in his power to help them and a Word of his Mouth can heal them when other Physitians are of no value We can then by what we felt our selves tell them something of the Evil effects and bitterness of Sin Though what we feel in some Cases is far more then what we can express We can after our Sickness excite all our Acquaintance to Fear and to love God to fear him who can in a few dayes bring them very low and to love him who can quickly raise the lowest up again A Man has much more to do on Earth than to secure his own Salvation The World the Church the Nation to which he belongs do all claim a part in him The Converted and the Unconverted his Relations and Friends the good and the bad do all need and require his help and it is a Mercy greatly to be acknowledged that God renewes our strength and opportunity that we may do some service for him before we dye There are many Duties to be performed here which cannot be done in another World Psal. 88. 11. His loving kindness cannot be declared in the Grave nor his Faithfulness in destruction Psal. 6. 5. In death there is no remembrance of thee in the grave who shall give thee thanks Psal. 115. 17. The dead praise not the Lord neither any that go down into silence Now it is a blessed and a glorious priviledge to praise him here on Earth for though he be praised among the glorify'd it is without any propogation of praise to the name of God for that is the Priviledge of the Saints on Earth where they make known his name to those that knew it not before or make it more known to those that knew it As also to advance the Kingdom of Christ in the World to which the dead contribute nothing at all and to give good Examples by the sincerity and inoffensiveness of their Carriage for in heaven there is no need of good Examples There is no Evil Person to be reduced and all there are possest of their Happiness Vid. Hook 's Priviledge of the Saints on Earth beyond those in Heaven in regard of many duties pag. 12. Here it is that we may feed the Hungry cloath the Naked visit the Sick lodge the poor that have no dwelling place Here it is by our Sympathy that we may weep with those that weep and in some respect imitate the kind Incarnation of our Saviour by putting on the Wants and Miseries of others But in Heaven there is no Miserable person to relieve no opportunity to shew our Mercy and Compassion to the afflicted and yet this Grace is one of the fairest Lineaments of the new Creature and which causes in us a near resemblance of our Heavenly Father Here we may pray for the Sick the Tempted and the Persecuted but there is an happy freedom from Sickness and Temptation While we live we may by Intercession and Prayers for our Friends do them good but in that World for ought we know such an Intercession ceases and we are sure there is neither Command Example or Promise in all the Scripture to encourage us to make our Application to the Saints departed for the Relief of our wants that Homage is alone due to Christ the Great and onely Mediatour whose Mediation is founded on the excellency of his Person and the Ransom that he gave to God 'T is here on Earth that the strong in Faith may assist the weak 't is here they may speak words of Comfort and Refreshment to the weary soul whereas above they all rest from their Labours 'T is here they must strengthen the weak hands and Confirm the feeble knees and say to them that are of a fearful heart be strong fear not Isa. 35. 3 4. 'T is here that the fathers to their children must make known his truth Isa. 38. 19. and endeavour that his name may be celebrated from Generation to Generation and that the people which shall be created may praise the Lord. Psal. 102 18. 'T is here that in the midst of sore Tryals we must exercise our Faith for there it will be turned into sight and full Assurance 'T is here that we must wait in hope for there the good which we expect will be possest 'T is here that we must love our Enemies and bless them that Curse us And this Faith and Hope and love are greatly serviceable to the Propagation of the Gospel 'T is here on Earth that we must acquire and use these Graces and exercise the Gifts which God hath given us for the common good For whether there be prophesies they shall fail whether there be tongues they shall cease whether there be knowledge it shall vanish away 1. Cor. 13. 8. What a Mercy is it to have Life and time wherein to perform so many good Works for the advantage of our Neighbours What a Mercy is it for a Magistrate to live that he may shine with more brightness and fill his higher Orb with clearer Light That he may by his own good Example and by his discouraging of Prophaneness and Irreligion promote the Kingdom of Christ as well as contrive for the Honour of his own Dominions What a Mercy is it to a Minister that he may live to speak in the name of God to bring the glad tidings of Salvation and to be long employed in bringing home poor wandring sinners to Jesus Christ To unfold the Mysteries of the Gospel and the unsearchable riches of Grace and Mercy that are therein and to use the Talents that are given him for his Masters Glory How much more desireable is it to such an one to be speaking in the Pulpit than to be silent in the Grave and to have all his knowledge that he acquired with painful Labour and waking Thoughts to be as it were buried with him or at least not to be of any further use to the World What a Mercy is it to a Parent that he may Live to educate his his children in the nurture and admonition of the Lord that he may instruct and Antidote them against the Contagions of this World where Evil Examples are so numerous and good ones so very rare to give them warning of the dangers which he himself narrowly escap'd and to acquaint them betimes with the wayes of God and by his conduct and prudent advice and frequent Exhortations and constant prayers to recommend them frequently to the blessing of Providence and to fortifie them against the rashness and haste and folly of their Careless Age. 'T is easie indeed for those that are faithful in their several stations to desire Death as a Traveller desires the shadow of a Rock in a weary land and as a Labourer after a days hard labour is glad of the approaching Night that he may go to bed 'T is a piece of self-denial for very Holy Men to be content to Live and to stay on Earth when they have a well-grounded hope of Heaven To stay in
live an Example of dying well which is the most difficult thing in the World What a mercy is it when a man after many long and weary steps on Earth is going stored with Experiences and a well-grown Faith to his Journeys end When a man arrives at Heaven like a vessel well fraighted and richly Laden that after a long and dangerous Voyage is coming home To shine all his Life with the beauties of Holiness and when he dies to set like the Sun in beams to rise again Oh what a pleasant thing is it to a Believer to have the sweet foretastes of heaven here and hereafter to enter into the joy of his Lord To be blown along with a full gale of assured and undaunted Hope To be able to say I know whom I have believed I have fought the good fight of faith I am going to that God whose I am and whom I serve to that God who has loved me and whom I have loved who will be my own God for ever and ever What a glorious thing is it when a Christian by the assistance of the blessed Spirit has mortified all inordinate desires after any thing in this life when he can say Let me arise and go hence to a better place when the Affections and all the powers of the Soul are on the wing to meet its Saviour on the way when it is in an actual readiness and as soon as ever it hears the voice saying Come up hither will freely go and with such holy haste as if it would prevent Christ in his coming to fetch it It is a thing greatly to be desired and prayed for that when our last hour comes we may not onely in the General be prepared to dye but that we may be in a dying Frame and a man is so when he is very submissive to God and his blessed Will when he is pleas'd with that order of his Providence that calls him hence When by Faith he is intirely loosen'd from the World and Worldly things and in assurance of Salvation can yield up his Life with this Lord Jesus receive my Spirit Inf. 1. If being brought from the Grave be so great a mercy and for which we ought to be thankful then what cause have those to be thankful who are delivered so as never to be in danger of dying any more Happy are they who are deliver'd so as ever to be deliver'd never to feel the same bitterness which they once felt nor to groan under the same Miseries and Calamities We praise God here on Earth but alass how low and how weak are our Praises to what he deserves for his own Excellencies and for his Mercy to us How cold are our warmest praises to theirs above who are all in admiration Extasie and Love And well may they praise him in the most elevated manner that certainly know that all their diseases are heal'd and their Iniquities forgiven That by their nearness to God see his Face and how well-pleas'd he is with all they do they praise the riches of his Grace in pardoning so many sins and so great they praise his power and his Wisdom that guided their poor trembling Souls to his own Glory their hearts are full of Love and 't is that which produces Praise and Joy Oh what a chearful Society is above in Heaven where so many Milions of Angels and so many Saints joyn together in the same blessed work and all their several Anthems meet in one loud and pleasant Hallelujah how vastly different is their Assembly from such an one as this Here we are with our unbelief with our fears with our strong Corruptions and with our many sins whereas they are all perfect and compleat in Holiness Here are we liable to manifold Calamities the very thoughts of which may be justly afflicting to us but in their World they have no change nor variation They have one continued and unalterable Felicity after a long and doleful sickness it is a pleasant thing to behold this World again it looks as a new World to me who have dwelt for so many Months on the very borders of the Grave But alass what is this World that at the best is a Region and a state of death to that above which is a Region and a state of pure and undisturbed Life The deliverance which God has been pleased to give to Me is in many respects as a Resurrection but it is such an one as that of Lazarus after which I must be sick again and dye for Recovery is but a delay of certain death And indeed our praises for our escape from death are very much damp'd and allayed by this thought that we must for all the deliverances we have at present yet in a little while go into the Grave The remembrance of those fore and dreadful Calamities that surrounded me and this Consideration that I am whilest in this body obnoxious to many thousand more distresses makes me to rejoyce with trembling It is a very sad Consideration when a man looks upon such a number of people as is here this Evening to think how many several sorts of miseries may be our Lot before we dye All of us are born to trouble as the sparks fly upward We can no more avoid affliction then we can run away from our selves What vexations may you Parents meet withal in disobedient Children that may send you mourning to the dust What Curses may come to you who have careless Parents that suffer you to wander in the way of death What disappointments and losses and decayes may you that are Tradesmen meet withal or if you avoid all these yet that which is worse may come upon you I mean sharp and violent diseases and these I call worse because a man will better bear any inconvenience without him then that which fills his body with uneasieness and pain and his Soul by its sympathy with its dear Companion with Anguish and Vexation In how little a while will all who are now alive be dead In how little a time may the most strong and healthful person here be taken off by sickness from all Employment and business How does it trouble us many times to see the Tears and Sorrows of our nearest Friends and we cannot mitigate them with what earnest looks do they move our pity when they are in great pain but we cannot help them their shrill Cryes and their doleful groans may pierce our hearts but we know not how to remove them We stand by their Bed-sides and see their Agonies but by being sorrowful we do but for the most part add new grief to theirs We see their Countenances change and how at length they pass away and that shortly in such a case shall we our selves be But oh what a welcom and glorious day will that be when we shall see those very friends alive again whom we once saw in the most dreadful Agonies of death When though we parted with Tears yet we shall
as not to leave us the use or enjoyment of some good or at least of our selves Death extinguisheth our Life and by this means overthrowing the very Foundations of our Enjoyments doth at the same time despoil as of all other good things altogether Daille sur Coloss. 2. 13. Life is the most excellent Gift of God but Death is an Enemy to Nature and cannot be lov'd for it self 't is the fruit of Sin Rom. 5. 12. 'T is the wages thereof Rom. 6. 23. For if Adam had persever'd in his Innocent Condition he had enjoyed a Glorious Immortality without those pains and that Death which is now our Lot The Philosophers indeed thought that death was natural to Man and all the discourses they grounded upon this false principle are so vain and empty that they onely serve to shew in the General how weak Man is seeing the greatest productions of the wisest Men are so mean and Childish Pascal pensees S. 30. Death is the matter of the Threat and therefore a punishment though Believers whose Faith is in exercise may quietly submit to it as a passage to Eternal Glory We give it indeed many soft names and seem to make nothing of it in our ordinary discourse we speak of nothing with more unconcernedness and with less Fear but it ceases not to be an Enemy though we give it never so many fair Characters Men at a distance from it can make a sleight matter of it but its nearer approaches if attended with the due sense of Futurity will make the boldest and the stoutest Man to tremble it will strike a damp into his Spirits mingle Gall and Wormwood with his Wine and Bitterness with his sweetest Joys Death is not the less formidable for being unavoidable but rather more so as a certain Evil is more an Evil than that which is only probable and which may never happen but do we consider what it is for the Union that is between the body and the Soul to be dissolv'd what it is to see Corruption what it is to have this Body turn'd into a Carkass without Life and Motion what it is to have this Body which we have tended with so long a Care which we have maintain'd at so vast a Charge of Meat and Drink and Time to have this Body in which we have slept and liv'd at Ease laid into the cold Grave and there in a loathsome manner to putrifie and consume away it cannot but occasion very great Commotions when the day is come that the two Friends who have been so long acquainted and so dear to one another must part Death is an evil to be prayed against for as such it cannot be the Object of desire And the old saying of Augustin is not unworthy of our Observation That if there were no bitterness in Death the Constancy of Martyrs would not be so remarkable Therefore says the Apostle 2 Cor. 5. 4. We would not be uncloathed but clothed upon It is promised as a favour to Ebedmelech that though he sustained many other losses yet he should have his life for a prey Jer. 39. 18. and Paul then whom none had a greater desire and esteem of Glory yet reckons it a Blessing for a good Man to be kept alive For he sayes of Epaphroditus Phil. 2. 27. He was sick nigh unto death but God had mercy on him And we find the Holy Men of Old very earnest for their Lives Return O Lord deliver my soul O save me for thy mercies sake For in death there is no remembrance of thee in the Grave who shall give thee thanks Psal. 6. 4. 5. Psal. 39. 13. Oh spare me that I may recover strength before I go hence and be no more Psal. 102. 24. I said O my God take me not away in the midst of my dayes And what doleful Expressions did Hezekiah use upon the news of his approaching death Isa. 38. 10. I said in the cutting off of my dayes I shall go to the gates of the Grave I am deprived of the residue of my years I said I shall not see the Lord even the Lord in the land of the living I shall behold man no more with the inhabitants of the Earth Reason 2. When a Man dyes 't is to him as an end of all the World He is no more considered as a Member of that Community to which he did once belong When his Eyes are once clos'd by Death he is no more to behold the Sun Moon and Stars which he now sees nor his Fields and Gardens his Shops and Houses his Estate and Lands As the waters fail from the Sea and the flood decayeth and drieth up So man lieth down and riseth not till the heavens be no more Job 14. 11 12. He quits for ever all those Earthly things on which he once set his Heart and when he is asleep in his Bed of dust he will not awake to pursue secular Affairs and Business which took up so much of his time and labour He must no more frequent his Exchange not read Books nor discourse with his Relations and Friends as he us'd to do among the Living here The first sound that he will he will hear will be the Voice of the Last Trumpet Arise ye dead and come to judgment The first sight that he will see will be the Mighty Judge in the Clouds and the Heavens and the Earth all in one flame All that little share of the World which he called his own will be undiscern'd and buryed in the vast ruins and desolations of the Great Day When a Man dyes 't is with him as an End of the World all the Affairs of Peace and War of Trade and Commerce and Gain and Riches all his projects and designs his large reaches his forecast his â—â—â—ughtfulness about News or about providing for his own Name or for posterity all these things are at an end with him for ever It would put a mighty Change upon the Face of things and the Circumstances of particular persons if they knew certainly the World would be at an end in four or five years or in so many Moneths and no man knows but it may be so as to him because before or at that time Death may cut him off and then he has no more to do with this Earth or with the Sons of Men. As the cloud is consumed and vanisheth away so he that goeth down to the grave shall come up no more He shall return no more to his house neither shall his place know him any more Job 7. 9 10. Reason 3. Because when we dye our Everlasting state is to be determin'd l After Death the Judgment The moment of our departure hence will pass us over to the Righteous Tribunal of God It will make us either to shine with the Angels above or to set with the Devils It will either fix us in a joyful Paradise or in an intolerable state of Wo. So that we may say with Nieremberg how
his Family as a Little Church when he is at home and that by an unintermitting Diligence and Watchfulness antidotes himself against the Contagions of bad Examples and vain Company and the Temptations of an evil World when he is abroad Who is it that walks so circumspectly as to be unblameable and without Offence Who is it that is so couragious in his Reproofs so zealous of good Works so tender of his own Salvation and of the Salvation of others as he ought to be Our neglect of many thousand Duties calls for long and severe Punishments at the Hands of God And it is a Subject of great Wonder that he will be gracious even to any of the Sons of Men. And what reason has every one that is delivered from Sickness and Pain and Death to bless his holy Name and to say What am I O Lord God that thou shouldst visit and uphold and refresh so great so inexcusable so wilful a Sinner as I have been What am I a poor Worm of the Earth that thou shouldst so mercifully regard me What am I that I should live by thy Goodness when I have so often deserved to die by thy Justice What am I that when I had spent so much of my Time to little purpose thou shouldst give me still more time that he should again put me into his Vineyard when I had loiter'd in it for so long a space and when I had misimproved many thousand Talents and knew not what to answer for them he should pass by and remit my former Debts and put into my Hands a new Stock What am I that his Dew should remain upon my Branches when he might have said of me as of the barren Fig-tree Cut it down why cumbreth it the ground any longer O what Grace is this that a God whom I had so frequently and so heinously provoked should spare me to recover Strength That when I had mock'd him with so many cold and lazy Prayers he should give me opportunity to pray again when I had so often misimproved his Sabbaths and his Gospel and the Offers of his Son that he should continue to me the Blessings of his holy Day the Invitations of his Word and the Calls of Christ that so I may repent of my careless Hearing my Lukewarmness and my Unbelief In the humble sense of our own Unworthiness let us contemplate and admire that God that brings us from the Grave Many People will say If we were humbled and if we did repent God would soon help us This is very true but if God should never be merciful to us till we are prepar'd for Mercy his Mercy and his Help I am afraid would come very late For as we may say It is of the Lord's Mercies that we are not consumed because his Compassions fail not so 't is of the Lord's Mercy that we are delivered and he is gracious because he will be so 2. When we are delivered from Sickness and from the Grave we must remember that Deliverance so as to excite our selves to more Fervour and Affection Before all our Duties we should stir up our selves and that is to be done by an intense and serious application of our Minds to that particular thing which we go about by considering aright the Nature and Consequence of a well-performed Duty Thus when we are going to pray we should say Remember O my Soul to what a glorious God thou dost approach and with what humble Self-abhorrence thou shouldst look unto his Majestick Throne Remember thy own Vileness thy Sins thy Miseries and thy Wants and what need thou hast of a Mediator to make thy poor and thy mean Oblation to be an acceptable Sacrifice what need thou hast of wrestling and striving that thou mayst obtain a Blessing Thus when we give Thanks we may say Remember O my Soul the excellent Perfections of God and the Benefits which thou hast received their Seasonableness their Worth and all the wonderful Particulars they are attended with This excitation of our selves is not acquirable by a few cold and transient Thoughts 't is not one Sally of Religious Meditations now and then but a continuance of these Acts arguing and pleading the Case with our own Souls till the Fire of our Love and Thankfulness begin to burn We should think of the Mercies of God till our Hearts under the sense of his Goodness begin to melt and warm till all that is within us move and stir with holy Elevations towards him Then will the Holy Spirit cherish our Endeavours And when we are with all the Skill we can tuning our Harps he will come in to our Assistance and make the Musick more harmonious and our Praise more sweet and by his vital Influences banish all that Coldness that does usually damp and clog our Hearts in the Duties of Religion There is a great advantage in Soliloquies and a Man may in this Work talk to himself without the reproach of folly This is a means to quiet and appease a rising Storm Psal. 42. 5. and this is the way to make us look upon it with Delight and Thankfulness when 't is past and gone We know that those Sermons which do but explain Truths to us and present them only in their native Excellency and Reasonableness do not equally affect us as those do that are pressed with a fervent and lively Application Nor do those Mercies which we only remember make so much impression as those which we often call to mind and as often urge upon our Hearts When we come before God we must make his Altar smoak with burning Frankincense we must cover it with our chearful Praises and a flaming Love Our knowledg of his Persections is obscure and weak but our Sense causes us very distinctly to feel his Benefits and therefore all our Affections should ascend towards him When his Sun shines full upon us our Hearts should open at his Coming smell with a sweeter Savour upon the being visited with his comfortable Beams As upon our being brought from the Grave and restor'd to Health there is a new Strength in our Bodies so there must be a new Vigour in our Souls and as we discover a very great Earnestness in our Petitions when we want a Mercy so there ought to be as much Fervor in Acknowledgment and return of Thanks when we have received it 3. After we are delivered from the Grave we ought to remember such a Mercy with very great Sincerity i. e. there ought to be a Correspondence between our outward Expressions and the more undiscernable Motions of our Hearts There must be in our Understandings an high Esteem of him who is the Author of all our Good a most deliberate and free choice of him as our Happiness and this Esteem and this Choice is the genuine Product of a real Admiration There is nothing indeed more common than for People on the smallest occasions to say I thank God for this or that but the manner in which
himself who in the night that he was betrayed was providing a Feast of Comfort for his poor Followers Fourthly T is very delightful to God when his Servants after the receipt of Mercies joyn their praises together If we had no experiences of his Goodness to us yet so excellent are the Perfections of his Nature that we ought even then to praise him much more when he is so kind to us who have deserved nothing He is pleased with with that homage which we give him by our Prayers and our hearing of the Word and when two or three are gathered together he is there It will also please him to see our Hearts and our Mouths full of Thanks for to this very purpose he gives his Blessings to us and it is grateful to him to see that they are not lost upon us As it is pleasant to an Husband-man to see a seasonable Harvest and that his Labour and Pains have not been in vain When there is a Consort of Musick there is the greatest Harmony and when a whole Assembly of sincere Christians joyn their Voices and their Hearts together with what a delightful sound do they go up before the Throne of God For as one observes the blessing and acceptance that Religion receives from the Divine Majesty is much greater for the publickness of it even in this sense two are better than one for they have a good reward for their labour In this sense their complicated services are more forcible their threefold Cord is not easily broken Not that God is prevailed upon to any change in himself or his Government by the services of his Creatures though in a multitude but he is pleased to found the occasions and opportunities of his most bountiful recompences in the drawing near of their greater numbers For as when God was pleased to communicate himself more freely he did it to a multitude of Creatures so he delights in receiving back the glory of having thus communicated himself from a multitude also and as there is more of himself in more of his Creatures whether of several sorts or of the same so there is more of his blessing in their approaches to him Whole Duty of Nations p. 9. What does the Great God obtain by all his Acts of Bounty to his Creatures but a Revenue of praise what other end does he design in all his Mercies therefore we should be most willing to pay him this easie Tribute Oh how pleasant is it to come into the house of God with the voice of joy and praise and with a multitude that keep holy day Psal. 42. 4. Private prayer does not honour him so much as publick this therefore as the now mentioned person expresses it it was the Policy of Nineveh's natural Religion to unite their Force in Humiliation Fasting and Prayer and to take advantage of joyning the mute desires of the Beasts that have a voice in the Ears of God Abraham's Servant made the Camels kneel down while he prayed to God And it was as he further observes Davids Art to gather up all the Praises even of the lowest of the Creatures that could so meanly give them and inspiring them with his own Reason made them as it were to follow his Harp and to unite in his own Halleluiahs Thus he served himself of them that making by them a greater Present of glory to God he might receive the greater Blessing from him We ought to be as eloquent in the numbring of our Mercies as we are in the compution of our Sorrows and our Praises ought to be as loud or rather louder than our Groans And yet alass how rare a thing is this mutual praise And it may be as a sign of it that so many desire Funeral Sermons to be preached for their departed Friends and few desire any Sermons for their own Recovery from Sickness and Death or for their Friends upon the like occasions 'T is strange that we should be more ready to mourn than to rejoyce and that our Sorrows should be more passionate and fluent than our joys that we are more enclined to bewail our Losses than to be glad for our Mercies especially when one has the advantage of pleasure on its side which the other has not we always meet and mingle our Tears together when our Friends are to be laid into the Grave and we should as solemnly meet when any of our Friends have been nigh unto Death and have escaped it that for so great a Mercy we may return to God our Common Praise Fifthly This mutual praising of God is a resemblance of Heaven In doing this we are beginning that blessed Work which we hope to be employed in for ever We poor Sinners here below are then something like to those Holy Souls that are above Will it not be a great part of Heaven to admire and adore and praise God for all his Deliverances granted to us to his Church and our fellow Saints There will be a common Joy and an Union of Praises for all his Mercies from the beginning to the conclusion of the World And then all the Myriads of his Elect being safely gathered into his own Kingdom shall keep a Thanksgiving-day and that Day shall be for ever It is to that pleasant and chearful Country that we at length hope to go Let us use our selves now to the Language of the Place and learn betimes to Sing the Songs of Sion Let us raise our Voices as high as ever we can in the Praises of our God and then knowing how unsuitable our highest Elevations are to his Excellent and Glorious Majesty let us long to joyn with Glorified Spirits in their louder and sweeter Hymns and being sensible of our own Weakness we may call to the blessed Angels to all Beings that are in Heaven or on the Earth in the Air or in the Seas to help us to praise the Lord. As we have the Example of David in sevèral Psalms and in the 103. 20 21 22. Bless the Lord ye his Angels that excel in strength that do his Commandments hearkening unto the voice of his word Bless ye the Lord all ye his Hosts ye Ministers of his that do his pleasure Bless the Lord all his Works in all places of his Dominions bless the Lord O my Soul The Conclusion of the Whole AND now to finish what I design to say from these Words Having been delivered from a long and severe Sickness I would most earnestly beg of you all to help me to praise the Lord for his great Goodness and Mercy to me Long I was upon the very brink of the Grave and nothing in this World could ease my Pain or mitigate my Sorrows God himself hath wrought Salvation for me And 't is for your sakes as well as mine own that you may see an instance of his mighty Power and Goodness who as he hath delivered me can also deliver you when you come to Straits and Difficulties I heartily wish that seeing my