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A27955
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The batchelor's directory being a treatise of the excellence of marriage, of its necessity, and the means to live happy in it : together with an apology for the women against the calumnies of the men.
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1694
(1694)
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Wing B260; ESTC R16542
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89,843
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268
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it if it was capable of prâ—ducing this fruit What better râ—ward could I desire for the pains has cost me Some persons nevertheless haâ— been willing to persuade me that would be unjust to confine its whâ— effect to the conquest of one singâ— Man and that it might by runniâ— through the world gain several â—thers to the Empire of Hymeâ— Thus I was subdued to the solicitations of making it publick which have been made to me from divers places God grant that I may have no occasion to repent of it nor to apply to my Book what Ovid says with lamentation of some of his Writings Hei mihi quam paucos hac mea dicta movent Be indulgent Reader and forget not the saying of the ancient Sages That 't is easy to find fault but hard to excell Of the Parts of this BOOK PART I. Of the Excellence of Marriage pag 8. PART II. Of the Infamy of Incontinence pag. 60. PART III. Of the Motives that might reasonanably induce men to Marry pag. 83. PART IV. Where those objections which are made against Marriage and the false reasons that are alledged to rest unmarried are answered pag. 163. PART V. Of the means to Marry well and to live happy in Marriage pag. 215. ADVERTISEMENT MIscellanious Letter and Essays on several Subjects Philosophical Moral Historicaâ— Critical Amorous c. 〈◊〉 Prose and Verse Directed tâ— John Drayden Esq the Honorable George Granvill Esq Walter Moile Esq Mr. Dennis Mr. Congreve and otheâ— Eminent Men of the Age. B◠〈◊〉 al Gentlemen and Ladies â—ed for Benjamen Bragg â—e White-Heart over againsâ— â—r-Lane in Fleet-street Of the Excellency of Marriage of its Necessity and the means to live happily in it Together with the Apology of the Women against the Calumnies of the Men. THERE never was a bolder undertaking than that of this Book It s design is to establish an opinion which all Men oppose and to disengage them from an Error which is almost as ancient as the World We say every day a thousand injurious things of Marriage One would have it to be the Sepulchre of Pleasures Another looks upon it as a severe Bondage Even those who speak of it with most moderation cease not to term it a necessary Evil. Behold the error I design to confute On the otherside that Marriage is an excellent thing a happy condition and a Society full of sweetness is what exceeds belief It is even ridiculed and it is notwithstanding the truth which I propose my self to persuade Judge Sir what courage is necessary and what strong assurance one must have in the justice of his Cause to be able to prevent a repulse at the entrance of an attempt thaâ— is apparently so difficult Is it not here onâ— may truly affirm Hoc opus hic labor est You know that in effect nothing is more cried down in the World than Marriage People frame to themselves Ideas of it which cause an abhorrence I confess likewise thaâ— it has long served for a subject of detraction Where is he that has no merry Tale to relate of it or to speak better that has no iâ— reason to alledge in order to discourage others and to remove himself from it How acceptable is this Dilemma of the Philosopher those persons If thou Marryest I supposâ— thy Wife to be either handsome or ugly If she be ugly thou canst never love her if handsome thou wilt be jealous of her Whether one or t'other can one find ouâ— a severer punishment for thee How agreeable do they find this precept of another When thou art young say that it is too soon to Marry when old that it is too late How this comparison of Theodectes pleaseâ— them Marriage and Old-Age have this Resemblance to wit that Men equally desire to reach both where they are no sooner arrived but they begin to repent In a word with how much satisfaction do they hear that horrid invective of the most unjust of all men One passes but two good days with a Wife the Wedding-day and the day of her Death She is also good but in two places Vel in Thalamo vel in Tumulo either in her Bridal Bed or in her Grave As little equity as one may have can one observe without passion such vilifying of that fair half of Human-kind to whom it seems as if Nature had given all her Graces in possession The very Gods of our Metamorphosis have been affected with them They have often preferred the pleasure of being captivated under the Empire of our Mortal Goddesses before all the glory of Olympus Is it not surprizing after this that Men should affirm so much ill of them and that they should oppress their innocence with their injuries The contempt which they make of them ought to appear to us so much the more extraordinary as they cannot without them enjoy any satisfaction in life They might in some measure be able to make a shift without us buâ— we could neâ—eâ— excuse our selves from then If one believes Herodotus there was Kingdom of Women withouâ— Men The Amasons but there never was seâ— a Kingdom of Men withoâ—â— Women Even those who are insolent enough tâ— blame their defects in publick are often amorous enough to adore their Charms iâ— private witness he of whom one speakâ— That ridebat in choro amabat in thoro This false prejudice of the Men againâ— the Women is that which discourage them so much from Marriage and whaâ— ought likewise to make me despair of thâ— happy success of my undertaking if it waâ— not the most reasonable of the world But Sir my cause supports it self It is noâ— a particular one and of little consequence As much abandon'd as it is notwithstanding the most general and important causâ— that ever was since it is at the samâ— time the cause of God and Man of Heaven and Earth of Nature anâ— Grace of States and Families of the Church Militant and Church Triumphant May not one affirm in effect thaâ— all these different Subjects have an interest equally sensible in Marriage Is it not the ordinary Channel to give Chosen Vessels to God Faithfull ones tâ— the Church Members to the State Children to Families and to people Heaven and Earth with inhabitants What would become of the World without Marriage What would become of all Human-kind 'T is certain that it would soon be at an end and with it all our Interests This consideration animates my Courage and makes me even hope that in spight of the infatuation of Men and their bloudy Criticks against Marriage God will enable me to support its sacred rights and to convince them that in the bottom this of all conditions of life is most agreeable to them As to what remains I cannot make the Apology of Marriage without making that of this lovely Sex for whom all sensible men ought to have a veneration since by relation to Marriage it self it is the soundest and most considerable part I was
vertue from 〈◊〉 insults and violence After all this should one admire â—â—t in all well regulated States such â—â—â—â—nite care has been taken to cause aâ— exact observation of Marriage â—s it a wonder that in the Republick of Lycurgus the haters of it should 〈◊〉 excluded from publick sports Speâ—â—â—cles and entertainments Can one 〈◊〉 surprised that in the Commonâ—â—alth of Plato Batchelors of 35 â—â—â—rs were accounted infamous In 〈◊〉 â—ord it is miraculous that in all â—es and even amongst the barbaâ—â—â—s Nations a particular deference 〈◊〉 been payed to married men and â—â—â—t Marriage has been much more â—â—eemed than Celibacy It is Sir 〈◊〉 foundation of the world and the â—â—â—xhaustable source of Families 'T is â—â—â—t which gives Citizens to Cities â—â—â—abitants to Provinces and Subjects 〈◊〉 Kingdoms 'T is that which afâ—â—â—ds Kings to People and People to Kings 'T is that which furniâ— the Country with Labourers the Tâ—bunals with Judges the Churches wâ— Preachers and the Armies with Soâ—diers 'T is that which has produâ— Heroes on Earth and Gods in Hâ—ven Poets have married Gods 〈◊〉 well as Men. Saturne had his Cebâ— and Jupiter his Juno both which hâ— been Mothers of several of those fâ— Divinities which Pagan antiquity fâ—merly adored In a word 't is Mâ—riage that gives life to Arts and Sâ—ences That keeps up Traffick Tâ— maintains Societies and to whicâ— owing the greatest part of those whâ— some Laws and prudent Disciplinâ— without which the world would 〈◊〉 but a Cavern of Thieves Can it 〈◊〉 too much esteemed after this Aâ— needs there any more to prove tâ— nothing is better or more excâ—lent if you except a real conâ—nence Yes Sir there is required morâ— for one may make appear that it such in a manner yet more convâ—cingly You will be satisfied of 〈◊〉 if you consider it with me Fiâ— â—he bond of the most perfect most â—et and most wholsome of all huâ—â—e conjunctions And Secondly 〈◊〉 â—he exercise of the most lawful â—â—st agreeable and most absolute auâ—â—â—rity of the world Nothing unquestionably is more â—â—â—fect than this union in respect 〈◊〉 its subject to its end and to its â—â—nner Marriage unites Man and â—oman that is to say what there 〈◊〉 of most excellent and most perfect 〈◊〉 the corporeal nature what resemâ—â—â—s â—s in it self all the Beautys of this â—â—eat Universe what alone is of â—â—re value than all the other Creaâ—â—es together In fine what by the â—â—derstanding and reason with which 〈◊〉 is endowed to the exclusion of 〈◊〉 other Creatures has merited â—â—e glorious name of the Image of â—od What do you imagine to be the â—â—st part of this subject It is a â—elestial Soul It is an immortal â—pirit an angelical and immaterial â—â—bstance It is a being that partakes 〈◊〉 some sort of that of God himself â—eneca goes yet further When he considers its excellency he will havâ— it to be God himself who that aâ— I may say is come to lodge withiâ— our bodies Quid aliud voces animan nisi Deum in humano corpore hospitem Sen. Ep. 32. 'T is thaâ— makes St. Austin say 〈◊〉 That after God nothing is betteâ— than the Soul Anima post Deum nihil melius As to the Body which is the other part that Marriage unites it the Man and woman we may affirm that as miserable as it is in relation to its substance and to the various accidents to which it is subject it is notwithstanding the most perfect and most excellent work of Nature in respect of its composition which as the Psalmist so ellegantly asserts is all embroadery of its aim which is to serve as an organ to the Soul and to be as it were its Ornament Corpus est vestimentum animae says St. Chrysostom The Body is the Garment of the Soul and in a word of its use which is to be imployed in the most noble most necessary and most important actions of life Behold then the first perfection of â—â—raiage viz. That it unites Boâ—â—â—s and Souls that it joynes togeâ—â—â—r the two finest Creatures in the â—orld That it is a composition that iâ— most rare and precious in the esâ—â—â—ce of things This kind of Union 〈◊〉 seen no where else nor in any oâ—her subject The Conjunction of the Stars is a Union purely corporâ—al the Copulation of Beasts is a Union purely carnal Fornication is a Union of Body without Soul And Friendship as strong as it may be betwixt two friends is notwithstanding but a U ion of Souls without Body There is nothing but Marriage that truly unites Bodies and Souls togather Its second perfection consists in its â—nd which according to nature is to multiply men according to grace is to encrease the number of the Elect and according to Nature and Grace to retain the Sexes in the â—ounds of Wisdom Modesty and Honesty in removing the disorders of debauchery What can be more worthy of God and Man than this End I say in the last place that tâ—â— manner of this Union likewise makâ— up one of its beauties Marriage dotâ— not only joyn the Bodies it also â—nites the Souls 'T is much I confess but there is still something incomparably greater It not only unitâ— Bodies and Souls but O surprisinâ— wonder of two Bodies and twâ— Souls it makes one and the samâ— Person Man and Wife says Jesâ— Christ are no more two but one flesâ— Aristotle affirms of a real friendship that it is a soul which inhabits 〈◊〉 two Bodies But the union of Marrâ—age is still much more intimate Theâ— are no more two Bodies but one single Body no more two Souls but onâ— single Soul They are no longer twâ— Bodies tyed to one Soul No longer two Souls confounded in one Body 'T is a something I know noâ— what which is not absolutely one oâ— t'other but is more than both and cannot be expressed Possibly the Comick Poet thought of nothing less than to represent to us the wonder of this Union when he made the diverting peice of his 〈…〉 â—nphytrion It is notwithstanding â—hat he doth after the most natuâ—â—â— way imaginable in the Scene of â—â—e two Sofias He makes them to 〈◊〉 of so perfect a resemblance that â—â—ey look upon one another as one â—â—d the same person They are not 〈◊〉 all distinguishable They are two 〈◊〉 number yet but one in action and â—ovement They always speak by I and not by We. They do not say â—ou art there and I am here but I am there I am here Plautus expresses 〈◊〉 in his Language with an emphasis â—e cannot render in ours What you would persuade me no body ever heard says Amphytrion to Sosia that one man should be at the same time in two different places Nemo unquam homo antehac Plaut Amphyt Act 2. Sc. 1. Vidit nec potest fieri tempore uno Homo idem duobus locis ut simul sit By what inconceiveable art could it be that thou wast at the same moment here and in