God and reproach their Lord and Saviour and without Repentance he will condemn them too Psal 50.17 These things bast thou done and I kept silence thou thoughtest I was altogether such a one as thy self but I will reprove thee and set thy Sins in order before thee I will reject your Sacrifices I will spread the Dung of your solemn Services before your Face Your very Prayers shall witness against you A Caution yet is needful here To take heed of bearing false Witness or easily believing one against our Neighbour Do not hastily credit every Story you are told against such as profess Religion For the Devil imploys a great many to do his Work by defaming and discrediting such Every lesser Fall of such a one shall be blazoned Though it were but a single Fault committed but once and soon and heartily repented of and seldom or never relapsed into it shall yet be longer talk'd of and more aggravated than the customary continued foul Miscarriages of others This is seen daily among such whose Hearts are filled with Enmity against real Holiness Granting therefore what is too notorious to be denied that some Few who pray to God every Day do yet live as if they believed there were none yet compare the Families of such as daily worship God together with the Families of others that neglect God and Religion and it is not ordinarily true that the former are no better than the latter The Families of such are commonly the Nurseries of Religion Was not Noah's Family better than the drowned World though there were one Cham in it as there was one Judas in the Family of Christ Himself What would you think of a Man says Mr. Baxter who looking over his Neighbour's Garden when his own is all over-run with Weeds and wholly neglected should see in his Neighbour's Ground here and there a Weed mixt with much better Stuff and thereupon should say These Men that bestow so much Pains about their Gardens in dunging and weeding c. yet they have Weeds in their Garden as well as those that do nothing therefore who would be at so much pains Thus foolishly do People talk of those that pray and read and instruct their Families and hear Sermons c. they have their Faults as well as others wicked Persons amongst them as well as others their Children and Servants are bad as well as ours But they consider not that it is not the whole Garden that is over-run with Weeds as yours is it is but here and there a Weed and as soon as they spy any they pluck them up and do what they can to prevent their growth and spreading There is some Difficulty indeed as to those whose Lot is cast into prayerless Families who would be glad with all their Hearts to have the Worship of God kept up but have either no power or prevalency to bring it about My Lot is cast into such an ignorant worldly prophane Family says a religious Servant where they call not upon the Name of God from Week to Week or at most never more than once a Week If this be the Case of an Apprentice and bound by his Parents who should have chosen better for him he may bear it the better as hoping God will not charge it as his Fault But if you rashly ingaged your selves into such a Family because it was a place of more Ease or more Profit you ought to repent and beg of God forgiveness and be afraid lest some spiritual Judgment and it may be temporal too should follow you You ought to remove into a better Air as soon as you can conveniently But let me beg you as you tender the Honour of God and the Credit of Religion while you stay in such a wicked family indeavour with utmost Humility Modesty Seriousness and Circumspection to adorn your Profession to leave a Conviction in the Conscience of those with whom you dwell that serious Godliness doth make the best Servants How sad is it if by you who profess Religion your ungodly Masters or Fellow-Servants should be hardened and stumbled and prejudiced against the holy Ways of God! It may fall out that if you carry it so as to win the Love of all you shall have an Opportunity offered humbly to suggest and urge something to promote Family-Prayer and Worship and possibly obtain to have it begun Be sure however that you be more diligent and constant in secret Prayer The less help you have in the Family the more should you redeem to be alone with God But Servants who value the Welfare of their Souls and their Improvement in Grace should take heed what Families they chuse to dwell in Do not out of choice place your selves in a House where God doth not dwell to which the Curse of God according to his Word is threatened You know he dwells in the House of Prayer His own House is such and ours should be so too and he inhabits the Praises of his People My case is yet worse may some object I am Son to a prayerless Father and I cannot leave the House Or I am Wife to a Husband that minds not God or his own Soul much less mine or any in the Family The like Advice as was given before to religious Servants is fit to be taken here viz. to spend the more time in secret Prayer and Closet Devotion and to pray the more earnestly and fervently for such a Relation who is the Head of a Family and yet neglects the Duty of his place The holy fervent Prayer of a believing Child or Wife may help to save an unbelieving Parent or Husband It may obtain Grace from God to turn his Heart In the next Sickness or under the next worldly Cross or Disappointment or Family-strait and Affliction you may have a Season offer'd with Meekness to suggest this and other Duties and who can tell the Success However take heed to adorn your Profession and let such near Relations with whom you are obliged to dwell be convinced by your Christian Carriage of the Amiableness and Excellency of a Holy Life and be made to think and speak well of practical Godliness If the Parent or Husband be either unfit or unwilling to pray in the Family can you not obtain that some other may do it in his room and stead Though it be the proper Work of the Master of the Family yet in many Cases another may be substituted even an holy Servant sometimes with the Master's leave and desire Or in his Sickness or Absence I know not why in divers Cases the Wife who is to share in the Government of the Family may not perform Family-Prayer at least with those of her own Sex and with all the Family if she be a Widow and if she be a Wife why not in the Husband's Absence For if he do not his Duty in this particular what reason is there that she may not be the Mouth of the Family to God in Prayer rather
than it should be omitted These plain things I offer'd and recommended with Seriousness to remove the common Objections Pleas and Excuses for the neglect of Family-Religion and Worship and touching the Duty of the several Relations in Religious Families If any may be hereby confirm'd or convinc'd I know you will rejoyce with me and bless God I am Yours Of Family Religion The THIRD LETTER SIR WIthout farther Preface I continue to make good my Promise by sending you the Remainder of my Papers on this Subject containing some Directions and Counsels relating to Family Religion You who are Heads of Families are in the first place obliged to be very Careful and Circumspect Serious and Exemplary in your Lives you ought to take heed that you give no Example of Vice before Inferiours They will sooner Imitate you in what is Evil than Good Let them have no Incouragement or Countenance given them to Sin by any thing they see you do You will quickly lose all Authority and Power to reprove or suppress their Evils if your own Example countenance them in it It is altogether unlikely that Religion should thrive among Children and Servants where the Parent or Master gives a Pattern of Drunkenness or Lewdness of Injustice Deceit and Fraud or only keeps up the Worship of God to cloak his own Wickedness or serve some secular Design Wo to those Parents and Masters whose Children are Witnesses of their Impiety and like enough to follow them without a wonderful Grace to their eternal Ruine Never Parent had such a wicked Child said a bad Eather once to a Rebellious Son Yes Sir replied the Impudent Youth My Grandfather had Some have inquired for what reason the Prophet Elisha called for Vengeance on the Children that mocked him and stiled him Bald-pate 2 Kings 2.23 when many of them it is probable hardly understood what they said The Reason assigned is this because the Children learnt that Language from their Parents and God punished the Parents in the Death of the Children and both at once Some of the Heathens have been very wary and cautious not to speak an uncomely word in the presence of their Children Certainly the Head of a Christian Family is obliged to behave himself Wisely in an upright way and to walk within his House with a Perfect Heart Psal 101.2 and in all things to shew himself a Pattern of Good Works Tit. 2.7 A prudent grave chearful sincere Deportment as becometh Saints would recommend Religion and diffuse the savour of it to all about it But if you give them never so good Counsel they will sooner be influenced by a bad Life than by the best of Words All your good Precepts and Counsels will be as Water spilt on the ground if not accompanied by a good Example What you would reprove and amend in their Words or Actions let them be sure to hear nothing of it in your Discourse and see nothing of it in your Practice You must lead them the way in Humility and Charity in the Government of the Tongue Passions Appetite in the Redemption of Time in Prayer and love to the Holy Scriptures and the Ordinances of the Gospel c. How can a drunken or unrighteous Father or Master expect his Children and Servants should be sober and faithful Can you hope to teach them Sobriety and they see you are Intemperate or Meekness when they see you cannot govern your Passions They will sooner learn your Sin than your Trade And is not the Money given with such an Apprentice very ill bestowed One Two Three Hundred Pounds or more to have them taught to serve the Devil and damn their Souls by the Example of a wicked Master But such Masters shall have double Damnation Therefore let your own Example teach all your Relations that Holiness and Unblamableness in Tongue and Life which you desire they should learn and practise But besides your own Example you are obliged by all other ways to indeavour their Spiritual and Eternal Good You are worse than Insidels if you provide not what is Needful and Fit for them as to their Temporal Life much more if you neglect their Souls O look upon them with Pity and Compassion help them as knowing their Ignorance their Temptations and Danger Remember they must shortly die and be saved or perish for ever Use all Advantages you have to do them good Let them not be betrayed to eternal Ruine by your neglect Ministers by publick Preaching cannot do so much to further their Salvation as you and it is very little we can hope to do without your Assistance You can speak sharply enough sometimes of unfaithful Ministers who neglect the Souls of their People but consider not your own Guilt and dreadful Reckoning upon the like Account You expect more Duty sometimes from One Minister than Six can perform while you make no Conscience of neglecting your own Duty in your proper Sphere It will be a dreadful Meeting in the Day of Recompence to have your Children or Servants to accuse their Parents and Masters saying I was so many Years in my Father's House or I lived so long with such a Master who never concerned himself about my Soul I had never been a Servant of Sin and a Firebrand of Hell if he had done his part to prevent it The like will be true of ungodly Husbands and Wives who notwithstanding the Duty and Profession of the dearest Love do little or nothing to save one another from the Wrath to come O cruel Husband O cursed Wife It was long of You that I am now a lost undone Creature You never did any thing to assist my Salvation it was long of You that I came to this Miserable End You neither by Example or Discourse or Prayer or Admonition c. discovered any Care for your own Soul or for mine Yea how many in such Relations do much to hinder and obstruct the Happiness and Salvation of those whom they are most concerned and obliged to help For if the one be ungodly and the other be an awakened serious Christian the Latter shall commonly find the greatest Opposition and Difficulty and Hinderance in Religion from him or her who should have given the greatest Help and Assistance Remember therefore that besides Prayer in your House you have other Indeavours to use for the Salvation of those that live with you You mock God by praying for the conversion of Children and Servants if you do not otherwise indeavour it If you do not indeavour to convince them of their Sin and of their need of Christ and his Grace if you do not recommend him as the best Master and put them in mind of the uncertainty of this Life and of the certain Account they must give to God another day of all their Time and Talents c. And yet this neglect is now so common that they are reckoned Good Parents and Good Masters who will but give their Children and Servants leave to be good and
contrary But the Welfare and the Comfort of religious Families depends not wholly on the Duty of the Heads of it They who are Children or Servants are obliged thankfully to improve the Blessing of Religious Parents and Masters and faithfully to do their Duty in each Relation Without a wonderful Change by the Grace of God you will never be good Parents to your own Children if you live to have any if you are not good in the Relation of Children The same may be said for Servants Nor are they like to be good Husbands or Wives who were not good in their former Relation as Children or Servants Neither are such who are not good in their Family-Relations like to be so in any other Either good Neighbours in a Town or good Members in a Church or Magistrates in the State Absalom a Rebellious Child proved a Traiterous Subject Hophni and Phineas disobedient Children proved scandalous and sacrilegious Priests so in other Instances Let Children honour and obey their Parents in the Lord See that there be inward Reverence Respect and Love Despise not their Persons slight not their Instructions Rebukes or lawful Commands or Government Take heed of speaking contemptuously of either of them He that curseth Father or Mother let him die the Death Levit. 20.9 His Lamp shall be put out in Darkness Prov. 20.20 You should prize their Counsels delight in their Presence rejoyce in their Company sympathize with them in their Sorrows or Joys and readily deny your selves for their Sakes The Expressions of outward Honour from Children to Parents by the Dissoluteness of the Age are almost out of Fashion Such as rising up and standing bare before them which is required of the Younger unto such as are their Fathers only by Age Lev. 19.31 to bow before them and desire their Blessing or Prayers to speak alway with respect to them and of them c. The Honour that consists in Obedience may be expressed many ways as by being content to obey their lawful Orders though in the meannest Services to be content to have their own Wills crossed that the Will of their Parents may be fulfilled by not marrying without their Knowledge and Consent and by submitting to their just Reproofs Rebukes and Corrections and obeying them especially in the things of God and for the good of their Souls There is an Honour due to Parents which consists in Thankfulness and Recompence Readily serving them and supplying their outward Wants comforting them in their Sorrows Sufferings Sickness Old-Age being sollicitous for their Safety and Welfare concern'd for their Reputation and Good-Name praying daily for them and plentifully freely and honourably providing for them according to your Ability and their Need. As Joseph did when advanc'd in the Court of Pharaoh This is not Justice only but Piety Let them learn to show Piety at home and requite their Parents 1 Tim. 5.4 And our Lord reproves the Seribes and Pharisees who by their corrupt Doctrines would dispense with Children from such an Obligation Mat. 15.5 6. Such Children then who are a Grief to their Parents or purloin their Goods or waste their Estates or do not to their utmost minister to the Supply of their Wants do so far fail of their Duty The Children of Religious Parents are especially bound to pay them Honour and so to walk as to reflect Honour on them imitating their good Examples thanking God for his special Mercies to their Parents while they lived doing what they can to honour them at their Death pleading with God the Covenant-Relation of their Parents to obtain a Blessing on themselves as their Off-spring and faithfully adhering to the Truth Worship and Ways of God as their Holy Parents did before them This Honour is due to Parents whether they be Rich or Poor Wise or Weak whether in an honourable Station in the World or in meaner Circumstances whether in vigorous Health or bowed down under Sickness and the Insirmities of Old-Age Remember still they are your Parents It is a Mercy you ought to be very thankful for to have Religious Parents and live in a Religious Family It is a Prize in your Hands you must give an Account of And a sad Account it will be if you remain ignorant of God and Rebels against Christ under those Advantages to know and obey him which others want How unthankful are you if you value it not as a Privilege What work for the Worm of Conscience do you provide if you improve it not You might have been born of such Parents as would have wholly neglected the Salvation of your Souls or you might have been cast into some Atheistical Families where God is not worshiped from Week to Week Few are sensible enough of the Obligation they are under to God by being related as Husband or Wife as a Child or a Servant to such as truly fear God I would here call such Children to Repentance who have neglected and failed in their Duty to Parents Let grown Persons reflect on their Childhood and Youth when they lived with their Parents and since Have you not been Stubborn and Rebellious Irreverent and disrespectful in your Carriage to one or both of them Have you not secretly despised them in your Hearts or openly published their Infirmities Have you not often disobeyed their lawful Commands or slighted their wholsom Admonitions Have you not denyed or been backward to Assist and Comfort them Have you not secretly coveted their Estates before their Death or desired that it might be quickly Did you honour them inwardly with a good Conscience from the Love of God and the sense of his Authority Let us call our selves to an account and renew our Repentance before God for such Sins that his Pardoning Grace may prevent his Threatned Wrath. And let us take heed to live hereafter as the Children of such of whom God was not ashamed to be called their God Remember the Advantages of your being thus related to Holy Parents for Temporal Blessings Ishmael Solomon Rehoboam and others are Instances of the kindness of God to Children upon the account of their Fathers But you stand fairest for Spiritual and Eternal Blessings you are Children of the Covenant and Members of the Visible Church of Christ the Blessing of Abraham I will be thy God which reached unto his Seed being now come upon us Gentiles Gal. 3.14 You have many Helps to serious Godliness which others have not You have many Hindrances removed which make it more difficult for others who descend from wicked Parents and live in Ignorant Irreligious Families You have more Knowledg of God and Christ of Sin and Duty And usually the Spirit of Grace begins more early with such Children and follows them with more Calls Offers Invitations Strivings Convictions and leaves them not till they are Profligate Desperate and Resolved in Wickedness whereof Ishmael a Scoffer Esau a Profane Person and the Jewish Nation who filled up the measure of their Iniquity by Rejecting and