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A56891 Hell reformed or A glasse for favorits Their falls and complaints also the complaints of princes against their favorits. With the dangerous mischiefes of state politicks, flatterers, suborners, secret accusers, false witnesses, &c. Also the reasons of a devill, why he had rather continue in hell; then returne and live againe on earth. With the acclamations of a testator, for making his will before hee dyed: and his advice to others therein. Also the decree of Lucifer, for reformation. With many other notable passages, worthy observation. Discovered in a vision, by D:F:Q:V: A Spanish knight, of the Order of Saint Iames, and Lord of Ivan-Abad. Published by E:M: gent.; Infierno enmendado. English. Quevedo, Francisco de, 1580-1645.; Messervy, Edward. 1641 (1641) Wing Q189; ESTC R220636 37,547 137

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Prince as hee was But notwithstanding all the Modesty and discreet carriage that I could use in the enjoying of such Gratifications Yet the Fosterers of Envy did murmure and invented false Accusations and detractions against me publishing that I perswaded the contempt of riches to others to the end that the hunger of my unsatiable Covetousnesse should have fewer Competitors And seeing that by little and little the Vigour of my good reputation and prosperity did diminish I tooke a resolution to put my Soule out of trouble and to be no more the Object of the hatred of so many I went to Nero and restored unto him all what hee had given me with all the duty and respect that I could testifie I had such a passion to love and serve him that the threats of his to be redoubted humor whereat some would terrifie me never tooke away my boldnesse to exhort him to vertue nor his unruly actions hindred me not from making those remonstrances unto him to which my loyalty obliged mee And when hee caused murthers and homicides to be committed 't was then that with more vehemency I represented unto him the wounds which he made to his Conscience He caused his Mother to be slaine he fired Rome and reduced it to ashes hee did depopulate the whole Empire of Honest People Piso whence Piso's conspiracy followed which was very well propounded but very ill executed for having beene discovered those who were to execute it were put to Death Those are accidents of the Divine Providence thus to preserve the life of a Prince from those abominable accidents to the end they may know themselves and amend their lives But what Nero could prevent this conspiracy and neverthelesse hee amended not his defects nor left his vices at the same time hee tooke away Lucanus his life Lucanus because hee was a better Poet then he And if he gave mee the choice of what kinde of Death I would die 't was not by any feeling of Pitty but rather of Cruelty he intended to give mee many Deaths in lieu of one for the paine of death was reiterated during the time of the choyce which I was to make besides he propounded to himselfe that suffering effectually that whereof I was to make choice so also I should suffer all the rest in the Terror and Feare which made mee to refuse them I put my selfe in a Bath and causing my Veines to be cut I made expedition of my owne dispatches my selfe to come hither with speed where to augment my mis-fortunes I have found this infamous Prince exercising yet his Cruelties and teaching unto the Devils new torments a-against the Poore Ghosts Then Nero advances Nero's replies against Seneca and with a sterne Visage and shrill Voice It is needfull said he that the Favorit and Tutor should have more learning then the Prince but also it is requisite that he should governe himselfe with respect for to become presumptuous because he hath some advantage of doctrine above him it is a Crime and therefore the Subject that will make it appeare that he is abler then his Soveraigne and that he knowes more then he ought to be punished as being Presumptuous and Insolent Seneca whilst thou didst teach me I preferred thee to all those which were about me and the esteeme that I made of thy Wisedome was one of the principall praises of my Raigne But assoone as thou wouldst have all men to know that thou wert more expert and better able then I a thing which thou shouldst have dissembled more Iudicially thou madest me a Generall scandall through-out all the World and from that time my hatred and Indignation began to kindle against thee That was so displeasing unto me that I had rather a thousand times suffer the torments which are here then to see a Favorit beside me who should make Glory of my shame and get Honour out of my Contempt I call to witnesse all these Princes who are heere Speake Kings draw neere Say have you suffered your Favorits to become so presumptuous as to make it appeare that the capacity of their understanding did exceed yours without correcting them for their Temerity No no answered they all with one voyce it shall never be indured as long as the World will be a World our Successors have promised unto us to remedy that disorder It is true that as long as the Favorite is wise and skilfull and can perswade unto the people that the Prince doth possesse the Talent of governing discreetly and that he workes by himselfe he ought to be Maintained Honoured and Esteemed by his Master But at that instant that Vanity will lead him to cause the contrary to be knowne Farewell all Privacy he deserves to be degraded That Decree hath no relation to me Complaint of Sejanus against Tiberius then said Sejanus though I had a better Wit then Tiberius for I carried my selfe with so much Industry that all was publish'd as done and ordained by his owne Judgement Therefore he acknowledged to be so much obliged to my good services that he made me Peere and Co-partner of his Empire and erected Statues to which he granted Sacred Priviledges My Name was the acclamation of the Roman People my Felicity the Mirth and Joy of the Empire and all Nations made common Vowes and Prayers for the preservation of my Health But when I believed that I was the Favorit who had the greatest share in his Lords affections Tiberius caused me to be taken and to be torne in pieces and forsooke me to the Rage and Fury of the mutineer'd people who held it for an Honour to carry away a piece of my flesh upon the point of their Javelins they dragd me along the streets Yet their incom parable Cruelty went beyond the Bounds of my Sepulcher it went to my Children and caused them to die ignominiously and a Daughter that I had which by reason of the priviledge of Virginity could not bee put to death by Iustice was barbarously condemned first to be ravished by the Hang-man Oh prodigious and then to be beheaded as it was executed It is true that my ruine began the very day that I would prevent the Destinies oppose my selfe to the Power of Fortune and despise Heavenly Providence Then more Sacrilegious then Wise I endeavored to fortifie my selfe against the craft of men causing some to be put to death and others banished Insomuch that I caused Heaven to declare it selfe my Enemy Not contented with that I tooke accesse with the Wicked I made use of the Physitian for Poisons of the Bloody for Revenge of False Witnesses of Vnjust and Corrupted Magistrates But neverthelesse I might say that those outrages were not committed according to my owne will but by vertue of the necessity wherein I was raised and as I propounded unto my selfe that in my fall and undoing I should be forsaken of the Vertuous and and also of the Wicked I made use of these as of
people fit for my ends and I fled from the righteous as from my accusers Neverthelesse even such as I was if Tiberius hath exercised tyranny it hath not beene through my counsels I never induced him to it much lesse approving of him as a Flatterer I have left the effects much more cruell then the condemned have done by the torments of imprisonment and tortures and if I am accused to have persuaded him to cruelty to alienate from him the affections of the people and raise my fortune who shall be named for the author of that which he vsed towards me O Lucifer you must know that Tyrants do discharge themselves of the faults which they commit upon those which they have imployed in such actions for they do expose and sacrifice us very freely to death for to satisfie the peoples outrage when they murmure against them and by that meanes wee suffer the paine for their faults The Histories which recite our disgraces make alwayes vse of these words Ther 's the ordinary end of those who approach too neere the Princes favours insomuch that in every Chronicle our misfortune serves as an advertisement for an ill passage The exalting of a Favorit testifies also the greatnesse of the Prince which doth it to maintaine him neere him and in his Honours It is so much the more to make his good Judgement to appeare in the Choice which hee hath made contrarywise when hee destroyes him 't is to shew the lightnesse and inconstancy of his Spirit and to side with his Adversaries At the same time Plantianus A Complaint of Plantianus Severus his Favorit Severus his Favorit approached whō he had caused to be throwne out of a Window to bee a spectacle unto the people During my life said hee I might well have beene compared to a Fiery Racket which in an instant was elevated in the aire faire flaming and cracking Whiles I held the first ranke I spark led like a Starre in the eyes of the World but that lasted very little I fell presently to the ground and was converted into smoake and ashes After this many other Favorits appeared in a Troope Princes Favorites namely Faustus Favorite unto Pirrhus King of the Epirotes Pyrenus and Cleander Commodus his Favorites Cincinatus Favorite unto Britilus Emperour Rusfus unto Domitian and Ampronisius that of Adrian who were all attentive to the trembling and complayning voice of Belizarius Iuslinians Favorite who being blind as he was had already strooke twice with his staffe and shak'd his head shewing that he demanded audience and when silence was made he said thus It is much more shame for you Complaint of Bellizarius Iustinians Favorite ye Princes to be the executioners of those whom you have promoted then unto us Favorites to undergoe the cruell effects of your inconstancy For my part I served a Wise Prince and Just who taught the meanes to administer Justice and though he was bound to my Valour for the Greatnesse of his Empire his Victories and Triumphs he caused my eyes to be pluck'd out and left me forsaken in an extreame misery even to be reduced to beg my bread in the corner of the Streets And this name of Belizarius which was wont to be proferred for the animating of the Squadrons and to fright the Enemies this name I say whereof the sound and power was worth an Army hath seene himselfe encamp'd upon the pavement and from doore to doore begging almes not knowing of whom The Favor of Princes is like Quick-silver it cannot stay 't is in a perpetuall motion it flies away betwixt your fingers if you will force it 't will convert into vapor when one would make it more sublime it becomes more venemous if you handle it it penetrates to the very bones he that communicates often with it and who workes to get it remaines all his life trembling untill death As he ended these words a great cry was heard of frightfull Groanes and of Helas pronounced by all those who had any feeling of the Quick-silver of Favour which began all to tremble as Aspin leaves and at that instant a Spirit spake these words of the Prophet Habakkuk Prophet Habakkuk speaking to those Princes who are negligent of their duty Wherefore lookest thou upon them that deale treacherously Cap. 1. v. 13. and holdest thy tongue when the wicked devoureth the man that is more righteous then h● And makest men as the fishes of the Sea verse 14. as the creeping things that have no ruler over them Therefore the Law is slacked verse 4. and judgement doth never goe forth for the wicked doth compasse about the righteous therefore wrong judgement proceedeth For the stone shall cry out of the wall Cap. 2. v. 11. and the beame out of the timber shall answer it Whereby is meant that vnsensible things shal reproach you I have made you a recitall of the Prophets threats said the Spirit continewing to make you consider that God makes not so much esteeme of you Great ones that he puts alwayes the chastisements of your errors in the hands of the other Princes and Potentates of the earth or to prodigious successes or to forces exceeding yours but to the most abject vile base and to be despised Admire a little of what Ministers God makes vse of to revenge your outrages vanities and pride he causes vnsensible stones to speake walls and rotten wood from betwixt the joints of the edifices When God will worm-eaten wood the least insects little wormes flies and lice are the Officers of his dreadfull Iustice He had hardly ended his last word when they were faine to run to know whence proceeded another great noise of Cryes and Confused Voices which besotted all the Auditors and as they came neere they saw that 't was the Armes and Sciences who fought together There were persons of eminent quality and neverthelesse of different conditions and divers ages Some strucke with Swords others defended themselves with great Bookes whereof they made use sometimes of Offensive and sometimes of Defensive Armes that 's to say putting of them before their brest in stead of Targets or Plastrons then striking with them furious blowes upon their adversaries eares Soft Soft said one of Lucifers followers beare respect to the Prince of Darknesse Presently the blowes were suspended on either side and then one of the Combatants began to say If you knew the reason wee have to avenge ourselves it may be you should be of our side At that instant appeared Domitianus Commodus Caracalla Phalaris Heliogabalus Alcetus Andronicus Busiris and many other Great Personages Lucifer seeing such a Majesticall Company disposed himselfe to give them all manner of satisfaction which they could desire when a Grave Old man advanced himselfe followed by many others who having beene misused by those Princes and having had the worst had all their faces bloody I am Solon said that Old man Solons Complaint against Tyrants and those
things would hee say If I made some Groane my Sonne believed that I was yielding up the Ghost my Wife commanded that the Hangings should be taken downe and the rest of the Move ables put up my Servant was importunat for his Legacy my Friend ask't how much the silver Plate which I had given him was worth the Slave would have his Freedome because nothing of all that could be executed untill I was dead it appeared that even as I gave and dispersed my goods amongst them even so I ordeyned that they should all wish for my Death And therefore I protest if I came to live againe I would make a Will altogether different from the first I would say I ordeyne that whatsoever my Sonne shall eate of my Goods after my death may be converted into Poison that my Curse may light on his Head and that all that which I leave against my will because I cannot carry it away aswell unto him as unto the rest that the Devill may take possession thereof and carry it away if he can That the Plague Rage or Despaire may choake my Wife Item if I dye I ordeyne that my Slave my have so many stripes with a stirrop lether three times a day That my Wife may make herselfe party against my Physitian accusing him to have beene cause of my Death for I must avow that I am not in charity whch that Wicked Fellow because he hath not contented himselfe to have tormented me being in Health and to have made an end of killing of me being sicke he hath yet persecuted me after Death even as he and the most part of his profession do of those Poore Idiots who abandon themselves unto them to go so much the sooner in the other World For when they have dispatched us and that we are gone they do accuse us of a thousand Imperfections Gods Peace be with him say they his excese of Drinking hath killed him How could we Cure him he was so Disorderly in his diet he was a Mad Man he was a Foole he would not obey the Physitian It was a Rotten Body Cacochyme a Iakes of Infection he lived so ill that it was much better for him to dye his houre was come Oh Theeves Oh Murtherers 't is you that is the Houre for at the instant that you enter in a sicke bodies chamber one may very well say that he shall dye and that His Houre is come Cruell is' t not enough for you to take away the life of a Man and to cause your selves to be paid for his Death as Hangmen do but you must excuse your Ignorance upon the dishonour and Infamy of the Poore Deceased Oh yee living who creepe yet upon Earth learne of me how you ought to make your Wills for if you will practise the method which I taught you just now the Yong will attaine unto Old age and the Old unto Decrepitude you shall all dye Contented and full of dayes and shall not be cut downe in the blossome of your Age by the Doctorall Sithes of the Physitians This Deceased spake with so much vehemency that Lucifer judged he had spoken the Truth but because all Truths are not good to bee said and chiefely amongst Devils who hate it Mortally and fearing lest a greater disorder should happen if the Physitians came to the hearing of those discourses spokē by the deceased to their prejudice Lucifer ordered that he should be gag'd Of necessity silence was made to give eare unto the rumor of a Damned which running like a furious Franticke came and passed through the company crying out Where am I where am I what 's the meaning of this I have beene cousined There are Devills who Tempt others who Damne and others who Torment I have runned and visited all Hell and yet I see not one of those Devills who have brought me hither where are my Devills who hath robbed me of my Devills let my Devills be restored unto me There was never such a stranger thing seene to looke out for Devills in Hell where they are in swarmes and as he did run like one out of his wits the Doüegna tooke him by the arme and stop't him Oh unhappy Ghost if thou wantest Devills heere where dost thou meane to go and looke them He opened his eyes and knowing her who stayed him Oh Ensigne of Belzebub Figure of Sathan An Invective of one of the Damned against a Doüegna Mediatrix for the Damned Assembler of diverse Sexes Heaper up of Vices the Sinners Guide Seasoner and Temperer of Delights and Pleasures Whoredomes Harbinger the Spend-thrifts Prologue the Interpreter and Mediator for the Luxurious where hast thou left the he and she Devills who have brought me hither for I am neither such a Sot nor Idiot that I will be cheated and carried away by these Divels who have tayles and hornes like Oxen who are as smoakie as Pot-hangers who have Swines dugs and Bats wings Those that I looke for are far more wicked they are those Mothers which wound men with their Daughters lanching them forth as venomed darts those Aunts which cause their Neeces to flie up and downe as sparkles of fire those Subtile and Guilefull Lasses who pieerce with their Eyes which they hold as steddy as a Cavalleere doth his Lance those Flatterers who perpetually say yes to all which is desired of them those Sowers of Quarrels and Dissentions who are the Wormes which Gnawes the Rest and Quiet of others those Traders in Lyes who report that which they have not heard affirme that which they know not and sweare that which they believe not Those Slanderers which are the carrion Crowes of the Honour and Credit who fall and feede onely on dead flesh Hypocrites Those Hypocrites who make Profit of Mortification as of a Rent who seeme to be in an Extasis when they are Glutted who publish their Lies for Revelations who make Pulpits of Tables and Banquetts Desarts of Companyes Miracles of Ordinary things who Divine all things after they have beene told them who raise the Living from the Dead who counterfeit to be sick when they should worke and who give people unto the Devill with a Doe grtias Those were the Devills which were cause of my Damnation and thou shalt restore them unto me and finde them out thou cursed Old Woman for they are all hidden under thy Garment Thereupon he takes hold on her there was much adoe to separate them one from the other This Desperate Fellow pulled dragged a long the poore Doüegna insomuch that hee tore the vayle wherein she was wrapt up but Lucifer made them hold their peace with his absolute Power That done a great noise of Hinges and Gates not well oiled was heard with a strange rumor of a great multitude of people Old Women painted the first which appeared were Old Women Painted Presumptuous and Bablers who counterfeited to be joviall and frolicke they laughed and fooled together shewing that they were
not discontented The Secret accuser disliking their carriage fayled not but accused them presently in that their mirth accompanied them even in Hell which was reputed to be a very Criminall trespasse At the instant they were questioned why they were so merry seeing they were of the number of the Damned who have for their portion nothing but Weeping and gnashing of Teeth And then one of the company which resembled Death mounted upon Pattins of halfe an Ell high according to the fashion of the little Ladies and Dames of this age who speaking in the name of all the rest advanced her selfe saying Lord Lucifer comming hither we were very sad and melancholy as much as Old damned Women may bee and so Old and worne out that there is nought else remaining on us but the Markes and the Excrement of yeeres over the Bones but as we saw this inscription which is upon the Gate of this Habitation Here is the abode where there is weeping and gnashing of teeth wee have all beene comforted thinking that if there was no other torments to suffer we should be quit at an easie rate seeing that we are so dry that there is no moisture in us which can produce any teares and besides that we are all toothlesse There may be yet some moisture in your Eyes and some Stumps in your mouthes said the Flatterer therefore your Jolity may bee vaine and of little durance They were visited and found so dry that they were put in Hells Tinder-boxes to serve for Tinder and Matches After them Pernicious obstinate arrived many people of all Conditions Qualities and Offices who began to cry out Gentlemen Gentlemen said they unto the first which they perceived which of you is it who keepes the Register of Recompences shew him unto us before we come in any further Why said then one of the company I thought wee had beene in Hell but since there are here Recompences to be hoped for I see that wee are not there Good good good answered all the multitude A short Ioy a short Ioy replies the Flatterer Good Hell Good Hell therefore 't is to no end to thinke that there are here Registers kept for Recompences where liberality consists nought but in Paines and Torments Neverthelesse wee hoped for them very much said hee who had spoken first How could that bee said the Flatterer I will tell you said the other Certaine people being informed of our Thesis moved with Charity have often endeavoured by Holy Remonstrances to make us alter the course of our Life but being Naturallized unto it we answered them with these reasons What can wee doe lesse Should wee stay that those things which every one keepes so carefully should bee brought unto us And how would you have a Vagabond live who hath neither Master nor Office and who loves to passe away his time with Curtezans at Play and Tavernes if he had not some subtile industry And then hee that gave us those wholsome Counsels seeing our Obstinacy told us The recompence then will be given you in the other World As also when any one of us Courted a Friends Wife abusing of his Confidence and Dishonoring his House and if any shewed them the Enormity and Basenesse of their fact they excused themselves thus What will you have us doe shall we rather goe into houses where wee are watched with a Poignard behind a doore or with a Pistoll then in those where the Entry is so Free easie where I am invited and feasted and where I am trusted and then the party who rebuked us seeing our hardnesse of Heart left us with these words The recompence thereof shall be given you in the other World And because we thought wee had beene arrived in that other World we aske for those recompences which the Vertuous have promised unto us Abominable Rascals said then an Officer of the Soveraigne Iustice how many wicked men are there amongst you who have often abandoned their house and family to the discommodities of want and necessity and to spend and bring to naught all their goods to debaush and corrupt Chastity and to commit a thousand Whoredomes and Adulteries and when they were admonished to take compassion of their Wives and Children they insolently answered Wee have recommended them unto God who will have care of them aswell as of Yong Ravens and other Birds And Infamous Villaines were not you then told that you should receive the recompence in the other World 'T is at this time and in this place that you shall receive Your Recompence Up Cursed come in 't is time Saying that a multitude of Divels tooke Firebrands and began to give them the Recompence promised hoped for which was a liberall ample distribution of Blowes and whilst they complained vomiting forth horrible oathes a voyce was heard which said The Recompence shall be given you in the other World After this tempest many Evill Spirits were seene to approach together with Serjeants Baylifs and Petti-foggers who hauled and dragged bound hand and foot the Thiefs Evill Angell Accusation against the Thieses evill Angell accusing him of a trepasse very Criminall The Lucifer with a fell and cruell looke sitting himselfe in a Chaire of flaming fire with all his Officers about him at the instant a Reporter that 's to say he that hath the Office of rehearsing and informing of a businesse began to say Prince Lucifer her 's a Devill which wee bring unto you accused to be ignorant in the exercise of Devillishnes it is a shame that he should be honoured with the Title and Quality of Devill for he trades in a Function contrary to his Profession seeing that all his worke tends to no other end but to cause men to be saved All the Tribunall started at this word SAVE as being awfull in that place they did all bite their lippes to the very bloud testifying the horror they had thereof and then the Supreme Cursed turning towards his Attorney Generall Is it possible said he that amongst my Vassalls there should be such a perfidious Traitor Lord Lucifer answered the Patriarch It is true that this Devill hath no other profession then to induce men to steale and robbe their Neighbour when they are discovered they are imprisoned and then hanged but before they are led to the execution they are instructed admonished and exhorted unto Repentance and by that meanes they are saved and your Devill who is none of the craftiest in the World thinking to have gained those Soules when he hath caused them to commit those Crimes he leaves them whereas he should tempt them to fall in Despaire and kill themselves insomuch that being in the hands of a good Confessour he makes them have an earnest remorce in their consciences of their offences and by that meanes they save themselves against your Devills beliefe who hath not yet perceaved that one may go to Heaven by the Gallowes or Flames Thus your torments have beene frustrate of their