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A89926 Newes from the New Exchange, or The commonvvealth of ladies, drawn to the life, in their severall characters and concernments. Neville, Henry, 1620-1694. 1650 (1650) Wing N510; Thomason E590_10; ESTC R203016 11,178 24

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whole plantation of Tobacco it being her proper Element so that since my Lord finds Smoak Sir Humphry may in time have Bacon I would have this Lady well preferr'd in the Commonwealth she being now a great Retailer of Courtesies And truly her Daughter my Lady Prat for ought I see is resolved to keep up the Trade having an Husband for the purpose This is that doughty Knight Sir George Prat once celebrated in Comedy and pawned upon the Stage as well as at the Tavern in a Ioynt-Stool for a Reckoning Hee Sir Samuel Luke Ieffery and little Trott may help to make up the Nine Worthies amoug the Pigmies and might passe for rare Champions in America to erect a new Common wealtb among the Monkies Indeed take Sir George hornes and all and he is a very formidable Monster so that 't is no wonder if his Lady be reprehended by her Mother for being Bull'd by an Urchin She is a great wit and playes with an old Sophister Dr. Smell-smock alias Mr. Osbaston who jerks her both behind and before therefore Mr. Lenthall though he have playd Truant a great while may the rather scape a whipping Come take your Turn Mrs. Gamlyn for you have had many a one by that excellent Squire of the Body yong Lenthall who hath the art to love if the Women love him They say Northamptoc makes love one hour to you and he beats the brains of it out in a quarter This Gentleman broaches maxims very dangerous to the Common-wealth of Women viz. That there is no woman honest That women would become unnecessary in the world if that damnable principle of honesty should be professed That originally there was no such quality as honesty only it was insinuated by the perswasions of the first mother to keep women from being debauched in their nurses arms All which hath been applauded and seal'd to by the same Gentleman over and over Now as a brave * Supposed a Hetmaphrodite Woman-man-of-mettle heigh for my Lady Hungerford Since Sir Edward is in Heaven the fittest mate for her upon Earth must needs be Annis-water Robbin For they may fit one another by turns and be beholding to no body This Lady over-rid and excarnated no lesse than three of her women in her husbands life-life-time and hath left no part of foure Gentlemen-ushers visible in the world but their periwigs but the fifth scapes yet and may perhaps for a twelve-month Room next for my Lady Kingsmell who having been lately in France hath brought over some Italian tricks with her The only wit in that house is new lechery and her Daughter is vostre Serviteur The Mother should have been married to my Lord of Norwich at his coming out of prison but that of late he is become as dry as his jests and the talke of the town diverted the humor But my Lady Rutland God wot is a more resolute Lover for now that her Lord is out of Town nothing can stave her off from Tom. Gell. This fellow the world suspected to be Eunuch to my Lord of Newcastle but now she commends him for the swetest man in the world though of late she hath a great stroke too with Harry Martyn And now we talk of a stroak I can tell you of a notable Striker one Mrs. Luson who hath blowne up and broke so many French Dutch and Spanish Merchants that none of late durst deal with her but Hugh Peters who I hear hath pawned halfe the fleet at Milford-haven to provide her a new yeares gift and this in imitation of his Masters at Westminster who ever put the Charges of their Lechery upon the accompts of the Publique This policy of Hugh Peters puts us in mind of godly Gravener he that is Commissary to my Lady Fairfax who hath pawned his Commission for another couple of Flanders horses to make sure of Mistris Luson And she I think hath paid him pretty well for the poor Gent. hath spit himselfe into a Night cap and the next Remove may be into a Coffin If ever the new Common weal be routed it must be by this Lady for put a little Gunpowder to her Mercury and you may soon blow up my Lord Bradshaw He they say hath audited her Phisicke Bill and the Councell of State finds many faults in it As Inprimis one purge for a clap she had from Sir Harry Mildmay which was much invenom'd by one he caught the morning before from Besse the Begger wench Item a Plaister for the swelling in her Groin that Mr. Marten gave her from a Shanker of his which he caught from the Wench he stole from his Brother-Member Sir Roger North. Item an Astringent for a Gonorrhaea given her by Mr. Scot which hath been entailed upon him and his Family ever since he strain'd at the Brewers daughter behind the Ale-fat Item for a Pimple which my Lord of Denbigh entailed on the Top of her Belly from the Tip of his Nose The Pothecary pleaded this cure was extraordinary because the Rubyes in my Lords nose might have caused a Carbuncle in her Cabinet had it not been prevented according to my Lord 's owne direction with an emollient Clyster over night a Dose of Pills in the morning and an electuary from the same Lord the night following Item for fluxing fuming soking and Tubbing of Heveningham a worthy Member yet all will do no good For this Lady and he have been so long of the same humor that he cannot be cured of a Rhume that hangs on both sides his mouth so that ere long he may be Chapfall'n This Malady hath been much exasperated by an ill prepared flux which hath left him more of Mercury than Venus in his Body Ask my Lady Lake else who did what woman could for him plyed him with Cordials and warm Plaisters but broke his head when she said She wondred hir Cozen Heveningham would have to do with so rotten a woman As she wounds some so she shaves others for she has made Mr. Love a wofull Example who never wore any beard since her first acquaintance Oh let us not now forget Mistris Duns a Lady every jot as Independent as the former she hath payed Tribute to all the Deputies of Ireland and will not now forbear her Cosen Cromwell Shee keeps mighty Intelligence too with his wife and she with Hugh Peters and Peters with Mistris Ireton she with Bradshaw he with Madam Castlehaven as Cromwell with Mrs. Lambert Now enter my Lady Craven at a conference over her Cups Fie sister fie never a Beer-glasse of Sack to Sir William Sidley's health yes my Lady Craven here 's one fill a Brimmer to that part of my Sister Craven which Sir William loves best T is well fill'd and fairely drunke Now to do you right my Lady Mary here is to you to the finishing of Sir Williams desires let it be how where and when he pleases Come my Lady Mary Howard take courage though thy fortune be but small yet having a good