more_o precious_a and_o i_o be_v encourage_v to_o go_v on_o with_o confidence_n and_o i_o determine_v to_o eye_n this_o promise_n for_o the_o future_a when_o i_o shall_v go_v forth_o where_o i_o may_v probable_o meet_v with_o disturbance_n dec._n 25._o 65._o as_o i_o be_v read_v in_o my_o course_n luke_n 6._o i_o observe_v from_o v_o 11_o 12._o from_o christ_n practice_n who_o in_o those_o day_n when_o his_o enemy_n be_v fill_v with_o madness_n against_o he_o and_o commune_v one_o with_o another_o what_o they_o may_v do_v unto_o he_o go_v out_o into_o a_o mountain_n to_o pray_v and_o continue_v all_o night_n in_o prayer_n to_o god_n i_o observe_v i_o say_v hence_o that_o it_o be_v my_o duty_n to_o give_v myself_o much_o unto_o prayer_n at_o such_o time_n as_o i_o have_v any_o enemy_n that_o lay_v wait_v for_o i_o to_o do_v i_o hurt_v within_o a_o day_n or_o two_o after_o one_o of_o the_o constable_n come_v to_o i_o and_o tell_v i_o that_o his_o fellow_n constable_n when_o he_o have_v drink_v somewhat_o liberal_o open_v his_o heart_n to_o he_o and_o tell_v he_o that_o there_o have_v be_v some_o communication_n between_o he_o and_o one_o of_o the_o deputy_n lieutenant_n about_o present_v i_o at_o the_o session_n and_o about_o my_o meeting_n i_o think_v upon_o that_o place_n in_o luke_n 6._o 11_o 12._o after_o he_o be_v go_v and_o go_v up_o into_o my_o chamber_n to_o pray_v and_o as_o i_o be_v meditate_v on_o this_o matter_n that_o scripture_n deut._n 33._o 12._o be_v bring_v to_o my_o remembrance_n the_o belove_a of_o the_o lord_n shall_v dwell_v in_o safety_n by_o he_o etc._n etc._n i_o be_v strengthen_v in_o my_o adherence_n to_o this_o promise_n because_o god_n have_v late_o make_v out_o his_o love_n to_o my_o soul_n as_o i_o be_v plead_v this_o promise_n in_o prayer_n that_o passage_n be_v set_v home_o he_o shall_v cover_v thou_o all_o the_o day_n long_o whence_o i_o do_v hope_n that_o the_o lord_n who_o have_v help_v i_o hitherto_o will_v still_o cover_v i_o under_o the_o shadow_n of_o his_o wing_n after_o i_o have_v be_v at_o prayer_n i_o consider_v jacob_n carriage_n when_o he_o be_v in_o danger_n of_o suffer_v by_o his_o brother_n esau_n after_o he_o have_v be_v wrestle_v with_o god_n in_o prayer_n and_o plead_v the_o promise_n he_o betake_v himselfto_o the_o use_n of_o the_o most_o probable_a mean_n for_o appease_v esau_n i_o also_o use_v the_o most_o probable_a mean_n to_o prevent_v trouble_n at_o the_o ensue_a session_n and_o it_o please_v god_n so_o to_o order_v thing_n at_o the_o session_n that_o i_o meet_v with_o no_o trouble_n bless_a be_v god_n who_o alone_o make_v i_o to_o dwell_v in_o safety_n jun._n 22._o as_o i_o be_v exercise_v in_o my_o family_n in_o the_o afternoon_n several_a of_o my_o friend_n be_v with_o i_o i_o have_v word_n send_v i_o that_o the_o mayor_n and_o justice_n will_v come_v down_o to_o my_o house_n whereupon_o be_v near_o the_o end_n of_o my_o exercise_n i_o quick_o conclude_v after_o i_o have_v do_v and_o dismiss_v the_o people_n one_o of_o the_o constable_n come_v to_o i_o and_o tell_v i_o he_o be_v send_v to_o dissolve_v my_o meeting_n but_o have_v a_o tremble_a upon_o he_o when_o he_o speak_v to_o i_o he_o add_v that_o he_o bless_a god_n that_o have_v give_v he_o a_o heart_n to_o come_v some_o time_n himself_o and_o his_o wife_n to_o my_o meeting_n so_o that_o instead_o of_o do_v i_o any_o hurt_n he_o give_v glory_n to_o god_n that_o incline_v he_o to_o come_v to_o hear_v i_o in_o octob._n 1670._o i_o be_v present_v in_o the_o ecclesiastical_a court_n for_o preach_v but_o god_n stand_v by_o i_o and_o encourage_v i_o with_o that_o word_n ps_n 103._o 31._o and_o though_o my_o adversary_n proceed_v so_o far_o as_o to_o get_v out_o a_o excommunication_n against_o i_o yet_o the_o lord_n raise_v up_o deliverance_n for_o i_o that_o the_o court_n take_v off_o my_o excommunication_n without_o appear_v before_o they_o or_o pay_v any_o fe_n yea_o so_o far_o be_v he_o from_o decline_v the_o exercise_n of_o his_o ministry_n for_o fear_n of_o suffering_n that_o when_o he_o have_v be_v persuade_v thereto_o by_o the_o importunity_n of_o friend_n he_o be_v much_o dissatisfy_v concern_v which_o thus_o he_o record_v i_o promise_v mr._n b._n to_o preach_v at_o white_a colne_n on_o octob._n 23._o according_o on_o saturday_n i_o be_v prepare_v to_o go_v h._n p._n come_v in_o and_o tell_v we_o that_o the_o soldier_n have_v seize_v mr._n b._n and_o imprison_v he_o and_o that_o it_o will_v not_o be_v safe_a for_o i_o to_o go_v at_o that_o season_n all_o my_o friend_n and_o relation_n dissuade_v i_o but_o notwithstanding_o my_o mind_n stand_v to_o go_v but_o be_v importune_v to_o stay_v and_o have_v be_v very_o late_o seek_v after_o by_o name_n by_o the_o soldier_n in_o those_o part_n and_o weigh_v the_o providence_n in_o send_v h._n p._n to_o my_o house_n with_o this_o intelligence_n as_o i_o be_v about_o to_o take_v horse_n i_o determine_v to_o cast_v myself_o on_o my_o brother_n cole_n determination_n who_o be_v then_o at_o my_o house_n and_o he_o determine_v that_o i_o shall_v not_o go_v i_o stay_v at_o home_n but_o that_o night_n and_o the_o next_o day_n i_o be_v under_o much_o despondency_n of_o spirit_n for_o miss_v such_o a_o opportunity_n of_o service_n yet_o god_n be_v gracious_a to_o i_o and_o revive_v i_o it_o be_v some_o stay_n to_o my_o mind_n what_o i_o read_v mat._n 16._o 20._o where_o i_o observe_v that_o the_o divulge_v of_o the_o most_o necessary_a truth_n be_v at_o some_o season_n and_o in_o some_o place_n prohibit_v by_o jesus_n christ_n i_o be_v further_o satisfy_v from_o act._n 16._o 6_o 7._o whence_o i_o observe_v that_o the_o frustrate_v of_o our_o attempt_n and_o design_n to_o preach_v the_o gospel_n to_o particular_a place_n that_o we_o purpose_v to_o go_v to_o do_v sometime_o arise_v from_o the_o holy_a ghost_n and_o from_o psal_n 52._o 9_o i_o have_v a_o damp_n upon_o my_o spirit_n and_o be_v hinder_v from_o praise_v god_n for_o my_o deliverance_n from_o my_o enemy_n hand_n because_o i_o have_v miss_v a_o opportunity_n of_o service_n but_o this_o scripture_n convince_v i_o that_o i_o ought_v to_o praise_n god_n for_o this_o providence_n though_o attend_v with_o some_o afflict_a circumstance_n by_o these_o scripture_n and_o prayer_n i_o obtain_v satisfaction_n and_o the_o lord_n answer_v my_o desire_n and_o full_o quiet_v my_o mind_n once_o a_o very_a zealous_a and_o active_a prosecutor_n of_o the_o nonconformist_n obtain_v a_o warrant_n against_o he_o upon_o the_o oxford_n act_n direct_v to_o all_o the_o chief_a constable_n and_o petty-constable_n in_o the_o county_n to_o apprehend_v he_o according_o a_o officer_n a_o stranger_n come_v to_o execute_v it_o and_o when_o he_o be_v nigh_o the_o house_n he_o espy_v two_o person_n who_o by_o their_o habit_n he_o judge_v to_o be_v minister_n walk_v in_o a_o field_n the_o one_o be_v mr._n stockton_n the_o other_o mr._n senior_n of_o hackney_n who_o god_n have_v also_o late_o take_v away_o he_o hasten_v to_o they_o and_o tell_v they_o he_o have_v a_o warrant_n against_o one_o of_o they_o but_o he_o know_v neither_o mr._n senior_n ask_v which_o of_o they_o he_o answer_v mr._n stockton_n let_v i_o see_v your_o warrant_n say_v mr._n senior_n he_o show_v it_o he_o very_o conclude_v from_o thence_o that_o he_o be_v the_o man_n some_o little_a girl_n be_v there_o walk_v with_o they_o who_o do_v industrious_o cling_v to_o mr._n senior_n as_o if_o he_o have_v be_v their_o father_n which_o further_o confirm_v he_o in_o his_o error_n while_n mr._n senior_n read_v the_o warrant_n and_o the_o officer_n be_v intent_n upon_o he_o mr._n stockton_n walk_v aside_o and_o when_o mr._n senior_n see_v he_o beyond_o his_o reach_n he_o convince_v the_o officer_n of_o his_o error_n who_o thereby_o be_v disappoint_v of_o his_o prey_n be_v thus_o secure_v by_o the_o providence_n of_o god_n through_o faith_n and_o prayer_n from_o the_o danger_n of_o adversary_n he_o thankful_o acknowledge_v the_o whole_a glory_n thereof_o to_o god_n thus_o in_o read_v 2_o chron._n 20._o 30._o the_o realm_n of_o jehoshaphat_n be_v quiet_a for_o his_o god_n give_v he_o rest_v round_o about_o god_n cause_v i_o to_o take_v notice_n that_o my_o live_n in_o rest_n and_o quietness_n be_v free_a from_o the_o molestation_n of_o my_o enemy_n be_v the_o gift_n of_o god_n and_o come_v to_o pass_v by_o his_o providence_n not_o from_o the_o privacy_n of_o the_o place_n where_o i_o live_v or_o from_o the_o peaceable_a disposition_n of_o my_o neighbour_n i_o be_v also_o instruct_v what_o i_o shall_v return_v unto_o the_o lord_n for_o keep_v i_o from_o the_o
god_n be_v a_o spirit_n of_o truth_n and_o of_o life_n too_o communicate_v both_o grace_n and_o gift_n and_o teach_v as_o well_o 〈◊〉_d 〈◊〉_d 〈◊〉_d 〈◊〉_d 〈◊〉_d as_o 〈◊〉_d 〈◊〉_d 〈◊〉_d 〈◊〉_d 〈◊〉_d both_o which_o consist_v together_o in_o this_o excellent_a person_n the_o word_n of_o god_n dwell_v both_o in_o his_o head_n and_o heart_n and_o be_v effectual_o the_o law_n of_o his_o life_n he_o be_v a_o burn_v as_o well_o as_o shine_v light_n a_o man_n more_o than_o ordinary_o mortify_v to_o the_o pleasure_n of_o the_o flesh_n and_o vanity_n of_o the_o world_n free_o and_o resolve_o devote_v to_o the_o fear_n of_o god_n his_o conversation_n be_v in_o heaven_n his_o communion_n with_o god_n his_o delight_n in_o the_o saint_n his_o business_n religion_n his_o zeal_n for_o holiness_n his_o main_a design_n the_o glorify_v of_o god_n and_o the_o salvation_n of_o his_o own_o and_o other_o soul_n whereof_o the_o follow_a page_n will_v i_o doubt_v not_o be_v a_o abundant_a evidence_n not_o only_o to_o the_o charitable_a but_o rational_a judgement_n of_o the_o christian_a reader_n as_o for_o his_o practice_n of_o mortification_n i_o shall_v not_o otherwise_o express_v it_o than_o in_o his_o own_o word_n as_o i_o read_v it_o in_o the_o record_n of_o the_o remarkable_a passage_n of_o his_o life_n by_o his_o own_o hand_n but_o after_o he_o have_v a_o family_n viz._n have_v be_v foil_v by_o the_o lust_n of_o my_o own_o heart_n several_a time_n and_o consider_v what_o i_o shall_v do_v to_o get_v rid_v of_o those_o lust_n which_o have_v so_o often_o prevail_v over_o i_o god_n direct_v i_o to_o three_o several_a mean_n the_o one_o be_v suggest_v to_o i_o as_o i_o be_v walk_v in_o my_o garden_n and_o meditate_v on_o the_o affair_n of_o my_o soul_n and_o that_o be_v to_o be_v more_o frequent_a in_o eye_v apply_v and_o meditate_v on_o the_o promise_n and_o the_o scripture_n which_o the_o holy_a spirit_n of_o god_n set_v before_o i_o for_o this_o end_n be_v 2_o pet._n 1._o 4._o by_o the_o precious_a promise_n give_v to_o we_o we_o escape_v the_o pollution_n that_o be_v in_o the_o world_n through_o lust_n the_o other_o be_v suggest_v to_o i_o as_o i_o be_v hear_v a_o sermon_n and_o that_o be_v to_o be_v daily_o apply_v the_o lord_n jesus_n to_o my_o soul_n ground_v on_o rom._n 13._o 13._o 14._o where_o the_o apostle_n advise_v to_o put_v on_o the_o lord_n jesus_n christ_n as_o a_o help_n against_o chamber_v and_o wantonness_n strife_n and_o envy_v the_o three_o be_v suggest_v to_o i_o as_o i_o be_v ride_v abroad_o and_o discourse_v of_o the_o thing_n of_o god_n which_o be_v gal._n 5._o 16._o walk_v in_o the_o spirit_n and_o you_o shall_v not_o fulfil_v the_o lust_n of_o the_o flesh_n in_o pursuance_n of_o these_o mean_n for_o the_o mortify_n of_o the_o lust_n of_o the_o flesh_n i_o determine_v with_o myself_o to_o eye_n the_o promise_n of_o god_n more_o frequent_o than_o i_o have_v do_v and_o to_o that_o end_n i_o choose_v out_o some_o promise_n of_o daily_a and_o continual_a use_n and_o determine_v by_o the_o help_n of_o god_n to_o salute_v and_o embrace_v they_o once_o a_o day_n and_o not_o only_o to_o take_v a_o view_n of_o they_o myself_o but_o in_o my_o meditation_n and_o soliloquy_n to_o spread_v they_o before_o god_n and_o to_o put_v the_o lord_n in_o remembrance_n of_o they_o for_o supply_v all_o the_o want_n of_o the_o day_n i_o choose_v that_o promise_n phil._n 4._o 19_o for_o growth_n in_o grace_n hos_n 14._o 5._o for_o subdue_a my_o sin_n mic._n 7._o 19_o rom._n 6._o 14._o for_o success_n in_o my_o undertake_n ps_n 1._o 3._o for_o turn_v all_o the_o event_n of_o the_o day_n for_o good_a to_o i_o rom._n 8._o 28._o for_o the_o conversion_n and_o sanctification_n of_o my_o child_n isa_n 44._o 3._o for_o my_o yoke-fellow_n and_o servant_n and_o all_o other_o in_o my_o family_n that_o they_o may_v get_v good_a from_o i_o and_o return_v to_o god_n and_o grow_v in_o grace_n hos_n 14._o 7._o for_o sanctify_v of_o my_o affliction_n isa_n 27._o 9_o zech._n 13._o 9_o for_o audience_n of_o my_o prayer_n mic._n 7._o 7._o joh._n 14._o 13._o 14._o for_o grace_n and_o strength_n to_o manage_v all_o the_o work_n of_o the_o day_n to_o the_o glory_n of_o god_n zech._n 10._o 12._o for_o protection_n from_o danger_n and_o casualty_n gen._n 15._o 1._o for_o give_v i_o eternal_a life_n in_o case_n the_o day_n shall_v bring_v death_n to_o i_o luk._n 12._o 32._o joh._n 3._o 16._o for_o counsel_n and_o direction_n in_o all_o case_n of_o difficulty_n and_o unexpected_a emergency_n isa_n 58._o 11._o ps_n 32._o 8._o i_o judge_v it_o also_o very_o conducible_a to_o the_o glory_n of_o god_n and_o my_o own_o soul_n good_a to_o manage_v all_o my_o employment_n as_o much_o as_o may_v be_v with_o a_o eye_n to_o the_o promise_n and_o as_o to_o my_o call_n when_o i_o be_o study_v to_o compose_v sermon_n deut._n 28._o 8._o when_o i_o go_v to_o preach_v math._n 28._o 19_o 20._o for_o success_n in_o my_o preach_n isa_n 56._o 8._o 65._o 23._o i_o be_v the_o more_o confirm_v in_o this_o frequent_a and_o familiar_a converse_n with_o the_o promise_n not_o only_o as_o it_o help_v on_o our_o participation_n of_o the_o divine_a nature_n and_o our_o escape_v the_o pollution_n that_o be_v in_o the_o world_n through_o lust_n but_o because_o the_o lord_n command_v we_o to_o be_v always_o mindful_a of_o his_o covenant_n 1_o chron._n 16._o 15._o and_o it_o please_v god_n to_o see_v we_o take_v hold_v of_o his_o covenant_n isa_n 56._o 4._o and_o it_o be_v for_o the_o glory_n of_o god_n 2_o cor._n 1._o 20._o i_o determine_v also_o when_o i_o shall_v feel_v the_o work_n of_o any_o lust_n present_o to_o look_v up_o to_o jesus_n christ_n it_o be_v the_o remedy_n which_o the_o holy_a ghost_n prescribe_v against_o such_o sin_n as_o do_v most_o easy_o beset_v we_o heb._n 12._o 1._o 2._o i_o have_v often_o be_v encourage_v and_o help_v in_o this_o practice_n of_o look_v unto_o jesus_n to_o subdue_v my_o sin_n from_o act._n 3._o ult_n god_n send_v his_o son_n jesus_n to_o bless_v we_o in_o turn_v we_o every_o one_o from_o his_o iniquity_n beza_n note_n upon_o that_o text_n be_v very_o good_a and_o have_v be_v of_o use_n to_o i_o viz._n that_o the_o great_a word_n for_o inquity_n signify_v the_o root_n and_o habit_n of_o sin_n i_o see_v it_o be_v my_o duty_n and_o concernment_n every_o day_n to_o be_v more_o frequent_a in_o apply_v my_o soul_n to_o christ_n and_o christ_n his_o benefit_n to_o my_o soul_n in_o pursuance_n of_o the_o 3d_o mean_n of_o mortification_n viz._n walk_v in_o the_o spirit_n i_o resolve_v to_o endeavour_v to_o do_v my_o work_n and_o duty_n both_o to_o god_n and_o man_n more_o spiritual_o and_o in_o order_n hereunto_o to_o reduce_v my_o act_n to_o some_o word_n and_o as_o oft_o as_o i_o can_v to_o eye_n some_o word_n of_o god_n as_o i_o be_v enter_v on_o they_o as_o for_o instance_n if_o i_o be_v call_v out_o by_o other_o or_o stir_v up_o in_o my_o own_o spirit_n to_o visit_v the_o sick_a or_o any_o afflict_a person_n to_o have_v my_o thought_n on_o math._n 25._o 36._o or_o jam._n 1._o 27._o when_o any_o poor_a people_n come_v to_o i_o for_o relief_n or_o any_o object_n of_o charity_n be_v present_v to_o i_o to_o eye_n gal._n 6._o 10._o or_o hebr._n 13._o 16._o or_o isa_n 58._o 10._o or_o eccl._n 11._o 1._o or_o prov_fw-mi 19_o 17._o when_o a_o poor_a man_n come_v to_o borrow_v deut._n 15._o 7._o 8._o 10._o when_o to_o write_v letter_n take_v a_o journey_n or_o be_v any_o way_n employ_v for_o other_o gal._n 5._o 13._o phil._n 2._o 4._o when_o to_o visit_n out_o of_o courtesy_n or_o do_v any_o thing_n which_o courtesy_n require_v 1_o pet._n 3._o 8._o when_o to_o instruct_v my_o servant_n and_o child_n deut._n 6._o 7._o gen._n 18._o 19_o when_o to_o catechise_v the_o youth_n that_o come_v to_o my_o family_n joh._n 21._o 15._o prov._n 22._o 6._o when_o invite_v to_o exercise_v abroad_o among_o poor_a or_o rich_a isa_n 32._o ult_n when_o to_o administer_v a_o reproof_n leu._n 19_o 17._o when_o to_o confer_v about_o spiritual_a thing_n mal._n 3._o 17._o this_o be_v the_o wise_a and_o holy_a method_n which_o this_o faithful_a servant_n and_o soldier_n of_o jesus_n christ_n prescribe_v to_o himself_o by_o divine_a direction_n whereby_o to_o manage_v the_o spiritual_a war_n with_o the_o sin_n that_o dwell_v in_o he_o that_o he_o may_v not_o be_v overcome_v with_o it_o according_a to_o which_o he_o moreover_o charge_v himself_o with_o the_o practice_n of_o universal_a positive_a holiness_n which_o he_o thus_o record_v be_v under_o the_o rebuke_n of_o god_n chastise_v
something_o to_o it_o before_o prayer_n often_o exhort_v his_o family_n to_o a_o reverend_a demeanour_n of_o themselves_o in_o the_o worship_n of_o god_n and_o will_v be_v much_o trouble_v when_o he_o understand_v or_o discern_v any_o thing_n to_o the_o contrary_n once_o a_o week_n for_o the_o most_o part_n he_o do_v catechise_v both_o child_n and_o servant_n either_o out_o of_o the_o assembly_n or_o his_o own_o scriptural_a catechism_n and_o explain_v it_o to_o they_o and_o once_o a_o fortnight_n if_o not_o divert_v by_o urgent_a occasion_n he_o go_v over_o some_o principle_n of_o religion_n open_v and_o explain_v it_o in_o a_o catiehistical_a way_n which_o his_o child_n and_o servant_n be_v to_o give_v he_o a_o account_n of_o the_o next_o fortnight_n and_o when_o they_o have_v so_o do_v he_o proceed_v to_o another_o principle_n and_o thus_o he_o do_v from_o time_n to_o time_n what_o sermon_n the_o youth_n of_o the_o family_n hear_v upon_o the_o lord_n day_n or_o at_o any_o other_o time_n they_o give_v a_o account_n thereof_o to_o he_o as_o they_o can_v remember_v he_o keep_v private_a day_n of_o humiliation_n with_o his_o family_n as_o often_o as_o he_o can_v gain_v opportunity_n for_o it_o on_o which_o day_n he_o will_v if_o not_o prevent_v deal_v particular_o with_o every_o one_o or_o as_o many_o as_o he_o have_v time_n for_o that_o be_v under_o his_o charge_n about_o the_o matter_n of_o their_o soul_n and_o take_v care_n that_o all_o in_o his_o family_n shall_v call_v upon_o god_n and_o pray_v to_o he_o in_o secret_a as_o well_o as_o be_v present_a at_o family_n duty_n and_o when_o any_o of_o his_o brethren_n come_v to_o usit_fw-la he_o he_o be_v not_o willing_a to_o let_v they_o depart_v without_o prayer_n his_o family_n be_v a_o house_n of_o prayer_n these_o his_o labour_n in_o his_o family_n god_n bless_v and_o succeed_v to_o the_o spiritual_a good_a of_o several_a that_o come_v under_o his_o roof_n he_o be_v most_o tender_o conscientious_a in_o keep_v holy_a the_o sabbath_n day_n whereof_o he_o be_v a_o strict_a observer_n and_o take_v care_n that_o all_o under_o his_o roof_n shall_v do_v the_o same_o he_o keep_v a_o very_a severe_a watch_n not_o only_o over_o his_o word_n and_o action_n but_o his_o very_a thought_n also_o quick_o reflect_v thereon_o not_o only_a when_o vain_a and_o sinful_a but_o when_o impertinent_a to_o the_o holiness_n and_o duty_n of_o the_o day_n whereof_o he_o have_v leave_v the_o follow_a testimony_n april_n 29._o 1666._o my_o heart_n be_v much_o out_o of_o frame_n upon_o the_o lord_n day_n full_a of_o vain_a and_o sinful_a thought_n as_o i_o be_v go_v to_o prayer_n in_o the_o afternoon_n alone_o god_n bring_v to_o remembrance_n ps_n 40._o 12_o 17._o innumerable_a evil_n have_v compass_a i_o about_o my_o iniquity_n have_v take_v hold_v upon_o i_o so_o that_o i_o be_o not_o able_a to_o look_v up_o yet_o the_o lord_n think_v upon_o i_o this_o be_v a_o stay_n to_o i_o apr._n 4._o i_o go_v forth_o on_o several_a occasion_n none_o of_o they_o succeed_v the_o first_o contrivance_n of_o that_o journey_n be_v cast_v into_o my_o thought_n on_o the_o lord_n day_n in_o a_o time_n of_o prayer_n i_o lay_v it_o aside_o till_o monday_n and_o then_o consider_v further_o of_o it_o and_o see_v it_o convenient_a for_o the_o best_a order_v of_o my_o affair_n but_o not_o humble_v my_o soul_n for_o those_o contrivance_n so_o unreasonable_o arise_v in_o my_o mind_n i_o be_v cross_v in_o they_o hereupon_o i_o determine_v for_o time_n to_o come_v when_o any_o thought_n or_o contrivance_n about_o order_v my_o affair_n be_v cast_v into_o my_o mind_n on_o lord_n day_n or_o on_o other_o day_n in_o time_n of_o holy_a duty_n to_o lay_v they_o aside_o till_o a_o more_o convenient_a time_n and_o if_o upon_o deliberation_n that_o way_n of_o order_v my_o affair_n seem_v best_a which_o be_v cast_v into_o my_o mind_n in_o time_n of_o holy_a duty_n i_o will_v not_o hereupon_o neglect_v that_o way_n lest_o satan_n shall_v get_v advantage_n of_o i_o but_o i_o will_v first_o humble_v my_o soul_n for_o its_o wander_n and_o suffering_n such_o thought_n to_o arise_v so_o unreasonable_o and_o take_v to_o christ_n for_o pardon_n of_o the_o irregularity_n of_o my_o heart_n and_o then_o not_o fear_v to_o order_v my_o affair_n in_o that_o way_n that_o seem_v most_o agreeable_a to_o reason_n and_o near_o the_o rule_n of_o god_n word_n though_o the_o contrivance_n be_v first_o cast_v into_o my_o mind_n at_o a_o unseasonable_a time_n have_v a_o letter_n of_o spiritual_a advice_n and_o counsel_n to_o write_v to_o a_o friend_n and_o have_v no_o spare_a time_n but_o on_o the_o lord_n day_n to_o do_v it_o i_o be_v doubtful_a whether_o i_o may_v spend_v some_o part_n of_o that_o day_n on_o such_o employment_n as_o i_o be_v muse_v on_o my_o bed_n what_o i_o have_v best_o do_v that_o scripture_n come_v to_o my_o mind_n rev._n 1._o 10_o 11._o i_o be_v in_o the_o spirit_n on_o the_o lord_n day_n and_o i_o hear_v a_o voice_n say_v what_o thou_o see_v write_v in_o a_o book_n and_o send_v it_o to_o the_o seven_o church_n whence_o i_o conclude_v it_o to_o be_v lawful_a to_o write_v as_o well_o as_o read_v hear_v meditate_v and_o discourse_n of_o spirital_a matter_n on_o the_o lord_n day_n his_o charity_n have_v no_o less_o measure_n than_o the_o rest_n of_o his_o grace_n which_o he_o account_v one_o of_o the_o best_a character_n of_o a_o christian_n lament_v sometime_o the_o division_n among_o professor_n of_o religion_n he_o will_v say_v he_o do_v not_o value_v a_o christian_a by_o his_o great_a knowledge_n and_o eminent_a part_n but_o by_o his_o great_a charity_n and_o love_n to_o his_o brethren_n this_o he_o extend_v to_o various_a sort_n of_o object_n as_o towards_o those_o who_o be_v at_o difference_n one_o with_o another_o he_o be_v a_o industrious_a peacemaker_n offer_v himself_o to_o interpose_v to_o make_v up_o the_o breach_n take_v journey_n when_o at_o distance_n in_o order_n to_o it_o towards_o those_o that_o have_v difference_n with_o himself_o about_o worldly_a concern_v from_o which_o he_o be_v not_o altogether_o free_a though_o altogether_o innocent_a when_o he_o suffer_v wrong_a by_o any_o his_o care_n be_v that_o they_o shall_v suffer_v none_o by_o he_o or_o he_o either_o in_o word_n or_o deed_n always_o practise_v himself_o and_o counsel_v other_o to_o do_v good_a against_o evil_n he_o will_v make_v the_o best_a construction_n that_o be_v possible_a of_o the_o word_n and_o action_n of_o his_o adversary_n often_o make_v mention_n of_o that_o scripture_n 1_o cor._n 13._o 5._o charity_n think_v no_o evil_a towards_o his_o friend_n his_o friendship_n be_v hearty_a ingenuous_a faithful_a and_o open_a he_o receive_v they_o into_o his_o house_n glad_o entertain_v they_o liberal_o converse_v with_o they_o cheerful_o sympathise_v with_o they_o in_o their_o affliction_n affectionate_o and_o serve_v they_o as_o he_o have_v occasion_n industrious_o towards_o those_o that_o persecute_v he_o and_o other_o for_o conscience_n and_o religion_n sake_n he_o observe_v the_o command_n of_o christ_n math._n 5._o 44._o he_o affcctionate_o pity_v they_o and_o pray_v for_o they_o daily_o and_o when_o he_o hear_v any_o passionate_a expression_n against_o they_o for_o their_o violence_n and_o unrighteousness_n he_o will_v be_v offend_v and_o charge_v people_n to_o pray_v more_o earnest_o for_o they_o and_o seek_v opportunity_n to_o do_v they_o good_a towards_o those_o that_o dissent_v from_o he_o in_o the_o matter_n of_o god_n he_o have_v a_o spirit_n of_o meekness_n and_o forbearance_n embrace_v all_o with_o christian_a love_n who_o practice_n do_v not_o destroy_v their_o profession_n of_o christianity_n colchester_n be_v a_o very_a divide_a place_n when_o he_o be_v call_v thither_o upon_o the_o account_n of_o diverse_a persuasion_n yet_o he_o so_o behave_v himself_o with_o all_o humility_n modiration_n tenderness_n brotherly_a kindness_n and_o charitable_a judgement_n that_o they_o be_v general_o unite_v in_o their_o respect_n and_o esteem_v for_o he_o and_o though_o he_o can_v not_o with_o satisfaction_n to_o his_o conscience_n conform_v to_o all_o that_o the_o law_n require_v yet_o he_o judge_v many_o that_o do_v to_o be_v very_o good_a man_n and_o have_v a_o real_a honour_n for_o they_o towards_o the_o poor_a and_o such_o as_o be_v reduce_v to_o straits_n and_o difficulty_n in_o this_o world_n he_o be_v pitiful_a and_o bountiful_a he_o devise_v liberal_a thing_n and_o draw_v out_o his_o soul_n to_o the_o hungry_a in_o the_o exercise_n whereof_o he_o observe_v our_o saviour_n rule_n math._n 6._o 1_o 2_o 3._o this_o indeed_o be_v one_o of_o his_o secret_n which_o he_o always_o industrious_o conceal_v as_o much_o as_o he_o can_v yet_o variety_n of_o object_n bare_a
my_o spirit_n from_o those_o word_n of_o the_o prophet_n isa_n 40._o 27._o why_o say_v thou_o o_o jacob_n and_o speak_v o_o israel_n my_o way_n be_v hide_v from_o the_o lord_n and_o my_o judgement_n be_v pass_v over_o from_o my_o god_n and_o do_v encourage_v my_o soul_n still_o to_o hope_v in_o god_n and_o wait_v for_o his_o strength_n from_o the_o follow_a word_n v_o 28_o 29._o 31._o have_v thou_o not_o know_v have_v thou_o not_o hear_v if_o thou_o have_v not_o know_v it_o by_o experience_n have_v find_v his_o everlasting_a arm_n under_o thou_o for_o thy_o support_n yet_o have_v thou_o not_o at_o least_o hear_v it_o that_o the_o everlasting_a god_n the_o lord_n the_o creator_n of_o the_o end_n of_o the_o earth_n faint_v not_o neither_o be_v weary_a he_o give_v power_n to_o the_o faint_a etc._n etc._n continue_v thou_o therefore_o o_o my_o soul_n to_o wait_v upon_o the_o lord_n lord_n what_o a_o accurse_a hard_a heart_n have_v i_o that_o sin_n which_o grieve_v thou_o gen._n 6._o 6._o thy_n son_n mar._n 3._o 5._o thy_o spirit_n eph._n 4._o 30._o shall_v not_o grieve_v i_o that_o sin_n which_o weary_v thou_o isa_n 43._o 24._o shall_v not_o be_v a_o burden_n to_o i_o that_o i_o shall_v not_o be_v trouble_v for_o want_v of_o thy_o presence_n when_o as_o the_o hide_v of_o thy_o face_n make_v our_o saviour_n cry_v out_o my_o god_n my_o god_n why_o have_v thou_o forsake_v i_o that_o eternity_n and_o judgement_n to_o come_v shall_v make_v no_o impression_n upon_o i_o that_o i_o can_v hear_v yea_o speak_v of_o thy_o word_n thy_o wrath_n etc._n etc._n and_o yet_o not_o fear_v thou_o not_o tremble_v at_o thy_o word_n nor_o at_o this_o my_o condition_n feb._n 19_o be_v sabbath_n day_n have_v former_o perceive_v a_o desperate_a hardness_n in_o my_o heart_n that_o that_o word_n which_o work_v upon_o other_o shall_v do_v i_o no_o good_a that_o no_o mean_n no_o mercy_n do_v melt_v my_o soul_n and_o almost_o despair_v of_o ever_o have_v it_o soften_v after_o prayer_n i_o be_v encourage_v from_o the_o lord_n in_o read_v mr._n hooker_n upon_o act._n 2._o 37._o who_o from_o those_o word_n when_o they_o hear_v these_o thing_n they_o who_o have_v crucify_a our_o lord_n christ_n be_v prick_v at_o the_o heart_n raise_v this_o observation_n it_o be_v possible_a even_o for_o the_o most_o stubborn_a sinner_n to_o get_v a_o break_a heart_n and_o now_o o_o my_o soul_n why_o be_v thou_o cast_v down_o be_v not_o the_o lord_n great_a than_o thy_o heart_n can_v satan_n be_v more_o malicious_a to_o destroy_v thou_o than_o the_o lord_n be_v merciful_a to_o save_v thou_o yet_o the_o act_n of_o my_o faith_n hereupon_o be_v but_o faint_a upon_o examination_n of_o myself_o i_o have_v sometime_o find_v that_o to_o my_o own_o sense_n and_o feeling_n i_o have_v be_v altogether_o void_a of_o any_o love_n or_o fear_v of_o god_n and_o that_o i_o have_v be_v at_o such_o a_o time_n as_o unable_a to_o work_v up_o my_o heart_n into_o the_o love_n and_o fear_n of_o god_n as_o to_o say_v to_o this_o mountain_n be_v thou_o remove_v and_o cast_v into_o the_o sea_n such_o wonderful_a deadness_n have_v seize_v upon_o my_o soul_n so_o great_o have_v i_o be_v enslave_v and_o hold_v captive_a by_o satan_n that_o i_o have_v not_o be_v able_a true_o to_o desire_v the_o spirit_n of_o god_n o_o that_o my_o heart_n can_v bleed_v at_o the_o remembrance_n of_o this_o great_a evil_n that_o i_o shall_v not_o only_o be_v cut_v off_o from_o communion_n with_o god_n but_o be_v content_v with_o this_o condition_n that_o i_o shall_v have_v no_o groan_n in_o spirit_n to_o be_v deliver_v from_o this_o miserable_a bondage_n be_v instruct_v hence_o o_o my_o soul_n to_o ascribe_v every_o good_a motion_n to_o god_n if_o thou_o feel_v any_o hungring_n after_o jesus_n christ_n or_o any_o sorrow_n for_o want_n of_o god_n presence_n or_o the_o like_a own_o it_o as_o his_o work_n and_o bless_v he_o for_o it_o i_o have_v sometime_o find_v my_o condition_n much_o like_o the_o man_n mention_v joh._n 5._o who_o lay_v a_o long_a time_n by_o the_o pool_n of_o bethesda_n but_o be_v not_o able_a to_o put_v himself_o in_o that_o he_o may_v be_v heal_v even_o so_o it_o be_v with_o my_o soul_n though_o god_n have_v open_v a_o fountain_n for_o sin_n and_o for_o uncleanness_n to_o wash_v in_o and_o i_o find_v my_o soul_n exceed_o pollute_v yet_o i_o be_o not_o able_a to_o step_v into_o this_o fountain_n that_o i_o may_v be_v heal_v o_o my_o soul_n the_o lord_n see_v thy_o weakness_n and_o that_o thou_o have_v be_v now_o a_o long_a time_n in_o this_o case_n wait_v thou_o on_o god_n who_o can_v tell_v but_o that_o as_o the_o bowel_n of_o jesus_n christ_n do_v yearn_v towards_o the_o poor_a man_n so_o may_v his_o compassion_n be_v great_a towards_o thou_o and_o he_o may_v heal_v thou_o also_o cease_v not_o to_o importune_v he_o say_v jesus_n thou_o son_n of_o god_n have_v mercy_n on_o i_o o_o lord_n heal_v my_o soul_n have_v at_o several_a time_n find_v diverse_a work_n upon_o my_o heart_n as_o conviction_n and_o thereupon_o some_o pant_n and_o breathe_n after_o god_n but_o as_o yet_o nothing_o come_v to_o perfection_n i_o think_v of_o and_o find_v that_o i_o have_v cause_n to_o take_v up_o the_o complaint_n of_o hezekiah_n in_o another_o case_n it_o be_v a_o day_n of_o trouble_n and_o rebuke_v the_o child_n be_v come_v to_o the_o birth_n and_o there_o be_v no_o strength_n to_o bring_v forth_o isa_n 37._o 3._o some_o time_n after_o read_v isa_n 66._o it_o seem_v to_o i_o that_o that_o word_n v._n 9_o be_v suit_v to_o my_o case_n shall_v i_o bring_v to_o the_o birth_n and_o not_o cause_n to_o bring_v forth_o say_v the_o lord_n shall_v i_o cause_v to_o bring_v forth_o and_o shut_v the_o womb_n say_v thy_o god_n o_o my_o soul_n wait_v thou_o on_o god_n who_o will_v perfect_v his_o own_o work_n in_o thou_o he_o have_v say_v he_o will_v not_o break_v the_o bruise_a reed_n nor_o quench_v the_o smoke_a flax_n till_o he_o send_v forth_o judgement_n unto_o victory_n i_o have_v ofttimes_o see_v a_o law_n in_o my_o member_n war_a against_o the_o law_n of_o my_o mind_n and_o lead_v i_o into_o captivity_n to_o the_o law_n of_o sin_n and_o death_n so_o powerful_a and_o mighty_a have_v be_v the_o act_n of_o some_o inward_a corruption_n that_o i_o have_v not_o be_v able_a to_o overcome_v they_o but_o have_v be_v hurry_v captive_a by_o they_o hereby_o i_o come_v to_o see_v that_o truth_n the_o heart_n of_o man_n be_v desperate_o wicked_a who_o can_v know_v it_o i_o can_v fathom_v the_o depth_n of_o iniquity_n which_o be_v in_o my_o heart_n hereupon_o i_o be_o make_v to_o cry_v out_o with_o st._n paul_n o_o wretched_a man_n that_o i_o be_o who_o shall_v deliver_v i_o from_o this_o body_n of_o death_n o_o lord_n be_v not_o thou_o far_o from_o i_o but_o make_v haste_n to_o help_v i_o let_v the_o sigh_v of_o the_o prisoner_n come_v before_o thou_o proclaim_v liberty_n to_o thy_o captive_n and_o the_o open_n of_o the_o prison_n door_n to_o he_o that_o be_v bind_v with_o the_o chain_n of_o sin_n isa_n 61._o 1._o mar._n 26._o 1654._o i_o find_v that_o though_o in_o my_o judgement_n and_o profession_n i_o acknowledge_v christ_n to_o be_v my_o righteousness_n and_o peace_n yet_o upon_o examination_n i_o observe_v that_o my_o heart_n have_v do_v quite_o another_o thing_n and_o that_o secret_o i_o have_v go_v about_o to_o establish_v my_o own_o righteousness_n and_o have_v derive_v my_o comfort_n and_o peace_n from_o my_o own_o act_n for_o when_o i_o have_v be_v disquiet_v by_o the_o act_n of_o my_o sin_n that_o which_o have_v recover_v i_o to_o my_o former_a peace_n have_v not_o be_v that_o i_o can_v find_v god_n speak_v peace_n through_o the_o blood_n of_o christ_n but_o rather_o from_o the_o intermission_n of_o temptation_n and_o the_o cessation_n of_o those_o sin_n when_o i_o have_v be_v trouble_v at_o a_o evil_a frame_n of_o heart_n i_o do_v not_o find_v that_o the_o righteousness_n of_o christ_n have_v be_v my_o consolation_n but_o that_o which_o have_v relieve_v i_o as_o far_o as_o i_o can_v find_v be_v that_o afterward_o i_o find_v myself_o in_o a_o better_a temper_n have_v be_v in_o trouble_n and_o perplexity_n i_o have_v read_v the_o scripture_n go_v to_o prayer_n and_o in_o do_v these_o i_o have_v be_v relieve_v yet_o i_o do_v not_o find_v that_o at_o such_o time_n i_o have_v real_a true_a live_a communion_n with_o god_n in_o such_o duty_n or_o that_o the_o spirit_n of_o god_n do_v in_o those_o duty_n reveal_v to_o i_o my_o interest_n in_o christ_n and_o so_o quiet_a my_o conscience_n hence_o i_o come_v to_o see_v
what_o great_a need_n i_o have_v and_o that_o it_o be_v of_o singular_a use_n to_o watch_v over_o my_o soul_n in_o all_o its_o way_n both_o in_o reference_n to_o sin_n that_o i_o fall_v not_o into_o it_o and_o when_o fall_v what_o the_o carriage_n and_o act_n of_o my_o soul_n be_v at_o such_o a_o time_n whether_o i_o flee_v for_o relief_n to_o god_n in_o christ_n or_o to_o my_o own_o work_n and_o in_o reference_n to_o my_o duty_n to_o take_v heed_n lest_o those_o mean_n which_o god_n have_v appoint_v to_o be_v the_o conveyance_n of_o himself_o his_o son_n and_o spirit_n and_o all_o spiritual_a blessing_n shall_v prove_v to_o i_o a_o mean_a of_o death_n and_o separation_n from_o god_n by_o my_o formal_a use_n of_o they_o and_o rest_v in_o they_o for_o as_o satan_n keep_v some_o alienate_v from_o god_n by_o the_o gross_a pollution_n of_o the_o world_n so_o other_o from_o christ_n by_o their_o establish_v a_o righteousness_n of_o their_o own_o o_o lord_n break_v thou_o this_o snare_n for_o i_o and_o let_v my_o soul_n escape_v as_o a_o bird_n from_o the_o net_n that_o i_o may_v flee_v to_o thou_o and_o be_v at_o rest_n i_o have_v observe_v in_o myself_o that_o when_o god_n at_o any_o time_n be_v please_v to_o work_v any_o thing_n in_o my_o soul_n i_o soon_o lose_v it_o if_o he_o quicken_v i_o i_o soon_o grow_v dead_a heart_a again_o if_o he_o enliven_v my_o affection_n they_o soon_o grow_v cold_a and_o flat_a and_o my_o old_a hardness_n return_v upon_o i_o hence_o i_o come_v to_o see_v that_o it_o be_v infinite_a wisdom_n and_o goodness_n in_o god_n that_o he_o have_v not_o put_v the_o stock_n of_o grace_n into_o our_o own_o hand_n but_o have_v treasure_v it_o up_o in_o christ_n that_o our_o life_n be_v now_o hide_v with_o christ_n in_o god_n for_o so_o it_o become_v sure_a rom._n 4._o 16._o hereby_o also_o i_o come_v to_o see_v that_o i_o have_v need_n of_o continual_a recourse_n to_o jesus_n christ_n for_o new_a supply_n of_o grace_n and_o strength_n the_o lord_n god_n in_o his_o wisdom_n be_v please_v when_o he_o deliver_v his_o people_n out_o of_o egypt_n before_o he_o bring_v they_o to_o canaan_n to_o lead_v they_o 40_o year_n in_o the_o wilderness_n when_o as_o he_o can_v have_v lead_v they_o a_o near_a way_n to_o canaan_n exod._n 13._o 17._o he_o choose_v rather_o to_o lead_v they_o through_o the_o great_a and_o terrible_a wilderness_n jer._n 2._o 6._o where_o be_v fiery_a serpent_n and_o scorpion_n and_o drought_n where_o there_o be_v no_o water_n where_o he_o bring_v they_o forth_o water_v out_o of_o the_o rock_n of_o flint_n and_o feed_v they_o with_o manna_n for_o this_o end_n that_o he_o may_v humble_v they_o prove_v they_o and_o do_v they_o good_a in_o the_o latter_a end_n deut._n 8._o 15_o 16._o do_v thou_o find_v it_o so_o o_o my_o soul_n in_o thy_o travail_n towards_o the_o heavenly_a canaan_n do_v thou_o walk_v through_o much_o spiritual_a drought_n a_o land_n of_o desert_n and_o of_o the_o shadow_n of_o death_n do_v meet_v with_o a_o flinty_a heart_n and_o fiery_a temptation_n know_v that_o the_o lord_n do_v this_o to_o humble_v thou_o which_o through_o his_o grace_n thou_o have_v sometime_o find_v and_o to_o prove_v thou_o i._n e_o to_o discover_v thou_o to_o thyself_o for_o he_o himself_o know_v thy_o thought_n afar_o off_o and_o this_o way_n of_o god_n through_o grace_n have_v be_v a_o mean_n of_o discover_v much_o of_o thy_o corrupt_a heart_n to_o thou_o and_o that_o he_o may_v do_v thou_o good_a in_o the_o latter_a end_n therefore_o take_v heed_n o_o my_o soul_n of_o israel_n sin_n of_o murmur_v against_o god_n under_o thy_o want_n of_o unbeleif_n and_o tempt_a god_n etc._n etc._n read_v oft_o and_o weight_n well_o the_o 78th_o psalm_n may_v 6._o be_v sabbath_n day_n the_o lord_n be_v please_v in_o the_o hear_n of_o his_o word_n to_o convince_v i_o of_o my_o sin_n and_o lose_v condition_n but_o lord_n how_o unfaithful_a be_v i_o then_o and_o have_v i_o be_v since_o to_o the_o conviction_n of_o thy_o spirit_n how_o soon_o have_v i_o heal_v up_o the_o wound_n that_o be_v give_v by_o the_o word_n how_o soon_o have_v a_o hard_a heart_n a_o secure_a careless_a spirit_n take_v possession_n of_o i_o lord_n if_o ever_o thy_o word_n be_v effectual_a in_o i_o thou_o must_v not_o only_o speak_v it_o to_o my_o heart_n but_o write_v and_o engraff_n it_o there_o also_o henceforth_o i_o desire_v to_o wait_v on_o thou_o as_o for_o the_o teach_n of_o thy_o spirit_n so_o for_o the_o write_n of_o thy_o law_n in_o my_o heart_n by_o thy_o spirit_n i_o find_v a_o lothness_n in_o my_o spirit_n to_o go_v to_o here_o this_o sermon_n whereby_o i_o perceive_v satan_n will_v have_v hinder_v i_o be_v encourage_v hence_o o_o my_o soul_n to_o break_v through_o all_o difficulty_n thou_o meet_v with_o in_o do_v thy_o duty_n when_o thou_o find_v any_o secret_a unwillingness_n to_o ordinance_n or_o duty_n then_o stir_v up_o thyself_o to_o wait_v upon_o god_n expect_v that_o he_o have_v some_o special_a mercy_n for_o thou_o which_o satan_n will_v hinder_v thou_o off_o jun._n 1._o this_o day_n the_o lord_n do_v in_o the_o hear_n of_o his_o word_n revive_v some_o conviction_n which_o have_v former_o be_v upon_o my_o spirit_n though_o in_o a_o very_a languid_a manner_n i_o stand_v convince_v before_o the_o lord_n of_o unbelief_n and_o that_o i_o be_v a_o lose_a creature_n because_o thereof_o from_o the_o word_n of_o our_o saviour_n joh._n 3._o 18._o he_o that_o believe_v not_o be_v condemn_v already_o conscience_n tell_v i_o that_o i_o be_o yet_o in_o unbelief_n that_o i_o want_v that_o faith_n which_o be_v accompany_v with_o the_o new_a birth_n joh._n 1._o 12_o 13._o that_o faith_n which_o shall_v purge_v i_o from_o atheism_n formality_n and_o rest_v in_o duty_n from_o hypocrisy_n and_o deadness_n from_o unclean_a affection_n and_o inordinate_a love_n of_o the_o world_n from_o a_o vain_a mind_n and_o a_o light_a spirit_n that_o faith_n which_o shall_v purify_v my_o heart_n from_o these_o and_o the_o like_a evil_n act._n 15._o 9_o that_o faith_n which_o shall_v make_v christ_n a_o great_a reality_n and_o more_o precious_a to_o i_o than_o any_o thing_n in_o the_o world_n 1_o pet._n 2._o 7._o that_o faith_n which_o bring_v peace_n with_o god_n and_o joy_n in_o the_o holy_a ghost_n unspeakable_a and_o full_a of_o glory_n rom._n 5._o 1._o 1_o pet._n 1._o 8._o i_o find_v i_o have_v have_v a_o dead_a faith_n jam._n 2._o 17_o 20._o and_o presume_v upon_o god_n mercy_n in_o christ_n although_o i_o have_v be_v estrange_v from_o god_n in_o my_o heart_n and_o nature_n my_o rest_a in_o duty_n and_o trust_v in_o my_o own_o righteousness_n as_o far_o as_o i_o can_v see_v have_v be_v the_o deceit_n of_o my_o heart_n lord_n lay_v this_o conviction_n upon_o my_o conscience_n for_o i_o find_v my_o heart_n will_v put_v it_o off_o yea_o it_o have_v already_o desperate_o harden_v itself_o against_o thou_o i_o fear_v i_o shall_v outgrow_a this_o conviction_n of_o thy_o word_n as_o at_o other_o time_n i_o feel_v a_o careless_a spirit_n that_o will_v make_v light_n of_o eternity_n and_o of_o jesus_n christ_n lord_n break_v my_o heart_n under_o thy_o word_n for_o my_o unbelief_n and_o neglect_v of_o christ_n let_v i_o not_o heal_v myself_o but_o wait_v till_o thou_o shall_v heal_v i_o thou_o do_v help_v the_o unbelief_n of_o thy_o servant_n thomas_n oh_o that_o thou_o will_v help_v i_o also_o the_o lord_n have_v show_v i_o that_o i_o be_o dead_a in_o sin_n not_o only_o from_o the_o testimony_n of_o his_o word_n eph._n 2._o 1._o col._n 2._o 13._o but_o by_o inward_a experience_n for_o i_o feel_v myself_o alienate_v from_o the_o life_n of_o god_n cut_v off_o from_o communion_n with_o the_o lord_n jesus_n separate_v from_o god_n and_o his_o bless_a spirit_n my_o deceitful_a heart_n have_v often_o go_v about_o to_o repel_v this_o conviction_n and_o have_v cause_v i_o sometime_o to_o mistake_v a_o life_n of_o morality_n for_o spiritual_a life_n and_o at_o other_o time_n a_o life_n of_o formality_n but_o now_o i_o find_v the_o scripture_n speak_v of_o dead_a work_n and_o call_v for_o repentance_n from_o they_o heb._n 6._o 1._o and_o purge_v our_o conscience_n from_o they_o heb._n 9_o 14._o by_o dead_a work_n i_o understand_v not_o only_o the_o gross_a pollution_n of_o the_o world_n but_o all_o work_n whatever_o that_o be_v do_v by_o a_o man_n void_a of_o the_o quicken_a spirit_n of_o god_n without_o union_n to_o christ_n there_o be_v no_o spiritual_a life_n for_o as_o the_o natural_a life_n result_v from_o the_o union_n of_o the_o soul_n with_o the_o body_n and_o the_o state_n of_o death_n be_v nothing_o but_o the_o
but_o of_o god_n joh._n 1._o 13._o and_o that_o god_n give_v power_n to_o the_o faint_a and_o strength_n to_o they_o that_o have_v no_o might_n in_o a_o way_n of_o wait_a isa_n 40._o 29_o 31._o i_o see_v from_o these_o consideration_n further_a ground_n of_o hope_n and_o wait_v upon_o god_n notwithstanding_o i_o find_v my_o strength_n perish_v from_o i_o neither_o shall_v the_o guilt_n of_o my_o sin_n discourage_v i_o from_o wait_v on_o god_n from_o expect_v of_o his_o holy_a spirit_n from_o go_v to_o christ_n the_o whole_a need_v not_o a_o physician_n christ_n deal_v with_o sinner_n mar._n 2._o 17._o he_o have_v say_v he_o will_v in_o no_o wise_a cast_v out_o they_o that_o come_v to_z him_z joh._n 6._o 37._o why_o do_v he_o shed_v his_o blood_n to_o wash_v away_o our_o sin_n how_o be_v he_o the_o lamb_n of_o god_n that_o take_v away_o the_o sin_n of_o the_o world_n if_o he_o shall_v cast_v off_o guilty_a soul_n when_o they_o come_v unto_o he_o be_v there_o not_o a_o fountain_n open_v for_o sin_n and_o for_o uncleanness_n to_o wash_v in_o zach._n 13._o 1._o what_o though_o i_o be_v in_o my_o blood_n yet_o if_o i_o go_v to_o christ_n he_o will_v not_o loathe_v i_o ezek._n 16._o 6_o 8._o but_o will_v sprinkle_v clean_a water_n upon_o i_o and_o wash_v i_o from_o my_o filthiness_n ezek._n 36._o 25._o when_o therefore_o i_o find_v guilt_n upon_o i_o i_o will_v look_v to_o jesus_n christ_n in_o such_o promise_n as_o these_o isa_n 1._o 18._o 43._o 25_o 26._o 44._o 21_o 22._o i_o will_v cry_v unto_o he_o that_o i_o may_v have_v the_o pardon_n of_o my_o sin_n seal_v up_o to_o my_o soul_n in_o these_o promise_n by_o his_o holy_a spirit_n neither_o shall_v my_o rebellious_a heart_n the_o perverseness_n and_o corruption_n of_o my_o nature_n discourage_v i_o but_o i_o will_v with_o david_n beg_v a_o new_a heart_n and_o a_o right_a spirit_n ps_n 51._o 10._o i_o will_v say_v as_o ephraim_n jer._n 31._o 18._o turn_v thou_o i_o and_o i_o shall_v be_v turn_v god_n have_v send_v christ_n to_o bless_v we_o in_o turn_v we_o from_o our_o iniquity_n act._n 3._o 26._o and_o to_o destroy_v what_o satan_n have_v wrought_v in_o we_o 1._o joh._n 3._o 8._o therefore_o when_o i_o feel_v sin_n prevail_v and_o lead_v i_o captive_a i_o will_v with_o paul_n cry_v out_o of_o this_o body_n of_o death_n rom._n 7._o 24._o and_o go_v to_o god_n in_o jesus_n christ_n through_o such_o promise_n as_o these_o mic._n 7._o 18_o 19_o rom._n 6._o 14._o math._n 11._o 28._o isa_n 45._o 22._o jer._n 31._o 33._o ezek._n 36._o 26._o when_o i_o feel_v myself_o graceless_a i_o will_v look_v to_o he_o who_o be_v full_a of_o grace_n joh._n 1._o 14._o 16._o and_o have_v promise_v to_o give_v grace_n ps_n 84._o 11_o even_o a_o heart_n to_o love_v he_o deut._n 30._o 6._o and_o to_o put_v his_o fear_n into_o we_o jer._n 32._o 40._o and_o to_o withhold_v no_o good_a thing_n if_o we_o endeavour_v to_o walk_v upright_o before_o he_o ps_n 84._o 11._o when_o i_o find_v the_o plague_n of_o a_o hard_a dead_a heart_n upon_o i_o i_o will_v look_v unto_o the_o lord_n who_o quicken_v the_o dead_a rom._n 4._o 17._o and_o can_v raise_v child_n to_o abraham_n out_o of_o stone_n math._n 3._o 9_o i_o will_v look_v unto_o he_o in_o his_o covenant_n promise_v to_o take_v away_o the_o heart_n of_o stone_n and_o to_o give_v a_o heart_n of_o flesh_n ezek._n 36._o 26._o in_o time_n of_o desertion_n when_o god_n withdraw_v the_o comfortable_a influence_n of_o his_o presence_n i_o will_v not_o be_v discourage_v but_o i_o will_v search_v my_o heart_n and_o try_v my_o way_n and_o see_v what_o cause_n i_o have_v give_v the_o lord_n to_o depart_v from_o i_o lam._n 3._o 40._o josh_n 7._o 11._o 12_o 13._o isa_n 59_o 2._o i_o will_v earnest_o seek_v the_o lord_n that_o he_o will_v return_v and_o shine_v upon_o i_o and_o lift_v up_o the_o light_n of_o his_o countenance_n upon_o my_o soul_n ps_n 80._o 3._o 89._o 46._o hos_fw-la 5._o 15._o i_o will_v not_o only_o pray_v but_o wait_v for_o his_o return_n ps_n 130._o 5_o 6._o isa_n 8._o 17._o lam._n 3._o 2_o 3._o etc._n etc._n with_o 26._o and_o in_o wait_v i_o will_v look_v unto_o the_o lord_n in_o these_o or_o like_a promise_n ps_n 103._o 8_o 9_o isa_n 54._o 6_o 7_o 8._o 57_o 16_o 17_o 18._o lam._n 3._o 31_o 32._o hos_fw-la 6._o 1_o 2_o 3._o joh._n 14._o 18._o when_o i_o have_v neglect_v my_o watch_n and_o fall_v and_o be_v unsteadfast_a in_o covenant_n with_o god_n i_o will_v not_o despair_v but_o look_v to_o god_n in_o christ_n that_o he_o will_v pardon_v my_o sin_n grant_v i_o repentance_n and_o restore_v i_o the_o covenant_n of_o grace_n admit_v of_o repentance_n after_o sin_n levit._n 26._o 21._o 40._o 41_o 42._o yea_o god_n have_v exalt_v christ_n to_o give_v repentance_n act._n 5._o 31._o have_v promise_v to_o heal_v backslide_n hos_fw-la 14._o 4._o invite_v backslider_n to_o return_v jer._n 3._o 1_o 12_o 13_o 14._o how_o do_v david_n behave_v himself_o when_o iniquity_n prevail_v over_o he_o he_o go_v to_o god_n to_o purge_v away_o his_o transgression_n ps_n 65._o 3._o he_o make_v supplication_n to_o god_n that_o he_o will_v not_o cast_v he_o out_o of_o his_o presence_n ps_n 51._o 11._o he_o confess_v his_o sin_n and_o god_n pardon_v he_o ps_n 32._o 5._o which_o shall_v encourage_v all_o the_o godly_a when_o they_o have_v fall_v to_o return_v to_o the_o lord_n ver_fw-la 6._o st._n john_n lay_v strict_a charge_n upon_o believer_n that_o they_o sin_v not_o but_o in_o case_n of_o sin_n he_o will_v not_o have_v they_o despair_v 1_o joh._n 2._o 1_o 2._o solomon_n pray_v to_o this_o purpose_n 1_o king_n 8._o and_o god_n accept_v ch_n 9_o 3._o when_o therefore_o thou_o have_v fall_v o_o my_o soul_n by_o thy_o iniquity_n and_o god_n hide_v his_o face_n and_o withdraw_v his_o gracious_a presence_n let_v thy_o uncircumcised_a heart_n be_v humble_v accept_v of_o the_o punishment_n of_o thy_o sin_n turn_v unto_o the_o lord_n and_o and_o say_v take_v away_o all_o iniquity_n and_o receive_v i_o gracious_o so_o will_v i_o praise_v thou_o leu._n 26._o 41._o hos_fw-la 14._o 2._o let_v not_o thy_o fall_n cause_v thou_o to_o depart_v from_o the_o live_n god_n though_o thou_o have_v play_v the_o harlot_n with_o many_o lover_n yet_o the_o lord_n call_v thou_o to_o return_v jer._n 3._o 1._o god_n command_v we_o to_o forgive_v our_o brother_n seven_o time_n a_o day_n if_o he_o return_v and_o repent_v luk._n 17._o 4._o yea_o not_o only_o seven_o time_n but_o seventy_o time_n seven_o math._n 18._o 21_o 22._o and_o will_v not_o god_n much_o more_o forgive_v we_o though_o we_o fall_v oft_o if_o we_o return_v and_o seek_v his_o face_n see_v his_o way_n be_v far_o above_o our_o way_n isa_n 55._o 7_o 9_o dec._n 9_o 1655._o have_v find_v much_o formality_n in_o my_o duty_n on_o the_o sabbath_n and_o see_v myself_o lose_v in_o they_o i_o put_v the_o question_n to_o my_o soul_n what_o if_o thou_o die_v this_o night_n what_o be_v thy_o hope_n how_o will_v thou_o appear_v before_o god_n righteousness_n of_o thy_o own_o thou_o have_v none_o to_o trust_v to_o thou_o see_v how_o thou_o sin_v every_o day_n and_o how_o full_a of_o sin_n thy_o best_a duty_n be_v upon_o this_o enquiry_n the_o good_a spirit_n of_o god_n bring_v to_o my_o remembrance_n 1_o cor._n 1._o 30._o god_n have_v make_v christ_n righteousness_n to_o we_o and_o jer._n 23._o 6._o this_o be_v the_o name_n by_o which_o he_o shall_v be_v call_v the_o lord_n our_o righteousness_n which_o be_v comfort_n to_o i_o and_o inquire_v what_o warrant_v i_o have_v to_o believe_v myself_o to_o be_v a_o sharer_n in_o this_o righteousness_n and_o that_o i_o stand_v accept_v of_o god_n by_o virtue_n of_o this_o righteousness_n i_o see_v from_o rom._n 3._o 21_o 22._o that_o this_o righteousness_n be_v upon_o all_o that_o believe_v now_o through_o the_o lord_n goodness_n and_o to_o his_o praise_n be_v it_o speak_v i_o have_v ofttimes_o find_v my_o heart_n not_o only_o to_o long_o after_o pardon_v and_o renovation_n but_o to_o trust_v in_o christ_n and_o in_o god_n through_o he_o for_o pardon_v mercy_n and_o renew_v grace_n and_o all_o other_o good_a thing_n dec._n 16._o i_o find_v the_o lord_n gracious_o present_a with_o i_o in_o my_o morning_n meditation_n on_o my_o bed_n and_o my_o soul_n be_v much_o refresh_v with_o mr._n simond_n sermon_n god_n speak_v a_o suitable_a word_n by_o he_o to_o my_o soul_n from_o mat._n 15._o 23._o but_o he_o answer_v she_o not_o a_o word_n god_n may_v sometime_o defer_v to_o give_v a_o answer_n to_o a_o gracious_a and_o well_o qualify_v prayer_n 1._o to_o correct_v our_o
a_o evident_a answer_n of_o prayer_n and_o a_o fulfil_n of_o that_o promise_n prov._n 28._o 27._o he_o that_o give_v unto_o the_o poor_a shall_v not_o lack_v april_n 24._o be_v desire_v to_o go_v to_o a_o poor_a christian_a i_o promise_v to_o go_v there_o be_v only_o two_o maid_n in_o the_o house_n i_o consider_v whether_o it_o may_v not_o prove_v some_o scandal_n to_o go_v but_o consider_v also_o she_o be_v a_o member_n of_o christ_n and_o therefore_o i_o ought_v to_o administer_v to_o her_o soul_n i_o resolve_v to_o commit_v the_o take_a care_n of_o my_o name_n to_o the_o lord_n and_o to_o do_v my_o duty_n i_o beg_v of_o he_o that_o he_o will_v secure_v i_o from_o reproach_n and_o as_o i_o go_v a_o honest_a poor_a man_n meet_v i_o to_o who_o i_o tell_v whither_o i_o be_v go_v and_o ask_v he_o to_o go_v along_o with_o i_o he_o be_v willing_a and_o do_v so_o i_o look_v upon_o he_o as_o send_v by_o the_o providence_n of_o god_n in_o answer_n to_o my_o prayer_n these_o be_v some_o of_o those_o observation_n and_o experience_n which_o he_o record_v during_o his_o continuance_n at_o cambridge_n upon_o his_o removal_n from_o thence_o he_o intermit_v this_o practice_n for_o some_o year_n but_o resume_v it_o again_o octob._n 1662._o god_n put_v it_o into_o my_o heart_n as_o at_o other_o time_n so_o especial_o on_o wednesdays_n the_o day_n on_o which_o i_o be_v wont_a to_o preach_v my_o lecture_n when_o i_o be_v not_o divert_v by_o some_o unexpected_a providence_n to_o lament_v after_o the_o lord_n who_o have_v cast_v i_o out_o of_o my_o employment_n in_o his_o vineyard_n and_o to_o seek_v to_o he_o for_o a_o discovery_n of_o the_o cause_n for_o which_o he_o contend_v with_o i_o and_o that_o he_o will_v show_v i_o for_o what_o sin_n or_o sin_n he_o have_v send_v this_o sad_a affliction_n and_o that_o he_o will_v give_v i_o a_o sanctify_a use_n thereof_o by_o purge_v out_o my_o sin_n and_o make_v i_o more_o holy_a and_o that_o he_o will_v restore_v i_o again_o to_o some_o employment_n in_o his_o vineyard_n when_o and_o where_o it_o shall_v seem_v good_a in_o his_o sight_n be_v sad_a and_o deject_a because_o i_o have_v sin_v now_o i_o be_v under_o the_o afflict_a hand_n of_o god_n i_o be_v very_o much_o revive_v by_o isa_n 57_o 17_o 18._o i_o smite_v he_o he_o go_v on_o in_o the_o way_n of_o his_o own_o heart_n i_o have_v see_v his_o way_n and_o will_v heal_v he_o have_v afterward_o sin_v again_o and_o be_v overpowred_n by_o a_o corruption_n which_o have_v oft_o prevail_v over_o i_o i_o be_v cause_v to_o observe_v from_o that_o scripture_n further_o that_o it_o be_v not_o only_o a_o single_a act_n of_o sin_n which_o be_v commit_v but_o he_o go_v on_o in_o the_o way_n of_o his_o heart_n and_o god_n say_v i_o have_v see_v his_o way_n and_o will_v heal_v he_o it_o be_v a_o stay_n to_o my_o faith_n here_o i_o observe_v what_o i_o have_v often_o find_v viz._n 1._o dejection_n be_v a_o forerunner_n of_o consolation_n seldom_o have_v i_o have_v trouble_v upon_o my_o spirit_n but_o if_o i_o have_v eye_v and_o follow_v after_o god_n he_o have_v take_v it_o off_o by_o some_o word_n of_o promise_n 2._o the_o observe_v and_o ponder_v of_o every_o word_n and_o circumstance_n in_o a_o promise_n be_v of_o great_a use_n as_o it_o have_v be_v to_o i_o 3._o god_n open_v his_o promise_n gradual_o sometime_o hint_v and_o discover_v one_o thing_n and_o then_o another_o in_o the_o promise_n be_v foil_v by_o sin_n i_o be_v raise_v to_o my_o former_a hope_n and_o affiance_n in_o god_n by_o phil_n children_n of_o god_n till_o the_o come_n of_o christ_n be_v another_o time_n foil_v with_o the_o same_o corruption_n and_o my_o heart_n sink_v in_o a_o despondent_a frame_n i_o be_v much_o revive_v from_o jam._n 4._o 5._o 6._o he_o give_v more_o grace_n where_o i_o see_v that_o even_o our_o strong_a sin_n such_o as_o our_o corrupt_a nature_n be_v most_o prone_a to_o and_o be_v deep_o root_v in_o our_o heart_n and_o spirit_n be_v conquerable_a by_o god_n grace_n be_v trouble_v that_o i_o have_v sin_v against_o god_n under_o his_o correct_a hand_n and_o have_v thereby_o lose_v my_o former_a comfort_n which_o god_n have_v speak_v to_o my_o soul_n after_o my_o former_a backslide_n i_o sigh_v over_o the_o great_a treachery_n and_o unstedfastness_n of_o my_o heart_n and_o cast_v about_o in_o my_o thought_n where_o i_o shall_v find_v a_o suitable_a word_n to_o fix_v on_o god_n bring_v to_o my_o remembrance_n isa_n 48._o 8_o 9_o i_o know_v that_o thou_o will_v deal_v very_o treacherous_o for_o my_o name_n sake_n will_v i_o defer_v my_o anger_n while_o i_o be_v muse_v and_o ponder_v hereon_o and_o have_v new_a hope_n put_v into_o i_o the_o lord_n let_v in_o further_a comfort_n and_o encouragement_n from_o vers_fw-la 10_o 11._o which_o be_v render_v by_o piscat_fw-la behold_v i_o will_v refine_v thou_o and_o i_o will_v make_v thou_o a_o choice_n one_o in_o the_o furnace_n of_o affliction_n for_o my_o own_o sake_n even_o for_o my_o own_o sake_n will_v i_o do_v it_o which_o give_v i_o abundant_a refreshment_n and_o do_v marvellous_o strengthen_v my_o hope_n in_o god_n this_o be_v give_v i_o in_o when_o i_o have_v set_v apart_o some_o time_n to_o humble_v my_o soul_n apr._n 5._o 1665._o i_o set_v apart_o that_o day_n for_o fast_v and_o prayer_n on_o behalf_n of_o my_o daughter_n elinor_n that_o have_v be_v so_o long_o sick_a and_o in_o the_o evening_n have_v my_o faith_n revive_v from_o isa_n 44._o 3_o i_o will_v pour_v my_o spirit_n upon_o thy_o seed_n apr._n 7._o i_o begin_v the_o day_n with_o discourse_n with_o some_o friend_n before_o i_o have_v be_v at_o my_o private_a communion_n with_o god_n i_o meet_v with_o a_o gentle_a rebuke_n from_o the_o providence_n of_o god_n in_o my_o family_n affair_n and_o my_o heart_n be_v flat_a in_o family_n duty_n and_o straighten_a in_o private_a i_o take_v this_o as_o a_o item_n to_o begin_v with_o god_n before_o i_o converse_v with_o man_n in_o the_o evening_n god_n come_v in_o gracious_o to_o i_o in_o my_o family_n exercise_n apr._n 9_o lord_n day_n i_o be_v much_o discompose_v in_o my_o spirit_n in_o the_o morning_n by_o reason_n of_o a_o foil_n sin_n have_v give_v i_o the_o evening_n before_o satan_n will_v have_v boat_n i_o off_o from_o preach_v in_o my_o family_n but_o i_o perform_v my_o morning_n exercise_n and_o continue_v deject_v till_o the_o evening_n and_o then_o in_o family_n prayer_n god_n gracious_o revive_v i_o with_o that_o promise_n hos_fw-la 11._o 10._o they_o shall_v walk_v after_o the_o lord_n in_o connexion_n with_o vers_fw-la 7._o my_o people_n be_v bend_v to_o backslide_v though_o they_o call_v they_o to_o the_o most_o high_a none_o at_o all_o will_v exalt_v he_o where_o two_o thing_n be_v a_o great_a relief_n to_o my_o faith_n 1._o god_n promise_v they_o shall_v walk_v after_o he_o notwithstanding_o their_o habitual_a proness_n to_o backslide_v from_o god_n 2._o notwithstanding_o their_o refuse_v to_o exalt_v the_o lord_n though_o call_v to_o it_o yet_o within_o a_o little_a time_n i_o be_v again_o foil_v by_o my_o corruption_n which_o make_v i_o see_v what_o a_o poor_a creature_n i_o be_v it_o leave_v of_o god_n to_o myself_o may._n 8._o at_o eleven_o of_o the_o clock_n at_o night_n my_o daughter_n elinor_n die_v after_o a_o long_a sickness_n god_n give_v i_o several_a opportunity_n of_o recommend_v her_o soul_n to_o he_o in_o prayer_n at_o some_o whereof_o my_o heart_n be_v much_o affect_v and_o my_o faith_n and_o hope_v act_v on_o god_n for_o the_o eternal_a welfare_n of_o her_o soul_n which_o make_v her_o departure_n easy_a to_o i_o my_o ground_n be_v gen._n 17._o i_o will_v establish_v my_o covenant_n between_o i_o and_o thou_o and_o thy_o seed_n after_o thou_o for_o a_o everlasting_a covenant_n to_o be_v a_o god_n to_o thou_o and_o thy_o seed_n after_o thou_o i_o consider_v that_o this_o covenant_n be_v to_o give_v life_n mal._n 2._o 5._o and_o whereas_o the_o thought_n of_o the_o child_n be_v original_a and_o actual_a sin_n as_o frowardness_n etc._n etc._n may_v make_v i_o fearful_a of_o its_o estate_n it_o be_v bring_v to_o my_o mind_n that_o the_o covenant_n be_v to_o give_v pardon_n of_o sin_n heb._n 8._o 10_o 12._o and_o whereas_o faith_n and_o regeneration_n be_v necessary_a to_o salvation_n i_o consider_v further_a that_o the_o covenant_n be_v to_o give_v all_o thing_n necessary_a to_o salvation_n 2_o sam._n 23._o 5._o this_o be_v all_o my_o salvation_n beside_o the_o consideration_n of_o the_o covenant_n god_n give_v i_o other_o encouragement_n to_o hope_v in_o reference_n to_o my_o child_n as_o from_o math._n 19_o 14
meet_v with_o in_o my_o course_n of_o private_a read_n ps_n 19_o 13._o keep_v back_o thy_o servant_n from_o presumptuous_a sin_n let_v they_o not_o have_v dominion_n over_o i_o where_o i_o consider_v 1._o that_o david_n find_v in_o his_o heart_n a_o proness_n to_o presumptuous_a sin_n which_o make_v he_o cry_v out_o keep_v back_o thy_o servant_n etc._n etc._n 2._o he_o be_v not_o without_o fear_n or_o danger_n lest_o presumptuous_a sin_n shall_v get_v the_o dominion_n over_o he_o for_o he_o pray_v let_v they_o not_o have_v dominion_n 3._o when_o he_o find_v it_o thus_o with_o himself_o he_o call_v himself_o god_n servant_a keep_v back_o thy_o servant_n this_o word_n come_v when_o my_o heart_n have_v be_v upon_o the_o border_n of_o a_o presumptuous_a sin_n do_v much_o affect_v i_o febr._n 6._o be_v a_o day_n of_o humiliation_n i_o be_v much_o indispose_v to_o the_o duty_n of_o the_o day_n i_o find_v my_o heart_n unfit_a to_o pray_v in_o private_a and_o to_o perform_v family_n exercise_v the_o sense_n of_o guilt_n have_v cloud_v and_o bow_v down_o my_o soul_n in_o the_o evening_n god_n revive_v my_o soul_n with_o isa_n 64._o 6_o 7_o 8._o they_o complain_v they_o be_v all_o as_o a_o unclean_a thing_n their_o righteousness_n as_o filthy_a rag_n there_o be_v a_o flag_a of_o the_o spirit_n of_o prayer_n and_o this_o in_o a_o time_n of_o great_a judgement_n as_o v_o 10_o 11._o yet_o they_o say_v but_o now_o thou_o o_o lord_n be_v our_o father_n this_o suit_v my_o condition_n and_o encourage_v i_o to_o believe_v my_o relation_n to_o god_n and_o his_o to_o i_o as_o my_o father_n though_o i_o find_v myself_o under_o the_o foresay_a distemper_n i_o be_v also_o support_v against_o my_o sin_n with_o 1_o joh._n 2._o 24._o let_v that_o abide_v in_o you_o which_o you_o have_v hear_v from_o the_o beginning_n if_o that_o which_o you_o have_v hear_v from_o the_o beginning_n shall_v remain_v in_o you_o you_o shall_v continue_v in_o the_o father_n and_o the_o son_n by_o which_o i_o be_v encourage_v to_o hold_v fast_o what_o instruction_n comfort_n and_o support_v i_o have_v former_o receive_v from_o god_n that_o which_o you_o have_v hear_v viz._n from_o the_o teach_n of_o the_o spirit_n joh._n 6._o 45._o from_o the_o beginning_n viz._n from_o the_o time_n they_o begin_v to_o believe_v in_o christ_n heb._n 3._o 14._o nou._n 28._o 1669._o be_v saturday_n i_o be_v visit_v with_o a_o fever_n when_o i_o be_v under_o the_o visitation_n i_o look_v over_o my_o evidence_n for_o heaven_n &_o have_v comfortable_a hope_n of_o my_o salvation_n from_o several_a promise_n whereby_o the_o fear_n of_o death_n be_v remove_v my_o life_n be_v in_o hazard_n many_o prayer_n be_v put_v up_o for_o i_o god_n direct_v to_o the_o timely_a use_n of_o proper_a mean_n and_o give_v his_o blessing_n and_o restore_v i_o to_o my_o work_n on_o the_o four_o lord_n day_n as_o a_o return_n to_o prayer_n in_o my_o sickness_n before_o the_o danger_n be_v probable_o pass_v in_o the_o night_n season_n i_o have_v very_o clear_a and_o awful_a apprehension_n of_o the_o majesty_n of_o god_n as_o though_o i_o have_v hear_v god_n speak_v to_o i_o out_o of_o isa_n 57_o 15._o i_o who_o be_o the_o high_a and_o lofty_a one_o that_o inhabit_v eternity_n etc._n etc._n and_o then_o methinks_v it_o be_v say_v to_o i_o surgite_fw-la ministri_fw-la &_o servi_fw-la praedicate_fw-la evangelium_fw-la ad_fw-la conversionem_fw-la peccatorum_fw-la arise_v you_o minister_n and_o servant_n of_o god_n and_o preach_v the_o gospel_n for_o the_o conversion_n of_o sinner_n and_o afterward_o it_o be_v say_v to_o i_o you_o shall_v not_o die_v but_o live_v and_o declare_v the_o work_n of_o the_o lord_n fear_v thou_o not_o thou_o have_v bear_v witness_n to_o my_o name_n in_o this_o place_n thou_o shall_v bear_v witness_n also_o to_o my_o name_n where_o i_o shall_v call_v thou_o to_o which_o my_o soul_n bow_v down_o and_o i_o reply_v lord_n i_o be_o willing_a to_o follow_v thou_o if_o thou_o shall_v satisfy_v i_o that_o thou_o call_v i_o i_o can_v not_o certain_o tell_v whether_o i_o be_v awake_a or_o sleep_a or_o slumber_v but_o the_o matter_n be_v so_o affect_v coherent_a and_o come_v with_o some_o power_n i_o lay_v it_o up_o in_o my_o heart_n not_o know_v but_o it_o may_v be_v useful_a to_o i_o jan._n 30._o 1671._o my_o treatise_n of_o family_n instruction_n be_v finish_v and_o publish_v i_o resolve_v after_o several_a time_n seek_v god_n and_o consult_v with_o my_o own_o soul_n to_o set_v upon_o compose_v a_o treatise_n of_o glorify_v god_n the_o ground_n or_o reason_n induce_v i_o hereunto_o be_v 1._o the_o command_v give_v to_o all_o person_n in_o all_o nation_n to_o declare_v the_o glory_n of_o god_n 1_o chron._n 16._o 23_o 24._o i_o see_v here_o i_o may_v lawful_o yea_o it_o be_v my_o duty_n to_o do_v what_o i_o can_v to_o set_v forth_o the_o glory_n of_o god_n and_o see_v i_o be_v take_v off_o from_o my_o public_a preach_v i_o may_v do_v it_o more_o beneficial_o by_o write_v and_o print_v 2._o my_o spirit_n have_v be_v for_o several_a year_n put_v upon_o and_o stir_v up_o to_o write_v on_o this_o subject_a i_o make_v a_o little_a beginning_n in_o the_o year_n 1664._o but_o lay_v it_o aside_o and_o in_o time_n of_o sickness_n i_o have_v find_v a_o lothness_n to_o die_v till_o that_o work_n be_v do_v and_o have_v meet_v with_o many_o cross_a providence_n as_o if_o send_v with_o a_o tacit_n reproof_n for_o neglect_v this_o work_n now_o the_o stir_v up_o the_o spirit_n to_o a_o good_a work_n be_v of_o god_n and_o part_n of_o god_n call_v to_o the_o work_n exod._n 36._o 2._o ezr._n 1._o 5._o hagg._n 1._o 14._o 3._o i_o be_v under_o many_o engagement_n to_o glorify_v god_n as_o 1_o st_z the_o many_o and_o great_a mercy_n i_o have_v receive_v for_o my_o soul_n by_o the_o teach_n and_o consolation_n of_o his_o spirit_n and_o many_o outward_a mercy_n above_o my_o other_o relation_n which_o be_v engagement_n to_o glorify_v god_n ps_n 86._o 12_o 13._o 2_o lie_n the_o eminent_a deliverance_n i_o have_v have_v from_o sickness_n the_o pestilence_n and_o other_o trouble_v psal_n 50._o 15._o 3_o lie_n the_o wonderful_a preservation_n i_o have_v have_v from_o my_o enemy_n notwithstanding_o all_o the_o hazard_n i_o have_v run_v of_o fall_v into_o their_o hand_n by_o preach_v the_o gospel_n at_o home_n and_o abroad_o which_o shall_v engage_v i_o to_o extol_v and_o glorify_v god_n psal_n 30._o 1._o 4._o i_o do_v hope_n for_o benefit_n to_o my_o own_o soul_n both_o by_o be_v further_o enlighten_v into_o the_o knowledge_n and_o excite_v to_o the_o practice_n of_o glorify_v god_n while_o i_o be_v study_v to_o instruct_v and_o excite_v other_o thereto_o july_n 17._o 1672._o god_n have_v open_v a_o door_n for_o the_o free_a exercise_n of_o my_o ministry_n by_o his_o majesty_n most_o gracious_a declaration_n i_o be_v desire_v both_o at_o ipswich_n and_o colchester_n to_o minister_v to_o they_o i_o have_v discouragement_n as_o from_o the_o uncertainty_n of_o the_o time_n not_o know_v whether_o this_o liberty_n will_v continue_v or_o a_o time_n of_o trouble_n and_o persecution_n arise_v the_o difference_n and_o animosity_n that_o be_v among_o professor_n and_o the_o enmity_n that_o be_v on_o the_o part_n of_o the_o adversary_n i_o consider_v of_o it_o and_o have_v encouragement_n from_o the_o word_n thereto_o as_o 1_o pet._n 5._o 2._o 4._o with_o vers_n 7._o as_o also_o from_o josh_n 1._o 9_o joshua_n have_v difficult_a work_n before_o he_o potent_a enemy_n that_o dwell_v in_o fence_a city_n the_o people_n with_o who_o he_o have_v to_o do_v have_v so_o exasperate_v moses_n his_o spirit_n by_o their_o frequent_a murmur_n that_o once_o he_o cry_v out_o to_o god_n to_o be_v kill_v out_o of_o hand_n that_o he_o may_v not_o see_v his_o own_o wretchedness_n numb_a 11._o 15._o another_o time_n he_o speak_v so_o unadvised_o with_o his_o lip_n that_o he_o anger_v god_n and_o be_v shut_v out_o of_o canaan_n joshua_n may_v well_o fear_v when_o he_o be_v to_o enter_v on_o this_o work_n therefore_o god_n speak_v four_o time_n to_o he_o to_o encourage_v he_o be_v strong_a be_v of_o good_a courage_n etc._n etc._n and_o give_v he_o two_o argument_n to_o encourage_v he_o 1_o sy_n his_o call_n have_v not_o i_o command_v thou_o 2_o lie_n a_o promise_n of_o his_o presence_n as_o his_o god_n whence_o i_o ob_v 1._o god_n will_v be_v with_o his_o people_n in_o all_o place_n whithersoever_o they_o go_v 2._o the_o promise_n of_o god_n presence_n may_v take_v off_o all_o fear_n arise_v either_o from_o the_o temper_n of_o the_o people_n with_o who_o we_o shall_v have_v to_o do_v or_o the_o difficulty_n of_o our_o work_n or_o
word_n ps_n 119._o 165._o great_a peace_n have_v they_o that_o love_v thy_o law_n he_o receive_v the_o spirit_n which_o be_v of_o god_n and_o know_v the_o thing_n that_o be_v free_o give_v to_o he_o of_o god_n and_o rejoice_v therein_o 1_o cor._n 2._o 12._o as_o to_o his_o conversion_n which_o to_o some_o that_o have_v live_v long_o in_o ignorance_n security_n sensuality_n profaneness_n and_o forgetfulness_n of_o god_n be_v very_o sensible_a he_o be_v from_o tender_a year_n restrain_v and_o well_o incline_v it_o be_v not_o so_o remarkable_a to_o he_o the_o most_o discernible_a part_n thereof_o be_v when_o he_o be_v a_o young_a scollar_n in_o cambridge_n nor_o do_v he_o then_o experience_n very_o notable_a work_n of_o the_o spirit_n of_o bondage_n which_o occasion_v some_o trouble_n to_o his_o mind_n and_o he_o fear_v his_o humiliation_n be_v not_o deep_a enough_o but_o he_o receive_v full_a satisfaction_n from_o a_o passage_n in_o a_o sermon_n which_o he_o hear_v preach_v by_o that_o worthy_a and_o excellent_a servant_n of_o jesus_n christ_n mr._n richard_n vines_n than_o master_n of_o pembroke_n hall_n he_o have_v sometime_o say_v to_o his_o friend_n that_o he_o be_v not_o much_o acquaint_v with_o those_o ravish_a joy_n which_o some_o have_v feel_v but_o yet_o have_v that_o comfort_n and_o joy_n in_o the_o holy_a ghost_n which_o give_v he_o satisfaction_n his_o method_n and_o manner_n be_v to_o derive_v his_o assurance_n and_o comfort_n from_o the_o write_a word_n of_o the_o truth_n whereof_o he_o will_v say_v he_o have_v such_o a_o full_a persuasion_n as_o be_v the_o sure_a word_n of_o god_n that_o he_o do_v more_o firm_o believe_v it_o than_o if_o a_o angel_n shall_v speak_v to_o he_o from_o heaven_n according_a to_o 2_o pet._n 1._o 17_o 18_o 19_o 20_o 21._o he_o can_v not_o satisfy_v himself_o with_o the_o expectation_n or_o apprehension_n of_o the_o immediate_a sole_a testimony_n of_o the_o spirit_n without_o the_o word_n but_o will_v compare_v himself_o with_o the_o word_n frequent_o practise_v the_o duty_n of_o self_n examination_n search_v for_o those_o grace_n disposition_n and_o operation_n in_o his_o heart_n which_o be_v promise_v in_o the_o word_n and_o to_o which_o the_o promise_n be_v make_v which_o the_o spirit_n of_o god_n enlighten_v he_o to_o discern_v and_o enable_v he_o in_o a_o way_n of_o argumentation_n to_o infer_v thence_o his_o interest_n in_o christ_n and_o the_o covenant_n of_o god_n for_o his_o satisfaction_n and_o spiritual_a consolation_n and_o the_o assurance_n which_o he_o attain_v in_o this_o method_n and_o by_o these_o mean_v he_o thus_o record_v his_o evidence_n 1._o evidence_n of_o true_a and_o save_v faith_n after_o my_o recovery_n from_o a_o sickness_n i_o set_v myself_o to_o examine_v and_o prove_v my_o faith_n to_o see_v if_o it_o be_v true_a and_o save_a because_o pardon_v of_o sin_n freedom_n from_o condemnation_n eternal_a life_n with_o other_o great_a blessing_n be_v promise_v to_o believer_n and_o much_o of_o our_o comfort_n in_o sickness_n and_o health_n in_o life_n and_o death_n depend_v on_o the_o knowledge_n and_o proof_n of_o our_o faith_n and_o that_o i_o do_v believe_v in_o christ_n with_o a_o true_a and_o save_v faith_n i_o be_v satisfy_v thus_o 1._o from_o those_o expression_n of_o scripture_n wherein_o the_o nature_n and_o essential_a act_n of_o faith_n be_v set_v forth_o as_o 1._o come_v to_o christ_n joh._n 6._o 35._o he_o that_o come_v he_o that_o believe_v on_o i_o come_v be_v believe_v my_o conscience_n bear_v i_o witness_v that_o i_o be_o come_v to_o christ_n for_o christ_n himself_o and_o all_o his_o benefit_n i_o sin_v my_o soul_n draw_v to_o christ_n and_o upon_o all_o occasion_n look_v and_o go_v to_o he_o 2._o receive_v joh._n 1._o 12._o as_o many_o as_o receive_v he_o even_o as_o many_o as_o believe_v on_o his_o name_n receive_v be_v believe_v now_o through_o grace_n i_o find_v my_o heart_n willing_o receive_v and_o thankful_o accept_v jesus_n christ_n as_o god_n offer_v he_o in_o the_o gospel_n even_o a_o whole_a christ_n christ_n in_o all_o his_o office_n to_o be_v to_o i_o prophet_n priest_n and_o king_n 3_o trust_v eph._n 1._o 13._o in_o who_o you_o trust_v you_o believe_v trust_v be_v believe_v this_o also_o i_o find_v that_o god_n have_v give_v i_o a_o heart_n to_o rely_v on_o christ_n for_o righteousness_n grace_n and_o life_n 2_o from_o the_o ground_n of_o my_o faith_n which_o be_v the_o word_n of_o god_n it_o be_v through_o my_o knowledge_n and_o acquaintance_n with_o the_o word_n that_o i_o have_v be_v bring_v to_o believe_v in_o christ_n and_o through_o christ_n in_o the_o father_n that_o send_v he_o and_o i_o read_v such_o as_o believe_v through_o the_o word_n be_v true_a believer_n for_o who_o christ_n make_v intercession_n joh._n 17._o 20._o and_o who_o have_v everlasting_a life_n and_o shall_v not_o come_v into_o condemnation_n joh._n 5._o 24._o 3_o from_o this_o property_n and_o effect_n of_o faith_n viz._n prize_v christ_n 1_o pet._n 2._o 7._o unto_o you_o that_o believe_v christ_n it_o be_v precious_a the_o apostle_n speak_v of_o the_o faith_n of_o god_n elect_v ch_n 1._o 2._o and_o of_o save_a faith_n ch_n 1._o 9_o now_o i_o find_v christ_n be_v precious_a to_o i_o so_o precious_a to_o my_o soul_n that_o i_o value_v and_o prefer_v he_o above_o the_o whole_a world_n i_o account_v his_o blood_n precious_a which_o cleanse_v i_o from_o all_o sin_n the_o promise_v exceed_o great_a and_o precious_a which_o in_o he_o be_v yea_o and_o amen_o christ_n be_v so_o precious_a to_o i_o that_o i_o be_o willing_a to_o suffer_v for_o he_o phil._n 1._o 29._o yea_o i_o choose_v a_o suffer_a condition_n for_o christ_n before_o the_o honour_n riches_n and_o pleasure_n of_o the_o world_n when_o they_o can_v be_v enjoy_v without_o sin_v against_o he_o heb._n 11._o 24_o 25_o 26._o i_o be_o willing_a to_o take_v up_o the_o cross_n and_o forsake_v all_o thing_n for_o he_o evidence_n that_o i_o be_v one_o of_o god_n servant_n sept._n 30._o 1666._o i_o consider_v with_o myself_o what_o evidence_n i_o have_v that_o i_o be_v one_o of_o god_n servant_n and_o be_v satisfy_v from_o these_o scripture_n rom._n 6._o 16._o know_v you_o not_o that_o to_o who_o you_o yield_v yourselves_o servant_n to_o obey_v his_o servant_n you_o be_v to_o who_o you_o obey_v whether_o of_o sin_n unto_o death_n or_o of_o obedience_n unto_o righteousness_n i_o find_v god_n have_v give_v i_o a_o heart_n to_o yield_v my_o self_n to_o he_o nehem._n 1._o 11._o o_o lord_n i_o beseech_v thou_o let_v now_o thy_o ear_n be_v attentive_a to_o the_o prayer_n of_o thy_o servant_n and_o to_o the_o prayer_n of_o thy_o servant_n that_o desire_v to_o fear_v thy_o name_n here_o i_o see_v that_o such_o as_o desire_v to_o fear_n god_n be_v account_v god_n servant_n which_o through_o grace_n i_o do_v some_o doubt_n arise_v in_o my_o heart_n whether_o i_o be_v one_o of_o god_n servant_n because_o it_o be_v say_v joh._n 8._o 34._o very_o very_o i_o say_v unto_o you_o that_o whosoever_o commit_v sin_n be_v the_o servant_n of_o sin_n for_o remove_v this_o doubt_n i_o consider_v 1._o that_o the_o meaning_n of_o this_o scripture_n be_v not_o that_o no_o man_n that_o have_v sin_n in_o his_o heart_n or_o do_v sin_n in_o his_o life_n can_v be_v god_n servant_n but_o be_v a_o servant_n of_o sin_n for_o then_o god_n shall_v have_v no_o servant_n upon_o the_o face_n of_o the_o earth_n eccl._n 7._o 20._o there_o be_v not_o a_o just_a man_n upon_o earth_n that_o do_v good_a and_o sin_v not_o joh._n 1._o 8._o if_o we_o say_v that_o we_o have_v no_o sin_n we_o deceive_v ourselves_o and_o the_o truth_n be_v not_o in_o we_o 2._o it_o be_v say_v that_o the_o servant_n of_o sin_n be_v free_a from_o righteousness_n rom._n 6._o 20._o now_o through_o mercy_n i_o follow_v after_o righteousness_n and_o find_v something_o of_o it_o whence_o i_o conclude_v i_o be_v not_o the_o servant_n of_o sin_n 3._o i_o see_v that_o david_n hold_v this_o conclusion_n that_o he_o be_v one_o of_o god_n servant_n though_o he_o be_v compass_v about_o with_o infirmity_n yea_o even_o at_o such_o time_n as_o he_o be_v under_o a_o sense_n of_o his_o sinful_a infirmity_n ps_n 116._o 11_o 16._o o_o lord_n true_o i_o be_o thy_o servant_n i_o be_o thy_o servant_n yet_o he_o have_v say_v in_o his_o haste_n unbelieve_o all_o man_n be_v liar_n david_n after_o he_o have_v commit_v the_o great_a sin_n of_o number_v the_o people_n against_o the_o counsel_n and_o advice_n of_o his_o friend_n confess_v that_o he_o have_v sin_v great_o and_o do_v very_o foolish_o yet_o call_v himself_o a_o servant_n of_o the_o lord_n 2_o sam._n 24._o 10._o 4._o as_o i_o be_v consider_v