dutyes which thou commandest that so my light may rise in obscuritie and my darknesse be as the noone day Heare mee ô Lord and graunt these my peritions and whatsoever else shall be necessarie for mee and that for the worthinesse of him who is the morning starte even Iesus Christ my onely Lord and Saviour in whose name and words I father call upon thee saying Mat. 6.9.10.11.12.13 Our father which art in heaven hallowed be thy name thy kingdome come thy will be done in earth as it is in heaven give us this day our dayly bread and forgive us our trespasses as wee forgive them that trespasse against us and leade us not into temptation but deliver us from evill for thine is the Kingdome the power and the glory for ever and ever Amen part 3 The third part Of the Soliloquie Fitted for one preparing to goe to dinner VVHen Daniel the Prophet was made chiefe of the Presidents and Princes of the Kingdome of Darius the rest burning with furie at this his preferment sought say's the text an occasion against him Dan 6.4 but none they could find for hee was faithfull neither was there any errour or fault found in him Prov 3.15 At length to magnifie the King above him by whom alone Kings reigne for the effecting of their purposes they quarrelled with his religion and conceaved that their uniust designes of debasing the President were noe wayes to be wrought but by dishonouring his God But when those envious parasites pretended highly to magnifie the scepter they did indeede but labour the satisfaction of their envie Dan 6. vers 9. vers 7. Howsoëver at length it was concluded and the decree was signed in writing that Whosoever should aske a petition of any God or man for thirtie dayes save onely of Darius hee was to be cast into the denne of Lyons vers 10 Daniel knew that the decree was signed yet hee went into his house and his windowes being open in his chamber towards Ierusalem hee kneeled upon his knees three times a day and praised and gave thankes before his God as hee did afore time Here was a worthy resolution and as religious a performance Neither the envie of his adversaries nor the displeasure of his Soveraigne nor the greedinesse of the Lyons could stoppe his proceedings or hinder his devotions Deut 5 29. Oh that there were such a heart in mee too that I would feare the Lord and keepe his commandements allways that it might be well with mee for ever But alasse to my shame and griefe I see that I can scarce once in a day find in my heart to praise my God and if twice or thrice I attempt to fitt and compose my selfe to my holy devotions I presently repell those righteous motions as if it were un-necessarie whatsoëver is ircksome But why should I not consider how slack I am in my petitions even by the aboundance of things which I truely want Why should I not pray by precept or at least by precedent It was David's resolution Ps 55.17 Evening and morning and at noone-day will I pray and cry aloud hee shall heare my voyce And his practise exceedes his promise for his owne words are Seaven times a day doe I praise thee Ps 11â— 164. because of â—y righteous judgments Yea hee goe's a litle â—rther yet and crye's out vers 97 O how I love thy â—we It is my meditation all the day Hee â—uld not choose but meditate on his law all â—e day long Ps 25.5 on whom hee did wayte all the â—…y long Thus hee meditated hee meditated 〈◊〉 day a whole day and yet not one whole â—ay onely for hee passeth his promise to the All-mighty saying Ps 145 2. Every day will I blesse â—hee and I will praise thy name for ever and â—ver Thus should I doe as David did I â—hould blesse the Lord and I should praise â—he Lord yea I will blesse him and I will â—raise him for all his mercies and particularly for preserving mee to the midle of this day But is this time so fitting convenient that now especially I should setle to my meditations Yes doubtlesse at this very instant I have more arguments to perswade mee to devotion then at many other howers and seasons of the day Now my hungrie appetite putteth mee in mind of the ravens which hee feedeth when thy call upon him Ps 147.9 Now I discover a most ample testimonie of his protection and providence Ps 107.9 for now hee satisfieth the emptie soule and filleth the hungry soule with goodnesse Longer mee think's I cannot stay from my meate for my empty bellie call's for a repast Lord how fraile are wee mortalls that wee cannot live one day without the satisfaction of our stomacks Mat 6.11 Phil 4.19 which made our Saviour teach us to pray Give us this day our dayly bread Well God is so good as to supply all our wants but how doe's hee supply them Alasse the poore inferiour creatures are faint to pay the tribute of their lives for the satisfaction of our hunger Our plentiful tables doe commonly speake blood in every dish The beastes and the fowles and the fishes doe seeme to contend for precedencie in their service to our wanton appetites And yet if I consider of it what offence that the Lamb or the Sheepe or the Calfe or the Oxe or the Dove or the Salmon committed that they loose their lives for the preservation of ours Those doe obey the commands of their Creatour even unto death and by their ready submission to man's desires observe the law which was first prescribed them But why doe they so seeing man by his fall did loose the prerogative of soveraigntie over the creatures Hee did so indeede yet those creatures not willing to insult over their sinfull Lord especially seeing the charter was renewed afterwards to Noah Gen 9.2.3 continue their submission to his will and command In all this how can I choose but magnifie my God desire him to blesse the creatures unto mee for the sustenance of my body that I may onely live to honour him who is the giver of all Now againe above other times should I thinke on my â—od and desire him in mercy to be graâ—ous unto mee for at this time of the day â—ee would not visit our first and sinfull paâ—…nts It is now about the midle and heate of â—e day The Sun is hastening to the highest â—oint in the Meridian with beames direct â—eepe's through the crevices into our private â—…osets Gen 3.8 but it was in the coole of the day when Adam and Eve did heare the voyce of the Lord God walking in the garden and presently did â—ide themselves from the presence of him amongst â—he trees of the garden O though 't was in the â—oole of the day when God was heard yet was â—t in the heate of his anger for the sinne of the â—ransgressours
Lu 15.14 vers 16 I am brought into want and faine would fill my belly even with the huskes that swine doe eate but noe man giveth them unto mee vers 17. Though I know that many hired servants have bread enough and to spare and yet I am ready to perish with hunger Though thus I know my miserie yet I skarce remember the cause But I will begg of my heavenly father vers 17 that I may come unto my selfe and then that my selfe may come unto him I know that hee is angry and his wrath is terrible but if I absent my selfe his displeasure will increase The longer I strive to keepe out of his sight the more will be his severitie and the more grievous my punishment vers 18 I will therfore arise and goe to my father and say unto him Father I have sinned against heaven vers 19 and before thee and am noe more worthy to be called thy child make mee as one of thy hired servants Iob 42.6 Ps 102.9 Ps 80.5 I will abhorre my selfe in dust and ashes As David did so will I I will eate ashes as it were bread and I will have plenteousnesse of teares to drinke I will mourne for my sinnes which have caused this judgment and with my teares in mine eyes compunction in my heart and humilitie in my soule I will fall on my knees before his footestoole and pray unto him and say The Prayer ALl-mighty and all-sufficient Lord God who by thy power diddest lay the foundations of the world and by thy providence doest guide protect the things therein conteined be pleased to looke upon the sorrowes and sufferances of thy distressed servant Thou knowest my wants before I aske and seest how low I am brought with hunger The inferiour creatures thou fillest with plenty but mee thou sufferest to pine with famine Shall not the cryes of the hungrie pierce thine eares Shall the soule of the emptie be despised by it's maker Heare Lord Ps 30.10 and have mercy ô be thou my helper Thou knowest how I groane under the burden of this affliction and wilt thou allways know it and never remove it where are thy mercies which thou shewedst to thine Israelites Where is they goodnesse which was manifested to he widdow of Sarepta Thou canst not decrease in thy mercies nor forget thy compassion The stomack crye's and the belly cryes and a poore languishing soule cryes unto thee ô Lord in the depth of distresse O my father shut not up thy mercifull eares to my prayers but heare mee in heaven and succour mee with thy reliefe Thy store will not be lessened nor thy treasure diminished by sparing to mee a morsell of bread Lord if it may stand with thy good will preserve mee from death and deliver mee from this famine or else arme mee with patience that I may under-goe thy chastisement with comfort and content O thou Saviour of the world to whom the cursed Iewes gave gall to eate Ps 69.21 and when thou wert thirstie even vineger to drinke doe thou ease my griefe and hearken to my complaint Thou in thy humanitie diddest seele the wants of these out-ward things and knowest what griefe and anguish I suffer To Samaria thou sentest plenty beyond expectation 2. King 7.18 in the space of a night Thou art neither confined to time nor tyed to the meanes thou canst send mee comfort even above my hopes Lord either send mee plenty or blesse my want that so I may willingly submitt to thy pleasure and patiently suffer what thou hast decreed Though my body languish for want of sustenance yet fill thou my soule with the riches of thy goodnesse Amos. 8.11 2. Chr. 15.3 O let mee never be cursed with a famine of thy word Let mee never be as once the Israëlites were without thee the true God without a teaching Priest and without law Howsoëver thou disposest of the outward man let not my soule want it's spirituall nourishment whereby it should be fed to a life immortall It was thy meate ô Christ Io 4.34 to doe the will of him that sent thee and to finish his worke Graunt ô Iesus that I may follow thy stepps and make it my foode and my delight to fullfill thy commandements Let mee not labour here for the meate that perisheth c. 6.27 so much as for that meate which endureth to everlasting life My body is thine dispose of it as thou pleasest My soule is thine preserve it in holinesse Lord be gratious to mee thy child Gen. 43 29. and comfort mee now in this greate extreamitie that so I may neither offend thee in my sufferance nor despaire of thy providence but that wholly relying upon thy gratious goodnesse I may suffer with thankfullnesse whatsoëver thou pleasest and then that my sufferances may end in happinesse Heare mee blessed God and help mee for the worthinesse of thy Sonne in whose name words I farther call upon thee saying Mat. 6.9.10.11.12.13 Our father which art in heaven hallowed be thy name thy Kingdome come thy will be done in earth as it is in heaven give us this day our dayly bread and forgive us our trespasses as wee forgive them that trespasse against us and leade us not into temptation but deliver us from evill for thine is the Kingdome the power and the glory for ever and ever Amen THE THIRD SOLILOQUIE Treating of thirst both bodily and ghostly THE EjACULATION Psal 5. vers 1. Give eare to my words o Lord consider my meditation vers 2. Hearken unto the voice of my cry my king and my God for unto thee will I pray THe Prophet bewayling the distressed estate of afflicted Sion complainth thus Lam. 4.4 The tongue of the sucking child cleaveth to the roofe of his mouth for thirst the young children aske bread and noe man breaketh it unto them They that did feede delicately are desolate in the streetes vers 5. they that were brought up in scarlet embrace the dunghills Grievous was that miserie the infants endured who neither knew how to complaine nor where to be satisfied Their tongues which in time might relate the storie were scorched with the drought and heate of thrist Those litle members which as yet were not un ruely found a punishment as if they had offended The mothers lamenting the torments of the young ones offered them drinke from the fountaines of their eyes but so un-able was that offering to please the innocents that their thirst increased by that which should quench it Surely the miserie was greate which the babes could not utter since mine is so severe that I thinke it ineffable The more I complaine the more thirstie I am for the motion of the tongue increaseth the drought Iam. 3.6 The tongne that is un-ruely is set on fire of hell but mine is silent and yet it scorcheth That litle moisture which is left in my mouth is growne so glutenous
bee none to deliver us O thou who didst suffer thy selfe to be wounded for our transgressions be pleased to cure the wounds and maladies both of the soule and body of thy distressed servant Thou knowest Lord that the feeble soule cannot praise thee with cheerefullnesse nor serve thee with alacritie The sicknesse of the body disturbeth the soule and maketh it un-apt to serve thee with readinesse O say of his disease that It is enough and remove from him speedily this heavy visitation Thine hand ô Lord is layed upon him and the stroake is so heavy that it woundeth us both Mercifull God let the sinnes of both of us be blotted out of thy remembrance like a clowde Is 44.22 and be appeased with us through the merits of thy Sonne Mar 2.17 The whole have noe neede of thee the physitian but wee that are sick O be thou the Physitian to cure our soules and then in thy good time restore thy diseased servant to his former health But if thou hast sent him this sicknesse as a messenger of death ô give him patience to beare and willingnesse to suffer whatsoever thou sendest Ranke him not in the number of those rich and wicked Eccl. 5.17 who have much sorrow and wrath in their sicknesse but ease his sorrow and appease thy wrath Make him willing to submit to thy will and pleasure that so whether hee liveth Rom. 14.8 hee may live unto thee or whether hee dyeth hee may dye unto thee yea whether hee liveth or dyeth that hee may be thine Luc. 18 13. Lord be likewise mercifull to mee a sinner Thou knowest how deepely this affliction woundeth mee To him thou gavest mee whom now thou visitest that so hee might be both my head and my directour and thou knowest my weakenesse and my frailties that I cannot understand I cannot walke in thy wayes without a counseller I cannot apprehend what I reade Act. 8.31 except some man should guide mee O be thou pleased therfore to spare his life whom I am commanded to learne of at home 1. Cor. 14.35 for if thou callest him to the joy of thine heavenly Kingdome let it be thy goodnesse to moderate my sorrow upon earth If thou takest him from my societie let mee not be left alone but send mee the comforter even thy holy Spirit to be my Protectour and my guide unto death Ps 48.14 Release him of his torments whom thou visitest with this sicknesse and ease thou my sorrowes which arise from his paines Give the comforts of thy Spirit both to him and mee that when this painfull life shall have an end wee may be found of thee in peace 2. Pet. 3.14 Is 9.6 through the merits and mercies of the Prince of peace even Iesus Christ my Lord and onely Saviour Amen THE NINETEENTH SUBJECT Teares of a woman lamenting the death of her beloved husband The Soliloquie THE EjACULATION Psal 5. vers 1. Give eare to my words o Lord consider my meditation vers 2. Hearken unto the voice of my cry my king and my God for unto thee will I pray WHen Mary came where Iesus was Io. 11.32 and saw him shee fell downe at his feete saying unto him Lord if thou hadst beene here my brother had not dyed Shee wept indeede yet it was but for a brother and the Iewes allso wept vers 33. yet it was but for a common friend but what was all that to the death of a husband O my husband my husband That very name of husband mee think's would flatter mee with comfort as if I might imagine that hee could heare mee But oh hee is dead hee is dead hee cannot heare mee hee cannot behould mee hee cannot answer mee his eares are locked up his eyes are closed his mouth is sealed his soule is gone O what shall I doe for my head my guide my heart my husband Were my Saviour upon earth againe I could send one to him as Mary did vers 3. who should say Lord behould hee whom thou lovest is dead Dead say I O dead dead hee is gone hee is departed and can never be re-called But why Why can hee not be called back againe Did not my Iesus cause Lazarus to arise when hee had beene fower dayes dead vers 44 vers 39 Yes hee did but what then I neither love my Saviour so well as Mary did nor I feare doeth hee love mee so well as hee did Mary or if both were so yet since miracles are ceased I cannot so much as hope that hee will call back the spirit of my Lord my husband Oh could hee be wooed by the teares of a sinfull woman never did any mourne so much as I would But nothing will perswade I seeke but the disturbance of him whom I mourne for if I desire to call him from his eternall rest Yet I hope that it is noe sinne to grieve that hee is gone I lament not his happinesse but mine owne losse vers 35 My Iesus himselfe did weepe for Lazarus in testimonie of his affection for so sayd the Iewes vers 36 Behould how hee loved him And was my love to my husband so litle or so cold that I should forget to testifie it in a sorrowfull teare O I cannot forbeare the remembrance of him Is 1.2 Lam 1.12 who was deerer unto mee then life it selfe Heare ô heavens and give eare ô earth Was it nothing to you all yee that were by him when yee saw him breathing out his soule and forsaking the world O behould and see if there be any sorrow like unto my sorrow which is done unto mee wherewith the Lord hath afflicted mee in this day of his anger Tell mee not how Iacob lamented the supposed death of his sonne Ioseph Hee was misse-taken in the cause but I see and feele the chillowed clay of mine indulgent husband Iacob mourned onely for a sonne but I for an husband Iacob had more many more I had but one 2. Sam 1.26 and the love of this one to mee did passe the love of women Yet though Ioseph was alive and though hee was the youngest save one of twelve sonnes Gent 37.34 Iacob his father rent his cloathes and put sackcloth upon his loynes and mourned for him many dayes c 23.2 Tell mee not how Abraham bewayled the death of Sarah his wife who dyed in Kiriath arba in the land of Canaan Hee was a man so neither his passion nor his losse could paralell mine Hee had more-wives but I had not more husbands And yet though Abraham lost but onely a wife I reade that hee came to mourne and to weepe for her Tell mee not of Abijah the sonne of a King how hee dyed and was lamented Could a Prince be as neere and deare to the people as a loving husband to the wife of his bofome Yet though neither mariage nor blood could pleade for a teare I find that all Israël mourned for him
downe Sharon was like a wildernesse and Bashan and Carmel did shake off their fruits But what was the reason of all these judgments of all this languishing sent upon the creatures I neede not goe farre to seeke the cause the Prophet will soone determine it for hee complaineth of the people that By swearing and lying Hos 4.2 and killing and stealing and committing adulterie they brake forth and blood touched blood These were their sinnes but what was the effect The selfe same Prophet immediately after threatneth them with it saying vers 3. Therfore shall the land mourne and every one that dwelleth therein shall languish with the beasts of the field and with the fowles of heaven Here was the earth and the world the citties and the fields and the vines and the plants and the lands and the corne and the oyle and the figtrees and all languishing grievously languishing and the cause thereof was the people's sinne But yet mee think's this cannot much concerne mee Shall I for a smootie eare of corne or two or for the drying of the branch of a vine or a figtree presently conclude that the withering of them can paralell my consumption Yes doubtlesse I must if I looke into the cause The trees and the other of the smaller plants could never either be guiltie of an offence or be sensible of a punishment but the men the men they were the offenders and for their transgressions their mother earth had her second curse I cannot pleade mine owne innocency or pretend that I am free from the guilt of enormities Noe noe I cannot I may therfore conceave my selfe one of the trees which I find so cursed for my branches mine armes my leggs my thighs doe pine away my fruits my workes and my labours are now decayed and what can I say or pleade for my selfe I am one of those trees which the Apostle speaketh of whose fruite withereth Iud. 12 without fruit twice dead and now am I ready to be plucked up by the rootes Yet for all this my stubborne heart mee think's stand 's out and would faine perswade mee that the curse of the trees resemble's not my disease But I hope that I shall came this heart of mine and put it to silence when I shall search more narrowly in to the sacred booke Wherfore did the Prophet say that hee heard from the Lord God of hosts a Consumption Is 28.22 determined even upon the whole earth VVas it not because the people sayd vers 15 They had made a covenant with death and with hell they were at agreement when the overflowing scourge should passe thorow it should not come nigh them for they had made lyes their refuge and under falsehood they had hid themselves Doeth not the Lord by the mouth of Moses threaten the people saying If yee will not hearken unto mee Lev 26 14. vers 16 and will not doe these commandements I will allso doe this unto you I will even appoint over you terrour Consumption and the burning ague that shall consume the eyes and cause sorrow of heart Doeth hee not againe menace them and say Deut 28. The Lord shall smite thee with a Consumption and a feaver and with an inflammation and with an extreame burning Doeth not the Prophet tell the people saying Is 10.22 vers 23. The Consumption decreed shall over-flow in righteousnesse for the Lord God of hosts shall make a Consumption even determined in the midst of all the land O my conscience my conscience thou art now at a standâ— O my heart my hardest heart thou art now struck dead Loe here 's my very disease my Consumption and is here not my sinne too Have I never made a covenant with death or beene at agreement with hell Have I never made lyes my refuge or hid my selfe under false-hood Have I not refused to hearken to my God and to doe his commandements O how faine would I have attributed my disease to fecond causes and rather have thanked the Physitian then the Divine for telling mee the ground But now I am at a stand and must needs confesse in the midst of my torments that I find in them the displeasure of my maker I cannot urge one act of goodnesse that ever I did to pleade my pardon for the least for the smallest sinne which I have committed Alas I find my destinie in the booke of Psalmes where the Prophet telleth mee that The wicked shall perish Ps 37.20 and the enemies of the Lord shall be as the fatt of lambs they shall Consume into smoake shall they Consume away O were I but worthy to be ranked in the forme with Aoraham I might as well as hee be styled The friend of God Iam 2.23 But my conscience telleth mee that though God be my friend in his goodnesse and longsuffering yet never was I hitherto a friend of his Such a friend to him indeede I am as hee was whom in his meekenesse hee called a friend Mat 22 12. hee who shifted in for a dinner among the guests that were invited But what became of him Alas when hee was found not having on a wedding garment vers 11 vers 13 the Lord then said unto his servants Bind him hand and foote and take him away and cast him into outward darknesse there shal be weeping and gnashing of teeth O this dreadfull sentence have I deserved besides this consumption which I now groane under and all because I am an enemie of the Lord's This shall be the plague saith the Prophet wherewith the Lord shall smite all the people that have fought against Ierusalem Zech 14.12 Their flesh shall consume away while they stand upon their feete and their eyes shall consume away in their holes and their tongue shall consume away in their mouth Ierusalem is the vision of peace Gal 4.26 But I have allways warred against it The Church upon earth hath found mee an adversarie and that Ierusalem which is above hath found mee an enemie This is my fault and justly therfore doe I feele this punishment For this offence my flesh consumeth away while I stand on my feete mine eyes are mistied and over-cast with dimnesse and my tongue is so feeble that I can skarce complaine I may now cry out as Hezekiah did and say Mine age is departed Is 38.12 and is removed from mee as a sheep-heard's tent I have cutt off like a weaver my life hee will cutt mee off with pining sicknesse from day even to night wilt thou make an end of mee But let mee not forget the sinne of Hezekiah His heart was lifted up 2. Châ—… 32.25 therfore there was wrath upon him and upon Iudah and upon Hierusalem Let mee not forget mine owne sinne My heart hath beene lifted up too I have beene proude yea I have swelled with scorne and contempt O that with Hezekiah too vers 26 I could humble my selfe for the pride of my
description of the manner of the sease p. 575 2 The cause of the Malady p. 581 3 The hope of recovery p. 592 The Prayer p. 605 25 Teares of a Mother on her deathbed blessing her children The Soliloquie Consisting of two parts viz 1 Her preparation to blesse them p. 609 2 The blessing it selfe ending in a Prayer p. 616 26 Teares of a dying Woman wherein is set downe her Religious exercises 1 a Soliloquie in which is set forth 1 a desire of life p. 627 2 Certainty of death p. 637 2 A godly preparation against the minuit of death p. 644 3 A Prayer of the Sicke p. 654 4 The Consolation of the godly in the hower of death p. 658 5 The Resignation of the foule into the hands of God p. 664 27 Teares in the distressed time of Civill Warrs The Soliloquie Containing a Patheticall grievous Lamentation for the present distractions both in our Church and Commonwealth by reason of these cruell most bloody warrs p. 669 The First prayer wherein is set downe 1. Gods Iustice in punishing his owne people in former times 2 His Iustice also in the present punishing us for our offences 3 An earnest supplication for our repentance and his forgivenesse p. 701 The second Prayer consisting of 1 A dolefull complaint of our grievous Calamities 2 An humble desire of the Remission of our sins 3 A fervent supplicatioÌ„ for righteousnesse peace p. 713 The third Prayer wherein the Lord is humbly implored that our bloody battels may bee turned into a spirituall war fare p. 722 FINIS THE FIRST SVBJECT Teares of godly sorrow or Devout Melancholy wherein a flexible disposition apt to weepe imployeth those Teares in a sorrow for sin The sanctified Ejaculation to precede each severall meditation and prayer Psal 5. vers 1. Give eare to my words o Lord consider my meditation vers 2. Hearken unto the voice of my cry my king and my God for unto thee will I pray THE MEDITATION WHy art thou so full of heavinesse Ps 42.6 o my soule and why art thou so disquieted within mee What nothing but teares Nothing â—ut sighs and throbs of â trembling soule Griefe without cause is madnesse and without moderation it is hopelesse I must â—herfore looke into the cause and hope it is Religion that raiseth this tempest But let mee not erre in my judgment Is my sin the cause of my sorrow Or doe not I rather adde to my sinne by the pretence of my ground That teare of a faithfull soule which floweth from the conscience of evill purifieth the conscience and freeth from punishment If the weight of my transgressions depresseth my soule the comforts of the Crucified shall restore me to ioy Oh the first cause of my blubbered eye was that which made our parents strive to hide them selves from the sight of our Creatour Gen 3.8 Since that very offence it hath beene a sin not to weepe and yet too much weeping may be turned into sin Teares are the effect of sin and teares may be the actours of sin Thus even our best actions have their pollutions our griefe for our offences may as well displease as pacifie the offended Deitie But surely I grieve for mine iniquities which have incensed my Creatour I sorrow because I can expresse noe more sorrow for my faults Thus farre my passion then is religion Ps 56.8 Lu 7.38 my God shall put these teares into his bottell Thus Mary Maydalene stood at the feete of my Saviour behind him weeping washing his feete with her teares and wiping them with the haires of her head My sin is the ground of my shame and my shame enforceth mee to come behind that Iesus Ier 9 1 whom Mary thus embalmed O that my head were waters mine eyes a fountaine of teares that I might thus weepe day and night for the offences which I have committed But doe not I slaunder my teares Am I not mis-taken in the cause God forbid Noe cause can be so great as the greatnesse of my sinns and yet even these may multiply when I most lament them O my God accept of the teares which I shed for my sinns sanctifie my sorrowes that they turne not into offences Yet I find in the Scripture other causes of laments 2. King 20.5 Ier 9.17 Thus the All-mighty not onely heard the prayers of Hezekiah but saw his teares too when hee pleaded for life The Iewes were commanded to call for the mourning women to make hast and take up a wayling for them that their eyes might runne downe with teares their eyelids gush out with water because the voyce of wayling was heard out of Zion the destruction of the lewes was hard at hand Thus the Prophets eyes did faile with teares Lam 2.11 his bowells were troubled his liver was powred upon the earth for tâe destruction of Ierusalem This griefe arose from the sense of their sorrow That the most high was prouoked by the sin of the prople What the Iewes deserâ—ed may be my râ—ward and what Ierusalem expected may be my heavy doome for the fame God is offended with mee and my sinns have merited the height of his vengeance Yet the more I sin the more hee spare's expecting some measure of my sorrow for my boundlesse offences O let my teares be his by a gracious acceptance as my sin is made his by his fathers imputation for hee alone who wept in the garden can pleade my attonement and by the power of his passion restore mee to comfort Incredulity in part did trouble the man in the Gospel Mar 9.14 whose sonne was Possessed with a devill both deafe and dumb yet hee cryed out and said with teares Lord I believe help my un-beliefe Deafnesse I find doeth hang in mine eare too even in the house of my God for when mine attention is required to the words which distil from the mouth of the preacher even then the poison of the serpent makes mee imitate the adder refusing to heare the voyce of the charmer Ps 58.4 5. When I should counsaile my brethren when I should publish the trueth when I should confesse my sinns woe is mee the string of my tongue is knitt Iam. 3.5 the dores of my lipps are sealed up and though mine unruly litle member is active in the language of all impiety yet it is stricken dumb with silence when it should publish mine enormities Whence growe's this dumbnesse whence this deafnesse Lord shouldest thou be so deafe to my cries or dumb to my heart I should never hope for the mercies of my Redeemer But some faith thou hast given mee in the merits of his passion doe thou increase it The seede is thine the planting is thine Lord let it flourish that the advantage may be mine Mar 13 32. It is as yet the least of all seedes let it grow into a tree that the birds the birds of Paradise may nest in the
15 that seede fell on this ground this good ground for so I then was and with an honest vers 15 and good heart having heard the word I kept it and brought forth fruit with patience Sure I did I brought forth fruit good fruit or else I am much deceaved But why then Gen 3.18 doe I now lye fallow Why doe I produce nothing but thornes thistles the curse of the earth Heb 6.8 1. Cor. 3.9 Why nothing but thornes briers whose end is to be burned I was in those dayes ah I was Gods husbandrie but since that time hee hath left mee off my ground is growne out of heart quite out of heart for hee would digge mee noe more hee would plough mee noe more hee would soyle mee noe more But what is the cause of his anger Wherfore did hee thus leave mee thus forsake mee Alas the reason is too manifest I would needes take the plough out of his hands I would not suffer him willingly any longer to breake up the fallow ground of my heart Ier 4.3 but I my selfe would plough And what is the effect What is the event thereof Nothing but miserie nothing but woe for I have ploughed wickednesse Hos 10 13. and I have reaped iniquity and eaten the fruit of lyes I would needes follow mine owne wayes Deu 22 10. and plough with an oxe and an asse with thoughts cleane uncleane pure and impure ioyning them together and therfore to my woe I find the words of King Solomon in mee most sadly ve rified Prov. 21.4 Iob 4.8 that the ploughing of the wicked is sinne And yet I ahwretched I doe still follow the plough I plough iniquitie and sow wickednesse and yet for all that I looke not to reape the Same but I expect fondly I expect a harvest of goodnesse a croppe of blessings Ps 129.6 But now I find that those blessings doe wither even before they grow up The mower I find vers 7. cannot fill his hand with them nor hee that bindeth up sheaves his bosome Neither doe they which goe by say vers 8. The blessing of the Lord be upon you wee blesse you in the name of the Lord. Oh if God would but once againe take mee into his care and husbandrie Ps 1.3 I might bring forth good fruit in due season Then though I should goe on my way weeping Ps 126.6 yet I might beare pretious seede come againe with reioycing bringing my sheaves with mee This I might doe if hee would manure mee if hee would dung mee Lord 1. Cor. 4.13 let mee rather be made as the filth of the world the off-scowring of all things then not be manured by thee Make mee to account all things but dung Phil. 3.8 that I may winne thee and that so winning thee I may once againe be in heart that I may have a heart Deu 5.29 even such a heart may be in mee that I may feare thee and keepe all thy commandements illway that it may be well with mee for ever I had once a soft heart like Iob Iob 23.16 Eph. 4.32 2. Chr. 34.27 for God made it soft and the Allmighty troubled mee I had a tender heart apt to forgive a heart that was tender for I humbled my selfe before my God like Iosiah and rent my clothes and wept before him Hee did mollifie it made it fleshie hee tooke the stonie heart out of my flesh Eze 11.19 gave mee an heart of flesh not givē to the flesh to the fowlenesse the filthinesse of the flesh but such a heart of flesh as was flexible soft easie to be pierced I could weepe lament for every sinne for every transgression which I had committed against my good God It was a melting heart it would melt like the hearts of the Babilonians Is 13.7 Ps 22.14 when their destruction was threatned to be effected by the Medes it would melt like waxe in the midst of my bowells And well it might melt for it would burne it would burne within mee like the hearts of the two disciples goeing to Emaus Luc 24 32. yet this heart-burning was noe disease neither but as it was with David when mine heart was hott within mee then in my meditation the fire burned Ps 39.3 And well againe might it melt into teares for it was a mourning heart Eccl 7.4 Io 16.6 it delighted to be in the house of mourning it was full of sorrow as were the hearts of the disciples when Christ had tould them of the persecutions which they should suffer I had greate thoughts of heart Iud 5.15 Ps 119.161 such as were for the divisions of Reuben a heart very awfull for it stood in a we of the word of my God This heart of flesh so soft and tender so mollified and melting so burning so mourning this sorrowfull and thoughtfull heart was so apt for any impression of goodnesse that like unto Solomon I could find in it 2 Sam. 7.27 I could find an aptnes in it to pray unto the Lord. Prov 3.3 It was a writing table God had written mercy and trueth upon the table there of and in more perfect characters too then the Gentiles had Rom 2 15. I could shew the worke of the law written in my heart It was a loving heart Mat 5.43 it would love my neighbour and not hate mine enemies It was a broken heart and allthough 't was broken yet was it whole I could seeke the Lord like Iehosaphat 2 Chr 22.9 with my whole heart Yea this I could doe as Abimelech sayd of himselfe concerning his taking of Sarah Gen 20.5 Ps 119.10 Abraham's wife I could doe it in the integrity of my heart innocency of my hands With this whole heart I could seeke the Lord I could love him I could believe I could praise him Deu 4.29 c 6.5 I could seeke him with all my heart and with all my soule I could love him yea I could love the Lord my God with all my heart and with all my soule with all my might I could believe as Philip sayd to the Eunuch I could believe Act 8.37 Ps 9.1 even with all my heart I could praise him all so even with David I could praise the Lord with my whole heart Ps 119.80 This whole heart was sound too as David prayed even sound in the statutes of my God that I might not be ashamed This sound heart was single too single even like those good servants whom Saint Paul commandeth to be obedient unto them that are their masters according to the flesh with feare and trembling Ep 6.5 in singlnesse of heart as unto Christ Act 2.46 I could eate my meate with gladnesse Act 2.46 Ps 12.2 and singlnesse of heart It was not then my custome to speake vanitie unto my neighbour to speake with flattering
pearle shall be made to forgett it's vallew rather then I will prize it above my charitie Even these very jewells shall be sould and consumed rather then I will valew my pride above my bountie They shall be parcelled out in severall summs and the naked shall weare them in their needefull apparell Or if these pearles being sould dispersed to the poore will not discover enough of my Christian compassion from mine eyes shall droppe such a plentifull store that my heart shall be free in it's liberall bountie and manifest thereby my tender affection There is a pearle which my Saviour mentions exceeding Mat 13 45. vers 46 all the treasures of the earth For that pearle will I learne to play the marchant and sell both this and all that I have for the purchase of that I neede not feare the want of ornaments if I part from these to be partaker of that for that pearle is a citty Reu 21 10. and that citty is great and holy even the holy Ierusalem whose light is like a Iasper stone vers 11 cleere as Chrystall vers 18 The bulding of the wall thereof is of Iasper the citty pure gold like unto cleere glasse the foundations of the wall are garnished with all māner of pretious stones vers 19 even with a Iasper a Saphir a Calcedony vers 21 an Emerald a Sardonix a Sardius a Chrisolite a Berill a Topaz a Chrysophrasus a Iacinct vers 21 and an Amethist the twelve gates are twelve pearles every severallgate a pearle and the very streete of the citty is pure gold as it were transparent glasse O who would not leave this drossie perishing gold for that which is so pure and shall last for ever Who would not forsake these mock and triviall jemmes for those most precious and unvalluable jewells Long since did my Saviour tell his disciples that it is easier for a camel to goe thorow the eye of a needle Mat 19 24. then for the rtch to enter into the Kingdome of God What then shall I doe who am borne downe from that Kingdome by the weight of my riches and kept out from the doore by the bundles the greatenesse of the baggs which I would carie When the ruler professed that hee had kept all the commandements of God from his youth Luc 18 21. vers 22 yet lacked hee one thing Hee was to sell all that hee had and give to the poore and then it was promised hee should have treasure in heaven But when hee heard this vers 23 hee was very sorrowfull for hee was very rich For my part I must confesse that I have beene farre more carefull to keepe my treasure then the commandement of God Yet if I had done it even from my youth as the ruler boasted howsoever my plenty would informe mee of my want One thing yet the ruler wanted and that one thing still I stand in neede of I want the diminishing of this earthly trash I must sell all that I have and give to the poore O I feare that this command will bee very sad and sorrowfull to mee too because I am very rich The more I possesse the more sorrow will arise when I shall part from my possessions But thus I must doe if I expect what I desire All must goe for the purchase of that pearle The poore must have baggs to receave my riches and then my store shall be treasured in heaven Yet am I not bound so to give to the poore as thereby to be one of the number of them Charitie unbounded becometh prodigalitie Those that are liberall must disperse with freedome but not with excesse Hee that command's mee to releive the poore command's mee not to give 'till I am poore If once I be reduced to such a penurie I shall be quite deprived of the power to be liberall What therfore is mine I will not impropriate and keepe onely to my selfe but first having furnished my selfe for necessitie I will preferre the wants of my brethren before my convenience or my delight I will not deny my felse the use of the creatures in a lawfull manner nor yet will I proudly satisfie my curiositie leave the indigent out of my thoughts I will labour to make these earthly riches serviceable to the donour even the God of heaven and that I may the better effect my desires I will humble my selfe on my knees at his foote-stoole and besiech him to bow downe his eare to my petitions while I pray unto him and say The Prayer HEavenly father Lord of plenty thou who hast created the world by thy power and continuest thy love in thy providence and protection to thee doe I render thanks for my plenty and to thee doe I offer the service of my store What I have is thine Ps 24.1 for the earth is thine and all that therein is the compasse of the world and they that dwell therein It is thou onely that givest a blessing to the fruit of the land Deut 7 13. to the corne to the wine and to the oyle to the increase of the Kine and of the flocks of the sheepe It is thou onely that commandest thy blessing in the store-houses c 28.8 and in all that thy servants doe set their hands unto Lord make mee one of thy faithfull servants that what thou hast sent mee may be a restimonie of thy love and not of thy hatred ◠Tim. 6.17 Make mee all ways magnifie thee in my time of plenty and not be high-minded nor trust in these uncertaine riches but in thee the living God who givest mee richly all things to enjoy O suffer mee not so to treasure up the deceitfull riches of this sinfull world Luc. 12 25. as thereby forgetting to be rich towards thee but as from thy bounty I receave these temporall blessings so in thy mercy make mee abound in grace 2. Cor 9.8 that allways having all sufficiency in all things I may abound to every good worke vers 11 and be enriched in every thing to all bountifullnesse that through mee it may cause thanksgiving unto thee my Lord and my God In this my prosperity give mee humility and prepare mee for adversitie if it shall please thee at any time to send it unto mee Give mee a sense of the afflictions of many of thy saints and distressed servants enlarge my heart that I may be ready and forward to contribute to their necessities Make mee shew mercy with cheerefullnesse Rom. 12.8 and possesse with thankfullnesse what thou sendest unto mee that I may neither forget thee in thy members nor deny thee to be the giver Let mee never stop mine eares at the cryes of the distressed who begge for reliefe in the name of thy selfe Thou ô Christ 2. Cor 8.9 who wert rich didst for my sake become poore that so through thy poverty thou mightest make mee rich Lord make mee as willing to bee
and my petitions to God must be likewise upon conditions when I begge of him but temporall blessings His blessings descend not unlesse they be called downe by my religious obedience nor may I pray for the blessings which concerne this life but with this condition If they may stand with his pleasure In his power it is to graunt the suite which so earnestly I make I wish it may be his pleasure to fullfill my desires Barren Sarai was promised a sonne and Isaak was borne Gen. 21 2.3 Lu 1.7 vers 57 Gen. 29 31. c 30.22 vers 23 Though Zacharias and Elizabeth were stricken in yeeres and Elizabeth was barren yet they were blessed with Iohn the Baptist. Though Leah was hated by reason of her barrennesse yet wee reade that the Lord did open her wombe God remembred Rachel and hearkened unto her and opened her wombe and shee conceaved and bare a sonne and sayd God hath taken away my reproach The wife of Manoah the Danite was barren Iud. 13.2 vers 3. vers 14 yet the Angel of the Lord appeared unto her and sayd unto her Behold now thou art barren and bearest not but thou shalt conceave and beare a sonne And the woman bare a sonne called his name Samson and the child grew and the Lord blessed him 1. Sam. 1.10 Barren Hannah was in bitternesse of soule for want of a child when Peninnah her fruitfull rivall provoked her sore to make her fret vers 6. vers 20 because the Lord had shut up her wombe and shee had a sonne whom shee named Samuel Thus may God if hee please looke upon my reproach and send mee a child which I may dedicate to his service I will therfore follow the stepps of Hannah the devout vers 15 I will weepe with her and I will fast with her and with her will I powre out my soule before the Lord. Who knoweth but my teares may prevayle through the merits of my Redeemer and my sobbs and sighes may draw downe a blessing Ps 30.8 On my knees therfore will I goe unto the Lord and gett mee unto my Lord right humbly I will weepe and pray and mourne and pray and sigh and pray and praying I will say The Prayer HEeavenly King father of mercies Ps 72.5 thou who tookest mee out of my mother's wombe but hast denyed unto mee the fruit of mine vouchsafe to looke upon the reproach of thy servant I know that my sinnes doe stoppe the current of thy mercies but it is thine honour that thou art a forgiver of offences Forgive my sinnes the cause of thy curse and heale the barrennesse of thy despised hand-mayd 1. Sam. 1.11 O Lord of hosts if thou wilt indeede looke upon the affliction of thine hand-mayd and remember mee and not forget thine hand-mayd but wilt give unto thine hand-mayd a man-child then I will give him unto thee all the dayes of his life Thou knowest that I am a woman of a sorrowfull spirit and out of the aboundance of my complaint vers 16 and griefe doe I pray unto thee Send mee I beseech thee a Samuël even such a child as I have asked of thee if it may stand with the pleasure of thee my Lord and King that may bring honour unto thee and comfort unto thy petitioner I shall never bee satisfied untill thou hearest my supplications Pro. 30 15. Either graunt my desires or arme mee with patience that in all things I may serve thee with quietnesse Mat 4.28 and content The earth thou hast made to bring forth fruit of her selfe and it is as easie for thee to blesse mee with increase But if thou hast otherwise determined in thy secret will howsoever graunt that I may never conceave wickednesse in my heart Act 5.4 to whom thou denyest the conception of a child Iam. 1.15 Let not lust conceave in mee lest it bring forth sinne and sinne when it is finished bring forth death Say unto my heart as effectually as once thou didst unto the fig-tree Mat 21 19. Gal 5.22 vers 23 Heb. 12 11. let noe such fruit grow on thee hence forth for ever but let mee allways produce the fruits of the spirit against which thine Apostle assureth mee that there is noe law Let this thy chastening yeeld unto mee the peaceable fruit of righteousnesse since I am exercised therein so shall I willingly submit to thy pleasure and beseech thee to graunt mee comfort and joy in that blessed sonne of a happie woman even Iesus Christ my onely Lord and Saviour Amen THE TWELFTH SUBjECT Teares of a child-bearing woman 1 At the time when she beginneth to fall in travell 2 After her deliverie I st Her teares when she beginneth to fall in travell The Soliloquie consisting of three parts viz 1 The cause of the sorrow and the confidence of the sorrowing 2 The greatenesse of the pangs hazards and feares of a travelling woman 3 Consolation and comfort for a woman in the bitternesse of her travell The first part of the Soliloquie treating of the cause of the sorrow and the confidence of the sorrowing THE EjACULATION Psal 5. vers 1. Give eare to my words ô Lord consider my meditation vers 2. Hearken unto the voyce of my cry my King and my God for unto the will I pray VVHen David confessed his actuall crimes hee forgot not the guilt of originall corruption therfore he professed saying Behold I was shapen in iniquitie vers 5. and in sinne did my mother conceave mee By the corruption of nature even Saint Paul himselfe was not without sinne that dwelled in him That which is borne of the flesh is flesh Rom 7 17. Io. 3.6 as my Saviour himselfe did tell Nicoden us and this flesh concludeth us all to be carnall Rom 7 14. and sold under sinne This originall stayne is the ground of all our actuall impieties justly therfore is the birth of a child accompanied with the torments and sorrowes of the mother left women should forget the tast of the apple I will greatly multiply thy sorrow Gen 3.16 and thy conception sayd the Lord unto Eve in sorrow thou shalt bring forth children O this heavie chastisement doth now approach to make mee sensible of my sinfull beginning As I caused the teares to flow from the eyes of my groaning mother so now even in mine eyes doe they likewise arise through the pangs which doe seize on mee by reason of my babe Lord what a trembling possesseth every joynt of mee and when I hope for ease by changing my seate or lying on my Couch or attempting to walke even in every place doeth the sharpnesse of the paine increase its strength and though I multiply my cryes yet mine anguish ceaseth not O what miserable perplexities are wee weake and sinfull women involved in Wee who can worst endure are most afflicted and allthough our tempers and constitutions conclude us weaker by farre then our husbands