this exercise is a thing of greater difficulty to me than such easie Undertakers are aware of and really to perform all the Duties I am to enquire into in a manner well-pleasing to our heavenly Father will cost them and us all more pains than only to read or preach an hour or two upon them which yet might lead into many important concerns of government and obedience Believe it herein we have all need enough of serious and frequent teacbing again and again (a) Heb. 5.12 for our conduct in the Relations whereunto God hath cast us In order then both to my preaching at present and all our future practice as a ground for the Resolution of this Question Question What are the Duties of Parents and Children and how are they to be managed according to Scripture I am directed to the words read Wherein we have the mutual offices of Children and Parents required and virtually at least prescribed with annexed reasons to enforce them severally upon each Relatives which afford this Proposition That God's pleasure and Childrens encouragement should move Christian Children to obedience and Parents to a moderate government in all things Here is a large theme but I shall endeavour as nigh as I can to speak much in a little hoping I shall obtain your pardon though I let slip some considerable Particulars if by some general anticipations and cautions I do in a Sermon decline those numerous special Cases which in a larger Treatise on this Subject might fairly step in and lay claim to some special satisfaction It were an excursion for me now to speak of Children and Parents in any other than the most famous signification * Analogum per se positam stat pro famostore analogato of the words taken not figuratively but properly not for those in a political but natural Relation yet as under the Christian Institution vvhere vve are ever to have regard to our blessed Lord and Master Indeed Children comprehend both sons and daughters 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 Gen 46 29. the fruit of the body not excluding grand-children of what age or quality soever as indissolubly bound in duty to those who begot and brought them forth of both sexes Father and Mother the Parents of their flesh (b) Heb. 12.9 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 Prov. 23.22 from whom they were originally derived And that the Apostle doth here direct the command to Inferiors before Superiors as in the 18. verse and elsewhere (c) Eph 5.22 6.1 5. to Children before Parents is not that Children and their duties are first in order of nature or time for there are offices of inbred parental love and care before they can be known or observ'd by children 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 but writing chiefly to children come to the use of reason he begins with them who are subject and ought first to perform duty The anticipation of time here connoting the honour due to Superiors he doth in the first place put those in mind of their duty who are to obey as usually more defective rather than those that have authority over them in this oeconomical conjunction Either in that this office of obedience is less easie and pleasing to our nature than that of parental love which is allur'd to exert it self readily by the right discharge of the former or in that the subjection of children is the foundation on which the good government of Parents doth depend and a means to make themselves ready for that authority which else they will be unfit for as Antoninus lays down the axiom which many of the moralists used viz. You cannot well govern others unless first governed * 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 For my method then in answering the complicated enquiry before me whiles I follow the Apostle in my Text I shall need no Apology to insist on I. The Duty of Children with the extent thereof urged from that which is most cogent to perswade to it and disswade from the neglect of it II. The Office of Parents enforc'd from the special consideration of that the Apostle suggests to move to it III. The manner and means of managing both offices or discharging both duties more generally and particularly according to the mind of God in his word The two former may be look'd upon as the explication of my Text and Proposition and an exhortation press'd with reasons or motives to the Duties and the last as Directions to perform them I. The Duty of Children with the extent thereof urged from that which is most cogent to perswade to it and disswade from the neglect of it This is express'd and imply'd in the former of the verses I have read to you wherein we have three Particulars to be spoken to 1. The Duty 2. Extent or latitude of it 3. Motive to it 1. 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 1. The Duty of Children from the precept Children obey your Parents The word imports an humble subjection to their authority and government with a ready performance of what they require it being an explanation of that which in the law is engrav'd with God's own hand honour (d) Exod. 20.12 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 importing how highly they are to be valued and not lightly esteemed In another place it is ye shall fear every man his mother and his father (e) Lev. 19.3 with 14. 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 awful fear being no other than a deep veneration both which are to be fairly read in the acts of genuine obedience for that doth flow forth from a compound disposition of love and fear mixed in an ingenuous child who is readily mov'd to obey in contemplation of that authority and affection implanted in the Parent towards it To speak more distinctly this obedience to Parents may contain in it these four things 1. Reverence 2. Obedience 3. Pious regards 4. Submission The three first of these may be reducible to active and the last to passive obedience 1. Reverence which is a due and awful estimation of their persons as to this relation placed in eminencie above their children to acknowledg them from God himself the Supreme Parent of us all (f) Acts 17.28 the authors preservers and governors of their lives and upon that account to honour them in their hearts speeches and behaviours from an honest desire to please and filial fear to offend them whose children they are of what rank soever they now appear in the world and therefore to comport themselves so in all the actions of their lives before God and men that they render themselves acceptable to their Parents Yea to both of them the law requires reverence to the Mother as well as the Father (g) Levit. 19.3 with 30. the word which is in one verse fear is in another translated reverence to the claim of which the Mother there seems to be favour'd with some kind of priority because Children who have most needed their Mothers in their tender
to the Sheeps passing out of the Fold when they were to be Tithed for God Levit. 27.32 they were to be told with a Rod one two three c. and the Tenth was the Lords God will not covenant with us in the lump and body but every one was to be particularly minded of his Duty 't is not enough that our Parents did engage for us in Baptism as the Israelites in the Name of their little ones did avouch God to be their God Dent. 29.10 11 12. No man can savingly transact this Work for another we must ratifie the Covenant in our own Persons and make our own professed subjection to the Gospel of Christ 2 Cor. 9.13 This Work cannot be done by a Proxy or Assigns our Parents Dedication will not profit us without some personal Act of our own if we live to years of discretion Once more this must be done not only in words or visible external Rites which may signifie so much as personal Covenanting with God but a Man must ingage his heart to God Jer. 30.21 yea this is a business that must be done between God and our own Souls where no outward witnesses are conscious to it God speaketh to the Soul in this transaction Psal 35.3 Say unto my Soul I am thy Salvation and the Soul speaketh to God Lam. 3.24 thou art my Portion saith my soul and Psal 16.2 O my soul thou hast said unto the Lord thou art my God thus the Covenant is carried on in Soul-Language Now upon this Personal inward Covenanting with God our right to all the priviledges doth depend 2. Renew often the sense of your Obligation to God and keep a constant reckoning how you lay out your selves for him Acts 27.23 His I am and him I serve Phil. 1.21 To me to Live is Christ Some few Renegado's renounce their Baptism but most Christians forget their Baptism 2 Pet. 1.9 He is blind and cannot see afar off and has forgotten that he was washed from his old sins therefore we should be continually exciting our selves both to obedience and dependence that the sincerity of our first Vow and Consent may be verified by a real and constant performance of it 3. You should use frequent self-reflection that you may come to know whether you are indeed washed from the guilt and silth of sin 1 Cor. 6.11 Such were some of you but now ye are sanctified but now ye are justified in the name of the Lord Jesus and by the spirit of our God You should observe what further sense you have of the pardon of sin how you get ground upon your bondage of Spirit and grow up into some rejoycing of Faith for by these signs God intended our strong consolation Heb. 6.18 And the Eunuch when he was Baptized went his way rejoicing Acts 8.39 Hath God applyed his Covenant to me Taken me into the Family Planted me into the Mystical Body of Christ and shall not I be glad and rejoyce in his Salvation So for Sanctification see whether God's Interest doth prevail in you or the Interest of the Flesh what Power and strength of Will you get against Corruption easily Gal. 5.16 17. whether sin be more subdued and you can govern your Passions and Appetites better Gal. 5.24 They that are Christ's should find something of this in themselves otherwise their Baptism is but an empty formality Fourthly and Lastly You must use it as a great help in all Temptations as when you are tempted to sin either by the delights of Sense a Christian hath his Answer ready I am no Debtor to the Flesh or I am Baptized and dedicated to God in the way of Mortification and Holiness to obtain pardon and Life 1 Cor. 6.15 Shall I take the Members of Christ c. this Soul this Body this Time this Strength is Christs not to please the Flesh but the Lord Or by the terrors of Sense Dionysia comforted her Son Majoricus an African Martyr when he was going to suffer for owning the God-head of Christ with this Speech Memento Fili Baptizatum esse in nomine Patris Filii Spiritus Sancti Remember my Son that thou art Baptized in the name of the Father Son and Holy Ghost and be constant So when you are tempted by the Devil taking advantage of your Melancholy and grievous afflictions to question God's Love and Mercy to Penitent Believers Remember the Covenant Sealed in Baptism that you may keep up your Faith in God through Christ which pardoneth all your sins and hath begotten us to a lively hope We must expect to be Tempted the Devil tempted Christ after his Baptism to question his filiation so solemnly attested Compare Mat. 3.17 with Mat. 4.16 Luther saith of himself that when the Devil tempted him to despair or to any doubts and fears about the Love of God or his Mercy to Sinners he would always Answer Ecce ego Baptizatus sum credo in Christum Crucifixum Behold I am Baptized and Believe in Christ Crucified And he telleth us of an Holy Virgin who gave this reply when the Devil abused her Solitudes and injected any despairing thoughts into her mind Baptizata sum I am Baptized and entred into God's Covenant and will expect the pardon of my sins by Jesus Christ Thus should we all the daies of our Life improve our Baptism till we have the full of that Holy and Happy estate for which we were first purified and washed in God's Laver. By what Scriptural Rules may Catechizing be be so managed as that it may become most Vniversally Profitable Serm. XI Proverbs 22.6 Train up or Catechize a Child in the way he should go or in his way and when he is old he will not depart from it THIS most Excellent Book of Sacred Aphorisins or Divine Proverbs is by some not unfitly compared to a costly Chain of Orient Pearls among which though there be a fair Connexion yet there is little or no Coherence I shall therefore immediately enter on the words themselves and in them I observe a Precept and a Promise an important Duty and a perswasive Motive 1. A grand important necessary Duty enjoyned Train up or Catechize a Child in the way he should go In which words we have 1. The Act or Duty prescribed Train up or Catechize Piously and prudently instruct and educate 2. The Object or Person that is to be trained up a Child By a Synechdoche all such Younger ones and Inferiours as are committed to the care and conduct of their Superiours 3. The Subject-matter wherein these Inferiours are thus to be trained up In the way he should go In that way or manner of life which most suits and becomes him that makes most for God's Glory and his own temporal spiritual and eternal good 2. Quo semel est in buta recens servabit odrem testa diu Aâ— plurimum So. Observation 2. A Cogent Argument or prevalent Motive to excite and quicken to the faithful discharge of this important Duty And
when he is old he will not depart from it i. e. not easily not ordinarily depart from it He will be the better for it as long as he lives Hildersham From the first of these viz. the Precept that enjoins the Duty I infer That it is the great and indispensable Duty and therefore ought to be the serious and constant care of Superiours prudently and piously to train up or Catechize to instruct and educate all such Inferiours as are committed to their care and conduct In the pursuing of this Momentous Truth I shall tread in this Method laying before you these five things 1. What it is to train up or Catechize 2. What is meant by That Way wherein persons are to be trained up 3. Who they are that are to be trained up or Catechized 4. Who they are that are to train up or Catechize and why 5. How the whole Affair may be so prudently piously spiritually managed as that it may be Crown'd with such a blessed success as to become most universally profitable 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 a 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 initia primum imbue institue instrue dedica Buxtorf 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 instructos expeditos incipientes suos pueros fidos initiatos quos domi nuâ—riverat quos arte bellied lege Divina instruxerat Whether by way of Question and Answer Vid pag. 7. 1. What it is to train up or Catechize Sol. The word in the Text is very pregnant and greatly significant Primum imbue give the first dip dy tincture seasoning Hence by a Metaphor the word is diversly translated Initia so Ar-Mout Begin or give the first instruction lay the ground-work foundation or first stone Deduc So Chald. Paraph. Vers Instrue Set in order or array arm train up instruct Thus Abraham armed or led forth his trained or instructed servants Gen. 14.14 The word is also translated Dedicavit Consecravit i. e. to set a person or thing apart and to devote it to the true God in a right manner for holy uses and ends with solemn prayer and praise Thus the word 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 is used Deut. 20.5 Psal 30. title 1 Kings 9.7 2 Cbron. 7.5 1 Kings 13.13 1 Chron. 18.11 The Greeks render the word 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 A word of a peculiar signification and imports a plain and familiar teaching and instructing of the ignorant by word of mouth in the first grounds and Fundamental Principles of the true and in the strictest sense the Christian Religion Thus the word is used Luke 1.4 Acts 18.25 1 Cor. 14.19 Gal. 6.6 Hence it may be suppos'd it was that our Translators in the Margent render the word Catechize as being prompted thereunto by the Jewish Rabbins who stile their form of Catechism 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 a Book of first instruction 2. What is meant by that way wherein persons are to be trained up or Catechized and initiated 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 Juxta viam suam i. e. juxta vitae genu quod ipsum sequi velis Sol. In the way he should go In the way or manner of his life Gen. 43.7 in via sua in his way in his kind and according to his capacity and measure and suitably to the weakness and tenderness of his years in the sound knowledg and practice of those truths and principles which may fit him for the service of his God and Generation here and for the eternal enjoyment of his God hereafter Let Paul interpret Solomon in his way 1. In the nurture and admonition of the Lord Eph. 6.4 i. e. in all profitable instruction suitable to a Child's age and state 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 for the framing and moulding of him by knowledg unto a commendable and vertuous carriage and for the doing of greater good in humane Society when he comes to write himself Man but especially in Religious instruction The first Principles of the Oracles of God and of the Doctrine of Christ Heb. 5.12 6.1 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 in instruction in righteousness 2 Tim. 3.16 In the words of Faith and of good doctrine 1 Tim. 4.6 There is something more yet in the words ad os supra os Ar-Mont upon the mouth of his way A form of speaking frequently used in Scripture to note the suitableness or proportion of the thing Exod. 16.21 according to the mouth of his eating i. e. according to the measure of his eating So Num. 7.5 To every Levite according to the mouth i. e. the condition and degree of his service Thus here Train up a Child upon the mouth of his way i. e. in such a way as is not only good and honest in it self Pro captu ingenii ejus infirmioris ut non eum plus oneres quà m aetas fert but most proper and suitable to the spirit disposition end and capacity of the Child As Children are to be fed with such meat so they are to be taught in such a manner as they can most easily and profitably digest Teach them but thus upon the mouth and then out of their mouth shall come praise Psal 8.3 3. Who they are that are thus to be trained up or Catechized and why 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 a 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 Excussit puerum puerulum infantem ex utero nuperrimè excussum 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 Ità hodiè Rabbini puerum 5. annotum ad Biblia 10 ad mischna seu Textum Talmudium 13. ad Praecept 15. ad Talmud Jer. 1.6 2 Chr. 13.7 Isa 5.3 Sol. All younger ones and Inferiours that are committed by God or men to the care and conduct of Superiours all included in the name Child The Original word admits of several significations An Infant newly born Judg. 13.7 of three months old Exod. 26. A Child as soon as he begins to speak and exert his reason Thus it runs parallel with the Greek word 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 And so we find Timothy instructed from a Child a Babe a Suckling 2 Tim. 1.5 with 3.15 It takes in Boys also and Girls Sons and Daughters of somewhat riper age youths as Shechem Gen. 34.19 Damosels and those marriageable Deut. 22.19 The word is also applied to Abraham's Men-servants Gen. 22.3 and to Booz Maid-servants Ruth 2.22 Est 4.4 To such as though they may be men in years are children in understanding These all and every one of these come within the List of those that Solomon and his God would have train'd up and Catechiz'd Nay let me add there is not a younger Son of the Prophets not one that sits at the feet of those Learned Gamaliels those truly Reverend Elijahs that can justly plead exemption from this seeming task shall I say or real honour of being clearly taught in and firmly fixt upon those Everlasting Foundations the first principles of the Oracles of God Heb. 5.12 6.1 4. Who they are that are thus to train up or Catechize these Inferiours and younger ones Sol. All
Counsels go down glibly When persons are fully satisfied that in all our Addresses to them we study only their benefit and profit this opens an effectual door to all the means that we shall use Thus Paul accosts the Romans I long to see you that I may impart unto you some spiritual gift Rom. 1.10 11. Thus he smooths his way to the Philippians Phil. 1.8 God is my Record how greatly I long after you all in the bowels of Jesus Christ Labour then to get their love their good esteem and the work will thrive beyond expectation Love is like the oiling of the Key which makes it to open the lock more easily love greaseth the nail and makes it enter with more facility 2. To holy hearty serious affectionate frequent admonition add an exemplary Conversation Inferiours are apt to be led rather by example than rule and are more prone to imitate Practices than to learn Principles They are more mindful of what we do than of what we say and they will be very prone to suspect that we are not in good earnest when they see that we command them one thing and do another our selves When we teach them well and do amiss our selves we do but pull down with one hand what we build with the other Like a man that at the same time sings a lovely Song and drowns the melody of it by playing an ugly Tune When the Father is immodest the Child that sees it soon grows impudent and therefore the Ancients thought themselves concern'd to be very reserv'd and cautelous before their children Maxima debetur pueris reverentia Psal 101.2 Nâ—l faedum dictu visâ—que ea limina â—angat intra quae pura est Pâ—il 1.4 Col. 1 3. Rom. 10.1 Walk as David therefore in thy house with a perfect heart Let thy children and servants behold nothing in thy deportment which if follow'd may prove sinful 3. To an exemplary conversation add faithful fervent humble constant supplication Paul without ceasing makes mention of his heart's desire and his prayer to God for Israel was that they might be saved Ministers like spiritual Priests should not fail to offer their daily Sacrifices for their people confess their iniquities bewail their misery and cry mightily to God for his mercy All our instructions without prayer will do no good Go to God to sanctifie all By prayer carry thy children servants to the blessed Jesus in the Arms of Faith and beseech him to bless them by laying on his hands on them as Isaac did The accustomed Ceremony used in Blessing Beza in Mat. 19. Impositio manuum Symbolum fuit apud Judaeos familiare quoties solâ—nnis erat precatio vel benedictâ— Mat. 15.22 Gen. 27.1 and 48.9 14. with Matth. 19.13 and Mark 10.16 How pathetically did Abraham plead with God for Ishmael Oh that Ishmael might live before thee Gen. 17.18 Bathsheba calls for Solomon the Son of her Vows Prov. 31.2 Austin the Child of Monica's prayers and tears O pray then pray earnestly O that this my Son Daughter Servant might not dye for ever Thou Lord art the Prince and Lord of Life O speak powerfully to their poor Souls that these pieces of my bowels that are now dead in trespasses and sins may hear thy voice and live Cry out to God with that poor man in the Gospel Lord have mercy on my Son Matth. 17.15 If a Mother do as the Woman of Canaan did Have mercy on me O Lord my Daughter is grievously vexed with a Devil If he seem not to hear and to be silent go nearer to him by Faith and cry Lord help me Lord help me If his Answer seem to be a repulse do not thou desist but rather gather Arguments from his denial as she did and conclude that if he once open his mouth he will not shut his hand and if importunity may prevail with an unrighteous man then much more it will obtain with a gracious God Never leave him therefore till by laying hold on his own strength thou hast overcome him At last thou mayst hear that ravishing voice O Woman be it unto thee even as thou wilt and see thy Daughter made whole from that very hour 4. Lastly To fervent supplication add wary inspection Keep a strict hand Dr. Jacomb Dem. Dâ—c 83. and a watchful eye continually over those that are committed to your charge your utmost care and vigilancy in this will be found little enough How soon will those Gardens that now look like a Paradise be overgrown with weeds if the Keepers thereof do not look to them daily How soon is Childhood and Youth tainted with sin if it be not narrowly watcht Be thou diligent therefore to know the state of thy Flock and look well to thy Herds Carefully observe the natural temper of your inferiours you will by this the better know how to apply your selves to them in advice reproof correction Observe the first sprouts and buds of what is either good or evil in them encourage commend reward them in the one curb restrain and prevent the further growth of the other Do they begin to take God's Name in vain Do they nibble at a lye Doth Pride in apparel peep forth Be sure to kill this Serpent in the very egg to crush this Cockatrice in the Shell 2. Thus of Superiours A word to Inferiours and I have done Dear Lambs the Searcher of Hearts knows how greatly I long after you all in the Bowels of Jesus Christ Shall I prevail with you to remember this when I am laid with my Fathers viz. That 't is no less your Duty to make Religion your business in the relation of Children and Servants than 't is ours in the relation of Parents and Masters Oh what a credit what a glory is it to drink in the Dews of Godliness in the morning of your lives What a lovely sight to behold those Trees blossoming with the fruits of the Spirit in the Spring of their Age Better is a poor and a wise Child than an old and a foolish King Eccl. 4.13 What a Garland of Honour doth the Holy Ghost put on the head of an holy Child How profitable is early Piety Some Fruits ripe early in the year are worth treble the price of latter Fruits Godliness at any time brings in much gain but he that comes first to the Market is like to make the best price of his Ware On the other side how dangerous are delays Remember Children late Repentance like untimely fruits seldom comes to any thing Your lives are very uncertain As young as you are you may be old enough for a Grave Oh then seek your God 1 Tim. 6.6 We read of one that truly repented at his last gasp that so none might despair but 't is of but one that none might presume and seek him when and whiles he may be found Isa 55.5 If thou refuse him now he may refuse thee hereafter I have heard of one that deferring Repentance
Manner of her subjection speaks her Reverence and that is free willing chearful Thus the Church yields up her self to the will of her husband insomuch as it is made a kind of proverbial pattern Eph. 6.7 with good will doing service as to the Lord implying that the subjection and service that we perform to the Lord is with a good will And such ought to be the subjection of the wife most free and willing so as if there were but (a) Nam quae ita vivit ut se ac maritum rem prorsus unam esse arbitretur haec absolvit numeros omnes sanctae uxoris Lu. Vives de Chr. foem pag. 678. one will in two breasts Thus Leah and Rachel Gen. 31.16 followed Jacob like his shadow when he makes a motion they consent if he 'l go they will follow him And was not Sarah's Reverence (b) This submission must not be for worldly respects or for fear of wrath but religious and for conscience sake Gatak Serm. p. 198. cordial when within her self in her heart she called her husband Lord Gen. 18.12 And therefore a contradicting or grudging spirit is very unsuitable to the religious wife and ever leaves a sting in his heart and guilt in hers For usually it is a sign of unmortified pride and self-conceit and entails the curse of unquietness upon the Family and writes a dangerous example to inferiors If the husband's government be too heavy yet it is better for you to leave him to answer for his severity than for you to answer for your (c) She ows her Duty not only or principally to her husband but to the Lord so that his neglect will not excuse hers Id. p. 199. contempt 2. The wife ought to Reverence her husband as the Members do the Head So vers 23. For the husband is the head of the wife He is an Head for influence and sympathy that 's her priviledg he is an Head for eminence and rule that is his And how should she expect benefit from her head if she do not honour her head To (d) 1 Cor. 11.4 dishonour a man's head is always rank'd among unnatural sins All the members are sensible of what use the Head is for their good There are continual cares and projects for the sustenance and comfort of the body and therefore they are willing to give the head its due honour The hand will submit to a wound to save the head If the head resolve to rise up to work or pray the whole body is up presently if the head design a journey never so long never so dangerous the body says not nay but obeys as long as possibly it can Why so should the wife shew honour to her head she ought to honour him next unto her Maker she must be afraid by her frowardness or sullenness to break her own head she must not cross the purposes of her head it is preposterous for the (e) Non secus ac miles suo imperato ri imperare si postulet aut luna soli praeesse aut brachium capiti L. Vives ubi supra head to go one way and the rib another She must readily follow the directions and counsels of her head for the members must not teach the head which way to go they support it but they do not direct it Indeed it is said that the vertuous woman is the crown of her husband but yet there is more (f) Vxor coruscat radiis mariti Justinian worth in the head than in the crown So that still except always cases wherein the head is (g) The man hath government in the house except he be verbum anomalum i. e. a fool Luther craz d or notoriously distempered it will be the wisdom and duty of the wife to be subject to the husband as unto her Head And this hath brought us to the Third thing by which the Reverence of the Wife is described and that is by the Effects thereof And they also are either 1. In word or 2. In deed 1. In word For out of the abundance of the heart the mouth speaketh And if there be that inward fear and respect in the heart which God requires it will be legible in the words of their mouths The same Law that binds the heart in this case doth also govern the tongue In her tongue is the law of kindness Prov. 31.26 And here certainly a wholsom tongue is a tree of life whereas perversness therein is a breach in the spirit Prov. 15.4 Now this Reverence in the Wife is shewed 1. In her words of her husband Which should always be compos'd of respect and honour Thus Sarah is brought in by the Apostle 1 Pet. 3.6 Even as Sarah obeyed Abraham calling him Lord whose daughters ye are as long as ye do well And this was the language of her heart as you heard before out of Gen. 18.12 And no wife is too great or good to imitate her example in the main by giving respectful titles and expressions of her husband whereas on the contrary it is observed of the naughty woman Prov. 7.19 she only affords her husband in his absence the man for so it is in the Hebrew is not at home And it were well if this were the worst title and character which many wives do give their husbands behind their backs Whereas all the reproach and ignominy that they pour out on their husband doth infallibly redound to their own shame their (h) Nam vir uxoris majestatem amere benevolentia tuetur wulier viri cultu obedientia Nihil genus nihil opes nihil fortuna proderunt honore carebis si caruerit vir Lu. Vives ubi supâ—a honour and respect standing and falling together 2. The words of the wife to her husband ought to be full of Reverence And therefore she should beware 1. Of an Excess in the quantity not preposterously interrupting her husband while he is speaking nor answering ten words for one For (i) Vxorium est ornamâ—ntum aut cum mari o aut per maritum loqui Id. ibid. silence doth more commend the wisdom of a woman than speech and she that is wise spareth her words and though she seem to be religious yet if she do not bridle her tongue her religion is vain And 2. She must beware of a Defect in the quality of them viz. of meekness and respect For the great study of the wife should be to get a meek and quiet spirit which in the sight of God yea and of man too is of great price 1 Pet. 3.4 When the heart is once meekened by the grace of God then her words will savour of it and not till then And though they may think that this will invite and further the insolency of an unkind husband yet they may rest assured that that which is most pleasing to God shall not tend to their prejudice any way For hath not God said that a soft tongue breaketh the
or froward (w) Luke 2.51 1 Pet. 2 18. in all that is well-pleasing to God whose honour is the end ingenuous Children should aim at by just and honest means in the exercise of their duties keeping themselves from their iniquities (x) 1 Tim 5.22 i. e. those which their own turbulent passions are apt to hurry them into If we did more reverence our selves we should carry better towards our Superiours Pythagoras his advice is very wholsom * 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 Carmin Let a man be the greatest shame to himself keep his own heart in awe by a secret blush upon his own extravagancies in their first risings and so he will have his Keeper every where with him then as he saith further Let him follow that which is just not only in words but in deeds He that is duly affected with shame of himself will be careful to pay just respects in all due circumstances unto those he is mostly oblig'd to honour 4. Set about all your duties to your Parents willingly and readily not with grudging or disdain but with an holy warmth of heart lifting up your selves to and following hard after whatever God requires (y) Judges 5.39 in all affectionate expressions of a free and chearful spirit sith all is to be in the Lord who loves readiness (z) 2 Cor. 9.7 This manner of performance will be the more easie if Children timely learn the great lesson of self-denial and do really exercise that and love they will then without bogling go through the most unpleasant uneasie and mean imployments they are call'd unto and concern'd to manage for their Parents as Jacob's Sons did for their Father after as well as before their marriage (a) Gen. 30.35 37.13 14. 42.1 2 3. 43.15 47.1 2 3. and in his straits Judah express'd great readiness to comfort his Father (b) 44.33 34 with 30. Ruth as was noted before was very exemplary in this manner of obedience (c) Ruth 1.15 16. but Isaac's readiness was the most singular (d) Gen. 22.9 10. till Christ himself whom he typified came then saith he to his Father (e) Psal 40.8 Ad semper velle non ad semper agere I delight to do thy will O my God thy Law is within my heart Believe it Willingness puts a great acceptableness upon duties Children are bound always to will though not always to act they should readily embrace all opportunities 'T is said Amasiah the Son of Zichri willingly offer'd himself unto the Lord (f) 2 Chron. 17.16 and so should ingenuous Children be ever ready as Paul was in Christ (g) Acts 21.13 for their Parents service Somewhat of this was hinted before and I shall only add what Hierocles saith in this case * 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 c. in Pythag. Carm. p. 54 57 mihi It is fit we should not withdraw our selves from performing with our own hands what our Parents require as occasion serves but by how much the more mean and servile the offices by so much should Children think them the more honest and laudable and not to he avoided because expensive but to be done with a ready and chearful mind for their use and with joy we are put to those pains and expences for their sakes 5. Persevere in all and be constant with diligence unto the end whatever temptations you meet with Let not the instructions you have received according to godliness depart from your heart all the days of your life (h) Deut. 4.9 Be not fickle or inconstant but hold out in all circumstances though your Parents be aged and decay'd (i) Prov. 23.22 Ru h 1.15 16. 4.15 so long as they and you coexist in this world and the Relation remains Be like constant Ruth and holy Joseph when advanc'd he continued his obedience to the very last moment of his dear Father's life and after (k) Gen. 46.29 47.31 48.12 a vertue wherein it seems Samuel's sons were defective (l) 1 Sam 8.5 but Jonadab's were praise-worthy (m) Jer. 35.56 as well as others after their Parents decease when tempted to the contrary yea though it was in a business unpleasing to flesh and blood They did as Physicians prescribe to their Patients receive their Father's documents cum debitâ custodiâ so as not to indulge their appetites in that he forbad them but persevere in observing his injunction This is praise-worthy Nay though our Parents should not submit to the yoke of Christ we should not withdraw our neck from their yoke nor desist from obedience to them so far as it hinders not our obedience to Christ but should hold out that none take our Crown As Antonius said †〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 Lib. 8. Sect. 5. Remember well you ought to be a good man and that which the nature of man requires of you this do constantly So that which the Nature of your Relation calls for do it with all your might and never suffer your self to be diverted or recalled from it Having found the true way of obedience go on in it and be not turned back again remembring vvhat our blessed Lord and Master saith He that shall endure to the end the same shall be saved (n) Mat. 24 13. After these Particulars to Children I must crave leave before I shut up 2. To say somewhat in particular unto Parents to direct and help them likewise to manage their office in an evangelical manner 1. Be sure that you your selves do keep up the life and power of godliness in your own domestick practise that hereby your children may be kept from corruption in a bad air and encourag'd in an holy conversation I have already hinted something of this concerning the exemplariness of Parents and in the premis'd general duty of their good behaviour and therefore shall not need to enlarge much upon it here Only suggest this that you are to walk in your integrity as for your own so for your posteritie's comfort in the family exercise of Religion by behaving your self wisely in an upright way and walking within your house with an upright heart (o) Psal 101 2. 112.2 Prov. 20.7 shewing your selves in all things patterns of good works (p) Tit. 2.7 And putting persons and things into their proper places to prevent confusion which else will arise and much obstruct you in your most important offices This will gain a reputation to your Government and facilitate the management of particular duties When your children see what a gloss you put upon holiness by your sincere chearful and grave Christian deportment they begin to discern the pleasantness of the ways of wisdom the excellency of the life of faith and the odiousness of flesh-pleasing courses and so come to esteem your instructions which are very legible and easie to be understood by such a practical commentary The holy life of John the Baptist had some influence upon Herod's affections for