thy Soul that God censure thee not for it but convince thee and convert thee even as if thou wert a part of my very self and as if my well being did consist in thy well being for be thou what ever thou art though I hate thy sin and be offended at it yet I truly and in all faithfulness love thy self and thy Soul and would with my heart that it go so well with thee as it doth through the free Grace Love and Mercy of God in Jesus Christ with me And I shall continue to contend with God in the behalf of thy Soul ann the pardon of thy sins as for my own I know what it is to be a great sinner and I also know through the infinite and incomprehensible Love of God what it is to be washed cleansed pardoned justified sanctified and saved from all sin and to be in Christ without spot or wrinckle undefiled And therefore I cannot in humility I speak it but as God love all Souls with true and unfeigned Love heartily praying and desiring that none might perish but that all might come to partake of everlasting life to enjoy for ever those heart and Soul ravishing joyes that God hath prepared and laid up for all those that truly love him I intend not to speak anything touching the method nor to crave the excuse of any for any thing that may not savour with them I know from whom I have received it and he I am sure will patronize and protect it and blesse it in some measure I hope unto all that shall read it but whatever successe it find I shall find I am sure all that I seek for which is peace within during this life and honour glory and immortality in the World to come which good Lord grant for Christ his sake unto all those that love thee and wait for thine appearing And thus dear hearts I leave you to the guidance of the good Spirit of the Lord to direct you in all your thoughts and words that they and all your actions as well as mine may be now and alwaies acceptable in his sight who is our strength and our Redeemer to him who is able to keep you from the hour of temptation and to preserve you blamelesse until the hour of his coming I commit and commend you Remaining In London Anno 1654. IN the Name of the most Holy Glorious and Blessed Trinity God the Father God the Son and God the Holy Ghost one God blessed for ever to whom be given and ascribed as all due is and to none else Honour Glory Power Might Majesty Dominion and Thanksgiving by me and by the whole world of his Elect Now and for ever more Amen Amen So be it Lord so be it THomas Arundell the poorest vilest basest and most unworthiest of all the servants of the living God altogether unworthy of that most Worthy Glorious and Right Honourable Title but trusting on his mercy and Free Grace to be made worthy through the merits and worthiness of Jesus Christ and in him to be accounted worthy Doth in all humility of heart most humbly beg and implore his Divine Majesty in Jesus Christ to inspire bless and assist him with his holy Spirit that he may here following set down only the sincere breathings and longings of his soul in truth and sincerity of heart and that he may grow daily from one degree of grace unto another from step to step untill he come to that height and fulness of measure of holiness appointed by God in Jesus Christ who is the fountain the Ocean and the fulness of all happiness and blessedness being God equal with the Father Blessed for ever and ever A Prayer O Most Holy most Glorious Eternal Incomprehensible Lord God full of Grace and Truth Maker and Giver of all things both in heaven and in earth from all eternity unto all eternity thou art and there is none besides thee God blessed for ever and ever Thou givest O Lord freely fully and continually and art never weary nor repentest all our springs are in thee and from thee thou canst not increase nor diminish whatever is done for or against thee Ah Lord my God give me so much of thy self as I may be like unto thee in all things by grace here and in glory hereafter that I may stedfastly faithfully heedfully carefully and circumspectly do thy whole and holy will on earth untill I come to glorifie thy Name in heaven O Lord conform my will unto thy most holy and most blessed will that I may serve and please thee by all my thoughts words and actions not turning a side to the right hand of pleasures or to the left hand of profits Let thy most holy and most blessed Spirit teach me lead me guide me and so direct and govern me that the thoughts of my heart the words of my mouth and the works of my hands may be now and alwaies acceptable in thy sight O Lord my strength and my Redeemer O Lord that searchest all hearts and triest the reins pondering all our actions be pleased in Jesus Christ to look down upon me poor vile sinfull dust and ashes the greatest of sinners and the very worst of the worst of men and for his sake wash away all my iniquities and purge me from all my sins and my transgressions known or unknown secret or revealed past present and to come and for the merits of that most dear and pretious blood of thy dear and only Son which was I believe shed for me on the Cross. O Lord grant that I may appear blamelesse and spotlesse before thy throne of Grace and Justice at all times when I come before thee that thou maiest have delight in me and in all the works of my hands and maiest according to thy good promise graciously hear and answer my petitions and requests which I most humbly and unfeignedly desire may be framed in my heart by thy holy Spirit that they may be according to thy holy mind and will and finde acceptation through the mediation and merits of thy dear only and beloved Son Jesus Christ the Righteous And grant O most mercifull and loving Father in Jesus Christ my Redeemer that I may set down from time to time the only Dictates of thy holy and most blessed Spirit unto my poor soul not any head notions but my very hearts frame and only desires and motions that they may both then and ever after refresh rejoyce glad and comfort me and cause me to bring forth fruit to newness and amendment of life for the honour and glory of thy great Name and grant that I may ever renounce all merit or worthiness in my self for the very least of all thy mercies no not for the crumbs that fall by thy providence from the childrens table Sure I am the more light I have from thee O Lord my God I shall the better and clearer see my own darknesse the more I have of thy wisdom the better I
shall see the foolishnesse of all worldly wisdom and the errours of my own waies the more I have of thee the less I shall have of my self the more thou shalt be pleased to give me the less I shall confess I deserve and the more thou shalt be pleased to lift me up the lower I will cast my self down Ah Lord God teach me to know my self that I may hate my self teach me to know thee rightly not in the history only but in the mystery also not only without but also within that I may love thee in fear and fear thee with true unfaigned sincere spotlesse love wean me O Lord from the world and the worlds loves let me die to the world and to all things in it that I may live to thee Ah take me from the world ere thou takest the world from me fit me for thy self ere thou takest me to thy self let my last daies be my best daies and my last thoughts my best thoughts let me not live one moment longer then to do thee service and let that only be my aim and my end let thy work be my wages and thy wages my work O Lord God in Jesus Christ I most humbly beseech thee to perfect and accomplish that good work which thou hast begun in me for all my hope trust and confidence is in thee that thou wilt never leave me nor forsake me Ah Lord do not leave me to my self at any time for I shall undo in one moment all thy doings so great is my skill power strength mind and will to all evil against all good But O my God do thou continue to restrain my will and constrain it to thy will and to the faithfull and entire obedience of all thy Laws and Divine Commandments Write thy Laws of grace in my heart and thy Statutes in my minde by the finger of thy holy Spirit and suffer me never through any temptation to depart from them but let them be a lanthorn to my feet and a light unto my paths to lead guide direct and govern me in the waies of righteousness and holiness that I may live the life of the righteous in the midst of this crooked froward and perverse generation Ah Lord suffer not the mountains of my sins nor the Rocks of unbelief to hinder thy mercies from descending into my heart by thy holy Spirit nor my prayers from ascending up unto thee by faith Let thy mercies draw me and thy judgements drive me that I may run and not grow weary that I may walk and not faint Be O Lord my God I most humbly beseech thee in Jesus Christ a savour of life unto life to my soul and of death unto death to my sins and let thy holy and most blessed Spirit of grace that knoweth thy whole holy and sacred mind and will lead me teach me direct me and instruct me in all the things I shall take in hand to do and give me O Lord I beseech thee those things and those things only that may draw me nearer and nearer unto thy self to make me thine and only thine that I may be wholly thine holy thine alwaies thine and ever thine that living here in thy fear I may die in thy favour and after death be neade partaker of Eternal life through Jesus Christ my blessed and alone Saviour and Redeemer for whom I desire ever to blesse thee as the Lord my Righteousnesse and to whom with thy glorious holy and sacred Majesty thy eternal and blessed Spirit of grace be given and ascribed by me and all thine as all due is Honour Glory Power Might Majesty Dominion and Thanksgiving Now and for ever more Amen HEre followes my spiritual soul-Solaces Dictates or Gleanings of Gods Spirit set down in order and from time to time as it shall please the Lord in his goodnesse love and mercy to frame and fit my heart unto With a Journal of several passages as shall hereafter befall me by Providence whereby I may as in a Heavenly looking-glasse see know taste feel and be certainly assured of Gods loving and mercifull dealing towards me and of my daily approach and bringing near and nearer unto my long wished and desired home of heaven through and by the merits of my dear Saviour and Redeemer Jesus Christ there to sing for ever and ever Hallelujahs of Praise Glory and Thanksgiving unto his most Holy Blessed Eternal and Glorious Name Let O Lord the Meditations of my heart the Words of my mouth and the Works of my hands be ever acceptable in thy sight who art my strength and my Redeemer Spiritual Meditations Being the Gifts and Dictates of GODS SPIRIT Or The hearts Frame and Language that desires to be made Spiritual and to live spiritually 1. O God my God who art all things and givest all things freely willingly abundantly and continually therefore of thee in Jesus Christ do I humbly ask all things 2. Give me thy self O God and I will confess that I have all those things I ask 3. For unless thou givest me thy self I esteem that I have nothing though thou keepest nothing else from me 4. I know that there is no perfect perfection here and therefore we cannot live without sinne but O most gracious and most mercifull Father lay them not to my charge but bury them all past present and to come in the grave of my blessed Saviour and Redeemer Jesus Christ. 5. I will ever seek thee O God whom my soul loveth desire thee only and lay hold and depend on thee alone 6. Let O God the things of the world be unto me as I was unto thee whilst I was in the world out of thee even as a menstrous cloth and filthy rags 7. Thy mercies O God are the hid Treasures which my heart seeketh and longeth to enjoy 8. Thy love O Christ is much sweeter to my taste than the honey-comb and I desire it much more then gold yea above all the worlds treasure good and glory 9. I am sure I shall be able to rejoyce in and under any yea all afflictions if thou dost not afflict me O my God and my Father in Jesus Christ with thy absence 10. He is in heaven though on earth that doth truly love thee and only love thee and heaven is in him because thy love is in him because thou lovest him thy love O God being the heaven of heaven in heaven the best of heaven 11. Do unto me O God what thou wilt and do but only tell me that thou wilt it 12. Were I in hell for thy sake that is absent from thee I could and would rejoyce for it is my Heaven to please thee my God who hast and dost so much delight me 13. Let me be but esteemed in thy eies Oh my Jesus my sweet my dear and pretious dear delight and I shall not vallue but contemne all the ill looks of all others eies 14. I had much rather be a Paul a Job or a Lazarus then a Solomon
of grace my sole comforter and only comfort 74. Grant that I may will nothing but thy will O thou my Father in Iesus Christ which art in Heaven 75. I had rather have thy smiles in Hell O my sweet and dear Iesus if it could be then thy frowns in Heaven 76. I had much rather if it could be be in Hell and obey God then in Heaven and sin against him 77. O God give me I most humbly beseech thee for Jesus Christ his sake those things and those things only both for soul and body on earth as may prepare me and make me fittest for Heaven 78. I had much rather choose death then choose to sin 79. Though I cannot live without sin here yet whilst I live here suffer me not O God at any time to consent unto sin 80. I do beleive that Christ Jesus is my Jesus and my Christ and that he makes intercession for me every moment and ever will even to my very last moment 81. I had much rather enjoy affliction with enjoying thee O my Saviour then all manner of prosperity if thou do'st not prosper it 82. As long O God as thou givest me bread water and grace I will acknowledge that I have sufficient meat drink and rayment yea that I fare delitiously and am arrayed more gloriously then if I were with purple scarlet and fine linnen 83. To do thy work O God is the wages I desire and which will and shall ever content me 84. Ah Lord I praise thee for that thou hast given me a heart to be willing to part from all things most willingly so I might part from all sin also 85. Dispose of all things as thou wilt O God do but only leave me thy self in possession 86. All good thoughts come in love O God from thee to me but woe me miserable me for that all evil thoughts come from my self in hatred to thee 87. Good Lord make my heart and all my thoughts such that I may be only such and alwayes such as thou would'st have me to be 88. Do thou O Christ live and raigne by thy power and might in me that the mighty power and raigne of sin may be cast out of me 89. Let not the things of the world put thee O Lord out of my mind not sin out of my heart to abhor it 90. Give me O Lord grace and power to Conquer and cast out all worldly lusts and affections out of my heart that there be a place for thee and thee only to dwell in my sweet Jesus 91. Grant O Lord that I may esteem the worlds gifts without thee my Saviour as the Devils gifts that will destroy me 92. Grant O Lord that I may ever beleive and esteem my best duties and performances as from my self to deserve nothing but shame confusion being but as filthy rags and a menstrous cloath and that I am less and less worth at the best then the least of all thy mercies 93. Nothing but thy blood O Lord can wash me nothing but thy death could satisfie for me nothing but thy resurrection can raise me and nothing but thy living can make me live 94. Let thy blessed Ordinances O Lord be more delightfull to me then my meat and drink and sweeter to my tast then the hony and the hony comb let them much more please me then the pleasures of Egypt which are but for a season 95. I had much rather have nothing of the world and hate it then all the world and love it 96. I had rather be the poorest in the world then the richest as for my own good and profit alone 97. I am more affraid of honour then of dishonour of riches then of poverty of high degree then of low degree of applause then of contempt or scorn of health then of sickness and of my life then of my death yet I know that God is all and in all these therefore I will feare neither for I know that that which he giveth is the best and I shall profit best by it 98. Ah that I had so much grace as to be alwayes able to meditate on the love and sweetness that is in my Saviour I would not leave that blessed condition of Communion with him one houre to gaine all that the world hath to give 99. Surely if I could alwaies think on my Saviour I would willingly alwayes think on him I would not only have him in all my thoughts but I would have him be all my thoughts 100. One moments Communion with the Spirit of grace were to be prefer'd incomparably above all the pleasures and sweets of sin though their end were not bitter but sweet 101. I would willingly loose all that I have of the world if so be I could loose the thoughts of it likewise 102. I would much rather have not any thing of the world and be not of the world then have all it hath and be of it 103. I cannot be poorer then to have the world and love it nor richer then to be without the world and hate it 104. Though I cannot remember what I should yet I remember well I never did nor I do not do what I would 105. I had rather say nothing then my own words when I speak by prayer or any other way unto God 106. Oh blessed Spirit Sanctifie my thoughts and my words when I take upon me to speak unto God or of God 107. Oh sweet Jesus present I most humbly beseech thee my prayers and my self unto thy Father that he may receive and accept of both through thy merits and mediation 108. O God my God give me grace so to live as I may be alwayes ready willing and rejoyce to dye let thy time be my time whether it be sleeping or waking on thy day or on ours whil'st I am doing thy work or mine owne thy time and thy will be done O Lord not mine 109. O Lord let me never leave sighing for sin till I leave sinning 110. Let sin O Lord be much more bitterer unto me after repentance then it was sweet before repentance 111. Let me O Lord esteem any death much sweeter then the bitter life of any sin though it live but a moment in me 112. Give me O Lord any affliction unless that which I cannot beare sin 113. Let me live so long here O Lord till I am utterly dead to all sin and sin dead to me and then Lord take me to thy self when thou wilt that I may live for ever to thee and with thee 114. O Lord though thou give me poverty and Contempt with the grace of content I shall be as rich and as honourable as I desire 115. Take my thoughts O Lord from the world and then take the world from me as soon as thou wilt 116. Give me O Lord so much grace to love thee that it may extinguish all other loves that are in me 117. Make me O Lord thy Servant and let me know it and I will
by â—hy power I may have power to do and walk uprightly before thee in all thy paths and that I may never more swerve nor turn aside out of the way of thy Commandements either to the right hand of pleasures or to the left hand of profits Give me grace O Lord God I most humbly beseech thee in Jesus Christ to see mine own badness and thy goodness ready and willing to make me good that I may see mine own emptinesâ— and thy fulness reâ—dy to fill me mine own nakedness and thy robes to cover and to cloath me mine own sinfulness and thy righteousness to make me righteous mine own cursedness and thy blessedness to make me blessed my own deformity and ugliness and thy beautifulness to make me beautiful my own slavery and thy freedome and â—râ—eness to make me free mine own unworthyness and thy worthyness to make me worthy mine own insufficiency and thine al-sufficiency mine own demerit and thy merit mine own disobedience and thine obedience mine own nothingness yea altogether nothing and thine Almigtiness yea altogether all things for in thee are all things from thee come all things and by thee O God all things are and were Created I do most unfeignedly confess O Lord that I am unable and unfit to speak unto thee and as unworthy to hear thee speak unto me for in me that is in my flesh there is no good I am all evil only evil and continually evil but in thee O God dwelleth all good for thou art all good only good and continually dost good without thee I can say nothing think nothing nor do nothing that is good suffer me not therefore O Lord I beseech thee to speak in my own wisdome for that would be but the wisdome of words but let me O Lord speak in thy wisdome which will be the words of wisdome and Wisdoms words Let me not O Lord go forth in my own strength against any Temptation for I am so weak I should be overcome and fall into any Temptation but let thy strength thy power thy might and thy love O Lord be seen in my weakness to strengthen me and by thy power powerfully working in me I may overcome and trample under my feet all the strength and power of all my adversaries and enemies Devils lusts worlds lusts and self lusts Ah Lord God suffer me not to goe from thee for thou hast the words of Eternal life thou art the word and the life yea Eternal life he that hath thee hath life and shall not see death nor tast of death because he is past from death to life but he that hath not thee O Lord Christ is dead already because he liveth in sin for he that liveth in sin is dead though he liveth Ah Lord I confess that the Well of thy mercy is much deeper then Jacobs Well and yet sure I am that such Children yea such Infants as I am can draw water from thence even the water of life even such water as giveth another life a better life which is an immortal and eternal life a life that shall never see death being hid with Christ in God Ah sweet Jesus let me have thee in my heart which is much better then to have thee as Simeon had in his armes my armes might let thee fall out of them but my heart cannot I had rather yea much rather see thee with the eyes of true saving faith then of sence or with the eyes of the flesh for thine Enemyes O Lord saw thee with fleshly eyes and yet hated thee spit on thee reviled and mocked thee whipped thee persecuted thee and crucified thee bearing false witness against thee and believed not in thee notwithstanding all the miracles that thou did'st but all those that see thee O Lord by the eyes of faith will believe in thee and say of thee unto thee as Thomas did my Lord and my God they will so love thee as they will Crucific themselves and their bosome sins hate themselves and their own wayes persecute themselves and Crucifie all their own sinful fleshly worldly devilish lusts and affections and live as new Creatures in the world as if they were not of the world using the world as if they used it not Ah happy yea thrice happy are they that are in such a case for they have the Lord for their God Ah poor lost I poor forgotten I poor forsaken I poor undone I poor miserable I poor nothing despicable poor I untill thou O my sweet Jesus did'st come to my help to my succour to find me to save me to comfort me to inrich me to deliver me to set me free and bring me out of the chains of sin Hell and death by which I was held and led Captive and did'st most gratiously bring me into thy self and gavest me thy self and loved'st me as thy self doing for me O God what thou could'st do making me like thy self Ah Lord God thou knowest all things I well know thou knowest my heart and what more can my heart say unto thee thou only O Lord art the searcher the tryer and the knower of all hearts thou knowest O Lord I know well that thou knowest how much my heart rejoyceth because thou knowest it O Lord I most humbly beg and beseech thee in Jesus Christ to search and try me even all the Corners and Crannys of my heart and what evil is still in me O Lord I humbly intreat thee to destroy with an utterr and totall destruction that it may be said of it it is not Let sin O Lord as the house of Saul grow every day weaker and weaker and grace as the house of David every day stronger and stronger O Lord perfect that good work of grace which thou hast in the abundance of thy love begun in me untill thou hast in love made it and brought me into perfect glory and all this I beg of thee O Father in Jesus Christ what else thon knowest to be needfull or expedient for me both for soul and body in life in death and after death for Christ I shall ever bless thee and to him with thy glorious Majesty and holy spirit of grace the comforter and sanctifier do I render from the bottome of my heart unfaignedly as all due is and unto none else honour glory power might Majesty dominion and thanksgiving now henceforth and for evermore Amen 1. If our comfort and joy be so great to enjoy the Company of one imperfect Saint on earth Ah how great shall our joy and comfort be to enjoy for ever that innumerable Company of perfected Saints in Heaven but how much more and more great shall our joy be and to our eternal comfort to enjoy God the Father Son and Holy Ghost that made them thus perfect and Saints 2. If we rejoyce so much here on earth to see one or some few friends in the flesh that we think loves God Ah how shall we rejoyce when in Heaven to see so many
beloved son Absolom though he loved him better than his life and willingly would have died for him yet when he forgave him his murder he would not have him to see his face in Jerusalem But thy pardon O King of Kings is with such abundance of love that thou hast been pleased in love to come down thy self from thy Throne and thy dwelling place in thy heavenly Jerusalem unto me on this earthly Geshur to shew me thy most amiable most glorious and most blessed face and to cause the light of thy countenance to shine upon me that I might not be afflicted because thou knowest right well that it were much better for me that thou shouldest take my life from me than hide thy face from me for what were or would be my life unto me if I did not O my Father see thy face in Jesus Christ yea thou knowest that my life is nothing unto me if I see not alwaies thy face for thy presence is my Heaven on Earth and thy absence my Hell 46. Ah what love is this O my God! wherewith thou hast and dost love me to pardon such a rebellious murderer as I am not for slaying an incestuous Amnon but an innocent Jesus the Son of thy love thine eldest only Son in whom thy soul delighted only 47. Thy love O God my God is such that thou hast not banisht me but brought me back and though I did flye from thee yet thou thy self didst in love run after me and broughtest me back yea such is thy love that thou hast not unthroned me but inthroned me and made me not only an heir but coheir with thy Natural only Son and my Saviour not only of a Crown and Kingdom honourable and glorious but of a Kingdom and Crown of honour and glory and not for a mortal life of time but for an immortal life our of time for ever and for ever 48. Ah Lord God how didst thou love me when thou didst deliver me take me off and free me from my own love from loving my self with self-love that is loving my self more than thee and wert pleased in love and out of the abundance of thy love which is incomprehensible and unconceivable to cause me to choose thy love to prize thy love to desire thy love and to rejoyce in thy love esteeming nothing else lovely or desirable 49. They that love as they ought to love that is rightly and truely love God first and most he is their ultimate end the end of all their aime and the aime of all their end is to love him they love him for all that is in him for that they know that he is all holy all just and all good and they love him chiefly that is most of all because he is God that is because he is what he is even such a God as he is they adore his greatnesse as his goodnesse and fear his goodnesse as his greatnesse they prize his mercy at the highest value and value his Justice at the highest price they admire the knowledge of his Wisdom and as much the Wisdom of his Knowledge they stand amazed at his might and are confounded at his power alike they wonder at his highly lownesse and lowly highnesse that God would be made man and that a man should be still God they are ashamed for that he would be like them and they abhor themselves that they are notwithstanding so unlike him they therefore long for holinesse knowing that it is the greatest and chiefest happinesse it making them like unto him holy as he is holy pure as he is pure and perfect as he is perfect though not so perfectly or purely holy 50. All such as love God thus love themselves for him that is would himself for himself his love to love him his fear to fear him his honour to honour him his knowledg to know him his wisdome to please him his goodness to be good his justice to be just his holiness to be holy his greatness greatly to exalt his power and his might to be mighty in power for him his mercy to be mercifull as he is merciful for being by him Created for himself unto good works they would that all their works were good and all for him to live to him in him and for him for ever and for ever thus if they love themselves 't is for him it is to be his and to do his will on earth whil'st on earth as they shall in Heaven when in Heaven 51. And all such are all full of true love for all their Neighbours and their Neighbours are all men far and near Jew and Gentile bond and free all have their love they love all their condition makes no condition with them they desire and seek and pray for their happiness as for their own they mourn for them many times when they do not mourn for themselves yea they weep much and often in secret for their secret as well as for their open sins they are ashamed on their behalf because they choose not the way of life but still walk walk on still in the wayes of death they have no Enemyes but all are their friends their dear and beloved yea dearly beloved friends such as hate them they love such as curse them they bless such as speak evil of them they pray for and that God would lay none of their sins to their charge they account happiness to them even as their own happiness and rejoyce with them when they do rejoyce yea they would many times willingly and cheerfully part with their joyes their best joyes even their spiritual joyes for their sakes that they might enjoy them they would be content to be as it were in darkness sorrow and sadness that they might be in the light see the light and rejoyce in the light of Gods Countenance they would that they did enjoy these joyes here to be brought home by any meanes to enjoy them for ever hereafter for those that love God whom they never saw must doe and can do no other then love their brethren whom they see daily and those likewise whom they never saw because they are also their brethren 52. Such as love not God rightly which is to love him as God love him for the Loaves not for his love for themselves not for himself for themselves alone or chiefly and not chiefly which is alone for himself they love him because they have need of him his love is lovely not because it is in him or because it is his love and for that it makes him thus lovely as to be only lovely and desireable but they love his love because it is in him for them they love him for Heaven much more then Heaven for him they do not love him because he hath so loved them as to make them lovely and forgiving them of his own love to love him in and with true love 't is not love that they truly love or value as it
poorest and meanest Creature according to the flesh as well as unto the highest in degree and honour among men and that their Conditions blessed be thy Name makes no condition with me for I account my self in very truth Servant and Debtor unto all both bond and free young and old and would with all my heart and soul do for any of them what thou requirest and Commandest yea me thinks I would give them what I have and be without it that they might have it I would be hungry and thirsty and poor and naked to feed refresh cloath and make rich their souls I would most sincerely and willingly that they had all of them a double Portion of the gifts and graces of thy holy Spirit which thou hast given me to the end it might be well with them and they might doubly praise thee Ah Lord Stamp on their hearts the seal of thy Divine love hide them under thy most sacred and glorious pavilion that they may be kept safe from the evil day and from the evil one who continually seeketh to devout them swallow them up O Lord into thy self that they may be ever secure dart O God a beam of thy Divine love that by its reflection they may have love to love thee again as thou lovest them not as to measure or degree that I know well is in none either on earth or in Heaven nor cannot be the most blessed Saints Angels Arch Angels Cherubins and Seraphims were the love of all those lovely blessed and glorious Creatures emptied into one alone then even I know his would come short of thine of thy love O God to that Creature whom thou lovest in the least degree to Salvation for thy love is the love of a God who is love that would be but the love of a Creature thine would be from thy self alone that would be from thee and given by thee so that the love which in sincere love I thus in Jesus Christ begg of thee for them is that they may have true love for thee and thine continually that it may continue with them and in them unto the end till that thou shalt so fill them with that first choyce and chiefe grace that they all may be as thou art in a degree all love Ah Lord God confound I pray thee the wisdome of the wise I mean thou knowest the worldly wise bring down their pride and staine their glory such as will go about to condemne what they cannot mend and to marre what they cannot make turn O God their wisdome as thou did'st Achitophels into foolishnesse but preserve them unto the end from such a like end and open the eyes of their understanding that they may see and acknowledge the errors of their wayes and come speedily out of them and before ever converted unto thee that their souls may ever live with thee Ah Lord God what a most pittiful thing is it and of all things to be lamented with and in teares of blood that any poor soul should either live or die in sin that a soul which is of much more value then ten thousand worlds should be for ever lost and undone for such a base vile filthy thing as is sin the very excrements of naughtinesse and by which O God thou that art worthy of all honour art so much dishonoured and the Devil so much honoured Ah how is it to be pittyed and dolefully lamented that so many poor souls should believe lyes and the Father of lyes the Devil before thy word and thy self who art the God of all truth and love how great Ah how great was thy love O God to save poor lost sinners in sparing and giving thy own only dear and beloved Son to the most shameful and most painful death of the Cross to redeem them from sin death Hell and the Devil and hast thou not promised with him to give them all things And Ah how great was thy love O most sweet Jesus who did'st so willingly submit to thy Fathers will and for the glory which was set before thee for us sinners did'st chearfully endure the Cross and despise the shame aud so sits down at the right hand of thy Father to prepare there a place for us and by thy continual intercession to prepare us for that place and this thy sitting down in glory at his right hand shews plain that thou hast done all that is to be done that can be required all as thou said'st when thou gavest up the Ghost is surely finished our Redemption fully wrought and compleated thy Fathers wrath appeased and he well pleased Ah Christ with and in all humility of heart I speak it thou had'st this spirit in thee thou did'st even as it were thus complain ye will not come to me that ye may have life and did'st weep for and over Jerusalem because her day of salvation was past and thy holy spirit in the mouth of thy Prophet complaineth and as it were lamenteth their sad condition saying Ah why will you dye O House of Israel And further how often doth this thy gracious and blessed spirit O God leave as it were thy bosome and comes and sues and wooes us that he may sanctifie and make us chosen and fit Vessels for thy use Ah Lord thou knowest how often such like considerations have sadened my soul that thou who art the God of truth should'st be thought by so many as it were a lyer for thy Word is not believed by them but made as a thing of nought trampled under foot and cast behind the back and Drunkards Whoremongers and such vile persons words be received entertain'd taken up welcom'd and preferr'd before thee O God before thee and thy Word and all thy most gratious offers of grace Now if such by thy good and gratious Providence come to read these words or of that which thou hast made me to write I humbly pray thee in Jesus Christ thy Son to pity him and pardon him Ah fetch home O God all windering Prodigals that are in far Countrys that is far from thee feeding on Hogs and Harlots which is on their own fleshly Carnal Lusts and vile affect ions Ah Father I know thee to be full of love and compassion Ah be thou pleased to do for all such as thou hast done for me for such was my most miserable and woful condition But I praise thy glorious Name thou hast washt and cleansed and sanctified my soul. Ah be thou pleased to let them all tast of the same love and kindnesse let them drink all of the same Cup and eat of the same meat and be cloathed with the same Robes and have a like ring of Love put on their fingers Ah let them O Father Lord of Heaven and Earth be thus welcomed by the and owned by thee for thine own and adorn'd thus gratiously with thine own glory that thou mayest delight in them and they may make thee only all their joy delight and rejoycing Ah that the
Million of Millions in the body and spirit whom we shall know indeed that they love him indeed and in death 3. If men then on earth delight our sences Ah how shall God in Heaven with delight ravish our hearts 4. Ah Lord let me then still so have thee within me though on earth that I may say with Jacob I have all 5. If men on earth be able to give great gifts and their gifts be so greatly esteemed though but earth Ah how greatly should we esterm that great gift of that great God when he gives us himself who is as good as great and as great as good 6. If earthly joyes do then somtimes rejoyce a Heavenly heart Ah Lord how shall and how doth that heart rejoyce when he is filled with Heavenly joyes yea when he shall be involv'd taken in and swallowed up into the joyes of Heaven 7. And if momentary earthly joyes can give us joy any moment surely Eternal Heavenly joyes shall make us to rejoyce evermore 8. And if hope fill us with joy unspeakable surely fruition shall make us flow over with fulness 9. And if the thoughts of what we know not satisfie us so much surely when we shall know them to be sure we shall be fully satisfied 10. And if faith in believing be so great as it brings Salvation Ah how great shall that Salvation be when it shall be above and beyond that is moâ—e then faith 11. And if to do the will of God on earth imperfectly delight the soul so much that there 's no delight to him like it he preferrs it above his daily food and all other delights in the flesh Ah what delight shall that soul have in Heaven where he shall alwayes and perfectly do his whole and holy perfect will 12. And if God be so well pleased with us here for our weak and imperfect desires after grace Ah how well pleased will he be with us when he shall have made our imperfect grace full and perfect Glory 13. And if God delight so much in us whilst we are here below imperfect and sinners Ah how much and how greatly will he delight in us above when he shall have made us holy and perfect Saints 14. And if our Joys be so great to see God here and his glory darkly as in a glasse with fleshly eies Ah how great shall our joy be to see him gloriously and all his glory in Heaven face to face with spiritual eyes yea with the eyes of his own Holy Spirit 15. And if our Joys be so great to hear of him here with the hearing of the ears Ah how great shall they be to be with him hereafter and to hear himself with an understanding heart 16. And if then our Joys be so great to enjoy him here on earth and but in part imperfectly Ah how great shall our joys and delights he to enjoy him in Heaven not in part but in perfection perfectly fully wholly and holy as he is 17. And if our Joys be so great here on earth in the midst of fears Ah how great shall they be in Heaven where we need fear no fears for that there are no fears there to fear 18. And if our Joys be here on earth so great though surrounded with many sorrows Ah how great shall they be in Heaven when and where all sorrows shall be all done away and turned into fulnesse of joy 19. And if our Joyes be so great among so many displeasing displeasures even here on earth Ah how great shall they be in Heaven when and where all displeasures shall be all done away and our pleasures shall be for ever more 20. Ah fill me then O my good God with thy blessed most blessed self and thy Joys alone that in thee only I may rejoyce 21. If the nether Springs on earth be so sweet Ah how delitious and sweet yea sweetly delitious O God are the upper Springs of Heaven in Heaven 22. If thy left-hand mercies O God be so delightful and do so much delight and please us Ah how much more shall those of thy right-hand delight us with pleasure 23. If his foot-stool favours be so great and we esteem our selves greatly favoured by them to have them Ah how great in favour yea what great favourites shall we be when we shall enjoy in Heaven the favours of his Throne and fit on Thrones by him 24. If to see a glimpse of his glory beauty and brightnesse here on earth do so ravish us with delight joy and admiration so as we could and would alwaies be content to behold it Ah how then shall our hearts be ravisht with that ravishing fulnesse of his bright beautiful glory when we shall in Heaven behold all his glory as he is in his Kingdom of glory with all his glorious Saints and Angels from whose beautiful brightnesse and glory they have all their glorious brightnesse and beauty and are made thus gloriously beautiful with surpassing beauty and glory being in all things made like unto him 25. If then his glory be so sweet in the bud what is it in the branch but Ah then how much greater and sweeter is the Tree that hath so many branches 26. If then so great and sweet on earth Ah how greatly great and sweet in Heaven 27. And if our delights be so great in seeking thee O God here below on earth Ah how incomprehensibly great shall they and will they be when we shall have found thee where thou art above in Heaven 28. And seeing O God thou givest us such wages here whilst we offend thee Ah how great shall they be yea what is there but thou wilt give us when we shall offend thee no more but alwaies please thee 29. And seeing our Heaven is so sweet on earth or our earthly heaven so sweet which is but to see thy back part by Faith darkly as in a glasse Ah how sweet yea how much sweeter shall our heavenly Heaven be or our Heaven in Heaven which is to know thee as thou art O God to be known and see the clearly and plainly even face to face 30. And seeing thy love O God is so great to us here as it constraineth us to love thee Ah how great shall it be to us there when without constraint our greatest joy and pleasure shall be to adore and love thee 31. Ah Lord God that knowest my heart thou knowest that all the desires of my heart yet that the soul of my soul and the heart of my heart desires to love the only and to serve the with all my whole heart 32. If thy name O Lord be so great and fearful unto those that know thee and that know that thou lovest them Ah how fearfully great and greatly fearful shall it be unto those that know thee not but yet know thy greatnesse and how greatly thou hatest them 33. All Glory only Glory and continually Glory be given unto God the God and giver of all gifts grace and
would not have his Kingdom increase and Satans decrease who would not fight for Christ against all his enemies and adversaries knowing that they are already conquered and made his foot-stool who would not labour to undeceive poor silly Souls that go on so fast and run so swift in the waies of Eternal destruction and whose feet make hast to death and who drink up iniquity as it were water and rush into all evil as the horse rusheth into the battel and that rise early and go to bed late that they may yet sin the more and notwithstanding they commit not half the evil that they would they are thus ensnared to their own hurt Ah who would not labour to free such poor creatures as are slaves and drudges and serve such a Master as gives such wages as is Hell death and destruction eternally both for body and Soul Ah who is not an Orator fit enough to set forth the uglinesse and the filthinesse of sin which thus defileth the heart in which God so much delighteth and desireth to dwell and which depraves them of his most blessed and most glorious Image and makes them the Image of the Devil instead of being a member of Christ it makes them a member of Satan instead of being a child of God and an heir of Heaven yea coheir with Jesus Christ it makes them a child of wrath an heir of hell and coheir with the Devil and his Angels of Gods eternal and unplacable wrath and vengance which shall ever burn them but never consume them for God himself will laugh at their great calamity and mock when their fear cometh Ah who would not rejoyce to do such a work as to hinder poor Souls from having such a portion as this and bring them home to Jesus Christ who is the great Doctor who will give them this his Holy Spirit to teach them lead them direct and instruct them in those things which belong to their eternal peace and Salvation which is in all truth and holinesse 198. Thus are all those in whom this Spirit of God dwelleth made partaker of his own holy and divine nature to love the brethren even with this true sincere and free love that they may for ever and ever enjoy that true and free Love of God which shall make them for ever free from all miseries and pains and of all pleasures and joyes enjoying him who enjoyeth all things in himself from himself with whom is all joy unspeakable joy fulnesse of joy and at whose right hand are pleasures for ever more 199. Thus blessed and for ever blessed are all those that have this blessed Spirit of God for their Portion on Earth which shall lead them as the Sons of God unto God their Father and their Portion in Heaven who is the Portion the Father and the everlasting Rest of all the blessed 200. Ah blessed condition to be thus blessed by the Spirit of God yea by the God of all Spirits having hearts so full of true love and charity as to long labour and desire to have all others thus blessed with themselves and as themselves that are so full of the Love of God as to love all others as they love themselves and would have all beloved by him Ah Holy Father increase this thy love in the hearts of all thy children and servants here on Earth that we may together go hand in hand witnessing that the love wherewith we love one another is from thy Love and that we live in thee and thou in us who art all Love even the God of Love and that it is from thy Love and the living of thy holy and blessed Spirit in us that we thus love or love thus 201. Ah Lord God for thine own great glorious and holy names sake take not this thy Holy Spirit the Comforter from me but let it ever abide and dwell in me that I may alwaies go forth before thee rejoycing as the Bride rejoyceth in her Bridegroom for thou O Lord knowest my many weaknesses and imperfections and that I cannot do any thing well pleasing unto thee without the assistance of this thy Holy Spirit for that my heart is all evil only evil and continually evil leave me therefore O Lord this thine holy and blessed Spirit the Sanctifier and the Comforter that I may be ever led in the waies of all truth and holinesse which may conduct me unto thy dwelling place which is all peace rest holinesse blessednesse and eternal life and happinesse 202. Here followeth a short Admonition Exhortation or advice unto all carelesse sinners that prize not this life or living of Gods Holy Spirit in them that they would no longer quench its motions but come out of their sins and tast and see how gratious the Lord is 203. Ah poor most poor and most miserable man for thou thou only art truely miserably poor that art Christlesse though thou aboundest in Corn Wine and Oyl though thou farest delicately every day and art arraied with Purple Scarlet and fine linnen though thou feedest on the delicasies of Egypt and enjoyest all this Worlds good the honours riches and pleasures thereof though thou lyest on the beds of Ivory and hast thy Palaces bedeckt with the gold of Ophir and the pretious Pearls and Diamonds of the Orient though Princes should be thy servants and Kings daughters thy maidens yet remember for all this thou shalt dye and come to Judgement thine honour and thy riches shall not save thee but in the day of thy distresse they shall take themselves wings and flye away from thee miserable comforters are all such comforts Ah put not put not thy trust then on such things as in a moment ere thou art aware shall be taken from thee or thou from them 204. Awake awake from the dead thou carelesse man why sleepest thou arise and Christ shall give thee light and life why Ah why wilt thou be so obstinate as thus wittingly knowingly and wilfully neglect so great Salvation and be thus idle all the day long dost thou not know that the night is coming wherein no man shall work and the day when thou shalt say thou hast no pleasure in them Remember Ah Remember thou that sleepest in security that drinkest in iniquity as water and vanity as with cart-ropes that sayest to thy Soul eat drink and take thy fill of pleasures and to morrow shall be as this day Ah thou fool when wilt thou be wise may not thy Soul this night be taken from thee whose then shall those things be and what Ah what shall become of all those thy vain pleasures and delights thou canst not carry any of them with thee but as thou camest into the World naked so thou shalt naked return from earth thou cam'st and to earth thou shalt again return thine honour shall not go down into the pit with thee nor thy money neither 205. Deceive not then Ah deceive not then thy self any longer with those vain things which are
what liketh God our Heavenly Father but that at times which disliketh him and displeaseth him he as a good Father sometimes punisheth us and sometimes passeth by our failings without punishment eyeing what is best for us and as a Father he never faileth us neither will he suffer us to fail of being his children Once his children and ever his his for ever and for ever 31. Ah Lord God that art so glorious here in Grace how transcendently glorious art thou in Glory If the Earth be so full of thy Glory how full is Heaven O Lord thy dwelling place where thou manifestest thy self unto the Saints and they behold thy beauty and thy glory face to face 32. If thy back parts be so beautiful to our eies here in the flesh how beautiful Ah how beautiful O Lord will thy glorious countenance be unto us in glory where we shall see thee and know thee as thou art to be known 33. Thy presence even here O Lord God when we have Communion with thee doth so delight and ravish us that we had much rather by much be a door-keeper in thy house be a servant to the meanest of all thy servants than sit on Thrones and rule among the wicked that keep not thy Laws 34. I have O Lord I confesse abused thy mercies and do therefore acknowledge that thou mayest justly refuse me all mercies 35. I have walked contrary unto thee O God and still do and therefore I confesse that thou mayest justly walk contrary unto me and give me up to do all the evil that is in my heart which is the very greatest of all thy Judgments in this life 36. We are the work of thine hand we are thine own and thou mayest justly do with us all that seemeth good unto thee to do for what is right in thy sight O Lord is just and right and good 37. When the Lord is with us for good then he hath accepted of us he is in us and we are in him one with him and he one with us we as bone of his bone and flesh of his flesh and he as bone of our bone and flesh of our flesh we are not two but one yea there is such an onenesse as we are one in some measure in all things and have the same affections for all things loving what is to be loved and hating what is to be hated there is a like purity and no mixture in our choyse of good and in our hatred and abhorrency of evil as to the truth and cincerity if it though much different in the degrees 38. Thus even thus is man made in some measure as God that is God-like Thus even thus doth he partake of the holy and Divine Nature of God Thus even thus doth God himself give of himself unto man to make man like himself That man may be satisfied as God is satisfied but differently thus God seeing all things in himself from himself and man seeing what is of God in him is of his free gift from his free Love 39. That is to have a heart according to Gods heart to be alwaies satisfied in all Gods dealings and doings 40. All that God doth is to have his own will accomplisht and done and if our will as it should be according to his will then are we well conrent in and with all that is done for nothing is done or can be done but that and only that which God will have to be done 41. The honour of all the Saints is Gods honour and their glory is to bring him glory or to glorifie him as the Saints and Angels doe in glory 42. Ah Lord God let me as the Bee make honey of the weeds as well as of the flovvers fetch good out of evil as vvell as increase and multiply good from good condemn sin vvhere ever I see it hate it most vvhere I see it most speak most against it vvhen I hear it most spoken for and let the hearing and seeing of grace in others and from others beget more grace in me and let me lay it up as the Bee doth honey in the hive for my self to feed on in the winter of temptation and affliction and that as honey it may be sweet and comfort others also 43. I am resolved O Lord not to be satisfied until I find within me that thou art well and truly satisfied with me and by my whole life and conversation 44. I am O Lord resolved through grace not to be satisfied until I find thy holy Laws so writ on my heart that my heart be according to thy heart and set and bent and resolved entirely and continually and universally in all things to keep thy Law 45. Ah Lord let me so find thee alwaies within me that I may alwaies do the things and only the things that are right in thy sight 46. Let my Love be so true O Lord for thee as I may only love thy truth that truth only in all things may be only lovely unto me 47. Let my goings out be comeings in unto me that is Let all O Lord that I do bring me good yea even my falls make me rise and stand the faster relying on thy strength O God my God who only art able to keep me both from stumbling and from falling 48. Watch O Lord watch over my heart continually that I depart not from thee but that I do the things alwaies that are in some measure according to thy heart 49. The Lord gives his graces unto those that rightly ask them as we would do water at a Fountain unto all those should come for it in a due and right manner give as well a thousand ten thousand yea a hundred times ten thousand draughts to any one that should need it as one draught alone so our God such is his fulnesse such is his goodnesse that he gives as well and as willingly all the desires of our hearts and Souls as one desire alone yea as the least desire of all if we do but ask as we should ask and for that end or those ends alone that he hath appoynted them and us to have them for to give much or little is to him all alike he cannot such a Fountain is he be emptied no nor lessened at all by whatever he gives he is still the same full of all blessednesse and goodnesse alwaies ready to distribute and give unto the necessity of the Saints never weary nor standing still yesterday to day and to morrow and for ever the same 50. Therefore to have much is to ask much ask and ye shall have that your joy may be full God doth not say or mean that we may or can be too bold that we may ask too much And to take away this scruple or doubt he promiseth that what ever we shall ask believingly in the name of Jesus Christ we shall receive if we open our mouths wide then we have his promise that he will fill them which implyes that the way