our own consciences placing religion in those things which God hath left indifferent as they who prohibited certaine meats or marriage nor will wee dispense with that word in any one point for by any humane authority pretended or pressed to the contrary 3. In all thy actions and designes before thou enterprise duely and seriously consider the end thereof that is as wee have noted like the rudder in the ship though iâ— come last it directeth first and last look before thee and consider what must be the end O that they were wise saith the Lord that they understood this that they would consider their later end so shalt thou at once and ever conclude of all sinful actions with the Apostle The end of those things is death 4. In all thy actions set thy selfe ever in the presence of God so did David professe Psal. 16. 8. ever remember that thou art in his sight and that nothing thou doest or thinkest can be hid from him neither solitude nor darknesse can vaile thee Psal. 139. 11 c. 5. In all that thou doest be sure to hold the rule of charity for that is the fulfilling of the Law this is the fruit of God's Spirit let all things be done in charity there can be nothing acceptable to God which doth not hold this 6. In all religious well designed acts be what thou seemest the hypocrite doth but personate act and counterfeit the saint hee seemeth good but is doubly impious as the Orator said of the Servilii which were very like but not the same so like that they were not distinguished abroad at home they were not of strangers by their own they were When the hypocrite hath deceived other men he never can beguile his owne conscience be thou therefore just and sincere in thy deportment before God and man 7. Do nothing to others which thou wouldst not have done to thee 't is Christ's rule and the summe of the law and the Prophets concerning our duety in the second Table 8. Doe nothing whereof thou must at best bitterly repent thee when the Philosopher had a great price of folly set him he answered I will not buy repentance so dear 9. Doe nothing against thy conscience for fear or favor of men esteem a good testimony thereof before all treasure in some things we sinne all but blessed are they that condemne not themselves in those things they know 10. In every undertaking pray God to direct counsel and blesse thee in every thing by praier and supplication let your requests be made knowne unto God hee is unworthy to be blessed in his works who will not acknowledge God's providence in asking the same A Praier for direction in all our actions MOst merciful Father who hast promised that if the wicked turne from his sins that he hath committed and do that which is lawfull and right he shall live and his transgressions shall not be mentioned unto him in humble acknowledgment of our many sinnes the equity of thy judgments to give us over to our own unhappy waies who have so long refused to be guided by thy holy word and our owne helplesse impotency to stay our selves turn unto thee or set our selves in any good way to serve and please thee wee pray thee for Christ Jesus sake to pardon all our misdeeds and to vouchsafe to lead us in thy pathes and the way thou wouldst have us to walke in we have long gone astray like lost sheep and thou best knowest O our God how dangerous Satan's snares are to us how many the distractions of a beguiling world how fraile and infirme sinful flesh and blood and how many our errours But O Lord thy wisedom cannot erre therefore renouncing our own guidance wee render our selves into thy gracious hands humbly beseeching thee who freely givest wisedom to all that aske and upbraidest no man hold thou up our goings in thy pathes that we faile not direct all our waies that we neither decline to the right hand nor to the lest to offend thee Give us the shield of our salvation and let thy right hand uphold us O thou that hearest the prayers of them that call upon thee heare us for our soules waite on thee direct and guide us keepe us and counsell us in all our actions that we may neither do nor designe any thing but that which is pleasing to thee and which thou wilt blesse unto us that we may walk unblamably and prudently toward all men and holily before thee that in all our actions wee may glorifie thee that wee may adorne the Gospel of Christ by our holy conversations give good example to our neighbours and stop the mouthes of all malicious adversaries so that when these daies of sin are ended we shall rest from our labors we may enter into that promised rest which remaineth for thy people where shall be no more sin error nor curse hear us O Lord in these and all other things necessary for our bodies or soules for Jesus Christ his sake Amen CHAP. XXIII Of the government of Families the dueties of Masters and Servants Husbands and Wives Parents and Children § 1. Of a Familie § 2. Dueties of Masters § 3. Dueties of a Servant § 4. Motives to their dutie 1. WEe have spoken of actions in general and come now to the particular falling under domestick relations of Master and Servant Man and Wife Parents and Children Duties of Publick Persons are without the verge of my present purpose 2. A Family is an epitomy and summe of a Common-wealth which consisteth of several families as the ocean of drops therefore hee meriteth well of the state who well administreth his owne family as he deserveth punishment who doth the contrary A good Patriot equally solicitous for the state and family is a rare jewell but more rare though of lesse worth is an Aristides blame-worthy in this that in his justice and care for the Republick hee was so unjust to and carelesse for his owne family that leaving them to the publick charity hee dishonored vertue with his poverty and herein his policy was lame 3. Some have distributed the family into three parts the first commandeth as Master the second commandeth but not in chiefe as the good vine not on the top but sides of the house the third are auxiliar onely obeying as children and servants 4. Now though this be the order and order so necessaâ—y that without it no society of man can subsist yet must it be with that sanctity and equity that the God of order may be known to govern though man administer and with that lenity and candor of command and willing reverence in obeying that all may seem managed with love not feare familiarity rather then rigid and imperious severity for which I suppose the ancient Latines comprised all three orders under the name of Familiares 5. God in his abundant mercy as hee hath not been sparing
mee that I can neither live well with thee nor without thee Such dishonors of the lovely sex disgraces of woman-hood caused some wise men besides the over-wived a Interrâ—gatus utrum melius esset uxorem ducere néâ—ne inquit 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 D. Laert. l. 1. Socrat l. 2. Psal. 128. Socrates to judge that there is matter of repentance both in wedlock and single life but the good woman openeth her mouth with wisedom and her tongue is the law of kindness Prov. 31. 26. 3. Let her b Tit. 2. 5. keepe at home like the fruitfull vine upon the walls of the house breeding up her children and providing for them it is that which God enjoineth that they be discreet chaste keepers at home it is the harlots character Prov. 7. 11. Shee is loud and stubborn her feet abide not in her house now shee is without now in the streets and lieth in waite at every corner Thus much of the duety of the married to the Widow I have to say she is free to marry again but advise her to take heed that 1. Shee marry not to low least suspicion brand her with the obloquie of some former familiarity 2. That shee marry not too soon least shee that can so quickly abolere Sichaeum be thought for want of love to make such short exequies Valeria being demanded why she married not againe could say My Servius is dead to others not to mee 3. That shee sell not her children to want and her selfe to misery by an ungodly concourse of lust and avarice 4. That shee consider well that which deterred Cato's daughter from second marriage I cannot easily said shee finde that man which loveth mee so much as my estate A Praier for the married O Lord God who didst create man and woman joyne them in marriage sanctify and blesse us whom thy providence hath joyned together Lord give us one heart to love thee and one another in thee that we may be heires together of the promise that thy blessings of heaven above and earth beneath the blessings of peace vnity and plenty may be upon us and all that thou givest us Lord Jesus who didst furnish the wants at the Cana marriage with a bountiful supply supply all our necessities with those things which thou knowest necessary for us that in every estate we may finde a cheerful sufficiency Keepe us bodies and soules from all the snares of Satan the distractions of the world corruptions of flesh and blood and the power of sinne that we may live unblameably toward all men and holily before thee to the good examples of sanctity and sobriety to our families and mutual comforts and blessings to each other through Jesus Christ our Lord Amen CHAP. XXV Concerning the duties of Parents and Children § 1. What honor to Parents want of Children good Parents of evil Children § 2. Duety of the Parent Rules thereto belonging § 3. Dueties of Children Rules thereof Motives thereto 1. HOnour thy father and thy mother saith the Lord. Under this name are comprehended all superiors and governers parents by nature order or institution as under the name of children all inferiors sonnes daughters subjects pupills servants c. and honor importeth all dueties respectively to be performed 2. Want of Children is a great affliction to some therefore Hannah wept and prayed in bitternesse of soul it was then a reproach and affliction to the just and a curse on the wicked When God said unto Abraham Fear not I am thy shield and exceeding great reward hee replyed Lord God what wilt thou give mee seeing I goe childlesse Give mee children or I die said impatient Rachel Shee knew not then what 't was to have a Benoni a sonne of sorrow Children are an heritage of the Lord and the fruit of the wombe is his reward hee maketh the barren woman to keep house and to be a joyfull mother of children as the fruitful vine on the sides of the house with children like olive branches God maketh the just mans wife Great blessings if good or greatest afflictions if otherwise certaine cares uncertain comforts a lovely possession but ever bringing the most happy possessor many cares feares and troubles to some most bitter sorrowes if God give thee no children hee hath given thee the lesse care and occasion of sorrows which in their losse sitteth heavily even on the hearts of those mourning parents who may say as that Shunamite Did'I not desâ—re a sonne of my Lord did I not say doe not decceve mee Be thankful for that which God hath given thee no man hath all happinesse some thou hast the greatest if hee hath given thee Christ thy Redeemer and Saviour how justly may hee say that of Elkanah Why is thy heart grieved am not I better to thee then ten sons 3. That good parents have sometimes evil children appeareth in Noah's Cham Elie's and Samuel's sons David's Amnon and Absolom Jehoshaphat's Hezekiah's Manasse and the like Thus God pleaseth either to punish their neglects in breeding them or to exercise their patience and humble them so likewise to manifest to the world that sanctity is by no natural propagation but free grace Sometimes wicked parents have holy sons as appeareth in Josiah sonne of Amon and many others that none may despair of whatsoever family he come 1. The duety of a Parent toward his children is to nourish and breed them up providing necessaries for them to teach them the feare of the Lord 1 Tim. 5. 1. Tit. 2. 4. Gen. 18. 19. Exod. 12. 27. Exod. 13. 8 14. Deut. 4. 10. Deut. 6. 7 20. Deut. 11. 19. Deut. 32. 46. Josh. 4. 6 7 21 22. Josh. 22. 24. Psal. 74. 4. Isai. 38. 19. Joël 1. 3. Ephes. 6. 4. to reprove their â—innes 1 Sam 3. 13. Prov. 13. 24. Prov. 29. 17. Hebr. 12. 9. Gen. 34. 30. to pray for them 2 Sam. 12. 16. Job 1. 5. to lay up forâ—them 2 Cor. 12. 14. Gen. 24. 36. 2 Chron. 21. 3. to bestow them in marriage Gen. 24. 2 3. Gen. 21. 21. Gen. 28. 1. Judg. 14. 3 5. Therefore these following rules are necessary for parents concerning the same 1. Study thy family that thou maist not be a stranger at home first it is necessary for thee to proportion the expences thereof and the breeding of thy children according to thy estate lest thou build higher then thy foundation will beare it hath been the evident ruine of many families that parents have bred their children in so great an heigth as that the meanes they were able to leave them could not maintain them It is not a little wisedom to live within thy fortunes and to use thy children to a condition rather much too low then the least little above thy estate the minde will easily greaten and rise with the fortunes but very hardly lessen or descend it is an evident danger to beare a saile
and amity that they give not scandal to others nor create mutual bitternesse to themselves Mutual love is gods blessing on thy family a praeludium of heaven in thy house a comfortable pattern to thy children like the sun-beams on thy possession as the dew of heaven on thy fields which maketh all look cheerfully and be fruitful a state that cometh neerest up to that blessed Paradise-oeconomy of Adam innocent a blessing which maketh every estate such without which no store is blessed k Pro. 15. 17 Better is a dinner of herbs where love is then a stalled oxe and hatred therewith l Pro. 17. 1. Better is a dry morsel and quietnesse therewith then an housefull of sacrifices with strife 4. That they do cheerfully and willingly communicate in all that which God hath given them in prosperity advising in adversity comforting each other with such sympathy in joy and sorrow as is in them who are truely one flesh 5. That they bear each others infirmities never taking things spoken or done in the worst sense nor making every trivial matter an occasion of quarrel or alienation of affection but passing by them so as that they may seem rather covered in love then excused in judgement or approved in stupidity in which practice Satan may be beaten with his own weapon while that every occasion which hee administred in hope to former discord being prudently used to demonstrate the invincible love of the party suffering and willing rather to put up injury then to admit the least breach of amity by retaliation more endeareth them to each other 6. That they join hands and hearts to assist each other in the way to heaven See 1 Cor. 7. 16. 1 Pet. 3. 7. 7. That they mutually defend each other so Michol preserved David when Saul sought his life so prudent Abigail endeavoured Nabal's preservation they must not be false Delilahs to conâ—ederate against the lives or estates of their husbands 8. That they neither unjustly take nor justly give occasion of jealousie which ever embittereth the otherwaies most happy families Jerom's rule is here to be commended to women m Etsi negagata non feceris tamen deforme putes testimonium si rogeris Hier ep 2l 9 though thou yeeld not being asked yet think it an odious testimony to be asked hee comes to neer who cometh to be denied The Duties proper to the Husband may appeare in these following Rules 1. Let the n 1 Pet. 3. 7. husband dwell with his wife according to knowledge giving honor to her as the weaker vessel as being co-heires of the grace of life that their prayers be not hindred where there needeth reproof let it neither be rough odious injurious publick clamorous nor disgracefull but allayed with such wisedome and opportune perswasions as may not only reform but endeare in the most happy wedlock there may be some matter of just dislike and therefore due cause of reproof it much concerneth thee to know thy wives faults but not to hate her for them let the rule be either beare thy wives faults if tolerable with patience or amend them with direction if they are intolerable in this thou makest her better in that thy selfe 2. Let a man love o Eph. 5. 33. his wife as himselfe esteeming nothing too good or dear for her good as Christ loved his Church which concludeth nothing for them who impiously and cruelly afflict their wives with stripes or otherwise for God saith p Col 3 19. Husbands love your wives and be not bitter against them it is uncertaine whether they have evil wives but certain that they deserve such who can no otherwise governe then by blowes Neither doth this binde any man to an indiscreet much lesse an impious and dangerous indulgence to his wife wherein she desireth that which needs must or probably may hurt her self her husband or family it is love and wisedome to deny her that 3. Let a man maintain his wife in cloaths and necessaries according to his estate so as shee may live cheerfully with him not as servant but as a partner in his estate 4. Let the husband use all comity holy gratious prudent and peaceable language as a pattern to all his family so specially as a pledge of love to his wife neither like rugged Nabal nor fond and vaine which commonly changeth into fits of extream bitternesse for who can like such inksome levity 5. Let the man heare the wife's advice but never be transported beyond better reason nor carried thereby against the holy will of God as Adam whose dreadfull sentence bare this cause in the front q Gen. 3. 17. because thou hast hearkned to the voice of thy wife as r 1 King 21. 25. Ahab hearkned to the voice of Jezaâ—el as s 1 King 11 3 Solomon whom his wives most fearfully corrupted t Anilâ—e mihi liber videatur cui mulier imperat cui leges imponit praescribit iubet vetat qui nihil imperaâ—â—i negare potest nihil recusare audetâ—â— ego verò isâ—um non modò servum sed nâ—quissimum servum etiamsi in amplissima â—amilta natus sit appellandum puto Cic. pared omnes sapientes liberos esse c. The Orator could say of a man so awed by his wife I doe think that hee ought to be called not onely a slave but truely the worst of such Concerning the proper dueties of Wives I sinde these three principle rules 1. Let the wife be u Eph. 5. 22. Col 3. 18. subject to her husband as unto the Lord in every thing for the man is the wife's head w 1 Tim. â— 9 12. shee was made for man God permitteth not the woman to usurpe authority over the man this duety comprehendeth love x Eph. 5. 32. reverence aiâ— and assistance doing her husband good endeavouring to content please and comfort him See Pro. 31. 11. contrary to which is the imperious command of the domineering wife unreverend speech or action neglect of her charge through pride sloth or riotous wasting her husbands estate 2. Let her be chaste modest and silent the Scripture expresseth this by y 1 Pet. 3. 5 6 1 Pet. 3 1 c. 1 Tim. â— 9 10 chast conversation coupled with feare impudency and chastity are rarely compatible and modest apparreling which becometh women professing godlinesse andâ—let the women learn with all subjectionâ— a meâ—k and a quiet spirit are of high esteem in Gods sight this is God's rule by what law they live who think it religion and good policy by their loud and quarrelsom tongues bitter spirits of contradiction and otherwise to master their husbands and cantonize themselves I know not it is certain these are heavy crosses and no better then the sad furies possessing and so restlesly haunting the house of a wretched man that hee may well take up that old bemoaning z Hei mihi nec sine te nec tecum vivere possum Woe is
the Woman was of the man without paine because innocent but now the man is of the woman with her sorrow because she hath sinned a sorrow so intense and embittered with feare and anguish that the Holy Ghost hereby expresseth the condition of the fainting afflicted and dejected spirit in sodaine feares of the affrighted conscience expecting an inevitable judgement The hower of birth and death the entrance and exit of this World being solely in Gods hand and secret counsaile none else knowing the time nor being able to dispose thereof reason more then apparent urgeth the necessity of addresse to him 2. Some are the sepulchers of their Children gone out of ere they came into this World exiled before they saw a native soile advanced from a short imprisonment in the wombe to the glorious liberty of the sonnes of God to the blessed Kingdome of Heaven before they touched this cursebearing earth some see their Benoni and thence have passage into eternall life where the sentence of death began some live to tast their sorrowes allay in â—he sweetest temper of divine mercy with justice becoming rejoycing mothers all is disposed by the all-guiding providence and unlessened power of Gods word who at the beginning but spake and it was done It hath much troubled some to think why if our sinnes be pardoned in Christ are not the punishments thereof also taken away as here why the elect and reprobate the chast matron and filthy adultresse should in this sentence share and suffer alike for satisfaction herein let the servant of God considerâ— 1. That whereas all sinne though not in the same kinde measure or degrees there remaining the same cause there must remaine the same effect in all that bring forth 2. This life is the stadium or race which we have through the variable distractions and tryalls of seducing pleasures and dejecting paines so to runne that we may obtaine here all are a like the Wheat and the tares must grow up togeather unto the harvest the difference shall appeare in the binding up which shall sufficiently crowne or punish 3. Gods finall sentence is adjourned to the Worlds great Assizes the day in which he hath appointed to judge in righteousnesse if he should by present rewards or punishments distinguish between good and evill the matter of Religion would seem acted by selfe-love feare awing and gaine alluring servile mindes to secure and serve themselves not God rather then the love of God which is the summe and ground of all true obedience nor should men according to the mercifull ordinance of God live by Faith but sense the lives of beasts rather then of men they are drawn to obsequie by rewards held out to them or compelled to duty by stripes but these by Faith in the promises of God even when there appeareth in things externall no difference between the wicked and the just nor indeed should God otherwise leave a due place for faiths reward which is not slitely tryed by our present sharing in secular evills with the wicked nor so just and great a punishment of sinne by permitting the disobedient to runne on in their own wayes storing up wrath against the day of wrath and greatning their own damnation 4. Though there is much difference in the issue between the temporall afflictions common to elect and reprobate they being the beginning of destruction to these and a fatherly correction to the other that they might not be condemned with the World yet he continueth them to his dearest children in this life that they may make them throughly sensible of the odiousnesse of sinne by the bitter effects thereof of Gods immutable and inviolable justice the same now which it was when this dolefull sentence was first pronounced of the corrupted state of mans depraved nature conceived in sinne and therefore comming into living in and going out of the World with sorrow and lastly of the necessity of our repaire by faith and continuall renewing our repentance 5. As all other afflictions are not only mitigated but made good to the Saints and coâ—perative for the best to them that love God so is this for through this temporall Childbearing they shall be saved if they continue in Faith and Charity with holinesse and sobriety and in the mean time they are not without their peculiar comforts 1. Our Saviour noted it So soon as she is delivered of the child she remembreth no more the anguish for joy that a man is borne into the World Doubtlesse as it was and is an affliction to be childlesse so it cannot but be a comfort to her that by an holy progeny encreaseth the Kingdome of God to be her Husbands blessing a fruitfull Vine upon the walls of his house God promising the fruit of the wombe and the sweet Olive branches round about the table for a blessing to them that feare him and walke in his waies 2. It must be a comfort to consider how God not only in Christ in whom male and female have equall interest hath taken off the curse from this sexe made coe-heires with us of the same grace but also the dishonour and bitternesse of their sentence by some peculiar favours and consolations as first that he sent forth his Sonne made of a Woman without man so that he made her mother of Christ according to the flesh that shee might by the power of the most high conceive her Saviour that as shee was the unhappy doore to let in sorrowes and paines deaths terrible harbingers and destruction on all her posterity so she might be to let in Christ the peace happinesse redeemer and life of all the elect Secondly that God made her seed to break the serpents head 3. That he made a Woman the first witnesse of the accomplishment thereof in his resurrection from the dead that the sexe that first heard and felt the sentence on sinne should first see and beleeve the ransome of our sinne there accomplished where death was absolutely vanquished 3. In the sweet object of their affection they most tenderly love who suffer the most bitter sorrow for Children God sometimes expresseth the constancy of his love by a mothers can a Mother forget could a greater among the children of men have been found his infinite love and compassion towards man should have been weighed by it 4. In their Husbands greater love as Leah said now therefore my Husband will love me none but the unnaturall but will have compassion and the more tender love to her by whose sorrowes God hath made him glad by the comfort of deare Children pledges of his posterity 5. In their Childrens love and duty who forsake not the law of their mother as fooles who are their living sorrowes onely the wicked forget their Mothers paines and care for them the ravens of the vallies are too milde executioners for them who despise their Mother when shee is old who looketh