou begotten Extortion a strong but an vnmannerly child Hardnes of heart a very murderer and Bad Conscience who is so vnruly that he séemes to be sent vnto thée to be thy euerlasting paine Then hath she Sonnes in law and they are all Scriueners those Scriueners haue base sonnes and they are all common Brokers those Brokers likewise send a number into the world they are all Common Theeues All of these may easily giue Armes for they fetch their discent from hell where are as many Gentlemen as in any one place in any kingdome Thou doost lye with sundrie others and committest strange whoredomes which by vse and boldnesse growe so common that they seeme to be no whoredomes at all Yet thine owne abhominations would not appeare so vilely but that thou makest thy buildings a Brothelry to others for thou sufferest Religion to lye with Hipocrisie Charity to lye with Ostentation Friendship to lye with Hollow-heartednes the Churle to lye with Simony Iustice to lye with Bribery and last of all Conscience to lye with euerie one So that now shee is full of diseases But thou knowest the medicine for al these Feauers that shake thée be therfore to thy selfe thine owne Phisitian and by strong Pilles purge away this second infection that is breeding vpon thee before it strike to the heart Falshood and Lying thus haue had their day and like Almanackes of the last yeare are now gon out let vs follow them a step or two farther to see how they ride and then if we can leaue them for I perceiue it growes late because Candle-light who is next to enter vpō the stage is making himself ready to act his Comicall Scenes The Chariot then that Lying is drawne in is made al of whetstones Wantonnes and euil custome are his Horses a Foole is the Coachman that driues them a couple of swearing Fencers sometimes leade the Horses by the reynes and sometimes flourish before them to make roome Worshipfully is this Lord of Limbo attended for Knights thīselues follow close at his heeles Mary they are not Post and Poyre-Knightes but one of the Post. Amongst whose traine is shuffled in a company of scambling ignorant Petti-foggars leane Knaues and hungrie for they liue vpon nothing but the scraps of the Law and heere and there like a Prune in White-broth is stucke a spruice but a meer◠prating vnpractised Lawyer◠Clarke all in blacke At the tayle of all when this goodly Pageant is passed by ollow a crowde of euerie trade some amongst whome least we be smothered and bee taken to bee of the same list let vs
downe But the politick Bankrupt barricadoing his Sconce with double locks treble dores inuincible bolts and pieces of â—imber 4. or 5. storyes hye victuals himselfe for a moneth or so and then in the dead of night marches vp higher into the country with bag and baggage parlies then are summond compositions offâ—ed a truce is sometimes taken for 3. or 4. yéeres or which is more common a dishonorable peace séeing no other remedy is on both sides concluded he like the States being the only gayner by such ciuill warres whilst the Citizen that is the lender is the loser Nam crimine ab vno disce omnes looke how much he snatches from one mans â—heaâ—e hée gleanes from euery one if they bée a hundred The victory being thus gotten by basenes trechery back comes he marching with spred colours againe to the City aduances in the open stréete as he did before seâ—s the goods of his neighbor before his face without blushing he iets vp and downe in silks wouen out of other mens stocke féeds deliciously vpoÌ„ other meÌ„s purses rides on his ten pound Geldings in other mens saddles is now a new man made out of wax that 's to say out of those bonds whose seales he most dishonestly hath canceld O veluet-garded Theeues O yea-and-by-nay Cheaters O ciuill ô Graue and Right Worshipfull Couzeners What a wretchednes is it by such steps to clime to a counterfetted happines So to be made for euer is to be vtterly vndone for euer So for a man to saue himselfe is to venture his own damnation like those that laboring by all meanes to escape shipwrack do afterwards desperatly â—rown themselues But alas how rotten at the bottom are buildings thus raised How soone do such leases grow out of date The Third House to them is neuer heard of What slaues then doth mony so purâ—hast make of those who by such wayes thinke to find out perfect fréedome But they are most truly miserable in midst of their ioyes for their neighbors scorne them Strangers poynt at them good men neglect them the rich man will no more trust them the begger in his rage vpbraydeâ— them Yet if this were all this all were nothing O thou that on thy pillow lyke a Spider in his â—oome weauest mischeuous nets beating thy braynes how by casting downe others to rayse vp thy selfe Thou Politick Bankrupt poore rich man thou ill-painted foole when thou art to lye in thy last Inne thy loathsome graue how heauy a loade will thy wealth bée to thy weake corrupted Conscience those heapes of Siluer in telling of which thou hast worne out thy fingers ends will be a passing bell â—olling in thine â—are and calling thée to a fearefull Audit Thou canst not dispose of thy riches but the naming of euery parcell will strike to thy heart worse then the pangs of thy departure thy last will at the last day will be an Inditement to cast thée for thou art guilty of offending those two lawes enacted in the vpper House of heauen which directly forbid thee to steale or to couet thy neighbors goods But this is not all neither for thou lyest on thy bed of death and art not carde for thou goest out of the world and art not lamented thou art put into the last linnen yâ— euer thou shalt weare thy winding-shéete with reproch and art sent into thy Graue with curses he that makes thy Funerall Sermon dares not speake well of thée because he is asham'd to belye the dead and vpon so hate full a fyle doest thou hang the records of thy life that euen when the wormes haue pickt thée to the bare bones those that goe ouer thee will set vpon thée no Epitaph but this Here lyes a knaue Alack this is not the worst neither thy Wife being in the heate of her youth in the pride of her beawty and in all the brauery of a rich London Widow flyes from her nest where she was thus fledg'd before her time the City to shake off the imputation of a Bankrupts Wife and perhaps marries with some GallaÌ„t thy bags then are emptied to hold him vp in riots those hundreds which thou subtilly tookst vp vpon thy bonds do sinfully serue him to pay Tauerne bills and what by knauery thou gotâ—t â—rom honest men is as villanously spent vpon Pandars and Whores thy Widow being thus brought to a low ebbe grows desperat curses her birth her life her fortunes yea perhaps curses thée when thou art in thy euerlasting sléepe her conscience perswading strongly that she is punished from aboue for thy faults and being poore friendlesse comfortlesse she findes no meanes to raise her selfe but by Falling and therfore growes to be a common womaÌ„ Doth not the thought of this torment thée She liues basely by the abuse of that body to maintaine which in costly garments thou didst wrong to thine owne soule nay more to afflict thée thy children are ready to beg their bread in that very place where the father hath sat at his dore in purple and at his boord like Diues surfeting on those dishes which were earnd by the sweat of other mens browes The infortunate Marchant whose estate is swallowed vp by the mercilesse Seas and the prouident Trades-man whom riotous Seruants at home or hard-hearted debters abroad vndermine and euerthrow blotting them with the name of Bankrupts deserue to be pitied and relieued when thou that hast cozend euen thine owne Brother of his Birth-right art laught at and not remembred but in scorne when thou art plagued in thy Generation Be wise therefore you Graue and wealthy Cittizens play with these Whales of the Sea till you escape them that are deuourers of your Merchants hunt these English Wolues to death and rid the land of them for these are the Rats that eate vp the prouision of the people these are the Grashoppers of Egypt that spoyle the Corne-fields of the Husband-man and the rich mans Uineyards they will haue poore Naboths piece of ground from him though they eate a piece of his heart for it These are indéede and none but these the Forreners that liue without the fréedome of your City better than you within it they liue without the freedome of honestly of conscience and of christianitie Ten dicing-houses cheate not yong Gentlemen of so much mony in a years as these do you in a moneth The théefe that dyes at Tyburne for a robbery is not halfe so dangerous a wéede in a Common-wealth as the Politick Bankrupt I would there were a Derick to hang vp him too The Russians haue an excellent custome they beate them on the shinnes that haue mony and will not pay their debts if that law were wâ—ll cudgeld from thence into England Barbar-Surgeons might in a few yéeres build vp a Hall for their Company larger then Powles only with the cure of Bankrupt broken-shinnes I would faine sée a prize set vp that the welfed Usurer and the politick Bankrupt might rayle one against