two old Men went away the one to his Satisfaction the other with eternal Shame and Disgrace and the Beholders were astonish'd Insomuch that the Person who was commission'd to Register Sancho's Words and Actions and observe his Behaviour was not able to determine whether he should not give him the Character of a wise Man instead of that of a Fool which he had been thought to deserve No sooner was this Tryal over but in came a Woman haling along a Man that look'd like a good substantial Grazier Justice my Lord Governour Justice cry'd she aloud and if I cannot have it on Earth I 'll have it from Heaven Sweet Lord Governour this wicked Fellow met me in the Middle of a Field and has had the full Use of my Body he has handl'd me like a Dishclout Woe 's me he has robb'd me of that which I had kept these three and twenty Years Wretch that I am I had guarded it safe from Natives and Foreigners Christians and Infidels I have been always as tough as Cork no Salmander ever kept it self more entire in Fire nor no Wool among the Briers than did poor I till this lewd Man with nasty Fists handl'd me at this rate Woman Woman quoth Sancho no Reflections yet whether your Gallant 's Hands were nasty or clean that 's not to the Purpose Then turning to the Grazier Well Friend said he what have you to say to this Woman's Complaint My Lord answer'd the Man looking as if he had been frighted out his Wits I am a poor Drover a Hog-man and this Morning I was going home from this Market where I had sold under correction be it spoken four Hogs and what with the Duties and the sharping Tricks of the Officers I hardly clear'd any Thing by the Beasts Now as I was trudging home whom should I pick up by the Way but this Hedge-Madam here and the Devil who has a Finger in every Pye being powerful forc'd us to yoke together I gave her that which would have contented any reasonable Woman but she was not satisfied and wanted more Money and would never leave me till she had dragg'd me hither She 'll tell ye I ravish'd her but by the Oath I 've taken or mean to take she lies like a Drab as she is and this is every Tittle true Fellow quoth Sancho hast thou any Silver about thee Yes an 't like your Worship answer'd the Drover I have some twenty Ducats in Silver in a leathern Purse here in my Bosom Give it the Plaintiff Money and all quoth Sancho The Man with a trembling Hand did as he was commanded The Woman took it and dropp'd a thousand Curtsies to the Company wishing on her Knees as many Blessings to the good Governour who took such special Care of poor Fatherless and Motherless Children and abus'd Virgins and then she nimbly tripp'd out of Court holding the Purse fast in both her Hands though first she took care to Peep into it to see whether the Silver were there Scarce was she gone when Sancho turning to the Fellow who stood with the Tears in his Eyes and look'd as if he had parted with his Blood as well as his Money Friend said he run and overtake the Woman and take the Purse from her whether she will or no and bring it hither The Drover was neither so deaf nor so mad as to be twice bid away he flew like Lightning after his Money The whole Court was in mighty Expectation and could not tell what could be the End of the Matter But a while after the Man and the Woman came back â—he pulling and she tugging she with her Petticoat tuck'd up and the Purse in her Bosom and he using all the Strength he had to get it from her But it was to no purpose for the Woman defended her Prize so well that all his Manhood little avail'd Justice cry'd she for Heaven's sake Justice Gentlemen Look you my Lord see this impudent Ruffian that on the King's High-way nay in the Face of the Court would rob me of my Purse the very Purse you condemn'd him to give me And has he got it from you ask'd the Governour Got it quoth the Woman I 'll lose my Life before I 'll lose my Purse I were a pretty Baby then to let him wipe my Nose thus No you must set other Dogs upon me than this sorry sneaking mangy Whelp Pincers Hammers Mallets and Chizzels shan't wrench it out of my Clutches no not the Claws of a Lion they shall sooner have my Soul than my Money She says the Truth my Lord said the Fellow for I am quite spent The Jade is too strong for me I cannot grapple with her Sancho then call'd to the Pemale Here quoth he Honesty You She-Dragon let me see the Purse The Woman deliver'd it to him and then he return'd it to the Man Hark you Mistress said he to her had you shew'd your self as stout and valiant to defend your Body nay but half so much as you 've done to defend your Purse the Strength of Hercules could not have forc'd you Hence Impudence get out of my Sight Away with a Pox to you and do not offer to stay in this Island nor within six Leagues of it on pain of two hundred Lashes Out as fast as you can you tricking brazen-fac'd Brimstone Hedge-Drab away The Wench was in a terrible fright and sneak'd away hanging down her Head as shamefully as if she had been catch'd in the Deed of Darkness Now Friend said the Governour to the Man get you home with your Money and Heaven be with you But another Time if you han't a mind to come off worse be sure you don't yoke with such Cattle The Drover thank'd him as indifferently as he could and away he went and all the People admir'd afresh their new Governour 's Judgment and Sentences An Account of which was taken by him that was appointed to be his Historiographer and forthwith transmitted to the Duke who expected it with Impatience Now let us leave honest Sancho here for his Master with great Earnestness requires our Attendance Altisidora's Serenade having strangely discompos'd his Mind CHAP. XLVI Of the dreadful Alarms given to Don Quixote by the Bells and Cats during the Course of Altisidora's Amours WE left the great Don Quixote profoundly buried in the Thoughts into which the enamour'd Altisidora's Serenade had plung'd him He threw himself into his Bed but the Cares and Anxieties which he brought thither with him like so many Fleas allow'd him no Repose and the Misfortune of his torn Stocking added to his Affliction But as Time is swift and no Bolts nor Chains can bar his rapid Progress posting away on the Wings of the Hours the Morning soon revolv'd At the Return of Light Don Quixote more early than the Sun forsook his downy Bed put on his Shamoy-Apparel and drawing on his walking Boots conceal'd in one of 'em the Disaster of his Hose he threw his Scarlet Cloak over
Sheep and no Army Friend Sancho reply'd Don Quixote know 't is an easie matter for Negromancers to change the Shapes of Things as they please Thus that malicious Enchanter who is my inveterate Enemy to deprive me of the Glory which he saw me ready to acquire while I was Reaping a full Harvest of Laurels transform'd in a Moment the routed Squadrons into Sheep If thou wilt not believe me Sancho yet do one thing for my sake do but take thy Ass and follow those suppos'd Sheep at a distance and I dare engage thou shalt soon see 'em resume their former Shapes and appear such as I describ'd em But stay do not go yet for I want thy Assistance Draw near and see how many Cheek-Teeth and others I want for by the dreadful Pain in my Jaws and Gums I fear there 's a total Dilapidation in my Mouth With that the Knight open'd his Mouth as wide as he cou'd while the Squire gap'd to tell his Grinders with his Snowt almost in his Chaps but just in that fatal Moment the Balsam that lay wambling and fretting in Don Quixote's Stomach came up with an unlucky Hickup and with the same violence that the Powder flies out of a Gun all that he had in his Stomach discharg'd it self upon the Beard Face Eyes and Mouth of the officious Squire Oh holy Mother Mary cry'd poor Sancho what wâ—ll become of me My Master is a dead Man he 's Vomitting his very Heart's Blood But he had hardly said this when the Colour Smell and Taste soon undeceiv'd him and finding it to be his Master 's loathsom Drench it turn'd his queasie Stomach and caus'd such a sudden Rumbling in his Maw that before he cou'd turn his Head he unladed the whole Cargo of his Gizard full in his Master's Face and put him in as delicate a Pickle as he was himself Sancho having thus paid him in his own Coin half blinded as he was ran to his Ass to take out something to clean himself and his Master But when he came to look for his Wallet and found it missing not remembring till then that he had unhappily left it in the Inn oh then he was ready to run quite out of his Wits he storm'd and stamp'd and curs'd himself worse than before and resolv'd with himself to let his Master go to the Devil and e'en trudge home by himself tho' he were sure to lose his Wages and his hopes of being Governor of the promis'd Island Thereupon Don Quixote got up with much ado and clapping his left hand before his Mouth that the rest of his loose Teeth might not drop out he laid his right on Rozinante's Bridle for such was the good Nature of the Creature that he had not budg'd a Foot from his Master then he crept along to Squire Sancho that stood lolling on his Asse's Pannel with his Faâ—e in the hollow of both his hands in a doleful moody melancholic Fit Friend Sancho said he seeing him thus abandon'd to Sorrow learn of me that one Man is no more than another if he do no more than what another does All these Storms and Hurricanes are but Arguments of the approaching Calm better Success will soon follow our past Calamities good and bad Fortune hâ—ve their Vicissitudes and 't is a Maxim That nothing violent can last long And therefore we may well promâ—se our selves a speedy Change in our Fortune since our Afflictions have extended their Reign beyond the usual stint Besides thou oughtst not to afflict thy self so much for Misfortunes of which thou hast no share but what Friendship and Humanity bid thee take How quoth Sancho Have I no other share in ' em Was not he that was tost in the Blanket this Morning the Son of my Father And did not the Wallet and all that was in 't which I have lost belong to the Son of my Mother How ask'd Don Quixot hast thou lost the Wallet I don't know quoth Sancho Whether 't is lost or no but I 'm sure I can't tell what 's become of it Nay then reply'd Don Quixote I find we must Fast to Day Ay marry must we quoth Sancho unless you take Care to gather in these Fields some of those Roots and Herbs which I 've heard you say you know and which use to help such unlucky Knights-Errant as your self at a dead Lift. For all that cry'd Don Quixote I wou'd rather have at this Time a good Luncheon of Bread or a Cake and two Pilchards Heads than all the Roots and Simples in Dioscorides's Herbal and Doctor Laguna's Supplement and Commentary I pray thee therefore get upon thy Ass good Sancho and follow me once more for God's Providence that relieves every Creature will not fail us especially since we are about a Work so much to his Service Thou seest he even provides for the little flying Insects in the Air the Wormlings in the Earth and the Spawnlings in the Water and in his infinite Mercy he makes his Sun shine on the Righteous and on the Unjust and rains upon the Good and the Bad. Many Words won't fill a Bushel quoth Sancho interrupting him you wou'd make a better Preacher than a Knight Errant or I 'm plaguily out Knights-Errant reply'd Don Quixote ought to know all Things There have been such in former Ages that have deliver'd as ingenious and learned a Sermon or Oration at the Head of an Army as if they had taken their Degrees at the University of Paris From which we may infer that the Lance never dull'd the Pen nor the Pen the Lance. Well then quoth Sancho for once let it be as you 'd have it let us e'en leave this unlucky Place and seek out a Lodging where I pray God there may be neither Blankets nor Blanket-heavers nor Hobgoblins nor Inchanted Moors for before I 'll be hamper'd as I 've been may I be Curs'd with Bell Book and Candle if I don't give the Trade to the Devil Leave all Things to Providence reply'd Don Quixote and for once lead which way thou pleases for I leave it wholly to thy Discretion to provide us a Lodging But first I pray thee feel a little how many Teeth I want in my upper Jaw on the right side for there I feel most Pain With that Sancho feeling with his Finger in the Knight's Mouth pray Sir quoth he How many Grinders did your Worship use to have on that side Four answer'd Don Quixote besides the Eye-Tooth all of 'em whole and sound Think well on what you say cry'd Sancho I say Four reply'd Don Quixote if there were not Five for I had never lost a Tooth before this Day Bless me quoth Sancho Why you have in this neather Jaw on this side but two Grinders and a Stump and in that part of your upper Jaw just never a Stump and never a Grinder alas all 's levell'd there as smooth as the Palm of one's Hand Oh unfortunate Don Quixote cry'd the Knight I had rather
Zoraida The Night coming on and the Inn-keeper by order of Don Ferdinand's Friends having made haste to provide them the best Supper he could the Cloath was laid on a long Table there being neither round nor square in the House Don Quixote after much Ceremony was prevail'd upon to sit at the Head he desir'd the Lady Micomicona to sit next to him and the rest of the Company having plac'd themselves according to their Rank and Convenience they eat their Supper very plentifully Don Quixote to raise the diversion never minded his Meat but inspir'd with the same Spirit that mov'd him to preach so much to the Goat-herds he began to hold forth in this manner Certainly Gentlemen if we rightly consider it those who make Knight-Errantry their Profession often meet with most surprizing and stupendous Adventures For what Mortal in the World at this time entring within this Castle and seeing us sit together as we do will imagine and believe us to be the same Persons which in reality we are Who is there that can judge that this Lady by my side is the Great Queen we all know her to be and that I am that Knight of the woefol Figure so universally made known by Fame It is then no longer to be doubted but that this Exercise and Profession surpasses all others that have been invented by Man and is so much the more honourable as it is more expos'd to Dangers Let none presume to tell me that the Pen is preferable to the Sword for be they who they will I shall tell them they know not what they say For the reason they give and on which chiefly they rely is that the labour of the Mind exceeds that of the Body and that the Exercise of Arms depends only on the Body as if the use of them were the Business of Porters which requires nothing but much strength Or as if this which we who profess it call Chivalry did not include the Acts of Fortitude which depend very much upon the Understanding Or else as if that Warriour who Commands an Army or defends a City besieg'd did not labour as much with the Mind as with the Body If this be not so let Experience teach us whether it be possible by bodily strength to discover or guess the intentions of an Enemy The forming Designs laying of Stratagems overcoming of Difficulties and shunning of Dangers are all Works of the Understanding wherein the Body has no share It being therefore evident that the Exercise of Arms requires the help of the Mind as well as Learning let us see in the next place whether the Scholar or the Soldier 's Mind undergoes the greatest labour Now this may be the better known by regarding the End and Object each of them aims at for that intention is to be most valu'd which makes the noblest end its Object The scope and end of Learning I mean humane Learning in this place I speak not of Divinity whose aim is to guide Souls to Heaven for no other can equal a design so infinite as this is to give a perfection to distributive Justice bestowing upon every one his due and to procure and cause good Laws to be observ'd an End really Generous Great and worthy of high Commendation but yet not equal to that which Knight-Errantry tends to whose Object and End is Peace which is the greatest blessing Men can wish for in this Life And therefore the first good News the World receiv'd were those the Angels brought that Night which was the beginning of our Day when they sang in the Air Glory on high and Peace upon Earth to Men of Good Will And the only manner of Salutation taught by the best Master in Heaven or upon Earth to his Friends and Favourites was that entring any House they should say Peace be in this House And at other times he said to them My Peace I give to you My Peace I leave to you Peace be among you A Jewel and Legacy worthy of such a Donor a Jewel so Precious that without it there can be no happiness either in Earth or Heaven This Peace is the true end of War for Arms and War are one and the same thing Allowing then this Truth that the End of War is Peace and that in this it excells the End of Learning let us now weigh the Bodily labours the Scholar undergoes against those the Warriour suffers and then see which are greatest The Method and Language Don Quixote us'd in delivering himself were such that none of his Hearers at that time look'd upon him as a Madman But on the contrary most of them being Gentlemen to whom the use of Arms properly appertains they gave him a willing Attention and he proceeded in this manner These then I say are the sufferings and hardships a Scholar endures First Poverty not that they are all Poor but to urge the worst that may be in this case and having said he endures Poverty methinks nothing more need be urg'd to express his Misery for he that is poor enjoys no happiness but labours under this Poverty in all its parts at one time in Hunger at another in Cold another in Nakedness and sometimes in all of them together yet his Poverty is not so great but still he Eats though it be later than the usual Hour and of the scraps of the Rich which is the greatest of a Scholar's Misfortunes neither can the Learned wholly want another Man's Fire or Chimney-corner where though they be not thoroughly heated yet they gather warmth and at last they lie at Night under Covert I will not touch upon other less material Circumstances as the want of Linnen and scarcity of Shooes the thinness and baldness of their Cloaths and their Surfeiting when good Fortune throws a Feast in their way This is the difficult and uncouth path they tread often stumbling and falling yet rising again and pushing on till they attain the Preferment they aim at whither being arriv'd we have seen many of them who having been carry'd by a Fortunate Gale through all these Quick-sands from a Chair Govern the World their Hunger being chang'd into Satiety their Cold into comfortable Warmth their Nakedness into Magnificence of Apparel and the Mat they us'd to lie upon into stately Beds of costly Silks and softest Linnen a Reward due to their Virtue But yet their sufferings being compar'd with those the Soldier endures appear much inferiour as I shall in the next place make out CHAP. XI A Continuation of Don Quixote's curious Discourse upon Arms and Learning SInce speaking of the Scholar we began by his Poverty and its several parts continu'd Don Quixote let us now observe whether the Soldier be any thing richer than he and we shall find that Poverty it self is not poorer for he depends on his miserable Pay which he receives but seldom or perhaps never or else in that he makes by Marauding with the hazard of his Life and trouble of his
ever For is it possible there shou'd be at this time any Knight-Errants in the World and there shou'd be a true History of a living Knight-Errant in Print I cannot persuade my self there is any body now upon Earth that relieves Widows protects Damsels or assists Married Women and Orphans and I shou'd still be of the same mind had not my Eyes afforded me a sight of such a Person as your self Now Heaven be prais'd for this History of your true and noble Feats of Arms which you say is in Print will blot out the Memory of all those Idle Romances of pretended Knight-Errants that have so fill'd and pester'd the World to the detriment of good Education and the Prejudice and Dishonour of true History There is a great deal to be said answer'd Don Quixote for the Truth of Histories of Knight-Errantry as well as against it How return'd the Gentleman in Green Is there any body living who makes the least scruple but that they are false Yes Sir my self for one said Don Quixote But let that pass If we continue any time together on the Road I hope to convince you that you have been to blame in suffering your self to be carry'd away with the Stream of Mankind that generally disbelieves ' em The Traveller at this discourse began to have a suspicion that Don Quixote was distracted and expected the next words would confirm him in that Opinion But before they enter'd into any further Conversation Don Quixote begg'd him to acquaint him who he was since he had given him some account of his own Life and Condition Sir Knight of the Woeful Figure answer'd the other I am a Gentleman born at a Village where God willing we shall dine by and by My Name is Don Diego de Miranda I have a reasonable Competency I pass my time contentedly with my Wife my Children and my Friends My usual Diversions are Hunting and Fishing yet I keep neither Hawks nor Hounds but some tame Partridges and a Ferret I have about three or fourscore Books some Spanish some Latin some of History and others of Divinity But for Books of Knight-Errantry none ever came within my Doors I am more inclinable to read those that are Profane than those of Devotion if they be such as yield an innocent Amusement and are agreeable for their Style and surprizing for their Invention tho' we have but few of 'em in our own Language Sometimes I eat with my Neighbours and Friends and often I invite 'em to do the like with me My Treats are clean and handsome neither penurious nor superfluous I am not given to murmur and backbite nor do I love to hear others do it I am no curious Inquirer into the Lives and Actions of other People Every Day I hear Divine Service and give to the Poor without making a shew of it or presuming on my good deeds least I shou'd give way to Hypocrisie and Vain-glory Enemies that too easily possess themselves of the best guarded Hearts I endeavour to reconcile those that are at Variance I pay my Devotions to the Blessed Virgin and ever trust in Heaven's infinite Mercy Sancho listen'd with great attention to this Relation of the Gentleman's way of Living and believing that a Person who led so good and pious a Life was able to work Miracles he jump'd in haste from his Ass and catching hold of his right Stirrup with Tears in his Eyes and Devotion in his Heart fell a kissing his Foot What 's the matter Friend cry'd the Gentleman wondring at his proceeding What 's the meaning of this Kissing Oh! good Sir quoth Sancho Let me kiss that dear Foot of yours I beseech you for you are certainly the first Saint on Horse-back I ever saw in my born Days Alas reply'd the Gentleman I am no Saint but a great Sinner You indeed Friend I believe are a good Soul as appears by your Simplicity With that Sancho return'd to his Pack-Saddle having by this Action provok'd the Profound Gravity of his Master to smile and caus'd new Admiration in Don Diego And now Don Quixote enquires of him how many Children he had telling him at the same time that among the things in which the Ancient Philosophers who had not the true Knowledge of God made Happiness consist as the Advantages of Nature and Fortune one was to have many Friends and a numerous and Vertuous Off-spring I have a Son Sir Knight answer'd the Gentleman and perhaps if I had him not I shou'd not think my self the more unhappy not that he is so bad neither but because he is not so good as I wou'd have him He is Eighteen Years of Age the last six he has spent at Salamanca to perfect himself in his Latin and Greek But when I wou'd have had him to have proceeded to the Study of other Sciences I found him so engag'd in that of Poetry if it may be call'd a Science that 't was impossible to make him look either to the Study of the Law which I intended him for or of Divinity the noblest Part of all Learning I was in hopes he might have become an honour to his Family living in an Age in which good and vertuous Literature is highly favour'd and rewarded by Princes for Learning without Vertue is like a Pearl upon a Dunghil He now spends whole Days in examining whether Homer in such a Verse of his Iliads says well or no Whether such an Epigram in Martial ought not to be expung'd for Obscenity And whether such and such Verses in Virgil are to be taken in such a Sense or otherwise In short his whole Converse is with the Celebrated Poets with Horace and Persius Juvenal and Tibullus But as for Modern Rhimers he has but an indifferent Opinion of ' m. And yet for all this Disgust of Spanish Poetry he is now breaking his Brain upon a Paraphrase or Glose on four Verses that were sent him from the University and which I think are design'd for a Prize Sir reply'd Don Quixote Children are the Flesh and Blood of their Parents and whether good or bad are to be cherish'd as part of our selves 'T is the Duty of a Father to train 'em up from their tenderest Years in the Paths of Vertue in good Discipline and Christian Principles that when they advance in Years they may become the staff and support of their Parents Age and the glory of their Posterity But as for forcing them to this or that Study 't is a thing I don't so well approve Persuasion is all I think that is proper in such a case Especially when they are so Fortunate as to be above studying for Bread as having Parents that can provide for their future Subsistence they ought in my Opinion to be indulg'd in the pursuit of that Science to which their own Genius gives them the most Inclination For tho' the Art of Poetry is not so profitable as delightful yet it is none of those that disgrace the ingenious Professor
Cheeses set up like Bricks made a comely Bulwark on the other Two Pans of Oil each bigger than a Dyer's Fat serv'd to fry their Pancakes which they lifted out with two strong Peels when they were fry'd enough and then they dipp'd 'em in as large a Kettle of Honey prepar'd for that purpose To dress all this Provision there were above fifty Cooks Men and Women all cleanly diligent and chearful In the ample Belly of the Steer they had sew'd up twelve little sucking Piggs embowell'd to give it the more savoury Taste Spices of all sorts lay about in such Plenty that they appear'd to be bought by whole-sale In short the whole Provision was indeed Country-like but plentiful enough to feast an Army Sancho beheld all this with wonder and delight The first Temptation that captivated his Senses was the goodly Pots his Bowels yearn'd and his Mouth water'd at the dainty Contents By and by he falls desperately in Love with the Skins of Wine and lastly his affections were fix'd on the Fryingpans if such honourable Kettles may accept of the Name The scent of the fry'd Meat put him into such a commotion of Spirit that he could hold out no longer but accosting one of the busie Cooks with all the smooth and hungry Reasons he was Master of he begg'd his leave to sop a Luncheon of Bread in one of the Pans Friend quoth the Cook no hunger must be felt near us to Day thanks to the Founder Light light Man and if thou canst find ever a Ladle there skim out a Pullet or two and much good may do you Alack a day quoth Sancho I see no Ladle Sir Blood and Suet cry'd the Cook what a silly helpless Fellow thou art Let me see With that he took a Kettle and sowsing into one of the Pots he fish'd out three Hens and a couple of Geese at one heave Here Friend said he to Sancho take this and make shift to stay your Stomach with that Scum till Dinner be ready Heaven reward you cry'd Sancho but where shall I put it Here answer'd the Cook take Ladle and all and thank the Founder once more I say no Body will grudge it thee While Sancho was thus employ'd Don Quixote saw twelve young Farmers Sons all Dress'd very Gay enter upon stately Mares as richly and gaudily equipp'd as the Country could afford with little Bells fasten'd to their Furniture These in a close Body made several Careers up and down the Meadow merrily shouting and crying out long live Camacho and Quiteria he as rich as she Fair and she the fairest in the World Poor Ignorants thought Don Quixote over-hearing them you speak as you know but had you ever seen my Dulcinea del Toboso you would not be so lavish of your Praises here In a little while at several other parts of the spacious Arbour enter'd a great Number of Dancers and among the rest twenty four young active Country-Lads in their fine Holland-Shirts with their Handkerchiefs wrought with several Colours of fine Silk wound about their Heads each of 'em with Sword in Hand These Danc'd a Military Dance and skirmish'd with one another mixing and intermixing with their naked Swords with wonderful sleight and activity without hurting each other in the least This Dance pleas'd Don Quixote mightily and tho' he was no stranger to such sort of Dances he thought it the best he had ever seen There was another he also lik'd very well perform'd all by most Beautiful young Maids between fourteen and eighteen years of Age clad in slight green with their Hair partly filletted up with Ribbons and partly hanging loose about their Shoulders as bright and lovely as the Sun 's Golden Beams Above all they wore Garlands of Roses Jasmine Amaranth and Honey-suckles They were led up by a Reverend Old Man and a Matronly Woman both much more Light and Active than their years seem'd to promise They Danc'd to the Musick of Zamora Bagpipes and such was the Modesty of their Looks and the agility of their Feet that they appear'd the prettiest Dancers in the World After these came in an artificial Dance or Masque consisting of eight Nymphs cast into two Divisions of which Love led one and Wealth the other one with his Wings his Bow his Arrows and his Quiver the other array'd in several gaudy Colours of Gold and Silk The Nymphs of Cupid's Party had their Names inscribed in large Characters behind their Backs The first was Poesy Prudence was the next the third Nobility and Valour was the fourth Those that attended Wealth were Liberality Reward Treasure and Peaceable Possession Bedrawn by four Savages clad in green cover'd over with Ivy and grim surly Vizzards on their Faces so to the Life that they had almost frighted Sancho On the Frontispiece and on every quarter of the Edifice was inscrib'd the Castle of Reservedness Four expert Musicians play'd to them on Pipe and Tabor Cupid began the Dance and after two Movements he cast up his Eyes and bent his Bow against a Virgin that stood upon the Battlements of the Castle addressing himself in this manner The MASQUE LOVE MY Name is Love supreme my Sway The greatest Good and greatest Pain Air Earth and Seas my Power obey And Gods themselves must drag my Chain In every Heart my Throne I keep Fear ne'er could daunt my daring Soul I firâ— the Bosom of the Deep And the profoundest Hell controll Having spoken these Verses Cupid shot an Arrow over the Castle and retir'd to his Station Then Wealth advanc'd and perform'd two Movements after which the Musick stopp'd and he express'd himself thus WEALTH LOve's my Incentive and my End But I 'm a greater Pow'r than Love Tho' Earthly Born I Earth transcend For Wealth 's a Blessing from above Bright Maid with me receive and bless The surest pledge of all Success Desir'd by All us'd right by Few But best bestow'd when grac'd by you Wealth withdrew and Poesy came forward and after she had perform'd her Movements like the rest fixing her Eyes upon the Lady of the Castle repeated these Lines POESY Sweet Poesy in moving Layes Love into Hearts Sense into Souls conveys With Sacred Rage can tune to Bliss or Woe Sways all the Man and gives him Heav'n below Bright Nymph with ev'ry Grace adorn'd Shall noble Verse by Thee be scorn'd 'T is Wit can best thy Beauty prize Then raise the Muse and thou by her shall rise Poesy retir'd and Liberality advanc'd from Wealth 's side and after the Dance spoke this LIBERALITY Behold that noble golden Mean Betwixt the Sparing and Profuse Good Sense and Merit must be seen Where Liberality's in Use But I for Thee will lavish seem For Thee Profuseness I 'll approve For where the Merit is extreme who 'd not be prodigal of Love In this Manner all the Persons of each Party advanc'd and spoke their Verses of which some were pretty and some foolish enough Among the rest Don Quixote who had a very
and what she 's about and here 's my two Reals I 'll have nothing of you before-hand said Master Peter so clapping himself on his left Shoulder up skipp'd the Ape thither at one frisk and laying his Mouth to his Ear grated his Teeth and having made Apish Grimaces and a chattering noise for a minute or two with another skip down he leap'd on the Ground Immediately upon this Master Peter ran to Don Quixote and fell on his Knees and embracing his Legs Oh glorious Restorer of Knight-Errantry cry'd he I embrace these Legs as I would the Pillars of Hercules Who can sufficiently extoll the great Don Quixote de la Mancha the reviver of drooping Hearts the Prop and Stay of the Falling the Raiser of the Fallen and the Staff of Comfort to the Weak and Afflicted At these Words Don Quixote stood amaz'd Sancho quak'd the Page wonder'd the Brayer bless'd himself the Inn-keeper star'd and the Scholar was in a brown Study all astonish'd at Master Peter's Speech who then turning to Sancho And thou honest Sancho Pança said he the best Squire to the best Knight in the World bless thy kind Stars for thy good Spouse Teresa is a good House-wife and is at this instant dressing a pound of Flax by the same token she has standing by her on her left hand a large broken-mouth Jug which holds a pretty scantling of Wine to cheer up her Spirits By yea and nay quoth Sancho that 's likely enough for she 's a true Soul and a jolly Soul and were it not for a Spice of Jealousy that she has now and then I would not change her for the Giantess Andondona herself who as my Master says was as clever a piece of Woman's-Flesh as ever went upon two Legs Well much good may 't do thee honest Teresa you are resolv'd to provide for one I find though your Heirs starve for it Well! said Don Quixote great is the Knowledge procur'd by Reading Travel and Experience What on Earth but the Testimony of my own Eyes could have perswaded me that Apes had the Gift of Divination I am indeed the same Don Quixote de la Mancha mention'd by this ingenious Animal though I must confess somewhat undeserving of so great a Character as it has pleas'd him to bestow on me But nevertheless I am not sorry to have Charity and Compassion bear so great a Part in my Commendation since my Nature has always dispos'd me to do good to all Men and hurt to none Now had I but Money said the Page I would know of Mr. Ape what Luck I shall have in the Wars I have told you already said Master Peter who was got up from before Don Quixote that this Ape does not meddle with what is to come but if he could it should cost you nothing for Don Quixote's sake whom to oblige I would Sacrifice all the Interest I have in the World and as a Mark of it Gentlemen I freely set up my Show and give all the Company in the House some Diversion gratis The Inn-keeper hearing this was overjoy'd and order'd Master Peter a convenient Room to set up his Motion and he immediately went about it In the mean time Don Quixote who could not bring himself to believe that an Ape could do all this taking Sancho to a Corner of the Stable Look ye Sancho said he I have been weighing and considering the wonderful Gifts of this Ape and find in short Master Peter must have made a secret compact with the Devil Nay quoth Sancho misunderstanding the word Compact If the Devil and he have pack'd any thing together in hugger-mugger 't is a pack of Roguery to be sure and they are a pack of Knaves for their pains and let 'em e'en pack together say I. Thou do'st not apprehend me said Don Quixote I mean the Devil and he must have made an Agreement together that Satan should infuse this knowledge into the Ape to purchase the owner an Estate and in return the last has certainly engag'd his Soul to this destructive Seducer of Mankind For the Ape 's Knowledge is exactly of the same proportion with the Devil 's which only extends to the Discovery of things past and present having no Insight into Futurity but by such probable Conjectures and Conclusions as may be deduc'd from the former working of antecedent Causes true Prescience and Prediction being the Sacred Prerogative of God to whose all-seeing Eyes all Ages past present and to come without the distinction of Succession and Termination are always present From this I say 't is apparent this Ape is but the Organ through which the Devil delivers his Answers to those that ask it Questions and this same Rogue should be put into the Inquisition and have the Truth press'd out of his Bones For sure neither the Master nor his Ape can lay any pretence to Judicial Astrology nor is the Ape so conversant in the Mathematicks I suppose as to erect a Scheme Though I must confess that Creatures of less parts as foolish-illiterate Women Footmen and Coblers pretend now a-days to draw Certainties from the Stars as easily and readily as they shuffle a Pack of Cards to the Disgrace of the Sublime Science which they have the Impudence to Profess I knew a Lady that ask'd one of these Figure-casters if a little foisting Bitch she had should have Puppies and how many and of what Colour My Conjurer after he had scrawl'd out his Scheme very judiciously pronounc'd that the pretty Creature should have three delicate Puppies one Green one Red and another Mix'd-colour'd provided she should take Dog between eleven and twelve at Night or Noon either on a Monday or a Saturday and the success happen'd as exactly as could be expected from his Art for the Bitch some Days after dy'd very fairly of a Surfeit and Master Figure-slinger was reputed a special Conjurer all the Town over as most of these Fellows are For all that said Sancho I would have you ask Master Peter's Ape whether the Passages you told us concerning Montesinos's Cave be true or no for saving the respect I owe your Worship I take them to be no better than Fibbs and idle Stories or Dreams at least You may think what you will answer'd Don Quixote however I 'll do as you would have me though I confess my Conscience somewhat scruples to do such a thing While they were thus engag'd in Discourse Master Peter came and told Don Quixote the Show was ready to begin and desir'd him to come and see it for he was sure his Worship would like it The Knight told him he had a Question to put to his Ape first and desir'd he might tell him whether certain things that happen'd to him in Montesinos's Cave were Dreams or Realities for he doubted they had something of both in them Master Peter fetch'd his Ape immediately and placing him just before the Knight and his Squire look you says he Mr. Ape this worthy Knight
bravest Knight the Earth had ever Possess'd As for Sancho he was looking up and down the Garden for the Disconsolate Matron to see what sort of a Face she had got now her Firz-bush was off But he was inform'd that as Clavileno came down Flaming in the Air the Countess with her Women Vanish'd immediately but not one of 'em Chinbristl'd nor so much as a Hair upon their Faces Then the Dutchess ask'd Sancho how he had far'd in his long Voyage Why truly Madam answer'd he I have seen Wonders for you must know that though my Master would not suffer me to pull the Cloath from my Eyes yet as I have a kind of an Itch to know every thing and a Spice of the Spirit of Contradiction still hankering after what 's forbidden me so when as my Master told me we were Flying through the Legion of Fire I shov'd my Handkerchief a little above my Nose and look'd down and what d' you think I saw I spy'd the Earth a hugeous way a far off below me Heaven bless us no bigger than a Mustard-seed and the Men walking to and fro upon 't not much larger than Hazle-Nuts Judge now if we were not got up wounded high Have a Care what you say my Friend said the Dutchess for if the Men were bigger than Hazle-Nuts and the Earth no bigger than a Mustard-seed one Man must be bigger than the whole Earth and cover it so that you cou'd not see it Like enough answer'd Sancho but for all that d' you see I saw it with a kind of a side-Look upon one Part of it or so Look you Sancho reply'd the Dutchess that won't bear for no Thing can be wholly seen by any Part of it Well well Madam quoth Sancho I don't understand your Parts and Wholes I saw it and there 's an end of the Story Only you must think that as we flew by Inchantment so we saw by Inchantment and thus I might see the Earth and all the Men which way soever I look'd I 'll warrant you won't believe me neither when I tell you that when I thrust up the Kerchief above my Brows I saw my self so near Heaven that between the top of my Cap. and the main Sky there was not a Span and a half And Heaven bless us forsooth what a hugeous great Place it is And we happen'd to Travel that Road where the * * The Pleiades vulgarly call'd in Spanish the Seven young She-Goats seven She-Goat-Stars were And Faith and Troth I had such a Mind to Play with 'em having been once a Goat-herd my self that I fancy I 'd have cry'd my self to Death had I not done it So soon as I spy'd 'em what does me I but sneaks down very soberly from behind my Master without telling any living Soul and play'd and leap'd about for three quarters of an Hour by the Clock with the pretty Nanny-Goats who are as sweet and fine as so many Marigolds or Gilly-Flowers And honest Wooden Peg stirr'd not one Step all the while And while Sancho employ'd himself with the Goats ask'd the Duke how was Don Quixote employ'd Truly answer'd the Knight I am sensible all things were alter'd from their Natural Course therefore what Sancho says seems the less strange to me But for my own part I neither saw Heaven nor Hell Sea nor Shore I perceiv'd indeed we pass'd through the middle Region of the Air and were pretty near that of Fire but that we came so near Heaven as Sancho says is altogether incredible because we then must have pass'd quite through the Fiery Region which lies between the Sphere of the Moon and the upper Region of the Air. Now it was impossible for us to reach that part where are the Pleiades or the Seven Goats as Sancho calls 'em without being Consum'd in the Elemental Fire and therefore since we escap'd those Flames certainly we did not soar so high and Sancho either Lies or Dreams I neither Lie nor Dream reply'd Sancho Uds Precious I can tell you the Marks and Colour of every Goat among 'em if you don't believe me Do but ask and try me You 'll easily see whether I speak Truth or no. Well said the Dutchess prithee tell us good Sancho Look you answer'd Sancho there were two of 'em Green two Carnation two Blue and one party-colour'd Truly said the Duke that 's a new kind of Goats you have found out Sancho we have none of those Colours upon Earth Sure Sir reply'd Sancho you 'll make some short difference between Heavenly She-Goats and the Goats of this World But Sancho said the Duke among those She-Goats did you see never a He Not one Horn'd Beast of the Masculine Gender Not one Sir I saw no other Horn'd thing but the Moon and I have been told that neither He-Goats nor any other Cornuted Tups are suffer'd to lift their Horns beyond those of the Moon They did not think fit to ask Sancho any more Questions about his Airy Voyage for in the Humour he was in they judg'd he would not stick to ramble all over the Heavens and tell 'em News of whatever was doing there though he had not stirr'd out of the Garden all the while Thus ended in short the Adventure of the Disconsolate Matron which afforded sufficient Sport to the Duke and Dutchess not only for the present but for the rest of their Lives and might have supply'd Sancho with matter of Talk from Generation to Generation for many Ages could he have liv'd so long Sancho said Don Quixote whispering him in the Ear since you 'll have us believe what you have seen in Heaven I desire you to believe me in what I said I saw in Montesino's Cave Not a Word more CHAP. XLII The Instructions which Don Quixote gave Sancho Pança before he went to the Government of his Island with other Matters of Moment THE Satisfaction which the Duke and Dutchess receiv'd by the happy Success of the Adventure of the Disconsolate Matron encourag'd 'em to carry on some other Pleasant Project since they could with so much Ease Impose on the Credulity of Don Quixote and his Squire Having therefore given Instructions to their Servants and Vassals how to behave themselves towards Sancho in his Government the Day after the Scene of the Wooden Horse the Duke bid Sancho prepare and be in a readiness to take Possession of his Government for now his Islanders wish'd as heartily for him as they did for Rain in a dry Summer Sancho made an humble Bow and looking demurely on the Duke Sir quoth he since I came down from Heaven whence I saw the Earth so very small I a'n't half so hot as I was for being a Governour For what Greatness can there be in being at the Head of a puny Dominion that 's but a little Nook of a tiny Mustard-seed And what Dignity and Power can a Man be reckon'd to have in governing half a dozen Men no bigger than Hazle-Nuts For I cou'd not
Vertue the Medium of all thy Actions and thou wilt have no Cause to envy those whose Birth gives 'em the Titles of Great Men and Princes for Nobility is inherited but Vertue acquir'd And Vertue is worth more in it self than Nobleness of Birth If any of thy poor Relations come to see thee never reject nor affront 'em but on the contrary receive and entertain 'em with marks of Favour in this thou wilt display a Generosity of Nature and please Heaven that would have no body despise what it has made If thou send'st for thy Wife as 't is not sit a Man in thy Station should be long without his Wife and she ought to partake of her Husband 's good Fortune teach her instruct her polish her the best thou can'st till her Native Rusticity is refin'd to a handsomer Behaviour For often an ill-bred Wife throws down all that a good and discreet Husband can build up Shoud'st thou come to be a Widower which is not impossible and thy Post recommend thee to a Bride of a higher degree take not one that shall like a Fishing-Rod only serve to catch Bribes For take it from me the Judge must at the general and last Court of Judicature give a strict account of the discharge of his Duty and must pay severely at his dying Day for what he has suffer'd his Wife to take Let never obstinate Self-conceit be thy Guide 't is the Vice of the Ignorant who vainly presume on their Understanding Let the Tears of the Poor find more Compassion though not more Justice than the Informations of the Rich. Be equally sollicitous to find out the Truth where the Offers and Presents of the Rich and the Sobs and Importunities of the Poor are in the Way Where-ever Equity should or may take Place let not the Extent and Rigour of the Law bear too much on the Delinquent for 't is not a better Character in a Judge to be Rigorous than to be Indulgent When the Severity of the Law is to be softned let Pity not Bribes be the Motive If thy Enemy has a Cause before thee turn away thy Eyes from thy Prejudice and fix them on the matter of Fact In another Man's Cause be not blinded by thy own Passions for those Errors are almost without Remedy or their Cure will prove Expensive to thy Wealth and Reputation When a Beautiful Woman comes before thee turn away thy Eyes from her Tears and thy Ears from her Lamentations and take time to consider sedately her Petition if thou would'st not have thy Reason and Honesty lost in her Sighs and Tears Revile not with Words those whom their Crimes oblige thee to Punish in Deed for the Punishment is enough to the Wretches without the Addition of Ill Language In the Tryal of Criminals consider as much as thou can'st without Prejudice to the Plaintiff how defenceless and open the Miserable are to the Temptations of our corrupt and deprav'd Nature and so far shew thy self full of Pity and Clemency for tho' God's Attributes are equal yet his Mercy is more attractive and pleasing in our Eyes than his Justice If thou observ'st these Rules Sancho thy Days shall be long thy Fame eternal thy Recompence full and thy Felicity unspeakable Thou shalt marry thy Children and Grand-Children to thy Heart's Desire they shall want no Titles Belov'd of all Men thy Life shall be peaceable thy Death in a good and venerable old Age and the Off spring of thy Grand-Children with their soft Youthful Hands shall close thy Eyes The Precepts I have hitherto given thee regard the good and ornament of thy Mind Now give Attention to those Directions that relate to the adorning of thy Body CHAP. XLIII The second Part of Don Quixote's Advice to Sancho Pança WHO would not have taken Don Quixote for a Man of extraordinary Wisdom and as excellent Morals having heard him documentize his Squire in this manner only as we have often observ'd in this History the least talk of Knight-Errantry spoil'd all and made his Understanding Muddy But in every thing else his Judgment was very clear and his Apprehension very nice so that every moment his Actions us'd to discredit his Judgment and his Judgment his Actions But in these Oeconomical Precepts which he gave Sancho he shew'd himself Master of a pleasant Fancy and mingl'd his Judgment and Extravagance in equal proportions Sancho lent him a great deal of Attention in hopes to Register all those good Counsels in his Mind and put them in practice not doubting but by their means he should acquit himself of his Duty like a Man of Honour As to the Government of thy Person and Family pursu'd Don Quixote my first Injunction is Cleanliness Pare thy Nails nor let 'em grow as some do whose Folly perswades them that long Nails add to the beauty of the Hand till they look more like Castril's Claws than a Man's Nails 'T is foul and unsightly Keep thy Cloaths tight about thee for a slovenly Looseness is an Argument of a careless Mind unless such a Negligence like that of Julius Caesar be affected for some cunning Design Prudently examine what thy Income may amount to in a Year And if sufficient to afford thy Servants Liveries let 'em be decent and lasting rather than gaudy and for Show and for the over-plus of thy good Husbandry bestow it on the Poor That is if thou canst keep six Footmen have but three and let what would maintain three more be laid out in Charitable Uses By that Means thou wilt have Attendants in Heaven as well as on Earth which our vain-glorious great ones who are Strangers to this Practice are not like to have Lest thy Breath betray thy Peasantry defile it not with Onions and Garlick Walk with Gravity and speak with Deliberation and yet not as if thou didst hearken to thy own Words for all Affectation is a Fault Eat little at Dinner and less at Supper for the Stomach is the Store-house whence Health is to be imparted to the whole Body Drink moderately for Drunkenness neither keeps a Secret nor observes a Promise Be careful not to chew on both sides that is fill not thy Mouth too full and take heed not to eruct before Company Eruct quoth Sancho I don't understand that cramp Word To eruct answer'd Don Quixote is as much as to say to Belch but this being one of the most disagreeable and beastly Words in our Language though very expressive and significant the more Polite instead of Belching say Eructing which is borrow'd from the Latin Now though the Vulgar may not understand this it matters not much for Use and Custom will make it familiar and understood By such Innovations are Languages enrich'd when the Words are adopted by the Multitude and Naturaliz'd by Custom Faith and Troth quoth Sancho of all your Counsels I 'll be sure not to forget this for I 've been mightily given to Belching Say Eructing reply'd Don Quixote and leave off
Figures that happen'd to be St. George a Horseback and under his Feet a Serpent coil'd up his Throat transfix'd with a Lance with the Fierceness that is commonly represented in the Piece and all as they use to say spick and span new and shining like beaten Gold Don Quixote having seen the Image This said he was one of the best Knight-Errants the Divine Warfare or Church-Militant ever had His Name was Don St. George and he was an extraordinary Protector of Damsels What 's the next The Fellow having uncover'd it it prov'd to be St. Martin on Horse-back This Knight too said Don Quixote at the first sight was one of the Christian Adventurers and I am apt to think he was more liberal than valiant and thou may'st perceive it Sancho by his dividing his Cloak with a poor Man he gave him half and doubtless 't was Winter-time or else he would have giv'n it him whole he was so charitable Not so neither I fancy quoth Sancho but I guess he stuck to the Proverb He that lends his Breech must you understand me Don Quixote smil'd and desiâ—'d the Men to shew him the next Image which appear'd to be that of the Patron of Spain a Horse-back with his Sword bloody trampling down Moors and treading over Heads Ay this is a Knight indeed cry'd Don Quixote when he saw it one of those that fought in the Squadrons of the Saviour of the World He is call'd Don San Jago Mata-Moros or Don St. James the Destroyer of the Moors and may be thought one of the most valorous Saints and Professors of Chivalry that the Earth formerly enjoy'd and Heaven now possesses Then they uncover'd another Piece which shew'd St. Paul falling from his Horse with all the Circumstances usually express'd in the Story of his Conversion and represented so to the Life that he look'd as if he had been answering the Voice that spoke to him from Heaven This said Don Quixote was the greatest Enemy the Church Militant had once and prov'd afterwards the greatest Defender it will ever have In his Life a true Knight-Errant and in his Death a steadfast Saint an indefatigable Labourer in the Vineyard of the Lord a Teacher of the Gentiles who had Heaven for his School and the Lord of Wisdom for his Master and Instructer Don Quixote perceiving there were no more Images desir'd the Men to cover those he had seen And then my good Friends said he to 'em I cannot but esteem the Sight that I have had of these Images as a happy Omen for these Saints and Knights were of the same Profession that I follow which is that of Arms The Difference only lies in this Point that they were Saints and fought according to the Rules of holy Discipline and I am a Sinner and fight after the Manner of Men. They conquer'd Heaven by Force for Heaven is taken by Violence but I alas cannot yet tell what I gain by the Force of my Labours Yet were my Dulcinea del Toboso but free from her Troubles by a happy Change in my Fortune and an Improvement in my Understanding I might perhaps take a better Course than I do Heaven grant it quoth Sancho and let the Devil do his worst All this while the Men wonder'd at Don Quixote's Discourse as well as his Figure for they could not understand one Half of what he meant So that after they had made an End of their Dinner they got up their Images took their Leaves of Don Quixote and continu'd their Journey Sancho remain'd full of Admiration as if he had never known his Master he wonder'd how he should come to know all these Things and fancy'd there was not that History or Adventure in the World but he had it at his Finger's Ends. Faith and Troth Master of mine quoth he if what has happen'd to us to Day may be call'd an Adventure it is one of the sweetest and most pleasant we ever met with in all our Rambles for we are come off without a dry-hasting or the least bodily Fear We have not so much as laid our Hands upon our Weapons nor have we beaten the Earth with our Carcasses but here we be safe and sound neither-a-dry nor a-hungry Heaven be prais'd that I have seen all this with my own Eyes Thou say'st well Sancho said Don Quixote but I must tell thee that Seasons and Times are not always the same but often take a different Course and what the Vulgar call Forebodings and Omens for which there are no rational Grounds in Nature ought only to be esteem'd happy Encounters by the Wise One of these superstitious Fools going out of his House betimes in the Morning meets a Frier of the Blessed Order of St. Francis and starts as if he had met a Griffin turns back and runs home again Another Wise-acre happens to throw down the Salt on the Table-cloath and thereupon is sadly cast down himself as if Nature were oblig'd to give Tokens of ensuing Disasters by such slight and inconsiderable Accidents as these A wise and truly Religious Man ought never to pry into the Secrets of Heaven Scipio landing in Africa stumbl'd and fell down as he leap'd a-shore Presently his Soldiers took this for an ill Omen but he embracing the Earth cry'd I have thee fast Africa thou shalt not scape me In this manner Sancho I think it a very happy Accident that I met these Images I think so too quoth Sancho but I would fain know why the Spaniards call upon that same St. James the Destroyer of Moors just when they are going to give Battel they cry Saint Jago and close Spain Pray is Spain open that it wants to be clos'd up What do you make of that Ceremony Thou art a very simple Fellow Sancho answer'd Don Quixote Thou must know that Heaven gave to Spain this mighty Champion of the Red-Cross for its Patron and Protector especially in the desperate Engagements which the Spaniards had with the Moors and therefore they invoke him in all their martial Encounters as their Protector and many times he has been personally seen cutting and slaying overthrowing trampling and destroying the Saracen Squadrons of which I could give thee many Examples deduc'd from authentick Spanish Histories Here Sancho changing the Discourse Sir quoth he I can't but marvel at the Impudence of Altisidora the Dutchess's Damsel I warrant you that same Mischief-monger they call Love has plaguily mawl'd her and run her through without Mercy They say he 's a little blind Urchin and yet the dark Youth with no more Eye-sight than a Beetle will hit you a Heart as sure as a Gun and bore it through and through with his Dart if he undertakes to shoot at it However I have heard say that the Shafts of Love are blunted and beaten back by the modest and sober Carriage of young Maidens But upon this Altisidora their Edge seems rather to be whetted than made blunt You must observe Sancho said Don Quixote that Love
is void of Consideration and disclaims the Rules of Reason in his Proceedings He is like Death and equally affects the lofty Palaces of Kings and the lowly Cottages of Shepherds Where-ever he takes entire Possession of a Soul the first Thing he does is to dismiss all Bashfulness and Shame So these being banish'd from Altisidora's Breast she confidently discover'd her loose Desires which alas rather fill'd me with Confusion than Pity Well go to quoth Sancho you are confoundedly cruel how could you be so hard-hearted and ungrateful had the poor Thing but made Love to me I dare say I should have come to at the first Word and have been at her Service Beshrew my Midriff what a Heart of Marble Bowels of Brass and Soul of Plaister you have But I can't for the Blood of me imagine what the poor Creature saw in your Worship to make her doat on you and play the Fool at this Rate Where the Devil was the sparkling Appearance the Briskness the fine Carriage the sweet Face that betwich'd her Indeed and indeed I often survey your Worship from the Tip of your Toe to the topmost hair on your Crown and not to flatter you I can see nothing in you but what 's more likely to scare one than to make one fall in Love I 've heard that Beauty is the first and chief Thing that begets Love now you not having any an 't like your Worship I can't guess what the poor Soul was smitten with Take notice Sancho answer'd Don Quixote that there are two Sorts of Beauty the one of the Soul and the other of the Body That of the Soul lies and displays it self in the Understanding in Principles of Honour and Vertue in a handsome Behaviour in Generosity and good Breeding all which Qualities may be found in a Person not so accomplish'd in outward Features And when this Beauty and not that of the Body is the Object of Love then the Assaults of that Passion are much more fierce more surprizing and effectual Now Sancho though I am sensible I am not handsome I know at the same time I 'm not deform'd and provided an honest Man be possess'd of the Endowments of the Mind which I have mention'd and nothing appears monstrous in him 't is enough to entitle him to the Love of a reasonable Creature Thus discoursing they got into a Wood quite out of the Road and on a sudden Don Quixote before he knew where he was found himself entangl'd in some Nets of green Thread that were spread across among the Trees Not being able to imagine what it was certainly Sancho cry'd he this Adventure of the Nets must be one of the most unaccountable that can be imagin'd Let me die now if this be not a Stratagem of the evil-minded Necromancers that haunt me to entangle me so that I may not proceed as it were to revenge my Contempt of Altisidora's Addresses But let 'em know that tho' these Nets were Adamantine Chains as they are only made of green Thread and though they were stronger than those in which the jealous God of Blacksmiths caught Venus and Mars I would break them with as much Ease as if they were weak Rushes or fine Cotton-Yarn With that the Knight put briskly forwards resolv'd to break through and make his Words good but in the very Moment there sprung from behind the Trees two most beautiful Shepherdesses at least they appear'd to be so by their Habits only with this Difference that they were richly dress'd in Gold Brocade Their flowing Hair hung down about their Shoulders in Curls as charming as the Sun 's Golden Rays and circl'd on their Brows with Garlands of green Bays and Red-flower-gentle interwoven As for their Age it seem'd not less than fifteen nor more than eighteen Years This unexpected Vision dazzl'd and amaz'd Sancho surpriz'd Don Quixote made even the gazing Sun stop short in his Career and held the surpriz'd Parties a while in the same Suspence and Silence 'till at last one of the Shepherdesses opening her Coral-Lips hold Sir she cry'd pray do not tear those Nets which we have spread here not to offend you but to divert our selves and because 't is likely you 'll enquire why they are spread here and who we are I shall tell you in few Words About two Leagues from this Place lies a Village where there are many People of Quality and good Estates among these several have made up a Company all of Friends Neighbours and Relations to come and take their Diversion in this Place which is one of the most delightful in these Parts To this purpose we design to set up a new Arcadia The young Men have put on the Habit of Shepherds and Ladies the Dress of Shepherdesses We have got two Eclogues by Heart one out of the famous Garcilasso and the other out of Camoen's that most excellent Portugueze Poet tho' the Truth is we have not yet repeated them for Yesterday was but the first Day of our coming hither We have pitch'd some Tents among the Trees near the Banks of a large Brook that waters all these Meadows And last Night we spread these Nets to catch such simple Birds as our Calls shou'd allure into the Snare Now Sir if you please to afford us your Company you shall be made very welcome and handsomely entertain'd for we are all dispos'd to pass the Time agreeably and for a while banish Melancholy from this Place Truly fair Lady answer'd Don Quixote Actaeon cou'd not be more lost in Admiration and Amazement at the Sight of Diana Bathing her self than I was at the Appearance of your Beauty I applaud the Design of your Entertainment and return you Thanks for your obliging Offers assuring you that if it lies in my Power to serve you you may depend on my Obedience to your Commands For my Profession is the very Reverse of Ingratitude and aims at doing Good to all Persons especially those of your Merit and Condition so that were these Nets spread over the Surface of the whole Earth I would seek out a Passage thro' new Worlds rather than I wou'd break the smallest Thread that conduces to your Pastime And that you may give some Credit to this seeming Exaggeration know that he who makes this Promise is no less than Don Quixote de la Mancha if ever such a Name has reach'd your Ears Oh my Dear cry'd the other Shepherdess what good Fortune this is You see this Gentleman before us I must tell you he is the most valiant the most amorous and the most complaisant Person in the World if the History of his Exploits already in Print does not deceive us I have read it my Dear and I hold a Wager that honest Fellow there by him is one Sancho Pança his Squire the most comical Creature that ever was You have nick'd it quoth Sancho I am that comical Creature and that very Squire you wot of and there 's my Lord and Master the self-same