the Soliloquie A resolution for the time to come VVHile the earth remaineth sayth the Lord to Noah seede time and harvest cold and heate summer and winter Gen 8.22 day and night shall not cease This is a faithfull promise of the true God and therfore cannot be questioned or doubted by Christians But how long shall these seasons last Onely as long as the earth remaineth And how long shall the earth remaine God onely knoweth that it is not in the power or reach of the wisest upon earth to limit the time thereof A time will come Mat 24 35. when heaven and earth shall passe away when the Sunne shall be darkened and the Moone shall not give her light vers 29 and the Starres shall fall from heaven and the powers of the heavens shall be shaken but of that day vers 36 and hower knoweth noe man noe not the Angells in heaven but the Father onely The earth I know shall have a time of dissolution and her funerall piles shall be kindled and fired by him Is 30.33 whose breath like a streame of brimstone doth kindle Tophet Yet though I know not how soone this time shall be expired I hope it may be deferred for many ages and so peradventure it may be But what if it be What can the delaying thereof advantage mee How many ages have passed since the creation of the world How many millions of people have had their successions since the death of Abel I neither was created with the first nor for any thing I know shall I remaine with the last If therfore the earth and the seasons of the earth shall continue a thousand yeares if yet I live not out that thousand yeares what can the age of the world advantage mee Why then doe I fasten my hopes upon future times Why doe I confidently reckon upon yeeres to come or moneths or weekes or dayes Nay why upon to morrow Why upon an hower Why upon a minuit There is nothing more sure then that my former dayes are past and gone and may not be re-called Nothing is more certaine then that the present instant is short and cannot continue And nothing againe is more uncertaine to mee then the future time whereon I depend Moreover If I were sure to live a certaine proportion and number of dayes or weekes or moneths 2. King 20.6 if I were sure that the Lord would adde unto my dayes fifteene yeares as hee did to Hezekiahs yet how doe I know that hee would give mee grace to repent in those fifteene yeeres An impenitent life is but a living death and which is worst of all after that cometh judgment Heb 9.27 If then I vainely flatter my selfe with a hope that my life shall be prolonged and relying upon the broken reede of that deceaving hope if I deferre my repentance I doe but hope that God will lengthen my dayes that I may increase my sinnes so by consequence that my punishment may be increased There is indeede a sort of coveteous people in the world which promise to themselves a continuance of their lives that they may increase their riches These are they which say Iam 4 13. To day or to morrow wee will goe into such a citty and continue there a yeare and buy and sell and gett gaine vers 14 whereas as the Apostle saith they know not what shall be to morrow For what is our life It is even a vapour that appeareth for a litle time and then vanisheth away And there is a sort of luxurious Atheists and Epicures which say Come yee Is 56.12 I will fetch wine and wee will fill our selves with strong drinke and to morrow shall be as this day and much more aboundant Wised 2.5 These are they which say Our time is a very shadow that passeth away and after our end there is noe returning for it is fast sealed that noe man cometh againe vers 6. Come on therfore let us enjoy the good things that are present and let us speedily use the creatures vers 7. like as in youth Let us fill our selves with costly wine and ointments and let noe flower of the spring passe us vers 8. Let us crowne our selves with rose-buds before they be withered vers 9. Let none of us goe without his part of voluptuousnesse let us leave tokens of our joyfullnes in every place for this is our portion and our lott is this And these are they which like the rich Epicure in the Gospel say unto their Soules Lu 12.19 Soule thou hast much goods layed up for many yeares take thine ease eate drinke and be merry All these suppose that man was created onely for meates and not meates for man They conceave that every one shall have a time of pleasure and wickedly they seeke it in the vanitie of the creatures But oh that both they and I might ever have those words of the All mighty sounding in our eares vers 20 Thou foole this night thy soule shall be required of thee and then whose shall those things be which thou hast provided This night Lord Yes this very hower this very instant thou mayst strike mee dead then as death leaves mec judgment shall find mee O it will be a time of horrour and amazement to those that prepare not for to those that expect not his comeing 1. Pet. 4.17 Saint Perer sayd long agoe that The time is come that judgment must beginne at the house of God and if it first beginne at us Lord put mee into that number what shall the end be of them that obey not the Gospel of God And if the righteous scarcely be saved vers 18 where shall the ungodly and sinners appeare Hearke Doest thou heare that ô my soule The righteous shall scarcely be saved This is true for it is the word of trueth It was inspired by his Spirit who sayd Straite is the gate Mat 7.14 and narrow is the way that leadeth to life and few there be that find it O how I tremble when I reade that scarcely and that few What shall I doe to be one of those few allthough I obtaine it never so hardly allthough I know that I shall scarcely attaine to it Lord I will repent but doe thou assist mee Lord I will be faithfull but doe thou increase my faith Lu 17.5 I will doe I say When How Am I sure of any time but the present moment Or can I stay the present instant and hinder it from flying Noe noe I cannot By thy grace therfore blessed God even now this very instant I doe repent and am unfeignedly sorrowfull for all mine offences this very moment I doe believe all that thou hast spoken in thy holy word I doe believe thee I doe believe in thee ô Lord helpe thou my un-beliefe Mar 9.24 If I shall have any more minuits allotted mee I wil number them with my teares
poore for thy sake allways considering that the vanities of earth are not worthy to be compared to the glory that shall be revealed 1. Pet. 5 1. Heb. 4.13 1. Tim. 2.9 vers 10 O thou to whose eyes even all things are naked and open graunt that I may adorne my selfe in modest apparell with shamefastnesse and sâ—brietie not so much with gold or pearles or costly aray as with good workes becomeing a professour of godlinesse Make mee labour for the ornaments of the hidden man in the heart in that which is not corruptible 1. Pet. 3 4. Luc. 12 21. 2. Cor. 9.11 1. Tim. 6.18 Iam. 2.5 Reu 3.18 even the ornament of a meeke quiet spirit which is in thy sight of greatest price Make mee ô heavenly father rich in thy selfe rich unto liberalitie rich in good workes in faith Make mee buy of thee gold tryed in the fire that I may berich and white raiment that I may be cloathed and that the shame of my nakednesse doe not appeare Let mee allways remember that greate accompt which one day I must render to thee the Lord of heaven and earth that so I may serve thee here with my substance in my body and my soule with zeale and devotion and hereafter be receaved to thine ever-lasting glory through the merits of thy sonne in thy bosome Iesus Christ my onely Lord and Saviour Amen subject 7 THE SEAVENTH SUBjECT Teares in want or in the time of adversitie In foure severall Soliloquies treating of 1 A decayed est ate or plentie turned into povertie 2 Hunger both corporall and spirituall 3 Thirst both bodily and ghostly 4 Nakednesse both of the out-ward and the in-ward man The first Soliloquie Treating of a decayed estate or Plenty turned into povertie THE EjACULATION Psal 5. vers 1. Give eare to my words o Lord consider my meditation vers 2. Hearken unto the voice of my cry my king and my God for unto thee will I pray VVHen Mary had powred her precious oyntment on the head of my Redeemer Mat 26 7. his disciples were filled with indignation vers 8. vers 9. said To what purpose is this wast For this oyntment might have beene sould for much and given to the poore vers 10 But when Iesus understood it hee said why trouble yee the woman For shee hath wrought a good worke upon mee vers 11 For yee have the poore allways with you but mee yee have not allways O mee think's the words of my Saviour doe more afflict mee then the povertie which I suffer I thought hee had beene allways conversant with the poore because hee so often commandeth their reliefe But now hee seemeth to leave us in our miserie when hee determineth that wee shall continue upon earth but himselfe resolveth to leave the earth But did hee not promise in Saint Mathew say Mat. 28 20. Loe I am with you allway even unto the end of the world How can his promise be fullfilled if wee have him not allway Will hee be at the same time both present with us and absent from us Or doeth hee disdaine our poverty and for that very reason deny us his presence Cease cease ô my soule these doubts questions which savour too much of ignorance Rom. 3 4. or infidelitie Let God be true and every man a lyer What hee spake to his disciples before his suffering hee spake of his flesh but what hee said when hee was risen hee affirmed of his Spirit True it is ô my Iesus that thy bodily presence I expect not upon earth Ps 144 5. nor may I desire thee to how the heavens and come downe from thy glory â—t is thy Spirit ô Christ which I humbly sue â—or even that Comforter who may strengthen â—…ee in the depth of my calamities Never â—ad I more neede of comfort from God then â—ow when the goods of the world forsake mee Now doe I find that I am hated Prov. 14.20 c 18.23 c 19.4 even of mine owne neighbours but the rich hath many friends I am enforced to use intreaties c 18.23 but the rich answereth mee roughly c 19.4 Wealth did make many friends but now I am poore I am seperated from my neighbours vers 7. All my brethren doe hate mee and much more doe my friends goe farre from mee I pursue them with words yet they are wanting unto mee Vaine world where are thy promises Deceitfull riches where is your friendship I who so lately was dandled in the lappe of pleasure and plenty am now exposed to paines and penury So litle did I dreame of this tempestuous storme that with David I said in my prosperitie Psa 30.6 I shall never be removed thou Lord of thy goodnesse hadst made my hill so strong But where are now those ensignes of pride my Rings and my Iewells Where are those factours of lasciviousnesse my favours and my fashions Where are those robbers of time my sports my games Where are those moths wormes of plenty my flattering society and my discursive companions Where are those pamperers of the body my severall dishes and daintie cookeries Where be those golden pictures that often yeelded mee leggs and the courtsies Alasse all 's gone all 's flowen The Sun is hidden and muffled in a clowde and by that meanes those atomes those motes are obscured Now must I expect noe more honour or respect My fingers and my wrists and my neck must forget that ever they were adorned with the treasure of the seas and the riches of the earth My back must forget that ever it was dressed in the fashion of strangers Mine eares must forget that ever they were delighted with the musick of discourses My palet must forget that ever it was coy and nice in the choyce of various meates My mind must forget that ever I was honoured with the respect of inferiours And my purse must forget that ever it was acquainted with the idoll of the world O what wonder and misery happen's in this change All things are altered as if I had slept out my time and onely dreamed of the pleÌ„tie which formerly I enjoyed Mee think's I am but just newly borne Nay I am worse for now I have neither nurse to suckle mee nor mother to dandle mee Yet am I still as if I were borne but a day or two since allthough I am growne to bignesse beyond the time for I am as ignorant of a way to live in the world as the sucking infant that 's nourished at the breast And now what shall I doe Nor acquaintance nor friends nor kindred nor any will remember that ever they knew mee or if they doe they will be moreready to taunt mee then afford mee reliefe Was ever miserie like unto mine Was ever distressed soule so destitute so forlorne as I am Whither shall I goe To whom shall I complaine Either my tougue hath forgotten to speake or my friends to heare
come to take unto him my two Sonnes to be bondmen vers 2. Then Elisha sayd unto her What shall I doe for thee Tell mee what hast thou in thine house And shee sayd thine hand-mayd hath not any thing in the house save a pot of oyle Then hee sayd vers 3. Borrow thee vessells abroad of all thy neighbours even empty vessells borrow not a few vers 5. So shee went from him and did as hee commanded her when all the vessells miraculously were filled with oyle Elisha said unto her Goe sell the oyle vers 7. and pay thy debts and live thou and thy children of the rest This the widow of Zarephath allso found true to her comfort for when shee had but an hand-full of meale in a barrell 1. King 17.12 and a litle oyle in a cruse and went to gather two sticks that shee might gee in and dresse it for her and her sonne that they might eate it and dye even then Elijah the Prophet tould her saying Thus saith the Lord of Israël vers 14 The barrell of meale shall not wast neither shall the cruse of oyle faile untill the day that hee Lord sendeth raine upon the earth example 3 3. The Lord not onely relieveth us in our wants but allso hee succoureth us in our losses and comforteth us in our sorrowes Lu 7.12 When my Saviour came nigh to the gate of the citty Naim and behould there was a dead man caried out the onely Sonne of his mother and shee was a widow and much people of the citty was with her even then vers 13 vers 14 when the Lord saw her hee had compassion on her and sayd unto her Weepe not And hee came and touched the beere and they that bare him stood still and hee sayd Young man I say unto thee arise vers 15 And hee that was dead sate up began to speake And hee delivered him to his mother example 4 4. The same Lord hath likewise comanded men to helpe us Thus though Eliphaz accuseth Iob Iob. 22 9. c 31.16 vers 22 saying Thou hast sent widowes away empty yet Iob himselfe saith If I have with-held the poore from their desire or have caused the eyes of the widow to faile then let mine arme fall off from my shoulder-blade and mine arme be broken from the bone Thus when Ioab did seeke to incline the heart os David to fetch home Absalom who had sted from him upon his killing of his brother Amnon hee had noe other way to effect his desires but by suborning the widow of Tekoah And shee came to the King 2. Sam 14.4 vers 5. and fell on her face to the ground and did obeysance and said Helpe ô King And the King said unto her What ayleth thee And shee answered I am indeede a widow woman and mine husband is dead c. And by these meanes getting audience of the King who pittied her as a widow shee prevailed at length for Absalom's pardon Thus though the un-just judg which is mentioned in the Gospel Lu 18.4 vers 5. did neither feare God nor regard man yet when a widow troubled him hee said I will avenge her of her adversarie lest by her continuall coming shee wearie mee example 5 5. In our wants wee may borrow and the rich must lend to us yea and they are forbidden to use us with crueltie or severitie They must not so much as take a pledg of us The Israëlites were forbidden it by God himselfe for so saith the Lord Deut. 24.17 Thou shalt not pervert the â—…dgment of the stranger nor of the fatherlesse â—or take a widowes raiment to pledg Yea and â—mong those that remove the land-markes Iob. 24.2 that violently take away the flocks and feede thereof vers 3. and those that drive away the Asse of the fatherlesse Iob doeth ranke and reckon them who take the widowe's oxe for a pledg example 6 6. Moreover every one must be an advoâ—ate to pleade for us Among other dueties required of Iudah the Lord not onely commandeth that shee should judg the fatherlesse Is 1.17 but allso that shee should pleade for the Widow and hee therfore sendeth his wrath and showreth his vengeance upon them because they judg not the fatherlesse vers 23 neither doeth the cause of the widow come unto them example 7 7. The judges are allso commanded to defend us and to countenance our causes Every one must be a judg to the distressed widow therfore the law runneth peremptorily Deut 27.19 Cursed be hee that perverteth the judgment of the stranger fatherlesse and widow and all the people shall say Amen example 8 8. The righteous must visit us for the Apostle saith that pure religion Iam â— 27. and un-defiled before God and the father is this to visit 〈◊〉 fatherlesse and widowes in their affliction c. example 9 9. None may afflict or oppresse us for God himselfe giveth the charge Ex. 22.22 saying 〈◊〉 shall not afflict any widow Againe by 〈◊〉 Prophet thus speaketh the Lord of host saying Zech. 7 10. Is 10.2 Oppresse not the widow Woe unto theâ— saith the Prophet Isaiah that take away the right from the poore of my people that widoweâ— may be their prey example 10 10. And lest wee should be overborne with sorrowes and lost in our griefes wee have authoritie even from God to be cheerefull and to rejoyce Deut. 16.14 So saith the Lord Thou shalt rejoyâ— in thy feast thou and thy Sonne and thy daughter and thy manservant and thy maydservant the Levite the stranger the fatherlesse the widow that are within thy gates example 11 11. Yea and wee have more freedome to enter into any religious vow then formerly was graunted us yea then when wee were under the tuition of our indulgent parents Though a virgin by the law might not fulfill her vow if it stood not with the liking Num. 30.5 and pleasure of her father yet the Lord himselfe doeth ordaine saying Every vow of a widow as well as of her that is divorced vers 9. wherewith they have bound their soules shall stand against her Saint Paul allso treating of our libertie to tye our selves in a second vow of nuptiall dueties saith The Wife is bound by the law as long as her husband liveth but if her husband be dead 1. Cor. 7.39 shee is at libertie to be maried to whom shee will onely in the Lord. Seeing then the Lord is so mercifull and gratious unto us who have lost the content and comfort of our guides and directours provided that wee are widowes indeede and desolate trusting in God 1. Tim. 5.5 continuing in supplications and prayers night and day why sit I thus disconsolate as if I neither had right to the societie of Christians nor were regarded by my maker Whence flow these teares Whence arise these sighes sobbs of a troubled
speaketh better things then that of Abel Rev. 2.10 1. Cor 3.21 vers 22 vers 23 I know that if I am faithfull unto death hee will give unto mee a crowne of life I know that all things are ours so long as wee are his whether the world or life or death or things present or things to come all are ours and wee are Christ's Christ is God's Why the doe I crie out upon my paines Is any paine which I can suffer either so much as I deserve by offending my Iesus or comparable to his torments which hee suffered for mee Flesh thou hast disturbed mee all my life with thy sweete and sugered baites hast allured mee to sinne but I will drowne thee therfore in my teares Thou art allready drawen low by my sicknesse and yet because this punishment is not enough thou who wert kept from staines with curious though simple art shalt now be tumbled into the dirt from whence thou camest For the beds of downe on which thou hast stretched thy selfe thou shalt lye downe in the hard and stonie earth for the greate and spatious chamber◠which thou didst pride thy selfe in thou shalt be confined to the skantnesse narrownesse of a coffin for the curious hangings which adorned thy roomes were the costly adventures and labours of forreiners thou shalt be closely wrapped bound in thy grave-clothes and for the gallant societie which thou so cheerefully delightedst in thou shalt have the companie of nothing but wormes yea and such wormes too as thou didst loath in thy seeming prosperitie shall be at once both thine associates thy greedie devourers World thou art an imposter hast treacherously deluded mee with hopes of vanitie but now I find that thy braverie is but follie thy riches but fumes smoakes that vanish thy friendship but hatred thy pride but madnesse thy beautie but uglinesse and all thy temtations are but leaders to destruction I hate thee therfore thou vaine world and leave thee behind mee as contemning the societie of trifles so un worthy and though for a time thou mayst foole the un wise and bewitch them with the false glasses of thy seeming glory yet know thou that the time shall come when thou shalt consume in thy flames and shalt burne in a heape at the day of revenge And as for you ô yee black and uglie slaves of perdition yee hellish-criew of infernall fiends goe seeke some other to delude with your suggestions in mee yee have neither share nor hope for neither should your torments be lessened if yee could seduce mee nor shall nor can your madnesse prevaile against thy redeemed soule to increase the number of your schreeches and howlings And now ô my Iesus come come away for I am thine and thou art mine Why stayest thou so long Why delayest thou the time The longer I live I doe but the more offend thee and the more I offend thee the more doe my sorrowes burden mee for these mine offences O would it not be more for thy glory to free mee from corruption that I might sing praises to thy name without any feare of displeasing thee How long Lord how long wilt thou keepe mee from thy tryumphant quire Ps 42.2 My soule is a thirst for thee my heart panteth after thee ô when shall I come and appeare in thy presence ô my God O how truely and eagerly doe I long for death that I may live with thee who art the truth and the life Io 14.6 I know that one day dye I must but my death shall be nothing but a passage unto life for though in Adam all dye yet in thee ô Christ 1. Cor. 15.22 shall all be made a live I cry Lord I cry to thee I cry because thee I have offended to thee onely I cry because thou onely doest heare and wilt helpe to thee onely I cry because thou onely hast redeemed mee to thee ô to thee I cry to hasten to come with speede O God make speede to save mee O Lord make hast to helpe mee Dan. 9.19 Rom 7 24. Ps 22.17 O Lord heare ô Lord forgive ô Lord deliver mee from the body of this death These pale cheekes and these hollow eyes and these staring bones and this sbrivell'd skinne are now mee think's adorned with beautie because they bring mee the glad tidings of the approaches of my Redeemer This bed is hard to what I shall find in the grave these sheetes are course and un-easie to that which I shall be wound in Come ô Christ ô stay noe longer I feare thou art angrie with mee or else ere now I should have seene thy face but if thou art angry Ps 30.5 I am well assured that thy wrath endureth but the twinkling of an eye and in thy presence is life My spirit cryes come and my wearied soule cryes come and my weake limbs cry come Come therfore ô my Redeemer Come Lord Iesus Come quickly exercise 5 5. The resignation of the Soule into the hands of God THe Prophet Ieremiah admonished the house of Israel saying Give glory to the Lord your God before hee cause darknesse and before your feete stumble upon the darke mountaines and while yee looke for light and hee turne it into the shadow of death and make it grosse darknesse That glory I have given and now I doe render to the Lord my God so farre as hee in his goodnesse is pleased to enable mee And now that time is come that happy moment O Well-come blessed hower so long expected so long desired How rebellious hath beene my flesh that it held put so long and now hides it selfe under my dryed skinne and shrink's it selfe up as unwilling to yeeld Away proud dust thou canst have noe hope of a freedome from putrefaction allthough the time shall come when the Lord will glorifie thee That time I know will come indeede yea I know it assuredly Ps 56.9 Iob. 19.25 vers 26 for the Lord is on my side I know that my Redeemer liveth and that hee shall stand at the latter day upon the earth and though after my skinne wormes destroy this body vers 27 yet in my flesh I shall see God whom I shall see for my selfe and mine eyes shall behold and not other though my reines be consumed within mee I have though weakely and imperfectly endeavoured to glorifie my God before this hower approached both in the confesion to him of my grievous sinnes ah those uglie sinnes which I still grieve for am sorry for them and yet not without a certaine confidence and assurance of his mercy Lord I thanke thee for this happy hower Now I find that though the wicked is driven away in his wickednesse Pro 14 32. yet I am filled with hope in my death Wicked alas I was and woe is mee wicked I am if considered in my felfe but in thee ô Iesus I am holy in thy righteousnesse I am righteous therfore
I cannot shunne Alasse alasse I am yet in every thing unlike unto him for I sinne I have a pronenesse to sinne with the Sodomites yea and by nature I am as apt to give as to follow an example sometimes as ready to teach others how to offend as sometimes to follow and imitate their offences But ô I wish I earnestly begge I humbly besiech my mercifull Lord to send his Angells even this very morning to bring mee out of the sinnes and the societie of the Sodomites This is the time when the Angel of the Covenant said unto Iacob Gen. 32 26. after the wrestling Let mee goe for the day breaketh But Lacob answered and sayd I will not let thee goe except thou blesse mee Howsoever mee thinks I should be like unto Iacob and if I have neglected wrestling this night with the Angel yet now I should beginne I should wrestle and tugge and strive and hold fast by faith in my prayers and my teares too as Iacob did and not suffer him to goe untill hee hath blessed mee The Prophet assureth mee Hos 12 4. that hee had power over the Angel and prevailed hee wept and made supplication to him O so must I too so will I too But how can I possiblie either be a prince or especially such a prince as Israel was who as a prince had power with God Gen. 32 28. and with men and hee prevailed and was blessed Well 't is so I am resolved upon it 't is the right way I will pray and weepe and weepe and pray I will begge with my teares and I will begge with my tongue and I will begge with all my heart I will strive and pray and mourne and â—ry It shall be a clowdie morning it shall be a thick muddie low'ring morning Mee think's I beginne to feele a clowde even breake allready at mine eyes O come forth come forth a whole clowde of teares Knitt your selves into blacknesse and thicknesse Be fruitfull be pregnant and when your time is come be yee delivered in mine eyes I am not yet risen come quickly and I my selfe will bring you to bed 'T is good 't is wholesome even thus to wash my sinfull eyes betimes in a morning It is not fire nor aire that is predominant in the eyes but onely water Surely then I will weepe that I may see the cleerer the better not outwardly but inwardly not to looke downe-wards but upwards toward this blessing Angel Ps 6.7 Mine eye with David's shall be consumed because of griefe and then I doubt not but I shall conclude with his joy and truely say vers 8. The Lord hath heard the voyce of my weeping The second part Of the Soliloquie Fitted for one that is newly arisen FAre-well that bed of ease which would have betrayed mee both to sloath and povertie Fare-well to those curtaines devised to obscure the morning's light See see how that bewitching nest doeth yet retaine the print of my body as if it longed to entice mee againe to my sloath and wooed mee to make it the sepulcher of my living selfe I am now up and thanks let mee render to him that hath delivered mee once againe to the light of a morning Gen. 1.5 Hee that called the darknesse Night the light hee allso styled Day Hee promised Noah when hee came out of the Arke c 8.22 that While the earth remaineth seede time and harvest cold and heate summer and winter Day and Night shall not cease This his promise hee keepe 's Ps 19.1 for The heavens declare the glorie of God vers 2. and the firmament sheweth his handie worke Day unto Day uttereth speech Night unto night sheweth knowledg Yea hee is so sure in the performance of whatsoëver hee promiseth to his chosen servants that hee sendeth a challenge to the world Ier. 33.20 and saith Thus saith the Lord If yee can breake my covenant of the Day and my covenant of the Night and that there shall not be â—ay and Night in their season vers 2â— Then may allso 〈◊〉 covenant be broke with David Surely the â—e wee cannot and as surely the other hee â—ill not doe Iob. 41.18 Now the eye-lids of the morning â—e open and what can that teach mee but 〈◊〉 open mine eyes that I may see the goodâ—esse of the Lord in the cleernesse of the â—…y Mee think's it instruct's mee to say â—ith David It is a good thing to give thanks â—…to the Lord Ps 92.1 and to sing praises unto thy name 〈◊〉 most high vers 2. To shew forth thy loving kindnesse 〈◊〉 the morning and thy saithfullnesse every â—ight I will therfore follow the advice of â—he same Prophet will Sing unto the Lord â—nd blesse his name Ps 96.2 I will shew forth his salvaâ—on from day to day Yea Ps 59.16 I will sing of thy â—ower ô my God I will sing aloud of thy mercy â—n the morning for thou hast beene my defence His power I see in the performance of his covenant his mercy I see in bringing mee to the light O how the prettie Choristours of the woods doe sing their anthemes and in their musicall notes warble out the praises of the Creatour of the morne How the Easterne Sun doe's guild the mountaines with his radiant lustre and climb's by degrees higher into the heavens that it may with more direct beames both warme and enlighten mee Mee think's I am chidd by the quire in the aire for my tardie thanksgiving and the Sun would flinke behind a shaddowing clowde as unwilling to give light to one that hastens not to a celestiall rise Thus I behould the Sun arisen from the earth and surely mee thinks I should even out-vye it both in motion and place and faster should I climb higher should I rise even to the seate of blessed Eternitie But woe is mee I have too much earth about mee and the aire is too thinne to beare up my bodie Had I wings like the Eagle I would attempt my desires but noe meanes is alotted to a corporall ascent Yet though my body be forbid to enter those pallaces untill it shall be glorified at the greate restauration my soule may be admitted so soone as ever it shall be freed from this tabernacle of flesh Yea and my thoughts may presently at this very instant mount up to my God so they be cleane and pure and in an humble reverence I may discourse with my Creatour It is my duety thus to doe and it shall be my care to observe so royall a command O how good is my God unto mee making mee a sharer of his terrestriall blessings But ô how farre doeth hee exceede the measure of this bountie in giving mee the meanes to be partaker of heaven Some thing I see when up-ward I looke and something there is which I long to possesse but 't is not that Christall shell that bound's my sight which I so count nor
more rather then I shall grieve too much or then my lawfull affaires shall be hindered by my teares I am sure that the tender hand of my compassionate redeemer will wipe mine eyes These ô these are the incense which I must offer unto him Hee first must smell the sweetenesse of a savour arising from them before hee 'll be so propitious as to send downe his benediction Wicked and profane Esau could sieke the blessing with teares Heb. 12 16. vers 17 vers 16 and shall not I goe farther in my weeping then hee who for one morsell of meate had sould his birth-right Yes I must I will for what can I doe this day in hope of a blessing if I doe not first appease my God who is angry for my sinnes The swallowes which usually sport in the aire and strive for a kind of superioritie in the height of their flying are yet contented to humble them selves and draw neere to the earth in their prediction of a storme My thoughts like the birds have sported themselves in the airy fant'sies of sin and impietie but now they shall stoope and humblie they shall flie and foretell to mine eyes the storme that 's arising It was the duetie of Aaron every morning to burne sweete incense upon the altar of intense Ex. 30.7 When hee dressed the lampes hee was to burne incense upon it What was that incense but a gumme And what was that franke that free incense but the teares of a tree What is myrrhe but an Arabian droppe What is frankincense but the teares which twice every yeere doe fall from the Arabian and Sabae'an trees If that gumme be nothing but the teares of the plants what other are our teares then the gumme of our selves Well then I will be the Aaron mine eyes shall be the Lampes which first I will dresse mine heart shall be the Altar dedicated wholly to the service of my God This morning is the time appointed to burne sweete incense on the altar My teares therfore of contrition the gumme which distills from my sorrowfull eyes shall be the incense my heart the altar my zeale the fire and my sighes and groanes shall ascend like the smoake the sweetest perfume delightfull in the nostrills of my glorious maker Lord make thou mine offering acceptable to thy selfe through the meritts of thy Sonne and when thou smellest the savour then send mee thy blessinge Or if my sighes and teares cannot prevaile they shall be accompanied with my petitions and my heart and eyes and hands and tongue shall joyne together in a friendly consent and so shall they tender my supplication to the Lord of bountie This was David's custome Ps 88.13 unto thee say's hee have I cryed ô Lord and in the morning shall my prayer prevent thee Lord give mee such a sense of my sinnes now I meditate both on their number and their punishment that I may heartily grieve for them and with my teares likewise let my tongue accord for I must not onely be chastened every morning with the sacrifice of mine eyes Ps 73.14 but I must allso with my prayer prevent my God This therfore I will presently performe with bended knees and yerning bowells and an oppressed heart and praying I will say The Morning Prayer O Sunne of righteousnesse Mal. 4.2 Ps 110.3 glorious God thou who hadst the deaw of thy birth from the wombe from the essence of thy father before the early morning of the world's creation have thou respect unto the prayers 1. King 8.28 and teares of thy servant O hearken unto the cry and to the prayer which thy servant prayeth before thee this morning My sinnes I must needes confesse are many and black and mine ignorance of them is thicker by farre Ex. 10.21 then the Egyptian darknesse I feele their weight in the fiercenesse of thy wrath and the burden of them in the heavinesse of my soule ô whither shall I flye for redresse and comfort From thee I cannot goe and yet to thee I dare not come because thou art so highly and so justly displeased But Lord since thou art every where come downe into my heart and since it is thy property to forgive the penitent be reconciled unto mee who mourne by reason of thy displeasure O be grations unto mee in the tender bowells of thy wonted compassion and ease mee of my sinnes by the sufferances of thy Sonne Ps 5.8 Ps 25.5 Leade â—ee this day in thy righteousnesse leade mee in â—hy trueth and teach mee for thou art the God of â—y salvation Ps 5.8 Ps 65.8 make thy way straite before my â—ace O thou that makest the out-goeings of the morning and evening to rejoyce Neh 1.6 let thine eare be attentive and thine eyes open that thou mayst behould my sorrowes for my grievous offences and hearken to my desires of pardon and remission In thy heavenly Ierusalem Reu 21 25. ô my glorious God there is noe night at all nor are the gates thereof shut at all by day At those gates ô Christ I lye at the gate of thy mercy I knock ô Iesus Heare Lord and hare mercy Ps 30.10 Lord be thou my helper Preserve mee from sinne this ensueing day and let the light of thy grace shine so cheerely in my heart that all my thoughts and words and actions may be wholly bent to glorifie thy name Lam 3 2â— It was thy mercy that I was not consumed this night and for my sinnes delivered over to the tormentour to be punished Thy compassions faile not they are new every morning vers 2â— and greate is thy faithfullnesse O make thou mee to feele thy loving kindnesses this morning more more for in thee doe I trast Ps 143.8 cause thou mee to know the way wherein I should walke for I lift up my soule unto theâ— Suffer mee not this day either to accompanse or to imitate the ungodly Ps 90.6 whose righteousnesse in the morning flourisheth and groweth up but in the evening is â—…t downe and withered But make mee to walke and continue in the path of the just which is as the shining light Prov 4 18. that shineth more and more unto the perfect day Take mee this day and all that thou hast blessed mee with into thy gratious protection Let not the violent oppresse mee nor the deceavers delude mee nor the enemie of man-kind ensnare mee Ps 89 2â— Ps 1.3 Ps 37.5 nor the sonne of wickednesse afflict mee and graunt that whatsoever I doe it may prosper Vnto thee Lord doe I committ my way in thee doe I trust doe thou bring my desires to passe vers 6. Bring forth my righteousnesse as the light and my just dealing as the noone day Make mee fruitfull this day in every good word and worke Col 1.10 Is 58.10 that I may draw out my soule to the hungrie and satisfie the afflicted soule and performe all the christian
am cloathed indeede Zech 3 3. but it is with ragges and filthy garments as bad or worse then was Ioshua when once hee stood before the Angel Such an Angel I want vers 4. as was hee who spake unto them that were before him and said Take away the filthy garments from him The cause of my shame is sinne the cause of my poverty is mine iniquity O that the Angell of the covenant would say unto mee Behold I have caused thine iniquity to passe from thee and I will cloath thee with change of raiment Mee think's I looke like the counterfeiting Gibeonites when by craft they obtained a league with Ioshua Ios 9.4 for they tooke old sacks upon their asses and wine bottells old and rent and bound up vers 5. And old shooes and clowted upon their feete and old garments upon them and all the bread of their provision was drie and mouldie Ierusalem's curse is fallen upon mee as God threatned her so am I punished Eze 16 39. I will give thee saith the Lord into thine enemies hand and they shall throw downe thine eminent place and shall breake downe thine high places they shall strippe thee allso of thy cloathes and shall take thy faire jewells and leave thee naked and bare It is thus with mee too Poverty is mine enemie into whose hands I am fallen It hath throwne downe mine eminent place it hath dejected my countenance My high places it hath broken downe my loftie thoughts and prowd imaginations It hath allso stripped mee of my clothes and tooke away my faire jewells and thus hath it left mee naked and bare The curse which David wished to his enemies hath seized on mee Ps 109 29. for I am cloathed with shame and covered with confusion as with a mantle And yet if I truely consider the state I am in I cannot deny but my sufferance is just for apt I have beene to wish evill to others and the same is fallen now upon my selfe In my passion I have beene ready to cloath my selfe with cursing vers 18 like as with a garment and it is now come into my bowells like water and like oyle into my bones O that I could bemoane my selfe of my former prosperitie as Iob did him selfe and that I could as truely say of my selfe that I put on righteousnesse and it cloathed mee Iob. 29.14 my judgment was a robe and a diadem But for want of that robe of righteousnesse I am cloathed now with the ragges of poverty in so much that I am allmost as much ashamed of the cover of my nakednesse as I am to appeare naked without a covering Where ô where is that courteous Saul 2. Sam 1.24 at whose death King David lamenting sang this Elegie Yee daughters of Israël weepe over Saul who cloathed you in scarlet with other delights who put on ornaments of gold upon your appearell Alasse here is neither scarlet nor ornaments noe nor a Saul to bestow them on mee Mat 11 8. Luc 16 19. They that weare soft cloathing are in Kings houses It is for such as Dives was to be cloathed in purple and fine linnen I can expect noe such costly coverings But is not my heart desirous of the gayest robes Is not my mind imployed in wishes for such vanities Let mee not deceave my selfe When I see another sumptously arayed doe's not the sight thereof incline mee to pride Could I not dispence with the vanity of silkes and colours and fashions if I had but meanes to purchase or procure them Doe not I honour the person for the borrowed habit and vallew more the richnesse of the cloathes then the vertue of the person I feare that my heart is not truely humbled for if I long for that which now I am denyed if my mind submitt not to the weakenesse of my fortunes it is much to be feared I am poore in habit but not in spirit But whence proceede my murmurings and discontents Why am I so desirous of sumptuous apparell Doe colours adde any thing at all to the heate Or doe onely silkes and costly stuffs preserve the body from the view of spectatours Certainly the coursest wooll which groweth on the sheepe hath power enough both to cover and to warme From whence then proceedeth the ground of my discontent Is it not from pride yea such pride as standeth not either with religion or reason Religion forbiddeth it Iam 4.6 for God resisteth the proude but giveth grace to the humble Reason contradicteth it for why should wee strive for a pompous covering and to out-vye each other in the glory of our garments when as all of us have beene equally naked at our births and shall equally returne to the earth our mother Those silkes which so highly are vallewed in our esteeme are but the intrails of a very worme which seemeth to lye as an agent for the tempter Shee seeing how vainely wee magnifie her esteeme preserveth her vallew by losse of her bowells and all to maintaine the pride of fooles But why should it reteine such respect among us as if the carkenet were much more worth then the jewell or the labour of a worme were of more account then the skinne of a Christian If wee prize the colour that 's sett on the silkes wee doate upon that which is fondly made and quickly decayed Some borrow of the tree the berrie that dye's and some of the fields the herâ—s that colour's and some of the earth that which fitt's for a tincture and yet when the choycest colours are sett on our silkes wee cannot deny them all to be staines Mee think 's the very flowers chide our madnesse for our esteeme of colours The Lillie is afraid lest wee should adore its whitenesse and the feare thereof enforceth a palenesse The Tulip blusheth at the simplnesse of our opinions and to teach us our vanity it withereth in a day Our coverings are onely remembrancers of our fall yet to increase the number of our sinnes wee have added pride to the necessitie of apparell Wee magnifie our selves in these emblemes of our disobedience and render them such honour as if wee rejoyced at our miserie Nothing upon earth offended the Creatour but onely our parents and nothing therfore save onely their off-spring doth borrow a covering It is true indeede that the wretchednesse of our condition was the parent of a vertue for modestie had noe name in the time of innocency This vertue is since become a duety but wee out-doe our commands in the excesse of our apparell But what can wee weare which properly and truely may be termed ours Or how long can that continue which wee borrow of the creatures The Parrat the Finch and the bird of Paradise all these outshine us in the varietie of colours and in their naturall glory teach us the vanitie of our imitating art Those colours which wee have are not properly ours nor can their beauty long continue for they dye
ghost c 25.8 and dyed in a good old age Iud 8.32 1. Chr 29.28 Gen 23 1. vers 2. an old man full of yeeres and was gathered to his people Gideon the sonne of Ioash dyed in a good old age David dyed in a good old age full of dayes riches and honour Sarah was an hundred twentie and seaven yeeres old when shee dyed in Kiriath arba These and thousands of others who lived greate and good ages lay downe in the dust and their spirits were caried by Angells into the kingdome of happinesse the citty of my God why then should not I endeavour to follow them to blisse Dye I must but when or where or how I can not determine Yet sure I am that if I live the life of the righteous I shall dye their death Num 23.10 and receave their reward As neere as I am to my longest home I am not assured what death I shall dye neither by what disease nor with what torments or ease Gen 42.38 Iacob was afraid that his gray haires should be brought downe with sorrow to the grave When David gave Solomon a charge concerning Ioab hee commanded him 1. King 2.6 saying Let not his hoary head goe downe to the grave in peace Concerning Shimei hee likewise charged him vers 9. saying His hoary head bring thou downe to the grave with blood The rebellious Israëlites were threatned for their disobedience Deut 28.49 vers 50 that the Lord should bring a nation against them which should not regard the person of the oldâ— nor shew favour to the young I have noe more priviledg nor prerogative then they unlesse I can prove that I am better then they Nay more the manner or the kind of death though never so tormenting is farre from satisfying for the smallest offence My death may be troublsome and sull of miserie and yet my doome may be full of horrour O what shall I doe What shall I doe to escape that sentence of wrath which can never be recalled The more yeeres I have lived the more sinnes I have committed The words of the ould Patriarch doe more properly belong unto mes then they did unto him Few Gen 47.9 and evill have the dayes of the yeeres of my life beene O what a world of crimes is my soule oppressed with What shall I doe to pacifie my God against whom my sinnes and offences have beene committed Nothing but blood can satisfie for my skarlet crimes and noe blood can appease him but the blood of his Sonne and noe share can I have in that most precious blood unlesse I seriously and faithfully repent mee of my sinnes Lord Is 56.3 though I may say with the Eunuch Behold I am a drie tree yet it is in thy power as well to draw water out of the dryest tree as the obdurate rockes O my God I desire to offer thee both mine eyes full of teares and a heart full of groanes If all that litle moisture which is left in my body could possibly be converted into one teare of timely and acceptable repentance even that teare ô God would I readily offer thee Lord I grieve in my very soule for the pollutions of my soule and am seriously and heartily offended at my selfe for offending thee Accept ô God the throbs of my fainting heart and be reconciled unto mee in the blood of thy sonne O Lord I sigh ô Lord I grieve My heart panteth my bowells yerne and my very soule languisheth and pineth to receave the assurance of thy favour I will lye at the poole of Bethesda as hee did who was diseased neere fortie yeeres Io. 5.5 I will lye at the gate of thy mercy ô Iesus and there will I weepe and grieve and lament and call and cry for mercy at thy hands ô blessed Redeemer and my petitions I will tender in all humilitie and devotion praying and saying The Prayer MErcifull Lord God Is 46.3 who didst promise to carrie the house of Iacob from the belly and the wombe vers 4. even to old age and hoary haires despise not the humble suite of thine aged and feeble servant My many yeeres I must confesse I have spent in vanitie and scarce one minuit of them have I devoted to thy service as I ought to have done Every day have I offended thee and every hower have I beene disobedient to thy lawes My child-hood hath beene full of folly my youth of stubbornesse my riper yeeres have beene apt to wantonnesse and mine old and aged dayes to coveteousnesse and impenitencie Thou mightest long since in thy justice have destroyed mee in my sinnes and have given mee a portion in the land of darknesse But now ô father since thou hast spared mee so long doe not condemne mee at the last Let the heavie heart and the trembling tongue and the shaking hands and the most sorrowfull soule of an humble convert find favour in thine eyes With thy mercy Iob. 4.4 Ps 35.3 Ps 39.4 ô Lord strengthen my weake hands support my feeble knees comfort my drooping heart and say unto my soule I am thy salvation Lord make mee to know mine end and the measure of my dayes that I may know how fraile I am vers 5. Ps 93.2 Ps 102.27 Ps 90.9 Mine age is nothing before thee for thou art from everlasting and thy yeeres shall not faile O be thou reconciled unto mee through the passion of my Redeemer for when thou art angry all our dayes are gone wee bring our yeeres to an end as a tale that is told Ps 71.9 O cast mee not off in this time of old age forsake mee not now my strength faileth mee Though the heavens Is 51.6 and the â—â—earth shall waxe old as doeth a garment and they that dwell therein shall dye yet thy salvation shall be for ever and thy righteousnesse shall not be abolished Ps 43.3 Ps 71.18 Ps 23.4 Ps 62.7 Prov. 23.22 O send out thy light and thy trueth to leade mee now I am old and gray headed ô my staffe and thou who art the onely rock of strength forsake mee not Thou hast commanded our children to hearken to their fathers that begat them and not to despise their mothers when they are old O my heavenly father doe thou make mee thy child by grace and adoption that I may hearken unto thee and never despise or forsake thy commandements Make mee allways remember thy workes ô Lord Ps 77.11 and call to mind thy wonders of old time Give mee grace to be in behaviour as becometh holinsse Tit 2.3 not given to the vices which commonly delude the ancient and decrepid but that I may be a teacher of the things that are good Peaceably ô my father Iob. 5.26 let mee come to my grave in a full age like as a shock of corne cometh in in his season By the course of nature I am ready to goe the way of all the earth
to submit with cheerefullnesse to this thy chastisement and to repent mee of my sinnes which brought this affliction Were it not just for mee to make my complaint in the bitternesse of my sorrowes thou wouldest not have commanded Zion to lament like a virgin girded with sack-cloth for the husband of her youth Thou Lam 1.8 ô Lord doest behould my sorrow and the griefe of my heart because thou hast taken from mee the desire of mine eyes Eze 24 16. and the joy of my heart Be pleased ô my God so to open the eyes of my soule and understanding that I may see as cleerely the cause of thy stroake as I am sensible of the losse of him that was my guide Though hee was sent to be the head of my body yet thou ô God didst offer thy selfe to be the husband of my soule but to my shame I must confesse that I followed the stepps of Samaria Eze 16 45. of Sodome and of Ierusalem and loathed thee my Lord and my husband justly therfore mightest thou say of mee as thou once didst speake of the church of the Iewes Hos 2.2 Shee is not my wife neither am I her husband But ô thou father of mercies for give my back-slidings and adde not affliction to affliction lest I faint under thy rod. Is 47.9 Spirituall widow-hood was a curse which once thou didst threaten unto Babylon ô let it not fall upon mee Allthough thou hast taken him that was my husband yet be pleased to betroth mee to thy selfe for ever Hos 2.19 Say unto mee Ruchama thou hast obtained mercy vers 16 vers 19 and let mee answer thee Baali and Ishi my Lord and my husband Betroath mee unto thee in righteousnesse and in judgment and in loving-kindnesse vers 20 and in mercyes and in faithfullnesse and make mee know thee to be my Lord. 2. Cor 11.2 Send a Paul to espouse mee to one husband that so I may be presented as a chast virgin unto Christ. Give mee grace to doe as once thou commandedst the widowes of Edom Ier 49.11 1. Tim 5.5 even to trust in thee Though now I am desolate yet make mee for ever to trust in thee my God and continue in supplications and prayers night and day Thus let my sorrow be sanctified and my trust and confidence reposed in thee that so I may serve thee with cheerefullnesse endure thy visitation with patience and in the end that I may goe to that place where I trust thou hast crowned my husband and where my Saviour is certainly gone before even to the Kingdome of happinesse and that through the merits and intercession of the same Iesus Christ my onely Lord and Saviour Amen subject 20 THE TWENTIETH SUBJECT A woman's teares at the funer all of her husband The Soliloquie THE EjACULATION Psal 5. vers 1. Give eare to my words ô Lord consider my meditation vers 2. Hearken unto the voyce of my cry my king and my God for unto thee will I pray WHen Sarah dyed in Kiriath-Arba Abraham stood up from before his deceased wife Gen 23 3. and spake unto the sonnes of Heth vers 4. saying I am a stranger and a sojourner with you give mee a possession and a burying place with you that I may bury my dead out of my fight Though hee so tenderly affected her whilest shee was living yet hee would not looke to long on her when shee was dead It is a duety as full of humanitie to interre with decency the bodies of the dead as it is of religion to love the persone when they are alive Yet vaine is man in this affection if hee fixeth his love onely on the beautie of the body This flesh which is so tender this skinne which I strive to preserve both smooth and white must one day be a banquet for the loathed wormes Noe greater priviledg belongeth to mee then did to my hushand for the time will come when I shall follow him to the earth Had I loved onely his outward forme my love should now either quite be forgotten or else I should fondly defire to deny it interment but it was his body enlivened with a rich and excellent soule which drew mine affection and commanded my desires Had that soule and body continued their societie I had beene freed from my laments but they have bid fare-well 'till the generall resurrection and hence am I enforced to utter my complaints I weepe for my losse because wee are divorced but ô what conflicts then can I imagine that hee had wheÌ„ hee was not onely to part from his indeared wife but likewise his soule was to leave this chillowed â—earth Oh for him for him for my losse of him doe I pay the tribute of these watering eyes Yet these teares must not flow in too greate aboundance lest by them I should seeme to envy his happinesse Even when his body shall be layed to sleepe in the grave if I mourne too much it will be justly suspected that too much I loved the worst of my husband His soule which was his best is now in perfection and may not be lamented his body which is the worse and grosser part of him is now to be committed to the earth whence it came Thither it must goe to that place I must commend it otherwise my former love may be turned into loathing and that which I esteemed when it was alive I shall be forced to abhorre if I keepe it from the grave O it grieveth mee each minuit that I thinke of my deerest it troubleth and perplexeth mee with disturbed thoughts when I consider how servently I loved him yet cannot enliven him But these are onely the fond conceptions of an erring phantisie and tell mee that I loved him more then I should or else now I would not grieve so much as I doe If my love to God be so greate as I pretend I shall thankfully acknowledg his love to the departed O let it never be said that my love was idolatrie in affecting him too much who is but dust and ashes But why sit I museing in these pensive thoughts when I should rather prepare for the buriall of the dead Have I taken a course for the place of his rest where his cold body may be layed to sleepe This is a duety which every age hath beene carefull to performe It was a greater argument of Iehojakim's furie against Vryah the Prophet Ier. 26.23 that hee cast his dead body into the graves of the common people then that hee slew him with the sword It hath allso beene a testimonie of God's revenge when hee suffered not the dead to have a decent interment Eccl 6.3 If a man beget an hundred children saith the Preacher and live many yeeres so that the dayes of his yeeres be many and his soule be not filled with good and allso that hee have noe buriall I say that an untimely birth is better then hee VVhen the
the wine and the other accustomed entertainments are given at each wee goe to the church for the consummation of each onely here is the difference that at the one wee rejoyce but at the other wee mourne Every guest that is willing to comply with the preâ—ent occasion must as well be sad at this as â—e merrie at the other Weepe wee may and weepe wee must especially my selfe who have â—ost my selfe But yet let mee take heede that I offend not in my teares lest that which is my duety be turned into a crime I must especially take heede that I erre not in the cause of these laments for if I griere at the happinesse of him that is departed I discover an envie rather then affection If I grieve for the losse which my selfe sustaineth I must take heede that I wrong not my confidence in God I may not offend in the number of my teares for if I weepe too much I may forfeit my hope or at least I may occasion those that behould mee to thinke that I doubt of the salvation of the dead Weepe I may and weepe I must but for feare lest I offend in these my teares in my earnest prayers I will begge that they may be sanctified To my God will I goe for his direction and assistance and in this storme of my teares I will shelter my selfe under his protection and humbly will I tender my petitions and say The Prayer O All-mighty and ever-living Lord God thou who knowest whereof wee are made Ps 103.14 and who remembrest that wee are but dust give mee grace I besiech thee to be thankfull unto thee for all thy mercies more particularly both for thy deliverance of my husband from the miseries of this life and for affording mee the meanes in peace to bring him to his longest home Lord so arme mee with patience in this time of affliction that I may not offend thee in my want or excesse of mourning Gen 3.19 Dust wee are and to dust wee shall returne From the earth wee came and to the earth wee must goe This way which thy servant must now be disposed of is the way wherein thou wilt one day leade mee allso to my rest O prepare mee for the time of my greate account Eccl 12 7. that so when my dust shall returne to the earth as it was my spirit may returne unto thee who didst give it Let his spectacle of mortality live in my memorie that so when I consider that the time will come that as naked as I came out of my mother's wombe Iob 1.21 so naked shall I thither returne againe I may wholly endeavour and seeke to be clothed with the righteousnesse of thy Sonne Rom 6 4. With him thou hast beene gratiously pleased that by baptisme I should be buried into death graunt allso good God that like as hee was raised up from the dead by the glory of thee the eternall Father even so I allso may walke in newnesse of life Make mee ever thinke upon death which will seize on mee judgment which will examine mee and hell which would devoure mee that heaven may receave mee Let this lifelesse carkeise put mee in mind of the malice of sinne which is the cause of death and of that sentence which immediatly followeth this death Thou seest ô Lord how unwilling I am to part from this frozen and earthie lumpe Thou knowest how deepe the departure of my joy doeth pierce and wound mine afflicted heart O be thou my comforter in this greatest sorrow Ps 119.96 that seeing now I see that all things doe certainly come to an end I may wholly endeavour to please thee alone who shalt never have end Is 50.3 O thou who cloathest the heavens with blacknesse and hast cloathed mee at this time who am but earth ashes with these mourning weedes graunt that by these I may be instructed to shunne the fraile and fading vanities of the earth and strive for that Kingdome which shall endure for ever Be pleased to speake peace to my troubled mind that so though nature hath power to enforce mee to weepe yet grace may prevaile to moderate my mourning Ps 106 9. Ps 104.9 O thou who diddest once rebuke the red sea that thy servants might passe through them as on drie land thou who hast set a bound to the seas that they may not passe over nor turne againe to cover the earth be pleased so to rebuke the waters of mine affliction and put such a bound to these my teares that they may not drowne this earth of my feeble body but may give place to confidence and comfort in thy mercy Ps 114.3 Iordane did yeeld to thy command was driven back so drive thou back the flood of my teares that they swell not above the bankes of moderation and hope Let the grave of the deceased put mee in mind of the tombe of my blessed Redeemer that so when I am bowed downe with sorrow at the buriall of this earth I may be raised with joy for the benefits of the resurrection of my Saviour Christ Hee hath plucked out the sting which sinne had formerly given unto death 1. Cor. 15.56 vers 57 ô let mee ever be thankfull unto thee my God who givest us victorie through Iesus Christ. Give mee an assured beliefe of the generall resurrection that when I grieve at the placing of this flesh in the grave I may rejoyce in the certaintie of his rising againe Ps 25.17 Though the troubles of my heart be now enlarged yet bring thou mee out of all my feares Ps 94.19 In the midst of the sorrowes which I have in my heart let thy comforts ô God refresh my soule Lord make mee dye to sinne and live by grace that when I shall put off this tabernacle of flesh I may dwell with thee in those eternall mansions of perfect happinesse through Iesus Christ my Lord and onely Saviour Amen subject 21 THE TWENTIE-FIRST SUBjECT Teares of a woman in the state of widow-hood The Soliloquie THE EjACULATION Psal 5. vers 1. Give eare to my words ô Lord consider my meditation vers 2. Hearken unto the voyce of my cry my king and my God for unto thee will I pray BEcause Ierusalem had forsaken the Lord was was gone backward Ier 15.6 vers 8. Therfore sayd my God their widowes are increased to mee above the sand of the seas vers 6. Hee who was wearie of repenting was not wearie of destroying and yet the judgments which fell upon the Iewes were easier to the stronger then to the weaker sexe The males had a period set to their earthly troubles when the sword devoured them but the poore females were left alive destitute both of the comfort and societie of their husbands Death is a judgment mixed often with mercy because it finisheth our earthly sufferances whereas a life that is lead in continued sorrowes is so much the more burdensome
ceremeniall law yea a Priest himselfe was allowed these acts so naturall and pious Though touching the Nazarites the command was strickt which the Lord delivered unto Moses Num. 6 1. vers 2. saying Say unto the children of Israel when either man or woman shall seperate themselves to vow a vow of a Nazarite to seperate themselves unto the Lord vers 6. all the dayes that hee seperateth himselfe unto the Lord hee shall come at noe dead body vers 7. hee shall not make himselfe un-cleane for his father or for his mother for his brother or for his sister when they dye because the consecration of his God is upon his head Yet whereas the law said Eze 44 25. The Priests shall come at noe dead person to defile themselves it ran with this exception But for father or for mother or for sonne or for daughter for brother or for sister that hath had noe husband they may defile themselves And againe concerning the common people the law provideth saying Num 19.16 Whosoever toucheth one that is slaine with the sword in the open fields or a dead bodie or a bone of a man or a grave shall be uncleane but the time of his un-cleanesse was to continue but seaven dayes That law hath now noe power to oblige us who are under the Gospel I may touch my dead parent and embrace him yea and kisse him at least in my thoughts when I cannot come to his body And so I will and if there remaine any un-cleanesse in my cogitations I will purifie I will wash it away with the bath of my teares Allthough my sorrowes cannot call him from the grave yet they have power both to discover mine affection and to satisfie my desires Heb 11 35. In ancient times women had their dead raised to life againe This indeede is too much for mee to expect yet it will not be too much for mee to mourne with those women who were afterward thus comforted But then I must be just in my mourning As my love may lawfully be shewed in my teares so must my religion be manifested in my moderation It was a curse upon the Iewes which the Prophet pronounced when hee said Men shall not teare themselves for them in mourning Ier. 16.7 to comfort them for the dead neither shall men give them the cupp of consolation to drinke for their father or for their mother I must not exceede the bounds of modestie in my cryes lamentations but I must drinke rather of the cupp of consolation and hearken to the advice and counsell of my comforters Nature indeede may be seene in a teare and heard in a sigh but if those teares be too many or those sighes too frequent or too lowde my very sorrowes may be sinfull for my want of patience Hee for whom I grieve is better then my selfe and his condition is full of joy and delight why then should I mourne too excessively as if hee were lost why should I grieve too immoderately as if I despaired of a father Hee is gone to a place where hee is freed from sorrowes and can dye noe more onely I am on earth in a valley of teares but I shall have a time to dye too and be gathered unto him In heaven saith Saint Iohn there shall be noe more death Reu. 21.4 neither sorrow nor crying neither shall there be any more paine for the former things are passed away My Redeemer saith that they which shall be accounted worthy to obtaine that world Luc. 20 35. the resurrection from the dead neither marrie nor are given in mariage neither can they dye any more vers 36 for they are equall unto the Angells and are the children of God being the children of the resurrection VVhy then should I lament for him who needeth not my sorrowes and my teares are but a fruitlesse disturbance of my selfe If I am troubled at the losse of a friend so deare I must rather labour to be beloved of my God who is so good I shall one day learne with holy Iob Iob. 17 14. to say to corruption Thou art my father and to the worme Thou art my mother and my sister There is yet something earthly therfore which I shall acknowledge a parent but I must take heede that nothing upon earth doeth make mee an idolater The house of Israel was once so sottish as to say to a stock Ier 2.27 Thou art my father to a stone Thou hast brought mee forth This were a stupid madnesse in mee if I should so dis-honour the memorie of my father as to make the timber succeede him in my reverence But more impious it would prove if I should reject my heavenly father and insteed of him I should honour as Israel did a stock or a stone The greater that my losse is in my deceased parent the more must be my obedience to the father of lights Iam. 1.17 Heb. 12 9. Hee who is and must be the father of my spirit did lend unto mee for a time the father of my flesh Hee hath allso taken from mee my naturall parent that my thoughts may be ever fixed upon him with whom hee dwelleth If my trust be in God my comforts will abound my sorrowes will decrease If my name be written among the righteous my share shall be equall to theirs in the protection of my God Hee hath ever beene mercifull to them that were fatherlesse so that they relyed on his providence and served him with faithfullnesse Ps 27.10 Ps 68.5 When my father and my mother forsake mee saith the Psalmist then the Lord will take mee up a father of the fatherlesse is God in his holy habitation O that I might have the honour to be his child that so I might justly call him father O that I could truely say unto him Thou art my father my God Ps 89.26 Is 63.16 Ier. 3.19 2. Cor. 6.18 and the rock of my salvation O that I could faithfully say Thou ô Lord art my father my Redeemer thy name is from ever-lasting O that I could call him my father and not turne away from him His mercies are greate his promises are full of comfort I will be a father unto you and yee shall be my sonnes and daughters saith the Lord All-mighty O what shall I doe that I may be sure to be adopted into the number of his children Alas as I am I have but litle hope of it for hee is pure but I am un-cleane but I will wash my selfe with my teares of repentance and beseech his Sonne to cleanse mee with his blood Hee is righteous but I am sinfull but I will confesse my wickednesse Ps 38.18 and be sorrie for my sinnes and then I am sure hee will aboundantly pardon Lord though I have beene thine enemie thou canst make mee thy friend though I have hated thee thou canst incline mee to love thee though I have beene rebellious thou
learne to depend upon God Some things wee thinke wee can certainly foresee consulting with reason about those causes and effects which are meerely naturall but yet wee often faile in our expectations either through the defect of reason or the indisposition and weakenesse of the second causes or else yea and most chiefely by the order of the Most High Yet some are so fond as to magnifie their reason and thereupon ground a necessitie of events not well considering that Allthough this reason obligeth men yet it tyeth not him who is farre above both reason and nature Some againe in their curiositie prying too neerely into things to come borrow their assistance from the Prince of the ayer accounting their knowledg an excellency not tyed to the lawes of religion Thus did that wicked King Ahazia but contrarie to his expectation hee receaved an answer from a Prophet of the Lord vers 6. for Elijah said unto him Thus saith the Lord Therfore thou shalt not come downe from that bed on which thou art gone up but shalt surely dye O what a dreadfull sentence was this Especially to him who sought to the Devill that lyer for his knowledg but receaved such an answer from God who could not deceave Thus am I gone up to my bed too as was that bruised King I am tormented with sicknesse and I languish in a disease O what shall I doe Faine mee thinks I would be certified how long I have to live faine I would live Ps 39.4 and yet I am not certaine of life I am not readie for death and yet I am heartily afraid that I shall find this death too readie for mee But why should I not dye Am I not disturbed with heates and colds with weakenesse and feeblenesse Am I not in a world that giveth noe content That can neither bound my desires nor yet afford what I seeke While I am here I am subject to miseries every moment When I shall be gone this faintnesse and weakenesse these troubles and perturbations shall forsake my weake and infirme body But what then When my body shall sleepe in the silent grave shall it continue there for ever Or shall the soule have a decay and yeald to corruption together with my body of clay and earth Noe noe nothing lesse The body shall indeede lye downe in the dust but yet it shall one day be summoned to rise againe but the soule is eternall it shall continue for ever For ever it shall rest in continuall peace or for ever it shall be tormented in ever-lasting flames Noe merveile then ô my sorrowfull soule that thou art unwilling to leave this tabernacle of flesh since thou knowest not whither thou shalt flye at thy departure But why should not I as well hope for felicitie as dread those torments when my life shall end Doe I aske Why The reason is too plaine What good can I expect from the hands of him whom I have never loved whom I have never obeyed Those whom hee crowneth with heavenly blisse are they who sought for it in a miserable life But I have so lived upon earth as if earth should continue and I have made choyce of this world for the seate of my happinesse But now alas to my woe I find that earth can neither afford any true content nor yet a continuance of that which I accounted good What now shall I doe O whither shall I betake my selfe that I may be partaker of those joyes which are the inheritance of the godly Num. 23.10 Faine I would dye the death of the righteous and I wish that my last end might be like unto his But is this a desire easie to be graunted Alas had I lived the life of the righteous I might then have beene sure I should have dyed the death of them But that ô that is it which pricketh mee at the heart I have lived in sensualitie and this evill day hath beene out of my remembrance so that I cannot comfort my selfe with the smallest hope of what I so eagerly covet But what then Is there noe remedie at all but that I must have the bitter portion with the damned in hell God forbid Hee who hath forborne mee so long when I went on in my wickednesse may yet if hee please afford mee his mercy It is not above his power nor will it eclipse his glory It was once his free promise to a thiefe even dying upon the crosse Lu 23.43 2. Cor. 1.20 This day shalt thou be with mee in paradise His promises allso are sure they are in him yea and in him Amen I doubt not therfore but his mercy was as greate as his word was sure Thus hee saved one which forbiddeth mee despairing yet it was but one which forbiddeth mee presuming But surely it can be noe presumption to build upon his goodnesse Hee delighteth not in the death of a sinner What good can the condemning of mee doe either to him or his creatures True it is that his justice maybe magnified by it but yet it will adde noe glory to his mercy Againe there are but a few in heaven to sing forth his praises but infinite millions in hell and destruction dishonour him in their blasphemies In heaven mee think's there is one too few untill I shall come thither to adde to the number In hell mee think's there would be one too many if I should be throwne into that gulfe of perdition O my God since thou hast vouchsafed mee the knowledg of a heaven yea and of thee the Lord of heaven and earth allthough my knowledg be imperfect thou art offended yet for the merits of thy Sonne be pleased to make mee a cittizen of heaven Rev 21 27. It is most true that there shall in noe wise enter into that place any thing that defileth neither whatsoëver worketh abomination or maketh a lye but they onely which are written in the Lamb's booke of life Upon these termes my hopes indeede doe languish and grow more faint then my feeble body But who is that which condemneth the wicked Is it not hee who likewise calleth the wicked and inviteth them to mercy Is it not hee who telleth mee by his Prophet and saith it himselfe Eze 18 21. If the wicked will turne from all his sinnes that hee hath committed and keepe all my statutes Vers 22 doe that which is lawfull and right hee shall surely live hee shall not dye All his transgressions that hee hath committed they shall not be mentioned unto him vers 23 Have I any pleasure at all that the wicked should dye Saith the Lord God and not that hee should returne from his wayes and live O who is more wicked then I Who more sinfull then I My life hath beene nothing but a continued rebellion and my time hath beene wasted in nothing but disobedience Yet while I have life I have hope If I can but know mine iniquities and get a sorrowfull spirit for them
out all the land every man's sword is against his brother the Lord pleadeth against us with blood vers 22 vers 18 and with fire and with brimstone His fury is upon his face vers 19 and a great shaking is in our land The covers of our souldiers are iron their weopons are iron and their hearts are allso iron so hard are their hearts that they kill without remorse and they pillage and plunder without pitty or commiseration The baggs that swelled with unjust gaine and moneys purchased by extortion fraud now wonder at their owne emptinesse and in their shrivell'd and pursed cheekes seeme to mourne for their falling away Eccles 5.16 This is a sore evill that in all points as the deceaver came so shall hee goe and what profit hath hee that hath laboured for the wind The plunderers suck downe his swollen purse and leave nothing but a be and naked skinne and by a new law of gaâ—… they teach by the way of violence how toâ— in an hower as much as hee in his age câ—…scrape up by falshood And when hee looker with an heavy and wish-full eye upon his departing moneys never to be re-called â— deepe sigh tell 's him 't is well that some meâ—nes are found to awaken his conscience So hee spends his drooping dayes in wishing that hee were as innocent as many that are 〈◊〉 poore and it may be that by the losse of his coyne hee gaines some religion Those againe whose honest care and thriftie labours had beene so blessed that their moneys had increased yea even by diminishing and had multiplied for their charity finding now the uncertainty of what the world falsely account's a treasure part with their money with as deepe but not a coveteous sigh anâ— that out of a consideration that the emptinesse of their coffers will be burdensome one day to their new but fellonious possessours They grieve that rapine should be more powerfull then innocency yet content themselves with the certaine assurance of treasures in heaven The surly robber in the interim with a crustie conscience rejoyceth at the purchase of his owne destruction and to shew that hee hath as litle care of his issue as he hath of his soule consume's in riott what his children may beg for The lowest spoake is now come to be the highest in the wheele and that which was the uppermost is turned to the ground The â—rich are become poore and those who formerly were of a low esteeme now pride it in the feathers of other birds Solomons observations is come to passe in our dayes Eccles 10.6 vers 7. the rich sit in low place yea and wee see servants upon horses and princes walking as servants upon the earth Ier 12.12 The spoilers are come upon all high places for the sword of the Lord doth devoure from the one end of the land even to the other end of the land noe flesh hath peace Wee sowe wheate vers 13 but wee reape thornes wee put our selves to paine but noe profit come's of it and wee are even ashamed of our revenues because of the fierce anger of the Lord. Our bloody victories are mixed both with joy and sorrow for even our very conquests tryumphs are mournfull The more wee slay the fewer kindred and friends and acquaintance are left us and much of that blood which wee draw from others is part of that which runneth in our owne veines Iacob and Esau brethren of the same wombe contend for the birth-right and many a man strive's to supplant to surprise to destroy his kinsman his brother yea and his owne father Our tongues are become prisoners and are kept close under the roofes of our mouths and within the grates of our teeth yea and that in the compaâ—… them who are or should be deerest unto and all for feare of trecherie and discover The prudent are enforced to keepe silence because is an evill time Amos. 13. Mic 8.5 Wee dare not trust a friend 〈◊〉 put confidence in a guide wee keepe 〈◊〉 doores of our mouths from them that lies our bosomes vers 6. The sonne dishonoureth the fathâ—… the daughter riseth up against her mother and the daughter in law against her mother in law Brother delivereth up brother to death Mat 10 21. and the father the child and the children rise up against their parents and cause them to be put to death Five in one house are divided Luc 12 52. vers 53 three against two and two against three The father is divided against the Sonne and the sonne against the father the mother against the daughter aâ— the daughter against the mother the mothâ—… in law against the daughter in law and the daughter in law against her mother in law and a man's foes are those of his owne household Mat. 10 36. Mal. 4.6 The Lord God of heaven amend these wicked times and turne the hearts of the fathers to the children and the hearts of the children to the fathers Ps 69.22 Is 29.21 Ier 48.43 vers 44 Our very tables become snares before us and that which should have beene for our well-fare is become a trap A man is made an offender for a word and a snare is layd for him that reproveth in the gate Feare and the pit and the snare are upon us hee that fleeth from the feare falleth into the pit and â—…e that getteth up out of the pit is taken in the â—…are the yeeres of our visitation are upon 〈◊〉 The spoiler is come upon every city vers 8. and noe â—…ty escaped the vallies allso perish and the â—aines are destroyed c 15.7 The Lord doeth fanne 〈◊〉 with a fanne in the gates of our land hee â—…th bereave us of our children hee doth destroy â—s people because wee returne not from our wayes Our widowes are increased to us above the sand â—f the seas vers 8. the Spoyler at noone day is brought â—pon us Shee that hath borne seaven languisheth vers 9. â—hee hath given up the ghost her sunne is gone downe while it was yet day and the residue of â—…s are delivered to the sword before our enemies c 6.26 O that wee would gird our selves with sackcloth and wallow our selves in ashes and make our selves mourning as for an onely sonne most bitter lamentation for the spoiler suddenly cometh upon us Isa 21.2 Ier 48.10 The treacherous dealer dealeth treacherously and the spoiler spoileth Yea and the word is given out among us Cursed be hee that keepeth back his sword from blood and yet few of us doe consider that the Lord God of recompences shall surely requite c 51.56 Amos. 5.18 Woe unto them that desired this day of the Lord. To what end is it for them Alasse the day of the Lord is darknesse and not light vers 19 As if a man did flee from a lion and a beare mett him in the way or went into the house
and leaned his hand on the wall and a serpent bitt him Wayling is in all our streetes vers 16 and wee sayâ— all the high wayes Alasse Alasse Wâ— call the husbandman to mourning and such are skillfull of lamentation to wailing vers 17 â—… all vineyards is wayling for the Lord doth pâ—… thorow us O that now at last wee wouâ— seriously lay this to our hearts vers 14 and seeh good and not evill that wee may live and so the Lord the God of hosts may be with us O that wee would once hate the evill vers 15 and love the good and establish judgment in the gate It may be that the Lord of hosts would be gracious unto the remnant of Ioseph But while wee remaine in our rebellions wee must looke to lye downe in our miseries as at this day Ps 79.2 The dead bodies of the servants of the most high are given to be meate unto the fowles of the heaven and the flesh of his saints unto the beasts of the earth vers 3. Their blood is shed like water round about the Kingdome and there are none to bury them Wee are become a reproach to our neighbours vers 4. a scorne and derision to them that are round about us vers 5. How long Lord wilt thou be angry for ever vers 8. Shall thy jealousie burne like fire O remember not against us our former iniquities let thy tender mercies speedily prevent us for wee are brought very love vers 9. Helpe us ô God of our salvation for the glory of thy name O deliver us Ps 125 3. and purge away our sinns for thy name's sake O let not the rod of the wicked 〈◊〉 upon the lot of the righteous lest the righteous 〈◊〉 forth their hands to iniquity Oh how our â—eres doe enforce us to flee to save our lives Ier 48.6 Prov 28.1 Gen 19 22. â—…ke us like the heath in the wildernesse â—…e sometimes flee when none pursueth us â—hen Sodome was destroyed Lot had a Zoar 〈◊〉 flee unto when Ierusalem was layed wast â—…ne of the inhabitants had a Pella to escape â—…to O that I now had wings like a dove Ps 55.6 〈◊〉 then would I flee away too and be at â—…st Lo then would I wander far off vers 7. and â—…maine in the wildernesse Ioel 2.11 for the day of the â—ord is greate and very verrible and who can â—ide it Hee is the true God Ier. 10.10 hee is the liâ—ing God and an everlasting King at his â—rath the earth doth tremble and the nation 〈◊〉 not able to abide his indignation Ye â—hat doe I talke of fleeing and wish for the â—vings of a dove that I might flee Alasse whither would I flee Can the mountaines â—…r the hills cover mee from the all-seeing Lord of hosts Ps 139.7 Whither shall I goe from his spirit or whither shall I flee from his presence If I ascend up to heaven hee is there If I make my bed in hell behold he is there allso vers 8. vers 9. vers 10 If I take the wings of the morning and dwell in the uttermost parts of the sea even there shall his hand leade mee and his right hand shall hold mee If I say vers 11 surely the darknesse shall cover mee even the night shall be light about mee Yea vers 12 the darknesse hideth not from him but the night shineth as the day the dâ—…nesse and the light to him are both alike Wâ—… then shall I yet doe Abide his wrath I cannot endure these troubles vexatioâ—… and impoverishings and heart-breakings aâ—… soule-bleeding perturbations any longer I cannot and yet whither to goe or flee to shun and avoyd them I know not Well I am yet resolved what I will doe Yes 't is my onely way and doe it I must I will Since I cannot flee from God I will flee to God And yet I will flee from him from his wrath from his anger from his displeasure and for all that I will flee to him allso and to none but him to his mercy to his promises to his tender compassions which never faile I have displeased him with my sinns but I will displease my selfe for thus displeasing my kind my good my loving God I have moved the holy one of Israel to anger by mine iniquities But I will be angry with my selfe for moving him in whom I live Act 17 28. and move and have my being I will come unto him with teares mee thinks mine eyes already begin to water and I will cry unto him Iob. 34.28 Ps 65.2 for hee heareth the cry of the afflicted and I will pray unto him for hee is a god that heareth prayer and I will sigh unto him for he caused a marke to be set upon the fore-heads of those in Ierusalem who did sigh and cry for all the abominations which were done in the midst Ez 9.4 thereof Oh who can forbeare a shewer of teares that is but the least sensible of the stormes of our calamities Iud. 5.15 Who can choose but have greate thoughts of heart for these divisions of Reuben For my part surely my heart is not all stone some part of it at least is flesh and therefore it must needs be sensible both of the generall sufferances and of my particuler miserable condition Our Chirurgians have a stone composed by art which they call the infernall stone with which they stupifie and make dead the flesh where they intend to make an orifice for a fountenell or issue From my heart should issue a fountaine of sorrow for the cause of my God's displeasure and yet I am afraid mee thinks to have the orifice made I would be content to grieve but mee thinks I would not have it painfull I would doe it at cheape rates O but I must both grieve and I must be pained too yea I must be cut to the heart yet not as were the high Priest and the Counsell Act. 5.29 when Peter and Iohn tould them that they ought to obey God rather then men where upon they were cut to the heart and tooke counsell to slay them vers 33 c. 7.54 nor as they were cut to the heart when they gnashed with their teeth upon Stephen but I must howsoever be cut or at least I must be pricked at the heart as were Peter's converts c 2.37 when they said unto him and to the rest of the Apostles Men and brethren what shall wee doe Oh but I am afraid that I shall not be sensible enough for I feare that I have an infernall stone lying upon my heart which the devill layeth there purposely that I may not be sensible Well if thus it be I shall find it by the working by the tingling I am sure that God now doth a Thing in our Israel 1. Sam. 3.11 at which both the eares of every one that heareth
vers 1. Give eare to my words ô Lord consider my meditation vers 2. Hearken unto the voice of my cry my king and my God for unto thee will I pray WHen all wept Luc 8.52 and bewayled the litle daughter of Iairus my Iesus forbad their teares saying Shee is not dead but sleepeth O sweete comfort to the lamenting mother whose onely daughter should returne from the dead Shee that had shed the teares of sorrow for the losse of her joy was then to shed teares of joy for the recoverie of the deceased But I weepe and weepe Lam 1.2 and continually weepe the teares are on my cheekes for my child is dead I have noe hope of receaving him againe to life I alas am not the wife of a ruler of the temple I have noe Iesus here in the flesh to worke such a miracle for mee My poore child is dead and hopelesse and helplesse as I am there is noe recovering there is noe recalling him Yet stay howsoever I will call I will cry mee think's hee should not be dead who knoweth but my sweete babe may heare mee Who knoweth but my Redeemer may awake him againe The daughter of Iairus was dead to her parents but shee was not dead to the Messias Hee who will one day awake the dead and rowze them from the graves can now if hee pleaseth speake as powerfully to my babe My Saviour can for hee himselfe is neither dead nor sleepeth True it is that once hee dyed yea hee dyed for mee and so for mine infant too but hee rose againe and from thence-forth can die noe more Rom 6 9. death hath noe more dominion over him This living Saviour of mine may if hee please restore my dead child I will call him peradventure hee may awake Sonne ô my sonne my child my love my joy my dearest infant where art thou Where strayest thou Whither wanderest thou Returne returne litle Saint and cheere up the drooping spirits of thy fainting mother What noe answer Noe speech Not so much as a groane or a sigh Will this frozen clod of earth be noe more â—he carkenet of his immortall soule Oh hee s fled hee 's gone hee 's past re-call alas what shall I doe Is this the blessing of the womb â—o enjoy a child for a yeere or two and then â—o have it hasten to the womb of the earth Is this the joy the delight that women have in the fruit of their bodies Gen 3.16 onely to conceave in sorrow to travell in anguish and when they are delivered after a yeare or two to be bereft of them in a moment Could not thousands of kisses and dandlings and dauncings nay could not sckreeches and groanes and cryes call back my child Alas noe I see they could not all was in â—aine Hee who called Lazarus from the grave hath called my litle one to the grave His soule is with him and nothing now but his body is left with mee From him I would not pluck him mee think's if I might for hee 's at peace with him From mee mee thinks I would not have had him call him for hee knoweth how I loved him and yet his will not mine must be fullfilled O that I could so rest satisfied with the rest of my sweete infant But why doe I onely wish so I must likewise practise it Act. 5.29 lest happily as Gamaliel sayd unto the Iewes I be found even to fight against God I will therfore resolve with David and say 2 Sam. 12.23 Now hee is dead wherfore should I fast Can I bring him back againe I shall goe to him but hee shall not returne to mee I shall goe when hee who keepeth my child in his armes shall be pleased so to embrace mee likewise and to seate mee in his Kingdome by my dearest child Why then should I enuy my litle one the joyes of eternitie If I weepe too much I may discover a discontent at his highest preferement If I truely loved him I shall never enuy him allthough I shall desire that to those heavenly mansions I may certainly follow him Young hee was while mine hee was very young tender weake and yet as young as hee was hee now is suddenly growne older then my selfe hee is my better hee is my senior and hath gotten before mee into glory Yea and his passage thither was fayre and gentle too if I consider his sinnes which hee suffered for onely in his sicknesse His rich soule espied a crevise a chinke a flaw in his muddie earth made by his disease and so escaped flew away even with the wings of that dove that blessed Spirit Ps 55.6 which David panted for and wished for and cryed for saying O that I had the wings of a dove Gen. 7.1 King 13.24 2. King 2.24 Num 21 6. Gen 19 24. for then would I flee away and be at rest Had my child beene drowned as was the ould world or torne in pieces by Lyons as was the disobedient Prophet or by Beares as were the fortie and two children that mocked Elisha or stung with Serpents as were the murmuring Israëlites or burnt with fire and brimstone as were Sodome and Gomorrha or swallowed up quick by the yawning num 16.33 act 12 23. gaping devouring earth as were Corah Dathan and Abiram or had hee beene smitten by the Angel of God and eaten up of wormes of vermine as was Herod Agrippa then my griefe indeede might have beene increased my sorrowes might have beene multiplyed yet at length if it had beene so I ought to have beene contented at length if I belong unto him to whom my child is gone I must have taken up the resolution of patient of holy of devout Iob and have sayd The Lord gave Iob. 1.21 and the Lord hath taken away blessed be the name of the Lord. But my God hath beene more mercifull both to mee and mine for hee made much of my child and finding him a litle froward a litle wayward a litle unquiet hee gently layed him downe to sleepe Hee sent a gentle disease to rock him to sing him to sleepe And seing that hee thus gently thus securely sleepe's in God even in that God who never sleepeth surely whilest I awake I will sing and give praise My glory shall awake Ps 57.8 my Lute and Harpe shall awake all my joyes all my pleasures all my contents shall awake and praise him and magnifie him for ever And yet for all this my resolution for all my serious purpose thus to doe I find that in my musick I stop upon a fret That sudden sigh stole from my heart unawares It may be that it was ashamed to stay there and so slanke away What another Nay this is too much King Solomon telleth mee that there is a time to weepe Ecc 3.4 but hee doeth not tell mee that that time must continue so long as I continue here upon earth What though I am a traveller I
must some-times rest What though I am an exul a stranger a sojourner here as all my fathers were I must have a lodging I must have a chamber I must have a roome and in that roome and in that chamber I may I must have some rest Yea and I must have some delight in it too and that not onâ—e alone but continually for so I am commanded by the Apostle Phil 4.4 who saith Rejoyce in the Lord allways and againe I say rejoyce Diverse indeede for diverse causes have wept but they have not allways wept Gen 27.38 Esau lifted up his voyce and wept but it was for the losse of his father's blessing The Elders of Ephesus wept Act 20 38. 2. Chr 35 25. yea they all wept sore but it was sorrowing most of all for the words that Paul had spoken unto them that they should see his face noe more A mourning I reade of that was in Hadadrimmon in the valley of Megiddo when Ieremiah lamented and all the singing men and the singing women spake of their King in their lamentations and made them an ordinance in Israel That was for Iosiah who was slaine by the armie of Pharaoh Necho in the valley of Megiddo In Ramah was a voyce heard Ier 31.15 lamentation and bitter weeping Rachel weeping for her children because they were not This mee thinks come's home close neere to mee This was for the captivitie of Iudah and Benjamin or it was for the infants slaine by that bloody that presecuting Herod Here are children lamented so farre the cause of the weeping complyeth with mine But neither is my child slaine by a murderer nor yet is hee lead into captivity Noe Eph 4.8 hee who did leade captivitie captive hath freed my sonne from the fetters Rom 8 21. from the bondage of corruption into the glorious liberty of â—he sonnes of God My child was not slaine as were all the children that were in Bethlehem and in all the coasts thereof Mat 2.16 from two yeares ould and under Noe Hee who was slaine for him hath saved him Hee who hath swallowed up death in victory Is 25.8 Hos 13 14. hath ransomed him from the power of the grave and redeemed him from death Lord though I am a weake though a sinfull woman make mee for ever to praise thee for this thy goodnesse Ps 107 8. and to declare the wonders that thou hast done both for mee and mine When the woman of Samaria came to draw water at Iacob's well my bountifull Iesus freely gave her to drike of the living water Io 4.14 which became in her a well of water springing up into ever-lasting life I am such a woman as shee was mine eyes have resembled the mouth of Iacob's well and though the well be deepe even deepe as my heart yet some-thing I have had to draw the water with My child mine infant hath drawne and drawne untill I am even allmost drawne drie And in this agonie and in this distresse my Christ hath come to cleanse my well to sanctifie my teares and to ease mee of my griefe 1. King 3.26 My bowells indeede did yearne upon my child as that woman 's did whose issue should have beene divided for the satisfaction of the harlot My child is divided though hers were spared The better part of him the soule is gone it is gone to God for his it is it is his owne share nothing but the earth of him remaineth with mee But I will I must be thankfull and though I find a reluctance in my chillowed heart yet the Prophet forbiddeth weeping for the dead Ier 22.10 and bemoaning of them Let mee begge for patience for submission for content and say The Prayer BLessed Lord God Ps 68.20 unto whom belong the issues from death vouchsafe to heare the cry of thy mourning hand-mayd Thou wert pleased once to blesse mee with increase and to make mee a joyfull mother of my now dead infant But oh that that very child which was framed and fashioned by thee is now come unto thee The first that sinned was a woman tempted by the Serpent Gen. 3.13 and that Serpent in his temptation stung so deepe that it hath reached now even to the fruit of my wombe for the sinnes of my selfe Yet Lord looke downe in mercy upon mee though a sinfull woman though the most unworthy of my sexe Mat. 15.28 even farre inferiour to that woman of Canaan for herfaith was greate but I alas have noe faith at all or but a weake one or but a dead one otherwise the promises of my Redeemer would controul my passion and the assurance of his mercies would dry up my teares Thou ô Lord hast freed mine infant from the burden of the flesh yet I goe heavily for it as if it were lost in my despaire Thou hast crowned it with immortalitie and yet my passion declareth that I mourne as if it were lost Ps 38.9 O Lord God thou knowest all my desires and my groaning is not hid from thee Thou seest how my teares doe flow through mine infirmitie thou hearest my sighs which arise from my dis-content I confesse it I am sorrowfull for it I am ashamed of it Act. 7.60 Lord lay not this sinne to my charge Thou hast taken nothing but thine owne O be pleased so to make mee thine owne by grace and then shall I be assured in thine owne due time to be receaved into glory Allay the heate of my passion by the pleasant gales of thy refreshing Spirit Graunt that my teares may be kept for my sinnes my sad laments for my deplorable condition through my many offences My heart is heavy for the losse of my child ô Lord lighten it ô Lord ease and comfort it with thy heavenly grace Ps 94.19 In the multitude of sorrowes which I have in my heart let thy comforts ô Lord refresh my soule My child thou knowest was deare unto mee because it was thy pleasure to lend him unto mee Hee was and hee is deere unto thee and thou hast expressed thy love in delivering him fron the evill 1. Thes 1.10 2. Tim 2.11 from the wrath to come Hee is deal in Christ Lord let mee be dead with Christ that I may allso live with Christ My child is dead because hee was sinfull but his uttermost farthing was discharged by Christ O thou who art rich in mercy Eph 2.4 for the greate love wherewith thou hast loved man-kind graunt that I may not dye in sinne but to it that so I may be quickened together with thy Sonne Make mee to yeeld my selfe unto thee Rom 6 13. as those that are alive from the dead and my members as instruments of righteousnesse unto thee my God Forgive my excesse of love to him that is gone my excesse of teares and sighs that have beene caused by his departure my want of patience and submission to thy holy pleasure and