stragglers those that put themselves out of their proper road And truly I see not who can more properly be said to be so thenthosewomen whose means of subsistence lies in the Country and yet will spend it no wherebut at London which seems to carry something of opposition to Gods providence who surely never caused their lot to fall as the Psalmist speaks in a fair ground in goodly heritages Psalm 16. with an intent they should never inhabit them The 12 tribes of Israel had their peculiar Portions in Canaan assign'd them by lot Jos. 14. 2. and every one acquiesced in his part dwelt in his own inheritance had they bin impatient of living any where but in the Metropolis had they all crouded to Jerusalem all the rest of the land would have bin as desolate before the captâ—…ty as it was after none would havebin left but such as Nabuzaradan permitted to stay Jer. 52. 16. some of the poor to dresse the vines and to till the ground And truly the same is like to be the fate of this nation if this humor goes on as it has begun which may in time prove as mischievous to the public as it daily is to private families 20. But besides this 't is yet farther to be consider'd that where God gives an estate he as the supreme landlord affixes something of duty laies a kind of a rent charge upon it expects it should maintain both hospitality and charity and sure both these are fittest to be don upon the place whence the ability of them rises All public taxes use to be levied where the estate lies and I know not why these which are Gods assesments upon it should not be paid there too When a Gentlemans land becomes profitable unto him by the sweat and labor of his poor neighbors and tenants t will be a kind of muzling of the ox 1. Cor. 9. 9. if they never tast of the fruit of their pains if they shall never have the refreshment of a good meal or an alms which they are not very like to meet with if all the profits be sent up to maintain an equipage and keep up a parade in town But alas 't is often not only the annual profits that go that way not only the crop but the soil too those luxuries usually pray upon the vitals eat out the very heart of an estate and many have stay'd in the Town 'till they have nothing left in the country to retire to 21. Now where this proceeds from the wife what account can she give to her husband whose easiness and indulgence for that must be suppos'd in the case she has so abus'd as also to her posterity and family who for her pride must be brought low reduc'd to a conditiod beneath their quality because she affected to live above it But she will yet worse answer it to her self on whom she has brought not only the inconvenience but the guilt 'T is sure a lofty mind will feelsmart enough of a fall a diminution much more an indigence will be sufficiently greivous to a vain and lavish humor yet here it will farther have an additional sting from the conscience that she ows it only to her own pride and folly a most imbittering consideration and such as advances the affliction beyond that of a more innocent poverty as much as the pain of an envenom'd arrow exceeds that of another 22. But the saddest reckoning of all is that which she is to make to God who has declar'd he hates robbery tho for a burnt offering to himself How will he then detest this robbery this impoverishing of the husband when 't is only to make an oblation to vanity and excess It should therefore be the care of all wives to keep themselves from a guilt for which God and man yea themselves also shall equally accuse them and to keep their expences within such limits that as bees suck but do not violate or deface the flowers so they as joint proprietaries with the husbands may enjoy but not devour and destroy his fortune 23. I have now run through the duties to be perfrom'd unto the Husband wherein I have not used the exactness of a casuist in curiously anatomizing every part and shewing all the most minute particulars reducible to each head I have only drawn out the greater lines and insisted on those wherein Wives-are most frequently deficient I shall only add this caution that whatever is duty to the husband is equally so be he good or ill the Apostle commands the subjection fidelity even to heathen Husbands 1 Pet. 3. 12. and 't is not now their defect either in Piety or Morality that can absolve the Wife For besides the inconvenience of making her duty precarious liable to be substracted upon every pretence of demerit she has by solemn Contract renounc'd that liberty in her Marriage-vow taken him for better for worse it is too late after Vows to make enquiry Prov. 20. 25. to seek to break loose from that bond of her Soul and how uneasie soever the perversness of the husband may render it he cannot thereby mak it less but more rewardable by God for what the Apostle speaks in the case of Servants is no less appliable to this 1 Pet. 2. 19. for this is than worthy if for conscience towards Godye endure grief suffering wrongfully Whatever duty is perform'd to Man with aspect on God he owns as to himself so that how unworthy soever the husband may be the Wife cannot misplace her observance whilst she finally terminates it on that infinit Goodness and Majesty to whom no love or obedience can be enough 24. From this relation of a Wife there ordinarily springs another that of a Mother to which there belongs a distinct duty which may bebranched into many severals but I shall at present only reduce them to two Heads Love and Care A Mother is a title of so much tenderness that we find it borrowed by our common Dialect to express the most exuberant kindness nay even in Sacred Stile it has the same use and is often set as the highest example our weaknes can comprehend of the Divine Compassions So that Nature seems sufficienly to have secur'd the love of Mothers to their Children without the aid of any positive Law yet we find this as other Instincts of Nature is somtimes violated and oftner perverted and applied to mistaken purposes the first is by a defect of Love the other by an imprudent excess of t the defect does I presume more rarely occur then the other yet it doth sometimes happen and that either from a morosesowrness of humor or else from too vehement an intention on somthing else 25. Some Women have such a ruggedness of nature that they can love nothing the ugly Passions of Anger and Envy hav like Pharaoh's lean Kine eat up the more amiable of Love and Joy Plato was wont to advise crabbed austere tempers to Sacrifice to the Graces and such
valuable consideration so that this course will repel no suitor but such as it is their interest not to admit Besides t is most agreeable to the virgin modesty which should make marriage an act rather of their obedience then their choise and they that think their friends too flow paced in the matter and seek to outrun them give cause to suspect they are spurr'd on by somwhat too warm desires 22. But as a Daughter is neither to anticipate nor contradict the will of her Parent so to hang the ballance even I must say she is not obliged to force her own by marrying wher she cannot love for a negative voice in the case is sure as much the child 's right as the Parentâ—…s It is true she ought well to examine the grounds of her aversion and if they prove only childish and fanciful should endeavor to correct them by reason and sober consideration but if after all she cannot leave to hate I think she should not proceed to marry I confess I see not how she can without a sacrilegious hypocrisie vow so solemnly to love where she at the instant actually abhors and where the married state is begun with such a perjury 't is no wonder to find it continued on at the same rate that other parts of the vow be also violated and that she observe the negative part no more then the positive and as little forsake others as she does heartily cleave to her husband I fear this is a consequence wherof there are too many sad instances now extant for tho doubtless there are some Vertues which wil hold out against all the temtations their a versions can give nay which do at last even conquer those a versions and render their duty as easie as they have kept it safe yet we find there are but some that do so that it is no inseparable property of the sex and therefore it is sure too hazardous an experiment for any of them to venture on 23. And if they may not upon the more generous motive of Obedience much less may they upon the worse inducements of Avarice and Ambition for a woman to make a vow to the man and yet intend only to marry his fortune or his title is the basest insincerity and such as in any other kind of civil contracts would not only have the infamy but the punishment of a cheat Nor will it at all secure them that this is only liable to Gods tribunal for that is not like to make the doom less but more heavy it being as the Apostle witnesses a fearful thing to fall into the hands of the living God Heb. 20. 31. In a word marriage is Gods ordinance should be consider'd as such not made a stale to any unworthy design And it may well be presum'd one cause why so few matches are happy that they are not built upon a right foundation Some are grounded upon wealth some on beauty too sandy bottoms God knows to raise any lasting felicity on whilst in the interim vertu piety the only solid Basis for that superstructure are scarce ever consider'd Thus God is commonly left out of the consultation The Lawyers are resorted to to secure the settlements all sorts of Artificers to make up the equipage but he is neither advis'd with as to the motives nor scarce supplicated as to the event of wedding Indeed t is a deplorable sight to see with what lightness unconcernedness young people go to that weightiest action of their livs that a mariage day is but a kind of Bacchanal a more licensed a vowed revel when if they duly consider'd it 't is the hinge upon which their future life moves which turns them over to a happy or miserable being therfore ought to be enter'd upon with the greatest seriousness and devotion Our Church advises excellently in the preface to matrimony I wish they would not only give it the hearing at the time but make it their study a good while before yea and the marriage-vow too which is so strict and awful a bond that methinks they had need well weigh every branch of it ere they enter it and by the ferventest praiers implore that God who is the witness to be their assistant too in its performance SECT II. Of Wives 1. AND now having conducted the virgin to the entrance of another state I must shift the Scene and attend her thither also And here she is lanched into a wide sea that one relation of a wife drawing after it many others for as she espouses the man sâ—…she does his obligations also and wherever he by ties of nature or alliance ows a reverence or kindness she is no less a debtor Her marriage is an adoption into his family and therefore she is to every branch of it to pay what their stations there do respectively require to define which more particularly would be a work of more length then profit I shall therefore confine the present consideration to the relation she stands in to her husband what is usually concomitant with that her children and her servants and so shall consider her in the three capacities of a Wife a Mother and a Mistress 2. In that of a Wife her duty has several aspects â—…s it relates first to his Person secondly to his Reputation thirdly to his Fortune The first debt â—…o his person is Love which we find set as the â—…rime Article in the marriage vow indeed that â—…s the most essential requisite without this 't is â—…nly a Bargain and Compact a Tyranny perhaps on the mans part and a Slavery on the womans 'T is Love only that cements the hearts and where that union is wanting 't is but a shadow a carcass of marriage Therefore as it is very necessary to bring some degree of this to this State so 't is no less to maintain and improve it in it This is it which facilitats all other duties of marriag makes the yoke sit so lightly that it rather pleases then galls It should therefore be the study of Wives to preserve this flame that like the vestal fire it may never go out and to that end carefully to guard it from all those things which are naturally apt to extinguish it of which kind are all frowardness and little perversness of humor all sullen and morose behavior which by taking off from the delight and complacency of conversation will by degrees wear off the kindness 3. But of all I know nothing more dangerous then that unhappy passion of Jealousy which thâ—… 't is said to be the child of love yet like the viper its birth is the certain destruction of the parent As therefore they must be nicely careful to give their husbands no color no least unbrage for it so should they be as resolute to resistall that occurs to themselves be so far from that busy curiosity that industry to find causes of suspicion that eveâ—… where they presented themselves they should avert the
no Christian so I conceive it is no prudent expedient it serves to stengthen not only the husbands suspicion but his party too and make many others of his mind and 't is a little to be feared that by using so to brave the Jealousy they may at last come to verify it I have bin the longer on this theme because as Jealousie is the most fatal pest of a married life so I think it more ordinarily occurs among people of quality and with the worst and most durable effects yet what ever pretences people may take hence the marriage vow is too fast a knot to be loosened by fancies and chimeras let a woman therefore be the person suspecting or suspected neither wil absolve her from that love to her husband she has sworn to pay 10. But alas what hope is there that these greater temptations shall be resisted when we see every the slightest disgust is now adays too strong for the matrimonial love nay indeed it does of course fall off of it self which is an event so much expected that 't is no wonder to see it expire with the first circuit of the moon but it is every bodies admiration to see it last one of the sun and sometimes it vanishes so cleerly as not to leave so much as a shadow behind it not so much as the formalities of marriage one bed one house cannot hold them as if they had bin put together like case-shot in a gun only that they might the more forcibly scatter several waies Nay as if this were designed and intended in the first addresses unto marriage a separate maintenance is of course aforehand contracted for and becomes as solemn a part of the settlement as a Jointure is Plutarch observes of the ancient Romans that f r 230. years after founding of their state there never was one example of any married couple that separated it is not likely they could have a more binding form of marriage then ours is the difference must lie between their vâ—…racity and our falsness 11. But even amongst those who desert not each other too many do mutually fall from that entireness and affection which is the soul of marriage and to help on the declination there are fashionable Maxims taken up to make men and their wives the greatest strangers to each other Thus 't is pronounced a piece of ill Breeding a sign of a country Gentleman to see a man go abroad with his own wife I suppose those who brought up these rules are not to seek what use to make of them and were the time of most of the modish couples computed itwould be sound they are but few of their waking hours I might say minutes together so that if nothing else meer desuetude and intermission of conversation must needs allay if not quite extinguish their kindness But I hope there are yet many who do not think the autority of a fashion greaterthenthat of a vow such will still think it their duty both to own and cherish that kindness and affection they have so solemnly promis'd 12. Another debt to the person of a husband is Fidelity sor as she has espoused all his interests so she is obliged to be true to them to keep all his secrets to inform him of his dangers yea and in a mild and gentle manner to admonish him of his faults This is the most genuine act of friendship therefore she who is placed in the neerest and most intimate degree of that relation must not be wanting in it She that lies in his bosom should be a kind of second conscience to him by putting him in mind both of his duty and his aberrations and as long as she can be but patiently heard 'tis her sin to omit it 't is the greatest treachery to his noblest to his immortal part and such as the most officious cares of his other interests can never expiate Nay indeed she is unfaithful to her self in it there being nothing that does so much secure the happiness of a Wife as the vertu and piety of the husband Yet tho this is to have her chiefest care as being his principal interest she is to neglect none of the inferior but contribute her utmost to his advantage in all his concerns 13. Beyond all these the matrimonial fidelity has a special notion as it relates to the Bed in that the wise is to be most severely scrupulous never to admit so much as a thought or imagination much lesse any parly or treaty contrary to her loialty T is true wantonness is one of the foulest blots that can stain any of the sex but 't is infinitly more odious in the married it being in them an accumulation of crimes perjury added to uncleanness the infamy of their family superstructed upon their own and accordingly all lawes have made a difference in their punishments Adultery was by Gods own award punisht with death among the Jews Levit. 20. 10. And it seems it was so agreable to natural justice that divers other nations did the like and I know no reason but the difficulty of detection that should any where give it a milder sentence The son of Sirach has excellently describ'd the several gradations of the guilt Ecclus. 23. 1. which I shall desire the Reader to consult which who so does must certainly wonder at the Alchimy of this age that from such a mass of shame and infamy can extract matter of confidence that those who lie under so many brands and stigmas are so far from hiding their faces that none shew them with so much boldness and the assurance of the guilty far exceeds that of the innocent But impudence is a slender shelter for guilt and serves rather to betray then hide so that theyare not able to outface the opinions of men much lesse can they the judgments of God who as He was solemnly invok'd as witness to their vow so by his omnipresence is against their wills a witness too of its violations 14. Another duty to the person of the husband is obedience a word of a very harsh sound in the ears of some wives but is certainly the duty of all and that not only by their promise of it tho that were sufficient but from an original of much older date it being the mulct that was laid upon the first womans disobedience to God that she and all derived from her should be subject to the husband so that the contending for superiority is anattemt to reverse thatfundamentallaw which is almost as ancient as the World But surely God with whom there is no shadow of change will not make acts of repeal to satisfie the petulancy of a few masterless women That statute will stillstand in force and if it cannot awe them into an observance will not fail to consign them topunishment And indeed this fault is commonly its own lictor and does anticipate tho not avert its final doom Theimperiousness ofawomandos oftenraise those storms wherein her self
isshipwrack'd How pleasantly might many women have lived if they had not affected dominion Nay how much of their will might they have had if they had not strugled for it For let a man be of never so gentle a temper unless his head be softer then his heart such a usurpation will awake him to assert his right But if he be of a sowr severe nature if he have as great a desire of rule as she backt with a much better title what tempests what Hurricanes must two such opposite winds produce And at last 't is commonly the wives lot after an uncreditable unjust war to make as disadvantageous a peace this like all other ineffective rebellions serving to straiten her yoke to turn an ingenuous subjection into a slavish servitude so that certainly it is not only the vertue but the wisdom of wives to do that upon duty which at last they must with more unsupportable circumstances do upon necessity 15. And as they ow these severalls to the person of the husband so there is also a debt to his reputation This they are to be extremely tender of to advance it by making all that is good in him as conspicuous as public as they can setting his worth in the cleerest light but putting his infirmities in the shade casting a veil upon those to skreen them from the eies of others nay as far as is possible from their own too there being nothing acquir'd to the wifeby contemplating the husbands weakness but a temtation of despising him which tho bad enough in itself is yet renderd worse by that train of mischievous consequences which usually attend it In case therefore of any notable imperfections in him her safest way will be to consider them no farther then she can be instrumental to the curing them but to divert from those and reflect upon her own which perhaps if impartially weighed may ballance if not overpoiâ—… his And indeed those wives who are apt blaze their husbands faults doe shew that they have either little adverted to theirown orelse find them so great that they are forced to that art of diversion and seek in his infamy to drown theirs But that project is a little unlucky for nothing does in sober judges create greaterprejudice to a woman then to see her forward in impeaching her husband 16. But besides this immediate tenderness of his reputation there is another by way of reflection which consists in a care that she her self do nothing which may redound to his dishonor ther is so strict union between a man and his wife that the law counts them one person and consequently they can have no divided interest so that the misbehavior of the woman reflects ignominiously on the man it therefore concerns them as well upon their husbands as their own account to abstain even from all appearance of evil and provide that themselves be what Caesar is said to have requir'd of his wife not only without guilt but without scandal also 17 Another part of the wives duty relates to her husbands fortune the management whereof is not ordinarily the wives province but where the husband thinks fit to make it so she is oblig'd to administer it with her best care and industry not by any neglect of hers to give others opportutunity of defrauding him yet on the other side not by an immoderate tenacity or griping to bring upon him and her self the reproch and which is worse the curse that attends exaction and oppression But this is not usually the wives field of action tho he that shall consider the description which Solomon gives of a vertuous wife Prov. 31. will be apt to think her Province is not so narrow and confin'd as the humor of the age would represent it He tells us that she seeks wool and flax and works diligently with her hands that she is like the merchants ships and brings her food from far That she considers a field and buyes it and with the fruit of her hands plants a vineyard c. And least this should be imagin'd to be the character of a mean country Dame he addes that her houshold is clothed in scarlet and that her husband sits among the Elders of the land It were easy to give instances from history of the advantageous menage and active industry of wives not only in single persons but whole Nations But nothing can be more pregnant then that among the Romans in the very height and flourish of the Empire Austus himself scare wore any thing but of the Manufacture of his Wife his Sister daughters and nieces as Suetonius assures us Should the gay lilies of our fields which neither sow nor spin nor gather into barns be exemted from furnishing others and left to cloth themselves t is to be doubted they would reverse our Saviors Parallel of Solomons glories and no beggar in all his rags would be araied like one of these Luc. 12. 27. 18. But we will be yet more kind and impose only negative thrift on the wife not to wast and embezle her husbands estate but to confine her expences within such limits as that can easily admit a caution which if all women had observed many noble families had bin preserv'd of which there now remains no other memorial but that they sell a sacrifice to the profuse vanity of a woman and I fear this age is like to provide many more such monuments for the next Our Ladies as if they emulated she Roman Luxury which Seneca and Pliny describe with so much indignation do sometimes wear about them the revenues of a rich family and those that cannot reach to that shew how much 't is against their wills they fall lower by the vast variety and excess of such things as they can possibly compasse so much extravagance not only in their own dress but that of their houses and apartments as if their vanity like the Leprosy we read of Lev. 24. had infected the very walls And indeed 't is a very spreading fretting one for the furniture oft consumes the house and the house consumes the land so that if som Gentlemen were to calculate their estates they might reduce all to the inventory of Scopias the Thessalian who profest his all lay only in such Toies as did him no good Women are now skillfull Chymists and can quickly turn their husbands earth into Gold but they pursue the experiment too far make that Gold too volatile and let it all vapor away in insignificant tho gaudy trifles 19. Nor is it ever like to be otherwise with those that immoderatly affect the town that forge of vanity which supplies a perpetual spring of new temtations 'T is true there are some Ladies who are necessarily engaged to be there their husbands emploiments orfortuneshave markt that out as their proper station and where the ground of their stay is their duty there is more reason to hope it will not betray them to ill for temtations are most apt to assault
consideration put the most candid construction upon any doubtful action And indeeâ—… charity in this instance has not more of the Dovâ—… then of the Serpent It is infinitly the wisesâ—… course both in relation to her present quiet and her future innocence The entertaining a jealous fancy is the admitting the most treacherous the most disturbing inmate in the World she opens her breast to a fury that lets it in 'T is certainly one of the most enchanting 〈◊〉 imaginable keeps her alwaies in a most restless importunate search after that which she dreads and abhors to find and makes her equally miserable when she is injured and when she is not 4. And as she totally loses her ease so 't is odds but she will part also with some degrees of her innocence Jeolousy is commonly attended with a black train it musters all the forces of our irascible part to abet its quarrel Wrath and Anger Malice and Revenge and by how much the female impotence to govern those passions is the greater so much the more dangerous is it to admit that which will so surely set them in an uprore For if Jealousy be as the wise man saies the rage of a man Prov. 6. 32. we may well think it may be the fury the madness of a woman and indeed all ages have given tragical instances of it not only in the most indecent fierceness and clamor but in the solemn mischeifs of actualrevenges Nay 't is tobedoubted therehave bin somewhose malice has rebounded and have ruined themselves in spight have bin adulterous by way of retaliation and taken more scandalous liberties then those they complained of in their husbands And when such enormous effects as these are the issues of jealousy it ought to keep women on the strictest guard against it 5. But perhaps it may be said that some are not left to their Jealousy and conjectures but have moredemonstrativeproofs In thisage ' tisindeedno strange thingfor men to publish their sin as Sodom and the offender does somtimes not discover but boast his crime In this case I confess 't will be scarce possible to disbelieve him but even here a wife has this advantage that she is out of the pain of Suspence she knows the utmost and therefore is now at lesure to convert all that industry which she would have used for the discovery to fortify her self against a known calamity which sure she may as well do in this as in any other a patient Submission being the one Catholicon in all distresses and as the slightest can overwhelm us if we add our own impatience towards our sinking so the greatest cannot if we deny it that aid They are therefore far in the wrong who in case of this injury pursue their husbands withvirulencies and reproches This is as Solomon saies Pro. 25. 20. Thepowringvinegar upon niter applyingcorrosives whenbalsoms are most needed whereby they not only increase their own smart but render the wound incurable They are not thunders and earthquakes but soft gentle rains that close the scissures of the ground and the breaches of Wedlock will never be cemented by storms and loud outcries Many men have bin made worse but scarce ever any better by it for guilt covets nothing more then an opportunity of recriminating and where the husband can accuse the wives bitterness he thinks he needs no other apology for his own lust 6. A Wise Dissimulation or very calm notice is sure the likeliest means of reclaiming for where men have not wholy put off humanity there is a native compassion to a meek sufferer We have naturally some regret to see a Lamb under the knife whereas the impatient roaring of a swine diverts our pitty so that Patience in this case is as much the interest as duty of a Wife 7. But there is another instance wherein that vertu has yet a severer trial and that is when a Wife lies under the causeless jealousies of the husband I say causeless for if they be just 't is not so much a season for patience as for repentance and reformation This is sure one of the greatest calamities that can befall a vertuous woman who as she accounts nothing so dear as her loialty and honor so thinks no infelicity can equal the aspersing of those especially when 't is from him towhomshe has bin the most solicitous to approve her self Yet God who permits nothing but what he directs to some wise and gracious end has an overruling hand in this as well as in all other events of life and therefore it becomes every woman in that condition to examine strictly what she has don to provoke so severe a scourge for tho her heart condemn her not of any falseness to her husband yet probably it may of many disloialties to her God and then she is humbly to accept even of this traducing of her innocence as the punishment of her iniquity and bear it with the same temper wherewith David did the unjust revilings of Shimei 2 Kings 16. 10. Let him curse for the Lord hath bidden him 8. And when she hath made this penitent reflection on her real guilts she may then with more courage encounter those imaginary ones which are charged on her wherein she is to use all prudent and regular means for her justification that being a debt she ows to truth and her own fame but if after all the suspicion remains still fixed as commonly those which are the most unreasonable are the most obstinate she may still solace her self in her integrity and Gods approbation of it Nor ought she to think her self desolate that has her appeal open to heaven Therefore whilst she can look both inward and upward with comfort why should she chuse to fix her eies only on the object of her grief and whilst her own complaint is of defamation why should she so dishonor God and a good conscience as to shew any thing can be more forcible to oppress then they are to relieve and support And if she may not indulge to grief much less may she to anger and bitterness 9. Indeed if she consider how painful a passion jealousie is her husband will more need her pitty who tho he be unjust to her is yet cruel to himself and as we do not use to hate and malign those Lunatics who in their fits beat their friends and cut and gash themselves but rather make it our care to put all harmful engines out of their way so should the wife not despitefully ruminate upon the injury but wisely to contrive to avert his temtations to more by denying her self even the most innocent liberties if she see they dissatisfy him I know there have bin som of another opinion and as if they thought jealousy were to be cured by majoration have in an angry contemt don things to inflame it put on an unwonted freedom and jollity to shew their husbands how little they had secur'd themselves by their distrust But this as it is
face can she require that strict and severe modesty of a young Girl which she who should be a Matron will not practise or tye up the giddy wandring humor of Youth within those bounds she thinks too strait for her own and how ready a retortion will even Scripture it self afford for such an Imposer Thou that teachest another teachest thou not thy self Rom. 2. 21. Let it therefore be the care of all Mothers to live a perpetual Lecture to their Children so to exemplifie to them all Virtu and Piety that they may contribute somthing to their Spiritual as wel as their natural life that however they may at least deliver their own souls and not have their childrens guilt recoile upon them as the unhappy originalls of it 47. The last relation of a married woman is that of a Mistriss the inspection of the family being usually her Province and tho she be not supreme â—…here yet she is to improve her delegated autority to the advantage of all under it and her â—…nore constant residence gives her more opportunities of it then the frequent avocations of the husband will perhaps allow him St. Paul sets it as the calling and the indispensible duty of the Married women that they guide the house 1 Tim. 5. 18. not thinking it a point of greatness to remit the manage of all domestic concerns to a mercinary house-keeper And indeed since it has bin a fashionable thing for the Master to resign up his concerns to the steward and the Lady hers to the Governant it has gon ill with most great Families whilst these Officers serve themselves instead of those who employ them raise fortunes on their Patrons ruines and divide the spoil of the family the house-keeper pilfering within doores and the Bailiff plundering without 48. Now to the well guiding of the house by the mistress of it I know no better or more comprehensive rule then for her to endeavor to make all that are hers to be Gods servants also this will secure her of all those intermedial qualifications in them in which her secular interest is concerned their own consciences being the best spy she can set upon them as to their truth and fidelity and the best spur also to diligence and industry But to the making them such there will need first instruction and secondly discipline It is a necessary part of the rulers care to provide that none in their family should want means of necessary instruction I doe not say that the Mistress should set up for a catechist or preacher but that they take order they should be taught by those who are qualified for the emploiment And that their furnishing them with knowledg may not serve only to help them to a greater number of stripes Luk. 12. 47. they are to give them the opportunities of consecrating it to prayer devotion to that end to have public divine offices in the family and that not by starts or accidents when a devouter guest is to be entertained and laid by when a prophane but daily and regularly that the hours of praiers may be fixt and constant as those of meals and if it may possibly be as much frequented however that toward it she give both precept and example 49. A Christian family should be the Epitome of a Church but alas how many among us lye under a perpetual Interdict yet not from the usurpation of any forreign power but from the irreligion of the domestic One may go into divers great families and after some stay there not be able to say that the name of God was mentioned to any other purpose than that of blasphemy and execration nor a text of scripture unless in burlesque prophane Drolery And sure we need not wonder at the universal complaint that is now made of ill servants when we reflectupon this ill government of families They that are suffer'd wholy to forget their duties toward God wil not alwais remember it towards man Servants are not such Philosophers that upon the bare strength of a few moral instincts they will be vertuous if by a customary neglect of all things sacred they are once taught to look at nothing beyond this world they will often find temtation enough here to discard their honesty as the most unthriving trade And indeed when the awe of religion is quite taken off from the vulgar there will scarce any thing else be found to keep them within any tolerable bounds so that 't is no less impolitic then prophane to slacken that reine 50. But it is not only the interest but the duty of all that have families to keep up the esteem and practice of Religion in them 'T was one of the greatest endearments of Abraham to God that he would command his houshold to keep the way of the Lord Gen. 18. 19. And Joshua undertakes no less for the piety of his houshold then himself as for me and my house we will serve the Lord Jos. 24 〈◊〉 And sure 't is but reasonable that where we our selves owe an homage we should make all our dependents acknowledg the same Besides it is a justice in respect of them for where we entertain a servant we take the whole person into our care and protection and are salse to that undertaking if we suffer his soul the most precious part of him to perish and God who keeps account even of his meanest creatures will not patiently resent such a neglect of those who bear his own Image and were ransomed with as great a price as their Masters were for there is no respect of persons with God Eph. 6. 6. 51. But when Piety is planted in a family 't will soon wither if it be not kept in vigor by Discipline nay indeed to have servants seemingly devout in the oratory and yet really licentious out of it is but to convert ones house into a Theater have a play of religion and keep a set of actors only to personate and represent it 'T is therefore necessary to inquire how they behave themselves when they are off the stage whether those hands which they elevate in praier are at other times industriously appli'd to work or those mouths wherewith they there bless God are not else where filled with oaths and curses scurrilities and revilings in a word whether that form of Godliness be not design'd in commutation for sobriety and honesty Indeed the governors of families ought to make a strict inspection into the â—…anners of their servants where they find them good to affix som special mark of favor by which they may both be encouraged to persevere and others to begin butwher they discern them vicious there as eminently to discountenance severely to admonish them and use all fit means for their reclaiming and when that seems hopeless to dismiss them that they may not infect the rest A little leven saith the Apostle leveneth the whole lump Gal. 5. 9. and one ill servant like a perisht tooth will
be apt to corrupt his fellows 'T is therefore the same in families that it is in more public communities where severity to the ill is mercy and protection to the rest and were houses thus early weeded of all idle and vicious persons they would not be so overgrown nor degenerate into such rude wildernesses as many nay I fear most great families now are 52. But as servants are not to be tolerated in the neglect of their duty so neither are they to be defeated of any of their dues Masters are to give to their servants that which is just and equal Col. 4. 1. And sure 't is but just and equal that they who are rational creatures should not be treated with the rigor or contemt of brutes a sufficient decent provision both in sickness and in health is a just debt to them besides an exact performance of those particular contracts upon which they were entertain'd Laban had so much of natural justice that he would not take the advantage of Jacobs relation to him to make him serve him grâ—…tis Because thou art my brother shouldst thou theâ—…fore serve me for nought tel me therefore what shall thy wages be Gen. 29 15. But alas now a daies where servants have bin told nay expresly articled for their wages 't is with many no easy thing to get it nay 't is thought by som Masters an insolence a piece of ill manners to demand it and when they have worn out a servant they either pay him not at all or with the same protraction and regret which they do their Tailors for the old clothes they have cast off I fear there are many instances of this especially among great persons it being a received mode with too many of them to pay no debts to those who are too mean to contest with them But however they may ruffle it out with men it will one day arraign them before God as most injurious oppressors there being no crime of that kind more frequently or severely branded in Scripture then this of detention of the wages of the servant and hireling Besides this examples of injustice wherein the servant is passive is often transcrib'd by him in acts of fraud and deceit and he is apt to think it but an equal retaliation to break his trust where the Master breaks his covenant and when he once attemts to be his own pay-master 't is not to be doubted but he will allow himself large use for the forbearance of his wages so that the course is no less unprofitable to the Master then unjust and dishonorable 53. I am not sure 't is alwaie's in the wives power to prevent this or any of the former faults 〈◊〉 the menage of the family For her authority being but subordinat if the husband who is supreme suspend her power he does by that vacating her rule take off the duty consequent to it so that what I have said can be obligatory to none that are so impeded but to those who either can do it themselves or perswade their husbands to it the omission will be their sin all the profaneness and disorder of the family will be charg'd upon their account if it came by their default 54. And this methinks is a consideration that may much mortify one usual peice of vanity I mean that of a multitude of servants We shall all of us find burden enough of our own personal miscarriages and need not contrive to fetch in more weight from others And in families 't is generally observable that the bigger they are the worse vice gains boldness by numbers is hatcht up by the warmth of a full society and we daily see people venture upon those enormities in consort and in a croud which they would not dare did they think they stood single Besides the wider the province is the more difficult it is well to administer it and in a heap of servants many faults will scape undiscernâ—…d especially considering the common confederacy there is usually amongthem for the eluding of discipline so that what the wiseman speaks of not desiring a multitude of unprofitable children I think may very well be appli'd to servants whose unprofitableness usually increases together with their number I have now run through these several obligations consequent to the maried state wherein even upon this very cursory view there appears so many particulars that if they were all duly attended Ladies need not be much at a loss how to entertain themselvs nor run abroad in a Romantic quest after forreign divertisements when they have such variety of engagements at home SECT III. Of Widows 1. THE next state which can succeed to that of Marriage is Widowhood which tho it supersedes those duties which were terminated meerly in the person of the husband yet it endears those which may be paid to his ashes Love is strong as death Cant. 8. 6. and therefore when it is pure and genuine cannot be extinguisht by it but burns like the funeral lamps of old even in vaults and charnel houses the conjugal love transplanted into the grave as into a finer mould improves into piety and laies a kind of sacred obligation upon the widow to perform all offices of respect and kindness which his Remains are capable of 2. Now those Remains are of three sorts his body his memory and his children The most proper expession of her love to the first is in giving it an honorable Enterrment I mean not such as may vye with the Poland extravagance of which 't is observed that two or three neer succeeding funeralls ruin the family but prudently proportion'd to his quality fortune so that her zeal to his Corps may not injure a nobler relique of him his Children And this decency is a much better instance of her kindness then all those Tragical Furies wherwith som. Women seem transported towards their dead Husbands those frantick Embraces and caresses of a Carcass which betray a little too much the sensuality of their Love And it is somthing observable that those vehement Passions quickly exhaust themselvs and by a kind of Sympathetic Efficacy as the Body on which their assection was fixt moulders so does that also nay often it attends not those lesurely degrees of dissolution but by a more precipitate motion seems rather to vanish then consume 3. The more valuable Kindness therefore is that to his Memory endeavoring to embalm that keep it from perishing and by this innocent Magic as the Egyptians were wont by a more guilty she may converse with the dead represent him so to her own thoughts that his life may still be repeated to her and as in a broken Mirror the refraction multiplies the Images so by his dissolution every hour presents distinct Ideas of him so that she sees him the oftner for his being hid from her eies But as they use not to Embalm without Odors so she is not only to preserve but perfume his Memory render it as fragrant as she