and because a good wife is a creature much set by of God The Lord accounts it a great worke and excellent when hee can informe and instruct women so farre as to make them good wives which should be a great incouragement to wives though God set them long lessons to learne yet it imports he will â—ake great account of them if they be teacheable schollars Againe we may hence gather the vanity of all earthly felicities Before marriage men and women promise themselves much happinesse in their married estates think they could live together with all delight but yet after they are married they see they are deceived and therefore neede to goe to schoole to learne how to behave themselves one to another Further husbands may hence learne of God how to deale with their wives to make them such as might please them they must treate with them by good arguments and not by fretting or reviling or complayning of them Thus in generall The first part of the charge given to wives is the proposition in these words Likewise ye wives be subiect to your owne husbands In which words foure things may be noted 1 The terme of connexion Likewise 2 The parties charged Ye wives 3 The duty required viz. Be in subiection 4 The parties to whom the duty must bee performed viz. To your owne husbands Likewise This terme leades us to the duty of servants intreated of before or else to the worke of conversion to Christ mentioned in the last verses of the former chapter If it leade us as is most likely to the duty of servants in the whole latter part of the former chapter then the Apostle would thereby tell wives That God is no respecter of persons He that requires servants should obey them requires also that wives should obey their husbands and will indifferently punish the faults of both yea if they would have their servants obey them they must make conscience to obey their husbands else it is just with God they should bee vexed by their servants that care not to bee a vexation to their husbands And if it bee referred to the worke of returning to Christ then it teacheth That women must so thinke of the conversion of their soules as that they make not religion a pretence for negligence or disobedience they must so seeke the Lord Iesus as withall they remember to bee subject to their husbands and to looke to their callings in the family Ye wives Note here first that in speaking to the women hee gives them such a title as imports onely their relation to their husbands they have now lost their owne names and their fathers names and are now styled by the terme that bindes them onely to their husbands Note againe that the charge of subjection is to all wives indifferently no difference of age state nation degree or the like can make any difference in the charge God requires subjection of all wives whether poore rich noble wise yongue or old or of what state or quality soeuer A Queen hath no more priviledge than the poorest Cottagers wife Hester 1. Psal. 45.10 Tit. 2.5 and so contrariwise poore mens wives must reverence and obey their husbands aswell as those that are more curiously brought up which should be a comfort to such wives because no more is required of them than what is required of all Note thirdly that the Apostle speakes to women as if hee would single them out by name Ye wives which should teach them to heare their duties as if God did speake particularly to them Be subiect Concerning the subiection of the wives many things may be considered 1 The proofes that it is indispensably required Gen. 3. 19. Eph. 5.24 Col. 3.18 Tit. 3.5 2 The reasons why they must bee subiect and so many reasons may be assigned 1 Because it is Gods expresse will he will have it to be so It is not arbitrary but necessary in respect of Gods commandement and they that will not be subiect must thinke what accounts to give to God for the breach of his commandement 2 It is afterwards urged for example all godly women mentioned in Scripture have obeyed their husbands 3 Because it is equall and meet for if God give the wife power over all in the family but one it is great reason she should bee subiect to him God deales fairely with the wife in that he makes her subiect but to one and lets her rule many 4 Because her husband is her head and the body is governed by the head 1. Cor. 11.3 5 Because the man was not of the woman but the woman of the man 1. Con. 11.8 neyther was the man created for the woman but the woman for the man vers 9. 6 Because the Angels of Heaven doe look for this in all wives 1. Cor. 11.10 7 Because it is comely Colos. 3.18 A wife never carries her selfe with better grace reputation or honour than when she shewes most obedience and subiection to her husband It is a wicked and senselesse pride in many women that they thinke it is basenesse and dishonour to bee at their husbands bands appointment and to be made to do what he listes But these are utterly deceived for their disobedience can commend them to none but such as have an uncleane divell in them What more comely in a childe than to obey his parents so is it in wives Were it comely for the body to stand above the head and to rule it Doth not experience shew that such wives as are so monstrous as to professe they will not be subiect or do in practice crosse their husbands or rule them doe we not see I say that such creatures are hatefull to God and man doe not all sorts of people detest them in their discourse The wife is the image and glory of the man 1. Cor. 11. is it not an ill favoured sight to see a scurvie picture that resembles the substance after a vile fashion As man by obedience is Gods image so is the woman by obedience mans image 8 Wives must bee obedient to their husbands that the Gospell be not evill spoken of especially the younger wives Tit. 2.5 To conclude this point it is to be noted that he saith Yee wives be subiect that is ye Christian wives that professe religion as if hee would say religion should make you not only better women but better wives The husband should feele the benefite of the wives religion even in her carriage towards him she should make it appeare that the more shee heard sermons or read the Scripture or prayed to God the better she would become to her husband Thirdly it may be asked why the Apostle chargeth wives only with subiection seeing many other things are required of them The answer may be first because this of all other things is most essentially requisite as that which characteristically differenceth the duty of the wife She must love her husband but that is so required of her as
of it 58 Attire vitious 14 waies 63 B Blessing kinds thereof 204 Blessings how inherited 214 How they may be gotten 216 How grow in comforts of them 217 Brethren who are so 189 Motives to love as Brethren 190 Brethren how to be loved 191 Rules for brotherly love 193 Brethren how to bee respected in case of sinne 194 C Calling to Christianity 205 Necessity of knowing it 208 Chastity in married persons 44 Motives thereto 45 Preservatives of Chastity 46 How a Chaste wife may be discerned 47 Christians divers sorts of them 209 Church of Rome not to be agreed unto 187 Cohabitation of husbands and wives 114 Compassion 188 What bowells of Compassion import 196 How Compassion rightly ordered 196 Conversion why all not at once converted 31 Corruptible things 71 Courtesie 199 D Daies evill in what respect 229 Daies good in what respect 232 Discords in opinions 184 Causes thereof 185 Divorce 118 Doing well 107 Motives thereto 107 E Earthly things vaine 224 Why they are not to bee loved 226 Example Two vertues of good example 88 How example bindos 90 F Feare of God how shewed 52 Motives to Feare 51 Feare how discerned 50 Feare servile of wicked 48 Who are without Feare 54 Frowardnesse the causes and effects thereof 80 G Good actions how marred 106 Grace manifold 163 What Grace excludes and includes 165 Graces previledge 166 Who sinne against Grace 168 Guile Signes of spirit without Guile 19 H Heart See Man of the heart Heires to Gods Saints 132 Markes of Heires 136 How to carry themselves 138 Men women all Heires 169 Husbands to live quietly with wives 2 Sixteene motives thereto 3 Helpes thereto 6 Causes of disorder betwixt them 5 Husbands duties why in the last place 111 Motives for Husbands to doe their dutie 112 Husbands to dwell with their wives 114 Cases for absence 115 Separation vnlawfull 116 Husbands must dwell with knowledge 123 Husbands must honour their wives 126 I Incorruptible things 73 Ioy spirituall 156 K Knowledge divine excellent 119 Meanes of making Knowledg powerfull 121 How man dwells with Knowledge 123 Properties and effects of Knowledge 144 L Life naturall 224 A meane thing 139 Life spirituall 141 Degrees of it 141 Originall of it 144 Nature of it 144 Nourishers of it 147 Difference betwixt spirituall and eternall life 149 How spirituall life is attained 157 Helpes thereto 158 Signes therof 160 Properties thereof 161 Duties required by vertue of spirituall life 162 Life of man short 234 Love of Life 223 How life to be prolonged 228 Love See Brethren M Man of the heart 66 Wherein he excells the outward Man 67 His naturall condition 68 How he ma be mended 69 How knowne to be right 70 Meckenesse what requisite thereto 76 Helpes to attaine it 81 Minde All of one minde 180 Helpes thereto 182 Miseries of life how avoided 219 N Nullities of Mariage 116 O Obedience six things required thereto 25 Old times what respect to be had thereto 92 P Peace 155 Pittie Motives thereto 168 See Compassion Pleasing God rules for it 84 Praiers excellency 171 Sorts of Praiers 173 How praier is hindred or interrupted 174 Pure how Saints are so stiled 40 Q Quietnesse See Meekenesse How kept quiet in trouble 177 R Repetition of the same things what imported thereby 9 Revenge 201 Revolting causes thereof 17 Righteousnesse 154 S Salvation how furthered 34 Sarah's Daughters 103 Scripture Gods Word 22 See Word Separation betwixt man and wife 116 Spirituall life See Life Subjection of Wives 1â— See Wives T Trust in God Signes thereof 95 Excellency of it 97 Effects of it 97 Rules about it 99 V Vnitie of minde See Minde W Winning men 29 Divers waies thereof 17 Signes of being wonne 18 Divers kinds of Winning 27 How Ministers win Soules 29 How wicked wonne by our conversation 36 How Wives may winne their Husbands 37 WIVES See Husbands See Women Why Wives dueties largely set downe 8 Why Wives ought to be subiect 12 In What Wives are subiect 13 How Wives must be subiect 14 Sonnes of Wives against subiection 15 Wives how they may win their husbands 37 Wives Chastity how seens 47 Wives feare of husbands 55 Wives amazement how caused 109 Women See Wives Women ought first to bee taught their duty 7 Womens frailties 129 Word of God to be obeyed 23 See Scripture FINIS Generall scope Note 16. motives for man and wife to live quietly and comfortably together Vsc. Five speciall causes of disorder betweene man and wife Helpes for man and wife to attaine an orderly and quiet life Reasons to prove that women ought to be taught their duties aswell as men Why the Apostle is so large in setting downe wives duties What things are imported by often repeating of them Note 8. reasons why wives ought to be subject Why the Apostle chargeth wives only with subjection In what things they are to be subject The maner how they must submit In wht cases the wife ought to subject her selfe Particular sinnes of the Wife against subjection Divers waies of winnnig men Note Causes of revolting in many are divers 9 signes to know whether wâ— be wonne effectually 6. things required to sound obedience Divers kinds of winning Note What a Minister must doe to winne soules To be wonne what it imports Note Why all are not converted at once Divers waies from God to further our salvation Doct. â— By what meanes we may winne wicked men in our conversation What things a wife must especially practise to winne her husband Note Vse In what respects godly men are said to be pure Vse Note Motives to chastity Preservatives of chastity How a chast wife may be discerned Reasons why wicked men are smitten with a servile feare Feare two waies considered Reasons why we ought to express this feare of God in our conversation By what waies we must shew this feare of God By what waies we are to expresse this feare of God towards men What sorts of men have not Gods feare Wherein wives shew their fear of their husbands 11. Reasons against vaine attire in women 14. Waies by which apparell or dressing our selves becomes vicious What the man of the heart is His originall Wherein bee excells the outward man His naturall condition very miserable many waies Especially in his workes which are abominable By what means the man of the heart may be mended How we may know when the man of the heart is right Note 7. Things are incorruptible Note What things are requisite to meeknesse Motives to meeknesse Odiousnesse of frowardnesse from the causes and effects of it Helpes for the attaining of quietnesse and meeknesse Rules for our practise so as God may be pleased with us Note â—â—o singular â—ertues in a â—ood example â—hen an examâ—â—e bindes In what things Antiquity is ill pleaded In what cases respect is to be bad unto old times Signes of such as trust in God Reasons proving the excellency of this trusting in God Admirable effects
SERMONS UPON THE TEN FIRST VERSES OF THE THIRD CHAPTER OF THE FIRST Epistle of S. PETER Being the last that were preached by the late faithfull and painfull Minister of Gods word NICOLAS BYFIELD Wherein Method Sense Doctrine and Vse is with great varietie of matter profitably handled and sundry heads of Divinitie largely discussed Published since the Authors death by WILLIAM GOUGE LONDON Printed by H. Lownes for George Latham at the brazen Serpent in Paules Church-yard 1626. TO THE RIGHT HONOVRABLE SIR HORATIO VEERE Knight Lord Veere of Tilbery and Generall of the English Forces in the service of the high and mightie Lords the States Generall of the united Provinces in the Neatherlands And to his pious and vertuous Consort the Lady Mary Veere such encrease of Grace as may bring them to fulnesse of Glory RIGHT HONOVRABLE THe Almighties gracious acceptation of such Oblations as are brought to him encourageth sons of men to offer their Sacrifices on the Altar of his Grace Like ground of encouragement have to lay this Oblation on the Altar of your Honours patronage Of your gracious acceptation thereof these reasons assure me 1. This Impe now presented to your Honours is a twinne to that Posthumus which was heretofore presented to and accepted of your Honours 2. This together with his other brothers was by their owne Father while he lived devoted to your Honours To divert them otherwaies would bee plaine plagium 3. Your Honours did many waies manifest a very good respect to the forementioned Father of this Orphane 4. This Impe it selfe is a goodly Impe and giveth assured hope of doing much good to Gods Church 5. Your Honours high esteeme of all good and faithfull Ministers of their function of their labours and works is well knowne 6. Your Honours mutuall entire affection and sincere and sweet conversation and carriage one towards another is a lively representation and evident demonstration of the truth of that doctrine concerning Husband Wife which is principally handled in this Treatise 7. Your Honour my good Lord hath all your daies been a valiant and faithfull Champion for the Church maintaining her safety and liberty with the perill of your owne life wherein though Communis Mars bellique casus sit incertus yet successe hath oft crowned your valour instance among other famous victories the incomparable conquest by your Honours more than ordinary courage obtained in New-port-field Can now doubt be made of your Honours favour in countenancing this child of the Church 8. Your Honour my good Lady was a diligent frequenter of his Ministery who preached these Sermons and hearing the distinct points when they were first out of the Pulpet uttered so approved them as oft you desired the publishing of them For they were Cygnean songs the last and sweetest of all 9. As the sacred Scriptures so good Commentaries thereon such as this is area solace to your Honours in reading whereof you have manifested much delight Finally many and great are the favours and kindnesses which from time to time your Honours have done to the Publisher of this worke which as in duty he is bound he willingly taketh this occasion in all humility and with all thankfulnesse to acknowledge The premises considered the said Publisher confidently resteth upon your Honours patronage and boweth his knees before the Throne of Grace for a mercifull Remembrance and bountifull Remuneration of that Goodnesse which your Honours have done to the Church of God to the poore Members and faithfull Ministers thereof and in speciall to the Author of this Commentary yea and to the Publisher thereof Your Honours much obliged William Gouge Black-Friers London 25. Ian. 1625. AN EXPOSITION of part of the third Chapter of the first Epistle generall of PETER 1. Pet. cap. 3. vers 1.2.3.4 Likewise let the Wives be subject to their Husbands that even they which obey not the word may without the word be wonne by the conversation of the Wives 2. While they behold your pure conversation which is with feare 3. Whose apparelling let it not be outward as with broyded hayre and gold put about or in putting on of apparell 4. But let the hid man of the heart be uncorrupt with a meeke and quiet spirit which is before God a thing much set by FRom the thirteenth verse of the former chapter to the eight verse of this chapter the Apostle exhorts to such duties as concern particular Christians and so either in the Common-wealth where he exhorts subjects from verse 13. to 18. or in the Family where he exhorts eyther servants verse 18. to the end of the former chapter or wives and husbands in the first seven verses of this chapter So that in these first seven verses the Apostle intreats of the duties betweene man and wife and first sets downe the wives duety from vers 1. to 7. and then the mens duetie in the seventh verse In laying downe the wives duty hee proceeds in this order First he briefly propounds the substance of her duty in the first words Wives be subâ—ect Secondly hee expounds upon it by shewing divers particular things she must expresse in her conversation as Amiablenesse vers 1. Chastitie and Feare vers 2. Mecknesse vers 3.4 Then thirdly he confirmes all by two reasons both taken from example first of godly women in generall vers 5. secondly of Sarah in particular vers 6. Before I set upon the particular parts of the Text divers things would be noted in generall First in that this Apostle and other Apostles thinke it fit with such effectuall termes when they write to the Churches to give such speciall charge to Husbands and Wives it shewes That God doth greatly desire that they should in a speciall manner be carefull to leade an orderly and comfortable life together Whatsoever in domesticall matters is sometimes omitted in the Text yet seldome in any place that treats of family-family-duties is the duty of Husbands and Wives left out Here it is vehemently urged and so in the Epistle to the Ephesians which should worke in all that feare God a care and conscience of these duties and of carrying themselves in the best manner they can one towards another Now the substance of an orderly life betweene man and wife is to love one another with all constancy tendernesse and fidelity to shew one heart in all things helping one another to doe the duties of the family especially in the service of God and in carrying the crosses may light upon them in their callings encouraging and comforting one another honoring one another before others and bearing one with another in respect of infirmities and each of them striving to doe exactly the duty that belongs to each Now that men and women may bee carefull hereof many motives may be alledged and ought to be thought upon 1 Because this society betweene one man and one woman in marriage was instituted of God himselfe and was the first society that he brought into
Wastefulnesse either by improvidence or vaine expences Prov. 14.1 especially when they are so impudently monstrous as to professe they will not bee ruled by their husbands but will be masters And thus of the dutie charged upon the Wives The parties to whom they owe this duety followes and they are their owne Husbands To your owne Husbands Two things may be noted 1 That all husbands have the same right and authority over their wives Wives must be subiect though their husbands be poore yea though they bee froward and perverse yea as the Coherence shewes here though they be carnall and wicked persons and so though they bee ignorant and not able to dwell with them as men of knowledge though they be diseased and in great affliction as Iob was 2 That wives are to be subiect onely to their husbands not to their children or servants much lesse to a strange woman if the wicked husband should bring any into the family and she must be subiect to her owne husband to be directed and ordered by him not by the husband of another woman Thus of the proposition the explication of it followes where the Apostle requires three things of the wife 1 Amiablenesse in her carriage that shee might winne her husband if it were possible vers 1. 2 A chaste conversation with feare vers 2. 3 Meeknesse and a quiet spirit vers 3.4 For the first part wee are to note two things about the amiablenesse of her behaviour First the fruite to bee hoped for by it viz. the winning of the husband Secondly the meanes how it should be done viz. by conversation Might be wonne What kinde of winning doth hee here meane I answer first an obedient carefull wife may winne her husband to be a good husband that was before a froward unruly unkinde violent or injurious husband But I thinke 〈◊〉 is not that which is here meant or not all the Apostle mâ—anes for he meanes it of winning of the carnall husband to religion Quest. But can any man be made a religious man without the Word can a man be saved and finde the way to Heaven without the preaching of the Gospell Answ. I take it the Apostle doth meane only of a winning by way of preparation in generall as the good conversation of the wife may winne the husband not to thinke so ill of the religion she professeth as he did and may winne him to bee contented to goe to the meanes to heare the Word by which meanes he may be effectually called and sanctified For the better understanding of this point you must understand that men are said to bee wonne in Scriptures by divers meanes as some have beene wonne to beleeve for the miracles they saw and yet Christ did not trust many of them Iohn 2. Some have been wonne by private admonition but that is to be understood of perswading them to some good duetie or to receive some truth or to forsake some sinne or error Iames 5. ult Some have been wonne by judgementes and afflictions as the Israelites many times came crying to God for mercie when the hand of God was upon them and yet fell away againe afterwards Some have been wonne by the faire conversation of others as here but the only ordinanary meanes to winne a soule effectually to God is the Word of God preached Rom. 10.14 17. But one thing we may note here That a man may be wonne and yet not effectually A man may convert and change and suffer much alteration and yet not be a new creature yea other Scriptures shew that a man may be wonne by the Word it selfe so as in his owne judgement and the hope of others it seemes his soule is indeed wonne and yet it will come to nothing in the end Wicked men have sometimes great remorses much touched promise reformation consent for the time to enter into the profession of religion like of the way of God in the generall resolve to heare the Word constantly c. and yet all this comes to nothing but vanishent and they returne to their old courses The causes of their revolting are in divers men or times divers Some flye off againe because of reproach Some for want of meanes to nourish what is begun Some are driven backe because they had not cast up their accounts what it would cost them to build the Tower of godlinesse or what would be necessary to overcome so many enemies Some are choaked with worldly cares and lusts but in all the reason is because they were not soundly converted The old heart would never hold out to doe the taske of godlinesse Quest. But being wonne so farre as to like of religion to feele remorse to resolve to become religious c. what did they want of sound conversion Answ. In those that are wonne only to a temporary kind of grace or generall preparation divers things appeare to be wanting as either they had no sound sorrowes for their sinnes or never soundly turned from the love of the world or could not forsake particular beloved sinnes or were never throughly perswaded to forsake carnall dependancies or did not thinke of hyring themselves to doe the worke of godlinesse for ever or had no hearty love to such as feare God or the like The consideration hereof should awaken all sorts especially such as newly entred into the profession of religion to looke to themselves and trye their estates soundly whether they be wonne effectually or no. Quest. But how may I know that I am wonne effectually now at this time of remorse or now that I resolve to take a new course Answ. Thou art right and effectually converted if these things following be true of thee 1 If thou be inwardly abased and humbled in the sight of thine owâ—e viâ—eâ—esse if in thine owne eyes thou discerne thy selfe to be a foole and unapt for Gods kingdome and if thy sinnes be a sensible loade and burthen unto thee of which thou art weary Mat. 5.3 11.29 1. Cor. 3.18 and thy pride and conceitednesse be subdued 2 If thou have overcome the world 1. Iohn 5.4.5 2.15 and canst shew it by forsaking the fellowship of ungodly persons 2. Cor. 6.17 and canst deny the carnall counsell of carnall kindred Mat. 10. and canst hold on this course notwithstanding the reproaches will bee cast upon thee and others Esa. 8. 59.15 1. Pet. 4.5 and dost finde that thy taste in earthly things is marred so as thou dost not finde that favour in them thou wast wont to doe Rom. 8.5 3 If nothing can heale thee of those remorses thou feelest but the Word and Ordinances of God Hosea 6.1.2 If merry company carnall counsell or time will heale thee without spirituall medicine thou art not right 4 If thou have attained to an estimation of Iesus Christ above all things accounting him only pretious and findest that thy heart striveth to settle it selfe in the trust upon him and his merits Phil. 3.8 Gal. 6.14 1
preserved Object But we are so provoked and have such wrongs as are very great and absurd c. Sol. Else it were no great praise to be quiet a Mastive a Bare a Lyon it may be can bee quiet sometimes if they be not stirred or provoked There is nothing from without us can make us vicious without the working of a vile nature in our soules The use should be first for instruction I may say of meeknesse and quietnesse as Christ said of humility If you beare these things blessed are you if you doe them Iohn 13. Now there are many reasons should move us to be very carefull to expresse a meek quiet spirit in our behaviour at home and abroad as first Gods commandement Hee requireth this at our hands earnestly as appeareth by the places before quoted and other Scriptures Prov. 4.24 Secondly wee have an excellent example for it in Christ and hee chargeth us of all the things which be immitable in him to learne meeknesse and lowlinesse of him Mat. 11.29 Thirdly it will be a signe of our election and true sanctification and that God loves us Col. 3.12 Psal. 147.6 and that wee have attained the wisedome that is from above Iames 3.17 Fourthly it is a great ornament to a man as this Text imports and that both in the sight of God and man A meek behaviour is very lovely and comely Pro. 19.11 5 Hereby we shall bring much rest to our soules Mat. 11.29 Our hearts and consciences will bee at great peace whereas there are many occasions of trouble to our consciences which flow from passion and an unquiet and contentious course of life 6 Meeknesse is uncorruptible It will last for ever both in the habite of it and in the comfort and fruit of it and besides it will keepe the spirit from such putrifaction and corruption as passion and unquietnesse useth to breed in the spirits of other men 7 Meeknesse makes the heart very capable of grace of the Word of God The heart is fit to have the Word graffed upon it when it is meek and quiet Iames 1.21 and the Lord teacheth the humble his way Psal. 25. Pro. 3.32 and he will give more grace to the humble Iam. 4.7 8 God will be the protection of the meek hee will relieve them and make them glorious by deliverance Psal. 76.8.9 147.5.6 149.4 Zeph. 2.3 Yea a meek spirit is a great advantage to a mans outward estate for the meeke shall inherite the earth God loves no Tenants better than such nor grants longer leases to any than to them Mat. 5.6 Secondly this discourse of a meeke and quiet spirit should greatly humble such Christians as are froward and passionate and unquiet and in particular such wives as are guilty of these or the like faults Now that this use may bee more profitable to these Christians I would adde two things first reason to disswade them from frowardnesse and unquietnesse secondly I would shew them remedies how to help themselves against these faults There be many things observed in Scripture and which they may feele in themselves which should move them to hearty repentance for this unquietnesse and frowardness as to consider 1 The causes of frowardnesse unquietnesse which are in generall their ill nature and in particular Pride idlenesse want of love to those with whom they converse ignorance and love of earthly things From these or some of these roots proceeds this vice 2 That the Scripture maketh this fault to bee a signe of a wicked and naughty person Pro. 6.12.14 21.24 especially where one is guilty of it in the power and custome of it and besides reckons it among the faults of which there is little hope of cure Pro. 29.20 3 It causeth many and vile effects for 1 It is a great affliction and vexation to such as converse with them that are guilty of it as these places shew Pro. 17.1 21.9.19 27.3.15 2 It is very hurtfull to the party that is guilty for it makes him runne into many sinnes as these places shew Pro. 17.19 22.8 29.22 Psal. 37.8 and besides it brings upon him great misery for it makes a breach in his spirit within Prov. 15.4 and brings much mischiefe upon him without Pro. 17.20 and further it makes him abominable in the sight of God Pro. 3.32 8 13. 11.20 and shames him almost incurably amongst men Pro. 12.8 25.9 10. and further no body that is wise will make any friendship with them but every body will avoide them asmuch as they can Prov. 22.24 Wives that be so froward and peevish and hard to please and unquiet should much thinke of these things And yet besides it interrupts praier 1 Pet. 3.7 and is a great hinderance to the power of the Word Iames 1.19 20. 21. lastly if it bee not repented of it will bring damnation of body and soule Mat. 5 22. 3 It grieves the spirit of God Eph 4.30 Now Christian men or women that desire to mend this fault of frowardnesse and unquietnesse may attaine unto reformation if they will carefully observe these rules following 1 They must study to be quiet 1 Thes. 4.12 They must not trust their owne conceits of things but with good conscience study how to prevent occasions of unquietnesse and how to carry themselves discreetly and with meeknesse It doth require much study to live quietly 2 They must bee sure they meddle with their owne businesse as it is further added in the same place They must bee sure to place their greatest care in learning how to discharge their owne dueties to others and not allow themselves liberty to suspect or censure the waies of others with whom they converse Such wives as are so diligent to study their husbands dueties and to finde fault with them in their callings seldome or never live quietly with their husbands whereas the Apostle here would have such wives as have ill husbands to lay the ground of a quiet life in the care of sound discharge of their owne dueties to their husbands 3 They must heartily repent for their faults of unquietness frowardnesse past not only humble their soules in secret before God for such sinnes but also shew their repentance to those with whom they coverse by an humble acknowledgement of their vile nature and froward behaviour even in the particulars of it Repentance for known trespasses can never bee sound if it bee secret and not made knowen to the parties grieved 4 It will wonderfully helpe them if they pray constantly to the Lord Iesus that left such a patterne of meeknesse and to entreat him by influence of his grace to quiet and sweeten their natures Beseech the Lord Iesus even by his meeknesse to make us meek and able to expresse his vertue in a quiet conversation 5 They must not give place to wrath but if they perceive their hearts rising and inclined to passion and provoking and censorious words
be loved when their husbands are not loved Thus of the fourth point the fift point is the effect and that is they adorned themselves Adorned themselves In all ages the comelinesse and ornament of a wife as a wife was to obey her husband with meeknesse and feare and those were the comeliest and best apparelled women in the sight of God their husbands and good men that were most quiet and easie to be governed and willingest to please their husbands And so on the contrary a wife were a very unhandsome woman and not fit to please any wise man that were of a froward and unquiet disposition eyther through anger or crying or the like yea though shee had otherwise never so great an estate or never so excellent gifts of nature of minde or bodie yea if she could be imagined to have true holinesse and grace yet she were but a loathsome creature And this doctrine as it should move all wives so especially such as have not other things to commend them but want eyther portion or beautie or skill or have but weake gifts in Religion these should be the more carefull to recompence their husbands and strive to please them in this way of adorning themselves The matter of the example is Subjection to their husbands and of that I have entreated in the exhortation it selfe The speciall argument is taken from the particular example of Sarah vers 6. Where we are to observe 1 What shee did viz. shee obeyed Abraham calling him Lord. 2 What fruit will follow to Christian wives if they follow her example viz. they shall become her daughters 3 Vpon what condition they shall obtaine that honour viz. if they doe well and be not affraid of any amazement Sarah The names here mentioned are Sarah and Abraham and both their names are kept in the Christian Church not as they were at first but as they were changed of God out of his love and respect to their faith and obedience The woman was first called Sarai which signified My Lady or My Mistris but after was changed into Sarah to signifie that she should be a Mistris to many or a Mistris indefinitely meaning that she should have a great posteritie as the mans name was changed into Abraham and signified a father of many nations From the giving of the names we may gather 1 Such as glorifie God by beleeving and keeping his covenant and patient bearing of adversitie shall be blessed of God and in particular shall have this blessing of a happy posteritie A godly life brings God to us and our families and an ungodly life drives him away 2 That God is no accepter of persons but godly wives shall have their part in the blessing of godly husbands This christian wives may looke for if they be as Sarah holy women and such as obey their husbands and are a comfort and helpe to them in all the travailes of their lives and no way hinder godlinesse in them Obeyed Abraham Diverse things may be noted hence 1 That obedience is the chiefe thing required in the subjection of wives shewing how Sarah was subject he saith she obeyed him The maine thing required of wives is to be ruled by their husbands Those wives transgresse that are not carefull to see that done which their husbands require with reason require and those that crosse their husbands and vexe them by opposing or censuring especially those that will not be quiet unlesse they may doe what they list and rule their husbands 2 That as much is due to everie husband as was due from Sarah to Abraham else this argument of the Apostle had not beene good They might have said that Abraham was a great man and holy and wise and loving c. but the Apostle requires that what women would doe for the substance of obedience if they had Abraham to their husband that must they doe to him that is now their husband And the reason is cleare Because Gods commandement in the morall Law prescribes the same honour to be given to all husbands and in the new Testament obedience is required of all wives to all husbands And this was the more observeable in Sarah because in obeying Abraham shee was faine to leave her owne countrey and be exposed to a world of paines and danger and wants 3 That the discharge of domesticall dueties is a good worke and shall be had in everlasting remembrance Though all good wives have not the honour to be written in Gods booke of Scripture and praised therein yet they have the honour to be written in Gods booke of Remembrance which shall be opened at the last day and so contrariwise Calling him Lord. That shee did so call him the Apostle found written Gen. 18.12 Hence we may observe 1 That godly wives ought to acknowledge their husbands to have power over them as if they had been servants bought with their mony not that their subjection is no better than the subjection of servants but that the husbands have aswell power over them as they have over their servants Sarah doth not in judgement only acknowledge it as due but with wonderfull affection doth easily and with great love give that title to Abraham 2 That it is one part of the subjection of wives to carry themselves reverently towards their husbands and to give them such titles as may shew that they doe heartily honour them 3 We may here observe the wonderfull goodnesse of God towards his servants that in a great heape of sinne can see accept of a little spark of true grace The whole sentence of Sarah was vile and prophane only that word was good God praiseth her for that was good and passeth by the great fault she committed Yea we may note that God is so well pleased with her loving subjection to her husband that hee is content to forgive her great sinne of unbeliefe against him Yea it is probable that her great respect of her husband made her the more willingly to beleeve Gods promise afterwards for Heb. 11.11 she is commended iudging God to be faithfull who had promised her a child though at first she laughed at it Whose daughters ye are Godly women may be said to bee the daughters of Sarah three waies 1 If Sarah be taken mystically for the new Ierusalem as Gal. 4. 2 In respect of inheriting the love and blessing of God which Sarah had they shall be her daughters that is they shall have the same portion from God as if they had come in Sarahs roome as in the case of Abraham is said Rom. 4.11 16. 3 In respect of spirituall kindred and alliance Christian women are as neere a kinne to Sarah as if they were her owne daughters So that the maine doctrine from hence is That there is a spirituall kindred and consanguinitie betweene the godly About which from this place wee may observe diverse positions 1 That all the godly are a kinne and the reason is Because they are all
the children of one father that is God and all borne of the immortall seed of the Word 2 That they are neere a kinne as neere as mothers and daughters or as brothers and sisters as Christ said of his kindred Matth. 12.49 50. Here are no cousins removed 3 That this kindred doth conferre a reall honour upon every Christian so as the Christian wives are as truely great as if they were immediately descended out of Sarahs womb 4 That God himselfe doth seriously acknowledge this kindred and lookes upon the meanest Christian as truly allied to the greatest Worthies have ever beene in the world 5 That this neerenesse of consanguinitie is not a jot altered by the distance of hundred of yeares as in the Apostles time the glorie of alliance with Sarah did shine in Christian women the reason is Because the root of this consanguinitie is ever alive which is Christ. 6 That Christians are not borne to this kindred but made so Godly women were not borne daughters of Sarah but became so after their new birth 7 That that which breeds this spirituall kindred is not being Gossips at the Font nor no carnall propagation Rom. 9.8 but Faith Rom. 4.16 and well-doing as this Apostle saith in this Text. The use may be first to comfort godly Christians against the want and losse of carnall kindred and to teach us all to honour such as are truely godly for they are the onely excellent ones and have the greatest and best kindred in the world Yea we should preferre our godly kindred before our carnall in the dearenesse of our love and the godly should shew all dueties of love one to another as they that are mothers and daughters brothers and sisters in the Lord and so should stand one for another as men would doe for their carnall kindred A second doctrine may be noted from hence That all Christians are not alike in gifts some are mothers some are daughters As it is in the body of a man all the members are not of like honour or use though all serve for the good of the bodie 1. Cor. 12. Which should teach those of greater gifts not to despise those of lesser gifts and those of lesser gifts to honour those of greater gifts and both sorts to praise God for the gifts they have having nothing but what they have received and to be a daughter of Sarah being sufficient to get the blessing that Sarah had her selfe So long as you doe well Observe hence 1 That Christians obtaine not the proper priviledges of communion of Saints unlesse they doe well None but Christians that leade a holy life have the honour of true spirituall kindred with Christ and the Saints Matt. 12.49 50. Wicked Christians are a kinne to the Divell 2 That we are bound only to imitate that which is good in the Saints not their sinnes They must follow Sarah in her well-doing they must not imitate her in her frowardnesse Gen. 16.5 nor in her bold aâ—venturing of her chastitie though it were upon pretence of saving her husbands life Gen. 12.11 12. And this condemnes those women that so wilfully alledge the examples of others to uphold them in such behaviour as their owne consciences tell is naught 3 It is imported here that some women may doe well for a time and yet prove verie naught afterwards Some begin in the spirit and end in the flesh Some women are at first quiet sober loving to their husbands good house-wives c. and yet after a time they grow froward excessive in apparell dyet and the like imperious such as slight their husbands idle wastfull and carelesse of the duties they should doe in the family They are condemned of themselves and shall rise in judgement against themselves their first works condemne their last 4 In generall we may here note That it is not enough to doe good but we must see to it that what we doe be well done Quest. What can come to a good action to make it ill Answ. Impenitencie in any sinne will staine any action though it be in it selfe never so good Esa. 1.13 16. 2 An ill end will defile a good action to doe it of purpose to be seene of men Matth. 6. or as men-pleasers in the case of wives or servants or subjects c. 3 Vnbeleefe makes all actions ill Whatsoever is not of faith is sinne when we eyther know not the warrant of it or beleeve not Gods acceptation 4 Rashnesse and indiscretion marres good actions Prov. 19.2 when men have not respect to the circumstances of well doing or the provision should goe to it when good duties are done rudely and without respect of due time and place c. We should be wise to doe good Rom. 16.19 5 Vnwillingnesse defiles a good action when it seemes evill to us to serve God Iosh. 24.14 when our works are dead workes Heb. 9.14 Deut. 28.47 6 When the fruit men beare is not their owne fruit as if a King will offer sacrifice or women preach or the like And so when wives doe not the duties of wives though they did never so much good other wayes yet they have not the praise of well doing unlesse they doe their duties to their husbands the like may be said of Magistrates Ministers Husbands Parents Servants c. 7 Confidence in the flesh marres good dueties when men trust to their owne wits reason skill or any gifts and doe not all they doe in the name of Iesus Christ. Col. 3.17 Phil. 3.3 and in particular conceitednesse and to be wise in themselves and proude will marre any action All should be done in meekenesse of wisedome 8 Inconstancie shames any action when we are wearie of well doing or wavering or decline and goe backwards their righteousnesse being as the morning dew Quest. Can any thing wee doe be well done seeing all our righteousnesse is as a menstruous cloth Esa. 64.6 Answ. Our workes in themselves are none well done but by Gods indulgence assured unto us in the new Covenant Where h. 1 Accepts the Will for the Deed. It is well done when our desire and endevour is to doe it as well as we can 2 He beholds the worke in Christ and for his intercession passeth by the evill that cleaves to our best workes 3 He regards it as proceeding from his owne Spirit in us who causeth us to doe good and worketh our workes for us as in the instance of prayer Rom. 8.26 Thus of the fourth observation Doct. 5. From the manner of the terme in the originall which hath a continuall respect to the present time and imports a continuall well doing I note That a Christian should strive to be alwayes doing good he should let no time passe without well doing 2. Tim. 2.21 2. Cor. 9.8 Psal. 106.2 Col. 3.10 1. Thess. 5.15 1. Tim. 5.10 And that for many reasons 1 Because he hath so little a time left to work in He should walke in the light
while hee hath the light the night will come when no man can worke and the rather since hee hath lost so much time in doing workes of darkenesse hee should now redeem the time Ephes. 5.15 1. Pet. 4.2 3. 2 Because he is Gods servant and therefore should be alwayes working Rom. 6. yea hee is Gods Sacrifice therefore should he be wholy devoted to the doing of good Rom. 12.1 3 Because wee have our taske set us and ever the more worke we doe the sooner we shall fulfill the measure prescribed us 4 Because hereby we shall much glorifie God Matt. 5.16 and silence wicked men 1. Pet. 2.12 15. 5 Because God is faithfull and will not forget our works and labour we shall be rewarded accordingly If wee sowe sparingly we shall reape sparingly 2. Cor. 9. Heb. 6.11 Gal. 6.9 God giveth us richly to enjoy all things in this world 1. Tim. 6.17 and our continuance in well doing will be marvellously rewarded in heaven Rom. 2.7 Now that we may doe much good wee must pray God to stablish us in everie good word and worke 2. Thess. 2.17 and withall we must furnish our selves with directions out of the Scriptures and studie the rules of life there prescribed 2. Tim. 3.16 17. Iam. 3.17 and then we must be sure to make use of all the opportunities of well doing And be not affraid with any amazement These words may be diversly referred and so diversly expounded If they be referred to the exhortation to subjection to their husbands in the manner before shewed then the sense may be that they should not feare that they should be misused if they were subject or else it limits the manner of subjection that they should not be subject onely for feare or out of basenesse of minde feare should not be the ground of their obedience but conscience of Gods commandements and love to their husbands If they be referred to the example of Sara they may be taken eyther as a promise or as a condition as a promise thus If they imitate Sarah in well doing they need not be affraid of the troubles of a married estate for by this course those troubles will be prevented or the tribulation they shall have in the flesh will not be great Or they may be the second as a condition of their filiation If they will bee Sarahs daughters then they must learne of Sarah to beare the troubles and afflions may befall them and their husbands without disquietnes and amazement Sarah could leave her owne countrey and was a comfort to her husband and we never reade that shee any way discouraged her husband or complained of miserie though she was faine to live in manie strange places and had not at any time any certaine abode any where But I thinke the words may be interpreted in generall as contayning a prohibition of excessive feares and consternation of minde which is often found in women to the great offence and disquieting of their husbands The word translated Amazement notes such a perplexitie of minde in which one is almost at â—is witts end and therefore the Verbe of which this Noune is derived is used in the New Testament onely in these cases as in the cases of rumours of warres or seditions readie to seaze upon a people Luke 21.9 or in the case of a conceit that one sees a ghost or spirit Luke 24.37 And such as eyther of these doe women sometimes fall into and this the Apostle forbids He doth not forbid all feare for they must feare their husbands Ephes. 5 ult and they must feare God 2. Cor. 7.11 Nor doth hee severely taxe that naturall fearefulnesse in women which followes their sexe but only such desperate vexations or passions as suffer them not to make use of their trust in God or love to their husbands Quest. What causes can there be imagined why these Christian wives should be in danger of any such consternation of minde Answ. The Apostle might well imagine diverse causes of this frailtie 1 They had husbands that were Infidels which might be a great grievance to them and besides those husbands might perhaps absolutely forbid them or labour to restraine them from the exercises of Christian Religion which might put them into a great strait 2 Their profession of Christian Religion might bring upon them manie tribulations and persecutions which women are not so able to beare 3 It may be the Apostle had observed that women were apt to fall into these desperate fitts of passion and grieving when they were crossed by their husbands or servants or children Sure it is that many women nowadayes if their husbands doe but crosse them in reasonable things they will cry and grieve as if they would die in the vexation of their hearts These strange humours and perplexities and desperate fitts the Apostle absolutely forbids hee would not have anie of them found in a Christian wife Vers. 7. Likewise yee husbands dwell with them according to knowledge giving honour unto the wife as unto the weaker vessell as being heyres together of the grace of life that your prayers be not hindred HItherto of the dueties of Wives the Husbands duetie followes in the words of this Verse Where three things are to be observed 1 The proposition of their duetie Husbands dwell with them 2 The exposition shewing how they must doe it viz. as men of knowledge and such as honour them 3 The Reasons which are three 1 Because they are the weaker vessell and therefore need to be carefully and continually well used 2 Because they are both alike heyres of Gods grace 3 Because else their prayers and Gods service will bee much interrupted and hindred In the Proposition may be observed first the word of connexion Likewise Secondly the terme of application Yee Thirdly the persons charged Husbands Fourthly the duetie imposed viz. Dwell with them Likewise This terme bindes these words to the former and shewes That God doth charge husbands to looke to their dueties aswell as wives Now if God charge the husband it evidently imports that evill husbands must give account to God of all the evill they doe though no law of man punish them yet God will that gave them this law And withall it may comfort such husbands as are censured without cause God that hath given them their charge knowes their integritie whatsoever foolish wives object or a vaine world imputes to them And in generall God will accept and reward the carefull behaviour of good husbands But before I proceed two questions may be asked Quest. 1. Why are husbands charged in the last place Answ. There may be two reasons given of it first to shew the respect that God gives to husbands Hee first by his precept informes his wife before his face and shewes him a patterne how hee shall walke towards him and therefore now may the more willingly attend to his owne duetie Secondly because things last spoken have usually the greatest longest impression upon the
heart and this is a matter of great consequence that the husband be soundly carefull of the discharge of his dutie The well-being of the family and the well-doing of both man and wife depends much upon the husbands right behaviour If the head be out of order how can the bodie be well and the wife being the image of the husband what shall she learne of him if he give an ill patterne If the eye be darke how can the bodie be light If the Pilot of the Ship be ignorant and carelesse what safetie can the Ship be in Besides what a world of hurt will the ill example of the husband doe in the family eyther in children or servants Quest. 2. But why are husbands charged with so few wordes Ans. Because it is to be supposed that they have a larger knowledge of Gods will And besides in that tender age of the Christian world the Apostles in discretion said lesse to superiours to avoide provocation of irreligious husbands and the better to allure them to the Christian faith when they should see their wives so largely instructed in their behaviour towards them And further ever the shorter their lesson is the more shame for them not to learne it and shew themselves exact both in the understanding and in the practise of it Yee Husbands God speakes to them in the second persons to import that they should heare these words as if God were present to speak to them in his owne person withall to teach them that the right hearing of this doctrine is for everie man to heare it as spoken directly to himselfe God doth single them out to heare their charge and speakes to them as if he named them in particular Husbands The persons charged are Husbands and the word is a terme that imports that speciall relation in which God bindes one man to one woman investing the man in prerogatives of a superiour in that union Before I come to the dutie charged upon Husbands it will not be unprofitable by way of Preface to use some motives to such husbands as will make conscience of their wayes to perswade them to be verie carefull of their charge The reasons used in the Text afterwards I will not now meddle withall but only put them in minde of some few things which ought to be effectuall to perswade them The motives may be drawn from foure fountaines 1 From commandement and there let them consider who commandeth them and how Who commandeth them and so let them marke first that God himselfe hath given them their law of walking They are not tyed by mans lawes but by Gods owne law Secondly God speakes to them by the Ministerie of great Apostles it was one part of the Commission of those high Ambassadours sent into the Christian world to give husbands their charge Thirdly it should somewhat the more move them that S. Peter was himselfe a married man and therefore did practise what he taught them and did know by experience that a husband might with comfort undertake this taske And then it should much move them to observe how God hath given his commandement to them hee first chargeth their wives before hee chargeth them And besides he hath given a long charge to the wives and but a short charge to them 2 From their relation to their wives They are their wives heads and therefore should be carefull how they order themselves They are the life of their lives as it were God hath made the wife to depend upon them for comfort and direction and preservation 3 From their prerogatives God hath given them great power more than the wives They are heads to their wives and besides they are images of Iesus Christ they shew in the family what Christ is in the Church they doe as it were act Christs part and resemble him in his relation to the Church and therefore they had need to thinke of it how they carrie themselves They are types of Iesus Christ and will they shame him by acting folly passion pride and dissolutenesse Did Christ doe so to the Church Besides it should much move him that God hath in the most things left the husband free from the lawes of men Hee hath no man to controule him in his office and hath not God made him both King and Priest in his family His household is a little kingdome or a little Church where hee is of soveraigne power and hath great supremacy and if the world acknowledge not the glory of his place yet it is acknowledged in heaven 4 From the manner of his comming into this relation he was not borne a husband but made so and made so by the gift of God for God gave him his wife as hee did Eve to Adam yea let him consider that God gave him the wife that was of his owne choosing and whom with so much desire he longed after and it may be praied for But especially let him consider that God hath bound him to his wife by covenant yea that he hath bound himself to God by covenant for this thing yea that the oath of God is upon him he hath sworne before the Lord to do his duty Thus of the generall motives Further in that he said Husbands indefinitely hee shewes thereby That all husbands are bound to observe this charge all alike God chargeth rich learned wise godly husbands asmuch and aswell as poore unlearned and ill disposed men Two uses may bee made of this point for first hereby wee may see cleerly that outward things make no difference before God when God gives a law he gives it to all men as if they were but one man Civill difference of blood nations calling condition or common gifts makes no exception from any when God gives his law Secondly such husbands as finde an outward difference from other husbands either in their gifts or greatnesse of meanes or highnesse of office or calling should lay aside all thought of such things and shew as much respect to their wives as any other men that have no such things to boast of And yet one thing more I may adde to such hearers as heare this doctrine seeing God chargeth all they should take heed of that common fault of thinking of other husbands and how the doctrine will fit them and so neglect application to themselves Dwell with them The duety charged upon husbands is contained briefly in these words and under this phrase of dwelling with them is comprehended in effect all essentiall matrimoniall dueties For it imports 1 Not only cohabitation but also 2 Separation from all the world to a speciall fellowship with that woman 3 Communion of goods They that must be partners of Gods treasures in Heaven must bee partners in all outward blessings All things should bee common so as the husband must provide maintenance for his wife and that not onely while he lives with her but he ought as he is able to provide for her maintenance after he is
dead 4 Mutuall benevolence or the mutuall use of each others bodies 1. Cor. 7. 5 Delight in her company so as to bee loath to be absent from her 't is not inough to be with her but hee must dwell with her Pro. 5.19 6 Serving of God together as the last reason in the end of the verse shewes Now divers reasons may bee given of this why husbands should dwell with their wives 1 From the institution of marriage divers things may bee noted as that God said hee would provide a helper for man to be before him Gen. 2.18 and besides Adam confessed she was bone of his bone and flesh of his flesh which the Apostle urgeth Eph. 5. And further it is said For this cause shall a man leave father and mother and cleave to his wife and they shall be one flesh All which imports a necessity of living together 2 From the example of Christ Husbands should love their wives as Christ loved the Church Now how Christ desires to be with the Church may bee seene in the Canticles and he hath promised he will bee with his Church to the end of the world Mat. â—8 3 From the unnaturalnesse of the offence of living asunder did ever any man hate his owne flesh saith the Apostle Ephes. 5. or can the arme or head in the naturall body live well from the other parts of the body no more either comely or convenient is it for husbands to live from their wives The use is therefore for great reproofe of many husbands that haue so little desire or delight to converse in this holy and loving manner with their wives but study all occasions to draw them from home yea some men had rather live abroad with their dogs or hawkes than at home with their wives But especially those beasts are abominable that leave the society of their wives to follow strange women that is Whores Secondly here is somewhat for wives too If they would haue their husbands to keepe home and delight in their company they must labour to be amiable and pleasing and study to be quiet and obedient that their husbands may be encouraged with delight to live with them Againe the indefinite propounding of the duety shewes that they must dwell with them at all times not for the first quarter after they are married but for ever and that for conscience sake not only to avoide shame or the displeasure of the wives friends or only while her portion lasts or for such like carnall respects But before I leave this point something would bee said of foure cases of absence which may be put as first the case of absence in respect of Calling secondly the case of separation from bed and boord thirdly the case of Nullities fourthly the case of Divorce For the first when God gives a man a just calling to live from his wife or to goe into forraine parts it is lawfull to forbeare cohabitation for the time As in the case of Souldiers or Marchants or Ministers that are called to exercise their Ministeries in remote places In these cases when the wives cannot or will not goe with them they may lawfully live absent yea though their wives consent not to it Because all relations to man must give place to our relation to God Now when God calls any man to any imploiment no man can disanull that calling and therefore such in the Ministery as have lawfull callings to exercise their Ministeries in other countries and have not sit imploiment at home doe very sinfully when they refuse to preach the Gospel in such places upon that silly pretence that they cannot get their wives to consent For the second viz. the case of Separation from bed boord it is for the most part verie wicked and abominable because we have not eyther commandement or permission or example of any such in the Word of God And besides experience shewes it breedes a world of scandalous inconveniences Though I doubt not but in some speciall cases the Magistrate or Church may cause such a separation for a time but as it is ordinarily practised by divers husbands and wives it is verie vile For the third viz. the case of Nullities we must understand in divers cases though the man have bound himselfe by the contract or consummation of marriage to the woman yet he must not dwell with her because such contracts and marriages are meere Nullities in the sight of God and of no force 1 If hee marry her that is divorced for any other cause than fornication Matth. 19.9 2 If the marriage be incestious that is within any of the degrees prohibited in the law of God see Levit. 18. Which lawes were not ceremoniall or politicall but morall and naturall which may appeare as by other reasons so by this one God saith hee did destroy the Nations for such incestious Matches Levit. 18.24 Now God could not punish the Nations for breaking a law was never given them The ceremoniall and politicall lawes were given to the Iewes and not to the Gentiles thus it was not lawfull for Herod to have his brothers wife nor must the Corinthian that married his fathers wife be suffered to dwell with her 1. Cor. 5. 3 Divines generally agree that if there be a precontract with another person in verbis de presenti in the words of the present time made with consent of parents c. then the marriage after with another is a meer Nullitie and such dwelling together is whoredome Zanchius brings reasons for this from the law of God and Nature and civill and common lawes 4 If a marriage be made without the free consent of the parties or in cases where they are not able to give a free consent as in the marriage with children under age or with mad men or persons that are drunke when they give consent and doe disclaime it when they are sober These are Nullities in the common opinion of Divines of all sorts and the reason is Because the consent of parties is essentially requisite to such a bond 5 If there be error personae an error of the person that is if a man meane to contract marriage with one person and another person is given him as when Leah was given in stead of Rachel to Iacob Divines agree that Iacob might have rejected Leah and that his owne consent afterwards did onely binde him to dwell with her But yet error about the condition or state of the person is no Nullitie If a man contract himselfe to a woman he thinkes to be a free woman and shee proves a bond woman or he thinkes he marries with a rich woman and she proves a poore woman these errors doe not cause a Nullitie he must dwell with her for all this 6 If marriage be contracted with such as are utterly and incurably unapt for marriage this marriage is a Nullitie as in the case of Eunuches some kindes of incurable palsies or the like And about
Word of God upon all occasions Deut. 6.7 Gen. 18.19 They must see that Gods Sabbaths be kept and sanctified in their dwellings and therefore must not onely restraine labour but bring his houshold to the exercises of Religion and privately helpe them by examination or repetition Command 4. Exod. 20.4 yea and by sanctifying them to Gods worship Iob 1.5 which is done by exhorting them to holinesse and preparation and by humbling himselfe in prayer before God for himselfe and them and he must sanctifie the creatures they use by prayer 1. Tim. 4.5 Secondly in speciall towards their wives they must use their knowledge in instructing them or resolving their doubts as there shall be occasion 1. Cor. 14.35 Thirdly they must teach their wives reformation and right order of behaviour by their owne example giving full proofe of their piety discretion providence painfulnesse and meeknesse not daring to commit the faults themselues they reprove in their wives and to live so as not to be liable to any just exception There is a question is often asked about the first branch of this answer and that is whether a woman may performe the dueties of religion in the family in case of the absence or insufficiency of the husband Now for answer thereunto it is hard to give any peremptory rule because in this thing wee have no commandement from the Lord but yet seeing some of the dueties of Religion may bee done by the Wife as instructing of children and servants for the Law of grace should be in her lips Prov. 31. and both Parents are charged with instructing the children Ephes. 6. therefore I thinke by Anallogy it will follow that the wife may doe other duties as pray and repeat Sermons But yet it is most likely that this power extends not further than her children and her maides which was the power Hester used Hest. 4.16 or if it goe further it must be in some speciall cases and with observation of divers circumstances in which their safest way is to get direction and resolution from their learned Pastors 2 Matter of toleration and that in respect of the infirmities of his wife if her infirmities be bodily it must be the praise of his knowledge not to loath her for that because God laieth them on her and she cannot helpe them And for her faults they are either meer frailties arising from ignorance or insufficiency shee cannot helpe and those hee must passe by altogether when he discerneth that shee is not willing to offend in them Prov. 19 10. Or else they are faults shee committeth of knowledge and so they are either curable or incurable Curable are such faults of negligence or waiwardnesse that prove grievous to him or others for these his rule is he must not be bitter to her Col. 3.19 but shew himselfe to be gentle and easie to be intreated Iames 3.17 Hee must use all good meanes of counsell and forewarning of her and intreating and such reproofes as may bee seasonable and secret as much as may be He must avoid raging furious passion and reproaches If her faults be incurable that is such as hee cannot mend by such courses then I suppose hee may flie to the generall remedy of all Christians in the case of trespasses and that is to take one or two with him and admonish her then if she mend not he may flie to his Pastor and such as have charge of soules with him and get them to admonish her But if none of these courses will serve I thinke the Pastor or others imploied in the businesse may give notice as they have occasion to other Christians of her incurablenesse and they may thereupon forsake her company and reject her as a Pagan or a Publicane but for the husband he must cohabite still and with patience beare the crosse God hath laid upon him waiting if at any time God will give her repentance or otherwise restraine her wickednesse 3 Matter of circumspection To dwell according to knowledge is to dwell with circumspection and that hee must shew in matter of his owne right Hee must take heed that by no indulgence or remissenesse hee lose his owne right He must keep his authority and rule as head and not suffer things to be done or disposed ordinarily against his will And for the good ordering of necessary directions if his wife will not obey he must then provide to have things done aswell as he can by his children or servants This I speake of things essentially expedient to the peace or well-being of the family he must not be his wives underling contrary to the order of nature and ordinance of God Gen. 3.16 1. Cor. 11.3 7 8 9. Ephes. 5.23 1. Tim. 2.12 13 14. Secondly hee must shew it in the care of his estate restraining her wastfulnesse if she be given to disorder or wretchlesnesse in that kinde Prov. 14.1 Thirdly in case of sinne against God he must take heed that he nourish not sinne in her by connivence or neglect of counsell or reproofe Iob 2.9 10. Fourthly in case of difference betweene her and her servants so preserving his authority as he judge not partially but with equall judgement shewing the fault whersoever he finde it else he may extreamly harden his servants against them both Giving them honour This is the second thing required in the Exposition They must honour their wives And this the Husband doth 1 When he useth her with signes of his estimation of her according to her ranke in the family and her relation to him intertayning her as his companion and not as his servant or slave To honour her is to carrie himselfe with such respect towards her that all may see that he makes a great account of her as the companion God hath given to him for his life to be a helper to him 2 When he is carefull to protect her from wrongs and dangers and indignities 1. Sam. 30.5 3 When he provides for her maintenance both in his life time and after his death as well as he may allowing her such apparell and other things as may shew manifestly how great account he makes of her and doing all with cheerefulnesse and not like churlish Nabal and the rather because for the most part they are not able to make shift and provide for themselves 4 By the speciall delight hee takes in her above others cherishing her as his owne flesh and making as much of her as he can doe of himselfe Pro. 5.19 Eph. 5.28 5 By suffering himselfe to be intreated and in some cases advised and admonished by her Gen. 21.12 6 By giving her such imployment as her gifts are fit for leaving to her trust such things in the family and his estate as she is fit to dispose of It is dishonour to the wife when the trust of businesses is committed to servants or others when she is able and willing to undertake it Pro. 31.11 7 By yeelding a free and just testimonie of
all a part of all gifts and differ onely in the measure as they have but one faith and one hope And so in all other saving graces Eph. 4.5 4. 1. Cor. 12. Eph. 5. 7. Rom. â— 2 8 They have all the same promises Eph. 3.6 9 They have all the same or the like attendants viz. the Angells of heaven Heb. 1.13 10 They are governed by the same lawes have all one Lord Eph. 4.5 and have all the same way to heaven which is by Christ have all interest in the Teachers of the Word of Christ their Lord 1. Cor. 3.22 11 They shall have all the same glory after this life for the inheritance of them all is immortall and undefiled and without end 1. Pet. 1.4 12 They shall hold their glorie in the same place after this life viz. in heaven 1 Pet. 1.4 The use of this should be greatly for the comfort of weake and poore Christians for though they differ from other men in outward calling or the measure of gifts yet they are in the substance of the inheritance provided for as well as the greatest Kings or Prophets or Apostles And besides it should teach the brethren of higher degree to carrie themselves with all humility towards their poore brethren and it should teach all Christians to love as brethren to be courteous and tender hearted one towards another as followes in the next Verse of this Chapter Thus of the fourth point 5 The fift point is concerning the persons that doe inherit and so the coherence shewes That both sexe are capable of inheriting women as well as men wives as well as husbands God is no respecter of persons but in all conditions of people such as feare him and believe in Christ and worke righteousnesse are accepted adopted of him as these places shew Act. 10.35 Gal. 3.28 Col. 3.11 And this should teach all Christians not to have the glorious faith of Christ in respect of persons Iam. 2.1 2. And in particular such husbands as have religious wives should make the more account of them though God hath made them inferiour to them in outward condition yet hee hath made them equall in the inheritance of life Lest praier be interrupted Hitherto of the second reason to perswade husbands to make conscience of their dutie towards their wives The third reason is taken from the ill effect if it be not done and that is that Gods service and in particular praier will bee hindred and that divers waies First if he dwell not with her praier in the family is like to be omitted it being his worke as the head of the family to performe that duety and to see that his houshold serve God with him Iosh. 24.14 And if he carrie not himselfe as a man of knowledge there may arise such disâ—ord amongst them that they will have no minde either to pray together or one for another at least their passions will tempt them many times to omit prayer and if he give not honour but dispise her hee will have no heart to pray for her whom he contemnes There are many observations may be gathered out of these words as Doct. 1. Praier is a part of Gods service that is necessarily required and not left arbitrary for men to doe or not to doe it Psal. 105.1 1. Thes. 5.17 Mat. 7.7 Rom. 12.12 Eph. 6.18 Col. .4 2. Doct. 2. The exercise of praier is not onely a part of Gods service but it is an excellent part a chiefe part that which much excells Which may appeare First by the nature of it It is an exercise in which a mortall creature talkes with the immortall Creator Secondly by the antiquity of it It is an exercise that godly men have be taken themselves to with great devotion from the first times of the world Gen. 4 26. 21 33. Thirdly by the efficient cause of it God poures out his owne Spirit upon his people of purpose to make them able to pray and therefore is called The Spirit of prayer Zach. 12.11 Ioel 2.28 Rom. 8.26 Fourthly because they are things so precious as Christ takes them and presents them to God covering our imperfections and making them acceptable Rev. 8.3 Fiftly by the great priviledges this exercise enjoyes For fir st God is greatly delighted in it Pro. 15.8 and therefore one of his titles is that he is a God that heareth praier Psal. 65.1 and heares with great attention his eares are open Psal. 34.15 and will not despise praier for the infirmities of his servants Psal. 102.17 nor reproach them Iam. 1.5 Secondly any man of any condition that hath an honest heart may bee regarded with God in prayer Mar. 7.7 Luk. 11.10 Thirdly whatsoever is asked is obtained which is an unspeakeable benefit Mark 11.24 Psal. 85.5 Lastly God hath promised salvation to all them that call upon his name Ioel 2. ult And this point should be a great encouragement to all true Christians to bee much in prayer and to resist all dulnesse in themselves or temptations and objections against the exercise of prayer Doct. 3 Prayer is a duety required of private Christians as well as of learned men or Ministers Husbands and wives are supposed to practise this duety of praier Hence it is that where we read of any commandement to pray in Scripture usually it is as large as any of the ten Commandements even such as bindeth all persons to the performance of it which should serve greatly to shew the prophanenesse of most families that have no praier A family without praier and the exercises of religion in it is a very denne of wilde beasts and a cage of impure birds and the wrath of God hangs over those families that have not praier used in them as these places shew Psal. 79.6 Zeph. 3.1 2. Dan. 9.13 Ezech. 22.30 Doct. 4. Yea in that he takes for granted that christian husbands and wives did pray onely admonisheth that they looke to it that their prayer bee not interrupted it shewes That every godly Christian can pray doth make conscience of it to doe it Psal. 32.6 for every Christian that is a true Christian hath the spirit of Adoption by which hee cryes Abba Father Rom. 8.16 And it is made a signe of a wicked man not to call upon the name of the Lord Psal. 14.4 Doct. 5 In that prayer may not be interrupted or hindred it shewes plainely That this is an exercise for every day constantly while we live in this world which these places confirme 1. Thes. 5.17 Col. 4.2 Rom. 12.12 Psal. 105.4 praying by fits will not serve turne Doct. 6. Wives and husbands though they had never so many praises otherwaies or for their carriage one towards another yet if they bee not religious persons and in particular such as serve God by daily and devoute prayer they are not true Christians nor accepted of God The Apostle takes it for granted that all christian men and women doe make conscience of daily prayer
of this trusting in God Helpes to attaine this grace of trusting in God Rules to be observed in our right trusting in God Vid. 1. Tim. 5.5 Ier. 49.11 Note Doct. Godly women daughters of Sarah three waies What things marre a good action How we are said to do well Reasons why we ought alwayes to be doing well Causes of amazement in wives Why Husbands duties are noted in the last place Motives to perswade Husbands to be carefull of their duties What things cohabitation doth import Reasons why husbands ought thus to dwell with their wives In what cases it is lawfull for the husband to be absent Whether separation from bed and boord be lawfull Cases of Nullitie Concerning Divorce what rule is to be observed Excellency of divine knowledge in many respects Meanes to give power to our knowledge What this dwelling with knowledge imports How many waies husbands honour their wives In what things women are more frayle than men How godly men come to be heires Wherein the greatnesse and glory of our Adoption appeareth What kinde of persons we must be to attaine this Adoption Marks of Gods heyres and adopted children How Gods heirs must carry themselâ—es Naturall life but a meane thing in divers respects Degrees of spirituall life The originall of this life It hath its originall from God three waies The nature of it consists in a saving knowledge or celestiall light Which knowledge must haue these properties and effects in it Divers things nourish this life This life differs from eternall life many waies 1 In respect of place 2 In respect of the meanes that preserve this life 3 In respect of the company 4 In respect of the quality of the life it selfe 5. In respect of the effects of life in each degree as to instance 1. For righteousnesse 2. for peace 3. for joy What men must doe to attaine this life A Christian hath many helpes to attain it Signes of this life are six Properties of this life are five What duties this doctrine should compell godly men to practise Grace manifold What is meant here by grace Two wayes considered What is excludes What it includes What priviledges follow on such as enjoy Gods grace Men transgresse against the grace of God many waies Godly men and women are heyres together many waies The excellency of prayer appeares in many respects From whence the sorts and difference of Prayer doth arise Prayer may be hindred seven waies in the bearing of it How it is interrupted in the making of it Five things of singular use to keepe us quiet in trouble Note For what reason we ought to be all of one minde Helpes unto unity of minde 2 Pet. 1. ult Aggravations against discord in opinion Many are the ill causes of dissenting In what things we may not be of one minde with the Church of Rome Wherein we expresse our compassion The motives or reasons to perswade us to it Who are brethren Reasons to perswade us to love as brethren With what kind of love we are to love the brethren Rules to be observed that brotherly love may continue Either such things we are to avoid Or such things wee are to praâ—lise How to order ourselves towards our brethren in case of sinne against God or trespasse against us Three caveats to be looked unto in our loving of them What things bowells of compassion or mercy import When our bowels of mercy are right Motives to bee pittifull What things are comprehended under courtesie Divers kindes of blessing When wee blesse in deed Wherein particularly For what reasons a Christian should bee much affected with the consideration of his calling Reasons proâ—ng the necessity of knowing our calling and assurance By what means a christian comes to know his calling Divert sorts of Christians Carnall Christians know not their calling and why Causes why many weake Christians know not their calling Note Godly men doe inherit blessings many waies 1. From men 2. From their owne consciences 3. From God and that divers waies In this life godly men have Gods blessing three waies What we must doe to get Gods blessing How godly men may grow in the comforts of Gods blessing Note Note For what reasons men ought to take off their affections from the love of this life In what respects the vanity of earthly things appeare Men have no reason to bee in love with earthly commodities and that for divers causes In what cases it may be lawfull for some persons to be in love with this life What such must doe to prolong their life What daies are evill in respect of wicked men Wherein godly mens daies are evill Great difference betweene the evill daies of wicked and godly men Evill daies common to wicked and godly men What are good daies in generall In particular there are divers sorts of good daies to the godly Mans life is short In what respect it is short Causes why most mens lives are so short Vses
the world and had the honour to be ordayned in the blessedest place in this visible world even Paradise and was made betweene two persons that were like God himselfe and therefore God doth expect that men and women should walke very carefully in this estate Genes 2. 2 Because man and wife had so neer an originall and dependance one upon another The woman was made of the ribbe of man which Adam perceiving by a spirit of prophecy said she was bone of his bone and flesh of his flesh that is another selfe or himselfe in another shape or sexe and therefore whosoever disagreed they should agree it being most unnaturall for a man to hate or disagree with himselfe Gen. 2. Ephes. 5. and ever the more miraculous the forming of the woman was the more extraordinary should the affection betweene man and wife be 3 Because they are but two of them they would hardly please many that cannot please one 4 Because they are appointed necessarily to be companions in life without parting or dissolution and therefore since they live alwaies together they should resolve to dispose of themselves so as their lives might be comfortable 5 Because from man and wife is the originall of all mankind of Church and Common-wealth and all other societies now those Husbands and Wives that live disorderly dishonor the whole kind What would they have the streames to be when the fountaines are so troubled and impure 6 Because marriage is honourable in Gods account and ought to be so amongst men therefore it being a great dignity to which they are called it is as shamefull a fault to live disorderly in that estate as in the estate of a Magistrate or Minister or the like Heb. 13. 7 Note that the fift Commandement that concernes family-duties and the order should bee in our dwellings stands between the Commandements of the first Table and the rest of the Commandements of the second Table to signifie that from the carefull performance of domesticall duties men are fitter to serve God in the first Table or converse with men in the world in the second Table yea all we get from God in the first Table or from men in the second wee bring it home to our houses or to the place of well imploying it Note the last words of vers 7. of this chapter 8 Because man and wife resemble Christ and the Church by way of type or image and will men or women dare say that Christ and the Church carry themselves so unlovingly or disorderly one to another as they doe one to another Doe you not thinke it had been a hatefull thing for any man that was to be a type of Christ to have exprest the type by false or wicked waies Even so is it for man and wife to carry themselves one to another so as Christ and the Church doe not one to another Ephes. 5. 9 The end of marriage is Gods glory now if God may not have glory by the loving and orderly carriage of man and wife one to another he will winne himselfe glory to his Iustice in revenging the quarrell of the Covenant which they have broken 10 Because usually the carriage of man and wife is the originall cause of good or evill order in the family partly because thereby they are the more inabled or disabled for their carriage towards others in the family and besides their courses are exemplary and withall they thereby lay the ground of their owne honour or dishonour in the hearts of children and servants 11 Because Gods commandement injoyning them their duties one to another bindes the conscience as hard as any of the other Commandements so as God is aswell provoked by these disorders betweene man and wife as by swearing or cursing or Idolatry or murther or whoredome or drunkennesse or the like yea they that live in the customary breach of these duties are unjust and dishonest aswell as if they broke any other Commandements 12 The Apostles were the more earnest in pressing husbands and wives to a loving and orderly behaviour one towards another because of the scandall or honour came to Religion by it It did greatly adorne and become the Gospel if they lived amiably together it made men like of their Religion the better and contrariwise it was a foule scandall and caused the Religion to be lesse esteemed or else hated when they lived so ungodly and unquietly together 13 Because if they live lovingly together they are like to have a quiet conscience and a cleane heart whereas if they jangle and live in discontentment it is a thousand to one the conscience will be very froward and their hearts filled with foule lusts after others Pro. 5. And that the conscience should be froward how can it be otherwise when they live in the direct breach of Gods commandement which as was shewed before bindes as strongly in this as in another dutie 14 Because this commandement is the first commandement with promise To the faithfull discharge of these domesticall duties is promised a long and happie life in the land God hath planted men in 15 Because men and women may greatly further their salvation by living according to Gods will in this estate as is intimated 1. Tim. 2.15 16 Lastly let husbands and wives remember their accounts at the last day Will it not be a wofull miserie for a rebellious and froward wife to be throwne to hell and see her quiet and religious husband goe to heaven and so on the other side The use may be for complaint of the generall and grievous neglect of these things in the most men and women Where may a man observe in any family almost that amiable carriage betweene man and wife that ought to be Quest. What are the causes of this generall disorder and unquietnesse betweene men and their wives Answ. 1. It may be God revengeth some sinne in the manner of the marriage or going about it of which the parties have not soundly repented as precontracts or marriage for carnall ends without respect of Religion or Gods glorie as for wealth or the like or some secret wickednesse betweene the parties before marriage 2 In the most it is the want of the true feare of God they are carnall and so their Natures being not regenerate are full of all evill fruits Two carnall persons can no more agree together than two wilde beasts and what will not men and women allow themselves in when they doe not from their hearts feare Gods displeasure 3 In many it is ignorance of their mutuall duties men and women doe not studie with care and conscience the particular duties which in this estate God requires of them 4 In such as know their duties it is eyther unskilfulnesse to beare with infirmities or neglect of daily prayer to God to fashion their hearts to obey his will in those things as well as in other points of his service and worship 5 In some it is strange and strong
lusts and inordinate desires which being not resisted and subdued the inward cause of all that absurd and perverse carriage shewes it selfe openly Quest. 2. But what should men and women doe that they might attaine to this orderly and amiable conversation Answ. 1. They should heartily in secret bewaile their former disorders and seeke pardon of God and then reconcile themselves one to another by confessing their faults follies These things will never be mended till they be repented of 2 They should seriously attend to the doctrine of their duties and hear it with all conscience and desire to obey take notice of Gods preceptorie commandement in requiring these things and by all meanes take heed of prejudice in hearing but make conscience to heare this part of the word of God as the word of God as well as any other Thinke not this doctrine too base or meane to be heard or studied nor imagine that it is but the severitie of the Teacher to tell of so manie things to be done by men and women especially take heede of that profane jesting to put off the sound practice of this doctrine with jesting one at another Remember one thing by the way that it is a great testimonie of true uprightnesse of heart when men and women make conscience of it to be good at home as well as abroad Thus of the first generall doctrine Doct. 2. Secondly we may hence in generall note That the word of God and the instructions of the ministery of the word belong to women as well as men and therefore the Apostles call to the women to heare the word of the Lord. This point is to be noted the rather because many give out that the knowledge of religion and hearing of Sermons and studying the Scriptures is not fit for women God doth not require it of them Now that this dotage may be the more evidently consuted consider that which is here intimated There are a multitude of arguments may be brought as First the image of God by creation was stamped upon the female as well as the male Gen. 1.27 2 The profession of godlinesse good workes faith charitie and holinesse is required of women aswell as men 1. Tim. 2.10.15 and therfore all meanes of grace is necessary for them aswell as men 3 It is required of them to be teachers of good things though they are not allowed to teach publickly 1. Cor. 14. yet they must teach their children and the elder women must teach the yonger women Tit. 2.3 4 They are commanded expresly to learne the doctrine is publickly taught 1. Tim. 2.11 5 The Scripture is full of instances Of the good woman in the Proverbes it is said that shee was not only a good house-wife but the law of grace was in her lips Pro. 31.26 King Lemuel was taught prophecies by his mother Pro. 31.1 and women followed our Saviour to heare his Sermons some followed him I say from place to place Luke 8.3 and Mary was commended by our Saviour for choosing the best part when shee set her heart about religious duties and to sit at the feet of Christ to heare his word Luke 11. Our Saviour instructs a woman of Samaria in the great mysteries of conversion and salvation Iohn 4. At Philippi Pauls hearers at the first were only women Acts 16.13 and honourable narration is made of many christian women converted Act. 17.4.12 ult and we reade of Priscilla that shee was a meanes to instruct Apollos an eloquent and learned man and to make him more perfectly to understand the way of God Acts 18.26 and so wee reade of women that laboured with Paul in the Gospel Philip 4.3 6 If women must suffer for their Religion it is reason they have all the knowledge and helpes in Religion but women are in danger to suffer for Religion aswell as men Acts 8.3 9.2 22.4 7 Finally the way to be saved is the same for women aswell as men and therefore all meanes of salvation belong to them and are to be used by them aswell as men Which as it may incourage all women that are religious to study the things that belong to the kingdome of God so it should teach them to make conscience of what they heare and learne of the Virgin Mary to lay up the good Word of God in their hearts and keep it and to look to their waies in all things that they may please God for as God is no respecter of persons but loves godlinesse in women aswell as in men so hee doth require sound obedience and reformation and holinesse of life of women aswell as men For with God there is neither Iewe nor Greek bond nor free male nor female but all are one in Christ Iesus Gal. 3.27.28 Thirdly before I yet come to open the particular parts of the text it may be asked why the Apostle is so large in speaking to wives as spending so many verses upon them I answer it is not simply because wives are more faulty than husbands though many times it proues to bee so in many wives but 1 Because it is more against nature to obey than to rule 2 Because women have many hinderances or letts both in receiving the doctrine and in practising it sometimes they rest in the generall That they must obey and so never study particulars and therefore had neede to have it beaten out in particulars for them Besides they are in danger to be infected with temptations evill counsell evill example c. 3 Because the inferiour must mend first and therfore the Apostle begins with the wives and would faine have them in order before they require respect from their husbands 4 Because if the women be gained to religion they may be great meanes to worke good upon their husbands for as they are pernitious instruments of the divell to doe their husbands hurt if they bee wickedly bent so may they bee great meanes to doe them good if they be soundly reformed themselves as the Apostle imports in the first verse of this chapter Besides if the mother be godly and carefull though the father should not be so yet the children may bee by her instructed and well brought up and the advantage from her for the childrens good is the greater because shee is most with the children and usually they more affect her than the father 5 Because many times their provocations from absurd husbands are so great as if God did not speake very much to them they could never indure it with subiection To conclude when things are much urged or repeated in Scripture usually thereby three things are imported about the matter so urged the one is difficulty the other necessity and the third excellency all three may bee well thought on here The Lord is very long in giving the charge to wives and it is both because it is a very hard taske to learne to be a good wife and because it is a thing wonderfull necessary
it is required of the husband also and the like may bee said of other things But subiection is a thing God so stands upon as if they had other praises as that they were wise provident chaste rich faire yea religious yet if he may not prevaile with them in this point he is not pleased with the rest Secondly because this duty soundly performed doth imply the rest and in the practice of it causeth the practice of other dueties Thirdly in that the Apostle doth reduce all their dueties into one word he doth it thereby to cut off all excuse for if they cannot remember one word they can remember nothing and if they will not obey in one commandement it shewes that they are governed by a very spirit of prophannesse as being persons that resolve to live as they list Fourthly it would bee considered in what things they must be subiect and so wives must bee subiect to the husbands commandements to doe in all things what he appoints or desires to be done They must shew a minde desirous to please their husbands in obeying the directions hee gives in matters of the family or any other things may concerne his profit or contentment As the Church is ruled by the word of Christ so must the wife bee ruled by the word of her husband His will must be her law to live by so likewise she must be subiect to his reproofes to amend what he dislikes and to avoyde what is displeasing to him so likewise she must be subiect to his restraints and to the order he gives about her labour dyet apparell companie or the like striving in all things to please her husband 1. Cor. 7.34 Eph. 5.23 and this subiection extends also to that due benevolence the Apostle requires 1. Cor. 7.3.4.5 Fifthly we must consider in what manner wives must be subiect and so divers things are required of them for their subiection must have in it care honor and sincerity First they must be subiect with care and study to doe and dispose of all things so as the husband may not be displeased or disquieted A wise woman is said to build her house Prov. 14.2 which notes that she studies in every business how to set every thing in order as the Carpenter doth study how to set every part of the frame in jointe Oh that this word Studie could bee carved upon the hearts of women that they might never forget it what a world of unquietnesse and inconveniences might bee prevented if care and study did enter into their hearts Secondly they must be subiect with honor to their husbands now wives honor their husbands and shew it divers waies as by giving them reverent titles as Sarah called her husband Lord and by modest and shamefast behaviour in her husbands presence her husband should bee the covering of her eyes and by striving to imitate what is excellent in her husband so shee should bee his image and his glory as man is the image and glory of Christ and by avoyding all company that is suspected or disliked by the husband and by concealing and hiding his infirmities as much as she can Thirdly the sincerity of her subiection must appeare many wayes as first by being subiect to him not in some things but in all things as the Church is subiect to Christ. Secondly by being subiect at all times and in all places at home aswell as abroade and alwayes aswell as for the first quarter of the yeare Thirdly by practising this subiection not in outward shew only but in her very spirit Mal. 2.15 and that not for feare or shame but for conscience sake and willingly out of the love and honor she beares to her husband performing this subiection to her husband as it were to the Lord himselfe Eph. 5.12 Finally shee must make conscience to obey and be subiect though the husband did not finde fault or much require it even because God doth require it Sixthly it would be considered negatively in what cases or respects the wife is not subiect to the will of the husband and so her subiection is qualified and lymited or lightned divers wayes First in the quality of her subiection shee is not to be subiect with a servile subiection as a servant or vassall is subiect to his Lord but in a sweete and familiar kinde of subiection as the body is subiect to the head and as one that is partner with him in many priviledges both temporall and eternall they remaine still companions and yoake-fellowes Secondly in the matter of subiection shee is not subiect to his will in matters of her soule and religion when his will is contrary to Gods will Wives must bee subiect but it must bee in the Lord Colos. 3.15 The unbeleeving husband must not compell the beleeving wife to change her religion or to neglect the meanes of her salvation and againe she is not so subiect but shee may admonish or advise her husband with certaine cautions as if she bee sure the thing she speakes against bee sinfull and hurtfull and withall that shee speake without passion or contempt with reverence and without frowardnesse or imperiousnesse Thus Abraham is bidden to heare his wife Gen. 21.12 Againe her subiection doth not binde her to consent to or conceale his whoredomes wherein he breakes the Covenant betwixt them and defiles the marriage bedde nor is shee bound to obey him in any thing she knowes to bee a sinne nor am I of their minde that think she is subiect to her husbands blowes and stripes for that doth import a servile subiection and not a free subiection I meane that I doe not thinke it any part of the husbands power over his wife to correct her by blowes her vices that cannot be corrected by wordes must be committed either to the Magistrate or to the Church censures to reform Likewise I conceive that she is not bound to deliver her body to her husband when she is apart for her disease Lev. 18.19 Ezech. 18.6 Seventhly the sinnes by which wives transgresse against this subiection to their husbands be many viz. Vsurping authority over the man by teaching him in matters of religion 1. Tim. 2.12 or by busying her selfe in directing or finding fault with him in matters belong to his calling and are out of her reach Impatience and frowardnesse passion brawling chiding crying c. Idlenesse and slothfulnesse especially when they disappoint usually the trust or desires of the husbands in things wherein they might and ought to bee helpefull in their labours or in the oversight of the workes of their servants Vile estimation of their husbands though but in the heart but much more when it is shewed by unreverent tearmes or nicknames or words of reproach or by complaining of the infirmities of their husbands and finding fault with them before others Suspitious and base interpretations of the actions of their husbands as when Michol so censured David for his dancing before the Arke
that alleadged that place out of the Prophet to condemne buying and selling in the Temple yet did spend his greatest paines in preaching in the Temple and out of it thereby shewing the prime ordinance of God for the conversion of the soules of men was the preaching of the Gospel to them By the conversation of the Wives Great heed ought to be taken by such as professe Religion in looking carefully to their conversation especially towards such as are without Col. 4.5 Ephes. 5.15 1. Pet. 2.12 It is not enough to doe good dueties but we must doe them as becommeth godlines Tit. 2. and so as may allure and winne the verie ungodly and therefore it is required that our workes should shine Matth. 5.16 for by our practise wee resemble God himselfe and by our workes professe to shew not onely what Gods Word is but what Gods Nature is Our life must have the image of God printed upon it and therefore they doe fearefully that professe Religion amongst wicked men and by their workes order themselves so foolishly deceitfully conceitedly wickedly that they cause the name of God to be blasphemed Quest. But what should wee doe to our practise that by our conversation wee might allure and winne wicked men to a love of the truth Answ. 1. First we must avoide such things in our conversation as may irritate them as scandalous behaviour in anie particular offence as deceit lying filthinesse drunkennesse pride covetousnesse passion or the like and withall take heed of mis-spending our zeale about such things whereof demonstration cannot be made to the conscience And besides in the good things we doe we must take heed of conceitednesse and ostentation but in meekenesse of wisedome have our conversations amongst men Iam. 3.13 and further wee must take heed of judging and censuring of others even of those that be without Iam. 3.17 2 Mortification doth shine effectually into the consciences of wicked men it doth move them much if they see we be such as doe heartily judge our selves for the faults that hang upon us and doe not allow our selves in any sinne Isa. 61.3 3 A sound contempt of this world and the things thereof doth much affect the verie natural consciences of men if they see that not in words but in deed the love of this world and the glorie thereof be not in us and contrariwise it much vexeth them that we should professe the hope of heaven and contempt of the world and yet be as full of cares feares covetousnesse and such like ill affections as the very men of the world 4 Meekenesse and softnesse of nature exprest in our behaviour is verie amiable as the coherence in this Text shewes and Tit. 3.1.2 5 Mercie to the poore especially if we doe abound in it and be ready and cheerefull to it doth justifie us much before men Iam. 1.26 Doct. 2. A good example even in inferiours may win men to Religion True Religion expressed in practise is amiable in all sorts of Christians women aswell as men inferiours as well as superiours servants aswell as Masters children aswell as parents Tit. 2.3.9.10 Luke 1. and the reason is because the true grace that is expressed by any Christian hath the likenesse of God printed upon it and so is amiable for his sake whom they by their workes resemble And this may be a great encouragement to inferiours and should breede in them a great care of well-doing But the maine thing intended in this Text is That religious wives ought to strive to winne their husbands if they have such as are not religious or not in such soundnesse as they ought Quest. But what should a wife doe to winne her husband Answ. Shee must in generall resolve to doe it not by her words but by her conversation as this Text shewes It is not her talking to her husband will doe it no not her talking of religion to him that in it selfe is like to prevaile It concernes women very much to remember this point of the Apostle to seek the reformation of their husbands by their conversation not by their words Object But Abraham was willed to heare his wife Gen. 16. Sol. What then hath every wife such an husband as will heare her as Abraham did his wife Besides the question is not what husbands should doe but what the wives should doe when the husbands are not such as they should be Ob. But how shall a woman know when to speake to her husband and when not Sol. She must not speake to him no not of religion 1. when in the matter she would speak of she is not furnished to speak as becomes the oracles of God 2. when by experience shee hath found that her husband is irritated and provoked by â—her words 3 when shee is not her selfe free from some faâ—lt as apparent in other things as that is shee mislikes in her husband Quest. But what things must shee looke to in her conversation that she may by her workes winne her husband Answ. The first thing is that she be in all sound subjection obedient to her husband in all thingâ— or else God may win him but she must have no part of the praise of it And this is strongly imported in the very scope of this place In generall she must strive to bee to him even for conscience sake that he may see it comes from the force of religion in her a good wife discreet provident carefull to please meeke such a one as his heart may trust in her and delight in her Wives that be foolish wastfull idle froward or busie-bodies if they had never so much shew of religion yet they are not fit for this worke to winne any body much lesse their husbands Secondly she must look to her conversation in things of her religion that therin she behaveth her self as becommeth religion Tit. 2.3 and so she must take heede of conceitednesse and contempt of others or neglect of her calling upon pretence of dueties of her religion and looke to it that shee bee not her selfe guilty of any knowen fault unreformed and withall must strive to shew the power of her godliness in good fruits labouring to abound in good workes 1. Tim. 2.10 both at home and abroad being pittifull mercifull ready to helpe them that are in misery according to her power and in the things she hath liberty to dispose of Other things follow in the three next verses Verse 2. While they behold your chaste conversation coupled with feare IN these words is contained the second thing the Apostle chargeth upon them wives in his exposition viz A chast conversation with feare so ordered as their husbands may daily behold it and observe it in them Where the Apostle implies what the husbands will doe viz. they will observe the conversation of the wives and expresseth what the wives ought to doe viz. in conversation to shew chastitie coupled with fear First then we are to consider of that which
but the worse therefore the old man must be mortified and all old things must be put away 2. Cor. 5.17 As an old Leprosie is worse than a new Levit. 13.11 so their hatred was the worse because it was old Ezech. 25.15 And the godly pray Remember not against us our old iniquities Psal. 79.8 and the wicked are condemned for not purging out their old sinnes 2. Pet. 1.9 and all men should purge out the old leaven 1. Cor. 5. And as in the sinnes of life betweene man and man so about Gods service old courses are hatefull if they be Idolatrous superstitious and therefore they were condemned for doing after the old manner 2. Reg. 17.34 and they are reproved by the Prophet Ieremy that so commended the old times of Idolatry Ierem. 44. 4 When God abolisheth the old things and brings in new and so the old Covenant is not better than the new nor the old Testament better than the new Heb. 8.6 7 13. 2. Cor. 5.17 5 In the case of the discoverie of such mysteries as for the time of revealing them depend upon the good pleasure of God only so things hidden for ages and generations are revealed in the Gospell and yet must not be rejected Col. 1.16 6 When old times are pleaded of purpose to lessen the glorie or profit of the present workes of Gods power and mercy Esa. 43.18 And this way the Pharisees offended that to avoid subjection to Christ and his doctrine would magnifie Moses and the Prophets of old time And so doe those people offend that commend the old Teachers more that are dead or absent and will not profit by those they have Mat. 23. 7 When it is used in defence of publick disorders and offences and grievances in Church or Common-wealth The pretence of Innovation must not hinder the reformation of knowne diseases in publick States Such things as have beene wasts of old must be built though it were not done of long time They shall build the old wasts saith the Prophet Isa. 61.4 8 When particular Christians do misapply it to confirme them in their unbeleefe or doubting as if God did not regard or accept as in former times whereas if we serve him in uprightnesse of heart he will accept our offerings as in the dayes of old Mal. 3.4 And if we get Davids affections to God and goodnesse and will attend upon Gods mercie in the meanes we shall have the sure mercies of David Isa. 55.1 4. Thus of the wayes how old things the pleading of them may be misapplyed and done in our owne wrong Now followes to shew in what cases respect must be had to Antiquitie and old times And so Antiquity commends 1 The workes of Gods power and mercie Deuter. 32.7 2. Kings 19.25 Psal. 44.2 and God is well pleased to be urged with arguments taken from his old dealing with his people Arise as in the dayes of old Isa. 51.9 so in Mich. 7.14 20. and hath left the memorie of them upon record that wee might thence confirme our weake faith 2 The particular experiences we have had of Gods goodnesse towards us Thus David remembers dayes of old Psal. 77.6 143.5 3 The profitable determinations of right in judiciall things betweene man and man and so the old bounds are to be greatly respected Pro. 22.28 4 The publick orders of the Churches about the circumstances of Gods worship as the orders of the Iewes to have the preaching of Moses in every Citie on the Sabbath day Acts 15.21 This order is the more observeable as for other reasons so because it was so in old times 5 Gods commandements It is an argument of weight to perswade to obedience when it can be shewed that that commandement is an old commandement 1. Iohn 2.7 6 In things that are doubtfull or difficult such respect is to be given to Antiquitie as men should not rashly oppose their owne or other mens new conceits so as a due respect be had to equall comparison in the nature of the things questioned Iob 32.6 7 In the examples and patternes of well-doing that have had due conformitie to Gods will revealed in his precepts and so the examples of holy practices in old time should much move the consciences of the godly nowadaies as the Apostle shewes in this verse And thus of the two points in the description Holy women The persons from whom this patterne is taken are holy women where observe 1 That holinesse in the first Table is required of women aswel as men and they are bound to the duties of Gods worship and to be religious women aswell as to the dueties of the second Table to be chaste mercifull faithfull diligent in the affaires of the family or obedient to their husbands Which serves to confute those men that say women need not be studious in matters of Religion it is enough for them to be good house-wives and obey their husbands And withall it may comfort women in the practise of the dueties of Religion for by the commendation given of holy women in this Text it appeares that God accepts holinesse in them aswell as in men 2 That all holy women did make conscience of subjection to their husbands and therefore the Apostle speakes indefinitely of all holy women And this is the more evident because amongst all the infirmities noted in any godly woman in the Scriptures yet there is no example of a godly woman that did customarily live in the sinne of frowardnesse or rebellion against her husband the instance of Zipporah is but of one onely fact and the errour seemes to be as much in her judgement as in her affections And this doctrine should light verie heavie upon manie wives that professe Religion in these times and compell them to reforme their hearts and behaviours in their carriage towards their husbands for this Text doth import that they want holinesse that are not subject to their husbands and live in customarie frowardnesse and unquietnesse 3 That christian women ought to studie the example of holy women in old times and therefore they should do well to get a catalogue of the praises of godly women in Scripture to lay before them for their imitation and so they should learne of Sarah reverence to their husbands and of Rahab and the Midwives of Egypt to shew mercie to Gods servants in distresse and of Ruth obedience to their parents and constant love to religion and of the Shunamitish woman 2. Reg. 4.8 c. and of Lidia Acts 16.14 and of Phebe Rom. 16. 2. to be entertainers of Gods servants to succour them and of Hanna to be humble and patient and devout in praier and of the good woman in the Proverbes chap. 31. and of Priscilla and Salomons mother Pro. 30.1 2. and Timothies mother and grand-mother 2. Tim. 14 to get the law of grace into their lipps to instruct others and of that woman in the Proverbs to be painfull in labour and to be wise in
withall It is a light to lighten our paths Our knowledge should bee after godlinesse Tit. 1.1 It should someway helpe forwards the worke of godlinesse that we get by hearing should be shewed by practise Iames 1.22 23 24. They that have knowledge and will not use it shall have that knowledge taken from them Matth. 13.11 Nor is the use of knowledge onely for discourse but for conversation The words of knowledge or utterance is given to some Christistians onely 1. Cor. 12.8 And such as cannot talke much may yet have comfort if they have knowledge to stay their hearts in faith and that they can shew their knowledge by a good conversation Doct. 4. The knowledge seated in our mindes should have a commanding power of our actions all should bee according as a mans knowledge saith Those parcels of Divine truth put into our mindes should rule us and dispose of us and make us ordered according to them Those lawes in our mindes should make us master all that rebels against them and make the members be subject to them to obey them Our knowledge should bee lively and indued with Soveraigne power This is the honour wee should give to the light that is in our mindes to let it rule us in all things And this point may much humble all sorts of Christians for want of stirring up their knowledge or for want of obeying it Most Christians have their knowledge so feeble that the divell or the world may lead them aside to all sorts of temptations and yet their knowledge makes not opposition and doth not take armes to subdue what exalts it selfe against the light of it as it should doe 1. Cor. 10.4 Now if men would hearten and give life and power to those notions of knowledge are in their mindes and would have their knowledge to have full power they must observe these rules 1 They must daily wound and mortifie and resist the law of the members that is such humours in them as are wont to be incorrigible Most persons have some faults in their natures that they are guiltie of with a kinde of wilfulnesse such faults as must be allowed such as if they be crossed in there will be no peace but open rebellion such faults as stick so fast to them as if God and man must let them alone in them these members must obey them as a law Now these men must finde out and be sure they resist them or else the lawes of the minde will be but feeble and sacred notions infused will starve and wither and never appeare in their life and power 2 Men must be sure they study profitable things and avoide such knowledges as are fruitlesse as belong not to them 1. Tim. 6.20 2. Tim. 2.23 Tit. 3.9 There is knowledge that will puffe up 1. Cor. 8.1 But men must bee wise for themselves and strive to understand their owne way Prov. 9.12 3 They must pray God to put a spirit and life into their knowledge and give them grace to shew all good conscience in their obedience and withall they must pray hard for their Teachers that their word may be a word of power to give fire to the sparkles of light are already in their mindes Finally let all men that professe the knowledge of Gods word remember that their knowledge should make them differ from all other men Their lives should excell others according to the knowledge in which they differ from them A man must hold forth the life and light of the knowledge hee hath Phil. 2.15 They have a great taske to doe that have received much knowledge much is required of them If they doe ill their example may doe much mischiefe 1. Cor. 8.10.11 Doct. 5. True knowledge makes an impression upon every part of a mans life it makes him better in all his wayes both towards God and man as here true knowledge makes a man a better husband Hee must carrie himselfe as a husband according to his knowledge he hath of Gods word True knowledge enricheth a man in everie thing 1. Cor. 1.5 The favour of our knowledge should be manifest in everie place 2. Cor. 2.14 The knowledge that will not doe thus is falsely so called 1. Tim. 6.20 There is use of knowledge in the most ordinarie things of the life of man as meates marriage and the things of our calling 1. Tim. 4.3 and therefore this should stir up all godly Christians to shew this proofe of their knowledge and to pray that they may abound in knowledge and all judgement Phil. 1.9 Col. 1.9 and gives cause to Christians of ill behaviour in their callings or private carriage to mistrust that their knowledge is not right and in particular wives should pray God to give their husbands knowledge of his Word and to blesse all meanes to that end for that will make them the better husbands Doct. 6. It is an ill thing for men to transgresse against their knowledges when they doe things that are not according to their knowledge or leave undone things they know they should doe The servant that knowes his Masters will and doth it not shall be beaten with many stripes See Rom. 1. ult Heb. 10.26 2. Pet. 2.21 Husbands and wives should in a speciall maner remember this for there is a great deale of need that they should take notice of this point Oh it is a grievous thing for a Christian to be wilfully corrupt to doe or leave undone things against his knowledge Doct. 7. One thing here is comfortable that God requires no more of his servants but to doe according to the knowledge they have Ignorances by the benefite of the new Covenant in Christ he will passe by so as they be carefull to get knowledge according to the meanes they have of knowledge This is a great comfort Doct. 8. In knowledge men should excell women therefore is knowledge here specially mentioned in giving the charge to men They are the heads of their wives and therefore in them should be the especiall seate of spirituall senses and understanding and their wives are charged if they doubt of any thing to aske their husbands at home It is a great dishonour to many men in this age in many places that women excell them in knowledge both for the measure of it and power of it and care to use the meanes to get it Thus of the generall Doctrines These words as they in particular order the duties of Husbands shew diverse things they are to looke to in their carriage in dwelling with their Wives To dwell with them according to knowledge imports 1 Matter of edification and so three wayes for first they must set up Religion and the worship of God in their dwellings Iosh. 24.15 They must keepe off the curse of God from them and their wives and children by daily praying to God Ier. 10. ult They must diligently in their kinde instruct the family in the plaine things of Gods Law talking and discoursing of the