Selected quad for the lemma: duty_n

Word A	Word B	Word C	Word D	Occurrence	Frequency Band	MI	MI Band	Prominent
duty_n	husband_n	love_n	wife_n	8,272	5	8.0646	4	true

Text snippets containing the quad

ID	Title	Author	Corrected Date of Publication (TCP Date of Publication)	STC	Words	Pages
A65957	The whole duty of a woman: or a guide to the female sex From the age of sixteen to sixty, &c. Being directions, how women of all qualities and conditions, ought to behave themselves in the various circumstances of this life, for their obtaining not only present, but future happiness. I. Directions how to obtain the divine and moral virtues of piety, meekness, modesty, chastity, humility, compassion, temperance and affability, with their advantages, and how to avoyd the opposite vices. II. The duty of virgins, directing them what they ought to do, and what to avoyd, for gaining all the accomplishments required in that state. With the whole art of love, &c. 3. The whole duty of a wife, 4. The whole duty of a widow, &c. Also choice receipts in physick and chirurgery. With the whole art of cookery, preserving, candying, beautifying, &c. Written by a lady.	Lady, fl. 1701.	1696 (1696)	Wing W2054B; ESTC R221014	59,390	159

THE Whole Duty OF A WOMAN Or a Guide to the Female Sex From the Age of Sixteen to Sixty c. Being Directions How Women of all Qualities and Conditions ought to Behave themselves in the Various Circumstances of this Life for their Obtaining not only Present but Future Happiness I. Directions how to Obtain the Divine and moral Virtues of Piety Meekness Modesty Chastity Humility Compassion Temperance and Affability with their Advantages and how to avoyd the Opposite Vices II. The Duty of Virgins Directing them what they ought to do and what to avoyd for gaining all the Accomplishments required in that State With the Whole Art of Love c. 3. The Whole Duty of a Wife 4. The Whole Duty of a Widow c. Also Choice Receipts in Physick and Chirurgery With the Whole Art of Cookery Preserving Candying Beautifying c. Written by a Lady The Second Edition London Printed for J. Gwillim against the Great James Tavern in Bishopsgate-street 1696. LICENSED according to Order D. Poplar THE PREFACE TO Ladys Gentlewomen and others of all Degrees HAving had a Liberal Education and many Opportunities to Improve what my Younger years were Seasoned with I have been no ways Neglectful to my self or others in Gaining Knowledge and Experience in such vseful things as not only already have but further will prove Advantagious to both and much Oblige Posterity when I am Resting in a Silent Grave by a Seasonable Publication of them For since Age grows fast upon me it is but Necessary I should do all the Good I can before I go out of this World that I may find the Comfort of it in another Three things we are Chiefly Born for Viz. 1. TO Serve GOD. 2. Our Country And Lastly Our Slves Though some not minding this Rule make the Latter the only Scope of their Lives but are more Lightly concerned about the two Antecedents Yet their Practices ought to be no Discouragement nor Example You will find in this Work such Variety of all things properly Adapted to our Sex that you must I believe Confess there is nothing that Reasonably Contributes to a perfect Accomplishment or Management in the several Stages or Stations of Life Omitted And therefore I could Frame to my Self no properer Title than that of The Whole Duty of a Woman Especially from the Age of Sixteen to Sixty For between these periods there is found the Truest Portion of Good in this Life If it be Considered that on the other side first the Vnderstaning is Weak and Green Vncapable of forming Sound Notions of things Solid and Substantially profitable either as they tend to Outward or Inward Tranquility And passing the Latter Age and its Vneasy Attendants frequently Debilitate the Faculties and as it were Seiz on and Carry away the Memory in a large Degree However it may Tollerably in one Sense or other suit Tender Years and Extream Age by Directing them in such Ways and Methods as cannot but reasonably Afford them all reasonable Advantages and Satisfaction especially to keep up a Healthful Constitution here and Teach them to Trace those paths of Virtue that Lead to the Well-Springs of Life and Endless Health hereafter But not to Delay your Expectation in dwelling long on a Preface never doutbting but it will sufficiently commend it self without any further Apology I Bequeath it to you as my Legacy and indeed the last in this kind I shall be capable of Presenting you withal Hoping you will Seriously Weigh and Consider it as it was Meant and Intended for your Good and Singular Advantage THE Whole Duty OF A WOMAN CHAP. I. Directions how to Obtain the Divine and Mortal Vertues of Piety Meekness Modesty Chastity Humility Compassion Temperance and Affability with their Advantages And how to Avoy'd the opposite Vices as Impiety Obstinacy Immodesty Vncleanness Pride Vncharitableness Intemperence and Disdain with the Mischiefs that attend them BEING to Treat of the many Graces and Vertues that are required to be strictly Observed by our Sex I think I cannot do better than to ●egi● with that which more immediatly ●s r●●●ired to Beautifie the Soul and so o●●he ●est in order Piety then is an excellent adornment to the Soul and Body And indeed Sollomon well Admonished when he bid you Remember your Creator in the days of your Youth for your Duty to God is an Introduction to all other Felicities in this World and that to come Be therefore mindful of this Pray earnestly that he may enable you in the performence of it Meditate on this Love and Kindness towards you that he may continue his Blessings and encrease them to your comfort Consider you are wholy Gods Portion by title of Creation and that whatever you enjoy proceeds from him as the Waters Flow from the Fountain And therfore all your Endeavours Faculties and Powers must be entierly imployed in his Service in doing all the good you can our Sex being priviledged with great advantages of this Kind by reason of the leisure that have to proceed in it 2. It is not alone sufficient that the Service of God is imprinted in our Minds but it must be put into Practice and nothing that is in your power omited and if you fail in either you must re-double your diligence to re-call the time you have spent a miss with full resolutions and purposes to be more cautious for the future And be often in Meditation and Prayer That no Temptation may find an opertunity to six upon your wandering Thoughts these two are the main Pillers of Religious Duty They are like the Spies that searched the Land of Canan the one views and the other gathers and brings it home as the sweetest Fruits of Heaven Meditation like the Eye views our Mercies and prayer like the Hand reaches to us those Mercies Or Meditation is like a Factor who goeth abroad to gather in what you want and Prayer like a Ship goeth forth and bringeth to you what you desire And is both the Duty of the soul and Body 3. Let God be all in all with you set your affections upon nothing that may divide you from him for that is a Robing him of his Honour and then Remember he is a Jealous God Love him with all your Heart and all your Soul and all your Strength Be in Kindness and Charity with all People Relieve those that are in want according to your Ability Instruct those that do Amiss and Perswade them to amend and reform their Lives Give no occasion of Scandal or Reproach but let your Conversations set an Example to other 〈…〉 your Private Devotions be Frequent 〈…〉 and in the publick Assemblies of 〈◊〉 Worship behave your Selves with all 〈…〉 Modesty and becoming Decency 〈◊〉 neither your Thoughts nor Eyes warder Be attentive and fix your mind on what was the occasion of your coming thither that Gods Grace may flow to you and so his Word may be Imprinted in your Hearts Forget not to Communicate but above all be

as things inferiour to them This mistake is not only sensless but criminal too in putting a greater-price upon that which is a piece of Good Luck that upon things which are valuable in themselves The whole Art of LOVE HAving understood and duly weighed these things with the former Virtues and Accomplishments both Divine and Moral I suppose yon now at years capable of entering into the Holy State of Matrimony Ordained at first by God in Paradice and since not only in Sacred Writ● but highly esteemed by all the Civilize● Nations And that you may not rush upon so weighty a thing rashly or unad visedly I shall to conclude the Virgin-state lay down some Rules and Directions tha● will not only be a sure and safe Conduct to such as are placed in stations of Eminency but even to those of Lower Degrees so that the meanest may raise he● Fortune by them For I have often observed through Cautions and Pruden● Management in matters of Love many Poor Virgins Initiated into Families by Marriage that have not barely enriched them but given such Reputation and Credit to their Virtues that they have out● shined those that a little before lookes down upon them with Disdain Contemp● upon examination it will be found that Nature is to far from being unjust to us that she is partial on our side and for the seeming injustice has made large amends for one other advantage the right of complaining by that means being come over to us it is in our power not only to free our selves but to subdue our Masters and without Violence throw both their Natural and Legal Authority at our Feet The Sexes are made of different tempers that the Defects may be the better supplied by mutual assistance Our Sex wants the others Reason for our Conduct and their Strength for our protection Their want our Gentleness to Soften and Entertain them our Looks have more Strength than their Laws there is more power in our Tears than in their Arguments and therefore things prudently managed will by degrees bring over a Husband to see his Errors and by acknowledging his failings take care for the future to amend them but then the Wifes Gentleness and Virtue must be the Mirror wherein he must see the deformity of his Irregularities 4. Something more must be said in this point in the Conduct of your Behaviour to his Relations and Friends For many times a neglect or slight regard of the● makes wide breaches in a Family Yo● may be sure they will not fail to resent any sensible disrespect and complaints O● will not always fail to stir up your Husbands Anger against you especially when he concludes himself injured by it And therefore you must consider to carry you self even with them for the Family into which you are ingraffed will generally be apt to expect that like a Stranger in a Forreign Country you should in 〈◊〉 great measure conform to their methods 〈◊〉 they are of any considerable degree and not bring in a new Model by your own Authority And therefore that you may with the less difficulty afterwards give your Directions you ought to take them first from your Husbands Friends if an opportunity offers gain them by early applying to them and they will be so satisfied that as nothing is more thankful than Pride when it is complyed with that they will strive which of them shall most recommend to you and when they have contributed to your taking firm root in your Husbands good Opinion you will have the less dependance on theirs though you ought not to neglect any reasonable means of preserving it Consider where a Husband is Governed as it were by his Friends he is easily inflamed by them and he that is not so will notwithstanding for his own sake expect to have them considered it is easily improved to a point of Honour in a Husband not to have his Relations neglected and nothing is found more dangerous in this kind than to raise an objection grounded on Pride it is the most stubborn and lasting passage we are subject to and where it begins a War it is very hard to make a secure Peace therefore use them well and be well with them and they will not fail to support you in your Husbands Love and then if Discontents arise it is your own fault The next thing I am to lay down in the State of Marriage is The Office and Duty of a Mother And this may be branched into many severals but many of them being not very significant I shall only reduce them under two Heads viz. Love and Care A Mother is a Title of so much tenderness that we find it borrowed by our common Dialect to express the tenderest of all kindnesses So that Nature seems sufficient to have secured the Love of a Mother toward the Fruit of her Womb without the ai● of any positive Law unless where Monsters in VVickedness and that very seldom give contrary precedents to the Blot 〈◊〉 Name Abhorrence and lasting Infam● The Love of a Parent however the Children may afterward prove ought and indeed naturally is descending and a● things move most violently downwards So that whereas that of Children to their Parents commonly need a Spur this o● the Mother frequently requires a Bridl● who by strength of Feminine passion usually exceeds the Father Therefore to regulate this Affection you are to Advert to these two Rules 1. That you hurt not your self by this excess of Love 2. That you hurt not your Children Of the first you are in danger if you suffer that human Affection to swell beyond its Banks so as to come in any competition with the Divine for then you dishonour God by making an Idol o● your Child and for this cause Covetousness is in one sense called Idolatry because what any one sets his or her affections upon entirely he or she is supposed to Idolize and frame it in their Imaginations as a God though in reality it be nothing so and I cannot but fear God upon this account has been displeased with too many Mothers and sent them Afflictions even to Humbling by as in some Sence I may term it untimely taking from them those Children they Idolized to the prejudice of his Honour and even of their own Souls for indeed every thing is so accounted that Rivals the Love of God in our Hearts and he who owns the Title of a Jealous God cannot be reasonably thought to bear it without one way or other Punishing us By this however I do not mean you should follow the Example of those who immoderatly love their own pleasure and do not in the least regard their Children which God has given them as immediate Blessings looking on them as a Clog to keep them within doors and think their Adverting to them will hinder their Gadding Abroad turning them over for that Reason which indeed is but a very slender one to the Care of a Nurse or a Maid whilst

if you would be really Kind you must temper your Indulgence with a Prudent Severity or else you eminently violate this Second Rule by which you should Regulate you Love and so do that to them which Jacob feared from his Father Gen. 27. Bring a Curse upon them and not a Blessing Thirdly In the next Period of their time when they are arrived at Years of Reason and Growth Then you may be more Familiar with them they having before been Seasoned to know their Distance and Duty Allow them such a Kind yet Modest Freedom that they may have a Complaisancy in your Conversation and not be tempted to seek it amongst their Inferiours That the belief of your kindness may supplant the pretensions of those mean Sycophants who by little Flatteries endeavour to screw themselves into their good opinion and become their Confidents than which especially to Daughters there is nothing more Mischieveous in teaching them Disobedience and rendering them Mutinous against their Parents by buzzing into their Ears the wild notions of Vnbounded Liberty and Freedom which Lectures they should not so soon be trusted withall Besides those Intimacies are often Introductions to worse many Scandalous Amours and unequal Matches have had their rise from them It must therefore be your Business to prevent all such pernicious Leagues in preingaging them in more safe Familiarities either with your self or some others of whose Virtues you have reason to be Confident But the most Infalible Security against this and all other Mischiefs is to bring them to an Intimacy and Conversation with their Maker by fixing a true sense of Religion in their Souls for if that can effectually be done it will supersced all other Expedients for if they duly consider they are always in Gods Presence they will want no other Inspector nor much need Monitors if they seriously attend to the advice of their own Conscience Neither will it tend only to the securing of their Innocency but their Reputation it being one part of the Christian Law to Abstain from all appearances of Evil 1. Thes 5.22 To do things that are of Good Report Phil. 4.8 So that Piety is the only Compleat Armour to defend at once their Virtue and their Fame and it is extreamly necessary they should be furnished with it at this Age especially It is sad to be Considered indeed That some Mothers neglect this most Important Concern in their Daughters though Nicely Curious in their other parts of Breeding They give them Civil Accomplishments but no Christian those are excluded by them out of the Scheme of Education and by that means lye under the prejudice of being not only Vnnecessary but Vngentile below the regard of a Person of Quality I suppose this is often encreased by a little Vanity they have in seeing them excel in some o● those Exteriour Qualities which may recommend them to the Humour of the World upon the Improving whereof they are 〈◊〉 intent that more Material things are over looked And so this part of the Busine● or Duty of a Wife I shall Conclude in Advising you to be careful in Placing or Bestowing your Children in the World either in Marriage or Business that the may Flourish in Piety and Wealth and b● the lasting Comforts of your Life A Mistress is another Obligation Incumbent on you when Marry'd if you Live in any Quality or Repute in the World for in such a case the Inspection of the Family is usually your Province for though you are not Supream there yet you are to improve your Delegated Authority t● the Advantage of them under it And you more Constant Residence gives you more opportunities of it than the frequent Avocations of your Husband will perhaps allow him St. Paul sets this as the Calling and Indispenable Duty of a Married Woman That she Guide the House 1 Tim. 5 1● Not thinking it a Point of Greatness t● remit the Mannagement of all Domestick Concerns to a Mercenary Housekeeper Now as to your well Guiding of your House I know no better Rule Than that you endeavour to make all that are yours to be Gods Servants also This will secure you of all those Intermedial Qualifications in them in which your Secular Interest is concern'd their own Consciences being the best Spy you can set upon them as to their Truth and Fidelity and also the Best Spur to Industry and Dilligence A Christian Family should be the Epitomy of a Church It is not only the Duty but Interest of all that have Families to keep up the Esteem and Practice of Religion in them It was one of the greatest Endearments of Abraham to God That be would Command his Houshould to keep the way of the Lord Gen. 18.19 And Joshua undertakes no less for the Piety of his House than himself As for me says he and my House we will Serve the Lord Jos 2. 〈◊〉 5. But when Pie● is planted in a Family it will soon wither if it be not kept in Vigor by Discipline This you must promoreby● your own Example to your Servants calling upon them to mind their Duty to God and observe they do not neglect it or do it Hypocritically for Form and Compliance only which may be discerned in their Conversations elsewhere You must Remember not to fall into Mistakes of thinking because they receive Wages and are so Inferiour to you they are therefore beneath your Care to know how to Mannage them They are the moving Engines of your Family and let your Directions be never so faultless yet if they Stop or Move Irregular the whole Order of the House will be at a stand or discomposed Besides the Inequality which is between you must not make you forget that Nature maketh no such distinction But that Servants ought at least to be looked upon as humble Freinds and that good usage and returns of kindness are as much due to those that deserve it as their Service is due to you when you require it A Foolish Haughtiness in the Stile of Speaking or in the manner of Commanding them is in it self very unseemly and frequently begets aversion in them of which the least ill effect to be expected is That they will be slow and careless in all you Enjoyn them And by Experience you will find it true That you will be so much the more Obeyed as you are the less Imperious Be not too hasty in giving your Or●●●●● not too angry when they are not altogether observed much less be not Lowd or appear too much Disturbed An evenness in distinguishing when they do well or ill will make them move by a Rule and without Noise and will the better set out your Skill in Conducting matters with Ease and Silence Let there be well chosen hours for the inspecting of Houshould Affairs which may be distinguished from the rest of your time that the necessary Cares may come in their proper place without any influence upon your good Humour or interruption to other things By